and it still came out as shit

MARTHA STEWART GOT ME FUCKED UP

I’M TRYING TO RECREATE HER RECIPE FOR A CHOCOLATE MINT TORTE AND THIS BITCH JUST WILL NOT BAKE AND I’M AT MY WITS END. I’VE DONE EVERYTHING CORRECTLY AND HAVE NEVER COME ACROSS A PROBLEM WHILE BAKING UNTIL THIS RECIPE CAME ALONG, TOOK MY SANITY AND DESTROYED IT IN FRONT OF MY VERY EYES. THIS PIECE OF SHIT POOR EXCUSE OF A CAKE IS SUPPOSED TO TAKE 25 FUCKING MINUTES TO BAKE BUT EVEN AFTER LETTING IT BAKE FOR 2 HOURS AT 325°F LIKE I’M SUPPOSED TO IT STILL COMES OUT RAW AS FUCK. SHIT BARELY BAKES AT THE TOP AND BOTTOM AND LEAVES A GOOEY DISGUSTING MIDDLE TO TRIGGER YOUR GAG REFLEX. IT DON’T EVEN TASTE LIKE CHOCOLATE MINT, IT TASTES LIKE COFFEE GROUNDS MIXED WITH MINT AND FUCKING SADNESS. THAT’S NOT WHAT A TORTE IS SUPPOSED TO BE BUT ACCORDING TO MARTHA FUCKING STEWART THIS SQUISHY INEDIBLE MESS IS A WONDERFUL TORTE. A LITTLE KID WITH NO KNOWLEDGE OF BAKING EQUIPPED WITH AN EASY BAKE OVEN COULD MAKE SOMETHING BETTER.

FUCK YOU MARTHA STEWART.

the only reason i didn’t lose my mind waking up to a text from my own father sending me a photo me of his fucking trump flag this morning, is that my ancestors survived fucking Andrew Jackson. They survived the forced removal from our ancestral homelands, my apache ancestors fought and resisted the government for hundreds of years and they all faced the same attempted genocide. My matriarchs had it doubly as hard, and still survived and came out stronger and with more wisdom then ever. today i look up to my ancestors for strength and guidance in this difficult and extremely heart wrenching time.

It’s hard to imagine moving forward without Carrie Fisher, but her legacy will remain even if she is not physically with us. She was someone who went through shit in life and still came out of it a princess. We all may never star in one of the most famous movies of all time, or be award winning authors, or help write one of the most famous Star Wars movies of all time, or be able to tweet with emojis in witty and hilarious ways, but we can all still be like Carrie. She survived, she thrived, she owned who she was. She was just as much of a rebel as Leia is.

We can carry on with Carrie’s legacy by loving ourselves and fighting for ourselves and being the kind of people that Carrie would be proud of. Whether it be writing that story you’ve been dying to tell, looking in the mirror and saying “this is my body and I fucking love it!”, or just simply getting up in the morning again and again keep moving forward. She would want to know that she is survived by a legacy of girls who give no fucks and who fight for themselves and who were inspired by everything Carrie gave to the world.

May the Force be with you, Carrie. You’ll always be royalty to me.

14 million subscribers? that’s fucking insane! i’m so glad that i can be a part of such a kind and understanding community. jack’s videos have helped make me happier and i’m really glad i came across his channel. to jacksepticeye, the future of the channel, and many more videos !

I know most of u hate Halsey for stupid reasons but no offense…. she literally is working her ass off and has been for the past 2 years and it’s paying off and she did a huge fuckin show at Madison square garden this year and she literally came from being homeless and dropping out of community college and being a lost teenager who didn’t rly know what to make of herself to like??? Living her dreams??? And making music that people care about??? And she’s really inspiring no matter what u think of her??? She still struggles w her mental disorder and she uses music as a channel of communication and coping??? and she writes about sex and love and happiness and sadness and all the shit in between those things and she keeps going and producing what she loves and knows and loving her life and recognizing how lucky she is even tho people shit all over her for it and they whitewash her and they pretend like she’s a joke and she’s just like hm … okay anyways …. and idk that’s just cool and she’s cool as hell

So. It’s head canon time again.

I have not seen nearly enough Johnny Weir content in this fandom and I intend to rectify that. Cause you better BELIEVE young, queer baby, figure skater Eric Richard Bittle would have lost his shit over Johnny Weir. Johnny Weir came out in 2011 when Bitty would have been about 15 and like. You know that boy cried. Especially after all the shit Weir put up with in regards to speculation about his gender and sexuality.  He has a framed, signed Johnny Weir poster still hanging up in his childhood bedroom and loudly tells the story of how he came into possession of that poster to anyone who will listen— mostly when he’s drunk. It isn’t a very interesting story. He won it in a fan contest.

Now fast forward to after Jack has publicly come out and imagine that he and Bitty are on a date somewhere, maybe at a bar or a restaurant, and Johnny Weir walks in the door. So, of course, Bitty loses his goddamn mind like:

“Holy shit. Holy shit. Jack, Jaaaaaaaack.”

“What? What’s wrong?”

“Good lord, pinch me, I’m pretty damn sure that’s Johnny Weir who just walked in!”

“… Ehh, who?”

To be fair, Jack had a lot going on during Weir’s rise to fame (what with juniors and then the OD and then the getting-his-life-back-together stuff) and he never really followed figure skating all that closely (or at all). But Jack is pretty sure he just broke Bitty because he is giving Jack this wide-eyed, rattled sort of stare and he just—

Who is Johnny Weir? You don’t know how Johnny Weir is?”

“No???” This is the wrong answer.

“Jack. Johnny Weir is THE pop culture icon – the Beyoncé, if you will – of men’s figure skating, and you know I don’t make that kind of comparison lightly. You not knowing who Johnny Weir is…That’s like if Sidney Crosby walked in right now and I went ‘Hey, Jack. Who’s that guy over there who stole your ass?’ That’s like – that’s like if –“

“Like if your boyfriend’s dad was Bob Zimmermann and you had to google him when you found out?”

“Shut up! That was different!

“How was that different, Bittle?”

“Well… well… you don’t say ‘pecan’ right!

“We are not having this discussion again.”

Because all of Jack and Bitty’s arguments somehow work their way back to the pronunciation of ‘pecan.’

And when Johnny Weir starts walking over, Bitty maybe hyperventilates just a little because I mean, it’s his childhood idol and he’s sitting here with his queer NHL star boyfriend and HOW did his life BECOME like this? Johnny says hi and introduces himself (Bittle is trying so hard to keep it together) and mentions how happy he was for Jack when he came out. Maybe they have a short chat about that kind of thing, how even in this day and age it’s hard to be a publicly queer athlete. Jack carefully avoids having to know anything about Weir’s career, to Bitty’s gratitude, and casually mentions that his boyfriend (he still relishes in getting to use the term) Eric here used to skate in the juniors.

Bitty actually gets to have a conversation with Johnny Weir about figure skating and manages to stay moderately cool under pressure and truly his entire existence is a surreal simulation. Eventually Weir leaves to go re-join his own party and throughout the rest of the night Bitty will just periodically stop in his tracks and turn to Jack and whisper:

We just met Johnny Weir.

“Yes, Bitty.”

Johnny Weir knows who my boyfriend is. Johnny Weir knows my name.

“Yes, I know Bitty. I was there.”

Jack – Johnny Weir.”

“I’m gonna start reading pecan pie recipes off my phone if you don’t cut it out.”

Ransom and Holster had a bit of a problem with one of their frogs. You see, their infamous spreadsheet could do no wrong. Hell, four of their matchups were already engaged. Their program knew its shit, but it kept spitting out errors and garbledegook when they tried to find a date for Bitty. Then Bitty came out to them, and that– that had to explain it. So as soon as they had the opportunity to finally input the right dataset into their spreadsheet, they waited gleefully for the new results, but–

JACK ZIMMERMANN

Ransom and Holster just kind of gaped at their laptop, a bit upset that their program would go so wrong, still. They’d never had this much trouble with another Wellie since– well, since Jack, but then they’d found a link and– well, he and Camilla had been a thing for a while, but nothing else had really come from it.

After a long discussion with eyebrows and hand gestures, Holster threw his hands up and cried, “Fine! But I don’t think it’ll–” as Ransom reconfigured Jack’s algorithm and–

ERIC BITTLE

Holster shouted, “BROOOO” while Ransom just kind of stared and muttered, “But, wait, I didn’t think that would really work– I thought we’d get the same mess that Bitty got before we–”

“Oh shit do you–?”

“D'you think they–?”

They were interrupted by a loud, “PECAN! – Pe-can? – PECAN!” drifting up through both flights of stairs.

Then Ransom and Holster clutched each other close and gushed, “Soulmates!

RFA Music Taste

Zen:

  • He’ll listen to just about anything
  • Broadway music obviously
  • Disney songs is an absolute yes
  • Anything musical really
  • But still enjoys bands like Panic at the disco

Yoosung:

  • Disney songs
  • Never what’s popular
  • He’ll listen to songs that came out years ago and act like it’s the greatest shit ever
  • Movie soundtracks while trying to work
  • Lowkey listens to meme songs

Jaehee:

  • Zens musicals obviously
  • Other then that she’ll just listen to whatever is on the radio
  • Classic songs from the 70’s and what not

Jumin:

  • Classical music
  • Instrumentals
  • Lowkey likes twentyone-pilots
  • Lowkey loves musical songs
  • (MC once caught him singing “summer lovin” from Grease to Elizabeth)

Saeyoung (707):

  • Anything and everything
  • One day he’ll be blasting Disney music
  • And the next it’s ACDC
  • Then the next moment it’s “Never gonna give you up”
  • But his favorites are Fall out boy and any meme song
  • Probably knows the entire soundtrack for “Nightmare before christmas”

V:

  • Classical and Instrumental like jumin
  • Unlike jumin, that’s pretty much all he listens too
  • He finds it peaceful to listen to while he takes pictures

Saeran (Unknown):

  • E d g e  l o r d
  • FOB, MCR, T0P, P!ATD, Three days grace,
  • Anything edgy or about pain and sadness
  • Hes there, because relatable
  • He’ll listen to some ‘pick me up’ type songs, like “You’ll be okay” by a Great big world, if he gets to sad
  • But mainly edgy as fuck music

I underestimated Lola and I am so pleasantly surprised at how hard I’ve fallen in love with her this season. 

This girl. The so-called “dumb one”, which she is clearly not. *Exhales* Has more sense than most of her peers and damn near all of the Degrassi alumni when it comes to love.

Sure, the shit she pulled with Shiny in the first season was shady but once she got confirmation out of Tiny’s mouth that he was in love with Shay, she LEFT. She declined his offer to stay with her regardless. No, she said she wasn’t nobody’s second choice and there wasn’t shit else to talk about after that.

Sure, she mourned the break-up for months after but it came more from not having someone than not having Tiny himself. 

And then along came Miles. Sparks flew. A true bond was formed. She accepted his bisexuality AND she accepted that he was with someone else. But it still came from a place of dignity because she had no expectations of him becoming her man, officially. She just wanted to feel good and she made him feel just AS good, hell, probably even better. 

What probably impressed me most of all was the fact that she didn’t immediately see a shotgun wedding with Miles or the opportunity to get some five, six figure child support checks coming in the mail the minute she found out she was pregnant.

It was like “Nah, fam, fuck it, I’m good. Straight to the mawfuckin’ chop-chop”

The fact that she even went through with the abortion without getting a chance to even tell Miles shows that she kept it REAL and wasn’t looking for him to say something that might make her change her mind. Lola would NEVER feel secure if she had to use a baby(though it takes two to make one, I acknowledge that) to get a dude to wanna be with her when he told her from the jump that he’s not leaving his man. She would once again find herself feeling like second best; a pain she’s not trying to relive.

Though her Tiny/Shay situation was much different, the lesson was essentially the same(you can’t pressure/manipulate a nigga for his time and affections, it will ALWAYS backfire) and it only took her ONE time, just ONE TIME, to learn it. Which(spoken with love) was much a faster growth than her predecessors Alli Bhandari and Manny Santos had. That’s rare for a person her age(and even some grown ass men and women), both on Degrassi and the real world; that’s why I’m so proud of her.

Nonetheless, Miles confirmed(to his own boyfriend’s FACE at that) that he DOES love her and though she doesn’t consciously know that, I’m sure she can feel it/sense it. STILL, with the circumstances at hand, she did the right thing, the smart thing and the mature thing. So if they EVER have another chance, this is why she’d deserve it and why I’ve gained so much respect for her. That’s a real ass chick and Miles has ALWAYS been a MAN about his shit. 

The honesty is what captures my heart the most between the Mola pairing.

  • what she says: i'm fine.
  • what she actually means: the book of life is an extremely underrated movie and needs more love asap. It has everything a good story needs. It's about growing up, has action, adventure, MUSIC, humour, romance, strong female and male characters. Hey also it will probably make you cry. Damn like it probably has the best god damn ot3 you'll ever have the pleasure of spending one hour and thirty five minutes with too??? Also did I mention its animation is fucking beautiful?

Even if they never grow out of their nerdy looks and generally sweet personalities I can totally see the kids together being well known in high school as the kids you don’t want to mess with, even lowkey badasses, although it’s all based off of rumors. Just think of it:

“Ah! That’s Will Byers, in middle school he was presumed dead for a whole week and suddenly came back like it was nothing! He even had a funeral and everything!!”

“That’s Lucas Sinclair! I heard he once yelled at agents of the FBI ‘Eat Shit!’ And chased them away with nothing but a slingshot!”

“Her? She’s Elle Hoppers, she’s the adopted daughter of the chief, not only you don’t want to mess with his princess but there’s also rumours she can… Do things… Weird things…”

“The boy standing next to her is Mike Wheeler, I heard once he jumped off the forest’s cliff and survived! Although… Some crazier rumors say he flew back to the top…”

“Oh! And the one with the messy hair? That’s Dustin Henderson… I heard he took on the WORST bully in the middle school, and SURVIVED”

“They’re literally always together, whispering and sharing knowing looks all the time as if they belonged to some elite club. They say the five of them were involved with the FBI at some point… Some think they found out about a conspiracy in Hawkins, others say they are secret agents, no one really knows the truth.”

And so, people are generally nervous to be in their way even when all you need is five seconds around them to realize they’re such DORKS! Just think of a rushed freshman who accidentally runs into El in the school’s hallways and he’s TERRIFIED! Already shaking of what the mysterious chief’s daughter could do just if you stand in her way… Much to their surprise El gives them a hand to help them up and does a small comment about liking their school bag before walking away, leaving the confused freshman wondering what sort of deity had mercy to spare his soul.

Bonus:
“There they go again, what do you think they’re all discussing? Looking like they’re planing some big secret event…”

Meanwhile the kids…

“Dungeons and Dragons in my basement? Who brings the Eggos?”

3

Okay but can we talk about how there is 12 of YOI topic related trending in twitter japan when ep 10 came out??? I know its really popular, but holy shit!

1. VikuYuu marriage
2. Yuri episode 10
5. YOI10
6. Pole-dance
7. OtaYuri
8. Wedding ring
10. #第10滑走 (tbh not sure what this mean)
11. Otabek
12. Dance battle
13. Ring exchange
14. Engagement ring
15. Phichit-kun

Lots of people have done things at age 13 that wound up following them the rest of their lives, but it’s rarely anything good (most likely an event that resulted in a crude genital or feces-based nickname). Well, Zack Ward made this little Christmas movie 33 years ago, and still gets stopped on the street. He probably always will.

“It happens all the time, it’s bizarre. I’m 47, I wear glasses, and still everywhere I go, two or three times a week. Johnny Depp came up to me once, Snoop Dogg came up to me and was like ‘Hey, man, aren’t you that guy I wanted to beat the shit out of when I was a kid?’”

Keep in mind, when A Christmas Story was released in 1983 it only made $19 million (for comparison, the long-forgotten helicopter action movie Blue Thunder, made 42 million that year). But now it’s impossible to get through the holiday season without seeing at least a clip of it (TNT does a 24-hour marathon of just this movie on Christmas Eve every year). It took the cast a few years to realize they had something iconic on their hands.

My Bizarre Life After Playing The Bully In A Christmas Story

2

2/? of my kacchako cosplay series! 

Tumblr blew out my colors a bit on this one, but here’s the timeless Fuugen! Samurai Champloo came out like a decade ago and I’m still not over this pairing.  I still go back and read some of my favorite fics and rewatch portions every now and then. The characterization and interactions between those two is just out of this world and kacchako reminds me SO MUCH of them. Don’t even get me started on the parallels lol. I really feel like Ochako has no fear of giving Katsuki a hard time and calling him on his shit, and I also feel like once he’s comfortable around her, Bakugou would tease Uraraka until she got so miffed she’d probably start floating. I picture her trying not to rise to the bait and attempting to control her emotions until Bakugou says something inappropriate for the 10th time and sets her off. Picturing these two going at it like Mugen and Fuu makes me laugh! Total fit. and yes momo is the UA president lol i had to

this one is dedicated to @saisai-chan for being such an awesome contributor to the kacchako tag with amazing meta breakdowns, cute fics, and such adorable art! I live for angry pomeranian Bakugou now and it’s entirely your fault. 

You can find my inukag piece here 

next up is zutara! 

everytime i think of marriage equality here and how our chancellor has “bad stomach feelings” about it i think of the pastor that did my confirmation when i was 14, who was a lesbian trans woman and since she and her wife got married before she came out etc. the marriage is still legal. so technically, we already have our first gay marriage, and it’s between a lesbian and her trans wife who is still working as a pastor

eat shit, merkel

Period

I just found your blog and saw you were doing requests. Can you do one where the reader has been on the island for a month and she has her period and Pan and the lost boys don’t know what to do when she gets moody and has her cramps ..

warnings: mild swearing
848 words

You always knew this day would come. It lay in the deep recesses of your mind, allowing you to live in ignorant bliss with a false sense of freedom until the day came again, and it seemed as if you had forgotten a day like this even existed in all the excitement surrounding your arrival in Neverland. And although time is frozen here on the island, the days - and months - still go on as usual, bring you ever-closer to…

Your period.

And it was total shit.

“Out of my way,” you sniped at one of the younger Lost Boys, who was rolling around in a fit of giggles in front of the weapons pile. “Fucking move,” you commanded again, quite irritated when he didn’t budge. The small boy scurried away as you selected your pick of daggers to train with that day, grumbling in pain all the while.

It hurt like hell, the cramps. All you wanted to do was lay in your cot and die, but alas, there was work to be done on the island, and you would not be thought helpless amongst the boys, whom you had gained respect from this past month.

It had been a couple of days since your menstrual cycle had begun, and the Lost Boys were quite taken aback by your foul mood. Sure, you were already sharp-tongued and authoritative, but you had never been so…bitchy. And scary. Good God, the boys had no idea what to do with you. Hell, you had nearly sliced off Felix’s ear after he asked you what was wrong. He barely had anytime to dodge the dagger you chucked at him, just missing his head by a hair.

You had had enough of dealing with your period in the uncomfortable conditions of your tent for two nights, so this evening, you planned to walk to the beach. Exercise had always alleviated the pain, so perhaps this would also help your mood.

Nothing.

This walk had helped with nothing, and you were lying in the sand, clutching at your abdomen, cursing and swearing as you rode out the waves of pain.

“Tut, tut. Such foul language, dearest,” drawled a voice from behind.

“Fuck off, Pan,” you seethed. You sat up, knowing full well that he probably would do anything but that. Peter Pan took a seat next to you, chuckling as he did so.

“Touchy, are we?”

You snarled at him.

“I’m afraid to ask, since you almost gave Felix another scar when he popped the question but, I’m intrigued. What is the matter, love?”

You sighed, mostly out of annoyance rather than surrender. “Fine,” you began. “I’m on my period.”

Pan looked at you blankly. “Your-”

“Period? You know, menstrual cycle? Every month there’s a week where blood gushes out of my vagi-”

“I KNOW, I KNOW WHAT IT IS!” Pan heaved, face a bit blanched as he looked at you with a strange expression, mouth a bit open and gaping as his cheeks tinged pink. You didn’t know what to make of his face. And you don’t know what it was, but something in his features seemed almost comical in that moment, and you giggled. You laughed.

You chortled.

Pan hadn’t the slightest clue what to do as he just gaped at your insanity, and pretty soon, he was chuckling as well. You were lying on the sand clutching your abdomen once more, not in pain this time, but in laughter. Pan simply gazed down at you, secretly relieved that you didn’t seem to be hurting.

After the bubbling glee had died down somewhat, you were left with a small smile upon your lips.

“Ah, that’s better,” Pan said.

“What is?”

“Well, you’re not snarling at me, so that’s always good.” You scowled at him, and he laughed again. “What I mean to say is that it’s better now that you’re smiling. Or, you were, at least.”

You smirked at that and turned away from him to face the ocean, rising up on your elbows. Although you had forgotten about the pain for a while, you could feel it edging back now, and you huffed in protest.

“Do you need anything?”

You raised a brow and looked at him. Did the magic-wielding jerk just offer his help?

“Why are you looking at me like that?” He eyed you suspiciously, and you stared at him for a long moment before replying.

“Tea, would be nice. And some more cloth.”

Pan smirked at your request. “Anything else, Your Highness?”

“Hey-” you tossed a bit of sand at him. “You asked.” Pan chuckled and stood up, offering you a hand. You got up as well, and as you brushed sand off your clothes, Pan could barely refrain from asking his next question.

“Does it hurt?”

A mischievous glint cast over your eye as you replied smoothly, “Not as much as it does to have talk to you.”

“Alright, alright.” Pan ran a hand through his dusty brown hair, and you smiled to yourself as the pair of you walked back to camp together.

Overwatch Characters as Memes

Genji

Swiggity swooty I’ve got the booty

McCree

Tracer: Oh no I’ve lost McCree in the crowd.

Tracer *using hands to yell*: DOES ANYONE KNOW THE TIME??

McCree in the distance: IT’S HIGH NOON!!!

Tracer: There he is.

Pharah

Reaper

Soldier 76

Every dad meme ever, all of them

Tracer

Bastion

Some scrub: How do I get play of the game???

Bastion:

Originally posted by icefoxn64

Hanzo

Hanzo: I must live with the constant overwhelming guilt knowing that I am my brother’s killer.

Genji: Stop telling everyone I’m dead!

Hanzo: Sometimes I can still hear his voice.

Junkrat

Mei

Torbjorn

Everyone: Hoe don’t do it…

Torbjorn: Molten cORRREEEE!!!!

Everyone: Oh my god.

Widowmaker

Someone: But everyone feels love!!!!

Widowmaker: Okay…. that sounds fake but okay.

D.Va

She is her own meme

Reinhardt:

Originally posted by pinkargylesweater

Roadhog

I came out to attack people and I’m honestly having such a good time!

Winston

I’m McFreakin losing it!

Zarya

👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀 good shit go౦ԁ shit 👌 thats ✔ some good👌👌shit right👌👌there👌👌👌 right✔there ✔✔if i do ƽaү so my self 💯 i say so 💯 thats what im talking about right there right there (chorus: ʳᶦᵍʰᵗ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ) mMMMMᎷМ💯 👌👌 👌НO0ОଠOOOOOОଠଠOoooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ👌 👌👌 👌 💯 👌 👀 👀 👀 👌👌Good shit

Lucio

Mercy

Symmetra

Some scrub: Symmetra is an awful hero, her turrets are shit and her portal is always gone when I really need it

Symmetra:

Zenyatta