and it hurts and my throat closes up and i just

you are my sunshine (i tried)

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine

Error felt at ease with the soft sound of inks voice filling his ears(?) in a calming matter. Error was laying on his back with his head in inks lap slowly getting rocked back and forward while ink was sing a familiar tune which seemed to put all errors nerves into a relaxed mode as he just laid there with his eyes closed listening to the voice he loved most.

You make me happy when skies are gray

error wanted to smile at the cheesy song ink was singing maybe tease him about it a little. But when he tried to open his mouth words didn’t come out, only a little whimper got escape his teeth. Error frowned. why couldn’t he speak? and why did he throat hurt? Error thought to himself as he started noticing the burning feeling at the bottom of his neck which was slowly making its way up to his mouth.

You’ll never know dear, how much I love you

Error tried to move so he could get up and maybe get a drink but he could only move his fingers and maybe lift his arms a little. He felt heavy so heavy what’s going on? Ink why can’t I move?  He tried again so speak, to move, anything but all he could do was open his eyes a little and see inks blurry from above him.

Please don’t take my sunshine aw-ay

his voice broke on the last word, followed by a soft sob which were slowly growing louder and louder. Was ink … crying? Error started panicking a little now, ink almost never cried. Ink starts mumbling soft words in between his sobs, error could only make out few of the words. “I’m … sorry ……… error ….. hang ……. say…….don’t die” die? Was somebody dying? Is that why in was crying? Oke stupid question that was probably what was going on, but who how could be the person ink would cry over like this? … unless

The it hit error, memories came flooding back into his mind. The argument between them, ink going after error, hiding in another au not wanting to confront ink, the angry people wanting error away, the mean words, not being able to escape, the hit.

Error was dying.      

No.

No, he can’t. he doesn’t want to die, not jet. Fear took over errors senses, fear of leaving this world alone, fear of leaving ink alone. He doesn’t want to go now he finally has something to hold dear.

He tried to move again, to reach up or get a hold on something, anything. but he only became painfully aware of how numb his body really was, like every body part was asleep and never walking up again with a thick heavy blanket over himself that he couldn’t push of. And it was slowly getting worse, starting by his toots making its way up bit by bit.

Ink must have noticed how error was struggling, because he gently lifted his head out of his lap careful not to jolts him and moved him a bit higher up to his face, this way error could see ink clearly even though at that moment he wish he couldn’t.

Inks face did bring a sense of clam over error but a wave of sadness as well. Ink had his eyes almost closed, tears constantly seeping out from the little space they could and slowly making their way down his cheeks dripping into his scarf and sometimes on error.

With his the little energy he had error tried to speak again, maybe now he was closer to ink he could actually hear him. So he opened his mouth and spoke in a breathy barely audibly voice.

“ink”

Inks eyes snapped open looking down to error with big eyes as if he couldn’t believe he was still alive much less speaking to him.

“error you’re awake”

Ink spoke in a voice that didn’t really fit him. A sad one like there was no hope anymore, error didn’t like this voice on him.

“why do you sound so sad?”

Error tried his best to speak clearly but it just tired him out faster, he needed to be more careful picking his words.

“b-because” ink paused a for a minute looking for the right words to say. “because I don’t know what to do error” another sob followed by some fresh tears going down his cheeks.

“please don’t die don’t leave me alone error” ink got out between hiccups and heavy breaths trying to get his breathing under control so he could speak clearly.

Error tried to get the last of his strength together and raised his hand a little up to inks face but right when he got his hand halfway up it almost fell down again if it wasn’t for ink taking a hold of it and bring it up to his face.

He gently Pressed errors hand against his cheek, nuzzling into it a little. making sure to keep it there as long as he could. “please” ink murmured in a small voice “I don’t want to be alone again”.

Error didn’t know what to say, but then what do you say when you’re dying in your “boyfriends” arms. “hey it’s going to be oke” nailed it. (nice one error)

Ink chuckled, he acutely chuckled. “you really aren’t the best with words error” error had to agree with that one “I know” he murmured weakly.

His voice was growing more and more tired, Like his body was growing more and more limp and right now both ink and error are well known of that fact. All there is to it is to say goodbye now.

“hey skittles” ink let out an amused breath at the nickname “yeah?” error took a deep breath “can you do me a favour?” error slowly moved his thump over inks cheek bone gently wiping away some of the tears that were still flowing down.

“of course what is it?” the numb feeling was at errors waist now (work with me here) but he managed to show a little smile “remember me oke”  inks eyes widened a little “w-what do you mean I’m no…” his words got cut of but error covering his mouth.

“sing with me”

Error started humming the same tune ink was sing to error a little while ago. It was low and maybe a bit raspy but ink could still hear error was starting where he left of so he didn’t want to take this away from error and started singing again.

You told me once, dear, you really loved me

Error smiled, inks voice once again putting his nerves to ease.

He kept humming.

And no one else could come between.

The numbness was taking over fully now, he could feel himself slowly disappear.

He was still humming.

But now you’ve left me and love another.

Error stopped humming.

You have shattered all of my dreams.

His hand fell but never hit the ground.

You are…

 “goodbye ink…. I love you”

 A loud cry slipped from inks teeth he clutched errors jacket against his chest pressing his nose (?) into the only thing there’s left of him now.

 “I won’t forget error” he cried into the jacket careful, to not let his tears black tears stain the fabric.

 “I promise”

 “I love you too”  

————————————————————–

well this took me a lot longer the i wanted but yeah stuff happens

anyway here you go this is dased around a drawing you made sorry i can’t really rememder which one it was

sorry for the mistakes hope you like it

Submitted by  idk-likesomeone

Unu says: OMG THIS. I CRIED. I GENUINELY CRIED. IDK HOW BUT YOU DID IT. GOOD JOB! THANK YOU SO MUCH, I LOVE THIS ONE!

11.

Originally posted by chrisbrowngifs

It felt so good to cum, but it could’ve been better if it was inside her, I used my hand. I think I’ll go to bed to rest for a while.
I just put my head down and I heard Robyn get in the room, let me act like i’m sleeping. I was laying on my back, my head was facing the door but I closed my eyes. I felt Robyn climbing up on me and laying on me like i’m a bed “you didn’t let me cum” her face was pressed to my chest, and all her body was parallel to mine. “because I didn’t wanted to” she kissed my chest and pulled herself up a little so she could kiss my throat “Robyn stop” I know her she is playing me and it’s hurt to be full of cum with no release. “Babe I want to tell you something but don’t be mad at me” my eyes opened wide open at this “what’s wrong?” she kissed my lips and looking at my eyes “remember about the club you wanted to go?” I nodded my head, biting my bottom lip and staring at her “so maybe we can go together? Your friend Mijo is dating my best friend” what? so that’s the girl. damn I nearly fell off of the bed from laughing. “what you laughing for” she joined and laughed with me “I just always heard him talking with some Girl, just funny to me the idea that she is your friend… how’d they met anyway?” she cleared her throat and rest her head on my chest “the day we was in the club. me and you remember, when we just met and nearly had sex” I let out a big oh “since than they’re hiding from us” she nodded her head and hugged me she suddenly got up and sitting on me with her legs separated “let’s get ready for that club bih” I busted out with laughter, my woman is crazy tho.


“wait here baby, don’t come out” we arrived to the club but we didn’t thought that would be here so many paparazzi. I got out from the “Range Rover” and walked to Robyn’s door side to open it, I want to know she’s safe and I want to be the one who’s making sure she’s good. I opened the door and she looked at me nervous “come out Reina” I took her hand in mines and leading her through the paparazzi inside the club, while we passed the paparazzi they shouted at us somethings “yo Chris and Rihanna are y'all together?” we kept walking, my head was looking down, We had Big pat and Don with us, Big pat in front of me and Don is behind Robyn. I squeezed her hand to calm her a little. “is that true you guys having a baby?” my look shot at this guy, where he got that from  "stop talking bullshit" all I said, I was angry I don’t like all those paparazzi, making rumors about us. I hate that. if I could do my thing, my music with nobody getting involved with my life that’d be awesome. We entered the club and got to the VIP section finally, the DJ noticed us I can tell by hearing him saying our names “We got Chris breezy and Rihanna in the building make some noise” that made me laugh tho. I just appreciate all the love we get.
“you good?״ I turned to face Robyn, my hand on her cheek looking deep into her eyes, she nodded and licked her lips, she looks so beautiful, her skin is so soft her smell is so perfect, I love this woman so much, I’m so lucky, I’m looking at her and curling the fact that she’s mine. she’s wearing white jeans with a tight white T Belly. she got her hair down. "what you looking at babe” she smiled and looked nervous at the fact that I’m checking her out “just appreciate your beauty” kissing her softly and pulling my hands my hands on her ass. “what’s upp bitches” Mel was so hyper and screamed like a weirdo, Robyn turned around and her back is against my chest, I’m hugging her from behind “finally you made it” Mel looked behind her like she’s looking out for someone “stop lying you two aren’t here more than five minutes” I smiled, she’s right but I won’t tell her that. kissing Robyn’s neck “stop making out in front of me” she’s starting to annoy me “where is my boy anyway?” she waved me off “he is talking to the bar man, to bring us multiple bottles” I laughed, they are planning to not remember this day.


“climb on top of me, underneath the sheets, because I’m about to take you down, and change your last name to Ms. Brown” I was standing next to the DJ, dancing and having the best night, I was standing on the satge and singing, the whole performance I looked at my Robyn, she was staring at me and dancing to every song I sang, but that’s song is for her. she’s my motivation, crazy how I feel for her, but be sure I give my life for her, I’ll donate my heart to her. She can get anything from me. I don’t care about all the rumors, I want to let it out to scream that I love her, so everybody could knows she’s mine. as I kept on singing I could tell something is happening to Robyn, her face looks terrified of something, like she’s scared of something, as I focused on her I felt my heart broken. my heart is beating so fast, my mouth feels dry, I stopped immediately to sing and started to run to where she’s standing, I’m going to kill these son of a bitch.

Originally posted by daddyxbizzle

I had a great night, my best friend is here with me, she got even a boyfriend. Mel has a boyfriend, can’t believe, me and this bitch know each other since I can remember myself, she’s the sister that life brought me. the sister I never had. and of course my love is here with us. specifically right now he is on the stage singing, I love him so much. it has been almost half a year since we are together and still I didn’t told him how much I love him, he is so perfect for me. I’m lucky to have him in my life. I’m looking at my man, having the best night up there, singing to me, dancing and enjoying and my heart is full with pride and joy. I’m dancing and looking at my man and suddenly feeling someone really aggressive grabbing both my hands and keeping them hard behind my back with one hand, I could feel the weight of this guy pinning me to him, his other hand is placing on where my pussy is, and this man started to rubb himself in my, I could tell he got a bulge. he bumped into me from behind. I couldn’t move. he touched every part of my body. thank god I’m with jeans and not a dress or something because he started to rubb my clit against my jeans. he pushed me harder to him. “missed me” I can’t believe he is doing this to me. “Shai stop! what you doing, get off me” I’m not hearing Chris singing in the background. tears started to fall down on my face. “you are mine” I started to scream but no one can hear me, every one is in his own world dancing and enjoying. “stop touching me, I’m nothing to you” he pulled my hair back, I could feel his breath on my neck “I was supposed to be your first adventure of having sex” I closed my eyes and breathing so fast “thank god you wasn’t” I sobbed and it felt like we are like this forever, he was ready to say something but I felt him leaving me with rush, I put my hands on my face walking back, crying my heart out seeing Chris punching him in the face, Chris is now on top of him and punching Shai’s face “Don’t you ever again mess with my woman” with every word Chris punched him harder. I walked to Chris and started to scream “Chris please…” I cried I couldn’t calm myself. Big pat grabbed Chris’s harm and got him off of Shai, Don started to push me out of the club and I didn’t want to go without Chris “Don wait for Chris” he kept on walking “you’ll see him at his home now let me take you out of here” I kept on walking crying. the last thing I saw is Shai was knocked out on the floor all his face was with blood and Chris was so angry, I never saw him like this, he was ready to kill him. the paparazzi took full of pictures of me, now they have gossip to talk about me crying “Rihanna why you crying” all the flashing annoying me so I kept my eyes down with my hand over my eyes and Don walking behind me. I got to the car and we drove off. What the fuck just happened, what about Chris what the fuck Shai did there and how he founded me. my thoughts are going crazy, I’m over thinking right now about all this situation. I want to go to Chris’s crib to wait for him.

We got to Chris’s place, he got some bodyguards in here, so they let us in. because of all what happened I don’t know what’s going on with Mel, I really don’t know where she is or if she knows what happened. I love my sister but for now I can’t think about nothing else but Chris. walking upstairs to Chris’s room, the place of peace for me. I climbed on the bed and laying there crying. I can smell him and full of thoughts of us in this bed rushed to me. I was in bed thirty minutes before Chris came home. feeling his presence in the room, my eyes still closed, feeling the bed moving as he got in the bed. he wrapped his arms around me from behind, kissing my neck and breathing out. he squeezes his hands around me “how you feel” my hand on his hands “better now that you are here” turning around while he still wraps his arms around me. I put my hand on his cheek looking at his eyes for a while. leaning to his lips and kissing him softly, my eyes are closed “I love you Chris” I whispered he looked at me surprised “what you said?” I smiled and said that again “I love you, you brought so much happiness to my life, after what happened with Shai I understood that you are the only love I ever wanted. I want to scream this to the world, I love baby” he looked at me and said nothing. I love him and today I knew that is a fact. feeling his lips on mine one hand on my ass and the other on my cheek. “move in with me” he said that without breathing. I stopped the kissing and l’m looking at him lost “what?” Chris bit his bottom lip “baby I love you, you are my queen I want you to be next to me forever and always. to wake up every morning with you next to me, and in the future to make a mini version of you, my future princess. Please just move in with me” I want the same thing, but there is a problem “if we’ll move in together I want that to be fresh, new start and new house” Chris’s smile is wide “ that is a yes?” I nodded my head and I kissed him. my man

Trusted Companion

Summary: Dean fulfills a special request for the reader. 
Word Count: 760
Warnings: None. 
A/N:  This can be read as a stand-alone drabble, but I did intend for it to be a third part for Cuddle Buddy and Guy Friend

@spnfanficpond @aprofoundbondwithdean 

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Do I Wanna Know

Alistair x Warden 

 Words: 7561

Aurea gets up the courage to ask her husband to treat her a little rougher in bed.

Warnings: spanking, throat grabbing, slight hair pulling


Alistair stood gaping in front of his wife, mouth opening and closing like a fish on the shore. “I’m sorry, you want me to do what to you?” 

Aurea stood before him, silk and fur robe wrapped tightly around her body, refusing to be ashamed of asking this of him. “I want you to be rough with me, Alistair. I’m not asking you to hurt me. I’m asking you to be firm, grab me, pin me- don’t give me that look, I know you can. I need this, Alistair. Just for one night, I am asking you to do this for me. You don’t have to tie me down or hurt me.” Aurea look down at her hands: they were clenched tightly into the fabric near her chest, she hadn’t remembered when she moved them there. 

“I know it sounds foolish, and maybe it is, but I need to know there is someone stronger than me. I need to be handled, Alistair. You are the only one I trust to do that.” 

Alistair swallowed around the dry patch in his throat and stumbled over his words. His wife stood before him, opening herself up to him and he stood there looking like a fool. “I- I mean…Maker’s breath, Aurea you can’t- What if I screw it up? What if I actually hurt you? Don’t you snort at me! You can be hurt, Aurea. I know you like to think that I can’t hurt you, but I can.” 

“Yes, yes, I know. You bashed open that portcullis in Denerim to get to me. I know you can hurt me, but I also know you won’t. You won’t screw it up, darling. If I want you to stop, we both know I can make you. If you’re uncomfortable with this, we won’t do it.” 

She tried not to be angry with him, she honestly did. It would never occur to her to force him into an action he found uncomfortable. But Maker be damned if she didn’t need it. She needed her body to be in someone else’s hands, she needed to feel gripped and held.  She toed her way over to his tense body and gave him a slow kiss, her lips taking his bottom one.
“It’s alright, Alistair. I won’t make you do this.” 

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Sometimes I think about how so much of my conversations with my partners was done through Skype, how many memories were stored in shitty local logs that are gone now. How I only have my shaky memory of the things we did and said to each other, the way our eyes met through grainy webcams, how it felt to feel close to them across thousands of miles, just by the sound of their voice in low quality VoIP. I remember moments that made me happy to be alive, and moments that made me hurt so badly that I was so far away.

Today reminded me of these thoughts in ways that puts pain in my throat and makes my eyes well up. Most of me knows those moments are gone, but… A small part of me wants to build new ones even better than the first.

are we okay?
am I too young to be this cold?
was it your face from the start?
well, that certainly played a part.


you asked me what I’m feeling
I said, “Nothing,” as I search
to feel something.
you say it’ll all be okay
but I don’t know either way.


you said “it’s not you, it’s me”
but self-blame persists on filling the hole.
my tummy starts to hurt
and my throat closes up
but I can’t cry, so I guess I’ll just 
suffer in silence. 
the best of us do.


you said I was looking thin
and that’s when I told you that
I haven’t had an appetite in a while.
and you yelled at me to
cut it out, that I’m killing myself.
but the highlight of my day 
is brushing my teeth
with that Crest stuff.


you unironically talk about tragedy
as I enter the room, looking at me
like I’m a stranger to you.
I should’ve expected that 
from a person who uses lines
like “you look like you’re going to cry”
to get in on some action.


I called you weak
and you slammed the door 
shut behind you as you left.
I didn’t even cry. 
probably because I knew 
that I was right, and that I’d be
better off without you.

— 

it seems *you’ve had a change of heart

[ *I’ve ]

2

I have never told you guys what actually happened to me in the concert.

So it was on a Sunday, June 7, 2015 and it was 8:00pm and I had a SVIP ticket so I was in the front. When the lights went off, I knew that the concert was going to start so I took out my phone and I was screaming and running in front where I can see then up close.

As a huge fan / trash of them, I, of course, was screaming and cheering until my throat hurt but I still continued to shouting. I was singing with them while crying because I had been a fan of them for so long and my young self wouldn’t even believe I will see them live one day.

When they started to sing “Love You Long Time” (which is in their PTX Volume 1) most of the people in the concert was just quiet and dancing with the song (maybe because they just know their current song). So I started singing the song OUT LOUD. I didn’t even care if I was cracking RIGHT IN FRONT of them.

So I was in the very front (because I ran really fast so I could be really close to the stage) where the people at me back was squishing me but I didn’t really care. So it was time for them to go down and touch people’s hand. And I got really nervous/happy/excited to touch their hands. So first was Avi, I just remembered touching his hand and dripping it tight for a second and let it go. Second was Mitch, now this I remembered. I really have a BIG crush of Mitch even though I know he’s not straight so holding his hand was A BIG DEAL TO ME. So when his hand arrived I grabbed it and gripped so hard (I AM SO SORRY MITCH…. OH MY GOD I HURT MITCH I FEEL LIKE A MURDERER T.T) and he tried so hard to let my hand off his hand but the more he force to get it off my hand, the more I gripped his hand (GOD I FEEL LIKE A MURDERER T.T DON’T KILL ME) and I was telling him not to “leave me” and then our hands was….. :c separated (I was seriously so sad after that). Third was Kirstie, so someone on my right side pulled her so that he can have a picture with her and it was not good because she tripped and almost fell down so I didn’t really grip her hand that tight. Next was Kevin, I just remembered grabbing his hand and he just smiled (awww Kevin is so sweet).

And last was Scott and I held his hand tight and our hands separated fast. And when he was about to step up the stair going to the stage, HE WENT BACK TO WHERE I STAYED AND THAT’S WHEN IT ALL HAPPENED!!!! So when I saw Scott going back for another round of “hands touching” (even though he was passing by people and not really touching their hands), I offered my hand (with my phone on it) and my first intention was LITERALLY just to touch his hand. So he went NEAR ME and my heart was staring to beat so fast. HE THEN GRABS MY PHONE OUT OF MY HAND and my first thought was “OMG IS HE GOING TO KEEP MY CRACKED PHONE?!?!?!?!?!” He then flipped the camera to a selfie mode and i started crying because I knew what he was doing. He first took a photo of me while I was crying (as seen in the first picture) and then I whispered to him “I want you in the picture” while tapping his shoulders because if I let people see this picture they won’t believe Scott actual took the picture. So he joined the picture and I was trying so hard to smile but the tears of joy just doesn’t go out. Scott finally took the picture and gave my phone back. After everything that had happened that minute I was just their crying so hard and smiling and I WAS SO HAPPY.

I don’t know why Scott went back for me but I was seriously so thankful for what he has done to me. Until today I seriously couldn’t believe that that happened to me and I was literally the happiest person in the entire world…. EVEN NOW. After the concert, I was crying at my sleep because I missed them so much and I don’t even know how I slept that night, IT WAS JUST SO AMAZING AND UNBELIEVABLE THAT THE PERSON I HAVE DREAM ABOUT FOR YEARS FINALLY MET ME. yeah Scott WENT BACK TO TAKE A PICTURE OF ME

i look so ugly in the picture

He takes care of you even though he’s mad at you

Originally posted by lukeorhemmo

This is my first imagine so be kind about it. I’m going to post more so send in requests for any type of imagine/fanfiction. Tips and feedback are always appreciated. :}


You wiped your mouth off from just puking in the toilet, which admittedly wasn’t the way you wanted to start your day. Everything was going wrong lately, you’d been fighting with Michael all week over everything from cheating accusations to miscommunication to someone leaving a bowl in the sink. And now you were sick, and Michael was sleeping on the couch and you hadn’t spoken to him in two days and the fans on twitter were being shitty and as stated previously you were sick. You coughed into the toilet again, closing your eyes and holding back tears from the hurt in your throat. You groaned, before tensing up when you felt someones hand on your shoulder, and you gripped the blanket around you tighter. “Shhh babe. It’s just me.” Michael’s voice was sultry and low. Despite yourself, you fell back into his chest, your eyes still sewn shut. “It’s okay. Let’s get you to bed.” He wrapped an arm around you.

“I’m fine.” Coagh. “I can do it.” Sniffle. “Myself.”

“Goddammit y/n!” Michael said harshly, before taking a deep breath and returning his voice to the soft, calm one of before. “Babe, let me take care of you, I know you’re pissed at me.” Another deep breath. “I’m pissed at you too. But honestly, you look like death. Let me help you.” You feel him press a soft kiss to your forehead.

“And here I thought my makeup was on point.” You mumble, and you feel him chuckle. It took a few moments for you to realize that Michael was carrying you before laying you down on the bed, tucking you in and being very gentle. A hand was pressed to your forehead. “Babe you’re burning up. Tomorrow we should go to the doctor.” You grabbed his shirt and shook your head. You hated the doctors. “You are so stubborn.” You waited for another response but didn’t hear one until a few minutes later when a damp towel was placed on your forehead, and you felt the other side of the bed dipping down. Someone started rubbing your back in small circular motions,and you smiled slightly.

Michael wrapped his arm around you, nuzzling his chin into the crook of your neck. “I thought you were mad at me.” You muttered.

“I am.” He said, bringing you in closer to his chest. “We’re on pause.” You coughed again, shaking the bed. “Does your head hurt?” He whispered, and you nodded. “You have a fever.” Michael was silent before saying. ‘Try and get some sleep babe. If you’re not feeling any better tomorrow we’ll make an appointment with the doctor.”

You rest your head Mikey’s arm and feel yourself falling asleep with him brushing your hair behind your ear. “I love you Mikey.” You say softly. You felt him tighten his grip on you, and he turned you so that you faced his chest, which you nuzzled your head into, smelling his aftershave. One of his hands rested on your neck and the other on your waist, and he kissed your forehead softly.

“I love you too babe. Now get some rest.”

50. Writer’s Preference – so I took that to mean choose one of the prompts on the list. I chose 33. Please don’t do this.

Thanks to @apartment303 for sending in the prompt. And here’s where I casually tag some interested parties for this super angsty fic: @simplylemonade @jackfalahee-walsh @winters-blue-children@ramblesandreblogs


Heartbreak hurt. Having never been on the receiving end of it, Connor never understood the depth of its agony. Dragging in a shaky breath, he looked up at the ceiling and tried to stop his tears from falling. He never thought this was possible.

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Papercut

Inspired by [x]
AO3 crosslink: [x]

Dean and Cas are staring at each other, breathing hard. Both jaws and fists are clenched, and the small amount of distance between them is tinged with anger and hurt. Dean takes a step back, and honestly, can’t remember why he loves Cas right now.  The small disagreement escalated so quickly, and his vision is clouded with hurt and betrayal and anger; red-hot, heart-racing, all-I-can-do-not-to-scream-at-you anger.  

“I’m going out,” Cas growls, turning away from Dean and walking away. Dean’s throat closes up and his heart seizes; after all their whispered promises, all the murmured words between lips, Cas is leaving him? So easily?

His fear must radiate to the other man, because Cas turns back to him and manages a somewhat softer expression. “I’ll be back,” he said roughly, the words clearly not easy to get out. “I just need to clear my head.”

Dean swallows, drinking in the sight of him while he still can, and nods. “B-be safe,” he almost whispers, the words a stark contrast from the insults and accusations he was throwing only a few moments ago.  Cas clenches his jaw, seeing the same, and is gone in another few seconds.

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Ok. But listen. Harry fucking Hart would be the kind of man that starts to get sick and completely ignores it. He keeps an extra hankercheif for the sniffles and makes his tea with a bit of lemon in it to stifle the sore throat but keeps pressing on because that is just what you do. He’s working late at night at his desk when Eggsy walks in and sees him visibly woosy.
“I’m perfectly fine, Eggsy.”
“Yes, Harry.” He replies as he’s guiding him up the stairs.
“You needn’t make such a fuss.”
“Of course, Harry.” He assures him while slipping his tie out of his collar and slowly unbuttoning his shirt.
“I have work to do you know.”
“I’ve seen the docket, Harry.” Eggsy hands him another tissue as he sneezes so hard the younger man’s chest hurts FOR him.
“There is a world to be put back together, Eggsy.”
He tucks the covers up close and presses a soft kiss to Harry’s temple. “It will be there in the morning.”
Already being pulled under by exaustion, he smiles. “I love you.”
“I love you too, Harry.”

Just got back from APCC Manila

And I basically lost my voice screaming about Paul Bettany and the Captain America Civil War trailer. Like my throat just absolutely hurts right now. 

I’m actually so happy that I managed to see Paul Bettany pretty up close considering I wasn’t able to get photo-op and autograph tickets for him. I’m glad that the coordinators just allowed the guests to walk around. He was so tall and so cute I am seriously dead.

Anyway on to the important stuff which is Civil War footage!! Yey~!! We had to line up an hour early because at that point the line was already pretty long. They had us leave our phones outside so sadly no recordings so I’ll be going by what I remember which might be sketchy since I was really really shaky with excitement (I WATCHED THE FOOTAGE A FEW FEET AWAY FROM PAUL BETTANY AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH)

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It’s weird. I’ve never experienced anything traumatic…. Tragic. I’ve never been through something so heartbreaking and horrible that I’ve been emotionally and physically scarred. I’ve lived a pretty good life. I always had more than enough money to survive. And food… I’ve always had food. I had a good childhood. I’ve been fortunate in that sense… lucky. But I can’t help it. Some days, I’m so sad and perpetually exhausted with living that I physically can not get out of bed. It’s just… tiring. Faking smiles and laughs and like I can actually feel. I’m numb and I think that’s worse than the most painful feeling in the world. I cry…. I cry a lot but not for any reason in particular. It’s like this tidal wave of sadness washes over me and when I’m drowning, that’s the only time I’m alive— the only time I’m capable of feeling. And my stomach hurts and my throat closes up and I find myself panting and shaking and gasping for air. When I’m on the bathroom floor, up to my waist in tears, that’s the only time I’m human… at 4:36 in the morning when everyone I’ve ever loved is asleep and I’m alone and cold and broken, shattered in a million and one pieces, struggling to glue myself back together.
“And so often, more often than not, I find myself at six in the morning, when my house is still dark and my head is still aching, wiping my eyes dry and putting on a brave face, silently telling myself, trying franticly to convince myself that things could be worse. I’m overthinking. I’m being selfish and unreasonable. If things really are as bad as my brain is trying to twist them to be, I probably deserve it. Everything I do is wrong.
—  things you should NEVER tell yourself when you are hurting (you are not to blame for your feelings; you should never feel guilty or selfish for being sad) from JOURNALS; A NOVEL I’LL NEVER WRITE— quitenicelys