and im not sure if this is the last you'll see of it

Love Letters for the Signs
  • Aries:
  • do you remember that time that we went to the river and everyone was jumping off the edge of the bank and we argued for ten minutes about who was going to go first because you wanted to and i said that i did too well i was actually terrified but i wanted to go first and make sure it was safe for you because you mean everything to me
  • Taurus:
  • i forgot to eat today i forgot to eat today and yesterday and im sitting on my bed wondering why i can't remember to feed myself and i realised it's because you're not here and i miss you and i know that i should learn to take care of myself but im afraid that if i do you'll never need to come back so please come back before i starve
  • Gemini:
  • i used to hate the way that you made me yell down the stairs after i made a loud noise to let you know that i was okay and sometimes i'd yell as soon as I dropped the laptop/desk drawer/picture frame to beat you to the shouting bit but for the last thirty minutes I've been sporadically dropping all of my book down the stairs hoping you'll call up because i want to hear your voice
  • Cancer:
  • there's a sound that you make that i try to avoid at all costs because the first time that I heard it i froze i froze inside of it and i let it's beautiful anguish swaddle me until i was sure that i would drown inside you and that was okay but i swore that if i survived i would never make you sad and i survived so please love me back
  • leo:
  • i've never been able to understand the way that you look at me like you are going to swallow me whole between sips of your coffee so sometimes/always i try to remind you that i'm poisonous and i always try to remind you that i'm defective and you always kiss me hard in the middle of my forehead and i think that's why i'll never stop loving you
  • virgo:
  • let's make a bet that in ten years i'll still be sleeping next to you every night and if you win and i'm not sleeping next to you every night then you get to break into my tastefully large and likely extremely expensive house and curl up beside me because you know i still save the left side of the bed for you and if i win and i'm still sleeping next to you every night then we'll call it even because i already have everything i've ever wanted
  • Libra:
  • every time that you touch me i feel my skin go translucent under your finger tips and i remember what it is like to feel skin against my skin and i know that you can see right through me and i know that you know what I'm thinking but it doesn't really matter because i felt your skin against my skin and i know that nothing will feel real until you touch me again
  • Scorpio:
  • the last time that i saw you was in a dream and for some reason i thought that if i could talk to dream you then maybe dream you could give real you a message from me and i was just wondering if it worked and if it did then why haven't i heard from you so just in case it didn't work i told dream you to tell real you that i haven't forgotten us
  • Sagittarius:
  • have you ever wondered what would have happened if we had never met do you think that we would be okay like do you think that we would find happiness without each other because i was thinking about it and i think that i would still feel like something was missing even if i didn't know that it was my most important something
  • Capricorn:
  • So I'm sitting on the curb nursing another twisted knee and i realise that even though i know that you could leave me broken i will still follow you to the ends of the earth and through every stitched cut and relocated shoulder that would have never been dislocated if we had just stayed on the path like i had suggested i'll remember our first night when you taught me to nurse my wounds and fade old scars and it will be worth it
  • Aquarius:
  • sometimes i wish that i could burrow through your iris to the part of your skull where you feel all of the secrets and regrets slowly spilling into the stomach acid that you pretend you aren't choking on and i'm hoping that you'll find relief if i take some of the pressure but you have to let me in because i promise your demons don't scare me
  • Pisces:
  • you've always made the decisions when it comes to what we are going to eat or who's bed we're going to sleep in and i guess it's because i'm never really sure of anything and sometimes i'm afraid of what might happen if i make the wrong choice but with you i feel safe and i want you to know that even though i'm never really sure of anything i'm completely sure of this so maybe just trust me this time
Mordecai's Love Life Abridged - The Thrilling Saga
  • Mordecai: *sees Margaret*
  • Rigby: Go ask her out! She seems nice...
  • Mordecai: lol wut
  • Rigby: Go ask lady pecs out
  • Mordecai: You kiddin me, I ain't doin that shit
  • *five episodes later*
  • Mordecai: Alright, imma do it. I'm gonna do it
  • Margaret: Hey dude wassup?
  • Mordecai: Do you wanna... fuck.
  • Margaret: WHAT?!
  • Mordecai: Nevermind NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE *runs back to Rigby*
  • Rigby: Dude!
  • Mordecai: I tried man, I really did try
  • *he eventually makes up with Margaret and hangs around with her for four seasons not getting anywhere*
  • Mordecai: I'm gonna kiss that hot piece of shit
  • Rigby: Oh lord...
  • Mordecai: it'll be easy!
  • Mordecai: wtf
  • Mordecai: Ughhhhhhhhhhh
  • Margaret: What's this shit I'm hearing about a bet?
  • Mordecai: No.
  • Margaret: FUCK YOU MORDECAI. FUCK YOU. *runs off*
  • Mordecai: Noooooooooooooooo!!!!
  • Margaret: Oh you want me to save your sorry little ass from freezing to death? Tell me how you REALLY feel about me.
  • Margaret: *nearly kisses him*
  • Margaret: Fuck you you piece of shit
  • *a few episodes later*
  • Eileen: HORY SHIT GUYS A FUCKIN METEOR SHOWER IS GONNA HIT THIS TOWN WITH A BANG *inside her head* hello Rigby you rabie-filled hottie.
  • Mordecai: Cool! I'll be there.
  • *meteor shower hits*
  • Mordecai: Uhhhhhhhhhhh
  • Rigby: DO IT.
  • Mordecai: Stahp im emotionally unstable
  • Old potato guy: Bruh
  • Mordecai: Ughhhhh. Yo Margaret you wanna kiss?
  • *makes out*
  • Margaret: That was a great meteor shower (what the fuck just happened)
  • *dates for awhile*
  • Mordecai: Yo Margaret
  • Margaret: Goin' to college! Fuck you.
  • *loud emotional crying from Mordecai*
  • CJ: Hey Mordecai, I'm a cool ass cloud that puts up with zero shit, have all the same interests as you, and I kill people. You wanna date?
  • Mordecai: gee, I don't know, you're pretty cool, but-
  • Rigby: DO NOT.
  • Mordecai: Fine.
  • CJ: sick
  • *hangs out for awhile*
  • Mordecai and CJ: wut
  • Eileen: DO IT.
  • Mordecai: Fine, u down fo dis CJ?
  • CJ: sure
  • *date than ends with drama and Mordecai and CJ becoming canon*
  • Mordecai: I luv this cloud
  • Rigby: STAHP
  • Mordecai: What?!
  • Mordecai: ... bruh
  • *a few months later*
  • Margaret: Surprise bitch
  • Mordecai: THE FUCK
  • Margaret: I bet you thought you'd seen the last of me
  • CJ: Hey Morde-
  • Mordecai: Shut the fuck up
  • CJ: What?
  • Margaret: Hey CJ!
  • CJ: Hi, I'm Mordo's bitch now
  • Margaret: WAT
  • Mordecai: I, ummmm
  • Margaret: No, it's cool! You need to be happy!
  • Mordecai: thx
  • *hug*
  • Mordecai: I AIN'T LETTIN GO OF YOU
  • Margaret: ME EITHER
  • *makes out*
  • Mordecai: well shit
  • Margaret: oh...
  • *runs out crying*
  • Mordecai: NO PLZ FORGIVE ME
  • Eileen: Dis bitch is now my roommate. fuck you.
  • Margaret: you done fucked up Mordecai
  • Mordecai: ...
  • Mordecai: i fucked up. fuck
  • *the next day*
  • Mordecai: what up cj
  • CJ: why the did you invite me to this shithole of a coffee shop
  • Mordecai: idk what happened
  • CJ: Bitch plz
  • Mordecai: Here's a bunch of butt-shaped gifts
  • CJ: who the fuck is this bitch
  • Mordecai: The bitch I kissed
  • *more sad music*
  • Mordecai: fuck you margaret... fuck you...
  • Mordecai: shut up and help me cj fuckin hates my guts
  • Sad Sax Guy: Get the bitch you kissed here
  • Mordecai: Fine
  • *at the park*
  • Mordecai: Wut up bitch
  • Margaret: I don't want to get involved even though I should have stopped you from kissing me but I went along with it anyway, so fuck you.
  • Mordecai: You're a good friend
  • *hugs*
  • Mordecai: goddammit...
  • Sad Sax Guy: Lol just put up a bunch of cheap-ass performances fo her
  • Mordecai: thanks lmao
  • CJ: is this a fuckin joke
  • Mordecai: Yo up Cee- *gets hit by bus*
  • Mordecai: Yeah, thing is.... are you?
  • CJ: Feelin' great *slaps him on head with board* bye asshole
  • Rigby: Are you insane?!
  • Mordecai: lol wut
  • Mordecai: Ugh.
  • Sad Sax Guy: Go to your older bitch's house
  • Mordecai: You mean my mom's?
  • Sad Sax Guy: ...
  • *goes to mom's house*
  • Mordecai's Mom: You done fucked up Mordecai
  • Mordecai: I KNOW. HELP ME.
  • Mordecai's Mom: Sway her in.
  • Mordecai: Fine.
  • *goes outside*
  • Mordecai: Rigby, tell dis bitch to look outside
  • Rigby: Look outside
  • CJ: Awwwwwww...
  • *at hospital*
  • CJ: Why the fuck did you kiss that bitch
  • CJ: Fine.
  • *makes out*
  • Sad Sax Guy: Happy holidays, asshole.
  • *a month later*
  • CJ, Mordecai, and Rigby: sure
  • CJ: no
  • Eileen: wat
  • CJ: NO.
  • Eileen: Oh. Right.
  • *in the car*
  • CJ: you had to kiss dat bitch didnt u mordecai
  • *drama with spa shit happens*
  • CJ: Goddammit.
  • *calls Margaret*
  • *a bunch of shit goes down*
  • CJ: I called her u know...
  • *group hug with margaret*
  • CJ: bitch what the fuck do u think you're doing
  • Margaret: #awkward
  • Eileen: SHUT UP AND HUG ME
  • CJ: i came to have a good time and im honestly feeling so attacked right now
  • *a month later*
  • CJ: lol no i'd rather pick up garbage than do that
  • Rigby: Oh right, because-
  • Mordecai: Shut the fuck up Rigby. Look, I'll get u some of dat cake cause u a bae.
  • Mordecai: *sees Margaret*
  • Mordecai: NOPE *runs into bathroom*
  • Rigby: dude... what the fuck...
  • Rigby: bruh...
  • Mordecai: Fine...
  • Mordecai: shit
  • *goes onto helicopter*
  • Margaret: How's the park? :)
  • Margaret: stahp acting weird oh my god...
  • CJ: lol so some bitch got burned by a river and... what the fuck is my bitch doing with that bitch...
  • Mordecai: oh no. don't.
  • CJ: LIAR
  • *almost kills Margaret's parents*
  • Margaret's parents: well fuck u wanna do a mannonball into the pool
  • *lands*
  • CJ: RAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWR *knocks Margaret off helicopter*
  • Mordecai: lol wut
  • Margaret's dad: lol wut
  • CJ: lol wut
  • Margaret's Boyfriend: lol hi guyz wut up
  • Mordecai: thank god *lands helicopter*
  • CJ: *cries*
  • Mordecai: yo bitch i got u cake
  • CJ: you might as well take that cake and shove it up my ass mordecai
  • Mordecai: lol ok
  • Mordecai: oh
  • Margaret: will u please stop referring to me as "bitch"
  • Mordecai: yeah u did that....
  • *CJ runs off as "You Give Love a Bad Name" by Bon Jovi plays in the background*
  • *a few months later*
  • Margaret: zzzzzzzzz HOLY FUCK oh my god *shoves head on couch* EILEEN GET YOUR MOLE ASS IN HERE
  • Eileen: oh god not this shit again
  • Margaret: I don't actually have a bae! I made the whole thing up so CJ wouldn't kick my ass! WHAT DO I DO
  • Eileen: Tell the truth?
  • Margaret: bitch pls
  • *knocking on door*
  • Eileen: you know that bitch that almost killed your parents? well, she's here
  • Margaret: OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE *opens the door*
  • CJ: Hey, Margaret! :3
  • Margaret: Hey, uh, CJ...
  • CJ: Look I'm sorry for pretty much the whole time that I've known you with killing your parents, destruction and all that other shit, but can we get to know each other a little bit? You can bring your bae if you want!
  • Margaret: KEWL
  • CJ: Awesome! *leaves*
  • Eileen: Get Del here
  • Del: lol sure
  • Rigby: k
  • Del: *literally fucks everything up*
  • CJ: he cool
  • Margaret: ikr
  • Del: how you guys doing (ohhhhh dis is da best ass ive felt all my life)
  • Margaret: good I guess (get your fucking meat sticks off my ass)
  • Del: i know
  • Margaret: RIGBY DEL IS-
  • Rigby: fuck u bitch *hangs up*
  • Mordecai: i like del. hes pretty cool
  • Margaret: lol yeah
  • Mordecai: :>
  • Margaret: (oh my god mordecai's adorable as shit) DEL IS NOT ACTUALLY-
  • Margaret: oh god i have to kiss this ass pincher
  • Del: come on gimme a kiss
  • Audience: shit
  • CJ: im sorry what the fuck did you just say
  • CJ: lol that's fine except you fuckin lied to me u bitch.
  • Margaret: i know...
  • Mordecai: oh fuck no
  • CJ: fuck u bitch
  • *storms out*
  • Margaret: Morde-
  • Margaret: fuck
  • Anontisemite: Whether or not you're willing to admit it, whether or not you even realize it, you are oppressed. I mean look at the ridiculous dress code, being forced to cover everything from toes to hair, just put on some pants already and don't wear long sleeves when it's too hot, it's not healthy! Being forced to be a housewife and bear children, you're living like it's 1950. You are supporting patriarchy and holding back feminism by adhering to a patriarchal religion.
  • Gentileproblems: I’m being oppressed by dressing how I want you guuuyyyzzzzz…. :( I don’t know how I stand it.
  • Also, literally nobody is making me get married? I’ll get married and have children because that’s what I want out of life, but those aren’t the only things I want, for crying down the sink! My ambitions won’t end the moment I get engaged, because I’m an actual human being, not a weird cause for you to champion without my say-so. Get lost, I’m not interested.
  • Anontisemite: Look honey, it's not your fault that you don't recognize your own oppression but you and other women like you need help. Religion is merely a farce created by men to control women. The feminist cause wants to help you, that's what we're here for. Of course you think you're husband will let you chase your ambitions once your married but that's not how religious marriage works. You'll be nothing but a trussed slave and that's a tragedy.
  • Gentileproblems: Can someone please tell Jacob he is oppressing me he still hasn’t messaged me back and I’m thinking this is to do with our horrible patriarchal religion.
  • Arothejew: Jacob! Young man, what do you have to say for yourself
  • Jacob-the-pianist: I'm sorry I'm male, I'm sorry I'm white, I'm sorry I'm male, I'm sorry I'm white
  • Anontisemite: Oh you poor girl. I hope one day you'll realizing how vile and silly the Jewish religion is because you need help. You could have such a full, happy life but instead you've confined yourself to misery and you don't even know it.
  • Gentileproblems: 1/10 trolling try harder next time
  • Anontisemite: I assure you I am not trolling, I want to help you and women like you. I have no problems with Jews but I do have a problem with Judaism and organized religions that inherently oppress women.
  • Gentileproblems: Kay sure… how about you help by listening to us, rather than fighting for us? I’m not feeling particularly oppressed, here. Are you?
  • Gentileproblems (general): did anon seriously think sending me anonymous messages telling me my entire culture was Wrong would make me want to convert? Oh, goyim…
  • Satirenon 1: breaking news an anti semitic anon has caused jews everywhere to decide to be atheists OH NO IT'S HAPPENING TO MEEE *all memory of anything relating to judaism in my life is suddenly gone and i am now a free un oppressed woman*
  • Gentileproblems: oh, teach me your ways, un-oppressed one! is there hope for one such as me, comfortable in her religion and proud of her people? or will i have to moulder in the cave of deluded yidden… only time will tell.
  • Anontisemite: Oh honey, I don't want you to convert. I want you to be a secular, free independent woman who doesn't rely on a misogynistic culture of lies and rules designed to keep you oppressed. Surely deep down you realize organized religion is a farce created by men? It's so obvious. If you weren't tied to a backwards culture that didn't allow women education you'd be able to comprehend better. I'm so sorry, please learn to accept help when it's extended. That is what feminism is here for.
  • Gentileproblems: white feminism has reached its zenith
  • Anontisemite: I am not certainly not antisemitic, I do not hate Jews, I want to help their women. What I hate Judaism, Islam and any organized religion. They are forms of misogynistic, systematic oppression.
  • Gentileproblems: 'I'm not raaaaaacist, I just hate these two heavily racialised religions…'
  • Anontisemite: though i too was once proud of my religion and my people i have seen the light and become a truely liberated woman 100% of anti semitic feminists agree that it is the right course of action so let go of the misogynistic tethers of religion and truely free yourself from your harmful self oppression like i did
  • Gentileproblems: assimilate and let go of your culture i a random anon know far more about it than you do
  • Gentileproblems: at the third stage, you ascend to a higher plane of existence, like on the original Stargate show.
  • Commentanon 1: i hate judaism but im teeeechiiincally not anti semitic right? -actual quote from the anon
  • Gentileproblems: i know, like how do you even rationalise that what even
  • Anontisemite: I am not antisemitic, I am antireligion. All I want is to end the systematic oppression of women inherent to Judaism and Islam. It is my life's mission and one day I hope to save all of the women like you, women who trapped and hurting and don't even know it.
  • Gentileproblems: Did you know Judaism and Islam are the only perpetrators of misogyny ever? GREYFACE TELLS ALL!
  • Commentanon 2: oh g-d of course anon doesnt include christianity just islam and judaism yet somehow aren't anti semitic or islamaphobic right? anti religion yet only against the two religions with the most hate and violence directed towards them? totally just looking out for women right?
  • Gentileproblems: i know, right? noooo bias there, no siree….
  • Anontisemite: You can still be a Jew, you can eat bagels and gettlefish and all of that, but you should be able to wear regular clothes without having rocks thrown at you, have intercourse without needing to do it through a cloth with a hole, not be forced to live separately from other people once a month. It's barbaric. Help me help you. Help me help women like you. This is going to be my career, rescuing the downtrodden women of archaic religious cults.
  • Gentileproblems: Okay, this is actually genuinely offensive. Where on Earth did you learn about Judaism, Stormfront? For G-d’s sake, choose another career at the very least- nobody will want to be rescued by you.
  • Commentanon 3: These anons today are even more ludicrous than last week's neo-nazis. Seriously talk about being so "open-minded" that your brains fall out and your mind closes again behind them.
  • Gentileproblems: Tell me about it, I have a permanent look of disgust etched onto my face by now.
  • Commentanon 4: Don't let them bother you. That one is literally a xtian-atheist religious missionary. Just treat them like you would any other xtian missionary.
  • Gentileproblems: 'Nope, I don't want your holy book… I've already got one…. it's vintage…'
  • Commentanon 5: wtf anon and ur stiiiiill not anti semitic? i'm waiting for what exactly anons definition of anti semitism is or does it even exist since how can you oppress someone who wants to oppressed or whatever they are trying to say jewish women are doing
  • Gentileproblems: it’s a horrible, horrible journey of ‘not antisemitic i swear’ and i can’t get off
  • Satirenon 2: I want to be offended but all I can focus on now is gettlefish. Seriously. GETTLEFISH
  • Gentileproblems: It’s like kettle crisps mixed with gefilte fish, I assume.
  • Commentanon 6: anon is just jealous of the way i work this super cute skirt with my bright colorful tights and that my marriage will be more emotionally fulfilling because it's not about sex all the time (it's also been proven that because a husband and wife can't have each other sexually all the time they appreciate it more when they do)
  • Gentileproblems: Oh my gosh, talk frum fashion to me! And I’ve never heard of that second point- I shall Google at once!
  • Commentanon 7: is gettlefish like non kosher gefilte fish?
  • Gentileproblems: I think this is one of those things that ‘everyone knows’ about Jews except for Jews
  • Commentanon 7: oh like hanukkah trees? (always spelled that way because fuck the original hebrew spellings lets at 2 k's for the hell of it because goyim)
  • Gentileproblems: yep, that’s totally A Thing, because judaism is christianity in a funny hat.
  • Anontisemite: I don't know what Stormfront, I'm a New Age nondenominational culturally Christian atheist Buddhist. As I've already explained to you I am not antisemitic or islamaphobic, I am anti-Judaism and anti-Islam. Goodness, I wish you were allowed an education where they teach you these things. I don't have a problem with the secular women and I want to help the poor souls who are 'religious' (rapped). It's the men I take issue with, for forcing girls with potential into little more than slaves.
  • Gentileproblems: Rapped? Did Tupac put you up to this or something? And good grief, that first sentence is the most white-goy line I have ever read.
  • Satirenon 3: help i think i actually got second hand white goy from that first sentence im dying
  • Gentileproblems: do you have a weird urge to get a backwards hebrew tattoo? we’ll find a cure, i swear
  • Satirenon 4: Before your anon I was living my life as a poor, oppressed woman, trapped by the men in my life forcing me to observe archaic rules. This, despite the fact I am a baalat teshuva who was inspired by women and doesn't actually have any men in my life. Not married and absent non-Jewish dad, but they're both oppressing me quite a lot. Thanks to the anon I've realized I can again be free. I will give up my meaningful and beautiful culture that I love. I shall eat gettlefish and run wild.
  • Gentileproblems: The sarky responses to my anons are the actual best thing. And seriously, someone needs to come up with a recipe for gettlefish, pronto.
  • Satirenon 5: for gettlefish you should first go to your local store and pick up a few things, gefilte fish, matzo ball mix, latke mix, bagels, lox, chopped liver and cream cheese (just to make sure it isn't kosher). Now go home, and get out a very large mixing bowl and put all of the ingredients into it and mix thoroughly. Place in a large casserole dish and bake until crispy and then eat because it is the single most jewish food in the world according to goyim, add some bacon if you really want to
  • Gentileproblems: That’s so disgusting I dare someone to make it
  • Satirenon 5: make it and send to the anon
  • Gentileproblems: Where do I send it? The Castle of Denial?
  • Commentanon 8: I literally can't stop laughing. They probably mean to write trapped but I prefer to think they put 'rapped' in parentheses because they want everything in that sentence to be rapped out loud as you read. Break it down now, rap about helping the poor souls.
  • Gentileproblems: lay me some tasty beats, jumblr. “I don’t like your people but I’m not racist, I swear…”
  • Satirenon 6: I think your anon is magic. I was a happily oppressed religious women but then I read everything she wrote and
  • suddenly the world is new, suddenly I am new. My curly hair became straight! My skirt disappeared and was replaced by skinny jeans! I don't know if I can handle all of this freedom yet though, not without a man to guide me. Change me back, oh powerful saviour anon! I'm not ready!
  • Gentileproblems: Please, we need you to be our white saviour! Oh, whatever shall we do?
  • Commentanon 9: What the actual fuck is a "New Age nondenominational culturally Christian atheist Buddhist"? Is that a thing?
  • Gentileproblems: Apparently so… oy.
  • Satirenon 7: HELP! I chose to practice modesty by covering my hair on holy days and I think I've oppressed myself! Already men are making me little more than a slave although I have an education and so much potential. Damn my religious choices!
  • Gentileproblems: Gosh darn it straight to heck! Deciding for yourself how you want to be seen, how dare you! That’s for the New Age Christian Buddhist whateveritwas to do!
  • Anontisemite: I'm sorry to see that you and your friends have resorted to making fun of good intentions. You may not think you need my help but me and other feminists will continue fighting for you nonetheless. I promise that one day we will create a world where you can be free from the bonds of oppressive misogynist religious law and archaic cultural traditions. You are only using negativity to lash out because you fear change, as your religion has taught you. But change is good and it will free you.
  • Gentileproblems: ngl i laughed
  • Commentanon 10: I feel like calling you honey just makes the whole thing so patronizing like stop listening to that religion that tells you what to do, I'm going to tell you what to do instead.
  • Gentileproblems: i knooow! like they don’t even know me! it’s gross as heck frankly- but i’m glad my followers are finding it funny.
  • Satirenon 8: help though im a lesbian my religion is compelling me to marry a man and become his subservient wife saaavee meeeeee
  • Gentileproblems: Must…. resist….. anon’s interpretation…. of my religion!
  • Satirenon 9: Oh..oh my goodness, my magen david necklace was sooo tight and it was choking me but that anon magically broke it and now i can breathe thank g-d or wait am i not supposed to do that anymore
  • Gentileproblems: Thank Richard Dawkins, probably.
  • Satirenon 10: anon nooo even though my religion teaches to question our laws and to change with the times it is suddenly morphing into everything you say it iiisss
  • Gentileproblems: Anon is, in fact, Haruhi Suzumiya
  • Anontisemite: Laughing is only a defense mechanism but one day you will be grateful for our movement :). There is an ever growling movement of feminist women against organized religion like yours whose mission is to save women like you. We are very well educated about Judaism and your culture and we will help you to adjust to the modern world. Misogyny and systematic oppression of women through forced dress codes and throwing rocks won't happen to you, no one will hurt you. You don't have to fear change.
  • Gentileproblems: Seriously, who keeps spreading the idea that religious women can’t be feminists? This is frankly depressing, and why we need to educate goyim to free them from their horrible, misogynistic, blinkered ideologies :(
  • Commentanon 11: It's hard to be convincing when they're sending asks on Anon. Like that's the least personal thing you could do.
  • Gentileproblems: I know, eh? When it started, I was actually pretty sure they were that ‘women don’t need feminism’ blog from a couple of hours ago, but now I’m not so sure…
  • Satirenon 11: white feminist goy barbie, she talks! you pull her string and she spouts nonsense!! (idk if anon is actually a she but like you get my point)
  • Gentileproblems: I kind of hope so, actually, because think of how much more creepy and paternalistic it would be if anon was male.
  • Commentanon 12: As opposed to cultural Christian atheist Buddhism, which is entirely disorganized.
  • Gentileproblems: *sniggering* Anyway, correct me if I’m wrong but isn’t the Dalai Lama very much against converts to Buddhism?
  • Satirenon 12: I somehow seem to have put on a long skirt. Someone please send a secular white "feminist" to help me.
  • Gentileproblems: I keep thinking of that Monty Python skit, you know, with the peasant shouting ‘Help! Help! I’m being oppressed!’
  • Anontisemite: Honey, you're being silly! I already have an education because in out free feminist culture women are allowed to learn. You can do it too! And of course a religious women can't be a feminist, it's the exact opposite of feminist. Religion, especially Judaism and Islam, is the source of all misogyny in the world.
  • Gentileproblems: To be honest there are so many people mocking you in my inbox I thought this was a parody. I am still not quite sure. And.. so do I? Dad’s a university professor, and I got early admission to his uni- had my first class yesterday, actually- where I’m reading Sociology and History. Also, pretty sure a good definition of feminism is that women can do as they please, whatever that means to them.
  • Satirenon 13: It's all a lie! You've been taught lies your entire life! White goyishé feminists know more than you do about the tradition you were raised in again and again for the past 3326 years. Definitely.
  • Gentileproblems: No, what are you talking about, they skim-read a Rationalwiki article once! They’re totally qualified to tell me how to live my life!
  • Satirenon 14: I'm wearing a kippah and a mini skirt at the same time. I'm only have oppressed on my mothers side.
  • Gentileproblems: :D but oppression is passed down through the mother, donchaknow
  • Satirenon 11: yeah for all you know anon is a really creepy guy looking to harass jewish feminists and give feminists a bad name
  • Gentileproblems: yeah p much
  • Commentanon 13: thats religious misogyny at work, the only true feminist religion is spiritual christian influenced combined with a bastardized eastern """"spiritual"""" religion entirely divorced from from it's actual source and rules and replaced with new ageyness and a hint of racism :)
  • Gentileproblems: 'Hey, mum and dad! I'm rebelling against you by converting to a watered-down version of a religion I barely understand!'
  • Satirenon 15: *sighs* Now I have to go tell the three female Rabbis I know personally that none of them should have received an education, because a got on the intertextuality knows Judaism better than us
  • Gentileproblems: It’s such a drag being oppressed like this, no?
  • Commentanon 14: Wtf the fuck is "free feminist culture"? I'm laughing so hard. Also kinda offended that anon is equating education with knowledge. Like a lot of people can't afford college or have learning disabilities but they're their own people, fuck off.
  • Gentileproblems: anon is patronising as heck- go ask them, I don’t know.
  • Anontisemite: Yes, I see you and the many people mocking me on your blog but I really don't mind because I know that you don't know better. I'm not a man or looking to undermine feminism - why would you even think that? You're a bit paranoid aren't you? Feminism is about female freedom and my life is dedicated to helping women achieve that. Judaism inherently undermines female freedom and that is want to eradicate it and rescue women from it. It's not antisemitism.
  • Gentileproblems: Alongside Jews, there are atheists, Muslims, and Christians mocking you. Quit while you’re… well, I can’t actually say ‘ahead’, really.
  • Anontisemite: I don't mind the mockery. I have my cause my cause is you and your fellow oppressed females or Judaism. It doesn't matter if you think you don't need it, a feminist fights for the freedom of all women no matter what. You haven't been taught this but you are woman who has value. You deserve a life without men who shame you for existing and think you have no worth except that which comes forth from your womb.
  • Gentileproblems: but… you are the only one saying this… can you save me from *you*, please?
  • Satirenon 16: for $8000 a month i will stop oppressing myself anon
  • Gentileproblems: yes please anon pay my uni fees
  • Satirenon 17: I am a Jewish feminist am I causing global warming
  • Gentileproblems: I want to make a joke about Moses and rising sea levels here….
  • Anontisemite: Oh honey, let feminism help you be truly free from the bonds of patriarchal religion.
  • Gentileproblems: we’ve been around a few thousand years, your patronising wheedling isn’t gonna stop that.
  • Commentanon 15: In all seriousness, what I find most fascinating about the anon is that for someone who claims to want to free me from those telling me what to do etc., she/he is telling me exactly what to do! For someone who claims to want everyone to be free, she/he is not allowing me the freedom to do what I want. In other words, hypocrites will be hypocrites.
  • Gentileproblems: Goyim gonna goy
  • Commentanon 16: Anon does know that Judaism is a matriarchal religion, correct? That women are revered and are incredibly valued by Jewish society?
  • Gentileproblems: what are you talking about religion is BAD forever
  • Commentanon 17: For all who are trying to say that she is not free while being Jewish is the worst thing you could say. Being free means she can choose what religion she follows. Also the Jewish faith is not oppressive I actually know a female cantor/rabbi who is amazing at what she does. You are being oppressive by telling her she can't be what she wants and saying that you are not being racist even though all your support is stereotypes and from the 1900's get with the time! Take this as a warning
  • Gentileproblems: Thanks so much, anon! I mean I’m opinionated as all heck, if I didn’t think i was being respected I’d leave, believe me.
Oh, the Places You'll Go – Chapter 3

a/n: oh my god this hasn’t been updated in almost two months how did i let that happen that’s such a disgustingly long amount of time. i wouldn’t be surprised if everyone has forgotten about it lmao but im gonna try to get back on track with this bc it literally went on an unintentional hiatus wow

summary: Dan Howell, an awkwardly pessimistic teenager with a passion for nothing, has always lived in his famous brother’s shadow—not wanting any attention or fuss. But when his family hires his brother a new agent, Phil Lester, will he help Dan to change his views on fame…and maybe himself, too?


“Well. Don’t you look like shit.”

The familiarly sarcastic voice of my best friend, Mini, causes my head to snap up from my phone, and I glare at him as I turn into the bus stop. I hadn’t previously been paying attention to my surroundings because I was pretty sure that I was half asleep and running on autopilot on account of the fact that I hadn’t had any sleep last night, so I’m amazed that I actually managed to make it to the bus stop instead of wandering off into the next town. Although, judging by the minutely small size of the village I live in, that wouldn’t be too hard to do without noticing.

Sighing, I sink into the metal bench at the bus stop. But, like always, the task is quite difficult because Mini takes up the majority of the already-small bench, leaving me perching on the end with a strong possibility of falling off. Honestly, I might as well sit on the ground when Mini’s around; it would be easier for both my comfort and my health. And again, like always, Mini notices the inconvenience I’m battling with, and says his usual, “Sorry, Dan! I’ll move up a bit!” as if he’s actually surprised that I’m having difficulty with staying on the bench. And what he really means by ‘moving up a bit’, is that he’ll attempt to shift his mammoth-sized mass a few millimetres away from me, only for the force of gravity to inevitably cause his weight to spill back and push me off the bench again.

And when the inevitable does happen, I stand up again and smile at him, shaking my head.

“I’ll stand,” I say politely. “Thanks, though.”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

So, i'm taehyung biased and i know you're vkook biased, but as passionate I see you, im sure you'll understand me. I hate the idea of taehyung being in a drama. you see, everyone was enjoying the april fool's day beside him; all members were making jokes, changing the profiles and i'm like where's taehyung. i'm vkook shipper too, and i feel that drama appearance will make so hard for me. i don't like dramas, so when i will see my taehyung and vkook? omg, i'm so stressed.

this drama will help his act skills but is not good for his idol life. he’s so distant from the others. even yoongi joined the april fools day and i’m so sad. is not just because the vkook is because of him being apart from the others. what do you think. i hope you answer this, i’ve tried not to mention others things would stress you.(2) 

What i think is that..for start, his role in the group was always meant to be in more places than one. They started with V being the 4D member,then the social apearance became more focused on,like… videos/pics with others, during shows he was interacting with various idols too,got MC part which included stuff like that too,then a short show with another idol..etc ….V was and is a wide social role but with Bangtan being ‘home’ always. Is not something that i specifically like since i’m not multifandom but i’m sure ppl that are multifandom,do appreciate such stuff going on plus it’s a way to “share” attention through different fandoms ..something that many idols do from what i’ve seen here and there.

Now that we have this clear…separate in your mind the idol life with life cause even if he isn’t so active with the others like Jimin is with others for example, that doesn’t mean he is actual distant from Bangtan. By getting a good role in a hopefully successful drama,is actually a good thing for his group and especially for himself! For his idol life it’s a good thing entering the acting world cause he will gain attention,show different sides of him and perhaps a second long term career option which is good for his life too plus it’s something he loves to do and he is good at it! You mentioned that you don’t like dramas but we shouldn’t forget that Taehyung is from Korea,and the idol life there doesn’t last for a lifetime. You will see all the members trying different paths on the side of their life as idols!

The filming started since yesterday…and i don’t know how big his role is,how much filming will do but acting is something Taehyung always loved to do and he is good at it! I’m confident that he can pull off different vibes to different roles..I’m sure of it!! And seeing him taking such a challenge for a first time but with great actors plus idols who can help him too,i’m very very very happy for him and you should be too cause even if he might get some hard comments from ppl that side eyes idols turning to actors,Taehyung will prove those ppl wrong!!He is good in acting!!Have zero doubt about that!!Taehyung is expressive too and he was after all practising with Jungkook for years different skits and romance stuff too plus the MV’s experiences etc!!What is left is if he will get used to fast the way to use his voice to express different feelings and during different moments but he’ll get it through i’m sure!Believe in him <3

But where does that leave us that got used to the BTSxBTS life?! Where does that leave us as VKook stans or/and shippers?!

As an army,i believe Bangtan have proven their point as 7 and have a long way to go even if members will do individual activities time to time. I will wish them luck to what they’ll do and in time will get used to the new scedules that will apear and hopefully everything will go well and will return as 7 even stronger and more knowledgeable than before! 

As a VKook stan,i want to slap bighit for years now..nothing new there!;p If my shipping heart is thirsty like a river flowing,my VKook stan heart is like an ocean on another planet that keeps on raining!!! What did i/we ask ppl?!!Just a duet!!Was it too much?! What did i ask?!A proper photoshoot after 2857 other photoshoots since the last time..Was it too much?! What did i ask?! Stop cutting the videos on the best parts!Was it too much again?!!!!UGH But yeah bring it on!!! Been there..done that!! I ain’t going to change my top bias list no matter what you’ll do,bighitttttt!!! So yeah…times like ->this<- i extra appreciate them and thankful that at least Bangtan themselves give some spotlight to my humble young precious boys!!

As shippers,we shouldn’t forget that VKook were never part of the ‘idol life’..VKook were part of the ‘life’ so it’s given to wonder,how we’ll see them when they won’t be doing the same thing in the same place and can’t depend on their posts or bighit sources?! ..How i deal with such times is by “putting” my bias heart above my shipping heart while taking glances from previous times when i miss them as in together. I can’t settle with other pairs to kill some time while waiting for them, so the “ball” is either thrown between VKook or is to them! But each person is i deal with it doesn’t mean it would work for you but i just want to say to you to always listen to your heart. We also have our lifes to deal with after all.. If it becomes too much,get a glass of wine (red;p) ,send them an angst song and tell them that you hope the next time you’ll have a drink in their name,it will be cause you’re not thirsty but full!!♥xD 

Mordecai's Love Life (Simplified) [REVISED]
  • Mordecai: *sees Margaret*
  • Rigby: Go ask her out! She seems nice...
  • Mordecai: lol wut
  • Rigby: Go ask lady pecs out
  • Mordecai: You kiddin me, I ain't doin that shit
  • *five episodes later*
  • Mordecai: Alright, imma do it. I'm gonna do it
  • Margaret: Hey dude wassup?
  • Mordecai: Do you wanna... fuck.
  • Margaret: WHAT?!
  • Mordecai: Nevermind NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE *runs back to Rigby*
  • Rigby: Dude!
  • Mordecai: I tried man, I really did try
  • *he eventually makes up with Margaret and hangs around with her for four seasons not getting anywhere*
  • Mordecai: I'm gonna kiss that hot piece of shit
  • Rigby: Oh lord...
  • Mordecai: it'll be easy!
  • Mordecai: wtf
  • Mordecai: Ughhhhhhhhhhh
  • Margaret: What's this shit I'm hearing about a bet?
  • Mordecai: No.
  • Margaret: FUCK YOU MORDECAI. FUCK YOU. *runs off*
  • Mordecai: Noooooooooooooooo!!!!
  • Margaret: Oh you want me to save your sorry little ass from freezing to death? Tell me how you REALLY feel about me.
  • Margaret: *nearly kisses him*
  • Margaret: Fuck you you piece of shit
  • *a few episodes later*
  • Eileen: HORY SHIT GUYS A FUCKIN METEOR SHOWER IS GONNA HIT THIS TOWN WITH A BANG *inside her head* hello Rigby you rabie-filled hottie.
  • Mordecai: Cool! I'll be there.
  • *meteor shower hits*
  • Mordecai: Uhhhhhhhhhhh
  • Rigby: DO IT.
  • Mordecai: Stahp im emotionally unstable
  • Old potato guy: Bruh
  • Mordecai: Ughhhhh. Yo Margaret you wanna kiss?
  • *makes out*
  • Margaret: That was a great meteor shower (what the fuck just happened)
  • *dates for awhile*
  • Mordecai: Yo Margaret
  • Margaret: Goin' to college! Fuck you.
  • *loud emotional crying from Mordecai*
  • CJ: Hey Mordecai, I'm a cool ass cloud that puts up with zero shit, have all the same interests as you, and I kill people. You wanna date?
  • Mordecai: gee, I don't know, you're pretty cool, but-
  • Rigby: DO NOT.
  • Mordecai: Fine.
  • CJ: sick
  • *hangs out for awhile*
  • Mordecai and CJ: wut
  • Eileen: DO IT.
  • Mordecai: Fine, u down fo dis CJ?
  • CJ: sure
  • *date than ends with drama and Mordecai and CJ becoming canon*
  • Mordecai: I luv this cloud
  • Rigby: STAHP
  • Mordecai: What?!
  • Mordecai: ... bruh
  • *a few months later*
  • Margaret: Surprise bitch
  • Mordecai: THE FUCK
  • Margaret: I bet you thought you'd seen the last of me
  • CJ: Hey Morde-
  • Mordecai: Shut the fuck up
  • CJ: What?
  • Margaret: Hey CJ!
  • CJ: Hi, I'm Mordo's bitch now
  • Margaret: WAT
  • Mordecai: I, ummmm
  • Margaret: No, it's cool! You need to be happy!
  • Mordecai: thx
  • *hug*
  • Mordecai: I AIN'T LETTIN GO OF YOU
  • Margaret: ME EITHER
  • *makes out*
  • Mordecai: well shit
  • Margaret: oh...
  • *runs out crying*
  • Mordecai: NO PLZ FORGIVE ME
  • Eileen: Dis bitch is now my roommate. fuck you.
  • Margaret: you done fucked up Mordecai
  • Mordecai: ...
  • Yes everything ends, and everything stops
  • Even you, even I
  • Even paper and clock
  • Notebook: Everything ends, but not just yet
  • Notebook: We've both done something we regret
  • Notebook: But I'll heal your wounds, and you'll heal mine
  • Notebook: With a creative flare and double time.
  • Tony: And we'll dance so fast like a merry go round
  • Notebook: Twirling so fast like a merry go round
  • Tony: We'll dance until our feet turn blue
  • Notebook: Isn't your face already that hue?
  • Tony: We'll dance with the beat of our hearts in our feet
  • Notebook: And the ink on the page
  • Tony: And the tick of the clock
  • Notebook:
  • Notebook: That last one didn't rhyme, are you sure you're ok?
  • Tony: Of course I'm ok, there's no time to delay
  • Tony: Hey look at the walls, oh look how they sway
  • Tony: It seems that our dancing has led us astray
  • Notebook: Look at the colors swirling about
  • Tony: Look at the lines you can barely make out
  • Notebook: Look at the chaos, isn't it pretty?
  • Tony: Your face is pretty
  • Notebook: You're very witty
  • Tony: With colors and lines and nothing and death and life and
  • Notebook: Mr. Tony, something seems wrong with your timing
  • Notebook: In fact, you don't even seem to be rhyming.
  • Tony: Of course I'm not rhyming, can't you see? This infinite place our dancing has taken us has no time and no meaning, and I am a clock. I keep marching on, but there is no time. My rhyme and my rhythm sputter and die.
  • Notebook: Then I'll do the rhyming, for you and for I
  • Notebook: I'll keep the rhythm, I'll be the supply.
  • Notebook: Don't let this bring you down, it's elevative. Can't you see now that you're even more creative.
  • Tony: It sets me apart, that much is true, and you like that.
  • Notebook: Oh yes, I do. But are you sure you don't want to go back?
  • Tony: Frankly, I'm tired of the world we've been living in. So my dear, let us dance-
  • Notebook: -Right into oblivion.
Faceless Neighbor

For @trueromantic1 thank you so much for the prompt bb ♥ 

Neighbors AU prompt : I work from home and haven’t left in awhile, so you think I’m dead inside (with Emma being the one who works from home and Killian hasn’t seen her) ~800 words

“Emma Swan.”

The new label on the letterbox next to his is the most classical piece of paper : no personal handwriting, typed words on a white blank space instead.

“Emma Swan.” he repeats, lets the name curl on his lips, barely a whisper.

Sounds a lot like a challenge to his ears.

He discerns a flash of blond hair one morning as he goes to university.

One flash of gold and she’s gone, a black jogging hugging her sculpted legs, blue earbuds surrounding a face he doesn’t know.

She leaves a trail of cinnamon, vanilla and apple behind her, and he inhales deeply, far more intrigued by his silent neighbor than he would admit it.

He always misses her, whether it be on a weekend where he catches a glimpse of her figure in a yellow bug on the parking lot, whether it be in the middle of the day, McDonald’s famous scent following her and spreading itself in his flat.

When he passes in front of her window on foggy morning, not really awake at all, he’s unable to make out anything inside, a feeling of disappointment following him during the day.

When he still doesn’t see any light in her flat at 10pm, returning from a bar, stars in the night sky as his only companions, the slightest of concern begins to birth in him.

He ignores it at first.

When he hasn’t heard her leave her flat for a week, he thinks it’s only normal for him to check on her.

It’s a sunny sunday, it’s 10am, and he’s in his “rest” clothes.

Gathering all of his bravery, he inhales deeply, naked feet playing with the parketting of bad taste, and he knocks on her door.

“Miss Swan ?” he calls her, his embarrassment palpable.

Keep reading

John stands in front of Sherlock’s grave on a cold January morning, brushing the powdery snow from the top of the headstone. The snow swirls and drifts around him, falling gently from the yawning winter sky. It would be peaceful if it weren’t so melancholy- beautiful even- but the cemetery is empty, blanketed in white and eerily silent. The sight is dismal at best.

It’s January 6; the birthdate of Sherlock Holmes. It’s Sherlock’s birthday and here he is, here they are, but John still can’t believe it. More often than not he fights himself, weaving in and out of denial, back and forth and back again. He wants, he desperately wants to hope- but he’s not quite that naïve. John Watson is a logical, sensible man. A realist. He should know better, shouldn’t he?

He exhales unsteadily, his breath a warm cloud, thick and grey- like cigarette smoke. John’s eyes are fixed on the withered flowers leaning against the polished stone, rigid with ice. He thinks to himself how inadequate this is- as a gravesite, as a place to remember him by. It’s nowhere near large enough to honor who Sherlock was; to encompass even the physical body of such a being.

He shouldn’t be in a coffin buried deep in the earth, John thinks. He’s not just another body in a box six feet under. He doesn’t belong in the dirt- he should have- he deserves a mausoleum; a towering monument, a grand tomb; a bloody pyramid. Sherlock wasn’t a king, a god; a great leader or a messiah, not in his own right- but he was John’s. To John, he was everything- he would never be just a man.

There’s a new bouquet of flowers in his right hand and a letter in his left, trembling even as he struggles to stifle it. John swallows; takes a deep breath, and begins to read. The paper is blowing this way and that in the biting wind, gripped tight in his hand that’s shaking like a leaf:

“Happy Birthday, Sherlock. I wish you were here to spend it with me- us.”

He clears his throat and brings his feet together, straightening his posture, chin up even as his voice falters.

"…I wouldn’t have made you go out, you know. Or hang around anyone you didn’t feel like seeing. It wouldn’t have been much fun anyway, not with you being, well…you, given your lack of concern for the general public.” John bites back a small laugh, but it’s short-lived.

"We could’ve done anything you wanted; been wherever you wanted to be. I um…I know you had a hard time unwinding- that’s okay. I get that way too.” Like right now, he thinks.

“But it would have been just you and me, if you wanted it. I wouldn’t nag you about your messy experiments or body parts in the fridge. Lestrade would have a few cases lined up, hoping to stump you. You’d solve them easily- you always did.”

A chill runs down John’s spine and he shivers, knowing that it isn’t the cold.

“Mrs. Hudson would be there- at the flat. She’d cancel all her plans and make you a cake, even if you told her not to. Maybe even if you begged. She’d probably throw some kind of a shindig to celebrate properly, with drinks and biscuits- I’d have liked that. We would have made it worthwhile just so you wouldn’t forget it in that bloody huge brain of yours, full of your facts and your clever ideas. Would you have kept it in your mind palace? Or would you have deleted it? I think maybe, if we tried very hard, you’d have stored away the memory.”

The letter almost catches in the wind and blows away, but John grabs for it, the paper crinkling in his fist. John curses and grinds his teeth, trying to smooth out the note against his thigh. He already knows the rest, so he lays it in front of the grave instead and places the flowers delicately on top.

He stares solemnly at the gravestone- looks through it, sees his own reflection and the sadness in his eyes. John allows himself to touch the smooth, frigid granite, fingers ghosting along the engraved letters of his best friend’s name. He feels hollow.

“I haven’t seen her in a while- Mrs. Hudson. I think she’s doing okay. I know she misses you.” So do I, he adds- but not out loud.

“I can’t bring myself to go back to the flat yet, but I’m sure it’s just the same. A little emptier. A little quieter. You’d hate it.”

John shakes his head solemnly.
“If you’re listening, Sherlock- if you can hear me, wherever you are, I want you to know something. I believed you. I believed in you. I know you were for real; that nothing you’ve done has ever been just a cheap magic trick. Things are a mess now and I want to fix it; fix this, because I can’t stand what they’re saying about you. I’m sick of the lies. And yes, I know- why should I care what they say about you, right? Because you weren’t a fraud, Sherlock. Because you were my friend, and in your own mad, ridiculous way, you saved me.”

John sniffs, squeezing his left hand hard at his side.

"Anyway, I know the truth will come out. Sooner or later, it has to. I’m sorry I couldn’t…” He can’t bring himself to finish that sentence. He tries another.

“You deserved better- Christ, you deserved to be treated like a bloody martyr- because I know what it means to be a hero, Sherlock. I know what it takes. Afghanistan was full of heroes, but no one like you. There’s only one consulting detective, one Sherlock Holmes. You were the first…and the last, and no one else can ever fill those shoes. You…you were brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. And if I could, I’d do it all again, you sod.”

John hears the muffled crunch of footsteps in the distance, but he doesn’t care. Sherlock is gone, and so he is alone.

. . .

A familiar shadow looms not far from where John is standing. It reaches out with gloved fingers, grasping at nothing but aching to touch, to comfort. A moment passes, and it withdraws.

The figure quietly retreats with the swish of a long, dark coat.

Til Summer Comes Around

Kinda-sorta but not really. A loose interpretation of this prompt, one might say.

Title is from Keith Urban’s “Til Summer Comes Around”. This isn’t so much based on the song as it’s based on one single line: “You had to go I understand”, because I’m about really loose interpretations today, apparently.

I had originally planned for this to be equally written from Grantaire’s POV, but then it got long, so I didn’t. I may, however, follow it up with a companion piece from Grantaire’s POV. We shall see.

Warnings: discussions of drug addiction, rehab, treatment, recovery, and therapy. As always with this kind of fic, anything said about drug addiction/abuse, rehab, recovery, etc., is based solely on my own experiences and should not be taken as universal.

Enjolras collapsed next to Grantaire, breathing heavily, and rolled over to press a soft kiss to Grantaire’s shoulder. “That was…” he started, and Grantaire rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, yeah, amazing, you saw stars when you came, I know.” Despite his mocking words, his smile was fond, and he carded his fingers through Enjolras’s hair. “It was good for me, too, you know.”

Whether from post-orgasm bliss or something else, Enjolras didn’t so much as make a face at Grantaire’s glib statement, instead laying his head against Grantaire’s shoulder. This was not their first time having sex; in fact, in recent weeks it had become a fairly regular thing between the two. And though Enjolras was not one to put labels on things, was not one to even care about such things, they were the closest thing Enjolras had probably ever to a relationship. And he was remarkably ok with that.

As if picking up on Enjolras’s thoughts, Grantaire’s hand stilled, and he said quietly, “I know we haven’t really discussed, you know, this, whatever this is, but–”

“Look, I like you,” Enjolras interrupted, twisting his head to smile up at Grantaire, who seemed taken aback. “I don’t really care what label you want to put on it, if you want to put a label on it at all. That’s up to you. But I like you – have feelings for you – whatever you want to call it. And I want us to be together, if you want to.”

Keep reading

Hogwarts: Currently school of big time magical big bang (percy jackson x kane chronicle x harry potter) Chapter 1

Summer was about to end, and it was the same summer that they kicked Gaia’s earthy butt back down into somewhere I really don’t know about. Probably having some sort of augment with Ouranos. I can imagine. But let’s put that aside. Right now we have another problem at hand.

Anyway, it has been a few weeks since their encounter of the Kanes, Leo’s return and many other interesting things.

‘Percy, Annabeth!’ Piper called the typical love birds as they sat by the Poseidon’s cabin. Both of them looked up to see Piper jogging towards them. ’ Chiron is calling for us, it’s kind of an emergency’

Both of them shared a look and the three of them quickly head towards the big house where a meeting is being held currently.

'I got them’ Piper announced as soon as they stepped through the door. Everyone looked up from the ping pong table and then turned their heads towards Chiron. The people who are currently present at the meeting includes, Leo, Calypso, Piper, Jason, Nico, Will and Rachel. Along with a huge Iris Message featuring Reyna, Frank and Hazel at camp Jupiter. Mr D sat silently with his diet coke reading an Ikea magazine. Since when was he interested in furnitures?

'What’s the trouble Chiron?’ Percy asked as soon as they gathered.

'We have received news from a…… friend’ Chiron announced. Percy felt trouble gripping his chest. He hated it when Chiron says that.

'Is it another Demigod issue?’ Jason asked, but Chiron simply chuckled and shook his head.

'I have received news from an old friend about a group of students that has been targeted in his school.. and he would need some help looking out for them’ Chiron said. Percy suppress the serious urge to groan really loudly, he had been looking forward to going college with Annabeth during the school term here in New York. Now it was about to be ruin by another stupid school trip.

Annabeth seems to have noticed Percy’s displeasure and held his hands. Honestly she is pretty alright with the idea.

'What kind of school?’ Piper asked.

Suddenly a grin spread across Chiron’s face. 'The school is located somewhere off coast of Britain and Scotland.’

'Why are we going to some countryside school?’ Leo asked.

'It’s not just a country side school, it is a school called Hogwarts’ Chiron explained. Now Percy resist the urge to snort at the name.

'Why a school that is associated to Pig Fungus?’ Percy snorted. Sadly he couldn’t resist the urge. Well, really no one could.

'It’s not just an ordinary school Percy.. you’ll see for yourself when you get there’ Chiron smirked. Percy immediately felt something is behind that smirk.

'Chiron shouldn’t we know about the school we’re going?’ Piper asked using her charmspeak. Chiron simply sighed as he place a leaflet on the table. Will toss a Snauge at the Leopard head while Nico toss a golden drachma into the IM which extended for a little while.

'Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry’ Rachel read outloud for everyone to hear. Mr D was really bored as he pulled out another issue of FINE. An American wine magazine.

'You’re kidding right?’ Percy sigh a disbelief as his he raise his right eyebrow. Arms folded over his orange camp half blood shirt.

'Sadly he isn’t’ Reyna spoke from the IM. No growling from her dogs, no lies to be heard.

'Not everyone will be able to go there’ Calypso said as she looked up from the leaflet.

'Yes, you lot will be going as Exchange students for a whole year’ Chiron stated. 'You cannot afford to let them know that you’re a demigod’ Chiron turned to Calypso.

'I won’t be joining then’ Calypso stated. Leo turned to look at her slightly pained. Before he can talk Calypso cutted him off. ’ I will blow your cover too easily, besides our origin of magic doesn’t work well with theirs’

'please don’t tell me we had another bad war’ Percy groan, Jason simply patted Percy like I feel ya bro. They had pretty much enough of wars as of late.

'Nope, in fact it’s quite the opposite. It is more of an alliance. Back than, the demigods and Wizards were working close together. We are like schools with a partnership. But we severed the connection when the Romans and Greeks started to divide, it is to keep the wizards safe. The gods wiped their memories too, only one trusted wizard is deem fit to know about it. From than they will pass their knowledge to one whom they deem fit to know of our existence’ Chiron explained.

'So this friend of yours is deem fitted to know about our existence?’ Nico asked raising an eyebrow.

'More or less, he is the headmaster of Hogwarts currently. As the generation passed on, the knowledge got.. simplified.. now he only know that half godlings exist.’

'I see..’ Annabeth said as she started to think. 'But why would Calypso say that our magic won’t work with theirs?’

'It’s of different origin Annabeth’ Calypso explained. ’ Our powers are far more powerful than theirs. Like us, their magic runs in the blood but our has more of godly properties while theirs are just plain mortal with magical blood’

'In other words we would make better wizards?’ Frank suggested.

'I don’t see how our powers don’t mix’ Jason pointed out.

'In simple terms, we will make their spells or whatsoever look weak. Even a simple spell will lead to us doing more than it should’ Calypso said, everyone still had a pretty questionable look. ’ In even simpler terms, we are very destructive with their magic, especially with me as a Titan. I could destroy their school with a flick of a wand’

'I won’t be able to go, I have to look after the Romans. Both their Praetor can’t be away’ Reyna said. ’ Frank and Hazel will go and they should be joining you at camp half blood tomorrow’

'So in total there will be 10 of us? Rachel, Nico, Will, Jason ,Piper, Hazel, Frank, Annabeth, Leo and Me’ Percy concluded. Rachel seems really really excited as she could hardly contain her excitement. Bouncing up and down her seat.

'Very well, I will contact my friend and we shall make arrangements, more information will be given tomorrow. For now this meeting is over. Dismiss’ Chiron stated.

'Alright.. i’ll see you tomorrow Nico’ Hazel said.

'Alright.. see you then.. love you too’ Nico smiled. Hazel smiled in return as they wave off the Iris Message.

'Well.. it couldn’t hurt to have an experience at a new school’ Percy sighed. Obviously very displeased with the sudden change of plans.

'Hey.. it’ll be alright’ Annabeth said as she held onto Percy’s hand. ’ I’m sure we can work something out’ With that she lean up and peck his cheek as the group head out of the big house.

'Nico you coming?’ Will called out to the son of Hades who had been zoning out. Nico followed them out to the dinning pavilion where dinner was about to start. Time went by pretty fast. By then tomorrow has arrive.

Frank and Hazel arrived on horseback by noon. Everyone came by and greeted them as they landed. Hazel and Frank rode on Arion’s back. Nico came out of his Cabin to meet his sister whom he grown close to over the years.

Hazel tackle Nico into a hug which knocked Nico off his feet and they tumbled to the ground.

'Sorry..’ Hazel laughed as Nico wrapped his arms around his sister and laughed too. The both got up and dusted themselves as they helped with the bags. As soon as their bags were settled the gang decided to meet up, Chiron had handed some texts to Rachel.

They sat around Zeus cabin’s table during lunch as they scanned through the text about the school. The things that impressed them was the news article, Daily Prophet. An ancient British type of news paper that has moving pictures. Mainly they had Rachel, Frank and Hazel do the reading since most of them are dyslexic. Calypso wasn’t with them, she choose to help around camp and look after Festus.

'It says here that Sirius Black a serial Murderer had escaped from Azkaban. A special prison for wizard criminals. Apparently he killed 13 people in his life and was sentence there, he broke out 12 years later which is last year and is no where to be found as of now’ Rachel summarise as she looked up from the news paper, she laid the news paper flat against the table as everyone took a look at his face.

'He looks like that guy who acted as the commissioner in the Dark knight trilogy series ’ Will pointed out, Nico gave a little nod of agreement. Percy quickly lean over and inspect the picture, seeing how the boys were total nerds about them made the girls feels slightly more superior.

'Well sadly he isn’t’ Rachel added as she scanned another set of the odd news papers. 'Look at this’ She said as she place this above of the Sirius Black picture. The title read The Boy who lies.

'It says Harry Potter also known as the boy who lived has been spouting nonsense of The dark lords return since last year’s Tri-Wizard Tornament. As a result of Cedric Diggory who had been murdered during the event. No one has been able to identify the source of death as Harry James Potter states He who shall not be name had use a killing curse on poor Diggory. Minsitry of Magic councilmen Fudge has claimed that Harry Potter has been under the effects of GillyWeed after the underwater event nad has been hallucinating’ Rachel read out loud to the group. They exchanged looks with one another feeling slightly uncomfortable.

'The kind of people that we are going to mix with..’ Percy sigh and stabbed his fork into his blue sponge cake. Shoving it into his mouth and chew on them mercilessly, YESZ YOU DO NOT MESS WITH FOOD. Just kidding.

'I know.. and it has a whole other article about him and this Dumbledore guy.’ Rachel said. The stoll brothers came jogging up to them.

'Chiron asks to see you lot’ Travis Stoll said as they jogged off to do some other things. Probably stealing.

Moments later in the Big house around the ancient ping pong table.

'Good, all of you have arrived’ Chiron announced. Mr D was no where in sight, probably he is off drinking diet soda in the forest.

'So what news of the quest?’ Jason asked as they sat around the table.

'There has been change of plans, you will have to leave by tomorrow. Apparently, I have gotten the wrong date about the start of their school term’ Chiron announced. Chiron is hardly ever wrong, well someone has been a good friend.

'I have mix the holidays of this continent and theirs. Their summer will end by the end of this month and their school will start by the first of the next’ Chiron said.

'So it will be on September the First?’ Will asked.

'Yes, someone will picked you up by the evening and you will have to get the school supplies. There will be others who will be joining you too’ Chiron stated. Everyone looked around then outside to see the stoll brothers running from lou ellen. Probably they had prank her or something.

'No not them’ Chiron added, everyone gave a sigh of relief. Knowing the Stoll brothers are there, will surely blow their covers within one day. Just then Mr D walked in.

'Let me add on to something’ Mr D said looking around. ’ Hogwarts has been attracting dark energies as of late. Ever since last year.’

'The tournament’ Annabeth blurt out.

'Yes yes.. whatever weird things they had last year. Some of the creatures might be at work. It’s just a warning, do not let them know unless you don’t have a choice.’ Mr D said as he stood up and adjust his purple Hawaiian shirt and left. Could have guest who he went with.

'So now what?’ Percy asked.

'Get packing and tell your parents about this school quest’ Chiron smiled and everyone headed out to their respective cabins and got packing. Clothings, Toiletries, their weapons and god knows what else.

They had been told specific instructions to not bring any of their camping shirts, as to not raise suspicions. They had gathered after wards with their bags and stuff, placing them around the hearth. By then it was time for Dinner. People were already wishing them good luck and stuff seeing how it was their last week for the year. The next time they will be seeing each other would be by next year or Christmas who knows honestly??

'Funny how Chiron says it’s a quest while we didn’t receive any prophecy from our oracle.’ Piper mentioned as ate her sandwich.

'I don’t know but i’m excited!’ Rachel exclaimed bouncing up and down her seat. 'By the way thank you Piper’

'Sure no problem’ Piper replied, earning a few looks from the rest except Nico wh was currently busy with his sandwich. Correction sandwiches. 'Oh.. I had Coach Hedge to send a email to Rachel’s dad informing him about a school exchange program through my dad’s agent. In return we’ll look after her’

Everyone else nodded and continue with their dinner. Chiron had came up and inform them of the location where they are suppose to meet.

'You lot are going to meet them in New York, can’t afford to have them know about the camp. Argus is loading your bags in the vans as we speak, there you will meet with the others. Now hurry on and finish your dinner’ Chiron said and went off to his table.

'Who do think is following us to Hogwarts?’ Annabeth asked. Everybody shrugged as they continue their dinner and quickly head towards the van. Argus was already ready to drive when they arrived. He bowed with his eyes all looking at them. Calypso came up and handed Leo a bag of clothings that she made. She gave Leo a long kiss before saying their goodbyes. Leo on the other hand handed her a bracelet similar to the one he is wearing currently.

Everyone piled into the van and Argus took off. Totally ignoring the speed limit as they head towards New York City. Surprisingly no one wanted to puke during the trip.

'It’s happening!! We’re going!!’ Rachel exclaimed as she bounce up and down in her seat, totally acting like it’s her first time going overseas with her friends which she is. She could hardly contain her excitement as she literally rock the van.

'You think this could be better then high school here?’ Percy asked Annabeth who was leaning against Percy’s chest.

'Maybe.. who knows. After all magic sounds fun.. could be better then high school’ Annabeth agreed as she looked out the window at the city that never sleeps. The lights were illuminating every single building showing the structures of the tall skyscrapers. The night sky brilliantly lighted up by the brightness of the city.

'Maybe you’re right’ Percy agreed as he lean down and pecked Annabeth’s forehead. She smiled and continue to look out the window, enjoying the view of America before they head off to Britain.

Nico was staring out the window, twisting his skull ring. Will sat next to him watching the view from another window. Jason and Piper were cuddling at the back of the van. Overall the van was pretty quiet other than Leo tinkering with the small metal scraps he pulled from his magical tool belt.

In about 45 minutes later, Argus stopped the van next to the East River signalling that we have arrived now get your butts off my van. I’m pretty sure that was what he was thinking. We pile out of the Van and got our belongings in our hand. He shook each of our hands wishing us luck. With that he got back in and took off.

'So what do we do now? I don’t see anybody’ Piper asked around. No one seems to know until.

'Hullo~ Annabeth Chase’ came a girls voice. Annabeth recognize it immediately, she spin around to see the family Sadie Kane with her Brother Carther Kane and Zia Rashid.

'SADDIE!’ Annabeth cried and ran to hug her. 'What are you guys doing here?’

'The same as you, we’re just here to pick you guys up’ Saddie said hugging Annabeth back. The girls began to crowd around while the guys went ahead to meet with Carter .

'So where is your ride?’ Annabeth asked.

'It should be arriving any minute now’ Saddie responded, sure enough a boat revealed itself on the East River. Walt and Amos were on the boat waving for everyone.

'Come on aboard’ Amos greeted taking off his hat as he bow like a gentlemen towards the ladies. Shabti came popping out of the boat and helped the gang carry their belongings towards the boat. As soon as everyone was aboard, Amos waved for the trench coat to start the ship.

'Saddie, Zia this is Rachel’ Annabeth introduced. 'Rachel , Saddie, Zia’

They exchanged their greetings and Rachel just got even more excited. Running around the boat looking at how magic is actually working the boat as they sail into the Duat.

They appeared into the night of London, the Big Ben in sight and the London’s Eye. The city lighted up just as brilliant as New York city. Everyone except Sadie wowed since she had live in Britain for 6 years she pretty much must have been here.

'We left New York at 9.45pm it is currently 2.45am. 31 August’ Amos told us as we gather around him. The boat stopped itself at the dock as everyone got onto the pavement. Unknowingly the boat raise the water level around it’s area for everyone to get onto the pavement. Shabtis carried their bags and handed it over to them. Seems like everyone bought their weapons along. Zia had her staff and wands, Carter had his Khopesh and wand, Sadie like Zia but a few extra amulet, while Walt carried around tons of Amulet, a Khopesh, a staff and a wand. Carter carried his and toss them into the air, it disappear into the Duat. The other magicians did the same.

'Man I wish we can do that’ Jason complained, Percy nodded in agreement. The magicians simply laughed and offered to store their belongings in the Duat. Everyone agreed to it. Amos led them through the street of London till they stopped by a road, with stores and pubs line up on both sides. Most of the stores were close already, except for a few with some drunk people in them laughing. Another cafe was holding a party for some lady who just turned into a mother. Yay for her.

Amos walked them down until a man walked out of the shadows. Everyone stopped dead in their tracks. Percy and the Demigods were ready to draw their weapons when they saw the man.

'Sirius’ Amos greeted. The man with long shaggy brownish hair along with a matching brown mustache, in a red suit that looks kind of like what Amos was wearing.

'Amos Kane’ Sirius said. Both men looked at each other before they smiled and hugged each other.

'It’s been too long.. old friend’ Amos greeted as he turned to the group. 'This is Sirius Black, a wizard from the Order of Phoenix’

'The what?’ Percy questioned, still not planning to ease down.

'Order of Phoenix. We are an organization that fight against the dark lord’ Sirius explained. Then he gestured us towards the run down pub. ’ I’m afraid I can’t answer all your question tonight. You should head in and get some sleep, you lot will have to do some shopping in the morning’

'Why are we staying in a run down pub?’ Leo questioned. Sirius simply laughed and motioned the group forward. As they got closer the black sign began to gain coloring. Words painted with gold and a pot.

'The Leaky Cauldron’ Rachel read out loud for us. Since most of us are dyslexic. Sirius came up to the group.

'I hope you have money to pay’ Sirius said. Everyone suddenly looked pretty uneasy as they didn’t have any London currency to pay. The sound of coin jangling caught everyone’s attention. Nico held up a big black bag filled with coins, everyone was silent.

'Seems like you do’ Sirius nodded. 'Go in there and ask for Tom. Tell him this “ The Fat Lady ate the Honey Badger” and he should know what to do. Have a good rest, i’ll send two people to pick you up for shopping later in the morning. Nice to meet all of you Gentlemen and Ladies’ With that Sirius entered the dark and morph into a big black lab. Leo and Jason shot Frank a look and he mouth Don’t even bother. Surely they want to do some comparison.

Amos laughed and signalled us that he had to take his leave. He turn to Walt and Zia.

'Look after them, i’ll see you back at the house’ He stated and he headed straight for the boat. Percy turned to Walt and Zia.

'You guys are not coming?’ He asked sounding a little dissapointed.

'Nope, we’re just here to make sure you guys make it to Hogwarts. The both of us could blow your cover in Hogwarts, not worth the risk’ Walt said he paused as he scanned the surrounding. 'We better go in now’

Everyone entered the Leaking Cauldron. A few people in really odd attire were chatting away drinking beer. Nico didn’t waste any time as he walked straight up to the counter. A tall man with a button up shirt and a vest that hugged his body showing his slightly potted belly. A chain hanged outside his pocket, and it should be those kind of pocket watches.

'how may I help you young man?’ He smiled and eyed the group.

'We’re looking for Tom’ Nico stated quickly. The man smiled.

'You’re looking at him, how may I help you and your group of friends? Spending the night?’ Tom asked cleaning a cup.

'Yes we are Tom’ Nico replied as he looked at the group. How odd that none of the older ones are doing this. ’ By the way Tom. Did you know The Fat Lady ate the Honey Badger?’

Tom’s face showed no changes in expression but his posture and his eyes did. He stood straight up and eyed Nico, before breaking into a grin.

'Is that so? In any case please follow me’ Tom said as he walked towards the old dusty staircase at the corner of the room next to his bar. A few people gave us weary looks, but they didn’t say a thing.

Tom led them to a room located all the way at the top. He knocked on the door three times and stick a key into the key hole and twist, the sound of the lock unlocking itself as he turned the knob right then left then right again.

'Keeps the insects away’ he smiled as he walked into the room. It was big, 14 beds were laid ready. Windows that allowed you to view the outside world.

'Wow.. but the exterior isn’t all that big’ Annabeth breath, her jaws dropping.

'It’s a room charmed with the extension charmed my deary’ Tom laughed. ’ Breakfast will be ready to be serve up here, do send someone down with the orders and we will send it up. The menu is over there and some papers to write your orders. Toilets are located over there by the side of the room through that door. Enjoy your stay’

As soon as Tom left everyone began to pick out their beds. Naturally the girls chose one side while the guys picked the other. But of course there won’t be a fair split since there are 6 girls and 8 boys. Nico and Leo slept at the girls side since It is darker and away from the window.

The magicians got to work pulling out the belongings from the Duat. Nico just grabbed his toiletries and head straight into the toilet.

'What’s up with Nico lately?’ Jason asked Will.

'Don’t know, he doesn’t look like he had been sleeping well’ Will said.

'Really?’ Hazel asked suddenly alarmed at the fact her brother wasn’t sleeping well for the past few days.

'I think so.. he has been zoning out a lot’ Will replied as he pull his shirt off. Percy and Jason did so too and they climb onto bed, inspecting the softness.

'Is it always filled with super Hot guys at your camp?’ Sadie complained to Annabeth and Piper who simply laughed.

'Pretty much’ Piper replied. Nico walked out of the bath with a towel hang over his shoulder. His black shirt and some black long sweat pants. He head over to his bed and fall on it.

'Hey you okay man?’ Jason asked from his side of the bed.

'yea.. just a little tired that’s all’ Nico yawned. Hazel quickly went over to Nico’s side of the bed but he was already snoring away.

'I didn’t know he was that tired..’ Hazel said to herself. She pulled the sheets over her brother and watch him sleep for a few minutes. Sadie came over and place an ivory elephant next to Nico’s head.

'That should help him with the dreams.’ Sadie smiled to Hazel. Rachel was doing a quick sketch of the place on her drawing pad. Will walked over and looked at the sleeping son of hades. He sigh to himself and walked towards the bath room.

'What’s up with hunky over there?’ Sadie asked Hazel. Hazel shrugged in return. She has been at camp Jupiter for pretty much a long time so she doesn’t know about anything that is happening at camp half blood.

'Thank you for the elephant though’ Hazel said as she held onto Sadie’s hand.

'No problem, Walt brought enough for everyone’ Sadie announced. All heads turned to Walt as he open a small bag filled with mini ivory figures. 'ivory helps to keep the dreams away, that was how they helped someone with insomnia back in ancient Egypt’

'Some one has been doing their homework’ Carter snorted. Sadie gave him a glare.

'At least i’m not a full time nerd’ Sadie pouted as she walked over to her bed. Everyone else laughed a little as they got ready to sleep.

'By the way Hazel, any idea where Nico got the cash?’ Jason asked.

'Not sure, maybe Dad had given it to him just in case’ Hazel responded. ’ Or Nico knew that we needed the cash so he changed it early?’ Jason shrugged as he got ready to sleep.

It was really late and they would have to get up rather early in the morning to get their school supplies. That was pretty much how the first night went as the room fell into a comfortable silence of snoring and shuffling around in the bed.

Apologies for spelling and grammar error. It’s bad i know and it maybe boring. Sorry about it.