and it surprised me and i laughed

2

“Sonia! Oh my baby!! It’s been so long! What are you doing here?! And your hair!! It’s pink!!”

Sonia laughed softly as her mom pulled her in for a tight hug, “Sorry I didn’t call– figured I’d surprise you.”

In reality, Sonia was afraid she’d end up spilling her guts the second her mom picked up, and she decided that probably wasn’t the best way to tell someone they’re going to be a grandparent.

“God, it’s been so long, babe! How have you been? Wait! Let me make some tea before we start catching up!”

anonymous asked:

I just moved from Brazil and already have made quite a few friends. I was scheduled to have a meeting with Mr.Wilhelm in order to be debriefed on the university guidelines. Since I wanted to make a good impression I asked one of my friends, whom speaks German, what was the most polite way to address the Dean, he told me I should call him großer vati. (1/3)

During his explanation every time he asked me something I would answer and add großer vati at the end, when I first used it, he stared at me for an uncomfortable amount of time and then continued, after that things went “normally”. The first thing I did after that meeting was to find my friend and ask what he really told me to say because it looked like I either offended him or surprised him by speaking German, my friend wouldn’t stop laughing at the question until he told me I called the dean “Big Daddy”. (2/3)

The Dean is quite attractive but that’s not how you make a good impression even worse is that I have another meeting with the Dean this afternoon, I don’t know what to do and I’m afraid to meet him again. What should I expect? (SFW and NSFW plz) (3/3) 


I would suggest not listening to your friend, use a German dictionary or actually take German language courses before gullibly repeating what they tell you to.

Especially when talking to the Associate Dean or anyone that speaks a different language in general.

Indeed the Dean is a handsome man, and good impressions are important to him. From the times I’ve encountered him he’s a gentle giant.

As for what he’s going to do? Well…depending on how long your “meeting” is with the Dean he’d be interested in learning more about your German vocabulary and wouldn’t mind helping you expand your vocabulary.
The only distraction from learning these new “words”, is him teasing you, teasing you until you open up for him. 

Don’t worry he’ll go slow and make sure that you understand what he’s saying.

 He’ll give you commands in German and give you the responses and expect you to use them while you and him are together. Of course, he’ll get you ‘off’ before he sends you on your way but he’ll remind you about calling him ‘großer vati’ and it’s a secret name for him while the both of you are together.

1:52AM

My flight to cali is about 6 hours away. This was suppose to be the time I finally meet you. I never told you because I wanted it to be a surprise. But now I don’t even have a chance to tell you. Crazy man, we were both looking forward to meeting each other and had our plans of you showing me around, even meeting your friends. Now I’m just praying to god I don’t see you at all, cause if I do I don’t know what I would do or even say. But it’s killing me to finally see you in person, to see that laugh and smile I always loved seeing.

More “wtf are humans, please leave the rest of us be” stuff:

Human reactions to fear!

No, I’m not talking about screaming or freezing in one spot and pissing yourself. I’m talking about the weirder, more specific-to-only-humans fear reactions.

Like singing.

Idk how many of you have watched people play horror video games, but a surprising amount of people start narrating what’s going on in a sing-song voice.

Imagine being an alien, walking in a horrific, dark tunnel with these weird gangly creatures, you’re all scared out of your wits and then one of them starts fucking singing.

In a dark cave. While everyone’s terrified.

“ ♫ ~We are all gonna fucking die, this is terrible and I wanna go hooooome~ ♬ ”

shit the signs prob do/say

*from my experience*

Aries: bad bad texters, make everything obvious, *randomly curses at u* (not a surprise if u find them talking to themselves), crazy drivers vroom vroom, *screams but cools down after 3 min*, laughs manically when angry, looks focused about everything,  jokes about things that’ll make you widen your eyes (rly personal shit)

Taurus: asks when and where they’ll be able to eat, make literally 0 sense sometimes, lazy bean always saying they’re tired, virgo #2, will fight u, takes their fights seriously, MI X ED SIGNALS!!?!!?!?

Gemini: “idk I like them but I don’t, you get me?”, hates it when u repeat music but they do the same shit, acts smart but can’t backup their arguments, rly loud laughers, *screenshots everything*, repeats their jokes until someone laughs at it

Cancer: adds everything w daddy, “im not emotional wtf”, likes to be derpy, either babies u or likes being babied, becomes victim if u dont return affection, has atleast accidentally called their teacher mom/dad once, “send that to me!”

Leo: actually leaves yelp reviews, s/o > frnds/u, dramatically cries when hungry, “lets take an uber”, turn to preachers at random times, #triggered, goes to places just for the pictures

Virgo: judged u atleast once, involves themselves in drama & accidentally becomes a victim, not scared of u, independent woman who dont need no man (unless u got some leo in u), my opinion > urs

Libra: literally wild af, talks really loud, says shit without even thinking twice omg??, wings everything, air head #2, s a ssy, “idc if they don’t like me……but why tho”, leo #2, have dank memes to back up their argument, most likely to send u a nude/ or have u call them daddy/mami, suggest i v e

Scorpio: text them at 4 am and they’ll reply, actually really hate spooky shit, could pull off as Geminis if they weren’t so mysterious, also looks rly hot, thinks about every bad scenario, the worriers, staring at you either means they hate u or they like u pick one

Sagittarius: *freedomly flirts*, so harsh like ouch?, the type to ask u to dinner and say they forgot their wallet, says no but does it anyways,  *shows u a song then reminds u they showed u it everytime u listen to it*, mimics everything, most likely to wear something that’ll grab someone’s attention

Capricorn: *looks rlly powerful but likes a dominant person*, lets you copy their hw #realOG, looks rly confused, depended on 167% of the time, looks rly hot, looks so serious but is really singing in their heads, ride or die

Aquarius: air head #1, say the weirdest shit sometimes omg?, leo #3, won’t apologize for none, probably already found out the secret to life, doesn’t hide anything, “im n o t we a  k”, makes a joke bout everything

Pisces: more sensitive than cancer like wyd astrology, says “what” after you just explained yourself, “dude what if like…”, oblivious , person: look at that cute person pisces: where?! *looks everywhere but the cute person*, no one knows what they’re thinking

You should speak to somebody. You should. If you have a problem, do not suffer in silence. Speak to a friend, or a teacher, or a sister, or another adult. You might not like your parents or your teachers or your siblings, there will be someone you can talk to. You’d be surprised. Any kind of random relative. Even if you don’t think they can help in any way, it’s just good to talk because little Dan was just like *timid face* the whole time and *laughs* now I have so many issues. Honestly, they’ll be with me forever.
— 

@danisnotonfire during his live show on the 7th of February 2017

Quotes from Dan (29/?)

Please listen to him. Too many people look back at their lives realising how much could have changed if they’d dared to open their mouth about what was bothering them. It’s scary as heck but please do not suffer in silence.

Can we stop everything for a minute and talk about Jared’s and Jensen’s acting? Sure we can.

There’s no such thing as a surprise when it comes to them being able to make me cry with a simple look and make me crack laughing with a simple move but anyways I still find their acting mesmerizing. 

Let’s start with Jensen, because he got me crying all over this scene. I couldn’t help it. (I cry a lot with SPN because of him)

{source here}

He made me feel every bit of desperation he was feeling. How you can’t remember something so simple, so yours, something that in any normal situation you could say it like you can sing your favorite song. But there’s any of that and he just makes you feel it, he doesn’t even has to say it, it’s there in his eyes; how lost he feels.

And all I have to say is: Jensen, you’re definitely one of the best actors I’ve seen and it’s amazingly beautiful the way in which you can get to people’s feelings with your expressions.

That said, now Jared. (I cry a lot with SPN because of this bitch, too

{source here

I’ve been all emotional because of Sam in countless times, Jared gives such expression to Sam that you can’t help yourself.

I was as worried as Sam at this moment and even though I saw Dean’s words as a joke I was totally lost and trying to keep calm but no can do, this is Supernatural we’re talking about. Sam’s expressions here say so much, him shaking his head, him looking away, the little smile he makes, the sigh of relief, the way his eyes look watery. He was going to loose it if the counterspell didn’t work. It’s seen that he can’t lose Dean, not like that, not again. He goes with “not funny” but you gotta see it in his face, you gotta hear it in his voice. Is such a strong feeling kinda like he was making me feel it.

Jared, you’re freaking gold and you never fail to amaze me, you never fail to make me feel every single thing Sam feels. 

Honestly, I’ve gotta thank the world for having such great actors as Jared and Jensen to play the characters I love the most because clearly without them I wouldn’t have fallen in love with the Winchesters. Thanks for,  and to, Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles. 

Eating Out (SMUT)

A/N: Requested by @dopamine-addiction! Sorry it took so long, hun! Also, this GIF seemed appropriate XD

Character: Harry

Warning(s): SMUT GALORE! Also, NSFW GIFS under the cut. Once again, I’m so sorry to mobile users! GIFs used are not mine.

Originally posted by ariana-winter

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things little one loves to hear ♡

➳ once upon a time…
➳ i love it when you’re yourself !
➳ you’re perfect to me
➳ accidents happen, it’s okay
➳ why don’t i help you with that ?
➳ does someone need a nap ?
➳ tell me what’s wrong, i’m listening
➳ i love your laugh so much
➳ let’s cuddle
➳ you make me so happy
➳ guess what ? it’s snack time !
➳ i have a surprise for you… 
➳ do you remember our rules ? 
➳ hold my hand, please
➳ come on, stay close
➳ let me kiss it better
➳ you’re such a good little one
➳ i’m so proud of you !
➳ don’t cry, i’m here now
➳ i love you so much

2

happy valentines’ day to @maenie! i was only your wonwoo anon for a little bit YES THAT WAS ME LOOOOOL, but i wanted to make you something anyway~ | 1 2

10

How do you know if a guy is right for you? 

You’ll just have to feel it. 

All I feel is my back breaking out. 

You’ll know, okay? You just have to let it happen. And then, probably when you’re not looking, you’ll find someone who complements you.

overwatch ladies as useless lesbians
  • Pharah: one time a pretty girl called me “gorgeous” and I was so shocked and flustered that I literally cried right in front of her
  • Tracer: Once I was getting off the bus and there was a girl so beautiful next to me that I tripped and walked into a bus pole.
  • Sombra: A pretty cashier at the campus store told me I was pretty and I got so flustered that when I went back to my room I had to lay down for half an hour and my roommate was starting to get concerned.
  • Mei: i made a pretty girl laugh w/a silly joke and i got so flustered that i apologized
  • Widowmaker: every girl I see is pretty, I am in a constant state of paralysis
  • D.Va: today a pretty girl walked me out of class and i was surprised when she kept walking even though we reached her bus stop and i asked her where she was heading and she said “oh i just wanted to walk you to wherever you’re going” and we both blushed
  • Zarya: this pretty girl told me my hair was cute and touched it briefly and I couldn’t form full sentences for a solid 10 minutes.
  • Mercy: this pretty girl offered to teach me how to longboard and when she was teaching me how to balance she put her hands on my hips and I felt my soul leave my body
  • Symmetra: Once I met a girl so pretty I lost all ability to differentiate between languages and gave her my coffee order in three different ones mashed together.
  • Ana: once in college i ran across this weird gothy/pseudo-victorian girl and she was so painfully pretty that i died
  • (based on this post: http://blackkatmagic.tumblr.com/post/155495772340/damaramegido-wheeloffortune-design)
This Valentines Day
  • Whether you're spending it longing
  • Fisherman: Would you stop putting chocolates in the ocean? You're probably poisoning the dolphins!
  • Angelica: I DONT CARE HE NEEDS TO KNOW I REMEMBERED HIM
  • Laughing
  • Laurens: Okay, way way mon amay Jeh mapple Lafayette?
  • Lafayette: *chokes on drink*
  • Working
  • Mulligan: If someone asks me to sew one more pair of god damn assless chaps for another "valentines day surprise" I'm swear to god
  • Traveling
  • Madison: Sir you smell like you haven't showered in weeks
  • Jefferson: I know isn't France great
  • Or even mourning
  • Burr: Dear Theodosia, what to say to you...
  • Just remember th-
  • *cough*
  • Just reme-
  • *cough*
  • What is that loud coughing nois-
  • Peggy: AND PEGGY!
  • Oh, right! Ahem
  • Or even being forgotten
  • Peggy: Finally thank y- heYWAITASEC-
  • JUST remember that no matter how you're spending your Valentine's Day
  • Eliza: *opens door to Alexander with a half eaten box of chocolate*
  • You're always loved
  • Hamilton: Mmrph?
  • Eliza: *sigh* I love you too honey
  • ~<3
Seven Days

Summary: This is for @saxxxology ‘s June Writing Challenge. Sam and the reader get involved in a dirty talk competition. So much smut ensues.

Warning: smut, orgasm delay, use of ice, SO MUCH DIRTY TALK

Word Count: 7200 (Not sorry at all)

A/N: This one got away from me. I hope that’s a good thing. @oriona75 @withoutaplease @blushingsamgirl @spectaculacular-sammy @thinkwritexpress @aprofoundbondwithdean

Keep reading

When I got out of the Yuri on Ice exposition a few days ago I noticed for the first time the store that was across the exhibition, and only then I realized that they had decorated one part of their display with YoI.

WAIT A MINUTE, IS THAT–

THAT IS A POLE-DANCING CHRIS FRAME!!!

When I saw they had so many naked Chris I started laughing my ass off and one girl from their staff explained to me that they decorated this display with loads of love lol

Japan will never cease to surprise me.

Barbados Bonding (REQUEST)

“Jaxon!” I squealed, pushing my now wet hair out of my face. He laughed immensely as he watched his prank play out, but soon stopped as he saw me get to my feet, “I’m gonna get you!”

Chasing him down the beach, he screamed and hid behind the shield that was his big brother. “Let me at him, Justin,” I said, leaning around him to try and grab him. “What did you do, Jaxo?”

“P-poured sea water in her hair,” He giggled, making Justin laugh too. To his little brother’s surprise, he stepped aside and Jaxon gasped, giving me the opportunity to pick him up. We fell onto the sand, courtesy of Justin sticking his foot out and I proceeded to tickle him.

“(Y/N), ahhh! S-stop it!” He giggled, trying to push my hands away, “I’m not gonna stop till you apologiseeeeee,” I sung, never letting up.

“Never!”

Soon, I heard the giggles of other presence’s. I turned and saw Justin’s sister, Jazmyn and step-sister, Allie watching close by as their brother was being attacked by the tickle monster. “Don’t just stand there, come help!”

They ran over and joined in, “Us girls have gotta stick together,” I said, and they nodded in agreement, pinning Jaxon’s arms up so that I could reach his armpits.

“Alright, alr-right… s-orry!!!”

Letting him go, he stood up and shook himself off, out of breath. Allie and Jazmyn were in a fit of giggles and I smiled at them, they were adorable. Looking up, I saw Justin sat with his father, smiling at the scene before them.

I was honoured that Jeremy had invited me to spend a vacation in Barbados with the Bieber’s (OG and to-be), it made me feel like part of the family. I loved the kids, a lot. They were adorable and so full of energy.

justin’s pov

“She’s so good with the kids,”

I smiled at my dad’s observation and watched as they used her as a human jungle gym, Jaxon on her back and Allie and Jazmyn on either leg. They were all laughing and it couldn’t help but bring a grin to my face.

(Y/N) was special. Especially with children, it was like she became one but still retained a motherly instinct. She taught Allie how to build the “perfect” sandcastle, Jazzy to plait hair so that she could achieve “mermaid waves” and Jaxon to be more confident in the water. I admired her.

“I’m so glad she came,” I added, “This trip wouldn’t have been the same without her.”

Seeing her with my siblings made me even more confident that she was the woman I wanted to settle down with, she was perfect in every way. Not only my siblings, but my Dad and stepmom, too. The way she spoke with them were as if she’d been friends with them for decades. (Y/N) was such a heartwarming person, and everyone could see that.

“Justin, look what (Y/N) found!”

Jazzy ran up to me with a starfish in her grasp, “Woah… where did you find that?”

“By the water! She says we have to put it back though, because it can’t survive on the beach.”

“Which is sad, because it’s so pretty here,” Allie added.

I glanced up and saw (Y/N) waiting by the water’s edge for them, feet splashing in the water. She was a masterpiece, I got so lucky with her.

“Earth to Justin!”

I blinked repeatedly and I heard my dad laugh beside me as Jazzy waved her hand ferociously in front of my face, “I said are you coming to watch?”

“Sure, let’s go.”

I walked with them to the shoreline and smiled at (Y/N), wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her in for a kiss, “Hey beautiful.”

“Ewwww!” All three of them grimaced, making (Y/N) giggle. “One day, when you’re a little bit older, you guys will find someone who makes you really happy and kissing will be the last thing that you’ll find gross,” She spoke, making me smile.

“Now come on, we have a starfish to save.” She changed the subject before there was any protest.

Walking into the sea, we all watched as (Y/N) took the starfish from Jazzy and swam out a little way so that nobody would tread on it. We waved and she waved back before ducking under the water.

“We really like (Y/N),” Allie said and Jazzy nodded in agreement, “I like her the most! She taught me how to swim on my back.” Jaxon added.

“I’m happy that you guys like her,” I said, pulling them all close to me as we watched her swim back, “Because she’s gonna be around for a while.”

8

DanganXSpongebob Part-3

1- Matsuda is a genius.
2- Friends Forever.
3- F.U.N.
4- The sweater.
 
And the third part of these is finnished! And omg it’s me or Matsuda look really good? It’s my first time drawing him an Ryoko and I’m surprise by how cute they end. Well, I hope that this make you smile or even laugh. Thats the only propose for these -also its turning kinda funny to do too- anyway, I hope you like it!

Part1:
http://lapetitahapin.tumblr.com/post/153009922760/danganxspongebob-part1-1-take-the-ice-cream
Part 2:
http://lapetitahapin.tumblr.com/post/153135956800/danganxspongebon-part-2-1-izurus-ship-2