and it hurts because i love posting here so much

Because he deserves so much love. (picture)


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have some thoughts on the blakes

because i am making myself sad so u all have to suffer with me.

here’s the thing. i see a lot of posts about how octavia doesn’t love bellamy as much as he loves her, and that hurts my heart so much, because as a younger sibling myself i see such a mirror reflection of my relationship with my sister, in the blake’s.

i believe 100% that octavia loves bellamy every bit as much as he loves her; she just loves differently. bellamy’s love is overbearing and consuming, he’s all or nothing with it. he’s the kind of person who has to see and feel his loved ones, to be constantly sure they’re alright. sure, he’ll let them leave and he’ll respect them if they need some space, but left to his own devices, he would follow behind them constantly, watching their backs.

octavia isn’t like that. she craves freedom, from everything, freedom to be her own person. she craves the kind of self-rule she never had on the ark. she gets restless and she needs to be constantly moving, she needs to have something to focus on, like her grounder training or her relationship with lincoln, or whatever war is happening. otherwise she goes nuts because she feels like she’s staying in one spot, trapped, just like she was as a kid.

octavia’s the kind of person who could go two weeks without u checking in, and be fine with it. she’s fine with long-distance love, she doesn’t see the point in being together 24/7. because she’s off doing her own thing, but that doesn’t mean her love is any less important or existent. just because it’s less obvious, doesn’t mean it’s ultimately less

there are a few things that i think show this–her need to explain herself to bellamy when she decides she has to leave arkadia, how she looks so nervous because she doesn’t want him to think he’s the reason, and she doesn’t want to make him upset, she needs him to understand–her blatant relief when she finds him in mt. weather and immediately leaps into his arms, smiling for the first time in weeks before looking close to tears because she was so worried and came so close to losing him and they aren’t even safe yet–her utter joy when she sees him in the dropship that first time, the first time in a year, and again the first thing she does is hug him, possibly because she also needs that tactile comfort but probably because she knows that’s what he needs–the fact that she chose him over lincoln and the grounders twice–the fact that she stayed in arkadia, a place she clearly does not feel safe in, around people she clearly does not like, most likely for bellamy’s sake–how often she’s put herself in danger “for her people,” but how many of those people does she even like, besides her brother? tbh all of those moments were probably for bellamy lbr–

and then we have things like “i won’t let anything hurt you.” think about how fucking dramatic and extra bellamy is; he’s probably told o the story of her birth at least a hundred times. how he held her first and named her, and quieted her with his finger as their mother fell asleep. how those were the first words he ever said to her. and octavia probably rolled her eyes and called him a dork, brushed him off, pretended not to care. 

but she held onto those words for sixteen years, carried them around and memorized them, enough to give them back to bellamy when it was her turn to be the strong one. when it was her turn to take care of him. that was her way of letting him know that she cared, and she’d always cared. she’d always listened when he told her that dumb cheesy story again and again. she was telling him that it was the same for her, because she loves him just as much.

when u compare the siblings, u can see how much of bellamy has rubbed off on octavia. how many mannerisms they share; the attitude, the need to shoulder other people’s burdens, right down to the way they strut around and the way they clench their jaws, the way they cup the backs of each other’s necks when they hug. speaking from experience, these are the sorts of things that younger siblings imprint on, because they admire their older siblings and they want to be more like them. just like with a child who copies some of their parent’s habits, out of a subconscious desire to walk in their footsteps. because bellamy practically raised his sister, and he was the person she looked up to the most, the person that she wanted to be like when she grew up.

u don’t do these things for someone u don’t love unconditionally. and maybe she gets too judgmental and stubborn sometimes, but tbh bellamy can blame himself for that too, since they share those traits as well. he’s grown a lot since season one obviously, they both have, but he’s also older. more tired. ready to settle down into who he wants to be. octavia is young, she’s still learning and growing. give her time.

but never doubt her love for her brother. it might not be as obvious as bell’s, or intense, but it’s there, and it’s just as strong. 


“I want to help. I can be hard to see. I can kill things that would hurt people.”

// pics | Cole | +


For @Hollyhark from her Kylux series Children Wake Up.

the top one is with lyrics from Avril Lavigne’s Hush Hush (2013). Because it’s perfect. The lyrics don’t fit into my composition very well, but whateves.

And then text free. Because I can’t really decide which version I want to post XD

Enjoy Holly!

Here’s the full song lyrics:

“Hush Hush”

Hush, hush shh
Hush, hush

I didn’t mean to kiss you
You didn’t mean to fall in love
I never meant to hurt you
I never meant for it to mean this much

Hush, hush now

I wanted to keep you
Forever next to me
You know that I still do
And all I wanted was to believe

Hush, hush now

So go on, live your life
So go on, say good-bye
So many questions but I don’t ask why

So this time I won’t even try
Hush, hush now
Mmm hush, hush now

When I try to forget you
I just keep on remembering
What we had was so true
Somehow we lost everything

Hush, hush now
(Hush, hush now)

So go on, live your life
So go on, say good-bye
So many questions but I don’t ask why, no

So go on, live your life
So go on, and say good-bye
So many questions but I don’t ask why

Maybe someday but not tonight
Hush, hush now
(Hush, hush now)
(Hush, hush now)

Don’t, don’t, don’t you ever say a word {word}
Of what you ever thought you heard {heard}
Don’t you ever tell a soul
What you know

I tried to hide but I still believe
We, that we were always meant to be {be}
But I could never let you go, no

Hush, hush now

So go on, live your life
So go on, say good-bye
So many questions but I don’t ask why, no

So go on, live your life
So go on, and say good-bye
So many questions but I don’t ask why

Maybe someday but not tonight
Hush, hush now, mmm
Hush, hush now, mmm

Hush, hush shh


As some of you guys know, I wrote a fic called There is a Light That Never Goes Out about a year ago. As I was answering some questions on the phanfiction catalogue, I found a completely copied version of my entire story on wattpad. I am extremely extremely upset about this because I have worked so hard on that story only to get it stolen and claimed as their own. The story is posted here so if you would please go report it for me, I would REALLY appreciate it. I’m honestly so disgusted and angry that someone would do this and i’m very upset by it ): Thank you so much! I love you all but copywriting is not okay at all and can seriously hurt the author’s feelings.

anonymous asked:

Omg for the performing artist mc with Zen: the director loves the idea that the hero falls in love with the Villian and changes the plot because of it

;V; ahhhHhhhH!! i’m going to continue writing this bc you just gave me confiDENCE!!!!! XD (pt 1 here: ) (let’s all thank anon for this great idea!!) 

So since the direction loves the idea and the fact that Zen and his s/o loves each other so much (ikr), the director has decided to change the plot (last minute)! Obviously there were protests from the cast, but then in the end, they settled that, it would not hurt to make a plot twist and surprise the fans! 

So in every single show, there will be a different ending! And the fans would have to guess what would happen to the hero and the villain! Due to the perfect improvisation of the whole cast, everything went well and there were DVDs made for every single different ending! >////< (Jaehee was so happy haha) And so the whole production was a suCESS!!! 

to the people who have stolen my heart ;;

It’s been a long as fuck time since I’ve made one of these. I’ve made a lot of changes to my blog and I’ve made a ridiculous amount of friends on here. Without the people here, I don’t think Scott or I would be who we are. So for that I thank each and every one of you.

       { please note: even if you’re not here it doesn’t mean I don’t love you, it probably means
             we haven’t interacted so come at me! I promise I don’t bite…hard. }

Sorry for the length, tumblr won’t let me read more because picture post.

the pack ;;

scarfandsasswolf - Even though you live on upirxsm right now, you are forever my Isaac. It probably doesn’t hurt that you give me real life kisses every day. I love you so much and I’m so grateful to have you. This is unnecessary because you know all of these things but you’re the best boyfriend ever, ok?

nowolfpowers / sellmeanocean - The Stiles to my Scott. My best friend. In the few short months we’ve known each other we’ve laughed and cried and throw amazing emotions at each other. You’ve held my hand through break downs and I’ve held yours through the same. Two halves of a whole. I appreciate you more than words can say. But you know that too. also thanks for the graphic duh <3

notawerecheetah / ofscorn - The Cheytan to my Satan, but more importantly the Liam to my Scott. The Beta we never wanted but have to have. I know Liam has been giving you trouble lately, but both Liam and Stu give me the worst emotions and I hate you so much for them. But that hate is really just me loving you a ridiculous amount. Thank you for everything. For writing with me. For helping me when I need it. For being my friend. I adore you always.

belezamxrtal - Cheeevy. Chevy Chevy. I don’t even know how this happened. One minute you weren’t in my life and the next you were killing me with entirely too many emotions. You listen to my ranting about musicals, but even more than that you support me in all of my fanaticism. You break my heart in 8 million verses and I wouldn’t change a thing.

rowanbat / 8 billion other blogs - I am so grateful to have found you. You inspire me because you care so much and I just adore you. I adore everything about you. If you weren’t literally across the world life would be so much better. Always always always remember how wonderful you are.

allxson - My wifey. My Mimi. I’ll follow you to the end of the world and smack you the whole way there for breaking my heart with Scallison. You made a shipper out of me and I both love and hate you for it on a daily basis. It’s pretty perfect that you write Scott’s first love, huh? I love you always. <3

gloriosaxmissione - C h ri s t i na. From Bucky to Scott you’ve managed to make my character emote in the craziest of ways. Seriously. Scott just wants to wrap his arms around Cassie and tell her it’s all going to be ok. They’re all going to be ok. L o ve you <3

familianegotium - I don’t know how you did it but you’ve matched my level of satanism and that’s insane. Excuse me while I stand in confusion over the perfect blend that is Scott and Dean. But more than that, excuse me while I bask in the smile YOU bring to my face. You and Lea remind me so much of Robin and I in the beginning of our relationship and I just love watching your love bloom. It makes me so happy to see you both so happy because I love you both a lot.

xhmygod - Lea you just have a way to always brighten my day. Scott has attached himself to very few Stiles’, but yours is one he’ll follow to the end of the Earth. But just like with LIz, it’s more important the way I get to watch you be happy. And emote. And bask in love. And just be. You’re so wonderful, you really are. Never ever forget that.

blueeyedregrets - Abby you will always have the title as one of the first people to befriend me on here and for that you will forever have my heart, but on top of that you are one of the nicest people I’ve ever had the pleasure of befriending. Such a wonderful loving person should always be cherished and loved.

bellexmort - Ok this might be cheating because somehow we still rarely write together but Jenna you are the Blair to my Selena and I love you oodles and oodles and oodles and move your butt to Florida and live on our couch already!

imawarewolf - Cate you are the light of my life and I CAN’T WAIT TO GO TO DRAGON CON WITH YOU. We don’t write enough, but you’ve been there for me through an unnecessary amount of things. A friend through and through. Love you.

withoutclaws - Last but most certainly not least – my Beth. My moon. The first Stiles that Scott and I ever claimed as our own. I am forever in awe of your writing and your balance and your grace, but mostly I’m forever in love with how open your arms are for friendship. Our busy schedules make it hard for us to talk like we used to, but that doesn’t stop me from always knowing how much we care.

adorable ones ;;

all the others that I write with/love on near and far and wouldn’t be complete without!

thespookyarchitect scarredbyxhellfire feminamagicae nooglxr illbebatman spookyshitlahey lonebetalahey almightystiles fleethelight radioactivederek captainperoxidespike kindahategreenberg cyclone24 instiles imethanandtheresadifference spookykatiekate thebansheeofhalloween canttakeyourpain itsnotflirting stiles-stilinski-the-human alwaysfiguresitout hesinsatiable dannyloveshisarmani warriorwithabow betedanslabeaute justanemptymeatsuit slippingintoacomabored vulpestiles schadenfreudestilinski wereyoulonely vodkawithlime compassionem malfoah showmewhattodo beautypowerdeath devanreyes kiraspookimura ifthemoneysgood sheriiff xbrokencrownxhollowhowlx kitsuboo nottobecrossed xaudiens bxdguy contractedassassin liamsxdunbar sp00kytothemax likestobecalledstiles lilmisslydiamartin skinandfragilebones cursedredwolf thvnderfox actualproperclara callitcoulson deucalionsdarcy sometimesbatman auntieemhoneycutt xyourbatman neverwholelahey xpetrushka majordisappoiintment whowouldyoudiefxr scottmchungup lacrossexpup avveie itstheisaaclahey claustrophobicwerewolf eightyearsalone armigerx learningxtohowl lostwithinavoid vxidedfox postvoided adellaholmes angelfacedx deathsiren dextxr heelbound notamailman alreadybatman nuitenargxnt alfaverdadero kenzisms starkiisms petershowl nervesarewracked holdingthebeast pxntmercy caelestisgladium nobodyisms triskelion-king-archive matriiiarch creepymalia tosavemybestfriend xnferiority trickorpeter ofbats iwontberobin

personals/non rp blogs that are wonderful ;;

mccall-appreciation mclaheyisms scottinpanties daunt imaginesciles