and if only two people participate i'll give you all everything

Am I upset? Oh boy you bet I am. I’m upset because I live in a world where everyone’s told they’re a snowflake. Everyone’s told they’re special and different and one of a kind. I’m upset because I live in a world where I’m lied to, you know? When I was younger I thought I was special, I thought I was going to change the world. I thought I was better than average. I’m not. I’m a special snowflake all right, but I’m a special snowflake that’s lost in a drift with a million other snowflakes who are as, if not more, special than I am.
You know what makes it worse? Nobody will tell me that. Whenever I say I’m not going to make a difference or that I’m not special, a soccer mom comes running in screaming that I am. If the participation medal I got when I was seven or the paper honor roll certificate I got in eighth grade is what makes me special, boy do I have a reason to be upset. That’s not special. Maybe compared to someone else it is, but they’ve probably got something special of their own that suburban moms are gushing over.
I’m upset that kids are told they’re special. You’re not born special. You played on a sports team? Well good for you kid, that doesn’t mean you’re the next Babe Ruth. You won a debate round? Great, let me know when you become president. It’s harsh I know, but maybe if we stopped telling kids they were amazing, talent, wonderful flowers from God’s own garden, they’d stop believing it their entire lives. Maybe they’d get their heads out of the clouds and work towards being something special.  
You know what believing I was special got me? A whole lot of anxiety and an inferiority complex, that’s what it got me. Because my mom told me I was special my entire life, I believed her. So when I saw some kid do better than me, I thought, gee I wish I was that good. Instead, I was constantly living short of my so-called potential. Maybe if I was raised to think, you’re okay, but you’re never going to be better than average if you don’t try and work for it, I might actually have worked for something and not assumed it would be handed to me because I was a special perfect snowflake that was gracing everyone’s life by simply drifting through.
So yah, I’m a little upset. Worst of all, my parents’ generation and their parents’ generation sit around complaining that people my age are entitled, prissy, lazy, narcissistic, broke, stressed for absolutely no reason, underachieving punks with no work ethic. Well guess who raised us to be entitled, prissy, lazy, narcissistic, broke, stressed for absolutely no reason, underachieving punks with no work ethic? I can promise you it wasn’t the special little snowflakes and God’s personally grown flowers that feel like they don’t live up to their parents expectations because they were raised in a world where they have a little special something that other kids don’t have and yet if anyone else asked, they’re all equal because you don’t want a kid to feel bad about themselves. Don’t let other kids know that they might be less by giving them participation trophy when they suck. Don’t let other kids know that they might not make it far in life by giving them a bogus award that doesn’t mean anything so that they don’t feel bad that some kid got a four point oh by studying non-stop while they sat around and did nothing and scraped by with a two point.  
OF COURSE I’M UPSET. Even now, I have some much stress and anxiety in my life I can barely keep my sanity for a semester. I cry when break comes because it’s over, but I know it’s going to start again in a month. I was raised with a sense of entitlement that lead me to think everyone wants to give the special snowflake everything I wanted. So now that scholarships are harder to get and there’s fewer jobs and everything costs more and there’s downright awful social conditions for me to live in, don’t think for one second that I wouldn’t be upset.
I’m upset because I’m working so hard to be special and make a difference, but so is everyone else. Maybe if someone didn’t destroy everything for us before we got there and then say that it was our fault that the world was going to hell because we’re a bunch of entitled, prissy, lazy, narcissistic, broke, stressed for absolutely no reason, underachieving punks with no work ethic, we’d stand a chance. Maybe if we didn’t think we were special snowflakes in a world where we’re nothing but average, we’d try and be something more instead of falling short to outrageous expectations. If we were raised to believe we were average, we’d set our goals to be above that.
I’m upset because kids are raised to believe that they are above average. You know where goals are set when you think your above average? They’re set at perfect. I’m upset because an average kid can’t ever reach perfect, yet they were raised to believe that that is the only place they can go. So, yes, I’m upset.
—  KJS // Excerpt from the book I’ll never write #15
Make Happy Starter Pack
  • Mix of comedy, deep stuff, out of context stuff, and potentially NSFW-ish sentences.
  • "Ladies if you feel me, say hell yeah!"
  • "Fellas if you feel me, say hell yeah!"
  • "Virgins, if you haven't felt a person, say hell yeah!"
  • "If you like drinking booze, let me hear you say hell yeah!"
  • "If you like smoking weed, let me hear you say hell yeah!"
  • "I can't wrap my mind around exactly why I'm here."
  • "I know you paid money."
  • "I should be funny."
  • "Look at the world. I don't know why I'm here."
  • "I would love to tell you that everything is fine."
  • "You wanna be happy... Well, get in line!"
  • "It gets old after a few minutes."
  • "Let's get this show started."
  • "I already fucked it up."
  • "Haters gonna hate. Lovers gonna love."
  • "You have to reject both sides of the spectrum to leave a healthy middle."
  • "Stop participating."
  • "Not a participatory thing going on up here."
  • "Did you not think I was gonna use this, idiot(s)?"
  • "It's not a prop."
  • "I've got a lot of problems in my life."
  • "I got no one to talk to."
  • "There's everyone and then there is just me."
  • "If I could change, don't you think that I'd do it?"
  • "God only knows, why he cursed me to be ________/(a straight white man)"
  • "I state my problems, other people roll their eyes."
  • "Three trips to the mall, zero _______ in my size."
  • "I've never been the victim of a random search for drugs."
  • "You can't say my life is easy."
  • "I know the road looks though ahead."
  • "Can't you just leave us alone?"
  • "Also, 'no' to the things you asked for."
  • "They are being greedy and they know it."
  • "Everyone thinks that I got it easy."
  • "Just because it's true, doesn't mean that it's right."
  • "So pull up a chair and put down your pitchforks."
  • "We still do, but it's not as fun now."
  • "If you were offended by that, it was ironic."
  • "Isn't that fun?"
  • "I meant the whole opposite of it."
  • "White guys... it's easy to be a white guy."
  • "We deserve a cheer once in a while."
  • "We invented a lot of stuff."
  • "Everything but peanut butter."
  • "Your grandkids are going to see this."
  • "Put the lights down."
  • "Their faces creep me out."
  • "I'm not perfect, ok?"
  • "Twice in a week? What is this?"
  • "Do you want to sing a song with me?"
  • "Hey, _____, guess what?"
  • "You're a (insert insult here)."
  • "So I was interrupted the other day-"
  • "Can you turn the lights off at least?"
  • "Why was it on a record player?"
  • "It's gonna outlive me."
  • "Do not give those dumb fucks any credit."
  • "It's all me baby, all me."
  • "How dare you make that joke so late!"
  • "I like poetry."
  • "Do not veer credit to people outside this building!"
  • "Two examples is enough."
  • "I'm right in the sweet spot."
  • "I could give that money to a homless person. But I don't do that very often."
  • "Tomorrow is a relative term. We're not getting there."
  • "You don't know where I'm going, so don't act like it."
  • "You're not ahead of me."
  • "I will retain the element of surprise."
  • "I'm trying to break out of that."
  • "This might not work."
  • "________, I heard you had sex with an older woman last night?"
  • "How does he do it?"
  • "I'm not honest for a second up here."
  • "I think country music gets a bad rep."
  • "A dirt road, a cold beer, blue jeans, a red pick-up."
  • "No shoes, no shirt."
  • "Sort of a mental typo."
  • "I could sing in mandarin."
  • "I own a private ranch that I rarely use. I don't like dirt."
  • "Now it's time to talk to the ladies."
  • "Good girl in a straw head."
  • "Thought it was a human woman."
  • "That is a scarecrow."
  • "I'm wanting you. I hope you're feeling me."
  • "You don't know what land you're in...?"
  • "They are lying to you, that's all."
  • "You deserve better."
  • "I'm not saying I'm it, but I'm the person that says you deserve better."
  • "It's the end of culture."
  • "We lost."
  • "How is this entertainment?"
  • "I saw a gorgeous dick. I was in a public restroom."
  • "You're not picturing this."
  • "I need to earn it."
  • "You need to earn it."
  • "There's more where that came from."
  • "Ladies, I know where that came from."
  • "You want a guy that's sweet."
  • "This ugy only exists in your mind."
  • "Guess what? You're right."
  • "If you want love, lower your expectations a few."
  • "Prince Charming would never settle for you."
  • "Just pick a guy and love him."
  • "Just pick a girl and love him."
  • "You wan't a girl that is noce, a girl that is not."
  • "A real girl, a hot girl, a really hot girl!"
  • "She's real, but last week she died."
  • "You might think you dick is a gift, I promise it's not."
  • "I won't settle for less than perfect."
  • "Deep down we know we don't deserve it."
  • "We all deserve love."
  • "We all suck, but love can make us suck less."
  • "It's the very best part of being alive."
  • "Original does not mean good."
  • "Anyone can do anything."
  • "What is it good for?"
  • "I don't want to get political..."
  • "They just liked the lights, I didn't even need to do jokes."
  • "Yeah, you like that?"
  • "Honey are you ok?"
  • "Are you drunk?"
  • "What's behind your back?"
  • "It's a jar of peanut butter. Alright? Sue me."
  • "Why are you holding a jar of mayonnaise."
  • "I'll clean it up."
  • "You'll make it worse if you try it."
  • "Who are you talking to?"
  • "You just gestured to the sink."
  • "I bought something."
  • "Sit in silence."
  • "Nothing tastes better than not getting sued."
  • "You don't want that desperate sort of cloying thing."
  • "I'm just overpaid, ok?"
  • "I sound mean and rude."
  • "Let a professional hear it."
  • "Stick your tongue in a plug."
  • "Hold your breath until it's gone."
  • "Take your pants off!"
  • "You think it's ok because I'm a dude?"
  • "You think it's ok because he is a dude?"
  • "It's over."
  • "We shouldn't fight to stay together just to fight again."
  • "We need to take a break from us to make it right again."
  • "Honestly are you fucking five?"
  • "I've got my father's temper. I'm emotionally inarticulate."
  • "I'm hurting inside, I'm trying to hide it."
  • "I thought you were lashing out in anger."
  • "I deserve better than you."
  • "Sorry, you're not what I need."
  • "What am I talking about, you know?"
  • "It's about... but for real, what is it about?"
  • "No one gives a shit about what we think!"
  • "The arrogant is taught."
  • "It's prison. It's horrific"
  • "I know very little about anything."
  • "He talked about his problems."
  • "I thought... maybe I could do this."
  • "Can I say my shit, _______?"
  • "I got lots of shit to say."
  • "I can't fit my hand insdie a pringle can."
  • "It's way too small."
  • "You think you can. I know you can't"
  • "Just... make them wider?"
  • "I wanna have a daughter."
  • "But that is priority numero uno."
  • "I don't go to the gym 'cause I'm self concious about my body."
  • "I'm self concious about my body because I don't go to the gym."
  • "Irony can be so painful."
  • "Dude, you should have warned me."
  • "No one wants to have a messx burrito."
  • "I wouldn't have gotten the _______ if I knew it wouldn't fit."
  • "I wouldn't have got half of it."
  • "I'm ok with small mistakes."
  • "I don't think that I can handle this right now."
  • "I can sit here an pretend that my biggest problems are pringle cans and burritos."
  • "The truth is my biggest problem is you."
  • "I want to please you but stay true to myself."
  • "Part of me loves you, part of me hates you, part of you needs you, part of me fears you."
  • "I should probably just shut up."
  • "You can tell them anything."
  • ""I hope you're happy."
  • "Oh, good, it's just us."
  • "If you hated it, it's fair."
  • "On a scale of one to zero, ________?"
  • "Are you happy?"
  • "But what the fuck kind of question is 'are you happy'?"
  • "Oh god, my dad was right."
  • "You're everything you hated. Are you happy?"
  • "Hey, look, Mom, I made it! Are you happy?"

Happy Birthday, Vika!


“Dear Vika, your fans here! We want to roll in and say some things that we think you must remember.

You, our precious fantastic girl, are like really just such a glorious human and an adorable, wonderful creature, it is unbelievable.

Being a hella cool and amazing blogger, you’re also an artist whose works rip breaths &multifandom feels out of one’s soul.

Seriously, you are a very powerful artbender, your arts cause laugh and joy or legit tears straightaway.

You grow, you change, your art-style changes — well, big Geronimo to that! We’ll love and support you no matter what.

Read &watch what you like, draw what you want and keep being utterly amazing, because

You really are incredible! We ♥ you! Be happy. For the future! 

Stay tsuyoi, healthy, &stunningly sarcastic, our cheerful innocent kid! PS: That’s for your illegally marvelous arts&personality, and that’s for everything else. PS2: Thank you for being you!”

Here it is, guys. Here it is!

Almost 10 months. 168 people in the collage, 170 with two more organizers. Hella lot of worry, wasted nerves, bitter anticipation, dejected modes and hours of recruiting all the participants, helping them and collecting everything so that it’d turn into this fine piece of art :’)

Initially, this wasn’t going to be a birthday present. Back in August, when PJO fans were acting up, I just wanted to make something small to cheer Vika up and decided to organize a quick collage of 20-30 people in about 2-3 weeks to just make her smile and distract from all that a little. *nervous laughter* Didn’t quite work out, did it. The collage kept growing, and I, for some reason, kept recruiting more and more people — we were joking like, haha, now it’s postponed till New Year, but we’ll definitely make it by then! Only then did we realize just how screwed we were. This is why the whole thing might look a bit… awkward, because I kept fitting and fitting people in! I bet most of the participants have decided that we’ve ditched this (but I will make sure to inform everyone). And yet here we finally are!

First of all, I want to thank all those wonderful, amazing people who helped me to make this real and are actually the ones to thank for collecting all the photos: Yuliya Vorozheikina, Alice Moroz, Zhanna Boiko and Valya Baryshnikova. You guys were so cool, I will never ever be able to thank you properly — for tolerating me, for reacting and working quickly when needed, for being creative, reliable and just best people to work with. They deserve a memorial each for simply dealing with my endless recruiting. Thank you, just tHANK YOU SO, SO MUCH!

Then I would like to thank all the participants, because come on guys, just look at this! Look at what you’ve created with us! Especially all those artists who really don’t have much time but still managed to take part in this, thank you so much, you wonderful human beings! I’m so glad to see this diversity, we have people from Australia, Canada, Germany, Russia, Ukraine, UK, Japan, India, Brazil and many others, which is incredible! Thank you for giving your time for this, for tolerating me, thank you for helping me to congratulate and make this wonderful creature of darkness happier!

And now, Vika, I want to tell you a couple of words as well :)

You’ve already opened the package and read my letter, so I guess I might repeat myself here, but trust me — I’ll never get tired of this and will always find new ways to tell you how much I admire you and what an amazing, unbelievable person you really are. Just look at this! Look at all those people, who united to congratulate you! Everything said there is true — about how wonderful you are, what a brilliant artist you grew to be (and are still growing), and I just. I’m gonna admit I simply don’t have enough time to express everything I want to write down here (and I will, but later), because of the damn timezones, but still: please, please, never ever forget how much we all love you, okay? And I’m not saying that for the sake of saying that, it’s simply the truth. Apart from simply bringing joy (and sometimes such desired pain :’) to people’s lives, you inspire them, you help them fight bad mood and even depression, find themselves and generally feel much better, you give valuable advises and are actually one of the funnies and most adorable people I know. I also wanna say that you’re an awesome friend, I honestly couldn’t have wished for anyone else. You brought so much good stuff in my life, so many great, wonderful things that I still find it hard to believe just how lucky I was to befriend you, and I thank the gods for that day when I decided to message you for the first time. You changed my life for the better by simply being there, and this is the humblest way I can thank you for it. And I’m sure I’m not the only one to think this way. Thank you so much for just simply being there, being who you are, because that’s the best all of us could ask for :)

You really are incredible!

Happy Birthday, Dumbass Senpai! <33

Your loyal fans&friends.

let’s talk about theon

the horrific yet quasi-poetic tragedy of this show and the winterfell plotline is that, in the books, theon held his tongue regarding jeyne’s true identity because he knew that no one would give a crap about saving her if they knew she wasn’t a stark.

and d&d specifically switched jeyne with sansa in the show, because they thought that no one would give a crap about watching this storyline if the girl that ramsay marries isn’t a stark. interesting…

in adwd, theon’s participation in their escape is framed as a carefully built-up break from his severe mental, emotional, and physical disturbance, and the fact that he participates AT ALL is a huge deal. he doesn’t save her by himself, but recognizing that he has the ability to leave ramsay, stressing the continuation of the ‘jeyne is arya’ con to protect jeyne, and feeling emotionally tied to the only person who sees him as theon before reek are all huge moments. his personal identity and struggles with loyalty are all put aside when he realizes that he and his fellow prisoner have a real shot at either death or stannis’ camp, both of which would be better than ramsay. jeyne never stops asking him for help, she never stops trying, but even she is almost broken on the eve of their escape. he knows he can’t redeem himself to the people he hurt, he can’t solve his past problems, can’t take back jeyne’s torture, so he doesn’t try. he just jumps. 

in the show, sansa was carefully placed in ramsay’s hands by d&d, as a symbol of everything theon feels guilty for. they took robb’s problems, robb’s choice of allies, robb’s name, and they put all that on sansa so we as viewers would know that sansa is just a marker. robb’s problems are sansa’s problems. saving sansa means that theon is redeeming himself in robb’s eyes. seeing sansa in pain was an allegory for all the problems that theon caused because he should have just chosen team stark. sansa, another POV character, has no development, she only has pain. 

it’s incredibly sad as a book fan to see such a wonderfully nuanced story be mishandled for shock value, and the false, disgusting promise that ‘sansa will become stronger’ by being assaulted. the whole adwd arc is shocking, yes, but grrm handles it in a way where the shock actually MEANS something. it goes somewhere. there’s payoff. d&d put sansa in jeyne’s place to further their mistaken belief that theon greyjoy is really a stark at heart. they placed an identity on him that he only considered in the books. book!theon feels regret for his actions, killing the boys, betraying robb, but by adwd he knows his place and he knows he could never have been one of them, yet d&d scrapped all of this and decided for the audience that theon’s identity problems (and sansa’s vale arc) weren’t as interesting as causing a woman pain just because she’s a stark.

they decided that jeyne wasn’t worth saving, but sansa WAS, because of all that sansa represents, mistakenly assuming that as long as a woman marries ramsay and theon feels bad about it, it doesn’t really matter who she is.

but jeyne wasn’t supposed to represent theon’s problems. jeyne was SUPPOSED to be someone who wasn’t worth saving. she was just jeyne. a nobody*. she is exactly the type of person who gets hurt because powerful men don’t consider girls to have individual human value aside from their ability to please men. I MEAN CAN WE JUST CONSIDER THIS IRONY FOR A SECOND. there’s a quote from the books that i can’t remember exactly, but trust me. this means something. the asoiaf books are not about ‘you have to root for this character because _______’. they are about the problems that arise when lords, ladies, kings, and queens pay more attention to their power struggles than the people around them (yes i am including the white walkers. really ppl should keep a better eye on them, right??). d&d may understand that they have a very interesting set of characters on their hands, but they are more concerned with ‘what person can we kill/assault/strip naked to make people tweet about our show!!!!’ than they are the subtleties of power and lack thereof.

theon’s issue with his own power and abilities is a really interesting look inside someone who has a lot of potential but has been shuffled back and forth between families of opposing values that he’s completely lost sight of what he wants. he’s a lord’s son. but that title doesn’t automatically bequeath upon the bearer the set of tools needed to govern a nation/country/city. he has to learn. he knows that he can be a leader, but his waffling between values (should i be tough, or merciful? should i stay and ride it out, or leave? should i listen to my sister’s voice? luwin’s? ned’s? my own?) leads to his demise and he becomes the exact opposite of the person he wanted to be. a nobody. the psychological narrative of two people that westeros forgot, helping each other in subtle ways, is really compelling. i understand that that’s very hard to portray on screen, yes. but i can’t act like it doesn’t upset me.

theon is just a pale representation of his book counterpart, and forcing him to observe sansa’s torture in order for him to find a redemption that doesn’t exist in the books, is offensive to me as a feminist and devastating to every part of me that considers him my favourite character.

(*i know that she’s technically highborn but let’s be real. who in westeros cares what happens to her? is she as important as The Starks of Winterfell?)