and it doesn't even air on the bbc

  • Apple Tree Yard producers: *confirm on Twitter that the show is real and it airs on Sunday at 9pm*
  • Me: THIS DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE I DEDUCED THE CERTAIN AIR DATE OF THE LOST SPECIAL 22/1 RUG PULL IS GOING TO HAPPEN DID YOU EVEN HEAR ABOUT THE TINFOIL HAT CLUB OH PLEASE MOFFTISS YOUR ATTEMPTS AT HIDING THE 4TH EPISODE LOOK JUST PATHETIC
Who you should fight: BBC Sherlock
  • Sherlock: he may have a judo certificate on his wall but it's got someone else's name on it and while he may be pretty good at fighting, he deserves to have his ass kicked. fight Sherlock.
  • John: don't be fooled by his ridiculous jumpers, John is a man who kills without remorse and misses the war. don't fight John. do however mock him if he's strapped to bombs, it'll be good fun.
  • Mycroft: he sits on his ass all day and hates legwork, so you may think you can take Mycroft, but he's probably nasty once you piss him off. before you even start the fight he'll send someone around to invite you to reconsider and you're basically fucked if you so much as look at a security camera the wrong way. don't fight Mycroft.
  • Irene: while she is short, Irene will either whip you, drug you, have you trigger a boobytrap or threaten you with incriminating photographs. don't fight Irene.
  • Molly: why. why would you even think about this. don't fight Molly. she's so smol.
  • Greg: he's going to smile at you before and you're going to feel like a dick, but you'd probably do a decent job of kicking the shit out of Greg. fight Greg if you want to feel guilty forever.
  • Mary: she is sweet and bakes bread but she'd probably knock you out before you could even blink. don't fight Mary.
  • Moriarty: as long as he's out of contact with his empire, Jim is probably pretty weak. he's short af and even his sick arm muscles don't stand a chance as long as you move fast. you'll definitely win if you challenge him to a race in a swimming pool, as long as you don't ingest anything between your challenge and the start of the race. however, you will die after. fight Jim with a death wish.
  • Magnussen: he's the creepiest bastard ever, he may talk about blackmailing you, but even punching him will make you feel dirty when he gives you a fucked up smile. don't fight Magnussen or you'll have nightmares.
  • Sebastian: fight Sebastian. he doesn't exist and so you'll look totally lame punching at air, but you'd no doubt win and you can say that you beat up someone who killed a tiger.