I Just Want To Talk// Harry Styles
heyy i started this a long time ago and finally got around to finishing it!! It’s kind of short but I hope you enjoy it. Send me requests if you wanna :)))
“I just want to talk.”
It was 3:36 in the morning and I was standing at my door face to face with boy that had completely shattered me 1 month prior. I was wearing nothing but an oversized t-shirt and fuzzy socks. His eyes were rimmed with red and were glossy, a dead giveaway that he had been up crying for some time now.
“You never just want to talk Harry.” I replied in a sour tone, partly from being woken up at such an early hour and partly to keep myself from crying.
“No. You don’t understand. I really need to talk to you Y/N.”
I had never heard such desperation in his voice. He was always confident, every word he ever spoke he was sure of it. But this time was different. He undoubtedly didn’t have the right to feel hurt, but he did, and I felt bad for him.
“Alright, you can come in. But this isn’t going- “
I wasn’t even given the opportunity to finish my sentence before I was overwhelmed with his lips. One hand was on my hip guiding me towards my bed, while the other swiftly shut the door.
He was at an advantage, and he knew it.
It was like I was drunk off him. I couldn’t focus and I couldn’t get around to stopping what was happening. His lips sent me into a haze. This time it was different.
“I want to show you how much I love you Y/N. Please let me, please.” His voice was shaking while his words were casually interrupted by the occasional cracking of his voice.
“No.” Slowly my arms found their way from Harry’s hair to his chest, giving it a quick but gentle shove.
“You came to talk remember?” I spat at him, mostly to convince myself that I shouldn’t cave, as I have many times before.
We sat there staring at each other for what felt like an eternity. Me, staring at him with hot tears running down my cheeks as a silent plea for him to say something, anything, and him standing there, lips slightly parted with his arms folded loosely in front of him. I was beginning to run out of patience when I heard Harry begin to speak softly.
“I understand that I am the last person you want to see right now. But I just came to tell you that I’ll never love anyone the way I love you, and I mean that. No one compares to you. No one will ever take your place. I’m sorry for all the nights I was away and didn’t even call you to let you know to not wait up for me. I’m sorry for not treating you the way you deserved. And I know you don’t love me anymore, but just know that when I leave, and we never see each other again, you always own a piece of me, that’s all.”
I couldn’t speak, so I just looked down. I could still feel Harry’s eyes on me and there was nothing I could do about it.
“Please say something Y/N” He pled
“Why are you crying Harry? You did this.” My words caught him off guard. His face was frozen with this look of shock, as if he didn’t see this coming.
“I didn’t fuck this up. I didn’t allow my girlfriend to come home and find me naked in bed with another girl. I didn’t give up 2 years for one night Harry. I didn’t do any of that”.
“Y/N I-“ He tried to defend himself but I quickly cut him off.
“Actually, you know what? I’m sorry. I’m sorry for ever thinking you could commit to me. I’m sorry for seeing the best in you and ignoring what everyone told me. I’m sorry for putting up with all your shit. And I’m sorry for ever falling in love with you, but at least I know now that none of it was real, right?”
I was screaming at this point and Harry was just standing there taking it, until he decided to speak up.
“You know I love you, so don’t ever say I didn’t.” He spoke quickly, as if he was afraid I was going to cut him off again before he could get his sentence out.
“I hope you stay up crying at night, wondering what you did to make the one person you gave everything to, not love you anymore. You deserve to feel worthless, you deserve all the heart ache. And guess what, it’s gonna hurt so fucking bad because I’m the one and you know it.”
I was breathing heavy. Tears were still coming down my face but they had slowed dramatically. All Harry could do was stare at me, there was no way for him to defend himself so I didn’t expect him to say anything.
“I’ll leave.” He said with his voice so low I could barely hear him.
When I didn’t respond, Harry began making his way to the door. I couldn’t move. It was like my feet were suddenly apart of the floor, and no matter how bad I wanted to stop him and tell him everything was going to be okay, I couldn’t.
So, I didn’t.
The slamming of the door brought me out my haze and back to reality. It was finally done. The end of an era. No more Harry and Y/N.
Harry taught me a lot. He taught me that beds were meant to be shared. He taught me to appreciate little things, like hand written letters or smiles from strangers. I needed to learn how to be alone because our bed turned to my bed, our couch turned into my couch, our bathroom turned into my bathroom, and our apartment turned into my apartment.
But lastly, I turned back into me. I wasn’t his girl anymore.
I was me. And my heart was my heart, once again.
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