and ill probably be the last

So I’ve been having visual hallucinations every now and then for the past like 6 months which I’ve honestly gotten used to and they haven’t even been that bad, but just last night, even though I haven’t had them for over a year, I started having auditory hallucinations again, which can be fucking horrifying at times.

Seriously, if you’ve never had one before, be thankful. Some drove me to tears when I first started experiencing them.

So… Yeah. My night has just been fan-fucking-tastic so far.


TIME FOR POWER OF MABEL WEEK DAY 2!!!!!!! sorry for the late post, this took WAAYYYY longer than i expected it to. i got super carried away with my sketch and decided to just keep it. just like last time, this is 100% done in glittery gel pen! i hope mabel is proud of me

prompt was mabel’s scrapbook, so i wanted to focus on the amount of work that probably went into making it. as a serial crafter myself, i took a lot of inspiration from my room whenever i break out the scrapbooking supplies. i feel like mabel would do the same :,)
Why I Won’t Apologize for Having Fun While Sick

This is one of the scariest parts of chronic illness - knowing that there is a default assumption you are faking/exaggerating. Communication is hard and messy no matter what. But it sucks to know that normal miscommunication/not explaining every last detail/general misconceptions about chronic illness etc. are so often interpreted as signs you aren’t really as sick as you say you are. Here’s the thing: faking/exaggerating symptoms is actually really rare. Yes it happens, but honestly not often at all. And misconceptions about how illness should work are super common. So if you ever feel things don’t line up don’t assume that means the person is lying. Know the much simpler and common answer is just that there is probably some part of their life or their illness that you don’t know and that explains it all


So THIS blog came to my attention last night after I saw their reply to THIS post (which is a pretty mild reply, for them) and a quick scroll through their recent posts shows they seem to troll a lot of ableism related posts.

Some of the worst are: Calling the R-word not a slur, being anti-self diagnosis, calling autism a mental illness, and probably plenty more I just didn’t scroll through to see.

I’m not recommending anyone to go attack them or waste time getting involved with their BS. They seem to attack the same few blogs at a time, so instead I’m recommending people from the disability community block them, because this way we’ll avoid having to read anything they may add to our posts, and also because if people who post about disability block them they’ll see less of our posts to troll in the first place.

I’m moving out tomorrow–leaving the nest, peacing out, whatever you wanna fucking call it–but I’ve had 2 major moves in the past month + this & I still haven’t been the least bit affected by it even though everyone around me has been crying constantly.

I’m totally emotionally stable. Totally.

Sammyboyman and Spiderloaf off to save the day from the forces of Billy evil!

The second of my old sketches done, and probably the last for a while since i gotta get ready for school soon (second year of college yay -_-). I do have a bunch of ideas I still want to do though, so i’ll see if i can still squeeze them in :)

I finished a 6 month BPD therapy last Monday.

After finishing the therapy session, i proceeded to get wasted.

Probably because i don’t like anything ending.

It’s that uncomfortable painful abandonment feeling.

Today i had my post therapy review.


My anxiety appears less (thank you Quetiapine) 

I’m no longer suicidal.

I’ve rarely self harmed since March (minus a few relapses)

I’m less paranoid

and i can function better.


Still impulsive.

Depression is still lingering.

Still have problems with my interpersonal relationships…(working on it)

Still don’t like myself or have a lot of faith in myself.

I drink too much when i drink alcohol.

I have sex with people i probably shouldn’t have. 

I guess i’m just a working progress…


two birds with one stone ill answer both

lets see… in all honesty not much changes between them, yan-kun would still be a creepy lonely kid and senpai would still be a well intentioned sweetheart. I’ll make a few that apply to both versions

  • Yan-kun would probably be in a ton of sports clubs but never be too good in any of them, is always the last one to be chosen when captains are picking teams
  • since Yk is kinda lanky, parents made him partake in basketball, was ok at it but never wanted to continue on
  • Used to catch worms in elementary and lay them on hot side walks
  • Dad has some fishing roots, tries to teach yk how to fish and gut
  • Owns a lot of jeans and second hand leather jackets
  • Insomiac, usually tries to go to bed early but if not then just likes heading outside for a bit, maybe bike around the neighbourhood.

Now some more for Senpai~

  • really oblivious, takes forever for them to get a clue
  • Not super good with technology, needs help figuring out how to work computers,phones etc..
  • Loves watching light hearted cartoons
  • Would make a wordpress blog and update it with small things like “just had lunch at this cafe!” “Going to the store to buy some soil”
  • Makes a lot of lists all the time, also when more adjusted to technology, would make a lot of playlists 
  • Laughs a ton at old memes, like those ones you see your mom sharing or animal themed ones
  • Only game ever played is minecraft

So there you go! 

im only gonna say this once and then ill probably say it out loud to myself whenever i see it happening

modern art is not what you think modern art is please please please please art history yourself it started in the 1800s and is usually cited as ending in 1970. something made last year is not modern