and it was rushed and i could only think of so many moments

anonymous asked:

One minor thing that kind of bugs me about P&P adaptations: they often make it seem like Elizabeth's visit to Pemberley helped her realize she had feelings for Darcy because of his welath and grandeur when really it was (I think?!) because she saw how much happier and at ease he was there and other people's high regard for him. I can't tell you how many people I've heard say that Lizzie comes off like a gold digger because this epiphany comes once she sees his estate.

I mean, Elizabeth herself makes that joke about starting to love him ‘cause of how fancy his house and property are, but that’s classic Lizzy making jokes to avoid getting too sentimental about her Feelings. But it’s also a valid concern. The spectre of materialism haunts the pages of P&P more than in any other Austen novel, I think. Mrs. Bennet is forever going on and on about her daughters making good marriages–good being financially stable. Everyone acknowledges this from that famous first line of the novel regarding men of fortune and their need for wives. We know a rich man doesn’t NEED a wife in practical terms, but the clever unspoken implication is that such a man requires a wife because it is simply unconscionable for a rich man to remain single while there are genteel ladies with no money or prospects in need of that support. (As Austen says elsewhere in Mansfield Park: “… there certainly are not so many men of large fortune in the world as there are pretty women to deserve them.”) These ‘deserving’ single women are everywhere in Austen, but there are a lot more of them in Pride and Prejudice. (Once you have a family with five daughters it just becomes a headache to think of how one is to provide good marriages for all of them and Mrs. Bennet really deserves much more sympathy than she gets in this regard. Fuck, I’d have a nervous disposition, too.)

Mrs. Bennet is perhaps too unguarded about her schemes and hopes for her daughter’s prospects, which is where the suspicion of nothing but materialistic motives comes from in Darcy, and which he uses to sway Bingley. The Bennets’ financial position is no secret, and Jane is just too difficult to read. Darcy presumes his own wealth and standing is enough to woo Elizabeth into accepting him, because I don’t think a sane smart man in his position could claim to have done any proper courtship prior to his first proposal. No, he was banking on Elizabeth being persuaded by the sheer force of his wealth and her poverty. Of course Elizabeth does not, and has already rejected the offer of Mr. Collins’ eligible situation (he’s horrible, but he IS materially a sound match,) but Mr. Darcy is not to know.

Elizabeth’s change of feelings towards Darcy do coincide with her going to Pemberley, and it’s not unreasonable for everyone around her to presume that may have something to do with it (her father worries that her acceptance of Darcy’s proposal has been prompted by material considerations, as he has been humbled by Lydia’s elopement and perhaps realizes what a poor father and provider he has been, and fears for Lizzy’s unhappiness if she is prompted by desperation to take this offer after such a scare as the family had with the scandal.)

Of course, modern readers have no real excuse for seriously thinking Elizabeth is a mere gold-digger. That whole suspicion pervades the book, swirling around almost all the single women we see. It’s a tacit presumption by many, but it’s never to be spoken of in an open and vulgar fashion, as Mrs. Bennet does, because people do have feelings. Charlotte plays the game of placating Mr. Collins and allowing him to pretend he has acted on sentiment when she knows she is marrying him for her own independence and security and that his attachment to her must be imaginary. Elizabeth resists both offers of marriage which would prompt acceptance on materialistic terms, alone. Darcy only has confidence in his first proposal because of his wealth–so he’s presuming that Elizabeth is at least neutral towards him AND that she cannot fail to have been influenced by her mother’s style of thinking (and the wider cultural presumptions that prompt Charlotte’s alliance with Mr. Collins.) Lizzy is a poor Bennet, and he is Mr. Darcy of Pemberley, and trusts that even simply the rumour of his income will be enough to attract her. He’s certainly not been engaging on a personal level.

Elizabeth, we know, goes strongly against all these presumptions. Firstly because she rejects Mr. Collins on the basis of principle, and though she thinks he is ridiculous, she does not hate him. She simply knows she cannot sacrifice her personal happiness for material security. That is the base-line, for her. Then there’s Darcy, and when he proposes, she despises him more thoroughly than she despises anyone else in her world. Darcy doesn’t know this, as he’s been living in a parallel universe where he just thinks he’s been rather quiet around her and doesn’t know that she knows/thinks he’s that asshole who ruins the lives of people she loves/likes. Darcy could only dream of being a Mr. Collins, at that point, and Lizzy would have still rejected him. She double-hates him, and then he has to do the work to come back from that and re-build something workable where his worth as a human being comes from something other than his purchasing power. Of course he has it in him, and only needs an opportunity and motivation to show it, and this is what happens at Pemberley.

Mr. Collins also has the opportunity of displaying his comfortable home and standing in Kent when Elizabeth visits but she isn’t swayed by any of it, no matter how pretty the county or imposing Rosings Park is. So, yes, she admires Pemberley, and jokes about how it changed her mind, but Mr. Collins’ pretty parsonage didn’t make her regretfully think of what might have been, nor would Pemberley (no matter how grand) truly make Elizabeth wish she would have accepted Mr. Darcy as he was when he first proposed.

Now, in adaptations, time is always going to be an issue when one must decide what to keep, what to cut, and what people/events to conflate to save on space. The third act is crammed with post-proposal fallout, Truths being revealed, the hard grind of deep character development, and the action of Lydia’s fall and rescue and More Truths being revealed. And Lizzy’s joke about loving Darcy since the day she saw Pemberley is funny, so of course it gets left in, as does the final dramatic salvo of Mr. Bennet’s uncertainty about what is motivating Elizabeth to accept Darcy’s proposal. I guess anybody doing a superficial viewing of this rollicking rush of events could presume that she seriously meant it, but I feel like the nuance is still there if we’re willing to take a moment to grasp it. I haven’t personally encountered anybody who seriously believes Elizabeth is a gold-digger, when she continually proves she is not, especially contrasted against her mother’s open materialism and the foil of Charlotte’s pragmatic choice to accept Mr. Collins after Lizzy rejected him.

So it was so cool that ‘A Dance with Dragons’ didn’t just start with a Jonerys chapter transition, but a Tyrion - Dany - Jon chapter transition right off the bat.  Haven’t been sucked into an asoiaf book this quickly until ADWD.  If you don’t want to read the entire series, you can just read this book, this is where the Essos & Wall/Beyond diverges from the show in the best possible way. 

So Tyrion starts his trip at the mansion in Pentos where Dany started her story and it’s really cool in the sense that Tyrion started his journey by travelling to the Wall with Jon, he unites wildling mountain clans and gets them to follow him into civilisation on his way back from the Vale, convinces themto join his family’s battle and later even includes them in his joint effort with his sister to protect their home against an invader. A nice condensed parallel of Jon’s arc and now he gets a mini version of Dany’s Essos journey too. Varys isn’t his travel companion yet but he’s similarly emo…

Jon & Dany both start out having a hard time adjusting to positions of power - Lord Commander & Queen, having problems with middle aged men in terms of politics and getting to Dany’s Meereen plot, it’s very well laid out. The Yunkai conflict is clear and doesn’t require guesswork like the show. Also it finally makes sense why her fiance guy was hell bent on opening fighting pits, because he bought shares in them while they crashed after Dany closed the pits and he’s using culture as an excuse to make profit. As someone who paid my way through college by investing during the recession at the right time, this finally makes sense. Even the reason behind her considering to marry him makes more sense, because he’s a rich & powerful guy with connection in Yunkai. I have a feeling I’m going to enjoy book Meereen…

Some cool quotes from my first Dany chapter in ages.. Like I laughed so hard at this I choked on my coffee… Out of no where during a serious political scene :D

If he proposes again that I wed King Cleon, I’ll throw a slipper at his head, Dany thought.

Five Aegons had ruled the Seven Kingdoms of Westeros. There would have been a sixth, but the Usurper’s dogs had murdered her brother’s son when he was still a babe at the breast. If he had lived, I might have married him. Aegon would have been closer to my age than Viserys. Dany had only been conceived when Aegon and his sister were murdered. Their father, her brother Rhaegar, perished even earlier, slain by the Usurper on the Trident.

Oh damn, if only Rhaegar procreated to make a backup Aegon before dying, if only…

Though that could also be yet another hint dropping for this Aegon’s death end of the book, liek George has no chill with that in ADWD… On a happy note, this is a super cute dragon mom moment with hints that Drogon & Viserion might just have to fight at a much larger scale some day : 

Viserion sensed her disquiet. The white dragon lay coiled around a pear tree, his head resting on his tail. When Dany passed his eyes came open, two pools of molten gold. His horns were gold as well, and the scales that ran down his back from head to tail. “You’re lazy,” she told him, scratching under his jaw. His scales were hot to the touch, like armor left too long in the sun. Dragons are fire made flesh. She had read that in one of the books Ser Jorah had given her as a wedding gift. “You should be hunting with your brothers. Have you and Drogon been fighting again?” Her dragons were growing wild of late. Rhaegal had snapped at Irri, and Viserion had set Reznak’s tokar ablaze the last time the seneschal had called. I have left them too much to themselves, but where am I to find the time for them?


It’s interesting that the first Jon POV starts with him warged into Ghost but the funny thing about Jon chapters is George is really going to town with his death hints right from the start, with him constantly chanting Maester Aemon’s advise in his head, “Kill the boy” and saying “Ghost is more alive than I am.” *wink* because he’ll warg into Ghost post death… If it’s not obvious then there’s this prediction Melisandre casually drops on him :

Melisandre’s red lips curled into a smile. “I have seen you in my fires, Jon Snow.”
“Is that a threat, my lady? Do you mean to burn me too?”
“You mistake my meaning.” She gave him a searching look. “I fear that I make you uneasy, Lord Snow.”
Jon did not deny it. “The Wall is no place for a woman.”
“You are wrong. I have dreamed of your Wall, Jon Snow. Great was the lore that raised it, and great the spells locked beneath its ice. We walk beneath one of the hinges of the world.” Melisandre gazed up at it, her breath a warm moist cloud in the air. “This is my place as it is yours, and soon enough you may have grave need of me. Do not refuse my friendship, Jon. I have seen you in the storm, hard-pressed, with enemies on every side. You have so many enemies. Shall I tell you their names?”
“I know their names.”
“Do not be so certain.” The ruby at Melisandre’s throat gleamed red. “It is not the foes who curse you to your face that you must fear, but those who smile when you are looking and sharpen their knives when you turn your back. You would do well to keep your wolf close beside you. Ice, I see, and daggers in the dark. Blood frozen red and hard, and naked steel. It was very cold.”
“It is always cold on the Wall.”
“You think so?”
“I know so, my lady.”
“Then you know nothing, Jon Snow,” she whispered.

Wow she really has a weird way of flirting and if it’s still not clear than the prologue of the book is the death of a random wildling warg named Varamyr who wargs into a wolf after his death. 

“When the man’s flesh dies, his spirit lives on inside the beast, but every day his memory fades, and the beast becomes a little less a warg, a little more a wolf, until nothing of the man is left and only the beast remains.”

So this guy tries to warg into a human before dying but the person really puts up a fight and it seems like this warg’s spirit is expelled in a very trippy way before it finds a wolf to warg into… It’s a good passage if you’re curious about what’ll happen to Jon after his death…

The white world turned and fell away. For a moment it was as if he were inside the weirwood, gazing out through carved red eyes as a dying dying man twitched feebly on the ground and a madwoman danced blind and bloody underneath the moon, weeping red tears and ripping at her clothes. Then both were gone and he was rising, melting, his spirit borne on some cold wind. He was in the snow and in the clouds, he was a sparrow, a squirrel, an oak. A horned owl flew silently between his trees, hunting a hare; Varamyr was inside the owl, inside the hare, inside the trees. Deep below the frozen ground, earthworms burrowed blindly in the dark, and he was them as well. I am the wood, and everything that’s in it, he thought, exulting. A hundred ravens took to the air, cawing as they felt him pass. A great elk trumpeted, unsettling the children clinging to his back. A sleeping direwolf raised his head to snarl at empty air. Before their hearts could beat again he had passed on, searching for his own, for One Eye, Sly, and Stalker, for his pack. His wolves would save him, he told himself.

That was his last thought as a man.

True death came suddenly; he felt a shock of cold, as if he had been plunged into the icy waters of a frozen lake. Then he found himself rushing over moonlit snows with his packmates close behind him.

HEART OF GOLD

*sun is how you think, moon is how you feel, venus is how you love*

Aries The Velocity. When you’re with her, her heart pumps adrenaline straight into your veins. She is the arms you fall into when the rush becomes too much. You never knew someone with such a hard head could have a heart this soft. She’ll light you on fire until you get used to the burn, until her jarring touch is as soft as feathers. And she will help you up every time, you take her hand and it’s like being in a freefall but it’s okay because you’re not alone. What she want’s deep down is someone who can run wild with her. You lose her the moment you try to control her. Don’t. Just enjoy the ride, for it’s one of a kind.

Taurus The Mystic. She is the vivacity of the living, the one who defies gravity. Her heart floating around her body makes you believe in magic. The kind everyone wants to experience. She pops her gum and tells you to put your money where your mouth is. So you rip your chest open, the blood of your beating heart splattering onto her lips. She cradles you in her arms, your worship inducing a heartfelt laughter that echoes through the vertigo of your final moment. “You did good.” she whispers, and at last you are at peace.

Gemini The Dandelion, her soaring heart tied to a string. She’ll rock you ultra slowly until you feel you could fade away into nothing, and live forever amongst the clouds. She demands you show her everything you have to give, before she even much as gives you a smile. The quest for her heart is for only the brave. She doesn’t mind what people say, the one who she calls hers has to be unyielding. So she won’t feel so liquid all the time.

Cancer The Lighthouse. Her satin heart is safely kept, for the one who will finally be worthy. But for now she will dance, she will dance with every angel until she finds the one with the shy smile and the softest curls. At night she tells the Moon all her secrets, and now she has a secret that makes her bones shiver and her lips tremble. She loves you, I promise. Just ask the Moon.

Leo Her heart is a cup overflowing with all things lovely, filling the hearts of others as easily as she fills her own. The Fountain of Youth. Hope, lust, tenderness. You can’t help but look at her in awe and think, “I am. Because of you.” The fear you try so hard to ignore is because she doesn’t need to prove her worthiness to anyone, you’re worried that someday she won’t need you. But if she loves you, you don’t need to be afraid. She will be with you when the world ends.

Virgo The Goddess. Her heart is a forest, full of life and mystery. She brings my soul to harmony in return for the respect she rightfully deserves. She cares for her world with everything she has, believing in the pure radiance of the noble hearted. Many might mistake her benevolence for weakness. However when she finds a bad seed, let’s just say nature can be a cruel master. After all she is the source of life and will not be exploited by the greedy. But to those who love with an open heart she gifts the vitality of spirit, and the liberation of the metaphysical mind.

Libra Her slow heartbeat echoes as it pulses against your palm, right through your bloodstream. She licks her lips and sways her hips to the rhythm. The Delilah. You cross your heart and close your eyes. “Open.” she whispers, and the cosmos had swallowed the pool table and barflies of the roadside dive. All you hear is her soft giggle and ocean waves crashing in slow motion. “Welcome to Eden.” You look around you, and you notice your blood isn’t vibrating anymore. You ask her how she found this place. She gently shakes her head with a smile on her lips and says, “Darling, you’re inside of me.”

Scorpio The Red Winged Angel, always under my skin. The beat of your heart vibrating through my system and I’m afraid that if you touch me I will shatter to a million pieces. Late at night I dream of finding someone as sensuelle as you. Sometimes I wonder how many hearts you own, even though I can’t quit you. I don’t know what I am addicted to more, your touch or the fact that you could disintegrate the earth from underneath me if you wanted to.

Sagittarius The Honeymoon. The fast moving gal who likes them slow. If you want her heart take her for a night drive. Show her the world through your eyes. Make her feel something she’s never felt before. Free yourself from the malevolent, open your chest and breathe her in. Give her the part of you that makes you human, and she will turn you into something ethereal.  

Capricorn The Empress. Class and a pure heart, and the international woman of mystery. And even though games don’t interest her, that don’t mean she doesn’t know how to play. No one does it like her. It’s almost painful how she works you, heightening all your senses with perfect impulse control. Engage at your own risk, because she will make you miss her more than anyone you’ve ever met. But if you want to love her, she’ll hold you down for life in hazy love daydream.

Aquarius I’ve seen her in my fantasies. The Extraterrestrial. She’ll waltz right into your love sphere like she owns the place, utterly unignorable. And then she’ll smile, like she has no fucking idea. And you wonder if she really doesn’t. She goes around granting all your wishes and you wonder, why she gives you the world but won’t let you feel her heart. And she will never tell you, because feelings are hard for robot girls. She is afraid she’s too cold inside. What she doesn’t realize is she loves enough for the entire universe, she is too busy electrifying other dimensions into existence. One day she’ll come back down to earth and see everyone around her on their knees.

Pisces She is the light that shines through the night. The Clair de Lune. You fall into her plush essence and she lets you, like a bug stuck in her amber heart. And you think how every moment of your life has brought you closer to this, to her. You finally understand the beauty of minimalism. Not every star needs to be possessed. Not every silence has to be filled. The most important things are the ones you can’t see with your eyes. Live for this. For the feeling.

Nothing More [ I ]

Genre [Rating] : Angst

Length: 6.8k

Pairing: Baekhyun x Reader

Summary: Watching the man you love love someone else was the most painful feeling in the world.

Nothing More Masterlist

Originally posted by progamerbyun

The rain fell just loud enough for you to hear, the skies a beautiful but somber grey and the world feeling otherwise silent. The birds weren’t chirping. The neighborhood seemed empty. It was just you. You and your empty apartment and your thoughts. The all consuming thoughts that made the silence seem so loud. His voice just kept replaying in your head, like the soundtrack to the otherwise quiet moment.

“I think she’s the one.”

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My Way - Chapter 01

Description: Jungkook doesn’t appreciate your boyfriend’s insistence that he stop sleeping with you and he knows just how to prove that you like it his way.

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Smut, some underlying angst

Word Count: 9,324

Warnings: Fuckboy!Jungkook, Dom!Jungkook, infidelity, rough sex, thigh riding, very light breath play, gratuitous and shamelessly self-indulgent bragging via sext

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R E A D Y F O R I T: is a more of a warning than a question. a sign of things to come. a simple warning shot before the gunfight. to let you know that something is about to happen. telling you to prepare yourself. it’s just the beginning in the over all story. 

E N D G A M E: is for the lovers who, despite the odds, believe they can make it through this crazy game called life. it’s wanting to break your reputation of bad endings and make this be the one that lasts forever. it’s adrenaline rushes and planning your whole life out with someone. 

I D I D S O M E T H I N G B A D: is for all the witches they were unsuccessful at burning. it’s lit fireworks crackling in your rib-cage and fiddling with the laces of your warn out combat boots and already ripped fishnets and applying perfectly winged eyeliner without trying and bright red lipstick to match the blood of your enemies.

D O N T B L A M E M E: is for the passionate, reckless, fearless lovers. the ones who fall in love without hesitation and without permission. they dive in head first without looking back. they don’t care if it makes them seem crazy because they would rather be crazily, passionately in love than live an indifferent and emotionless life. it’s for when you find that one person you would risk everything for. 

D E L I C A T E: is for the doubt that takes residence in your head and in your heart when you finally get the courage to dust yourself off and fall for someone new after you got your heart broken. it’s terrifying and temporary and fragile and beautiful because it’s fleeting. it can never last forever, or so you have been led to believe. it’s for the cautious dreamers. the damaged lovers who have been left for dead too many times to count. 

L O O K W H A T Y O U M A D E M E D O: is for the defeating moment when you finally take the blame just to ease the heat. it’s for when every one thinks that they finally buried you but like a phoenix, you rise from the ashes reborn. it’s taking a lighter and burning every thing to the ground. it’s finding out just how good revenge can feel. 

S O I T G O E S: is nights at bars and restaurants and films and parties and weekends that you know can’t possibly last forever. it’s silk dresses and high heels and smudged lipstick and scratches on your lovers back. it’s cashmere jumpers and messy hair and dark circles beneath your eyes because lately life has been so freeing, sleeping seems like a waste of time. 

G O R G E O U S: is for the endless summer nights and repeatedly making eye contact with the stranger across the bar. it’s starry eyes, rosy cheeks, and quiet seduction. it’s drinks in blues and pinks and tiny cocktail umbrellas and having so many you quit counting. it’s finding someone so physically flawless you can’t help but hate them, simply because you can’t have them. 

G E T A W A Y C A R: is for all of the lovers on the run from all of their past mistakes and rebounds. it’s for when they find someone with similar baggage and decide to find distraction in each other. it’s for seeking a fresh new start. it’s secretly kissing in diner booths, holding hands under the table, and kissing each other with recklessness on your lips. it’s knowing that this is temporary, but that’s what you love about it.

K I N G O F M Y H E A R T: for the boys and girls who make a key to their heart and give it to each other. it’s the truth and vulnerability one must have to be able to do that. it’s for the five am rooftop conversations. it’s getting dressed up just to dance with each other around the living room. 

D A N C I N G W I T H O U R H A N D S T I E D: it’s nights spent dancing with each other around the house. it’s lips that taste like safety, and that’s something you haven’t had in so long you’ve forgotten what it taste like. It’s the drop of your stomach just before you jump. This is for the desperate but hopeful lovers. 

D R E S S: is his drink in your hair, on your lips, in your hands. it’s crumpled bed sheets. it’s when the sun rises in the morning and your eyes meet the same sleeping lover beside you. it’s lace bra-lets and knee-high boots. 

W H Y W E C A N T H A V E N I C E T H I N G S: is for when the hurt and betrayed turn into the unforgiving and unafraid. it’s when your mouth is filled with unforgiving teeth. it’s reaching a point of anger, you can’t help but burst into laughter. you can’t help but joke about the whole thing. it’s shards of broken glass and anger to the point of apathy. 

C A L L I T W H A T Y O U W A N T: is for the lovers who find comfort and validation in one another. they don’t have anything to prove. it’s hand written lovers and blankets under covers. grinning from ear to ear alone in your room. the promise of something bigger than this. a taste of forever. it’s cups of tea in the morning and wine at night. it’s the kind of love that could inspire classic romance novels. 

N E W Y E A R S D A Y: is for when every one else has gone home and you are the only two remaining. when the party is over, but the best part of the night has yet to come. it’s time standing still when it’s just you two. it’s air kissed curls and deep two in the morning conversations on kitchen counters. it’s wanting to stay forevermore. 

All I’ve got II pt. 1

Jungkook x reader

genre: tattooed!jungkook, badboy!jungkook, angst, contents of smut, violent actions, slight fluff

word count: 12.1k


Jeon Jungkook was a tall guy, handsome with all those ethereal artwork tattooed on his arms..and your best friend. He was by your side whereas you faced a painful heartbreak, caressing your hurt soul for as long as you needed him. But how much can a friendship withstand if one of the two develops feelings?

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The Last Jedi Trailer Breakdown

* Please note that the following breakdown contains some potential spoilers for the movie - they’re mostly based on inferences and rumours, but you probably want to skip this post entirely if you’re spoiler-averse. *

I’m exhausted (I woke up way too early to watch that trailer!), but I knew I couldn’t rest until I had done this. There is so much to unpack here, so you’ll have to excuse me for omitting some things (mainly space battles) and skimming over others. 

I’m sure I’m wrong with a good chunk of this, but this is all meant in good fun.

I hope you enjoy my first stab at breaking this baby down - if you think it can be improved or spot anything that needs to be corrected, please let me know.

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Prodigy - Teacher AU

“Could you just close the door and come over here? You have no reason to rush out, I didn’t post your grade. I want to discuss it in person.”

You swallowed hard at his words but did as you were told, closing the classroom door and going over to his desk. He was looking through the stack of students’ sketchbooks on his desk, presumably for your own. He pulled one of of the stack and laid it in the middle of his desk, and you froze. 

You could feel all color draining from your face once you noticed which sketchbook he had pulled out of the pile. There was a Hello Kitty sticker stuck to the top right corner of it, indicating it was your sketchbook.

Your personal sketchbook.

word count: 10.1k

genre: fluff & smut (a lot of soft/domestic stuff, concludes w smut)

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Nothing More [ II ]

Genre [Rating] : Angst

Length: 11.1k

Pairing: Baekhyun x Reader

Summary: Watching the man you love love someone else was the most painful feeling in the world.

Nothing More Masterlist

Originally posted by sefuns

A broken heart was a nuisance, an annoying leech that sucked the life out of you every moment you paused to think about the pain it was spreading through your limbs. Every second you spent with your mind not occupied you wanted to scream and cry. It felt like your emotions were burning embers and anytime you paused to give it oxygen the fire would grow and consume you til you were nothing but ashes.

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BTS In Bed Part II (Based on Their Lilith and Eros Signs) - Maknae Line

warning: mature content ahead

Part I one can be found here!

As an introduction, Lilith and Eros are two key placements to look at when trying to explore someone’s sexuality through astrology. Black Moon Lilith illuminates the dark side of your sexuality, and reveals one’s desires, fantasies, and kinks. Eros is an asteroid that encompasses one’s deepest passions and wants.

Jimin - Pisces Eros, Cancer Lilith

  • both of these placements, along others in his chart, indicate a lover who places a lot of value on having an emotional connection with his partner
  • the way into his pants is through his heart
  • first let’s explore his pisces eros
  • a very sensual placement
  • more than any of sign, eros in pisces is looking for not only a partner but a soulmate
  • for them sex is another way to become closer with their partner; a binding of two souls
  • craves intimacy and romance
  • the phrase they want to hear the most is “i love you
  • love tender touches, roaming kisses, whispered sweet words
  • body worship
  • eye contact, hand holding
  • all the cheesiness
  • need a romantic atmosphere to get in the mood
  • a giver
  • gains pleasure from pleasuring his partner
  • feels most comfortable with someone vocal who expresses their pleasure
  • “does that feel good baby? tell daddy how much you like it”
  • they have wild imaginations and many sexual fantasies
  • open to trying anything in bed
  • he’d have a new toy or idea to try out every night
  • they go out of their way to please and are adaptable to different partners
  • so i can see him being a dom, sub, and everything in between
  • that doesn’t mean they don’t have their preferences though, which in his case i believe is a dominant role
  • pisces often play the role of the care taker which reinforces my idea of him being open to the daddy kink
  • i believe his pisces eros in combination with his scorpio venus and mars make him an extremely intense and passionate partner
  • i’m sweating thinking about
  • now onto his cancer lilith
  • cancers are the sensitive souls of the zodiac
  • those with a lilith in cancer often ensnare their partners with a facade of innocence 
  • that hides their inner wickedness
  • they’re very emotional and vulnerable lovers 
  • that often struggle with insecurities and a fear of abandonment
  • so someone who reassures and praises him frequently would increase his sexual and overall confidence
  • has a lot of love in him and is very affection
  • sees sex as an art and is very skilled at it

Originally posted by jiminandjams

Taehyung - Aries Eros, Cancer Lilith

  • these placements, plus his aquarius venus, make for an adventurous and wild lover

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Wrapped

Summary: In which being wrapped in your arms is the only place Bucky ever wants to be.

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 1,363

A/N: Title of the fic and the fic itself are inspired by “Wrapped” by Gloria Estefan

Originally posted by rogers

Bucky thought he had seen all of the evil the world had to offer after the time he spent in captivity. Nothing, he thought, could compare to Hydra.

He was wrong.

Evil was everywhere. It was broadcast on the news throughout the course of the day. It was described online in horrific detail. It was talked about at water coolers, interspersed between tidbits of celebrity news and gossip. It was also hidden behind the scenes, in the hands of those who took advantage of their positions of power.

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Angel in the Darkness (M) pt. 8

Originally posted by aestheticvbts

Summary: After a patient urgently pleads you to go and help a friend of his, you naively agree to it. Little did you know, that you would get more than what you agreed to, when he leads you to a brothel, to help a dangerous prostitute named Jeon Jungkook.

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader (ft. Jin, but not romantically)

Word count: 6.5k

Genre: Smut (M), angst, mafia!au, prostitution!au

A/N:This is a dark and filthy story! Graphic descriptions of sex (oral, penetration, etc), heavy dom/sub undertones, drug use, vulgar language use… This is a mature read! You have been warned!

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7 | part 8 | part 9



“Again? Didn’t we already talk about this?” your mother scolded with a sigh, as you two entered your small apartment.

She had gotten a call from work at the rehab centre, that you had gotten into another fight with the kids at your school. And this became an alarming concern to her since this was the third time this month that you had fought with others.

“I didn’t mean too…” the nine-year-old you sniffled, as you shyed away from your mother’s harsh glare.

“Y/n this is the third time this month that your school has called me!” your mother exclaimed tiredly from the kitchen, getting ready to prepare dinner for the two of you.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered from your spot on the sofa, trying to withhold your tears. You knew your mother hated when you got into fights – you didn’t even like it either, but the kids always picked on you. You just wanted them to stop…

“You said you were sorry last time.”

“I know…” you mumbled in reply.

“Then why do you keep fighting?” she frustrated. “No matter what those kids say, you don’t put your hands on them.”

“But they wouldn’t stop!”

“Then tell the teacher-”

“They hit me first,” you interrupted. This caused your mother to pause in the middle of her footsteps.

“Why?” she asked in confusion.

“They just wouldn’t stop saying those horrible things, even though I begged them…”  you said as your tears started to fall.

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Mr. Min - Chapter 07

Description:  Your CEO caught your attention the first day you started your new job and it seems the attraction is mutual.  Too bad he’s only interested in a relationship that benefits him.

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader x Jungkook

Genre: Angst

Word Count: 13079

A/N: Originally this was only the first half of chapter 7 but I wanted to get something out for you guys so I decided to split it. I hope it was worth the wait. :)

PlaylistPrologue - Ch 01Ch 02 - Ch 03 - Ch 04 - Ch 05 - Ch 06 - Ch 07

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Lust & Errors 05

Rated: M

Warning: Excessive graphic smut, age gap, recreational drug use, angst, slight dub-con.

Summary: Step brother, fuck buddy… They were one and the same now. But what started out as some mindless fucking game, quickly turns into something much more difficult and complex.

Note: well, well, well…. look what the fuck it is. lol this was over 25k but i removed an entire scene because it completely threw off the flow and i wasn’t happy with it but here’s 19k anyways :))))

Words: 19.7k

01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05.



Seven twenty-three.

The clock taunted you, reminding you that this god foresaken party had hours left to go.

Amongst all of the sharp-dressed men and elegant women, you were the only young person in the vincity, no one being under the age of thirty five. It was awkward and boring because you literally had no one to talk to, on a casual-level that was.

Jimin would usually come to the parties just to save you from dying of bordem, but he had other plans tonight. Like almost every teenager on a Friday night, save for your stupid self.

Slowly, you made your way to the staircase and looked around, checking to see if anyone was paying any attention to you so they wouldn’t call out or question your departure. After failing to notice anyone paying attention, you sneakily made your way up the stairs - to your freedom.

On the way up, you couldn’t help but to feel like you were being watched, eyes trained on your back, but you figured it was just paranoia and continued upwards with quick steps.

Tonight your father was hosting one of the parties for his work, which at one point in time used to be glamarous in your eyes. Back when your mother was still alive, you looked forward to the parties because you and her always went shopping for new dresses and got your hair done, pampered yourselves for the special occasion.

Now, they were simply boring and quite honestly inconvenient.

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Counting Orgasms

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

Type: Smut, overstimulation, multiple orgasms

Plot: You learn your lesson, a lesson about never lying. To never lie about how good your boyfriend is in bed.

Originally posted by wonhobe

I couldn’t do it. Desperate moans, fingers working vociferously at my clit. Images of my boyfriend painted in my mind. I just could not do it. No matter what I tried. A bath, a sexy movie, listening to my boyfriend’s music. Nothing worked better than his touch. And he deprived me of it recently. I just couldn’t cum without him.

I was driven mad by this. Entirely desperate for such an unobtainable release. I knew he was the only one whom could grant this, and I resented him so much for denying it. Sure, he was busy. But how busy can a man be to deprive his girlfriend of her own basic needs? I needed to vent before a fight brewed. So, I did just that.

“Y/N… Why don’t you just talk to him about it?” My best friend confided in me. We were face timing, and I was begging for a solution to such a peculiar problem.

My eyes widened, “No! Are you kidding! If I were to talk to him about this he would just write me off as being horny and annoying, not sexy and needy.”  I snapped suddenly at my friend, my own sexual tension, and frustration beginning to escape through words.

Her eyes stared at me for a moment, a smile erupting on her face, “You are so sexually frustrated Y/N.” She exclaimed, laughing to the point of tears welling in her eyes.

I rolled your eyes, finding a small laugh bubbling up within you due to hearing her’s. I sighed, “It’s not funny, okay? He hasn’t done anything with me for, like, 2 weeks. I’m dying over here.” I whined, pouting at the joke of it.

My friend snickered, “Is it because you can’t get him up anymore?” She asked deviously, making me gasp immediately.

“What? No! That’s not it at all!” I defended myself, taken aback by her question. I had wondered about this for the past 2 weeks, but soon enough came to the conclusion that it wasn’t my fault, but rather his.

“Then why on earth would your boyfriend not want to fuck you?” My friend challenged, wiggling her eyebrows. I laughed with her at this, shrugging my shoulders.

“I don’t know… He says he’s busy but when he is home he doesn’t do anything. I’ve been trying so damn hard. It feels like he doesn’t want me.” I relished in my own pity party, a frown overtaking my expression.

“Aww, Y/N… I’m sure it’s not your fault! You’re beautiful, okay? I bet he just feels awkward because he knows he isn’t fucking you right.” At this, I laughed. I laughed so hard that I snorted, catching both me and my friend by surprise.

“Come on though, Y/N… Spill it, he isn’t good in bed, is he? Because if he was, he’d be fucking you every night. Hell, if I were gay I would too.” My friend announced, making my laughter never cease to give up, “Come on! Just admit it.” She egged on.

“Okay, okay. I mean, the last time we did anything he couldn’t even make me cum.” I chimed in. My friend’s eyes lit up at this, “I knew it! He can’t make you cum, can he?” She exclaimed.

I went with the sarcasm of the situation and nodded, laughing with her, “Nope. He can’t.” I lied, making her raise her fists and cheer, “I knew it!”

“I can’t?” Yoongi’s voice cut through the happy aura of the environment, my friend going silent, holding back laughter from the awkward situation.

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Hey guys! I’ve told you before that I’m a writer so this is a hella long post because it’s track-by-track. Unapologetically so. Hope you guys enjoy x 

TRACK 1: “… READY FOR IT?

 This song is a battlecry. The thumping bass brings to mind the heavy thud of wolves paws as they race towards their prey, seeking the trail left by a girl who used to leave her heart open and on her sleeve, ready to be snatched at any moment in a snap of their jaws. But no more. From the moment she clears her throat, we learn this battle will be on Taylor’s terms. It is her fight to win.

This is the first love song she’s released and had complete artistic ownership of in three years. It is no coincidence then that there’s reference to the tortured passions of Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton. They were a couple hopelessly and dangerously in love with many scars carved on their hearts by the other’s knife. This reference is a throwaway to the long list of ex lovers the girl who bathes in diamonds has had but also a reference to the flickers of hope Taylor feels for longevity no matter what with Joe. Their road may be complicated at times but they will get  there because the game is hers. The constant question of ready for it and in response baby let the games begin is so obviously a call of warning to Joe for what lies ahead but perhaps more subtly it is the call of Taylor’s inner voices and heart to her razor sharp self awareness. Is she ready for the games to begin? Is she ready to open her heart and give Joe a chance to be a better man?

TRACK 2: “END GAME” ft. Ed Sheeran & Future:

This song starts off with Taylor’s declaration that she wants to find a forever. It sounds sincere, gentle, wearied, the tone of the too often heartbroken. But then it shifts, it’s like the rose coloured glasses have come off and she’s reminded of her reputation. Then it’s all tongue in cheek sarcastic satire to keep the smile in place so that we don’t see how much it hurts. She has to weigh up every interaction in the context of her reputation. The addition of Ed & Future speaks volumes; one is a time trusted friend who has finally found a bright love of his own but that was not without heartbreak and the other gives her an edgier attitude that makes her self awareness all the more powerful.

There has been a further loss of innocence in this sharpening of her self awareness, gone are the wistful days of “say you’ll remember me”, that’s all I want. Now it’s all “I don’t wanna touch you, I don’t wanna be just another ex love you don’t wanna see.” She can see the fall right from the start but this time she opts out and says unless I’m your end game… because I don’t want to pick up any more pieces of my broken heart.

Also: Shoutout to Ed for his Cherry inspired verse. It made me feel many emotions too. SWEERAN THRIVES.

TRACK 3: “I DID SOMETHING BAD.”

The girl with the long list of ex lovers is back. However with the casually explicit twist, this narrative seems layered with perceptions and recognition of self-worth, “If a man talks shit, I owe him nothing.” This is drip-feeding the media exactly what they want, she’s stoking the fire herself. But in feeding the fire herself, she’s sending the burning embers back at them. Did you really think the girl who you used as an international rod for slut shaming would stay quiet forever? Nope. She doesn’t care if you burn her like a witch at the stake because she’s already done it. She’s burnt away all of the misplaced guilt and is now revelling in how good they felt in the moment. In fact, watch out she’s blazing with all the fire of a phoenix reborn and you might just get turned to ash.

TRACK 4: “DON’T BLAME ME.”

This & “I Did Something Bad” sound like sister tracks. The girl who jetsets around the world collecting men isn’t quite finished with her tale yet. She reminds us that defining her relationships by their headlines and paparazzi shots is a foolish move because those things are  one-dimensional. Taylor believes in love and this is her way of reminding us that there was love in every escapade of her heart up until now, at least at some point. She’s talking about the heady rushes head spinning intoxication of first glances and hands on skin and it doesn’t matter what the media says about the way she handles relationships because they forget love and that makes you crazy. Maybe in their minds the drug she refers to is not a singular identity but a collective “baby” and to them love will always be something she “uses”. But the heart wants what it wants and Taylor knows that so it doesn’t really matter.

TRACK 5: “DELICATE.”

This is the kind of song that happens when you cut the cord that is the boy crazy perception of yourself. You step back into the shadows and disappear so that they can’t find you. You close your heart, lock your doors and rebuild. And then he shows up. This is a cautionary songpp because Taylor can obviously feel sparks but… she’s just started to rebuild and if they find out the wolf hunt begins again. With delicate disbelieving vocals, we see Taylor start to realise that he can’t possibly want to gain anything from her reputation because it’s so bad… The wheels turn in her head. I imagine the realisation, “Wait so he must like me for me?” With the beat drop comes hope. Details are slowly given and then he stays. He doesn’t run so Taylor gives him pieces of herself; confessions thoughts and then her brain catches up with her mouth and the wheels come to a grinding halt: Her inner monologue screams it was too much too fast. We’ve all been there. It’s too delicate. No going back now. It’ll break and I’ll be left alone. Maybe one day I’ll find someone who doesn’t walk away, one day too.

TRACK 6: “LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO.”

The world tore a girl to shreds, made her play the fool on tilted stages. She retreated and rebuilt. Now the fool is dead. From here on out, she only trusts her army. With high heeled boots, red lips and words as sharp as daggers, she’s cutting herself a path. She is taking no prisoners and she’s accompanied by a savage snake because she and her army will always be better at the game. When she’s finished hunting down your asses, she’ll sit back on her throne with a high pitched giggle and say, “oh look what you made me do.”

TRACK 7:  “SO IT GOES…”

When people are watching, you have to be careful. Cover your tracks. Taylor doesn’t leave her heart open or on display anymore. But then they leave. The door shuts. You lock it with a key and the crashing chemistry you’ve been trying to deny slams into your ribs, knocking the breath out of you. It’s stolen kisses, careless touches, reckless chasing of the high. Body language is a fluency all its own. But a quick reminder before you unlock the door and venture out again; wash the lipstick off your face. *clears throat* you got a little caught up in the moment and you don’t want to blow your cover!

TRACK 8: “GORGEOUS.”

 The childish proclamation of the title to begin this next glimpse into Reputation  is hinting at the satirical inner monologue that this song is , reminiscent of the times you write your crush’s  last name instead of your own to see how it fits. It’s all giggles and late night phone calls, the kind Taylor most likely had with Abigail where they talked real slow because it was late and their mamas didn’t know (: However, it could also serve as a projection of the runaway daydream that fills Taylor’s mind from that very first night when she stumbles home alone to her cats, of what a possible future might look like (with kids one day) The lazy liquor loosened rhythms of Taylor’s thoughts tell us things she hasn’t admitted fully yet but will soon on nights at 4am staring at her reflection  in the bathroom mirror, telling herself the bravest thing she ever did was run - that this gorgeous  swoonworthy British boy with his careless touches and drawling accent has awakened the possibility of something better. This realisation rattles Taylor as she contemplates the gaps in her current relationship. *cue wistful sighs of frustration and enchantment, set to the dialogue of every teenage movie where the girl thinks the boy is just too good looking, how unfair is that?

TRACK 9: “GETAWAY CAR.”

The thing about any movie that has a getaway car scene is that they inevitably crash…. And that’s exactly what happens here. Except, the carnage is human hearts. She was running. There was a person she crashed into. It gets all blurred and tangled, she thinks she’s free but the thing about those movies is that the thing you ran from in the getaway car catches up to you particularly if there’s a track you can follow. Oceans of distance weren’t enough, darling. You needed to disappear. And I think she realises that  but she tries to pretend innocence and will the sunset closer. Unfortunately  the only real  way to untangle yourself is to disappear crying in the back of a getaway car in the dead of night. Without a word. That must have hurt a lot.

TRACK 10: “KING OF MY HEART.”

This song happens in tandem with Delicate. She’d sworn off love. Joe turned up. The British boy with the heart of gold who made his American queen believe. He made behind closed doors a paradise of rooftop nights. Before she knows it, he is every love story Taylor has ever daydreamed of. The line “is this the end to all the endings” made my heart swell because it’s clear Taylor hopes he’s the one. Please let there be no more heartbreak.

TRACK 11: “DANCING WITH OUR HANDS TIED.”

Dancing is supposed to be a joyous thing and maybe it was in the beginning. You can reassure with every beat. Sometimes your gut instinct shouldn’t be ignored though  because it does raise red flags. The door only needs to be fractionally ajar for the hunters to find a way in and set your paradise aflame. It sometimes doesn’t matter how much you dance to escape the flames, they will catch you. You will get tired. Dancing is a bliss that is euphoria swimmimg through your veins if the beat enters your bloodstream in the right moment; you feel like you could live forever. And in the end no matter how much it might hurt to walk away again, you would still dance for just another kick of that rush.

TRACK 12: “DRESS.”

Taylor’s caught up in the chemical rush. Every syllable drips with lust and the glory of the high when your hearts crash into each other, slamming the breath from between your ribs. It’s hands in hair and I don’t care what they think. It’s seeing the worst (hi bleachella) and still wanting. It’s realising you made mistakes before this and why didn’t you just do this from the beginning because it feels so good now you can’t ever have imagined wanting anything else. But every mistake is a marker in the roadmap and you woke up just in time to find where you needed to be.

TRACK 13: “THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS.”

I think everyone’s been in this situation, right? Someone burns you and it hurts but in the fun of a party, you click and connect again and it all starts to feel like water under the bridge. Maybe there was over-reacting happening. You throw them a second chance. Redemption. You’re the nice girl and you make excuses. But then they do it again, maybe it takes a couple of things and suddenly it’s too much. You lock the gate for your own safety. But they still expect you not to care. To flash a smile and forgive. I’m sorry. That’s not happening. You get hurt when I push back. I guess I should forgive you because we both threw stones. But… that would require me to mean it. Whoops, *laughs manaically* I can’t even say it with a straight face!!!

PS: It’s not too obvious I have personal experience with this song is it? Thanks KS x.

TRACK 14: “CALL IT WHAT YOU WANT.”

This song is difficult for me to process because I never thought it would actually happen. I seem to remember somewhere along the way, a couple of years back, Taylor expressing frustration that she couldn’t seem to write happy songs about being in love like Ed Sheeran could. Well, I wish you could go back Taylor and tell yourself what you know now.

This song is a three minute ode to happy love. It’s smiles so wide you might split your face in half at the thought of that person. It’s blushing and shy giggles and bursts of song and twirls and all caps texts from your girls as they collectively lose their minds over how happy you are. This is every love story and fairytale Taylor has ever wanted but the wolves are always waiting, not so easy to outrun. 

Taylor says it herself in the  opening lines. She was done. The castle had crumbled. The bricks left bruises blooming on her exposed skin. People were tearing her down and she was hurting. Her heart had been shattered but so had her soul, again and again, relentlessly. And then she retreated, went silent and rebuilt. What she didn’t count on was love. A man who saw all the bruises and broken pieces and said it’s OK, I can still find the real you under all that. Taylor like so many of us looked in the mirror and saw all the danger for herself and for Joe, tried to push him away, keep him safe. That’s a very noble action but breaking your own heart so it doesn’t hurt as much when you feel like the other shoe is going to drop requires apathy from the other person. And Joe, god bless you, you didn’t let her push you away. You broke down her walls and showed you that starlight love does still exist. You loved her for Taylor. The person. You got her to give love a chance when she swore never again so thank you so much for that. I can’t really express how much that means to all of us. 

 This is an anthem of hope for every person who has ever been broken and is in the process of putting pieces back together. It can be done. We will find love. We will be radiantly happy again. We will be the strongest we’ve ever been. 

PS: *leans over to whisper in Taylor’s ear*

I think you’re finally clean…

TRACK 15: “NEW YEARS DAY.”

Piano on the final track… This is an ode of pure hope and happiness, a fitting final chapter to a remarkable story. Everyone wants the glory of the midnights and the lover who will be in their bloodstream like the party. But what we all hope for is someone who stays long enough to help us clean up the bottles on New Years Day. Someone who makes us feel like the messy unfiltered parts look like a highlight reel. Good times and bad times and all in between. They won’t leave. You found him. Forever.

This album is fucking brilliant Taylor. I love you. Proud x.

@taylorswift @taylornation @brian-mansfield

The Wake of War

[AO3]

So.” Stiles drops back against the side of the Jeep, elbows braced and spine sinking slow against the dusty blue metal. Derek’s hovering a few feet away, at the edge of the lot, not quite ready to vanish into the night but not prepared to join with the rest of the group, either.

He needs their voices, maybe, to block out the ones in his head.

“Looks like I saved your ass again,” Stiles is saying, flashing him a crooked grin. He looks warm and bright like the rest of them, a glow of victory dancing around him that can’t quite seep into Derek’s bones. “What’s the count, now? ‘Cause I think I’m getting pretty close to earning a victory ride in that sweet new Camaro.”

Derek’s lips twitch, a snort slipping out.

“I seem to recall saving you last time.”

“Hey, we’ve been through this. At best, that was a tie.” Stiles looks so smug Derek can’t bring himself to argue, and maybe that’s the reason Stiles’ grin falls. His eyes go soft, flitting over Derek’s frame.

“I’m glad you’re ok, man. …I mean, as nice as it would have been to have my very own, hot guy lawn ornament––”

“Why did I look at her?”

He doesn’t mean to say it; flinches at his own words. His hands are too-tight fists he stretches straight with an effort, and when he looks at Stiles again the bright expression’s gone, replaced by tension and an edge of a grimace he’s trying to fight down.

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colossus-steppes  asked:

What was bad about Yooka-Laylee? I haven't played it myself, but from what I heard pre-release it seemed good. Did it turn out bad then?

yooka-laylee was a fucking ride

the game had this weird behind the scenes development first of all


the year was 2012, banjo nostalgia was at its peak, and had been for a couple years now. largely due to jontron

rare was a fucking mess, and still is, so there wasnt any hope for a new rare game that isnt some shovelware kinect bullshit (thanks microsoft)

just about everyone from the golden days of rare is is at different places. some at retro, some still at rare, some at gory detail, some just at random places. its a mess

but somehow, a few ex-rare devs got together, noticed how big banjo had gotten in recent years and decided to make a spiritual successor

iirc, jontron was actually a large reason why the game began development in the first place. he revived a lot of love for the bear and bird. he brought back a lot of love for rare in general actually.

i wanted to avoid bringing up jon, i really did, but that would be like not bringing up banjo. jon is too integral to the development of yooka, and banjo is the game yooka is ripping off

they were in regular contact with jon from what i remember. jon brought up the rare spiritual successor before anyone even knew it was a thing, before even the mingy jongo twitter was found. and of course grant kirkhope was on game grumps, and jon was offered a role on the game

the mingy jongo twitter is where things get odd. sometime in 2012, a twitter was found. it was all cryptic and shit, and named after a forgettable enemy from banjo-tooie. it was hyping up something, but no one knew what

it stopped updating for like a year, made a tweet about crashing, and was confirmed to be cancelled.

and then even later, mingy jongo made a tweet about rebooting, and changed the name to playtonic. the dumb arg bullshit was over, and we got a look at what the games visual style would be like

the kickstarter launched, it was super successful and spawned many imitators, but none nearly as successful as yooka

a hat in time was not one of those imitators, it was in development long before yooka

the game had promise to it. the game looked like a real return to the golden age of 3d platformers it looked fun, it looked like it had interesting and seemingly focused level design, it knew its roots and embraced it, but it still had its own identity, it had a team of industry veterans, now off their leash so they’re free to make a game how they want to make it. 

there was no doubt in our minds, this was going to be great. 

it was a really shitty time for 3d platformers. games were either AAA or indie. AAA were too focused on big action movie set-piece games aimed at people in their mid-20s, and indies didnt have the budget or experience to do 3d. so the genre was almost dead aside from the odd ratchet, sonic or mario game. but it wasnt enough, the genre was slowly dying. yooka needed to happen

we got some more gameplay, and it seemed good, but not great. it had its flaws but it was still early in development, things can only get better, right?

yooka-laylee was then revealed to be using the unity engine. a notably awful engine with an ungodly amount of problems that is only used by people because its cheap, so they can make meme games with it like whos your daddy or some donald trump game. but those are games that embrace the problems of unity

then we got the toybox demo.

we got to test out the controls around a very plain environment. it was essentially a playtest area. the controls were very off, and there was little tech. but the controls werent that bad.as long as they dont make the controls worse in any way, and the game has some tight level design, this can still be a great game.

also there was a little secret for getting everything in the demo and going somewhere specific, a secret that tells you to go somewhere and look for something in the final game. i’ll get back to that.

playtonic soon found a publisher for yooka-laylee to help with yooka. team17 of worms fame

the wii version of yooka-laylee was cancelled and playtonic said there wont be a switch version

we got some more proper gameplay of yooka showing off the capital cashino level

and my god

it

was

bad

really really really

bad

but it was just one level, it doesnt represent the whole game does it?

either way, some people were getting skeptical of the game by this point.


and then, the catalyst


community manager of team17, playtonics publisher was going on neogaf one day and saw the general consensus of jontron there was rather negative there. well jonno wasnt having any of that and demanded playtonic to remove jontron from the game

jonno zuckerberg’d jontron

and out of such a minor voice role too

what followed was a shitshow

because jon was such a major part to yooka’s history, naturally some people thought removing jon was an extremely backstabby move to make.

to many, this was the straw that broke the camels back. there were many red flags before, but this was a big one.

there were 3000 known refunds that followed. 

and thats just the refunds that went through, because playtonic or team17, most likely team17, actually denied most of the refunds, banned people asking how to refund it on steam, and called anyone refunding the game racist

playtonic also blocked a dude that offered a reasonable solution to the jontron solution on twitter

they were not handling this with grace

jon just kind of accepted that he wouldnt be in the game, if you’re wondering how he was taking his removal

around this time, i was thankful that i didnt kickstart it


so the game finally comes out and the reviews are divided. some people call it a masterpiece and everything bad about the game is supposed to be bad because n64 games didnt age well so this should play like an n64 game that didnt age well and they got everything promised to them

others called the game a rushed sloppy poorly designed mess with an insane amount of problems that cannot be overlooked

after the dust settled, the game has pretty much settled on a lukewarm 6/10 or 7/10 from most sites.

so how was the game really

horrible.

for a game made by developers with decades of experience under their belts, they learned nothing from any of the games they made, or others have made. every flaw that banjo had is not only in yooka, but a thousand times worse

everything we knew about the game pre-release was also worse

the tight level design? non-existent

the decent controls? ruined

the unique identity? gone

nothing of value remained. yooka-laylee is a husk of what was meant to be

the controls were made slipperier, and a stamina meter was added, so you cant go slightly fast for more than a couple seconds, and due to the massive empty levels, going fast is required if you dont want to go insane

the level design does not exist. things are just placed in areas without thought. the focus was on making the levels super big and placing the collectables in really obscure places. not even just the jiggy equivalents, but also the note-equivalents

but the bad controls and bad level design apparently werent enough. levels we had gimmicks that just complimented the absolute worst of the levels and controls. slippery dank caves full of pits, slippery ice levels

the world is barren and empty. there is nothing to do in it

the bosses are, well…
they’re walls. every last one of them is a wall that you fight. honest to god walls.

the camera is an abomination. i dont think i need to say anything that hasnt been said a thousand times already, its one of the worst things about the game, and that is a fucking low bar

the audio mixing is horrible, the chopper transformation grates on the ears, the grunting is far too loud and goes on for much longer than the grunting in banjo, making it extremely obnoxious and annoying

the game had a fucking quiz section that expects you to know every weird minor detail about the game, like really weird and obscure details no one playing the game casually would know, you would have to be obsessed with the game from the moment it was announced and pay close attention to everything no matter how minor to know any of the quiz’s answers. you need to answer 10 questions correctly in a row or else you’re sent to the beginning. and they throw this at you in the first world. i think they do it every world, actually but i could be wrong. they somehow took an interesting but a bit obnoxious part from banjo tooie and i think kazooie as well, and turned it into one of the biggest sins in any game i have ever seen

the loading times, while not bad, are INSANELY frequent, it breaks the flow of the game far too often

there were tons of glitches

enemies were sponges

the fucking mine cart sections were unbearable

frequent framerate issues (thanks unity)

all the minigames were complete trash

the fridge character is one of the worst things i have ever seen

there were seemingly nonsensical puzzles that dont give you any indication if you’re missing something required to beat it

the game stops introducing characters early on, and just recycles all the previous characters


so thats the bad of yooka, heres the good


the visuals look nice half the time, although the other half is unity fucking up the lighting because its a shit engine

the music is sometimes good

some of the character designs are nice


and thats about all i can really compliment the game on honestly

it’s a mess and one of the biggest disappointments i have ever played. it wasnt even worth pirating


you wanna know what jontrons role would have even been? making farting sounds for a toilet character. they shot themselves in the foot over a youtuber voicing a toilet


oh and do you remember that little secret from the toybox i mentioned

well if you go to where you were told, you’ll find a little scene with a robot

it’ll basically say something is 50% complete

and thats it

no secret alternate costume, no unlockable power, no item that lets you find collectables, no nothing. just some dumb secret teasing a potential sequel

that was somehow the most infuriating part about the game, and perfectly sums up yooka-laylee


its a bad fucking game


sorry for any spelling mistakes, but its 3am and this is a massive wall of text