and it didn't even turn out how i wanted it to

I’m watching 1x09, and I just can’t help but wonder how things would have played out if Emma had told Henry the truth about Neal: that he’d framed her for a crime he committed and left her in jail.  Would Henry still have idolized Neal and thought he was this great guy when they came across him in New York, or would he have been more reserved?  Because that’s the thing that kills me most about it.  Neal was allowed to just waltz right into Henry’s life and assume the role of his father and make decisions regarding him, and it was all because Emma felt as though she had to let him because Henry wanted to know him.  And the only reason Henry wanted to know him is because Emma lied to protect him from the truth.  It just sucks that Emma’s attempt to shield her ten year old son from the fact that his father was a shitbag is the reason he was allowed anywhere near him.  Such bullshit.

what's a fire and how does it - what's the word? - burn

so i have this disney playlist i listen to usually when i’m driving and i was blasting poor unfortunate souls this morning and i was thinking

what if ariel didn’t sign the scroll?

because she’s about to, okay, and she looks at the paper. the parchment made of seaweed, the ones that’s specially treated to survive underwater. and she thinks of her cave of treasures, her books that remain perfectly preserved underwater. “no thank you,” she says slowly, becoming keenly aware of air of this place, of the not-people she’d seen who hadn’t been able to pay the price for sea witch’s bargain. “i – no. thank you. but no.”

ursula tries to convince her otherwise, but ariel runs. she goes back to her cave, destroyed as it was by her father’s anger, and thinks.

she’s the daughter of triton. her books never got wet, though she lives in the ocean. she feels a pull inside her, to the land, to somewhere else, but what if – what if –

what if she doesn’t need the sea witch or her father to perform magic for her? what if she has her own?

ursula had wanted her voice because that’s how she performed her magic. singing in this cave had given it powers and protection, and when she saved her prince from the sea – she sang then too, to keep him safe, to guide him back to life and away from death.

so she has magic. she only needs to figure out how to use it.

so that’s what ariel does now. she’s quiet and keeps to herself, and her father and sisters think that it’s because she’s upset with her father, that she’s busy licking her wounds. she’s moved on from that. she has no trident, and is uninterested with fueling her magic with the souls of the damned like ursula has. so she needs to figure something else out.

she does what she’s not supposed to do, and goes where she’s not supposed to go, slipping past the guards and patrols to the one place in the sea that is forbidden to all of them.

the crevice in the earth where what remains of her grandmother lives.

ariel goes to amphitrite, and the sea goddess is so much bigger than ariel, the size of great whale as she curls at the bottom of the sea floor, too old and too tired to do anything more than sleep. “granddaughter,” the great being croaks, opening an eye as blue and as unfathomable as the sea, “you look like me.”

“they say i look like my mother,” she says, and to herself adds: that’s why father can barely stand to look at me.

“you have more of me in you than your mother,” she says, and she shifts and pulls her mass of red hair over her shoulder. “more of me in you than your father does, even.”

“i have magic,” she says, pulling her bravery to the fore as she swims closer to her grandmother, “i want you to teach me how to use it.” amphitrite pushes herself up, and it’s the first time she’s moved in a millennia, and ariel notices for the first time that her grandmother isn’t a mermaid – she has legs.

she has legs.

“you have power,” amphitrite corrects fiercely, “and i will teach you to wield it.”

and so she does. ariel spends her nights by her grandmother, learning to harness the power of the sea that runs in her veins, and sleeps her days away while her sisters and flounder and sebastian grow more and more concerned, but she refuses to tell them why. she refuses to be stopped.

but her heart still aches. she fell in love with her prince, and she wants him still. so she swims to the edge, goes to the beach where his castle resides in the dead of night when her lessons with her grandmother are complete, and sings

. she’s careful not to let any magic leak through, only her voice. she does not want to enchant him. she wants him to love her as she is. so she sings, her voice clear and powerful and cutting through the air. she hopes he can hear it.

then one day a figure walks to the beach, and it’s him, her prince. “hello?” he calls out, “are you out there? are you – please, it was you that saved me, wasn’t it? won’t you come out and let me see you?”

so she does, waves her tail at him until he catches sight of her and takes hesitant, disbelieving steps closer.

“you’re a mermaid,” he says, eyes wide, “i thought i saw – but it couldn’t be.”

“i am, and it can,” she says, heart beating wildly in her chest. he’s just as handsome as she remembered, and she wants him just as much. “my name is ariel.”

“ariel,” he repeats, and pulls off his boots and goes wading into the water, watching her to see if she flinches away from him. she doesn’t, and his strides grow bolder. “my name is eric.”

“eric,” she whispers, and when he’s close enough he touches her, trailing fingers across the bare skin of her shoulder and tangling them in her hair.

when he kisses her, she feels powerful enough to undo the world.

so there’s that now, spending her nights with her grandmother and her prince, and she knows how to make her own legs now, could walk onto land and be made a queen among the two legged men.

but she’s a princess here first, and before she can do that she needs to take care of something.

ursula.

the rotten sea witch with her rotten sea magic won’t be allowed to torment her people any longer.

she tells her grandmother, and amphitrite smiles and says, “an excellent decision, child. i’ve enjoyed our time together, but i think it’s time for me to sleep once more. i’ve taught you everything i can.”

and tears prick ariel’s eyes, but she holds them back. she knew that it couldn’t be forever, that her grandmother can’t die but no longer desires to live and this is the in-between.

“you’ll be an amazing queen,” amphitrite murmurs, and closes her eyes for a millennia more.

this isn’t something to be done in the dead of night, although it would be easier to do it then.

she will make a spectacle of it, she will remind the sea that her people are not to be trifled with.

once upon a time they feared a blue eyed, red haired sea queen with the power to destroy them all. it’s time for them to do so again.

so she drives ursula to the center of the city. her sisters cower and people hide, and her father comes rushing forward to save her.

“you’ve committed great crimes against my people,” she says, not flinching as lightning gathers in the sea witch’s hands, “so now shall a great crime be committed against you.”

“foolish girl,” the sea witch snarls.

triton is yelling. he won’t get there in time.

he doesn’t have to.

she doesn’t need to sing anymore. instead she lifts her hands and pulls ursula apart without ever touching her, not only renders flesh from bone but also sets free the souls she’s been hoarding, reverses the magic done to those who’d fallen into the sea witch’s trap.

they all stare at her, her people, her father, and her sisters. she looks to triton and says, “i’m not a little girl anymore.”

he opens his mouth, closes it again, then says, “i can see that.”

all at once everyone’s perceptions are turned sideways about their youngest princess. she commands a power that even her father doesn’t have access to, she’s not depressed and dreamy – she’s powerful young woman who knows exactly what she’s doing.

so she does what she wanted to do, she gives herself legs and steps onto the sand and launches herself into eric’s arms. she becomes his bride, and the rumors run rampant of what she is, of where she came from, but they can’t prove anything and so they rule.

they live long, happy lives. ariel is his consort, his advisor, his wife, his tactician, and his best friend. all those years reading drowned books have certainly paid off. she ages herself along with her husband, bears his children and then teaches them they ways of her – their – people.

her husband dies, and she disappears, like the stories of selkie women that everyone whispers around her. their children give their father a sea burial, and vow to see him again one day. what they know and none of their subjects do is this – their father’s body isn’t in that casket.

she returns to her ocean, her legs form into her glittering green tail, and she goes home. she uses her terribly powerful magic, and brings her husband with her. she went from princess ariel of the sea to queen ariel of the land, and now she’s back again.

she’s not quite a teenager, but neither is she the old woman she pretended to be on land. she’s returned her and her husband to the prime of their life, and as she gained legs to be with him, he now gives his up to be with her.

eric becomes a merman, and a prince by virtue of being ariel’s husband.

she returns to her family and her world without missing a beat, and they all welcome her as if she never left, treat her husband with kindness and respect.

because they all know.

it doesn’t matter that she’s the youngest. when, far in the future, triton’s reign ends –

ariel’s reign will begin.

Accurate first impressions of Kpop groups
  • <p> <b>Super Junior:</b> "so many members??? so many sub-groups/units??? suju is literally every other kpop groups' dads. been in the game for so long and still run kpop. Trendsetters. Legendary. all of them are MCs. Why aren't they running SM by themselves???"<p/><b>BigBang:</b> "badass!! cars!!! sad?? emo??? party!!!! every group looks up to them and admires them.....your fave's faves. weird dancing(?) but they're always lit. it's always a bigbang concert whenever they perform. why is that one guy so tall? that one guy is popular in Japan!!! the difference between Jiyong & G-dragon is scary."<p/><b>SHINee:</b> "it feels like everyone has solo projects and they probably get together only for Christmas or to get turnt up. are they Japanese?? i think those 2 short guys are dating idk. wtf why is he called tofu....why is he called bling bling.......WTF IS A DIBIDIBIDIBI-"<p/><b>Infinite:</b> "wow they dance so in sync w/ each other. probably heard their catchy af songs before really diving into the fandom. created the scorpion dance, how epic. they just seem so real?? like they're brothers??? is that one a girl or a boy??<p/><b>VIXX:</b> "so tall. so violent. so shippable w/ everyone. pretty sure they have a confirmed gay sub-unit?? their maknae likes to bully them. jellyfish doesn't deserve them. so.....they're vampires, voodoo dolls, 8 year old kids, video game characters, Greek gods....what can't this group do????"<p/><b>BTOB:</b> "everyone knows about their reputation, they're wild af. hella tiny compared to normal human beings. i was blinded when looking @ that guy's smile he's an angel sent from heaven. their songs either make you wanna cry into your pillow or join a high school musical is2g."<p/><b>EXO:</b> "they seem kinda scary/intimidating bc SM won't let them fangirl. everyone's an exo fangirl and fanboy on the inside. iM crEEPin iN Ur HeARt BAbE. they literally glow on stage??? are they still wolves???? do they still have superpowers??? who is Chinese and who is Korean??? i thought there were 12....."<p/><b>B.A.P:</b> "so are they best absolute perfect or are they called rice? weird aliens/rabbits is a concept i never knew i needed. they sued their company together but there's always one guy who kills them all? why??? everyone who talks about b.a.p wants to skydive i'm so confused. so is that hot guy w/ the deep ass voice actually their grandfather??"<p/><b>Got7:</b> "so many different races in 1 group i'm living. bruh their dorms must be so wild, how are they raising a dog??? rapline is kinda weak........they could still get it tho. all of them have such vibrant personalities MUST. RESIST. STANNING. their second name is dab7? i don't know them."<p/><b>Seventeen:</b> "ok joke's on us, we all thought we couldn't remember exo's names but shitballs, seventeen exists. wow they seem so fun to be around, i want to be their friend. their leader must have approximately 8.9 breakdowns everyday. how are they always so happy??? they're legit stranded on an island ffs. dino is 100% their real baby."<p/><b>Monsta X:</b> "so THAT'S the member that everyone loves bc he's such a meme. do they always remix their songs when performing??? they're so lit???? i'm still confused as to why this group doesn't have a first win. came to check them out bc of got7 and wasn't disappointed."<p/><b>Day6:</b> "lmao that famous guy from twitter is in a kpop group???? why does it feel like JYP is just letting them run around the company and do whatever they want at this point....does JYP even know they exist?? their songs make you wanna hit up your nonexistent ex *jams sadly*. who's bob???"<p/><b>iKon:</b> "they shouldn't be the next bigbang or the next anything, they're low-key doing amazing already. bad first impressions always turn into good ones when yall take the time to know them. they literally have their own anthem??? what's a visual i only know ikon."<p/><b>NCT:</b> "there SM goes again, tempting us w/ new groups but depriving us of comebacks. how is taeyong supposed to hold the fort down when he has 40 kids he hasn't even met yet?? they're exo's biggest fanboys, everyone needs to stan them asap. if they didn't look and sound so good, i'd sue SM for dressing them like they're homeless. the dreamies are so spoiled by the hyungs and their company. MY CHILDREN????"<p/></p>
waves

Requested: Do you mind writing something new about Shawn helping you to destress after a long and stressful week?

Originally posted by kitaplarvekedilerr

~

You slam your apartment door behind you, just glad to be home after one of the hardest and most stressful weeks of your life. You walk in the door, drop your backpack on the ground and toss your keys onto the counter. When you enter the living room, you find that Shawn is seated on the couch watching a hockey game on tv.

You take a seat next to him and lean into him. “Hey baby,” he says to you while wrapping an arm around you in somewhat of a side hug. You only close your eyes and sigh in response. “What’s wrong?” He questions, immediately concerned. He scoots a little so he can study your face.

“Nothing.” You respond, only moving closer to him and leaning into him more, needing the comfort of his arms around you, even though you can’t explain why.

He runs his fingers through your hair, letting the silence surround you for a few minutes. “Babe?” He questions finally. You lift your head from where it was resting against his chest, looking at him questioningly. “What’s going on?” He asks, his voice full of concern for you.

“Nothing, I’m just stressed.” You respond. “Everything feels weird and my thoughts are everywhere,” You admit.

He kisses your temple, then stands up and starts walking out of the room, saying simply, “I’ll be back.” You give him a confused look, but he’s already gone from the room. He’s normally more assertive than that, forcing you to talk about everything that you’re thinking, but he just walked out.

He returns about ten minutes later, you expect him to sit down next to you on the couch, because truthfully, you just want to be near him right now. But instead, he holds out his hands to pull you up. “C’mon love, up,” He says, as he gently pulls you to stand up.

You take his hands and stand. He intertwines his fingers with yours and leads you outside to his Jeep. “Where are we going?” You question him, but he doesn’t respond.

“Just trust me,” Is all he says.

“Babe, I kind of just want to stay home and cuddle, you know?” You try to tell him.

“I know, but you’ll like this, I promise.” He responds, and you’re too exhausted and mentally drained to even bother arguing, so you follow him and get into his jeep. He immediately connects his phone to the bluetooth and starts playing the Spotify playlist you created on his phone of all your favorite songs, which causes you to smile as he starts driving. Once he’s on the main road, he grabs your hand, and intertwines your fingers with his.

About twenty minutes into the drive, you’re feeling a lot more calm and relaxed. Shawn has gotten you to start telling him some of the things that have been stressing you out this week. It isn’t really any one thing in particular. It is a series of really small things that have built up, and it is hard for you to describe, but Shawn listens patiently and reassures you that you’re not crazy. Talking about it makes you feel a little better. 

“Are we going to the beach?” You ask, when you realize that is the direction you’re headed. When Shawn doesn’t answer immediately, you know that you’re right.  

You pull into the parking lot at the beach about ten minutes later. Shawn reaches into the backseat of his jeep and hands you one of his sweatshirts. You get out and put the sweatshirt on, since it is windy at the beach. Even though its still afternoon, it is windy and a little cold out.

Shawn grabs some towels from the back and you walk hand in hand down to the beach. When you get close to the water, he puts the towel down and he sits down. You position yourself in the space he created for you in front of him, and his arms wrap around you, shielding you from the wind. 

You watch the waves silently for a few minutes, feeling so much better already. Just being near the ocean has a way of calming you, it always has. Shawn knows the beach is the one place that calms you in a way nothing else does, which is why he brought you here today. You relax in his arms, and just like that everything that had been stressing you out all week doesn’t matter so much anymore. 

Basically, This is Basically What Every Dr. Phil Episode is Basically Like Basically
  • Dr. Phil: Hello, I am Doctor Philip, and today we'll be tackling an issue that is very widespread, but rarely spoken about. Gaming addiction. Now, I know many of you know at least one person in your life who plays video games, whether that be a child or, in some cases, a spouse.
  • Audience: *laughs*
  • Dr. Phil: But, when unregulated, gaming can lead to serious addiction. Today I have with me a mother who's home life has been torn apart as her very own son descended into gaming addiction.
  • Mother: *sniffing and wiping tears away* Hello, doctor. Will you cure my son?
  • Dr. Phil: Well, dear, that's... uhh. Let's just bring the boy out already.
  • *dramatic music plays*
  • Gamer: My name is Gregg, I'm 19 years old, I'm a gaming addict, and I don't give a f*ck.
  • Audience: *gasps*
  • Gamer: Yeah, I game for 19 to 20 hours a day and the other four hours I use for looking up sick gaming strats or beating it to anime porn. I once sucked off a dude because he offered me minecraft diamonds. I don't give a sh*t, I would've sucked him off even if he didn't have the diamonds.
  • Audience: *gasps louder*
  • Gamer: Do I hate women? Yes, I hate women. I've emailed Anita Sarkeesian my address. She knows where I am if she wants to fight me. Feminists, square the fuck up. People always ask why I don't do anything other than gaming. I ask them why don't they mind their own f*cking business. I don't think I have a problem. Dr. Phil can honestly eat my whole an*s.
  • Gamer: *walks out onto the stage*
  • Audience: *boos*
  • Gamer: F*ck all y'all! I don't give a f*ck! *flips off the audience*
  • Dr. Phil: Please take a seat, son.
  • Gamer: *sits very disrespectfully*
  • Mother: *starts bawling*
  • Dr. Phil: Son, do you think that was acceptable behavior?
  • Gamer: The only behavior I care about is the behavioral patterns for enemies in the S.T.A.L.K.E.R. series. I love video games: Master chief, Mario, uhm, Blinx the Cat... Blasto. Love those guys!
  • Audience: *boos*
  • Gamer: I don't care! You think I care! F*ck all y'all!
  • Dr. Phil: All these people are booing you, doesn't that make you feel bad?
  • Gamer: Are you deaf? Have I not articulated the fact that I absolutely 100% do not care about anything except for video games? I. DON'T. GIVE. A. F*CK.
  • Mother: He's always like this, there's no changing him. It didn't used to be this way... just *starts bawling harder*
  • Dr. Phil: I think there is a way to change him, and we'll find out more about that after these messages.
  • *Dr. Phil theme plays*
  • *The lights dim and every goes empty eyed and slack-jawed*
  • Gamer: Heh, this is weird. *nudges mom and whispers to her* Hey, we're getting paid for this, right. Hey, mom? ...Mom?
  • Mother: *completely unresponsive*
  • Dr. Phil: *completely unresponsive*
  • Audience: *completely unresponsive*
  • Gamer: Heh... this is REALLY weird. *looks around nervously*
  • Audience member: Hey!
  • Gamer: Huh?
  • Audience Member: I'm in the audience! Over here! My arms are strapped to the chair! You have to help me!
  • Gamer: *runs to the audience member*
  • Audience Member: Thank god, I thought I was the only one here left with any brains.
  • Gamer: *hastily undoing the straps* What the fuck is going on?
  • Audience Member: I don't know, but this definitely isn't Dr. Phil's show.
  • Gamer: Then what is it?
  • Audience Member: No clue, but we have to get out of here before the commercial breaks ends.
  • Gamer: *successfully undoes the straps*
  • Audience Member: C'mon! Let's go. *grabs the gamer by the arm*
  • Gamer: *resists* Wait a fucking minute. Why am I supposed to trust you?
  • Audience Member: Because I'm normal and everyone else is braindead if you haven't noticed.
  • Gamer: Yeah, but I'm not going anywhere until I know what's going on. Being on Dr. Phil is a huge opportunity for me to, y'know, advertise my brand. I'm a gamer if you haven't noticed.
  • Audience Member: Are you insane? Have you had a look around you? Does this anything happening right now seem normal to you? Who cares about your "brand". Do you even remember how you got here?
  • Gamer: Well... now that you mention, I can't really remember exactly.
  • Audience Member: Yeah, now let's get the fuck out of here.
  • *the gamer and audience member run through the back exit into the hallways*
  • *the Dr. Phil theme blares as the show returns from commercial break*
  • Gamer: My ears!
  • Audience Member: Move it! *jerks gamer's arm*
  • Gamer: Okay, calm down.
  • *the entire audience screams in unison*
  • Gamer: What the fuck is that!?
  • Audience Member: It's the reason we're running! Quick, in here!
  • *the duo duck into a cramped broom closest*
  • Gamer: Listen, you have to tell me what the fuck is going on right now!
  • Audience Member: Shh.
  • Gamer: Don't shush me!
  • Audience Member: *covers the gamer's mouth*
  • *agonized screaming and violently rumbling passes by the broom closest*
  • Gamer: Holy shit!
  • Audience Member: Stop yelling.
  • Gamer: How can I not yell when it sounds the gates of hell just passed by us!
  • Audience Member: You want it to turn back around and find us?
  • Gamer: Alright. I'll calm down... I'll. *start sobbing*
  • Audience Member: Please, please stop crying. You're too loud.
  • Gamer: I can't! I'm under a lot of stress!
  • Audience Member: You'll be dead if you don't shut the fuck.
  • Gamer: I never wanted any of this, I just wanted to go on Dr. Phil so people would recognize me on YouTube and I could become a popular Let's Player!
  • Audience Member: If you don't shut up right now, I'll-
  • *a snake bites the audience member's neck*
  • Audience Member: *eyes roll up*
  • Gamer: *screams like a baby*
  • *snakes slither under the closet door*
  • Gamer: *stumbles out of the closet and falls into hallway covered with snakes* Fuck me! Fuck me!
  • Gamer: *attempts to run away but falls beneath the snakes and into and empty void*
  • *agonized screaming echoes from all around*
  • Gamer: Am I in hell? I have to be in hell. You don't fall through a pool of snakes and wind up anywhere else but hell.
  • Dr. Phil: THERE IS NO HELL.
  • Gamer: Doc, is that you? If this isn't hell then where am I?
  • Dr. Phil: YOU'RE IN MY REALM SON. *Dr. Phil's face appears glowing in the distance, his eyes are empty sockets and his mouth hangs open*
  • Gamer: What the fuck are you?
  • Dr. Phil: I'M DOCTOR PHILIP.
  • Gamer: You're not Dr. Phil!
  • Dr. Phil: I NEVER SAID I WAS, SON. *a wall of gray human bodies lights up surrounding Dr. Phil's massive head, dr. phil's giant snake body slithers towards the gamer and opens its third eye* I'M DOCTOR PHILIP.
  • *the wall of bodies screams in unison as Dr. Phil devours the gamer*
  • *Dr. Phil theme plays loudly*
  • Dr. Phil: THE NEXT EPISODE IS STARTING. I'M LATE. *slithers into the wall of bodies and his snake body slowly transforms into a normal Dr. Phil's body*
  • Dr. Phil: *crawls onto the stage*
  • Dr. Phil: *dusts himself off* Woo, I went on quite an adventure.
  • Audience: *laughs*
  • Dr. Phil: I'm glad we can all find some time in our lives to laugh, but today's episode is covering something that is most certainly not a laughing matter. It's one of the most serious addictions striking America today and it's rarely talked about. I'm talking about people who love to pee on their mattresses and then pay people exorbitant amounts of money to suck their disgusting mattresses clean.
  • Audience: ... *someone clears their throat*
  • Dr. Phil: What's the matter?
  • Cameraguy: Spsss, Doc. That's not what the episode is about. It's about people with terrible gambling issues.
  • Dr. Phil: Oh, ah, fuck! Cut to commercial!
Say That Again

Summary: Soulmate AU. Everyone hears a key word or phrase in their head from their soulmate, something only heard in person when the moment is right.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Word Count: 2,543

Warnings: language, self-consciousness, fluff, that’s basically it

A/N: This is my submission for the lovely wonderful talented @bladebarnes’ 2k Celebration Challenge. My prompt was 35. quote: “Say that again.” I saw Baby Driver recently and couldn’t get the diner thing out of my head.

Originally posted by coporolight

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so @nidsk and I were talking about chess and how denmark might just be the exact kind of lovestruck dork who painstakingly makes his own chess pieces because norway happens to like chess

[TRANS] ‘Seventeen’ Magazine 2017 Aug Issue - BTS Interview (P2)

JPN - KRN © cher_bts
KRN - ENG © ktaebwi

Currently on tour, BTS’ popularity has crossed borders and is spreading around the world!

RAP MONSTER: We came to many countries but Brazil left the most impression on me. I learned for the first that through the local news that they set up tents and stayed outside the concert venue few days ahead to buy our concert tickets.
JIMIN: I was really surprised!
SUGA: We travel around the world but mostly we just stay inside the hotel. I use the remaining time to make music there. That’s why I always carry around music equipment.
RAP MONSTER: You have a pot too. (laughs) He uses an electric pot to boil water and cook ramyeon or instant food he brought from Korea to eat.
J-HOPE: It’s really important. I bring a pillow too. It’s not too firm or too soft and fits my neck perfectly. I don’t have to worry even if the hotel’s pillow doesn’t fit!
JIN: I play guitar which I’m into lately in the hotel. We all do what each of us wants.
V: I bring my favorite book of Gogh and read it.
JUNGKOOK: I’m listening to music on my speaker… But the other members often scold me.
V: They said it’s too noisy. (laughs)
J-HOPE: When we say so he lowers the volume. (laughs) One time Rap Monster scolded him and he turned the volume down, but he couldn’t hear the sound like that so he brought the speaker to his ears to listen. I laughed and asked if he did all of that so he could listen on speaker.
JUNGKOOK: I told you the sound is different!
RAP MONSTER: What does Jimin bring?
JIMIN: I don’t bring anything special. Bringing myself is enough ♡

The real side of each person only the members know.

JIMIN: Our leader Rap Monster-hyung is a clumsy “destruction god”. Not just breaking stuffs, he also loses his phone time to time, tripping when there’s nothing around, or spilling coffee and stain Jin-hyung’s shirt… It happens a lot. (laughs)
SUGA: But he’s really smart. He’s got an excellent language ability and he’s the best at Japanese.
RAP MONSTER: I’m embarrassed~
V: J-hope is the dance leader, he dances the best. He’s also reliable and takes care of us well.
J-HOPE: I’m just doing my job.
JUNGKOOK: Are you being humble? (laughs)
J-HOPE: I’m serious. (laughs)
RAP MONSTER: Jin-hyung - the matnae* - takes care of us well too. He likes food so he cooks for us at the dorm or…
JIN: I’m busy recently so I can’t cook at all. I’m not eating a lot for my diet too.
SUGA: He shares a room with me. I hate when it’s loud so he always stays quiet for my sake. I like quietness and hate when there are too many people.
RAP MONSTER: He suddenly talks about himself when we’re talking about other members. Suga-hyung is really “mypace”**. And he’s always spaced out and lethargic. (laughs)
SUGA: I’m lethargic because I need to prepare my energy for music. Told you it all has a meaning! Jimin is “Slow Jimin”, this one word is enough. J-hope is the fastest and Jimin is the slowest. That’s the daily life of BTS.
JIN: But Jimin works harder than anyone else. He always dances or sings in the waiting room
RAP MONSTER: Is it the result of his effort? He has a cute face and great muscles.
SUGA: But… He’s always late.
ALL: (laugh)
JIMIN: Let’s talk about V next.
JUNGKOOK: He really is an amazing person.
V: I’m not amazing~
JUNGKOOK: He says that but he’s really amazing. (laughs) He talks out of the topic or question, even when everyone else is all “?”, he ignores and continues. And he forcefully makes everyone understand him.
V: I’m working hard on talking to the point too! But what can I do when I can’t think of anything? It’s hard for me too!
J-HOPE: I didn’t know that. (laughs) Our maknae Jungkook, as you can see, he’s perfectly handsome.
V: Is he always handsome like that? Hmh, is he…? When he sleeps… (giggles)
JUNGKOOK: What? (nervous)
J-HOPE: Nothing, you’re handsome when you seep too. It’s okay. (laughs)

*matnae: mathyung (eldest hyung) + maknae
**mypace: living or doing things without being affected by other people’s opinions or actions

The never-ending chatter of men! The close-knitted 7 people. When asked “What boosts your mood up?”, nearly all of them answered “The members”.

JIN: Sometimes we need to go work on our own… I indeed gets bored. It’s the same when we film individual cuts for music videos, if the members aren’t around I feel lonely.
JIMIN: The one who boosts my mood up is our maknae Jungkook. He’s mischievous so he always makes us laugh. But Jungkook said he likes tasty food more than me…
JUNGKOOK: Tasty food makes me happy ♡ If there’s food in front of me, I would take a bite out of happiness. Even if I’m full, it’s fine. I’ll get hungry soon after I sleep for a bit. I can keep eating all the time. (laughs)

For the question “What do you want to have at the moment?”, the answers of these 7 people who are busy everyday are!

RAP MONSTER: Time. I want to have some time with my family. I want to travel with my family. We had a concert in Japan last year and my parents along with my sister went on a trip. I couldn’t go with them… I was really upset.
J-HOPE: I have never had a family trip before too. I want to travel with my family!
JUNGKOOK: I want to travel too. To America or Japan. Who do I want to go with? (glances at J-hope sitting beside) J-hope-hyung ♡
J-HOPE: Wow! I’m happy! Jungkook finally knew how to live in life. (laughs)
V: I want to have time too, but I want to have paintings more. I like Gogh the most. There are around 10 paintings in my room.
JUNGKOOK: Are they real?
J-HOPE: If those are real they would cost hundreds of millions. (laughs)
JIN: I want to have an island. I filmed on some island last time and they said it can be bought with 30 billion.
RAP MONSTER: You don’t need to buy an island. We’re going to Hawaii or Okinawa anyway. (laughs) Oh snap, it’s time to end the interview! Let’s greet properly for the ending.
SUGA: Please listen to our single “Blood, Sweat & Tears” a lot and look forward to our Japan tour too. Please give BTS a lot of love!
RAP MONSTER: Our hearts are always… Seventeen ♡

P1

3

Hypothetical Handplates scenario in which Sans realizes he can teach himself Common.

(Ugh, tumblr is making them blurry for some reason so I guess full-view if you want the not-blurry version??)

Convoluted explanation incoming. Handplates is an Undertale fancomic by @zarla-s and if you like Papyrus and Sans, go read it, is good stuff. So I guess this is an AU fancomic of an AU fancomic? I dunno, the idea wouldn’t leave my brain until I did something with it. So. Zarla did a Christmas doodle where Gaster gave the boys a box of ginger cookies that had the word COOKIES on the side in big letters, and because my job gives me way too much time to think about random stuff, I realized something.

In Handplates, Gaster taught the bros to read and write Wingdings but deliberately did not teach them monster Common (ie: English) so they can’t read his nametag or anything. Thing is, Wingdings is a 1:1 substitution cipher for English. Every Wingdings symbol exactly equals an English letter; it’s not a different language, just a different set of pictures. As somebody who has taught herself a fair number of substitution ciphers, there are a few things you look for when you’re trying to translate a code and you don’t have a key in front of you. Most notably, single-letter words (in English they will usually be A or I) or double letters next to each other. Like the OO in “COOKIES”.

Sans is smart. Gaster has fed them junk food before and odds are good Sans knows how to spell “COOKIES”. The word is on the box in huge letters and Gaster just said it out loud, so it is fresh in Sans’ mind. That double-O is a huge tip-off. He would put it together that the word on the front of the box matches what’s inside. Once you figure out a few of the letters, it becomes steadily easier to decode the rest.

I feel like Gaster exposes the boys to enough Common (the nametag, food wrappers, computer monitors, the books Sans sits on) that Sans could pick it up with a proper starting point. Papyrus probably not, because he had a hard enough time with Wingdings, but Sans is eager for any opportunity to undermine Gaster and I’m sure he’d jump at the chance. In this comic he elects not to tell Papyrus, though. He doesn’t know Gaster has cameras in the cell (or even what a camera is) but he’s figured out that Gaster can spy on them somehow, and the last time Gaster caught them learning something he didn’t like, Papyrus got the ever-loving hell beat out of him. So Sans keeps quiet about it for now. And thus starts the long-standing tradition of keeping important secrets from his brother.

On the technical side, it took me a freakin’ week to sketch and outline this whole thing. Coloring and shading only took me like a day. In the meantime Zarla actually kinda addressed the cookie comic, but this was almost done by then so oh well. I’m finding my poses and proportions turn out a LOT better when I’m doodling skeletons, like what, drawing basic anatomy will make you better at anatomy, you don’t say?? A lot of this was a self-challenge to see if I could imitate Zarla’s art style, and I referenced previous Handplates comics a lot for the backgrounds and Sans’ face. Full disclosure: Gaster’s pose up there is basically copied from Zarla’s original comic because I was rushing through to get on to the actual meat of the story. He’s just here for setup. I had fun trying to figure out how to do his Lost Soul head though. Also, I hate Papyrus’ face from the front. Also also, it was tricky trying to convey “mentally translating an unknown alphabet into a known one” when pretty much everyone who sees this comic is already familiar with the “unknown” one and not the “known” one, but I think I pulled it off. 

TL;DR- I imitated somebody else’s style to do an AU of an AU; I am not Zarla; Zarla is the creator of Handplates and also Gaster’s pose in the first panel; I like ciphers too much and also I gave the cookies icing because that is the only kind of ginger cookie I know.

blue orchids

hanahaki & soulmate au (reposted)

pairing: jungkook | reader
genre: angst and a sprinkle of fluff
word count: 18.748
warnings: implied smut
disclaimer: I do not own the hanahaki disease concept.

I am immensely thankful for the talented people who have created art / edits for this story: x, x, x, x, x, x ♡ also, make sure to read moonlight (drabble from jimin’s pov) and home after rain (short sequel) after reading this story. enjoy!


You were eighteen years old when Jimin’s name showed up on your hand.

The day is fresh and clear in your memory: early December, the winds stronger than ever as they threatened to pierce through the windows of your room, hints of snowflake dancing in the air as the first snowfall augured an even sharper winter. There was a smile on your face that didn’t match the unrelenting coldness of the month, and even though the night was falling and the air felt icy on the tips of your fingers, there was only warmth in your chest as you went through the pictures of your phone.

Pictures of you and Jimin drinking hot chocolate, of clumsy iceskating, of funny faces that made you laugh out loud in the quietness of your bedroom. The feeling sparking in your chest could be considered somewhat dangerous— after all, you were just a girl that didn’t have any marks on her skin, a girl whose fate was yet to be decided. Something as enigmatic as love could be a treacherous thing, too risky for someone that couldn’t decide their destiny on their own.

Keep reading

The terrible life of Lena Luthor

And why I love her so much and she deserves the world.

First, let’s keep in mind that canonically Lena’s only 24 years old, according to the show’s timeline.

Now, in season 2 Lena was in 12 episodes. During those episodes, she was in danger/manipulated/hurt (physically and emotionally) 37 times.  Specifically, she almost died 8 times and in 5 of those times she was the target. She was hit once and knocked down and kidnapped twice.

Her own bother was the one behind the attempts against her life at the beginning . She was also constantly manipulated and lied to by her mother and later by her new mother figure/mentor. So it’s usually people close to her and people that she cares about  who end up hurting her.

Let’s also remember that the events of season two happened in less than a year! I wonder how she seems so unfazed by all of her trauma. You would think she would at least have some kind of PTSD by now. Then again, this show hasn’t been great at tackling this subject.

Also, from what we’ve seen of season three this trend of her almost dying and getting hurt isn’t going to stop. What does she have to do to get a break?! I think it’s fair to say that Lena seriously needs a therapist and a bodyguard. Also all the love.

Let’s break down everything she’s been through (that we know) and who she is despite all of that. With gifs! 


Before National City. 

- Her biological mother died when she was four.

- Lionel lied to her and never told her he was her biological father.

- Was given the cold shoulder by Lillian and was constantly manipulated and reminded that she wasn’t a real Luthor.

- The brother she loved turned out to be evil.

- After her brother went to jail and she took over Luthor Corp her boyfriend at the time made her choose between him and her family’s company.


Now, during the show:

2x01

1. She was supposed to be on the Venture.

Keep reading

5

based on this post | follow up pt2

💢 PLEASE DO NOT REBLOG TO NON-KINK BLOGS 💢

Drarry Secret Santa
  • It’s decided that the Eighth Years should do a Secret Santa gift exchange to continue the newfound effort towards House Unity that was started at the beginning of the new term.
  • So of course, because Harry can’t catch a break, he managed to draw Draco Malfoy as his person.
  • He’s stressed AF and wracking his brain to think of something that Malfoy would even want, something he won’t spit on. 
  • Harry gets annoyed when Malfoy plays it off like it’s going to be super easy to get his person a gift, which makes Harry even more Determined™ 
  • Except, secretly Draco is also stressed AF because holy shit everything he thinks of is stupid, what can he possibly get the Boy Who Lived??? Fuck, fuck!
  • Draco trails through Hogsmeade looking at Quidditch supplies, expensive leather-bound journals, and fine bottles of goblin wine before deciding that all of those gifts wouldn’t matter to Potter — with the exception of Quidditch, obviously.
  • But he’s certain that gifting Potter something Quidditch-related won’t have enough of an impact.
  • He wanted to get a gift that meant something, something to thank Potter for saving his life.
  • Harry nearly gave up as the day to exchange their presents drew nearer, but then he found Malfoy’s wand in the bottom of his trunk.
  • He knew it was the perfect gift.
  • After a few false starts, Draco finally figured out something clever to gift to Potter, something that no other Secret Santa would have thought of.
  • He was proud of himself for figuring out the puzzle, and he’s actually eager to see Potter’s face when he opened Draco’s gift.
  • When the time finally came to exchange gifts in a circle around the Eighth Year common room, they each went last to give their gifts.
  • When it’s clear that they had presents for each other, they both nod to leave the room.
  • Malfoy insisted that Harry open his first.
  • Harry fully expected something over the top, expensive, and uselessly ridiculous.
  • But his breath caught when he opened the leather-bound text, engraved with a family crest on the cover with the name Potter emblazoned on a scroll in the center.
  • As he flipped through the pages Malfoy explained that he tracked down a complete family history of the Potters for Harry.
  • And holy shit, Malfoy’s present made Harry’s heart pound in his chest while his throat went all tight and dry???
  • Harry got choked up over his gift as the reality of it sank in. He carefully ran his fingers over the engraving while Malfoy shifted his weight from foot to foot nervously, blurting out facts about the gift that Harry only paid half of his attention to.
  • Harry wiped at his eyes roughly, a little embarrassed, but Malfoy gave him such an important gift.
  • He took a breath and held out his own gift for Malfoy.
  • “I thought it was about time you had this back. It served me well, so, er, thanks.”
  • Draco didn’t even speak for a full minute, his eyes were just locked on his wand in Harry’s outstretched hand.
  • Harry could see his hand shaking at his side.
  • When Harry finally handed Draco the wand, he hugged Harry really tightly and whispered thank you.
  • Draco kissed Harry’s cheek as he pulled away, startling Harry.
  • His lips felt so soft and warm against Harry’s skin.
  • They stared at each other until Harry slowly, carefully pulled Draco back to him, and lightly kissed his cheek in return.
  • They smiled tentatively at each other, each clutching their gifts, as they reached for each other’s hand.
  • Absolutely no one was surprised when they walked back into the common room holding hands.
Miraculous Headcanon

Warning: i have been adding to this headcanon for nearly a month so it is pretty long xD OOPS SORRY NOT SORRY (i did put a cut though, so, yeah) NO REGRETS

  • Marinette is a youtuber
  • Her channel consists of mostly sped up videos of her drawing designs and making her designs. Some have voice over, some have soothing and relaxing music.
  • Her channel blew up
  • Partially because, wow, she’s really talented for only being in high school
  • And people just really enjoyed watching her work, it’s very unique
  • Sometimes she’ll do simple tutorials on how to make a simple skirt, or get started on designing, but those are more rare videos
  • She has a second channel that is less professional than her main, where she posts a bunch of random vlogs that her and Alya take whenever they do something interesting, or even some random challenges. Most of these videos involve Alya, since she got Marinette to make a second channel for fun vlogs
  • Her international followers (#subtitles) find it very interesting anytime she talks about Ladybug and Chat Noir because there are legit superheroes in Paris and no other part of the world has seen that.
  • They vlog all sorts of things
    • going to the craft store for new fabrics, buttons, patterns, literally anything Marinette needs for her next project (or they’re just bored)
    • They record random things they see around Paris, cosplayers of LB and CN, pigeons being weird, aesthetics
    • Alya and Marinette have a weekly “review” which includes Alya buying something for Marinette to review- mostly themed around her favorite heroes
    • Sometimes just walking around the mall. Nino is spotted in many vlogs as well, but Adrien is rarely seen since he is already around so many cameras in his normal life Marinette is respecting his privacy
  • A lot more below the cut because I have been working on this headcanon for nearly a month!

Keep reading

How them 2000s live actions kids shows be
  • Normal Girl: *internally* I'm just a normal high school girl. I suck at math. I hate my parents. When someone asks me about my opinion on complex socioeconomic issues, I just go "What the heck!?" and start "texting" or something like that. My life would be just like yours, except for one thing: I have an amazing power... I can talk to cetaceans!
  • *at the docks, a bell tolls as our normal protagonist hears the voices of cetaceans bubbling in her mind*
  • Normal Girl: *staring deeply into the ocean*
  • Best Friend: Ahoy! What're you doing?
  • Normal Girl: Just staring into the oceanic abyss, thinking about how much I hate my parents. *internally* I have to keep my ability to speak to cetaceans secret or else... uh...
  • Best Friend: Haha, I feel that, friend. What a colorful life we teens live, our seaside environment awakening a rumbling darkness within ourselves of which we mull on our own with nothing but the unbounding depths of the ocean as our one escape. An escape which serves to only maim our fragile egos with newfound adolescent anxieties.
  • Normal Girl: What are you even talking about?
  • Best Friend: I don't know. I haven't slept in a week. Let's go to the mall.
  • *at the mall*
  • Normal Girl: *internally* My town might as well be called Lamesville. Nothing ever happens here, but the mall can be pretty fun. It's only place in the whole town with anything in it that isn't fish or excessive amounts of woodlice.
  • Best Friend: ...So I'd just dance and I'd dance until my feet broke. When that happened, I'd just get up and dance on my broken feet. And I did this until they were raw and blood was everywhere. I kept waking up in the morning extremely exhausted after this dream. I decided to record myself one night and it turns out I was dancing in my sleep. I haven't slept since I saw that. *leans in close to the normal girl* I'm afraid of what I'll do in my sleep.
  • Normal Girl: Wow, sounds weird... I guess. *sips coffee*
  • Best Friend: OMIGAWD! It's Chad Alphakid. He's coming this way!
  • *the normal girl and her best friend squee*
  • Normal Girl: *externally* That's Chad Alphakid. Who is he? He's only the hottest most coolest boy in this entire lame city. I've been crushing on him since I was like twelve.
  • Chad: Uh, okay.
  • Normal Girl: Did I just say that out loud!?
  • Chad: *sits at the table* Listen, I don't care what you or your friend think of me. I need help!
  • Best Friend: Have you murdered somebody?
  • Normal Girl: Do you need a girlfriend?
  • Chad: No, it's the ocean. The sound of her waves crashing against the shore is like a faultless siren song. There isn't a single night where I don't have visions of floating within her cold embrace. The allure of her boundless depths beckon to me like a lover. I'm afraid that if I don't get help soon, I'll find myself taken away by her to a fate unknown.
  • Normal Girl: *internally* Great, this is a chance to finally use my power to speak to cetaceans to my benefit! *externally* But why do you need us to help you?
  • Chad: You guys are the biggest fucking degenerate weirdos in this washed up town. If anyone knows how to deal with this, it's you two.
  • Best Friend: Haha, truuuuuu!
  • Normal Girl: I'm not a weirdo! I'm a completely normal girl.
  • Chad: Dude, you fucking talk to fish.
  • Best Friend: You do talk to fish.
  • Normal Girl: I don't talk to fish! *internally* I talk to cetaceans, they're mammals, not fish. Also, that's supposed to be a secret, dammit!
  • *at the shore*
  • Chad: Ah, Mother Ocean! Take me!! Take me!!! *attempts to run into the ocean, but gets held back by the normal girl and her best friend*
  • Best Friend: Simmer down, aqualad!
  • Chad: Why did you fools take me here, if not to release into the embrace of sweet Mother Ocean!?
  • Normal Girl: We talked it over and we decided that the best way to get you over your obsession is make you hate the ocean.
  • Chad: Does it involve you talking to fish?
  • Normal Girl: Yes, I mean no. I mean, fuck! Cetaceans aren't fish.
  • *the normal girl sits at the edge of shore, her eyes rolls up in her head as she proceeds to make fucked up porpoise sounds*
  • Normal Girl: *falls over limp*
  • Best Fried: She died.
  • Chad: Does this mean that I'm free to wade into Mother Ocean and meet my fate among her ever chaotic waes?
  • Best Friend: *lets chad go* Yeah, dude. I'm too far gone to care about things anymore.
  • Chad: *strips off all of his clothes* Good. I now understand that there was no avoiding this. This was always a forgone conclusion. My fate is with the waves. Sayonara, weird best friend guy.
  • Chad: *runs into the ocean*
  • Best Friend: *kicks the normal girl's body* Guess she really is dead.
  • Best Friend: *walks home as the night encroaches* My closest friend is dead, and Chad is probably dead too. I wonder where my fate lies?
  • Best Friend: *yawns* Maybe I should go to sleep and just dance myself to death finally. No, I don't think I could go to sleep even if I wanted to anymore. I'm probably going to die from exhaustion in the next few days, not having felt rest or comfort again. Or maybe I'll just stay awake forever. I feel like I was supposed to have an epiphany here, or some type of awakening. But, there's nothing. I feel like everything I've ever done has been pointless. God, I'm just really tired.
  • *back at the shore*
  • Porpoise: *beaches itself*
  • *a gray fleshy version of the normal girl crawls halfway out of the porpoises mouth*
  • Normal Girl: There goes my corpse! *drags her weird porpoise body towards the corpse* Why did I die with such a dumb expression on my face? Lame! I hope Chad didn't see.
  • Normal Girl: *looks around with beady eyes* No one's here. I can finally do this.
  • Normal Girl: *kisses her dead body on the lips* Blargh!
  • Normal Girl: *spits out blood* I bit my tongue when I died. Gross. I guess I can cross making out with my dead body and becoming a mermaid off of my bucket list, though.
  • Normal Girl: *sighs*
Front Row Seat

Jenna knew the Samwell men’s hockey team.

Of course she did. Everyone did. But she especially did because she was on the Samwell women’s hockey team.

She knew it wasn’t a phenomenon exclusive to the Samwell Women’s Hockey Team – the lack of recognition for female athletics. But the men’s hockey team were so especially over the top, most of Jenna’s classmates didn’t even know Samwell had a women’s hockey team.

Jenna knew it wasn’t the team’s fault. When Jack Zimmermann had been captain, he’d been really good about scheduling ice time and showing up to home games when he could for support. The two captains after, Ransom and Holster, invited the team to every kegster (they invited the entire school so that wasn’t that big of a gesture but it was still nice to be recognized as a team), And Eric Bittle, the most precious bean Jenna had ever met, still sends them a couple pies every time they win a game.

They were good and kind dudes.

But they were absolutely ridiculous.

Jenna didn’t have to know the men’s hockey team to know William Poindexter and Derek Nurse.

“I’m just saying! How else do you explain an image without written alphabet conveying a singular message to tens of thousands of people?”

“Nurse, you’re not going to convince me memes are their own language, okay? You’re just not.”

“Where’s your sense of curiosity, Poindexter? Where’s your finesse?”

“I don’t know, where’s your chill, Nurse?”

Jenna bit her lip to keep from laughing. She didn’t need to turn around to see the scandalized look on Derek Nurse’s face.

It would have been so easy to resent SMH. They got all the glory, they got all the girls, and Jenna’s team worked just as hard as they did.

Instead, Jenna decided it would be healthier for her and more fun to instead choose to enjoy their antics. Especially since she had a front row seat to the world’s saltiest D-men.

Or, more of a third row seat. The row right in front of the row Nursey and Dex sat in, every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday in Pop Culture Theory.

Every day a new adventure.

“I honestly can’t believe this.”

“Let it go Poindexter.”

“To hell with that, I need to bask in this.”

“Nothing to bask about, asshole, it’s not a big deal.”

“Not a big deal? Nursey, you have never read The Lord of the Rings. And I have! This is unprecedented.”

“Nice five dollar word there, book boy.”

“Oh, get fucked, Derek.”



“I’ll kill you, Nurse.”

“I don’t think you will. I do not think you’ll do that. Because you love me.”

“The Lord is testing me.”

“Will, what does that mean? Are you calling me the Lord? That is kind of you.”

“One more haiku, Nurse, I swear to God.”

“What is this I hear? Using the Lord’s name in vain? You bad Cath’lic boy.”

Nurse.

“I’m not saying you’re sexist if you can’t acknowledge that Jessica Jones is marvel’s best long form origin story, but why, William, do you hate women?”

“I can’t believe you, of all people, are arguing with me about this. How could you not agree with me that Luke Cage is the best?”

“Oh, what, because I’m part black?”

“Yes, as a matter of fact, and that’s not racist! That’s me acknowledging all that shit you’ve ever said about privilege and cultural oppression and recognizing the representation of that through Luke Cage . The show is literally about a black man the police can’t gun down! You don’t appreciate that?”

“Oh I can definitely appreciate that. That message is dope! And I think you’re mad woke for your active listening. But, just, in narrative framing and character arcs and visual story-telling, Jessica Jones is leagues a-fucking-bove. Also her character is a nice subversion of traditional leading lady portrayals.”

“Yeah, no, she’s a badass.”

“For real. And at least we can agree they’re both better than fucking Iron Fist.”

“Yeah, no, fuck that guy.”

“Heard.”

Jenna’s favorite, though, happened on one of the last Wednesday classes before finals.

They weren’t already talking when they came in to take their usual seats. That wasn’t weird, they didn’t talk a lot of mornings. Jenna knew from word of mouth that their friendship was tenuous on the best of days so it made sense for them to keep quiet on some days.

No, the funny part – the amazing part – was after a good ten minutes of silence, thirty seconds before class was slated to begin, Jenna heard Nurse turn in his desk and casually ask, in a bored voice, apropos of nothing , “So you want a blowjob after this?”

Jenna tried not to choke. She could not laugh. She could not let them know she listened in on them every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday,

But Poindexter just paused and then sighed really dramatically before saying “Yes.” As if Nursey was really putting him out by offering him a blowjob.

Jenna absolutely needed to excuse herself she was so in danger of laughing herself into a coma but just then class began so she had to quietly have a heart attack for the next 40 minutes.

Jenna was the only woman on her team completely unsurprised to see the D-Men making out against a wall at the next kegster.

anonymous asked:

[whispers] soulmate au where you can steven universe style fuse with your soulmate(s)

*star eyes* Oh my gosh I love this idea!

So.

  • Everyone is born with a gem/precious stone (or sometimes a metal or mineral that wouldn’t normally be considered a gemstone) somewhere on their body. This isn’t a full-on gemsona situation, but gemstones as this AU’s soulmark equivalent.
  • There’s a hereditary component to what gem you get, but it’s not simple inheritance. (i.e. You have a higher probability of having the same gem as one of your parents, and some family lines run relatively pure, but it’s also common to share a gem with a more distant relative, or to have something your family hasn’t seen in recent generations)
  • Gems come in “families,” so even if a certain bloodline runs pure, there’s still going to be a little variation. For example, the beryl family–beryl, emerald, aquamarine, heliodor, ect–are very closely related. Hunk’s family tends toward beryl gems.
  • On that topic:
  • Hunk has a heliodor (a stone associate with warmth and sunshine) on his chest [example of a heliodor]
  • Pidge has a malachite (associated with nature and supposedly good at preventing sensory overload) at the nape of her neck [example of malachite]
  • Matt has a goethite (associated with grief and raw emotion, often found with malachite deposits) on the inside of his wrist [example of goethite]
  • Shiro has a black opal (associated with karma and the cosmos, and often thought to bring misfortune despite also being regarded as a healing stone; the black variant is notable for the stark contrast with the blues, greens, reds, and yellows contained within) at his collarbone [example of a black opal]
  • Lance has a turquoise (associated with luck and ambition, but also unity and leadership, and said to confer protection if given to you by a friend) on the back of his left hand [example of turquoise]
  • Keith has a vein of luxite (the metal in his mother’s blade, and not something anyone on Earth recognizes) across his right palm. He wears his gloves in part to hide it.
  • Theoretically, anyone can fuse with anyone else, but the vast majority of fusions are unstable. There’s no way to tell who can form a stable fusion with whom until it happens
  • The official definition of “soulmate” is “a pair or grouping that can remain fused indefinitely.” Since it’s obviously impossible to prove that you can stay fused forever, and since most unstable fusions fall apart quickly, the cutoff is often set at five minutes. Any people who can stay fused longer than that are considered soulmates (if they choose to label themselves that way.)
  • There’s also no way to tell from gems or from the fusion itself if the bond is romantic or platonic. You’d have to ask the people involved.
  • That doesn’t stop people from coming up with a millions theories anyway. (”Romantic partners always have the same gem!” “Romantic partners NEVER have the same gem!” “Platonic partners will always have gems in the same family!” “There are romantic sets–but good luck reaching an agreement on what the sets are.”)
  • Fusions look just like regular people with a few exceptions: they’ll have 2+ gems, but depending on placement you might not be able to tell; their eyes will usually be banded the colors of members of the fusion, but you have to look closely to notice; and there will sometimes be additional markings in the colors of the gems, often forming a trail connecting the two gems.
  • Other than those minor physical differences, fusions are also notably different if you look at brain scans. They don’t generally maintain two (or more) separate consciousnesses, but they retain the knowledge, memories, and capabilities of the people involved, and they tend to have much higher levels of brain activity on any given task. Fusions who are familiar with their fused state tend to be more dexterous, have better reflexes, and be physically stronger than their unfused counterparts, and they tend to solve problems more quickly and more efficiently.

The rest of this (i.e. the Voltron ‘verse story) is going under a cut because this is already long.

Keep reading

1. i don’t know how to say this so i’m just going to say it - don’t text me anymore. don’t call me. don’t ask me how i am when you feel lonely. don’t check up on me. don’t tell me you’re doing well. i don’t want to hear it. i don’t want to hear it because you fucking broke me. GOODBYE.

2. hey, okay, sooo i thought i could be friends with you but it hurts too much. not that you hurt me that much. no, i’m okay. i don’t cry in the shower anymore. some nights i actually fall asleep before 4 a.m. but then there’s some nights where i think about you and her kissing and it’s all that’s on my mind for days. no, no, it’s not like that. it’s not that i love you anymore or that i’m jealous. i just hate you for what you did to me. so yeah, anyways, just thought you should know i don’t want to be friends. hope you’re doing well though. maybe our paths will cross again.

3. i told myself many, many months ago that if i wanted this to work, if i wanted us to be friends, i couldn’t talk to you about my feelings ever again. i couldn’t turn every conversation into our failed relationship. so for many, many months, i’ve been letting it eat at me instead. i don’t want it to eat at me anymore and you don’t want to listen to me whine so i think this has to end. sorry.

4. hey, listen: some days i’m fine, but the smallest things get to me. like i’m pretty sure i saw you on her snapchat story. it’s none of my business, but i’m really mad at you for it. i’m really mad that you still talk to that girl you chose over me and you still like all of these girls’ facebook photos but you never like mine. and it’s not fair for me to be mad at you for having friends or being happy, i have no right to be, you didn’t do anything wrong. but it still gets to me, still eats away at me, still makes me want to knock down your door and ask you why the fuck you had to leave, why you had to do anything you did, why i poured all of my love into you that i didn’t have any left for myself and you took it and gave it to somebody else. god, this hurts. i don’t want you to know how badly this hurts but it does. i’m leaving you and taking this hurt with me.

5. hey, hope you’re doing well, but this still feels like a nightmare i’ll never wake up from. and i’m sorry, i’m so fucking sorry, it’s not fair to you to have to listen to this shit because it’s been two whole years and i’m still not over it. and that’s my problem, not yours. it will never be your fault that i’m so goddamn sensitive. i’ve never been able to get over anything and i hate myself for it. please let me heal. please leave.

6. hey, remember the summer where i hooked up with the first guy who wasn’t you, when you had me blocked on everything and i couldn’t see what you were up to? well, i still read my posts from that summer and i was actually HAPPY. can you believe that? i was actually going about my life without you and i wasn’t thinking about what you did to me. but here i am again, thinking about it and the only thing that’s changed is that you speak to me. and i would love to be friends with you, i would, i’ve been trying so hard to be for months, but it’s making me so damn miserable. and i’m so jealous that she gets to be friends with you and i don’t. i’m sorry i’m not her. i’m sorry i never will be.

7. i’ve been ignoring your messages on purpose and you keep texting me again and it’s exhausting to have to ignore you all of the time and feel so guilty about it. i just don’t understand how you just don’t get the hint. so here’s a bigger one: LEAVE ME ALONE.

8. hey, okay, i know this is sudden but i don’t want to hear from you anymore. i don’t want to think about this anymore. i want to move on with my life and there’s no room for you in it. it was stupid of me to think that just because you’ve always been a good friend to me that we can be friends. we can’t.

9. hey. first off, i want to say i’m sorry, i just need to do what’s best for me. secondly, thank you for always being there when i needed you, but i don’t need you anymore. for now, it has to be just me. it feels like i’m breaking up with you and we’re not even dating, but this is it - this is goodbye. forever. don’t contact me.

10. all you ever did was hurt me. fuck you. i don’t want to see your stupid fucking name on my phone anymore. fucking get out. leave.

—  10 text messages i’m afraid to send because i don’t want to say goodbye to you, not again
10

A Richonne Ranking: 40 Moments
[23] Toothpaste – The Next World, 6x10

Now this, this is the show I want to watch: casual co-parenting in the apocalypse. The Next World is probably my favorite episode ever. It’s bookended by two perfect Richonne scenes, starting with this one, which serves to effectively reset the narrative after Carl’s near fatal gunshot wound. If you were anticipating dramatic aftermath, tough luck! We got ourselves some heavy domesticity instead! What a timely reminder to us all of how slight the shift will be when Richonne becomes official. In about… ooh, 40 minutes. Set your watches.

Michonne’s never been more relaxed onscreen than in this moment, robe-clad and grinning away as she rolls her head from Rick to Carl. (And just look at the way she watches Rick with Judith in the eighth gif.) Likewise, Rick is in embarrassing dad mode without a care in the world. We see two people who are exactly where they’re supposed to be. She even says to him, in some high-key flirting, “You be good out there.” The sweet little hand touch as they walk away reminds me of tennis doubles players between points; they don’t need to stop and check in with each other – they’re on the same page without words. And for one playful extra detail, as if to support my unnecessary tennis analogy, the ball gets passed back to Michonne just at the very last second. It’s in her court now.

  • Danai: The bonding of [almost losing Carl in No Way Out] and the fact they have a newly formed life now — it’s two months later, they get Carl back, and they’re able to rebuild Alexandria. Rick transformed as well. He’s able to take on all that Deanna used to say and that Michonne would encourage him to believe — to come to Alexandria and consider himself one of these people. He’s now much more hopeful and I think that’s something that appeals to Michonne as well. They’re in a place where they can actually allow their hearts to express themselves. Things are stable and better, they have a new lease on life.
  • Andy: It makes complete sense. It was that sort of domesticated, familial relaxation between old friends.