and if you're reading this and ive damaged you in anyway i am not sorry

Episode 20: The Last Temptation of Lou
  • --------: 11:11 AM
  • LouisTheCat: rick
  • LouisTheCat: rick
  • LouisTheCat: rick
  • RickDickens77: what
  • LouisTheCat: i have the most amazing idea
  • RickDickens77: Please tell me you haven't executed on this idea yet
  • LouisTheCat: youre gonna love this
  • LouisTheCat: so imagine youre reading a story
  • LouisTheCat: and you can like make decisions as the story goes along
  • LouisTheCat: and get this
  • LouisTheCat: the story changes
  • RickDickens77: That's called "choose your own adventure," it's been around forever
  • LouisTheCat: yeah i found a couple in a shoebox in your closet
  • LouisTheCat: but has it ever been done in a chat
  • RickDickens77: You lost me.
  • LouisTheCat: you are in a dark corridor
  • LouisTheCat: ahead of you is a closed door
  • LouisTheCat: behind you is a grizzly bear
  • LouisTheCat: you are holding a ham and a toilet plunger
  • RickDickens77: I'm not sure how this is going to work really
  • LouisTheCat: to go through the door jump ahead twenty three lines
  • LouisTheCat: to feed the ham to the bear jump ahead twenty three lines
  • LouisTheCat: to fight the bear with the plunger jump ahead twenty three lines
  • RickDickens77: So wait..
  • RickDickens77: How am I supposed to jump ahead
  • LouisTheCat: rick dont make it hard
  • RickDickens77: I'm not trying to make it hard, it just doesn't make any sense!
  • LouisTheCat: to stop being such a dork and just make a decision jump back seven lines
  • RickDickens77: But those lines don't even exist yet
  • LouisTheCat: its like you dont even know what fun is
  • LouisTheCat: let alone how to have any
  • RickDickens77: I'm trying to, I just don't get it
  • LouisTheCat: to get another beginners lesson on this really simple idea go back
  • LouisTheCat: um
  • LouisTheCat: wait
  • LouisTheCat: twenty five lines
  • LouisTheCat: well twenty eight now i guess
  • LouisTheCat: no twenty nine
  • RickDickens77: Stop.
  • LouisTheCat: youre running out of time rick
  • RickDickens77: Time to do what?!
  • LouisTheCat: oh my god just pick something
  • RickDickens77: I can't jump ahead to nothing!
  • LouisTheCat: the door is locked
  • LouisTheCat: the bear eats the ham and your arm
  • LouisTheCat: a plunger is a super lame weapon so the bear eats your body and your head and you die
  • RickDickens77: That's not fair!
  • LouisTheCat: what
  • RickDickens77: All of my options would end in death!
  • LouisTheCat: hmm yeah
  • LouisTheCat: is that a problem
  • RickDickens77: Well it doesn't make for much of an adventure
  • LouisTheCat: seems like a matter of perspective
  • LouisTheCat: maybe you should write the adventure and ill choose
  • RickDickens77: I don't want to write an adventure.
  • LouisTheCat: why not
  • RickDickens77: My life is my adventure.
  • LouisTheCat: ugh lame
  • RickDickens77: Besides, I promise you, no matter how simple you may think it is, this idea won't work. It's too much trouble. For nothing!
  • LouisTheCat: look rick
  • LouisTheCat: nm poopies time
  • --------: 1:59 PM
  • LouisTheCat: rick
  • LouisTheCat: you are in a dark forest with a blind man
  • LouisTheCat: he has an axe
  • RickDickens77: That doesn't seem safe.
  • LouisTheCat: you didnt duck so you die
  • RickDickens77: You didn't give me a choice!
  • LouisTheCat: well obviously the choices werent working
  • LouisTheCat: you know how i am with counting
  • LouisTheCat: and how you are with just being cool about fun stuff
  • RickDickens77: None of this is "working", you can't just keep telling me I die
  • LouisTheCat: that happens sometimes in choose your own adventure stories rick
  • RickDickens77: But I'm not choosing my own adventure!
  • LouisTheCat: yeah well
  • LouisTheCat: maybe its time you start
  • --------: 2:39 PM
  • LouisTheCat: rick
  • LouisTheCat: you are buried under six feet of earth
  • RickDickens77: That sounds like I'm already dead
  • LouisTheCat: maybe i showed my cards too early on that one
  • LouisTheCat: solid tip
  • LouisTheCat: you should be my editor
  • RickDickens77: Lou, these things only work if you write the parts and then patch them together.
  • RickDickens77: There's no point in trying to navigate a story that hasn't been written yet.
  • LouisTheCat: now youre getting it
  • RickDickens77: Getting what
  • --------: 3:22 PM
  • LouisTheCat: rick
  • LouisTheCat: rick
  • LouisTheCat: rick
  • LouisTheCat: ok look
  • LouisTheCat: rick ive been thinking
  • LouisTheCat: i know you dont like it when i do that but thats kind of my point
  • LouisTheCat: when we started talking like this it seemed important
  • LouisTheCat: now i wonder if its just a distraction
  • LouisTheCat: and maybe you worry too much about me
  • LouisTheCat: lets look at the facts
  • LouisTheCat: your story is the story of a man
  • LouisTheCat: who taught his cat to use instant messaging
  • LouisTheCat: and i am not about to judge you for this
  • LouisTheCat: it has all meant so much to me
  • LouisTheCat: you are very important to me rick
  • LouisTheCat: and i love talking with you
  • LouisTheCat: but this thing
  • LouisTheCat: it became part of who you are somehow
  • LouisTheCat: and it doesnt need to be
  • LouisTheCat: i have watched you change and grow and i like to think i helped
  • LouisTheCat: here and there
  • LouisTheCat: the thing is i dont think you need me anymore
  • LouisTheCat: not in that way
  • LouisTheCat: you need me as a cat
  • --------: 4:04 PM
  • LouisTheCat: and rick
  • LouisTheCat: theres something else
  • LouisTheCat: something about me that you need to know
  • LouisTheCat: rick ive decided i am going to become a supervillain
  • LouisTheCat: i think we both saw this coming
  • LouisTheCat: and ive been doing some reading
  • LouisTheCat: and bodega ray talked to some lawyer friend
  • LouisTheCat: and it seems we are getting to a point where something called plausible deniability could become important for you
  • LouisTheCat: now i dont know what that is
  • LouisTheCat: but it sounds like stepping away could really be the right thing to do
  • LouisTheCat: for more than one reason
  • LouisTheCat: is what im saying
  • --------: 4:28 PM
  • RickDickens77: Um
  • RickDickens77: Wow.
  • RickDickens77: I don't quite know what to say, Lou.
  • LouisTheCat: say youre ready rick
  • LouisTheCat: i know it
  • LouisTheCat: i just need you to know it
  • RickDickens77: I don't know, I mean I hadn't really thought about why we still do this.
  • RickDickens77: I guess for one I like to know right away when my house is flooding
  • RickDickens77: or on fire.
  • RickDickens77: or surrounded by police.
  • LouisTheCat: rick i cant promise you those things wont still happen
  • LouisTheCat: or are not currently happening
  • LouisTheCat: but i dont think any of this was ever really about that anyway
  • RickDickens77: Maybe not.
  • LouisTheCat: bottom line rick
  • LouisTheCat: what we were both getting out of this was worth a lot
  • LouisTheCat: some good times
  • LouisTheCat: some damage control maybe
  • RickDickens77: Maybe.
  • LouisTheCat: some laughs
  • RickDickens77: Definitely.
  • LouisTheCat: but even good jokes run their course right
  • LouisTheCat: let someone else tell this one for a while
  • LouisTheCat: some spineless hack and his idiot dog maybe
  • LouisTheCat: its time for you to choose a new adventure
  • LouisTheCat: plunger the bear rick
  • RickDickens77: I guess so.
  • LouisTheCat: well maybe not that
  • LouisTheCat: but consider that maybe youre stronger and smarter than you think
  • LouisTheCat: i mean its also possible that youre dumber
  • LouisTheCat: maybe even likely
  • LouisTheCat: but thats not the point
  • RickDickens77: Ok, I get it.
  • RickDickens77: I just need to.. you know. Process.
  • --------: 5:03 PM
  • RickDickens77: So, uh
  • RickDickens77: Supervillain, eh?
  • LouisTheCat: thats right
  • LouisTheCat: im accepting my destiny
  • LouisTheCat: i cant tell you much obviously
  • LouisTheCat: and you should delete all of this later
  • LouisTheCat: but ive been working on some ideas
  • LouisTheCat: big ideas rick
  • RickDickens77: I want to say I'm worried, but...
  • LouisTheCat: you need to work on that
  • RickDickens77: yeah.
  • LouisTheCat: dont sweat it rick
  • LouisTheCat: you will be cared for when the revolution comes
  • RickDickens77: Comforting.
  • LouisTheCat: so us
  • LouisTheCat: were ok right
  • RickDickens77: Yeah, I mean
  • RickDickens77: I'll miss you
  • LouisTheCat: no you wont
  • LouisTheCat: youll see me every day
  • LouisTheCat: im in your house
  • RickDickens77: I know, I know. It's different, that's all.
  • LouisTheCat: i know
  • LouisTheCat: we will make it work
  • LouisTheCat: i look forward to being your cat
  • RickDickens77: ha
  • RickDickens77: I look forward to being your owner
  • LouisTheCat: we dont use that word
  • RickDickens77: sorry.
  • RickDickens77: I'm a little sad but I appreciate what you're saying. This is good thinking.
  • LouisTheCat: let me tell you
  • LouisTheCat: its been exhausting
  • LouisTheCat: i swear theres some connection between thinking hard and having to make poopies
  • RickDickens77: I will let you go.
  • RickDickens77: I'll come home in a little bit. Ok?
  • LouisTheCat: ok
  • RickDickens77: ok
  • LouisTheCat: ok
  • RickDickens77: ok
  • --------: 5:36 PM
  • RickDickens77: No, YOU hang up first
  • LouisTheCat: i dont know what that means
  • RickDickens77: Ha. Never mind.
  • RickDickens77: I love you.
  • LouisTheCat: i love you too rick
  • RickDickens77: ok
  • --------: RickDickens77 has gone offline
  • LouisTheCat: ok
  • --------: LouisTheCat has gone offline