and it still looks like shit smh

ISSA STORYTIME

Ok I’m bored so ima tell y’all a wild ass story that happened to me first semester of my college experience; the story of when I got laced by a wild thot with some CRACK. Let’s get into the tea gorls

So I went to art school for communications design. I dont go there no more because it was hella racist, but a different story for a different day. The campus I went to was way up north, in Utica. Never heard of it? Didn’t think you would. Just imagine if the worst neighborhood in Detroit was an entire town with like no people and cows. I don’t know about y’all but at my school we had this thing called late night where we get snacks and shit in the cafeteria after dinner. I was one of 6 black boys in my entire school so it was always dry. So this particular late night I had got a pink wig and started fucking around and giving these crackers some life to entertain myself. My extra ass being who I was did stand-up for the entire night. Since it was early in the school year tho I aint really have no solid friends, so the people who I was gonna go smoke with finished their food and left me like some fucking snakes. When I was done I was deep in my feelings lol because bitch…..you gon spark up…..without me???

I was like “y’know what idgaf, I don’t need you niggas” because I’m likable, right? I could talk to anyone I wanted and make friends. That’s what my dumb ass thought even though I knew damn well these all were some back woods ass white people from Cousin Fucker Nowhere. So I’m standing in front of the dorms like “ok, if I was a white person who loved giving free weed to negroes, what would I look like?” and as though Satan himself heard me, this girl wearing dem Jerusalem B.Cs (you know what I’m talmbout) and a bright jacket that had to be from the thrift store because it smelled like pickled dick and horse radish extract walked past. I was like DING DING DING, gotcha Becky!! So I was like “omg hi sis, I always see you in class and I think your style is so cool blah blah” and all that fake shit. Naturally Linda felt gassed af and immediately offered to let me smoke with her. Yeah, yah boi got it like that.

But mama ain’t raise no fool and I seent Get Out so I don’t go nowhere with a white person without at least one other poc with me. So this couple I’m good friends with now was walking out of the dorms, we just gon call them Peanut & Jelly. They were quiet and both shy people so they didnt hang out much yet. They were also native and latino which was good enough for me so my loud ass was like “Aye, y’all smoke??” it’s 2017 so of course they smoke and I invite them to come smoke some of Margret’s weed. Consider it reparations. Since they ain’t have no friends they were happy to come join us. Smh y’all if you see this I’m so sorry I got y’all into this lmao. Anyway Trisha was like “Super duper the more the merrier, let’s go :))” with her wild ass. But I remembered I still had some of my own weed left so we ran to my room and got it, but I ain’t have no bag to carry it in. So Ingrid said “Oh, I have a bag you can put it in” and pulled out this ashy ass ziploc bag. RED FLAG NUMBER ONE. But my clueless ass thought she just had some plaster or some shit in there before since we went to an art school. Smdh.

Originally posted by ihiphop

Shortly before we depart Peanut and I are getting everything together and making sure there’s no smell. While this is happening Jelly watches Rebecca spread some “dust” on her gums. RED FLAG NUMBER TWO. This nigga thought it was candy dust or something. No one in this equation is particularly bright. But anywhore, we started making moves to this parking lot/roof that we usually hung out at. I was hoping my friends fake asses would be there so I could ditch Jill’s ass. Peanut & Jelly I ain’t mind because they were cool once you got them to talk. I could tell they weren’t feelin Harriet tho lol and tbh neither was I but would your ass turn down a completely free spark up??? Didn’t think so. We get to the roof finally and I start checking my jacket to find I forgot my mini bong in my room. So Elizabeth is like “Oooh awesome we can smoke out of my pipe!” and I’m like lol you bougie ass bitch just call it a bowl. But my fake ass just said “Litty gorl, load that shit up!” thats exactly what I get. She starts loading her “pipe” up and I notice both my weed and hers lookin a lil ashy. AND THATS RED FLAG NUMBER THREE

It’s like 11 at night tho and we only had street lights so I didn’t wanna call Susan out and end up lookin a fool if it was nothing. So I just let her do her thing and pull out my lighter so we can make it do what it do ya feel? So we smokin and I’m having a pretty good time. I feel proud of myself and shit for scamming little Mary Ellen and getting a full spark up after my niggas rolled out on me. I’m like “haha bitch you did that and you high as fuck”. Me being the funny nigga I am in my head, I make myself laugh. Then I realize for someone who smokes pretty regularly and only had two hits, I was already shmizzed for some reason. I look over at Peanut & Jelly and both them niggas lookin like

“Already??? Huh, that’s weird”, young nigga Kam thought to himself. But once again it was free weed so I shut my Nancy Drew ass up and let it go. Debra passes the “pipe” to me and I hit it harder this time because I ain’t pay for it so ima get mines. Because I hit it so hard I kinda taste it and bitch, that shit tasted like Mary J. Bliges leather boots and plastic. So I’m like “yo Amanda, what’s good with your bowl the weed taste weird?” And it ain’t like weed has a particularly good taste but I know it damn sure don’t taste like that. Emily proceeds to say “I don’t think anything’s wrong with the weed, might be the other stuff tho” As soon as she said that shady shit Peanut and I’s heads snapped to look at her like “Bitch….what other stuff??”

Jelly at this point is checked the fuck out, like this nigga is walking through space or some shit. That might just be him tho cause that nigga always acts weird when he high smh. That ain’t the point tho. This raggedy Ann ass hoe starts giggling and laughing like someone said something fuckin funny. I’m sitting there confused and high as shit still got the fucking pink wig on, Peanut got her ass riled up and with good reason because we both know we just asked ole girl a question. So Peanut says one more gain “Did you put some shit in the fucking weed?”. By now I think Amber realizes the joke is nay and she’s close to getting stomped out. Here comes the climax of the story y’all. This bitch gon roll her eyes like we being extra and say “lol it’s fine, we just smoked out of my crack pipe and I haven’t cleaned it yet” When I tell you the entire world went silent, I heard SZA wheezing into her microphone miles away. My ass, Peanut ass, and even Jelly incapacitated ass was all like

“…wut?”

Jelly just started laughing like he just heard the funniest thing ever in his whole life. Peanut was staring at Tina like she was preparing her alibi for the police when they find that lil girl’s body. And me, you ask? I was just thinkin bout my girl Whitney. Like sis, is this how it started for you? I was looking at Rachel all hurt. Et tu Becky? All a nigga wanted was some weed and now my ass sitting on a roof high off crack. Suddenly time returns to normal and the only thing my faded ass can muster is a “Pardon me???” Helen continues to chuckle like she Tiffany Haddish up in this bitch and tells us that she smokes crack and weed out of that bowl sometimes, and that we had placed the collective weed in her coke bag. Jelly stupid ass still in the corner laughing to keep from crying because I knew that baby voiced nigga was scared. I’m so astounded at this point that I can’t even drag this wild ass bitch. Peanut however, is not me. Lort I never seen anyone but my momma yolk somebody up so fast! She smooth slid across that asphalt like

Grabbed Ellie, and said “BITCH HAVE YOU LOST YOUR FUCKING MIND?? ARE YOU SERIOUS??” and started shaking that bitch like she was tryna give her shaken baby syndrome. Jelly managed to get himself together enough to try and keep his girl from going to jail. What was I doing? Well I knew I had a choice, I could help Peanut throw Taylor off the roof, or I could help Jelly keep our good sis from catchin a charge. So I chose the smartest option. MY ASS STARTED TO HIT FOOT.

That shit wasn’t none of my business no more!! Bitch the link up is over! The deck is DONE. I could already hear my momma belt whoopin my crack head ass in my mind, no thank you ma’am! My black ass was done for the night. As I’m running back towards campus I hear footsteps behind me. I turn around to find Jelly running behind me, dragging Peanut along by the hand. Chloe however, is nowhere to be found. I ain’t stop running tho. Was it fear, was it anger, was it the adrenaline pushing me to run? Nah I was on crack so it was prolly that lol. We run until we’re two blocks away from campus and I’m finally too tired to run, which surprised me because I always assumed crackheads were just like the enegizer bunny. So we’re catching our breath and I’m tryna keep from falling over because I feel hella whoozy, but I manage to ask “What happened to Bobby?” Peanut proceeds to tell me she took one good fist, and dropped Katy like a bad habit. I was proud of sis too because she’s twig thin and I thought she was meek af. We start walking back to the dorms and all 3 of us are just silent. Ain’t nobody got shit to say bitch we on crack. Peanut and I lived 2 doors down from each other so they go in her room and I go in mine after we say our good nights. I go in my room and my roommate is there with his boyfriend. Immediately my roommate is like “lol you’re high af” and my overly trusting ass gon tell him “This girl laced the weed with crack”. This cracker ass bitch gon look at me and say “oh really…..are you ok?” like I just got into a small argument. Like nigga….I GOT LACED WITH CRACK DO I LOOK OK???

So I sit down and start watching videos on my laptop to try and distract myself from my anxiety because a nigga was SHOOKT to the core. My roommate and his boyfriend were just watching me like I was a good ass episode of something. I don’t blame ‘em tho, I looked wild af. I was twitching, teetering, and sweating like shit even though it was late September in upstate New York. Now this fake ass bitch gon take a snapchat video of my crackhead ass trippin and put it on his story for everyone to see. Needless to say after that day ain’t nobody fuck with Molly ever again. One good thing did come out of it tho, Peanut, Jelly, and I became real tight after that. And what became of Becky you ask? She made sure to steer clear of all 3 of us and my friends lol because they threatened to cut that hoe. Moral of the story children? Don’t trust white people.

I still can’t get over this damn official art like I stare at this thing for long minutes. Is it because they’re both so god damn beautiful? It looks as if they’re married or some shit and the white doves making it look all romance-y n’ shit lol. It looks like they’re alone and both looking into the horizon and maybe I dream too much right?
It’s just seeing them together side by side makes my heart flutter so much~ keep up the ereri cuz I’m starving for it. (like god damn why can’t they be together, they make such a perfect combination smh) 

Just a PSA 😁

THE PIERCINGS THAT I HAVE ARE FOR ME!!!! Not for anyone else!! One thing that irks my soul about the “older generation” is how they assume that we do shit just because. Moreover, that we do shit just to follow a trend. THAT is bullshit to me. I got my Septum pierced for a spiritual reason (I.E. I feel that my piercing was a rite of passage especially at 22). If you can’t understand that because it doesn’t jive with your “era” or whomever then fuck off. What makes it worse is when other black people make fun of your piercings as looking “African”. Like, ARE YOU NOT AWARE THAT WE ARE CALLED AFRICAN AMERICANS (even though I say Black still the same thing). Smh, sorry I had to vent

anonymous asked:

Can I have headcanons for the main 3 on how they would react when their always calm and gentle s/o suddenly lashes out at them from pent up stress? Your blog makes me so happy omg!

Is that a bit of angst I smell? I think so. I love writing angsty shit like this. Pain is my pleasure, which is probably why I hate myself and love to destroy my own confidence lmao. Anyway, I enjoyed writing this. Thank you for the request :3


[Viktor Nikiforov]

  • You have been cleaning all day because your parents are going to be visiting the apartment you and Viktor share as a couple
  • It’s the first time they’ll be seeing your home, and you want your parents to know that you live a good, healthy, and responsible life with your boyfriend
  • and of course the best way to do that is to clean the fuck out of every square inch of the apartment lmao parents love that shit
  • You’re putting the finishing touches on the living area when Viktor comes home from practice, looking tired, but still sounding chipper when he kisses you and asks you how your day was
  • Out of force of habit, Viktor throws his duffel bag on the floor and slings his jacket over the back of the couch before heading to the kitchen for a snack, leaving his water bottle on the counter in the process
  • oh my god can you believe this bitch lmao like what the fuck who do you like you are ???? you act like you’re viktor nikiforov smh what the hell
  • “Viktor, honey, can you please put your things away? I spent all day cleaning for my parents, and you kind of just threw a wrench into everything, haha.”
  • Viktor basically ignores your nervous laugh and passive-egressive tone; he doesn’t seem to notice how stressed you are about your parents coming and evaluating all of your life choices based on one visit
  • “(Y/N), honey, you’re being silly. It’s fine, it’s all fine. Don’t worry about a thing, okay? It’s all in your head, I promise.”
  • ONCE AGAIN I SAY “THIS BITCH” LMAO WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DISREGARDING PRECIOUS EMOTION
  • Something inside of you snaps, and you’re sent over the edge of fury; you feel yourself scowl as every muscle in your body tenses and your blood boils as your heart begins to pound
  • You drop the can of cleaning spray on the floor with a loud clatter, causing Viktor to jump and look at your with a startled expression
  • “(Y/N), what are you—?”
  • “You’re seriously telling me ‘not to worry about it,’ Viktor? Are you fucking kidding me? I’ve been cleaning and working all day for tonight, because I want my parents to approve of the life you and I live. You realize tonight could determine if they give you their blessing to get married one day? And you’re saying ‘it’s not a big deal?!’ Viktor Nikiforov, I cannot believe you! What the hell?!”
  • Viktor stares at you with a guilty expression, not sure how to react to your outburst; you’re always so calm, and he would have ever expected this to come out of you
  • but can you imagine leaving THE VIKTOR NIKIFOROV speechless ???? respect, fam, respect
  • You storm over to the bedroom door, needing to get away from your boyfriend right now since you need to cool down before your parents arrive
  • You slam the bedroom door, leaving Viktor alone in the aftermath of your outburst and the surprisingly still atmosphere of the almost-clean apartment

[Yuri Katsuki]

  • It’s been hard the last few weeks with Yuri being so caught up in skating and you with your own responsibilities, and you’ve gotten pretty stressed out
  • But tonight, you’re going to stick it out for just a little while to cook Yuri an amazing dinner; you mostly just want to spend time with him and unwind together, though
  • Sure, you’ve been a little lonely without Yuri around as much as he used to be, but you’re holding up because you know how much he values his skating and the time he as with Viktor
  • i mean his idol just came out of nowhere and became his coach ???? how can you blame him for wanting to spend time with THE Viktor Nikiforov ?
  • Pushing the lingering fatigue aside, you take a quick trip to the grocery store to get what you need for tonight’s meal
  • The grocery store is busy as hell, and it’s a very stressful experience trying to get though the isles of customers, and the line to check out seems to stand still
  • You barely make it out alive, but you manage to exit the store with everything you need, with a little extra stress on the side
  • You spend the next several hours reading the new recipe carefully and preparing the food; cutting, seasoning, and mixing the ingredients is a lot of hard work, but thinking about spending time with Yuri tonight makes it more bearable
  • you may or may not have shed a few tears and extra sweat into the recipe, but it is made with love nonetheless and thats all that counts lmao
  • Once the food is in the oven and cooking, you text Yuri about how excited you are to see him tonight, and you be sure to imply that you have a bit of a special surprise for him
  • There’s only a small amount of time left before Yuri is going to be home, so you hurriedly set the table with the finest china and wine glasses you have, making sure to fold the napkins fancily on the plates
  • You go through the effort of lighting candles and setting out an expensive bottle of wine that you know Yuri loves
  • Yuri’s normal time of arrival rolls around, but there’s no word from him or any sign of him coming home; you send a couple of texts, but he doesn’t even open them
  • you even have turn the oven on low and put the food back in to keep it warm since it’s starting to get cold ;-; yuri where tf are you
  • At almost 10 p.m., the front door opens and Yuri enters, seeming chipper and happy to see you; you though, wear an angry expression, and demand to know where he’s been and why he wasn’t answering his phone
  • “I-I was with Viktor, (Y/N)! He promised to take me out to eat if I had a good practice, and we went out. I’m sorry for not texting, though, honey. I have no excuse.”
  • “You mean you ate already? I spent hours in the kitchen getting ready for dinner! I spent half my paycheck on expensive wine I don’t even like, I cooked for hours, and I waited around with no word from you! What the hell, Yuri?! Enjoy the meal, I guess. I made it special, just for you.”
  • Leaving a bitter edge to your words, you storm out of the apartment before Yuri has a chance to explain, pushing past him and slamming the door behind you, leaving Yuri in the dim candle light and the smell of a home cooked meal filling the room.

[Yuri Plisetsky]

  • You’re having a rather bad day—just feeling a bit worn down and stressed from the week before—and just want to spend a day on the sofa to try to clear your mind
  • i mean i think everyone deserves a day off once in a while; life is busy and sometimes a break is all it takes to get back at it again
  • You’re waiting for Yuri to return from skating practice so you can watch a movie together and relax on the couch for the rest of the day
  • Yuri’s been really busy and stressed with his skating career lately, so you figure it’ll be perfect for both of you to take time and relax together
  • The telltale sound of the lock of the front door unlatching echoes into the living room, and you smile at the sight of your boyfriend entering with his duffel bag
  • and his hair is half up in that little ponytail of his and he looks absolutely fuckin adorable ugh yura ilysm
  • After dropping his belongings in their usual place on the floor, he walks over to the couch where you lay
  • You open your arms welcomingly, inviting him to have a cuddle party with you in your arms; he’s just in time for one of your favorite movies to start playing
  • To your surprise, Yuri just picks up the remote and turns the television off, leaving you with a disappointed and confused expression on your face
  • “Uh, Yuri! I was watching that.”
  • “(Y/N), get up. We’re going shopping and then getting dinner, okay? I saw some stuff online that I want us to try on for the party Viktor and Katsudon are throwing this month.”
  • ugh Yuri wtf are you doing goddammit not everything is about you smh
  • You explain to Yuri that you just want to stay home and relax for the night, making sure to include how tired must also be because of training; you promise that you can shop with him tomorrow
  • “Come on, (Y/N). You can’t be that tired! Just suck it up and go shopping for an hour. I trained all day today and I’m fine; all you did is sit here at home on your ass this week.”
  • Something inside of you snaps and you throw the nearest pillow at Yuri as hard you can before standing and walking up to Yuri so your body is flush against his, but there’s nothing affectionate about your gesture
  • “Yuri! I’ve been having a really, really rough week and I just wanted a day to relax with you! Look, I get it; you’re probably tired from training and want to just go shopping to unwind, but can’t we just do what I want for once? I feel like all we do is what you want! And you have no right to disregard my feelings like this! Fuck you, Yuri!”
  • “(Y/N), I—“
  • Yuri sits with a blushing, dumbfound expression on his face as he watches you storm out of the room and into the bathroom, slamming the door behind you

*flips chair around and sits in it backwards* ok y'all here’s my 2 cents on… 2doc. Bad pun

phase 1-3 it’s bad. it’s flat out abusive. phase 1 has a little wiggle room I guess but it’s really bad in 2 and 3. (it’s AWFUL in phase 3) there is no way it would end up good. despite that, there’s definitely…. tension. 2d being completely infatuated with murdoc (doyathang newspaper comic, assuming it’s repping what 2d wants from murdoc for example) and looking up to him even after the bunch of shit murdoc gave him. I am in no way excusing what murdoc does to 2d, mind y'all. he’s still an asshole. and when murdoc isn’t a major asshole, he actually acts pretty gay. like calling him “pretty” multiple times and I’m pretty sure once he said “I just like tall things” then stared at 2d for deadass 3 seconds or sumthin. I think it was the NY interview, look it up smh. But that tension in no way overlooks how shit murdoc was to my lad 2d and no room for any relationship at all is there.

phase 4, different story so far. I haven’t gotten any abusive vibes from ye olde murdoc yet. The only weird thing is “I take 2d on walks to the park” but it sends weird signals as a whole. Murdoc seems to have gotten most of his shit together and treats the whole band with respect. I can get behind that. That and the official art 2D playing the piano wearing an apron the wrong way while Murdoc is just. laying around in the piano is pretty chuckle-worthy and gives off “we’re chill now lads” vibes. Some other art pieces do that too I guess but I think most of the speculation was over reading into things (i.e. Murdoc giving 2d the 👀 eyes in that one where they’re all sitting on the couch but I’m 99% sure it’s Murdoc looking at the entire band. I mean, they’re all to his right.) Although I doubt it would ever be a “thing” as putting 2 band members together in something as “individualistic” as Gorillaz would be fucking weird imo. It would be a loooooong stretch. The only reason I can think of that would fit along with the plotline of humanz would be to push that “love is love” message that Ol Fat Trump cries about but. that’s just objectifying them TBH. Too far fetched.

Anyway TLDR it’s bad phase 1-3 and great 4. Unlikely to happen at all but at least you aren’t trash for liking it this phase.

edit: this is a contradictory callout and support post for 2doc shippers. if you acknowledge that it was abuse in the past, and don’t create content of it being abusive, I support you! Good shit! but if you don’t and shove all the things murdoc has done under the rug, fuck you!

edit: ‘twas revealed that murdoc practiced “torture” on 2d but has since stopped doing that. i’d normally start hollering and delete this post but it’s implied he did it in earlier phases. save my boy 2d

edit: it’s less bad now? i mean that moscan ad has 2d just kinda standing there behind murdoc, scratching his head and smiling and just generally being Uncomfortably Close™ to him. not to mention it being set in muds’ bedroom. whoever writes this shit is going down a slippery slope and I’m not sure whether to help them the fuck out or just accept fate and go along for the ride
Guard!Jungkook Part Two

Last but definitely not least is our darling maknae who did so well MCing like I saw some gifs and he looked really comfortable like I’m really proud of him actually go kookie go I’m just proud of him in general bc really when you think about it he’s come so far like he used to be a lil bit more on the shy side but like now he seems a lot more open and free like he isn’t afraid to make weird faces whenever he wants and he goofs off a lot more and it makes me so happy to see him just having fun and chilling out and I just l o v e seeing him be all silly bc it’s so endearing and I just love

  • For anyone that hasn’t read part one and would like to, click here
  • Guard!Jungkook is lowkey your best friend
  • You two grew up together but he was always more focused on his training
  • His family had a long line of skilled warriors and the best guards in the entire country so he had a name to live up to
  • Sometimes you’d get him to be a kid with you but most times he was too busy following his parents around
  • It’s almost funny to think of how serious he was around you when he first signed up to be your guard
  • He could barely touch you bc he was so strict about the rules and he only ever spoke formally to you and he was just so !!! around you
  • But after a while he calmed down a t o n
  • It goes from barely being able to make eye contact for longer than 0.8 seconds to lowkey demanding cuddles every two seconds
  • He doesn’t like to outright say he wants cuddles but he makes it extremely obvious that he does
  • He brings out all of the fluffy blankets and big pillows
  • He kinda just gets really comfy and sits there with his arm casually draped across the bed, silently inviting you to come cuddle
  • If you ignore all of it, he starts clearing his throat until you look over and then once he has your attention he gives you the big smile that’s basically just “comE CUDDLE NOW PLZ AND THNX”
  • If you somehow manage to turn down all of that cuteness he just starts throwing shit at you
  • He finds some paper lying around and kinda just starts aiming at you
  • If you can still reject that, he literally gets up and carries you over like smh I just wanted cuddles why you gotta ignore me and shit when I just want love
  • B a n t e r
  • When you two are alone, it’s literally all banter
  • Everyone who sees how respectful he is around you in public would never guess that when he doesn’t have to be a guard, he’s calling you a lil shit
  • He loves you don’t get me wrong but he also loves teasing you
  • He’s the only person that can get you so riled up but also so giggly at the same time
  • You two could be insulting each other back and forth but you’d both have huge smiles on your faces
  • By the end of every “fight” you two are all cuddled up and are just giggling
  • You’re the only person he’s himself around tbh
  • Like he has friends but you’re his best friend
  • You know all of the lil secrets he has and he knows yours
  • He wouldn’t fall quickly
  • It would take him a while to open up to you and then even longer to fall in love 
  • It was a gradual thing really, there wasn’t any one day that he fell in love, there wasn’t an exact moment
  • Whenever you smiled, he could feel his heartbeat speed up
  • Whenever he casually grabbed your hand to lead you somewhere, his mind began to wander off to how it’d feel to be able to just hold your hand without any reason
  • Would you let him?? Would you rub the back of his hand with your thumb would you write your name onto his palm what would you do
  • And when you hugged him it was heavenly
  • He could smell your shampoo and he gets to hold you as close as he wants to for as long as he wants to
  • Hugs aren’t bad for you either though
  • You can smell his cologne and he’s just so warm and you can feel how strong his arms are bc they’re holding onto you all tight and shit and you just feel really safe
  • Like nobody would dare touch you when you had kookie by your side but when you were in his arms that was like a giant X on any plans
  • It takes him a second to realize he’s in love but after he does it’s kinda just like “shit”
  • He goes back to being lowkey awkward around you bc he doesn’t know how to handle this new information and he’s trying to make the feelings go away bc he’s been training his entire life to be a guard he can’t believe he broke rule number one
  • He has z e r o clue on how to handle this new situation
  • He’s never been in love before, he’s never really done that whole romance thing in general but to top that off, he’s in love with literally the only person in the entire kingdom he’s not allowed to be with
  •  It wouldn’t be until he sees the new prince that you’re supposed to marry that he actually makes a move
  • Something inside him snaps when he sees the prince holding onto your hand like um excuse me that’s supposed to be our thing
  • And before the prince leaves, he kisses your cheek and kook just about loses it
  • He should be the one strolling through the gardens with you and kissing your cheek, not some random dude neither of you have ever met
  • His mind is a bit clouded with the picture of the prince kissing your cheek tbh
  • He doesn’t exactly think anything through at that stage
  • He runs up to your room once everyone’s gone to bed and he’s just like I need to get something off of my chest rn I have complaints
  • Lowkey starts ranting about the prince while you’re trying really hard not to smile or laugh bc it’s so painfully obvious he’s jealous as fuck
  • “What do they see in him anyways?? He’s tall and shit but that’s literally it I mean his face isn’t horrible but he isn’t worthy of you, he had the personality of a stick!!! Why are you laughing excuse me this is serious I expect you to report all of this back to your parents and tell them it’s a no go bc he just didn’t sit right with me I don’t like him”
  • You kiss him instead of answering bc honestly you’ve been wondering if he feels the way you do
  • You knew it was true when he whispered an “I love you” to you when he thought you were asleep but you wanted to be sure
  • He freezes up and like his eyes are all wide when you smile up at him afterwards and he’s just !!
  • He’s gonna need an actual minute to realize what just happened and then he’s gonna be even more confused
  • You two would need to have a bit of a conversation after that just to tell each other how you feel
  • When he hears you say you love him he gets that really cute smile where it’s all just teeth and eye smile and lil bunny
  • Jungkook would be another person I see not wanting to be king
  • He’s just never wanted that and he still doesn’t so when you offer to pass it onto the next person he can’t agree fast enough
  • You two ended up getting a lil cottage on the castle property and he’s honestly so happy
  • He gets to kiss you whenever he wants, as many times as he wants to (and of course as many times as you want to) he gets to fall asleep and wake up next to you
  • Most importantly, he gets to say “I love you” as loudly as he wants, for everyone to hear
Rereading Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince: Chapter Eight - Snape Victorious

yall already know by the title that this is gonna suck ass

- when we left our hero, he was lying motionless on a train about to head back to london with a broken nose, under an invisibility cloak. so things are looking up!

Harry had never hated Malfoy more than as he lay there, like an absurd turtle on its back, blood dripping sickeningly into his open mouth. What a stupid situation to have landed himself in…

at least hes finally becoming a little self aware. 

- OH HELL YES THANK U TONKS

Last year she had been inquisitive (to the point of being a little annoying at times), she had laughed easily, she had made jokes. Now she seemed older and much more serious and purposeful. 

why does loving remus lupin make you a WORSE way more boring person??? ever since my love affair with him, ive just become even awesomer. 

- forreal tho tonks’ character assassination is like the worst

- were locked out of the castle but dont worry guys SNAPE is coming to get us!!!! im sure things will go fine

“I was interested to see your new Patronus.”
He shut the gates in her face with a loud clang and tapped the chains with his wand again, so that they slithered, clinking, back into place.
“I think you were better off with the old one,” said Snape, the malice in his voice unmistakable. “The new one looks weak.”

literally just fuck you dude. 

- OMG and hes taking away like 70 points from gryffindor this is tew much so early in the term like LAY OFF BRO

- omg AND harry missed the feast. at least he gets some dessert. also nearly headless nick is here so like whatever, things are good enough i guess

“‘Harry Potter knows that he can confide in me with the complete confidence,’ I told them. ‘I would rather die than betray his trust.’”
“That’s not saying much, seeing as you’re already dead,” Ron observed.
“Once again, you show all the sensitivity of a blunt axe,” said Nearly Headless Nick in affronted tones.

lol even the ghosts are sick of savage ron’s shit 

- everyone in the hall looks at dumbleores dead crumply old hand and is shook and hes just like ‘LOL everythings fine!’ BISH PLZ

- smh snape is the new DADA prof. i knew it was coming but it still hurts.

“Well, there’s one good thing,” he said savagely, “Snape’ll be gone by the end of the year.”
“What do you mean?” asked Ron.
“That job’s jinxed. No one’s lasted more than a year… Quirrell actually died doing it… Personally, I’m going to keep my fingers crossed for another death…”
“Harry!” said Hermione, shocked and reproachful.

BOOM. ROASTEd.

Hermione had darted ahead to fulfill her prefect’s duty of shepherding the first years, but Ron remained with Harry. 
“What really happened to your nose?” he asked, once they were a the very back of the throng pressing out of the Hall, and out of earshot of anyone else.
Harry told him. It was a mark of the strength of their friendship that Ron did not laugh.

literally BAFFLES me how anyone can hate ron and think hes a shitty friend. this makes my heart squeal. 

- HAGRID BB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! missed u

- WHAT THE FUCK YOU GUYS. why did NONE of yall take care of magical creatures. fucking disrespectful. hagrids gonna cry and itll be YOUR FAULT (me talking to the trio, not u reading this obvi. dont worry, hagrid still loves YOU)

WELP if you liked this, follow me for more chapters!

anonymous asked:

jesus christ DR is a franchise about MURDER for god's sake why are the "it's problematic to like fictional characters who do bad things" crowd still around in the year of our lord 2017 yes our faves are trash sometimes we KNOW THIS ALREADY smh

literally every dr2 character sans chiaki is a mass murderer and terrorist so i mean. it’s fiction. honestly? ship what you want. like who you want. who cares. they aren’t even real, jim

Okay but… After thinking back to the less popular game FFVII: Dirge of Cerberus, I came to the conclusion that Tsviets could almost totally be RWBY characters.

Just look at them. One by one.

Here is Rosso. Aka Rosso the Crimson. Rosso means “red” and as you can see she is covered in red, her outfit, her hair, her eyes, and the title. SO MUCH RED.

Now take a look at her weapon

I am not entirely sure what to call it, but as you can see there are two blades and plus she can shoot from the middle part. Basically, IT’S ALSO A GUN.

Still not convinced?

Keep reading

10

i’m still so sad she divorced him to get with chris wood. they looked so happy and had so much project together, they wanted to make a movie together, they had dogs together, they seemed so happy when they bought their first house? always making jokes and shit, he supported her throughtout supergirl and she supported him for his movie. then one day boom she wants a divorce, and a week later is kissing chris wood at the beach. all pictures of each other deleted from their instagram, just like that. smh.

ps: also how many times does she wear that freaking red stripe tee shirt. also we all know she cheated.

even after switching to an iphone i still think youre wild phony if you subscribe to that weird “haw haw android users” shit like you sound like a first grader with name brand shoes making fun of the kid in the batmans

same people will talk allllllll that good shit about capitalism being violent and oppressive then turn around and look down on people that picked the option that allowed them to have a phone that wont fuck up their pockets smh

mikapeanut  asked:

Hey, how u doing? :) Would you do Hcs of the Strawhats, Sabo, Shanks and Thatch's (?) s/o which is pregnant and is going into the labor soon? If u don't mind I mean! :) Sorry for my bad english.. My native language is german😅 Btw, love ur blog!!❤

Mir geht es sehr gut, dankeschön! :D Und ich liebe solche requests <3

Sanji, SaboChopper and Jinbe

  • the overprotective worryballs
  • one worse than the other
  • you couldn’t even decide who is the most doting
  • ok I lied, Sanji wins this
  • but Chopper, Jinbe and Sabo are strongly competing for the 2nd place
  • Jinbe tries to be the most mature and reasonable tho, he tries at least yes
  • Chopper is crying/mad all the time “(NAME) DON’T GET HURT THIS IS DANGEROUS”, Chopper…they’re literally just washing their hands…
  • In fact Sabo would be the most lax out of these idiots, but you better don’t look at his very pregnant s/o in a threatening way
  • Absolutely turn whatever island they’re on upside down to get whatever s/o is craving
  • *Sabo/Jinbe/Chopper/Sanji hectically opening at least 30 packages of ice cream* “I didn’t know which one you wanted so I just got every flavor they had.”

Nami, Thatch, Usopp, Carrot and Brook

  • Yesss they’re def all pretty protective
  • It’s not like they flip shit like the ones above (smh), but still they try to be doting and loving and make very pregnant s/o feel good
  • Carrot is less responsible that the others but damn she’d try to better herself
  • Nami is threatening everyone, like everybody, they better not annoy pregnant s/o
  • Brook would be the most protective but he’d also be the most hyped for the kid, alongside Carrot
  • Like you’d hear them say: “Is the baby coming already?”, aaaall day long
  • Thatch is cute, he’s just protective, doting and wants to make his s/o laugh, he loves the glow that his s/o is having due to the pregnancy
  • Usopp is cautious and often tells his s/o to watch out and not hurt themself but nothing ridiculous

Shanks, Robin and Franky

  • Hey look the reasonable AND responsible ones :D
  • Know exactly what someone who got pregnant needs and what is healthy
  • I’d say shanks is a little more relying on help from others, than Franky and Robin, who can handle literally every mood/craving/etc all by themself
  • They’re protective but nothing exaggerated, they just tell their s/o to not strain themself and keep an eye on them
  • When they’re away they ask other people they trust to keep an eye on them and call them if something happens
  • Needs help getting? Or walking upstairs? All done deals, Robin, Franky and Shanks are there for them
  • Lbr Franky will cry the bigger the belly gets and everytime he feels the baby kick

Luffy and Zoro

  • oh man, these two are as laid-back as ever
  • somebody would have to kick or hit them out of their relaxed/idiotic state and tell them to take the pregnancy thing more seriously
  • Zoro does better than Luffy for sure tho
  • He’d be a little more touchy with his s/o and have an arm around their shoulders whenever they’re out
  • And Zoro is generally also a little more watchful 
  • Luffy would be like he’s ever, but he’d also bug his s/o like there is no tomorrow 
  • “When is the baby coming? Is it a boy or a girl? Can we name them Ace? Even if it’s a girl?”
  • Luffy would also pout at the fact that Sanji is spoiling his s/o with food because of their cravings

anonymous asked:

Jealousy headcannons for the s & m brothers

SHU

-silent treatment

-acts cold (“it’s none of my business…”)

-still a little bitter after lover apologizes

-gives lover a warning if they push their luck (hugging someone else, etc.)

REIJI

-might kill who he’s jealous of if it gets too out of hand

-looks down on lover (smh)

-doesn’t help lover with anything (no tutor, no saving, etc.)

-makes lover’s life and other party’s life absolute hell

AYATO

-snaps at everything his lover says

-mocks his lover under his breath (“hehe, don’t~ *huff*)

-“I don’t want to see that” *stalks to become more salty*

-loses it after like two days and goes ape shit on his lover

LAITO

-gives 3 warnings

-probs almost kills lover after that

-“wouldn’t it be a shame if someone were to… burn all your clothes?”

-Arnold fist meme at everything

KANATO

-imagine a child seeing their toy be stolen

-now imagine that child setting someone on fire

-lover is probs gonna be locked in a cage

-scremin

SUBARU

-blinded rage (destroys everything #bye)

-he’ll think his lover doesn’t want him anymore

-“he/she/they’re better off without me…!”

-he’ll distance himself

RUKI

-super pissy

-acts like his lover doesn’t exist

-secretly finds ways to get his lover away from the person he’s jealous of

-gLARE

KOU

-trips the person he’s jealous of

-puts gum on your shoe ("it’s a metaphor”)

-probs stalks lover and takes pictures for blackmail

-will yell at lover TO NOTICE HIM

YUMA

-he will NOT have it

-slams doors

-have fun making your own food b*tch

-beats the shit out of the person he’s jealous of

AZUSA

-maximum stalk

-leaves messages saying “who dat I don’t like him”

-locks lover in their room forever tbh

-tortures the person he’s jealous of bc he’s secretly the saltiest about this

  • me: ya i did a lot of research and i think i have bpd bc X, Y, & Z
  • psychiatrist: bpd is a rare diagnosis though (:
  • me: call out post @ me for looking for Attention making it up all along all my """Mental Illnesses""" have been A Lie the whole time when there is really Nothing Wrong i am not a Real Mentally Ill Person smh thank you for realizing im truly just a Piece Of Shit

sleevesareforlosers  asked:

if ur still taking prompts do you have any thoughts on an SMH camping trip?

Bro, absolutely: 

  • Going camping is Chowder’s idea to start with, but Ransom and Holster are the ones that make sure the trip actually happens. They choose a campsite and make sure that everyone has all the materials they need and Holster even makes a playlist. 
  • That said, Ransom and Holster have absolutely no idea what they’re doing. They think that three bags of marshmallows are necessary and forget to pack almost any other food. 
    • Thank goodness for Bitty being the Mom Friend™ and knowing to pack enough for everyone anyways.
  • Farmer, Chowder, Bitty, and Dex are the only people in the squad who have ever been camping before. 
    • Dex is super excited to see Nursey in the wild. He wants him to try to be chill with potential bugs crawling in his tent he’s so excited he’s j u st
    • Nursey wants to write poetry and compare his unrequited crush to the beauties of nature. Leave him alone, Dex. 
  • The trip starts off just with SMH members, but Farmer has been hiking and camping since she was three and really wants to go. Chowder can’t say no to her. 
    • Also! He gets to see his girlfriend in nature in nike shorts walking through undergrowth w/ her powerful and glorious thunder thighs on display and he is just! So excited and overwhelmed. 
  • Lowkey Chowder is a Camping God. He always knows which direction to take to get to the camp ground. He knows which plants to warn the team about before the rest of the team even notices said plants. Could probably survive in the wilderness for months and would still be more upbeat and perfect than u. 
    • The only reason he hasn’t seriously considered doing so is because he really likes being around people and would miss taro boba. Taro boba fuels him. 
  • Lardo stays home. Lardo does not go on camping trips. She did that once in fifth grade and burned down three cabins. It’s the only time in her life she’s been less than Flawless™
    • When asked to explain how she started the cabin fires, she declines. All you need to know is that she is not going on this trip. Larissa Duan refuses to die in the woods. 
  • Jack and Shitty are both excited for the trip and drive up to join the team. 
    • Shitty wants to be naked in the woods. ‘nuff said. 
    • Jack is going for the #aesthetic. Let my artsy-hipster-photographer son take pictures of his boyfriend the sun dappling through the leaves and the almost fictional looking babbling brooks and the old pieces of junk that people forgot and nature reclaimed. Unlock his camera. Permit him. 
  • They do that whole thing where they sit around a campfire and roast marshmallows and hot dogs. It’s almost too cute. 
    • Nursey keeps on accidentally setting his marshmallow on fire and pouting about it (which is lowkey killing Dex… Nursey has no idea how weak Dex is for Nursey’s puppy-dog look. Someone help him.)
    • Dex grumpily gives Nursey his perfectly golden-tan marshmallow after about the fourth time Nursey ruins his. 
    • Chowder and Farmer actually like eating charred marshmallows. 
      • Bitty doesn’t understand.. he’s cryign… who consumes blackened sugar?? 
  • If Bitty gets cold then it only makes sense that Jack would give him his jacket. Just platonic bros being dudes. 
  • Holster brings his ukelele and sings the Campfire Song Song after they’re done eating. 
    • He may or may not sing it several times in a row before switching to singing acoustic versions of Coldplay and shit. It’s kind of amazing, actually. 
  • When they go to sleep Nursey finds a bug in his tent and freaks out. Chowder owes Dex ten dollars. 
    • But now Nursey feels nervous about his tent… it looks like he’s sharing with Dex… oh no….
  • Everyone has a nice and wholesome time. 

anonymous asked:

Do you dislike hanzo?

I love him as much as he was Quan Chi’s favorite –

Look, I love him, but you can’t deny he’s a bit easy to manipulate into doing what you want him to, and that he still, after twenty years of being alive, keeps the title of “Unrelenting Hot Head”. 

Then again, I’m not sure I can blame him – the compilation keeps throwing tragedies at him and while everyone else (excluding Takeda, bless his little face) just sort of looks on as a “not my business” kind of attitude. Raiden gets his whole clan murdered and all he says “woops my bad, i said sorry now stop complaining about it”.

i'm so festive how about more tdm christmas

•rubiam morning cuddles in Christmas pjs aw yisss

•ruby having tousled hair and a sleepy look in her eyes in her pjs and she just looks super cute and Liam’s just like ‘good shit good shit 👀👀👀💯💯💯 that’s some g👀d shit right there’

•honestly their candy cane consumption is too much for two people how have they not gone into a sugar induced coma yet

•also candy cane Chapstick aka how many times can they use the excuse 'my lips are chapped kiss me bc you have Chapstick on’ excuse. the answer is too many.

•Christmas music playing 24/7

•liam is absolutely that person who puts antlers and a red nose on his car smh what a nerd

•when Liam and Ruby are still living at home his mom puts up hella mistletoe (front door, living room, even Liam’s doorway) because she’s rubiam shipper af and he’s embarrassed at first but by the end of the month he’s like praise hands mom thanks for helping me kiss my gf

•since rubys birthday is so close to
Christmas Liam struggles with two awesome gifts in such a short amount of time but he always manages to pull it off

•they throw an ugly Christmas sweater party and even vida wears one

•Zu is the real mvp of cookie decorating she puts everyone to shame honestly