And here we are with some sketches of Species Swap!Garu!
He doesn’t look hairy enough though *bangs self with a book* I tried-
Also trying to make him look 35 was a challenge too but hey I took it!
ALSO I HAVE HUGE RESPECT TO PEOPLE THAT DRAW FURRIES AND ANIMALS LIKE HOW THE HELL CAN YOU GUYS MASTER IT-
It took me forever to draw werewolf Garu ;-;
Huge thanks to both @themusicalpaws and @partiallybatty for their suggestions and ideas! [Im sorry I didn’t go with the Wolverine sideburns, but for some reason every time I drew them it always turned out wrong]
he knew he was a dude since he was little. he took forever expressing these feelings because 1. the anxiety (canon evan def seems like hes had it since he was little) and 2. he doesn’t want to make his mom more concerned for him than she already is
he builds up a collection of boy clothes (taken from the lost and found, bought at a thrift shop, etc) and he keeps them hidden in the back of the closet. the only “boy clothes” he wears outside the house is an oversized hoodie that he wears 90% of the time. sometimes he’ll put on a full boy’s outfit and go to the mall in the next town over when he really needs a release and it makes him feel euphoric even though his hairs still long and he can’t bind
during tenth grade, he purposely puts gum in his hair so his mom will let him cut it (not that she wouldn’t let him cut it, evan just never asked if he could get it cut short) and he feels hella confident. his therapist asks why he cut his hair short (bc sometimes drastically changing ur hairstyle can be a sign of being suicidal) and evan manages to admit his feelings. he and his therapist spend a lot of time talking about building a support system, methods of coming out, resources, etc. finally, evan writes a letter to his mom explaining things to her. his mom, of course, is supportive af and immediately starts calling him evan and using the right pronouns. theres slips here and there, but she does pretty well. she also buys him his first binder, and makes sure he doesn’t wear it for too long.
she makes evan go to support groups for a while, but evan finds them really overwhelming because he doesnt wanna tell his story to a group of strangers. he stops going but his mom keeps in contact with the other parents, and they help her and evan with his transition at school.
his mom starts emailing back and forth with his principal during the end of evans sophomore year (and she talks to evan about this and hes excited about being out but also nervous af).
junior year starts, and evan starts it as himself. he walks into the first day with a boyish haircut, an outfit from the mens section that he actually bought, and a confidence that, in the past, was a feeling of dread
then he finds that everythings almost exactly the same. he tries talking to one of the “cool” kids at lunch, they look at him like he has an extra arm, and he ends up sitting with jared, who “accidentally on purpose” misgenders him (jared’s parents have a talk with them when they find out and jared actually feels guilty and apologizes for it). he has to pee, goes to use the bathroom, and freaks out a bit over which one to use. he goes into the guy’s room, and a guy in there freaks out at him. he has his crush on zoe going strong, but he feels he has absolutely no chance with her because hes trans, unpopular, and just plain a mess. what makes it worse is that he has a drawing class with her. he spends each class sitting by himself with earbuds in, and she doesn’t even notice him.
for the rest of junior year, things are actually worse for evan than they had been. he starts t around the middle of the year, and the effects start pretty quickly, but people still just keep ignoring him. but he feels like he cant talk about how miserable he feels, even with his therapist, because he should be happy. he really downgrades how he feels, and hes relieved when summer starts. hes even more relieved when he starts working a job where the boss is chill and doesnt even acknowledge the fact that hes trans. summer goes by, and evan starts having to take a new antidepressant because the testosterone changed his body chemistry and the old stuff isn’t working as well. the new stuff works well, and he gets a lot more energy than hes used to having. he climbs up the tree and lets himself fall. he only breaks his arm and he feels disappointed bc he can’t be a girl right, can’t be a boy right, and can’t even kill himself right.
he breaks down and tells his therapist everything he had been going through. the therapist suggests that he start writing letters to himself, so he does. he starts his senior year, and that feeling of dread is back. jared does see evan as a guy, but consequently, his teasing of him just got worse and he makes it more clear that he only hangs out with evan for the car insurance money. he goes to the computer lab to print his letter. connor would never admit it, but he has gender dysphoria and secretly identifies as agender but knows he can never come out because his parents would never accept him and he has a big issue with his own internalized transphobia. he feels trapped living as he is. connor knows about evan, and is jealous that this shy loser kid is able to be himself but also wants to kinda get to know evan so he can feel like hes less alone. connor signs evans cast, then sees his sisters name on the letter. connor gets angry because how DARE a transgender guy want to get with his sister.
zoe sees connor shoving evan. despite what evan thought, she has noticed him in the past. she noticed his transition, and shes terrified that connor did or said something transpobic to evan, so she immediately goes to ask if hes alright.
connor decides right then that he would rather die than keep living in the closet, and leaves school and commits suicide.
the first time connor goes to the murphy’s house, he feels a sense of euphoria at the fact that hes with these people who didnt know him before his transition. hes not sure if zoe told them about him being trans or not, and that adds to the anxiety of the situation.
the connor project gets started, and evan is feeling amazing about the fact that all these people know who he is, and that all these people know him as evan hansen, not evan hansen the trans guy. he finds himself unable to come clean about his lies because of all the attention hes getting and all the respect hes getting. he gets close with mr murphy because he finally has a father figure who sees him as a son.
he comes clean about the lies to the murphys, evans terrified. hes terrified they’ll hate him, even though he knows he’d deserve it. hes terrified that the parents will think its worse because hes trans.
then, a year later, evan meets up with zoe. now that hes out of the toxic high school environment, he feels hes more himself than he ever was. he thanks her for not telling people about the lies, and not outing him.
A/N: Aye, it’s my first fanfic! Finally lol. It only took me forever to get one out xD. Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy it! I know it’s really not the best but if you have any helpful suggestions on how I could improve my writing, I would love to hear your guy’s opinions. And as always, feel free to request!