Suga and Daichi fuck.
NICE TRY ANON.
“Last night I had an interesting dream.”
Sugawara, Oikawa, and Kenma turned towards Akaashi as he made the statement.
“Please, share,” Sugawara clasped his hands politely in front of him on the table.
“I love hearing about people’s dreams!” Oikawa rested his chin in a cradle of his hands, smiling intently at Akaashi.
Kenma let out a low groan, “If this is another dream about Bokuto’s biceps I swear I’m leaving.”
Akaashi was silent for a long moment.
Kenma started to stand but Sugawara dragged him back down.
“Please, continue, Akaashi-san,” he said warmly.
“Okay, so Bokuto-san was doing pull-ups. His biceps were glistening with oil-”
“Ughhhhh,” Kenma slumped back in his chair. “Not again. Please, can we talk about something else?”
“I want to hear about Bokuto’s glistening biceps,” Sugawara said.
“Me too,” Oikawa mused. “Iwa-chan is still out of town so I need new biceps to fuel my libido so that when he comes home we can have the best sex of my life.”
“Then why don’t you just think about Iwaizumi-san?” Kenma scowled.
“Well if I tell Iwa-chan I fantasized about other men, then he will get jealous and fuck me even har-”
“Okay, sorry I asked.”
“Actually, I’d like to hear about that too,” Sugawara said.
“Me too,” Akaashi admitted.
“So it’s settled,” Sugawara nodded. “After we are done hearing about Akaashi’s sexy dream, we will hear about how hard Iwaizumi is going to fuck Oikawa when he gets him jealous.”
“No deal,” Kenma grabbed his drink and stood. “I’ll be at the counter. Goodbye.”
Sugawara grabbed him by the back of his hoodie and dragged him down to his seat once more. He looked to Akaashi and smiled, “Continue, Akaashi.”
Kenma groaned as Akaashi cleared his throat and began once again.
“So Bokuto-san was doing pull-ups. He was shirtless and was covered in oil. Except his hands, of course. It would be difficult to do pull-ups with oily hands.”
“Very difficult,” Oikawa agreed.
“Maybe even impossible,” Sugawara lifted his glass to his lips and sipped.
“I hate you guys,” Kenma grumbled.
“So this went on for several minutes,” Akaashi and the others ignored Kenma’s growling. “As I was watching, suddenly… these huge wings sprouted from Bokuto-san’s back.”
“Oh man, I bet the pull-ups were so easy after that,” Sugawara’s eyes widened.
“They probably would’ve been,” Akaashi agreed. “But he stopped doing pull-ups. And he started flying around. And then his shorts came off-”
Kenma slumped over the table and moaned into the wood.
“But instead of his normal lower body,” Akaashi went on, “It was the body of a horse.”
“So he was like a…” Oikawa’s brows furrowed. “Centaur… Pegasus?”
“Exactly. So then, this voice echoed all around and it was like, He who tames the Pegasus and earns his trust, will become the president of the United States. And so of course, I don’t care about becoming the president of the United States, but I was interested in taming Bokuto-san.”
“Naturally,” Sugawara nodded slowly.
“So I entered the competition to tame Bokuto-san,” Akaashi said. “Oikawa-san was there too. He wanted to become president of the United States, eradicate capitalism, and become a dictator. And the first law you wanted to put into action was that everyone had to have the same hair as you.”
“Well now, this sounds a little too real to be a dream,” Oikawa lifted his hands in a dainty shrug.
“But Iwaizumi-san didn’t want to spend two hours styling his hair every morning, so he was competing against you,” Akaashi added.
“So the competition started, and all these fireworks went off, startling Bokuto-san. He flew away. Everyone went looking for him but couldn’t find him. But I knew where he was.”
“Where was he?” Sugawara leaned forward, eyes bright.
“Let me guess,” Kenma muttered. “He was at the bar.”
“You’re right, Kenma.”
“Ohhhh good one, Kenma!” Sugawara offered his hand to slap but Kenma shunned it.
“So I run to the bar, and there’s a huge hole in the wall. Also, for some reason, the bar was painted neon pink…”
“Because it’s gay,” Oikawa said.
“Really gay,” Sugawara confirmed.
“So I crawled through the hole in the wall and Bokuto-san was standing on the counter. I went up to him and I told him that I was there to tame him. At first, he argued with me, but then I took off my shirt and-”
“Please don’t tell me you had weird centaur sex,” Kenma interrupted tiredly. Dark bags hung under his eyes as he regarded the other man wearily.
“No, unfortunately not,” Akaashi let out a sigh.
“Oh thank god.”
“So on my chest was this huge tattoo of Meryl Streep-”
“What the fuck?” Sugawara whispered.
“Holding a flame thrower-”
“What the fuck?” Oikawa whispered.
“Riding a griffin-”
Kenma tried to stand but Sugawara yanked him back down.
“And her hair was in corn rows.”
“I fucking hate you guys,” Kenma said.
Akaashi ignored him, “And Bokuto-san just started crying. And he turned around and on the side of his horse body, he had a grey marking that looked exactly like the tattoo.”
“This is super romantic,” Sugawara said.
“And then he said he was hungry, so I went into the kitchen…” Akaashi looked to Sugawara, “And Sugawara-san and Daichi-san were in there, making love on the stove.”
“WILD!” Sugawara jumped to his feet. “THEN WHAT?”
“Then… that was it. The dream ended.”
“Ehhhhh?” Sugawara pouted. “No… give me more details about me and Daichi fucking.”
“Uhm… well I only caught a glimpse,” he shrugged. “You were on top of him though… and you were wearing a Tiki mask, but I knew it was you because Daichi-san was like, Oh Suga. Suga… lick my buttery nipples…”
“Wild,” Oikawa muttered.
Sugawara let out a loud whine and stomped his feet. “No fair! Even Akaashi’s dream Suga gets more dick than I do!”
He sat down with a huff, arms crossed over his chest. The table fell silent for a long minute before Kenma muttered,
“I can’t decide what’s more unbelievable about that dream. Bokuto’s wings, his horse body, the Meryl Streep tattoo, the president of the United States thing-”
“Don’t you dare,” Sugawara warned.
A slow smirk spread over Kenma’s lips, “Or the fact that Sugawara actually got laid.”
“Oh fuck you, Kenma.”