i think what’s making me super antsy is the constant feeling of like, WHEN can my life begin????? which I feel has probably come about because of the two decades lost to mental illness, memory gaps, and an undiagnosed disability + several abusive relationships and trauma from that.
I can’t stress how much things have entirely turned around for me these last two years thanks to medication and treatment and I guess most people have like!!! a good windup to this point in their lives!! where they can be excited about their futures or at the very least spend considerable time thinking about it but for me it likes BAM, suddenly slapped in the face with the WILD idea of having a FUTURE and HAPPINESS. WHEN!!!!!