and it was good but this one took the cake

Kitchen Counter (M)

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader
Genre: Smut.
Word count: 2.4k

Part two: Laundry Room. Part three: The Club.

Summary: “Baby, we’re in your parents’ kitchen.” You muttered, squeaking softly, trying to push his arm away with both of your hands, but he just kept pressing those fingers into your core. “That’s what makes it so naughty.” He whispered against your neck before his mouth wound up back against yours.


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Closet Softie

Or, How Bucky Barnes Nearly Ruined His Tough-Guy Rep

(On AO3)


The trail mix was gone. 

The nice, expensive trail mix, with twelve kinds of nuts and the big sunflower seeds and dried fruits, the kind Tony only rarely left sitting on the common floors for everyone to get at, was gone. 

Clint had been looking forward to that stuff all morning

All the way through a hellish morning “jog” with Steve, all through Nat handing him his ass on the training mats, all through firing the same batch of misweighted arrows over and over so Tony could take scans and fix the design, he’d been thinking, when this is done I get to go upstairs and hang out on the couch and watch Dog Cops and eat the good trail mix, guilt-free. 

And it was gone.

Clint was gonna shoot somebody.

Just as soon as he figured out who’d taken the trail mix.


kingofmemes posted:

yesterday i saw a sad duck in the park who kept getting picked on by the other ducks so today i brought some trail mix and we had a nice lunch together. also i think he might be the duck who pooped on sam last week. if so, he is officially my new best friend. 

Posted at 3:29 PM, 24379 notes

(Read More Below)


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Jin stole TWO army bombs tonight at two separate times, I hope this means he was having a blast

@writing-prompt-s - Voila! Another birthday cake to add to your collection. ;)


Prompt Guy opened up his Tumblr, but – even after scrolling through his dash –there wasn’t a cake to be seen. He was disappointed; after all, he had been holding high expectations of this day (mainly, of finally getting his much-deserved cake).

Not a minute later, however, a knock came at his door. Insistent, as if they had something to share - and urgent! Then the doorbell rang. Confused, Prompt Guy got up from his rather comfortable seat and made his way towards the door. He had not anticipated company today. During the time it took to get to the exit, more knocks came upon the wooden door and more rings from the doorbell sounded throughout the house. Eventually, Prompt Guy reached the door, unlocked it, and pulled it swiftly open.

There, as if a parade’s final destination was his doorstep and each member had been carrying baked goods before taking off, was a long line of cakes – tall cakes, short cakes, round cakes, cupcakes, good cakes, bad cakes, but cakes nonetheless. No one was there waiting with all the caked, but it was clear what just happened nonetheless:

Followers.

“Just play the damn game with me !” - Batmom x Damian

Damian is a brat, but I kinda want to hug him to death…Wait…Oh well, anyway, here’s a little story where Batmom (you) really wants to bond with the kid.

(My master list, by the way : Right here )

_____________________________________________________________________

You had gotten it printed into your brain. It was too late now, you couldn’t forget your idea, no matter what. Bruce knew, and didn’t try to stop you from doing what you were gonna do anyway. Besides, he thought it was cute.

What was your idea ? Simple. Damian never had a normal childhood. He was still a kid, only eleven…So he still had a chance at having somewhat of a normal childhood (if you put his nightly activities on the side…and the fact that he had been raised to be a killer).

Against all odds, you and Damian clicked pretty fast. He warmed up to you the fastest…He felt like you were the only one of the bat family not judging him in any way.  Also, you told him off when he was going to far, and he found that he couldn’t speak badly to you, that you had an effect on him that made him want to be nicer. Better…In a word, you quickly became his mommy.

He never really had an actual mother. Talia wasn’t exactly loving with him, and she did try to kill him a few times, succeeding once (a memory you don’t like to remember). You were the first one, even before Bruce or Dick, to make him feel loved and to make him feel what love really was…How could he resist that ?

The first time he called you “mom”, not “mother”, “mom”, you cried, and the poor boy thought he did something wrong. You explained to him that it was “happy tears”, but you’re not sure he understood. He gave you an awkward hug, and you couldn’t stop but smile. It’s that exact moment that forged the idea of trying to show him what a normal childhood was. But, even though he considered you his mom, he wasn’t going to make things easy for you and your plans.

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BTS Reaction to Their Bestfriend Accidently Confessing to Them; Jungkook Version

Originally posted by officialwookkibby

Word Count: 1,179

“Y/N! C'mon, hurry up! You move like an old lady!” Jungkook whined as you slowly got out of your car, checking and making sure that you had everything that you needed.

“Jungkook, the fair isn’t going anywhere.” you teased like a mother would to her child. Jungkook held open your door impatiently, hopping slightly from excitement. When your butt was finally out of the car, Jungkook slammed the door shut, grabbed your hand, and dragged you off to the entrance of the fair with a large smile on his face.

“I know, but I wanna go and spend as much time with you as possible!” he said, happily skipping into the fairgrounds with you trying to keep up from behind.

You chuckled and shook your head, gazing at his backside with a certain longing in your eyes. You and Jungkook had met that same year at university, in your intro to psychology class. You sat in the back of the lecture hall, since you arrived late and didn’t want to be scolded by your professor for tardiness on the first day. Jungkook sat four seats down to your left, obviously, he hadn’t woken up to his alarm either.

Your relationship went from shy smiles, to throwing notes over the empty seats, to him sitting next to you with your knees brushing and up to your best friend status that you proudly held today. However, you couldn’t deny the attraction you had for your adorable, yet cocky best friend and oh how you wish you could just tell him how you felt. For now, though, you were happy being one of his closest friends; supporting him through his studies and his dream of becoming a singer.

You took in the smells of the fair; powdered sugar, fry oil, and something buttery and fattening that made your mouth water. Jungkook’s eyes shined with excitement as he led you to a funnel cake booth, buying you both one to share as you wandered into the petting zoo area, sneaking the baby animals bits of your fried, sugary goodness.

“Hey look, I found your dapple gangers.” you teased when you ran over to the hordes of bunnies. Jungkook just stuck his tongue out at you, but cooed none the less when one of the rabbits crawled into his lap. As you were petting the bunnies, Jungkook gently grabbed your hand, locking your fingers together with his. You looked up at him and saw that he had a slight blush on his cheeks and another bunny perched on his shoulder, making you giggle at his cuteness.

“You alright Kookie? You’re looking flushed.” you asked, running your free hand over his forehead and pushing some of his hair back. Jungkook just smiled and squeezed your combined hands.

“Never better Y/N. Let’s go on some rides, yeah?” he suggested, gently placing down the balls of fluff and leading you out of the petting zoo; walking with you to the rides. He never let go of your hand, and you inwardly smiled to yourself. Sure, Jungkook was always close to you like this, but the small victories always counted.

He took you on some fast-paced rides first: the little fast kiddie coasters, spinning teacups, bumper cars (which you totally beat him in, even though Jungkook wouldn’t admit it aloud) and one of those drop-down rides that always made your stomach do flips. After begging him to allow you to sit and rest, he placed you on a bench by the game booths and you watched him play from afar.
He won game after game, and slowly the bench you sat at was covered with fluffy stuffed animals and a new fish friend that you both named Marius.

“Jungkook, there is one thing I’d like to do before we leave.” you told him as you shared a serving of blue cotton candy. Jungkook’s lips were tinted lightly with the dyed sugar, and you were sure that your lips mirrored his. In a large bag over his back held all the toys he won, and you insisted that you’d carry Marius safely in your hands.

“Yeah? Anything you want Y/N, we can do!” he said happily.

“Can we go on the Ferris wheel? The sun is setting, and I bet the view is amazing from up there.” you said dreamily. The corners of Jungkook’s lips pulled up in a smirk and he nodded.

“Of course, anything for my best friend.” he said, nudging your side playfully. You could feel your heart slow and the smile on your lips fall an inch.

“Yeah, best friend.” you mumbled quietly to yourself as you followed Jungkook to the Ferris wheel. You both secured your winnings in one of those large storage containers and hopped on the ride. Jungkook sat next to you and he poked your cheek when the ride started to move. You went around once, twice, and then the cart stopped at the top on the third spin.

“Wow, it’s beautiful.” Jungkook mumbled, staring at the pinkish orange hue of the dusk sky. You nodded.

‘It is, but it’s not as beautiful as you.’ you thought.

“You think I’m beautiful, Y/N?” Jungkook asked. You turned to look at him with confusion in your eyes. Did he just read your mind? The stupid smirk on his face made your cheeks feel hot with blush.

“Did I just say that out loud?” you asked sheepishly, looking down at your shoes.

“You did, you did. Is there something you’d like to tell me Y/N? Do you like me?” Jungkook teased.

“Not funny Kookie, don’t tease.” you said softly, taking a deep breath before looking up at him again. His lips were still blue, the mischievous glint in his eyes made him look younger, and you couldn’t help but fall even more in love with the cute, yet handsome man sitting next to you.

“I do…like you. And I hope that this won’t ruin our friendship. Because before anything you were my friend first and I hope that we-”

Jungkook cut you off with his lips gently pressing against yours. You could taste the remnants of sugar on his lips and you melted at the feel of how soft they were. You brought your hands up around his neck, pulling him in closer as his hands moved to cup your face, his thumbs stroking the soft apples of your cheeks. The kiss was slow, both of your lips just brushing together in between soft breaths, testing the boundaries and just feeling, tasting, and loving. Jungkook pulled away first, resting his forehead against your own as you both caught your breath, both your cheeks flushed in red.

“I’ve wanted to do that for a while now. Does that answer your question Y/N?” he asked softly, a small smiling tugging on the corners of his lips. You nodded and laughed airily.

“Kookie, you look so cute when you blush.” you admitted, and Jungkook grinned, leaning in to peck your lips gently as the Ferris wheel started to descend.

“And your blush is absolutely stunning…my jagiya.”

Klance AU Concept:

It’s basically the Dear Maria, Count Me In Music Video 

- Lance is a stripper

- Keith, Shiro, Pidge (they’re 18 in this, it’s fine), and Hunk go to a (gay) strip club for Keith’s 18th birthday

- They all spot Lance

- Keith is fucking E N A M O R E D with the half-naked cuban boy 

- They’re all enjoying Keith pining for Lance

- Lance also thinks the boy with the mullet is kinda cute

- SUDDENLY LOTOR

- Lotor starts hollering at Lance, trying to win his affections

- Flowers, a kiddy motorbike, balloons, an honestly absurd amount of (possibly counterfeit) money, he brings in 2 dudes in mascot costumes (what the fuck???) 

- Shiro, Pidge and Hunk are equal parts confused and amazed by this show of what this guy thinks will win over lance

- Lance does not need this.

- Lance just needs to pay his student loans, man.

- So in an attempt to get Lotor to stop he crawls over to him, which physically pains his soul to do.

- Shiro, Hunk and Pidge try to get his attention back to Keith (who’s face is a shade of vermilion)

- Lance notices, and starts crawling towards Keith.

- rip keith

- he starts chatting up shiro, hunk and pidge (”how you guys doin? enjoyin’ the show? what’s that cutie’s name and number?” you know, the usual stuff)

- Lance and the rest of them notice that Lotor is sTILL GOING,

- LOTOR PROMISES AN ALL EXPENSES PAID TRIP TO HAWAII

- which is followed up by a… monkey in a diaper? (Shiro fucking loses it, my dudes)

- Lance cannot stop staring at Lotor in utter confusion.

- Shiro (being the fucking MVP that he is) whistles at him for his attention

- Shiro and Pidge are flexing their arms at him to distract him from Lotor.

- He quickly turns his back to Lotor, trying to ignore him

- Lotor. Is. Offended.

- Lotor jumps onto the stage.

- Pidge’s phone is officially out and recording the whole thing

- Keith also jumps onto the stage

- Haggar is the bartender, Haxus (yeah, remember him? fucker got rover killed. bastard.) is some guy at the arcade machine, and Sendak is the DJ. They are all staring at him

- “Who the fuck do you think you are?” says Lotor

- “I could say the same for you.” replies Keith

- Lotor shoves Keith

- So like in the music video, the shove causes the others to jump in and this big fight breaks out

- none of that happens

- Keith decks Lotor in the face, and Lotor (being the shitlord that he is) is out like a fucking light.

- Haggar, Haxus and Sendak don’t fucking care (again, because Lotor is a shitlord)

- Shiro takes home the monkey and names him Bubbles

- Lance takes home the birthday boy and shows him a good time

- They start dating soon after

- Shiro uses this story for his Best Man’s Speech when Lance and Keith get married.

- They were both super embarrassed.

- Hunk bakes the wedding cake, and paints one of the little groom statues (Lance) to be half-naked instead of wearing a tux.

- Pidge shows all of Lance and Keith’s relatives the video they took of Keith punching Lotor in the fucking face.

- And they all lived happily ever after. Except Lotor. Because he’s a shitlord.

bring me home in a blinding dream

title from ‘castle of glass’ by linkin park. another of those fake dating aus because apparently they’re the source of my life.


She was going to kill Mary Margaret.

It’s one thing being set up on a blind date. Emma had suffered through enough of those; her sister-in-law kindly believes that there’s a soulmate out there for everyone, and the way to find them is through chance encounters. Emma gets plenty of chance encounters. Nothing like being a bail bondswoman to introduce you to a lot of men.

(She had pointed that out to Mary Margaret the day before. Her sister-in-law had frowned, raised an eyebrow, and said, “Yes, you definitely want to spend the rest of your life with a criminal who you caught while wearing four-inch stilettos. No, you’re going out to dinner with a friend of a friend of a friend that I heard was recently single. Tomorrow night. At seven. Be prepared.” She had then kissed Emma on the cheek, pushed her toward the couch, and had left Emma’s apartment without so much as a chipper “bye!”)

It’s quite another thing being stood up on a blind date.

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RFA+V+Saeran Proposes to MC

A/N: This wasn’t requested but the ideas have been in my mind for a while so hey why not

Yoosung:

  • The lil bean was a nervous wreck omg
  • He’s going to ask you to be married to him for the rest of your lives that’s a lot of pressure
  • “Zen, I need help I’ve never proposed before”
  • Of course you haven’t, idiot”
  • He’s trying so hard to come up with a really cute way to propose
  • But all the ideas he comes up with aren’t good enough
  • He asks literally everyone in the RFA and almost spills to you in the process oops
  • Jaehee knocks some sense into him saying that no matter how he does it, you would say yes
  • Yoosung gains a lot more confidence after that and immediately knows what to do
  • He decides to go for the traditional proposal at dinner instead of going all out
  • You go out to a really nice restaurant for dinner and you can tell something’s off with him
  • HE ENDS UP CHICKENING OUT AT THE RESTAURANT LOL
  • When you’re both chilling in his house, you ask him what’s wrong
  • Immediately starts stuttering like crazy
  • Eventually, he takes a deep breath and just goes for it
  • “MC… Ever since you came into my life, you’ve been nothing but kind and understanding towards me even if we were strangers. I found myself falling for you fast and I knew I wanted to protect you and make you happy. I still feel that way. These past couple years have been nothing short of wonderful and I hope you think so, too. And I hope that we could have a lot more years like them in the future. So…”
  • At this point you’re both tearing up but he gets down on one knee and pulls out the ring with a shaky hand
  • “Will you marry me, MC?

Zen:

  • You know how he is
  • Obviously he’s going to want to make the most romantic proposal in the entire world
  • He’s got this super extravagant plan in his mind and it’s going to be perfect
  • Until it isn’t lol
  • He took you out to a romantic picnic at your favorite park
  • We’re talking candles-everywhere-as-the-sun-sets-while-feeding-each-other-chocolate-covered-strawberries kind of romantic
  • He cooked the food himself
  • Since you love to hear him sing, he serenades your favorite song to you
  • Everything is going just fine until the nerves start kicking in
  • The plan was to propose after the song but you’re giving him this really sweet and loving look and he loses all composure
  • He starts blushing and his breathing is uneven and his palms are sweaty
  • knees weak arms are heavy
  • You realize he’s struggling to say something you encourage him while waiting patiently
  • He takes your hands in his to calm himself down a little
  • “I want you to know how much I love you. I absolutely love everything about you. Like the way your nose crinkles when you laugh or how you nag me to take a break if I work too hard and how you sing to yourself whenever you cook or how you snore a little bit when you sleep haha… I love how supportive you are. No matter how tough the situation is, you’ve always defended me and stayed by my side. But most importantly, I would love it if you would continue to stay by my side.”
  • You watch as he gets down on one knee, a shy smile on his face as he pulls out the ring
  • “How about it, MC? Will you marry me and stay by my side for the rest of our lives?”

Jaehee:

  • Cool and calculated on the outside, a Hot Mess™ on the inside
  • She does a really good job at keeping the proposal a secret from you but as they day looms closer, she becomes a nervous wreck
  • She starts messing up customer’s orders, drops a plate or two, ya know
  • You’re worried about her but when you ask about it, she quickly brushes it off
  • This isn’t normally like her so you know it’s something bad
  • At the end of the work day, you suggest that she relax a little bit before you two start closing
  • She agrees but goes to the back of the kitchen to get some food for you two
  • When she brings out a slice of cake for you to share, you ask her what’s wrong
  • She fidgets with her sleeve as her eyes fixate on the cake that you’re in the middle of eating, avoiding to look you in the eyes
  • “There’s nothing wrong, I promise. It’s just… I really love you, MC. More than you know. You’ve helped realize that I need to follow my own dreams and take more risks instead of taking it safe.” She looks around the shop. “I mean, you helped me open up my own coffee shop! But one thing you helped me most on is love. Because of you, I took a chance and fell in love. With you. You not only helped me achieve my dream of owning my own cafe but also my dream of finding someone who could love me.”
  • You watch as she looks back down at the cake you’ve forgotten about
  • As you look down, you can see a shining diamond hidden in the pastry
  • “Can you help me achieve one more dream and marry me?”

Jumin:

  • pretend the good ending of his route doesn’t exist lol
  • This man wanted the best and only the best for you
  • But he knew you preferred the simpler things in life
  • so he decided to cancel the raining rose petals and doves lol
  • Instead, he decided to take you out to your favorite restaurant for dinner
  • But obviously he made sure you had the entire restaurant to yourselves
  • He’s a little nervous but not so much because come on
  • He wouldn’t propose unless he knew for a fact that you would say yes
  • So dinner goes by without a problem and you two are just enjoying the quiet company of each other
  • But when the waiters bring out dessert, he gets a little fidgety
  • When you ask him if he’s okay, he takes a deep breath and starts the speech he prepared ahead of time
  • “I want you to know how grateful I am that you are in my life. You are so patient and understanding with me. I was so… isolated before I met you. But you’ve taught me to accept my own emotions and learn to love. I love you, MC, with all my heart.”
  • Jumin moves to stand up and kneel down next to you, pulling out a velvet box and revealing the ring inside
  • “All I want to do is to make you happy. You deserve the best life possible and I’ll do anything to ensure that. But will you give me the best life by becoming my wife?”

Seven:

  • this is gonna be chandler and monica style from friends get ready
  • It’s been a while since the whole Mint Eye thing and Seven had been thinking of proposing to you
  • But he’s Seven so he’s really scared that you won’t say yes since he believes he still isn’t good enough for you
  • You knew that he wanted to marry you and why he was so hesitant so you decided to break tradition
  • When Seven came home from running errands, he found you in the living room surrounded by candles and looking really nervous
  • He sat down next to you on the couch and noticed you were tearing up
  • Seven goes into PANIC MODE
  • He starts to ask questions and see if you’re hurt or if he did something or what but you shut him up
  • “I want you to know how much I love you. I know you’re afraid of this whole “love and relationship” thing but I want you to know that I love you more than anything else. To prove to you that I will never leave you…”
  • You start pulling out the ring you bought for him but at this point you’re full on sobbing and shaking you can’t speak 
  • This boi is tearing up but he gets the idea and helps you out a bit
  • hE PULLS OUT THE RING HE LITERALLY JUST BOUGHT NOT EVEN HALF AN HOUR AGO
  • “I knew I wanted to marry you since you stuck by my side even after going to the Mint Eye. You’ve made me become a better man in more ways than I can count. I’m sorry it took me so long and made you wait, but I love you, too.”
  • He looks you in the eyes as you both take a deep breath before saying at the same time:
  • “Will you marry me?”

V:

  • V wanted to be creative with his proposal but nothing too extravagant
  • So he decided to make it a little sentimental instead by using his photography skills in the process
  • You were out with some friends so he asked Jumin for some help with the set up to which he gladly agreed
  • When you got home, you found a photo taped to the front of the door of you and all the other RFA members
  • Below it was a note saying “The first party and first time we met.”
  • You smiled as you took the photo down and saw more taped along the hallway
  • Each had notes underneath life “Our first date.” or “Taken after we said our first ‘I love you’s’” or “First time I ever saw you.” or “The day you moved in.” 
  • The photos led to the backyard and when you went outside, you saw V standing in the middle with a big smile on his face and you walk over to him
  • Before you can ask him what all the fuss was about, he kneels and begins speaking
  • “You are truly a blessing in life. In my life. You are so patient and kind and understanding and generous without asking for anything in return. I wanted to show you how much I love you and somehow give back for all the kindness you’ve given me. All the photos you have are from moments I hold close to my heart. I hope that we have more photos to take in the future.”
  • You watch him pull out the ring as you hear a snap and see Seven off to the side with a camera
  • “MC, will you marry me and make more memories with me?”

Saeran:

  • You had been together for years and it was a slow and steady relationship 
  • Sure you wanted to marry him but you didn’t mind waiting and giving him time considering everything that he’s been through
  • He wants you to be by his side since you’re the only one that really understands him
  • You’re both cuddling on the couch and watching a movie like any other day
  • It was your turn to pick the movie so you choose this romance movie Jaehee recommended
  • it’s not a zen movie *gasp*
  • At some point, the two main characters get married and you don’t think much of it
  • Saeran, however, has got that scene stuck in his mind
  • Once the movie ends, he asks you if you liked it
  • When you say yes, he just nods quietly and bites his lip
  • You know that’s a nervous tick of his but you don’t want to press him if he doesn’t want to share
  • You’re about to get up to get food when you hear him mutter something
  • It was so quiet so you ask him to repeat it
  • “Let’s get married.”
  • He’s looking at you straight in the eye and you know that he’s completely serious about this
  • You can’t help the grin on your face as you give him a kiss
  • “Okay. Let’s get married.”
Vice Versa // Jung Jaehyun

-

the prompt: Since I’m already up in your requests, may I request a Jaehyun scenario. Maybe about him meeting you for the first time at a coffee shop then it winds up being yall’s meeting place.

words: 1605

category: fluff + drabble (?)

author note: since its jaehyuns birthday and also Valentine’s Day I thought I would write this first! it’s really simple but also kinda cheesy and idk how I feel about it haha. please enjoy it anyway and look forward to more requests being written soon!!

- destinee

Originally posted by yoon-to-the-oh

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the rfa+minor trio baking with mc :3

Zen

  • look
  • this boy
  • youre convinced hes probably never baked anything in his life
  • and he kept “accidentally” getting cake batter near/on his lips and would wait for you to
  • you know,
  • get it off………
  • of course you did it every time BUT THAT’S NOT THE POINT
  • the point is he sucks at baking
  • you just wanted to make some cupcakes for him and his crew to congratulate them on their new muscial
  • but nO
  • he took his shirt off when it got batter on it
  • so did you
  • the cupcakes never got done
  • tragic

Yoosung

  • he was oddly good at baking ??
  • he was secretly trying to impress you
  • he did
  • at one point you booped his nose and got icing on it
  • so you licked it off
  • and he blushed so hard you thought he was gonna faint
  • then he swiped some on your nose and licked it off
  • “I guess…were even now…”
  • this boy is gonna be the death of you jfc
  • you kept sneaking kisses from each other as you prepared the cookies
  • eventually you ended up making out next to the oven till the timer went off and scared yoosung
  • and yes the cookies were delicious

Jaehee

  • you weren’t surprised to know she wasn’t half bad
  • shes good at so many things
  • you were making little sweets for the rfa party
  • she looked so cute when she was baking
  • she had this little smile on her face
  • she poured every measurement perfectly
  • she got a lot of flour and powdered sugar in her hair though
  • its your fault shhh
  • in return, you got a lot of frosting on your face
  • you had a lot fun together~ <3
  • you took a relaxing bath together afterwards

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Random Starters!

Send one! Change pronouns to suit muse. 

  • “Does your masochism extend to an enjoyment of being put in your place like the little bitch you are?”
  • “I’m going to furiously shit lava onto your phone if you text me another three hundred Japanese emoji.”
  • “What the fuck is swiping left and swiping right? I don’t fucking swipe anything, fuck that subtle shit. If I see it I take it and I don’t give a FUCK who’s looking, it’s mine.“
  • “I was using my Grandma’s computer and the last three searches on google were for the price of rat poison, some quotes on cheep funerals, and what the best dating sites are. Should I be worried about Grandpa?”
  • “Once I get paid that Hello Kitty Assault Rifle is MINE.”
  • “Godzilla must have a dick the size of a Winnebago, but we never get to see it? COME-ON TOHO COMPANY, GIVE US THE BUS SIZED LIZARD DICK”
  • “I am a gift from god himself, a treasure amongst you heathens, and I deserve to be fed as such.”
  • “Some people just, eat onions? Like they’re apples? Like they take a fucking bite out of an onion like it’s nothing? How do you fuck up as a person like that?”
  • “How do you super glue a four generation family tree back to its stump? Asking for a friend. His name is Redwood.”
  • “Nobody invited me out, which is too bad for them because my presence is a grace upon your otherwise lifeless existences.”
  • “You commit so much property damage when you’re drunk we should just call you Hurricane Fuckface.”
  • “You ever see a cake so beautiful you wanna fuck it? That’s how I felt when I ate my first phallic cake.”
  • “Having the flu isn’t an excuse to lay around all day sniffling. You know what would make you feel better? Infecting complete strangers, that’s what. Let’s go bowling!!”
  • “I!! Am not!! A person!! NO!!!”
  • “My friend tried to pull the ‘dick in the box’ joke on me, and then I kicked it. Now he’s in the hospital.”
  • “I tried to fuck an apple pie like in that one movie. It was pretty nice, until the next day when I found out I had a yeast infection.”
  • “Good morning. The cat took a shit in your shoes. Both of them. What do you want for breakfast?”
  • “Eat my food again and I’ll fling you into the sun by your ankles.”
  • “Girl, are you a plasma screen TV? Cause you be MAKING UP MOST OF THE ELECTRICITY BILL. FOUR HUNDRED DOLLARS? WHAT’S EVEN PLUGGED IN IN YOUR ROOM?”
  • “You know someone who’s like, sort of ugly, sort of okay looking, but then their personality just pushes it over the edge and they’re just ugly? That’s you.”
  • “Here lies your reputation, in the trash next to the empty bear bottles and a dead raccoon.”
  • “Yeah asshole, reading my diary was EXACTLY the key to mending our relationship.”
  • “Ever since I let you borrow my laptop, Google won’t stop giving me ads for ammonia in bulk and empty storage lots nearby. What exactly were you doing last weekend?”
medium.com
Your mockery of White People Food is Wrong and Classist
EDIT: So it seems that this story is rapidly spreading around the internet, with 60,000 views in the last day alone. A lot of people have…
By Hillel Wayne

Basically, White People Food (WPF) is a joke cuisine, not even a cuisine, just stuff that Americans make because they don’t know what ‘real food’ is. Maybe this is widely represented in the progressive, ultraliberal bubbles I run in, maybe I just have a unique set of friends. But whatever it is, it seems that most of the millennial, urbanite, oppose-gentrification-but-still-eat-froyo people I know look down on WPF.

Which is a good excuse for me to get irrationally angry. Because I love food, and by discarding an entire class of foods we lose whatever interesting ideas they have. And because I remember a lot of these WPF foods growing up, and I remember exactly why we ate them: because they’re cheap as fuck. I compiled a list of every single specific food people sent me, and each one could feed a family of six for like five dollars. And they all were easy to make, too, because you really don’t want to spend a lot of time cooking (or washing a billion dishes after) when you’re trying to wrangle four kids and two dogs. So really, when you’re saying “WPF food is dumb and bad”, you’re indirectly saying “Poor people food is dumb and bad”. Which, well, doesn’t at all make you a bad person, any more than my latent homophobia and misogyny makes me a bad person. It’s just a thing to recognize, explore, and counteract.

Also, by thinking of WPF as dumb and bad, we don’t explore why we don’t like it, and therefore how to make it something we like. So I’m gonna rant about a few WPFs, specifically why they’re secretly awesome and how to make them more obviously awesome.

(cont.)

The gag is…

…this guy’s argument immediately defeats itself.  He  wants to define our hatred of White People Food among classist lines of “this is what poor white people eat” when soul food – the only great American cuisine – is based on scraps given to slaves who had to work to make food taste good. White People Food, by definition, must not be Black People Food, yes?  But Black People Food *slash* Soul Food is poor people food and it’s one of the few culinary traditions that actually exists in this country.  I’m sorry none of y'all’s white ancestors took the time to make cheap ingredients into a culinary tradition that has spread around the globe, but it has nothing to do with class or access to better foods. 

Honestly…I don’t actually know why white people can’t cook.  (We already know that’s a generalization.  I don’t need you to send me your Grandma Susan’s recipe for Red Velvet Cake to combat it.)  But what I do know is this isn’t strictly an American issue and has nothing to do with class.  I don’t want to eat at your white friend’s house in the UK either – the food is too bland.  If you give me the choice between a French restaurant with a menu priced at X amount and an Indian restaurant with a menu priced at X amount, I’m going to choose the Indian restaurant.  Brown people make cheap food taste great.  You have to really come out of your wallet before you actually hit a quality level of French cuisine or English cuisine or German cuisine.

So basically, white folks’ ancestors don’t have good culinary traditions for the average person (the Italians and the Greeks come closest, but there’s not a lot of variation in the ingredients).  The rest of us do.  So find another reason to cry about your unseasoned chicken breast.

How Would EXO Propose

||| Requested by anon |||


Park Chanyeol

Originally posted by glamourpcy

He would do it randomly at home. You were having a bad day and was stressed out because of work. You were not in the mood to talk no matter how much he insisted.

“Oh that’s too bad.” he finally said. “Because I wanted to ask if you would be willing to marry me.”

“What? Chanyeol, please repeat what you just said.” you asked him, trying to hide your trembling voice.

“Will you marry me?”

“Oh my god yes!” you shouted jumping in his arms.


Xiumin/Kim Minseok

Originally posted by drawien

It was your anniversary, so he took you to a fancy restaurant that had a beautiful view of the city. You two were having dinner when he took your hands in his while you just looked at him in surprise.

“You know what would make this evening even more special?” he asked and took the ring out of his pocket. 

“This.” he smiled. “Y/N Y/L/N will you do me the honour of becoming my wife?”

You didn’t expect this at all so you just kissed him as the answer.

“I will take that as a yes.” he chuckled. 


Chen/Kim Jongdae

Originally posted by angetae

You were still asleep when you felt someone tickle your feet.

“Jongdae, please don’t.” you laughed pulling them under the blanket.

“Come on Y/N! Wake up it’s already noon.” he said getting on top of you. “If you don’t I might tickle you to death.”

“Anything but that.” you laughed, burying yourself under the blankets and pillows. He lay down next to you.

“I know what will wake you up.” he said. You poked your head out to have a look and when you noticed what he’s holding you quickly turned around.

“Whaah! Y/N what are you doing?” he said rolling you over to him. “Baby, are you crying? Is that a yes then?” he smiled.


D.O/Do Kyungsoo

Originally posted by kyungsuhos

One day he took you to the studio which was really surprising as he liked working alone and when he asked you if you want to hear a new song he wrote, you were beyond shocked as he rarely sang to you without an occasion no matter how much you begged. He put the headphones on for you and you both smiled when your eyes met.

“I dedicate this one to you.” he said into the mic before singing.

The melody was beautiful and the song itself was about you two and by the time he finished, you were bawling your eyes out but it wasn’t over yet as he still had one question to ask.

“Y/N.” he said. “I love you. Will you marry me?”

“Soo-” was all you managed to say before you started weeping again and he took you in his arms. 

“Yes.” you mumbled.


Kris/Wu Yifan

Originally posted by kpopliciious

He was really clingy and awkward the whole day, so when you two finally got back home and he went to the balcony, you followed after him.

“What’s up with you today? You’re not being yourself. Are you hungry? Need a snickers or something?” you laughed. 

“Come here you.” he pulled you into his lap.

“I have been meaning to ask you something this whole day but never got the perfect chance but since we are here alone…”

“What are you getting at?”

“Aish, let me finish. So impatient.” he positioned you so you could see his face.

“How do I do this?” he said searching for the ring. “Ah! I lost it!”

“Yifan, your jeans pocket and I already know what you want to do and the answer is yes.” you laughed and kissed him.


Byun Baekhyun

Originally posted by baeksilisk

He left the little box with the ring on his bedside table by accident. You could barely contain your laughter when you found it and decided to ask him about it immediately.

“Baekhyun, what’s this?”

“Oh my God!! Y/N where did you find this?” he snatched the box from your hand. 

“This wasn’t supposed to happen, I had this whole evening planned out and when I asked you to marry me, you were supposed to be so shocked that -” he began blurting out all kind of excuses when you kissed him to shut him up.

“The answer is yes, you big idiot.”


Tao/Huang Zitao

Originally posted by cintaozimalfoy

He was trying to be all romantic and when you two were alone on your holiday he got on his knee.

“Y/N will you marry me?” he asked.

You couldn’t believe it and just got on your knees as well and hugged him so tight and started crying.

“Aww, Jagi, don’t cry.” he said trying to contain his tears as well.

“Then why are you crying?” you chuckled.

“Don’t get me wrong. This is supposed to be a happy moment, I’m only crying because you haven’t answered me yet.” he tried lying and you just laughed to that.

“Of course it’s a yes.” you said wiping his tears away.


Kai/Kim Jongin

Originally posted by drawien

He wanted you to remember this day and planed to surprise you but when he started dancing randomly when you two were out, you just joined him.

“No no no, you can’t dance with me today.” he said stopping you.

“Why not?”

He thought for a few seconds and decided to abandon the choreo and the plan he had in mind.

“Ahh, I can’t resist you.” he said pulling you to him. 

You two got so lost in dancing with no music, so you didn’t even notice when he stopped and took your hands in his.

“I had another idea for this day but I’m sure it will be a memorable one either way.” he told you getting the ring out.

You just gasped and before saying anything, kissed him.

“Yes.” you said after pulling away. “And you were right, I will never forget this moment.”


Luhan

Originally posted by 7thvelvet

One weekend he took you on a trip to watch the night sky. When you two were laying down on the ground stargazing he pulled some kind of paper out.

“What’s that?” you asked.

“I bought you a star.” he smiled. “It’s that little one on the far right-” he started when you interrupted him.

“Are you serious?”

“Is it that unbelievable?” he laughed.

“Let me see this.” you snatched the paper out of his hand and unfolded it.

“What’s this?” you said showing him the words “Marry me” printed on it.

“Exactly what it says. Will you marry me?”

You just crumpled the paper and lowered your head down.

“What’s wrong?” he asked when he noticed tears in the corners of your eyes.

“Of course I will.” you said, finally jumping in his arms.

“You got me scared there for a second.” he laughed. “You know, I really did buy you that star…”


Lay/Zhang Yixing

Originally posted by xingblingmi

You came back home to the smell of something burning. You almost ran to the kitchen thinking that maybe you forgot to turn the oven off when you noticed Yixing.

“What are you doing?” you asked opening the window.

“I decided to bake you a cake.”

“Why?” you laughed.

“Just taste it.” he said handing a piece. 

You took a bite not knowing what to expect and to your surprise it was actually really tasty.

“Oh my God, this is so good!” you were about to say when you almost choked on something solid. You took the ring out of your mouth and just looked at Yixing with a judgemental expression.

“Are you serious?”

He couldn’t help but laugh.

“I’m sorry it wasn’t supposed to be in the cake it was supposed to be on the plate.” he laughed but then you realized what you’re holding.

“Are you serious!?” you screamed in excitement and hugged him.

“Will you?”

“Will this be enough for an answer.” you said kissing him.


Suho/Kim Junmyeon

Originally posted by veriloquentmind

He looks so good with glasses omg and that two times eyebrow rise i can’

You were on your vacation by the sea when one evening he suggested on going for a walk. Even though the weather was quite cool the sand was still warm so you took his hand.

“Are you cold?” he asked intertwining your fingers.

“Not yet.” but he still took off his jacket and put it on you. You were walking for a while, just enjoying the view when he stopped when the sun was almost set. 

“You know.” he said searching around his pockets when he realized the box is in his jacket. He hugged you, so you wouldn’t see him taking it out but you didn’t want to release him.

“You’re so warm.” and he just laughed to that.

“Well I would love to hold you like this but can you let go of me for while?”

“No.” you stated and he sighed.

“Fine.” he said still embracing you as he put the box in your hand. “Here.”

“Is that?”

“Yes.”

“Oh my God. OH MY GOD!” and you hugged him even tighter.

“I guess that’s a yes.”


Oh Sehun

Originally posted by blondejongin

He woke you up so early it was still dark.

“Sehun what the hell?” you asked as you looked at the clock. “It’s 4 am! Are you kidding me?” you told him as you turned around to go back to sleep.

“Oh no, you’re not going back to sleep. I have to show you something.”

“Can’t this wait till morning?”

“It’s already morning.”

“Then that’s a no.” you said and closed your eyes but he picked you up, blankets and all.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m taking you to the roof.”

“What? No. It’s cold outside, put me down.”

“That’s a no.” he said. “If it’s the cold you’re scared of then I will keep you warm.” he smirked going out of the apartment.

He sat down on one of the chairs and put you in his lap.

“You look so cute wrapped in those blankets.” he said pulling you closer to him. “Look.”

You opened your eyes and saw the sun rising.

“It’s beautiful.”

“You’re prettier.” he chuckled and opened the box in front of you. “Will you marry me?”

You tried turning around but the blankets restricted your movement, so the chair lost it’s balance and you both fell over. You both started laughing when you freed your hands on put them on his cheeks, squeezing them.

“Yes.” you said and kissed him.


A/N: Feel free to request more scenarios, reactions, etc. I keep up with a lot of groups, both male and female!! 😄

My Little Fairy (Simon D x Reader)

This was requested by anon. Enjoy!

Originally posted by youngkaezy

You were always the shy one, the “baby” of the group of friends. No one really knows why, you were acting like that since you were a young kid, you would smile and play kindly with the other kids, it wasn’t your thing to run around and make a mess like most kids.

As you got older that didn’t change. You preferred to listen to others than talking, you had few friends that you loved but not many, sine you always doubted yourself and could barely say a few phrases when you first met someone.

Kiseok saw you sitting on a bench on the park right across from his office window every day at 11 p.m to 2 p.m. and it was always the same bench and the same time. You would always bring a book and something to drink, you always looked so peaceful and happy, a ghost of a smile was on your lips, he noticed how you replied to anyone that talked to you with a smile, how you would pet the dog that passed by with their owners, how sometimes you would stare at the kids playing with a glimpse of melancholy but also excitement.

After weeks of being a weirdo, he decided to work the courage and walk those stairs, cross the street. He froze, what was he going to say to you? he couldn’t just start talking to you. As he walked with his mind completely off, he didn’t see the bump on the grass and tripped down.

“oh my god”

you said and left your stuff to run to the man that fell down kind of hard.

“are you alright sir?”

“physically yes, emotionally i want to crawl to a hole for the rest of my life”

you left a small chuckle as you looked at him. You knew those eyes, if it wasn’t for the mask you may have been more successful at recognizing him.

“we all tumble”

“not in front of the girl we wanted to flirt with


Kiseok loved how pure you were, how you would blush every time he made a flirty or dirty joke. How you would play with your fingers when you got nervous around him, your genuine smile when he complimented you. He was so used to women that tried to take advantage of him or girls that were just seeking a good night sex, he almost forgot that women that would blush and hide their face after a single kiss.

AOMG took you in as family. Even though you were younger than their “baby” Hyuk-woo they could tell that your feelings for Kiseok were 100% real, so they accepted you and enjoyed having you around.

Of course you had to be there for Kiseok’s birthday. You were happy for your man no doubt, but his birthday was one more reminder that you had a big age gap. You had just blow out your 25th birthday cake, Kiseok was turning 34 in Korea. They were plenty of times you were scared to seem childish and unattractive to him, that he would realise how much of a baby you are and leave you.

No matter how you felt, you got dressed in a A line princess sweetheart beading sleeveless short mini organza dress in lavender colour, you did your heart in loose curls and put it up in a ponytail and your make up soft and summery, you even put on heels and got to the club.

You were not happy to see a sea of women that looked much more sexier and older than you, most of them around Jay and Kiseok. Of course when Kiseok saw you, he politely excused himself and got to you. He swiftly wrapped his arms around your waist and gave you a kiss on the forehead

“Happy birthday”

“Thank you babygirl, come on and drink with us”

He saw how your smile dropped when you saw the women that were in the V.I.P area, so he made you sit right next to him and took your hand in his.

“Ladies, this is (y/n)”

None of them spoke, they just kind of nodded at you with displease and got to talking with Kiseok, completely ignoring your entire existence.

As time went by your insecurities catch up with you and ate you from inside out, you clearly stood out with your girlie dress, you felt like you look like you just left prom. All the women here wore sexy dresses that showed up their glamorous bodies, Their hair flowed down like a waterfall and their make up was done to perfection. Kiseok seemed much more interested in them than you, so you did what everyone here hoped you would do, you picked your bag and walked away without saying a word and looking at the ground.

You heard your name but didn’t turn around, you just kept walking towards the exit. You almost made it to the car until a hand wrapped around your elbow and pulled you back

“y/n, what happened? are you ok?”

Kiseok asked concerned. He thought you got sick or something, when he saw you leave the worst case scenarios bombarded his mind. Your eyes avoided his and looked at the concrete.

“I just want to leave”

“why? who hurt you?”

you got silent again, there was no one to blame except you. Kiseok placed his hands on your cheeks and made you look in his eyes

“tell me what’s wrong”

“it’s me ok. I am a baby, i showed up in the club like i’m going to prom, and all those girls, they are so glamorous, now look at me Kiseok. I…. don’t belong here”

Kiseok could do nothing but hug you. The reasons that made you feel insecure were the reasons that he wanted you by his side. When you showed up in that dress you looked like a fairy, he was actually worried about your age cause you were so young and full of energy, he was getting old and could not really keep up.

“I love your dress, i love your youth, i love everything about you. Do you love the old man?”

“i love you and you’re not old”

“Give me a kiss”

He requested and you pulled away from his shoulder to give him a quick peck.

“Don’t worry about those girls we got way bigger fish to fry. I want you, my little fairy to be there and no other girl will change that

FicRequst: Bucky’s Cake

Fic Requst: Bucky’s Cake
Bucky x Reader, soulmate AU
Word Count: 1678
Warning: Fluff
A/N: I’m not very happy with this one, but I need to stop messing with me. I hope you like it @elaacreditava


Originally posted by caps-bucky

After Steve brought Bucky back to the Avengers tower, he was focused on healing and getting used to his new arm, the idea that he might have a soulmate out there wasn’t even in his vocabulary. Even if he did have a soulmate, surely she died years ago. He had stopped looking at the words written on his wrist years ago. Why do you get the bed? They hadn’t faded, as is what typically happens when a soul mate dies, but who knows what the serum did to his body. Before he had left for the army, back when the biggest worry he had was Stevie, the thought of hearing those words made him smile. But none of that mattered anymore. He was alone and would remain so as long as he lived.

Keep reading

BTS Reaction: Their gf has never left their home country.

Request:  BTS reaction to their foreign girlfriend never being out of her home country? Love ur blog btw ❤️

A/N: This blog loves you too anon! Sorry this took so long to post, stupid internet :( Enjoy! xx

Jin:

Originally posted by jjilljj

It had been a few days since you had spoken to Jin, no matter how many times you’d texted him and attempted to Facetime him, everything on his end seemed cold. You tried not to panic too much, you knew he was busy but at least one text could have reassured you. You started to become frustrated at the lack of effort on his end, scrolling back through your texts, the last one being from a week ago telling him how you’d never been anywhere but your home country. Just as you started typing out a fairly disgruntled text to your boyfriend across the sea, you heard a car beep outside your bedroom. Standing there, smug as you can imagine, was Jin, fanning himself with a passport before nodding towards the car. ‘Let’s go on an adventure’ he’d say before taking your hand and leading you into the back of the car.

Yoongi:

Originally posted by jeonsshi

‘Seriously? You’ve never been anywhere else?’ he’d ask in awe over Skype as you explained to him that home sweet home was getting a little tiresome. He smirked to himself as he started typing rapidly into his studio laptop, humming to himself. ‘Nope, I wish. Maybe someday I’ll be able to come visit you all the way in Korea.’ you chuckled to yourself, your boyfriend feeling even further away than usual through the confines of your laptop. ‘You know I’d love that’ he mumbled, seemingly distracted with whatever he was doing on his laptop. ‘How’s the 22nd of this month? Long enough to get your passport sorted?’ he asked. ‘Yoongi, no I can’t afford it…’ ‘It’s a good thing I can then, isn’t it babe?’ ‘It’s too much!’ you insisted, shaking your head in an attempt to stop an unmoving and stubborn boyfriend. ‘Is it so wrong for me to want to hold my girlfriend? I love you and I want to see you.’ He’d say matter-of-factly, shutting his laptop to prove his point. ‘See you soon baby.’

J-Hope:

Originally posted by chimneytaels

‘Happy Birthday Jagi!’ he’d exclaim over Skype as you held an envelope in your hand that had arrived in the post this morning from Hobi just in time to have it for your big day. ‘Hobi you know you didn’t have to get me anything…’ you said, suddenly feeling shy at your boyfriend’s show of generosity. ‘Oh Jagi it was nothing, just open it already I want to see your reaction!’ He would exclaim jumping up and down in anticipation. ‘Alright, alight!’ you giggled, tearing the envelope open. As soon as you saw what was inside a wave of emotion run you flat, clamping a hand over your mouth to stifle the gasp emerging from your mouth. The plane ticket to Korea stared back at you while Hobi giggled through the speakers of your laptop. ‘Oh Jagi, don’t cry!’ He’d laugh, you still being speechless. ‘Ok so you’re going to come and see me in Korea and from there we’re going to take a little trip to Thailand, that okay with you?’ he’d ask as you nodded so hard you thought your head might fall off. ‘Oh Hobi thank you so much! This is the best gift I could ever ask for, I finally get to see you.’ you gushed, running the ticket through your hands. ‘I’ll see you soon babe’ he’d say before explaining he had to go to practise. The whole build up to your trip he’d send photos of where he’d take you.

Rap Monster:

Originally posted by gukiee

It was nearing Valentines Day and Namjoon had come up with the ingenious idea of taking you to Paris, since you’d never left your home country. Seeing as he spoke English he thought the communication wouldn’t be too difficult and that it would be super romantic to meet somewhere neutral and spend your time together exploring a new country. He would try and learn a few French phrases and words to keep you two safe but other than that he wanted this trip to be spontaneous. On valentines day you saw a package on your front door. In truth you had forgotten all about the occasion, thinking nothing of it normally and especially with your boyfriend across the ocean it wasn’t something you really thought about. Opening the package there was a Mickey Mouse stuffed toy with a note in it’s hands and a ticket. ‘Meet me in Paris? -Joonie x’ you took the envelope in your shaky hands and opened it to see your flight details and hotel details, seeing how hard he’d work to organise this filled you with gratitude, rushing to your phone to call him and thank him.

Jimin:

Originally posted by chimchams

‘Ahahaha what?? You’ve never been anywhere else?’ your phone dinged with your boyfriend Jimin’s text message as you finished up your work. ‘No Jimin, we can’t all be popstars who travel around the world :P’ you’d reply, rolling your eyes at how oblivious yet sweet your boyfriend could be. ‘I know, still, how would you feel about coming on tour with me and the boys?’ You almost knocked your coffee over at that one. Go on tour?? With BTS? Not just to one country but five or six? Was he serious? ‘What??’ you replied, unable to tell if he was joking or not. ‘Well me and the manager have been talking it out for a while now and the boys all think it’s a great idea. I was going to wait until you birthday to ask but we might need more time to get your passport sorted- if you want to come that is :)’ He probably thought you were ignoring him you sat there, slack mouthed for so long. ‘OF COURSE I WOULD ARE YOU KIDDING ME???’ He replied almost immediately; ‘Ahahaha well of course, who wouldn’t want to see me? ;) Love you, maybe I’ll get to see you sooner than we thought xx’

Taehyung:

Originally posted by minimochijimin

Sssshhhh’ Tae would exclaim as he found out you’d never left your home country. He had his hand over the camera of his phone while you were facetiming as apparently they were at a recording studio that didn’t allow cameras. ‘Hey, I need to tell you something’ he’d say, peaking your curiosity. ‘What is it?’ ‘Well…’ he’d say twiddling his fingers idly. ‘…’ you sat there, waiting for Tae to finish his sentence ‘there’s been some new… changes to the WINGS tour…’ he’d say nonchalantly, still not unveiling his phone camera as he dragged out his sentences, keeping you hanging on the edge of every word. ‘What do you mean?? Tae for god’s sake just tell me, you’re killing me here. I can feel myself ageing.’ He giggled at the absurdity of the situation before screaming so loud it hurt ‘WE’RE COMING TO SEE YOU’ he yelled, uncovering the camera to reveal himself and the boys packed inside a minibus, looking exhausted but in good spirits. ‘NO WAY’ you screamed, jumping up and down. ‘We’re taking you back to Korea with us, Y/N, we have this all planned out’ he smirked. ‘See you in an hour’ he said, giving you the kind of smile that melted your heart before hanging up.

Jungkook:

Originally posted by theseoks

Well as far as crappy Birthdays went this took the cake, not that you had one. As the sunset on what had undoubtedly been a shambles of a ‘special day’, your mind couldn’t help but wonder to your boyfriend. Sure he was busy, but had he really forgotten your birthday? You hadn’t heard from him for days and while you weren’t worried, you couldn’t help but feel a little angry at him for neglecting you on your birthday. As you finally gave up on any kind of birthday miracle, you got into your pyjamas before going over to your curtains to close them and call it a night. That was before you saw a balloon float up to your open window with a peice of paper attached to the bottom. You swiped it from the air and upon closer inspection saw the piece of paper was a plane ticket to Korea. Amidst your confusion you saw the note scrawled on the back: ‘Will you be the Jasmine to my Aladdin?’ it read, as the opening bars of A Whole New World began to play from below you. You looked down to see your boyfriend, dressed as Aladdin, holding up his phone and singing the song, grinning up at you with his infamous bunny grin. You ran down the stairs and flung yourself into his arms, him spinning you around and kissing the top of your head. Among all the happy tears and staring at each other to make sure you were really there, you whispered ‘yes, I’ll be your Jasmine.’

The Maiden and the Scoundrel

Author: @appleblossomgirl0305

Prompt: #63 Historical AU: Katniss has been engaged to Peeta’s older brother since they were children, but upon meeting a Capitolite, the groom-to-be breaks the engagement, leaving Katniss devastated and feeling rejected. To avoid more scandal and losing K’s dowry, the Mellark’s hurry to offer a new betrothal to their youngest son. Neither P or K are very happy about the new arrangement, P is a known womanizer and K is too puritanical. They gradually fall in love… make it as smutty as you like :) (submitted by @alliswell21)

Rating: M

Trigger warnings: arranged marriage, mentions of slavery, heavy drinking (drunk!Peeta)

A/N: I had the absolute best intentions to get this story done by the EFE deadline, but alas, it’s not finished. This is the first chapter, more to come. This was an amazing prompt and I have loved revisiting some of my favorite Jane Austen stories for inspiration. I have more in store for these two.

Betaing magic and much needed moral support by the incomparable @xerxia31. @alliswell21, thanks for this wonderfuul prompt, I hope I do it justice. @javistg, thanks so much for this fantastic challenge and opportunity to collaborate!

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The One, Part 9

Jim Kirk x Reader

Warnings: angst.

Summary: It had been years since you had last since Jimmy. The two of you were highschool sweethearts, until you parted ways. After a horrible breakup with your two timing ex-fiance, you transfer to the U.S.S Enterprise. Finally coming face to face with the boy you left behind. Can the two of you work alongside each other in peace? Or will the past come back to haunt you?

The One Masterlist

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Ahsoka - thoughts on the novel

I finished reading @ekjohnston‘s Ahsoka last week and have been slowly gathering together my thoughts on the book, so here you all go …

Originally posted by xi-ca-no

  • One of my favorite things about reading any of the novels is getting inside a character’s head. It never fails to make me love/appreciate them 1000x more, and this one was no exception.
  • This book provides a really good bridge between the wild child we see her as early in The Clone Wars, and her unorthodox but measured approach to missions in Rebels. She’s got a great, logical mind, and only occasionally lets her emotions get the better of her.
  • All the flashback/interlude scenes were brilliant, but Rex and Ahsoka mutually faking each other’s deaths took the cake for me. 😢
  • Ahsoka’s thought processes as she chooses planets to hide on has given me a fascinating new theory answering the “why another desert planet?” question/complaint about The Force Awakens, and I really need to write meta for it. SOMEONE REMIND ME TO DO THIS.
  • I am so, so happy that Bail Organa is able to track Ahsoka down and provide her with both resources and protection relatively soon after the Clone Wars. That man has become my hero more and more. And in doing this, she really saves him as well by allowing him to focus on his front as a politician while she runs the intelligence networks instead.
  • Speaking of Bail … BABY LEIA. Oh gosh, I would have read the book just for those snippets, had I known she’d make an appearance. She’s precocious already as a toddler. And daddy Bail is precious.
  • Bail worrying about Leia possibly having “her father’s gifts” and hoping she’s more like Padme. MY HEART. 😳
  • Having Ahsoka and Leia in the same orbit for ~16 years opens so many potential cans of worms, though.
  • While I’d guess from Bail’s extraordinary ability to keep secrets that he never tells Ahsoka the truth, and that he probably funneled Leia’s latent talents into her diplomacy skills and relief work as quickly as they appeared, it’s hard not to imagine and long for an alternate universe where Ahsoka was allowed to train Leia all that time.
  • Seriously, I want this now so badly. (I mean, I know why it wouldn’t work AT ALL for practical and continuity reasons with the original trilogy, but I still want it, haha. I need an AU stat!)
  • I loved that the book looked more at the problem of protecting Force-sensitive children and that it’s been a mission of Ahsoka’s since the beginning. I really need to rewatch “Future of the Force” now with that in mind. Hedala was precious, and I dearly hope her family is able to keep her safe.
  • Don’t imagine Bail asking Ahsoka questions about the best ways to hide a Force-sensitive child and redirect their abilities after each time she discovers another one and then putting her advice into practice with Leia.
  • Random thought of the day: the idiotic cleaning machine in Ahsoka’s little house on Raada is a roomba, and no one can tell me/make me picture it otherwise.
  • This book continues the long and glorious tradition of girls crushing hard on Ahsoka and her being an awkward, clueless potato. Her confused reaction when Kaedan says “I could kiss you,” and the exchange that happens afterwards is priceless.
  • Honestly, at this point I’m pretty convinced that Ahsoka is simply hapless when it comes to romantic relationships. 1. The one major crush we see her have on Lux Bonteri is a hot mess. 2. She never seems to pick up on the feelings of all the girls who like her. And 3. from what I have seen of The Clone Wars (someday I’ll actually finish it all instead of jumping around), she was oblivious to Anakin and Padme’s relationship, despite years spent working closely with both of them, separately and together.
  • I wanted her to be able to pass Bail’s ‘test’ so much when he referred to toddler Leia as “already a lot like her mother,” but was not at all surprised when Ahsoka didn’t figure it out.
  • (That line! 😭)
  • I can definitely get behind aromantic/possibly asexual Ahsoka.
  • “You certainly have a sense for drama.” Haha, yes, my dear not-padawan, always sass before a fight. Your masters have taught you well. 😂😂😂
  • I love the way that Ahsoka uses her petiteness to her advantage when it comes to fights, tricking her opponent into underestimating her in order to give herself the tactical advantage.
  • The juxtaposition of narrative tension with meditative calm in the moment where she assembles and activates her new lightsabers was perfect.
  • Overall, it was a great read, and will definitely deserve a reread in the future. The writing is solid, and I’d place it on par with Catalyst and Bloodline. 😊

GO FORTH AND READ IT!