I refuse to take your leftover love. ★
I strangle my heart, as it says “Something is better than nothing”, ignoring it’s urges, I choose to unlove.
That “something” is not meant for me, that “something” is an extra part of you, you can’t seem to fit anywhere else, that “something” reminds me of how I am your nothing.★
For the first time, I’ll take a stand for myself, not act deaf to the prolonged moanings of my self respect, whom I’ve been abstaining all these years, when I was so into you wishing for you to fall for me too.
You saw it all in my eyes yet you pretended to be blind, while I painfully damped the beats of my heart and putted on a fake smile as you so easily said “You’ll always be my friend”. You selfish imbecile, hope you knew what it felt.
If you didn’t, I hope someday you do. I know tit for tat isn’t good but it’s damn satisfying. I hope someday you are starving for love and the only love you find is a burnt, cold, last night’s leftover one.★
Only then you’ll know what I went through every night of these murky years. I am ashamed I surrendered myself to someone like you.
Walking barefoot on the embers of expectations and hope, I succumbed to the pain hoping for a happy conclusion, tesselating my emptiness through mere illusions, annihilating my time unravelling confusions.
Only then you’ll know how hard it was to type “I Am Okay” every time I was asked how am I.
Only Then you’ll know how suffocated It felt when every gesture of my love, was deflected by “We’re just friends”.
Now, I finally know you are not the one, you never were, and soon you’ll know what it is not be the one of that someone, you give all of you to be their “one”.
Will not play it safe anymore.
Collaboration with amazing @justscribbledwords.(Her lines end with ★ )