and i'm too lazy to make anything new so i'm sorry

anonymous asked:

I'm sorry to bother you, but do things really get better? I'm 16 right now and everything I know is sadness and exhaustion and anger and then I talk to my parents and they just complain about adult life... is it worth it to go on?

oh gosh, i promise, it’s worth waiting, buddy. i know there are a lot of people who say, oh it gets better. and it does in some ways, but what it really gets is different. the people who are angry and mean and horrible often stay that way. the people who cut you off or who flip you off or who piss you off often are the same people at 16 as at 26. 

i think i hated people telling me “it gets better” because what could get better about being a mentally ill queer cuban girl in a world that wanted to eat me. i got spat out. my writing isn’t published because i’ve been rejected so many times i don’t even notice anymore. i was told a few times “make it less obviously homosexual”. what is going to get better about that, i said to myself. the memory of it will never be a nice one.

things got different slowly. like i didn’t realize until i was far on the other side of it. i wasn’t kidding in that last post when i said today i read my writing at 15 and it was painfully obvious how depressed i was. i didn’t have a diagnosis. like you, all i knew was that i was exhausted and angry and sad all the time and when i talked about it, i was told “everyone feels that way sometimes.” i felt that way all the time. in this story, i don’t suddenly wake up after turning 18 and have a magical life where it is all bunnies and flowers and loving. it took me 3 years of trying before i finally managed to quit self-harm completely. my eating disorder and i are still not on speaking terms, luckily. i’m slowly getting a handle on my ocd. i didn’t realize that the biggest thing that was changing was me.

yeah. being out of the house made it easier. away from where people knew me as a certain person. being someone new or being who i was or being in a room full of people who didn’t care how gay i was. being in control made it better. finding real and true friends made it better. being able to make my own plans and choose my own story and do more than just wait until i was old enough to be taken seriously - it got better.

but honestly it’s me. i learned how to shake hands with depression, he and i are such good old buddies i sometimes see him before he’s even coming. and i’ve gotten so good at getting out of his embrace, because practice makes perfect, same as anything. and i’ve learned things about myself i had no idea about at 16. i didn’t even realize i’m funny. i had never been skinny dipping. my only kiss had been sort of an accident. there was a lot i cared about then that i don’t care about now, because in my new world outside of that, the people i surround myself with don’t care either. i’ve worn a dinosaur onesie pajama set to eight parties now when 19 year old me wouldn’t be seen without her makeup. i wear glasses in public even though i’m nervous they make me look like a bug. i have tattoos and new piercings and a bank account (and no money) and i have love. and i don’t mean with a partner, although i’m blessed enough to say i have that as well - i mean. i just found it. i taught myself how to look for it. i figured - listen, i’m here still, so i might as well, like, try to enjoy it. and it wasn’t overnight. it still goes away sometimes. but i love so much and so easily now. i laugh more because of it. i let myself love dogs and movies and silly things. and this love sort of … makes things better. because it reflects off of everything into you. like a mirror.

at sixteen… at sixteen i was very suicidal. i didn’t know that it applied to me, because i thought i was just annoying and lazy. looking back now i always pull a face at how obvious it was, and how close i got to walking myself into a grave. it was more than a close call. death, like, waved. i actually believed i wouldn’t make it past 18. what was the point? what was the point of anything? i think if i’d told myself then, “it gets better”, i would have laughed. “maybe for you!” i would have said, “you have money and a life and you’re not like this.” but it did get better. in inches. stick around to see it. stick around to see everything wonderful that’s waiting in the wings for you. that knows your name. a fate of beautiful moments that are small and precious, like butterflies landing on fingers or snowflakes on tongues, or just sitting with a good book during the rainfall. hell, stick around to write the book, because (trust me), if you believe in your art and yourself - it can be done.

stick around most of all because what gets better is you fall in love with yourself. the world doesn’t become suddenly sickeningly sweet, even if the people around you become better and you’re given more opportunity. that’s wonderful too but… what happens is that over time, the stuff they told you stops sticking. you realize that just because your nose is crooked it doesn’t even matter because it doesn’t stop you from being the best dang ping pong player in your family. you realize you have a family, even if they’re not blood. you realize you are your own family. and you learn to take care of yourself and yes, it gets ugly at times, but you manage. and inside of managing there’s all these wonderful successes like mac and cheese and getting the bills done and the smell of clean laundry and friends that make you laugh so hard you almost pee and an apartment with plants in every corner and a hairless cat in sweaters or a dog with a bowtie or both and watching movies and reading books and seeing art, all of which haven’t been created yet, and possibly you’re the one who makes them. and managing … managing doesn’t have to be big. sometimes it’s just making a small difference. and sometimes the person you make a difference to is yourself. and that’s amazing.

stick around because, trust me, somewhere in there, you meet your younger self in your dreams and you tell her - oh gosh, i promise, it’s worth waiting, buddy.

On June 10th, Hajime wakes to a warm weight on his chest, and to a familiar scent all around him. It’s calm, and more comforting than Hajime would ever have imagined - it takes him a moment to orient himself, to place this moment in the context of here and now.

“Iwa-chan,” Tooru mumbles, pressing closer, exhaling against Hajime’s chest.

Ah, yes.

He becomes aware of the fact that they’re both naked, skin against skin, and immediately feels himself blushing, even as he reflexively tightens his grip to bring Tooru in closer. It’s an instinct, at this point, and waking up like this is routine, even though every morning still feels special. Exciting.

“Hey,” he whispers back, and he can’t even pretend to hide the soft happiness in his voice. He squeezes his arms around Tooru, presses his lips to his hair, and feels his heart soar as Tooru nuzzles into him with a contented sigh.

“…happy birthday,” he says, breath tickling Hajime’s neck.

“Ah,” Hajime says, brain slowly catching up. “…thank you.”

Don’t plan anything for Saturday, Iwa-chan! You’re mine for the entire day, deal with it!

Like there’s any present he’d rather get than an entire day with Tooru.

Well. He’s sure Tooru knows that, anyway. And there’s no use asking what he’s got planned, because Tooru is big on surprises.

“You know,” Tooru whispers, lifting his head just a tiny bit so he can gaze at Hajime, “this is… I used to dream about this. Waking up with you.”

Hajime lets out a tiny chuckle, joy bubbling up inside him.


“Mmh. But this is…” he hesitates, smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. Then, after a moment’s pause, he cranes his neck and leans up. Hajime lifts a hand, cupping the back of his head as he pulls him closer and brings their lips together. It’s soft, lazy - even so, he can’t help but be reminded of the night before, when their kisses had been much more hurried and desperate. He really gets everything.

Tooru hums into his mouth, parting their lips.

“Hm - this is better,” Tooru finishes. “So much better.”

“…yeah? Sure I can live up to your standards…?” Hajime whispers.

Tooru scoffs, leaning in to kiss him again. “You’re already surpassing every- every fantasy, Hajime.”

“…fantasies, huh?” Hajime says with a smirk. “Really?”

Tooru has the decency to blush, just a little. “…’course,” he mumbles. “I’ve always been- you know. Thinking about you.”

The admission sparks definite interest in Hajime’s gut, sharp enough to break through the soft haze that waking up with Tooru always has him in. It’s unfair, really, that Tooru always has him wrapped around his finger that way, even after years of being together.


And of course Tooru hears the new roughness in his voice, then. Hajime can hear him smile, even as he rolls his hips down against Hajime’s, making him gasp.

“Mhm. Thinking about how it’d feel if- if you kissed me, touched me.”

“…about all the things I wanna do to you,” Tooru says.

Hajime knows when the time for arguing has passed - Tooru’s fingers are brushing lower, feather-light and warm, and he shudders at the touch.

“…don’t- don’t we have places to be…?” he asks, a last attempt at keeping them on whatever schedule Tooru has planned out for them - but even as he asks this, his fingers are already digging into Tooru’s skin, nails leaving small half-moon prints in their wake.

“Later,” Tooru tells him, into the tiny space between their lips. “Planned for this, too, of course.”

Hajime lets out a laugh, brief and elated.

“Of course,” he echoes, tugging Tooru closer, one hand finding its way into his hair.

“Mhm. Let me take care of you.”

And really, who is Hajime to decline?

anonymous asked:

Could you do more of the Kirishima dating Bakugo's little sister fucj please. His stress and Bakugo being so extra gives me life X'D

Ask and you shall recieve, dearest nonnie!!!

Honestly, Izuku wasn’t in the slightest bit surprised that news of Kirishima’s… dilemma… moved so fast. But when he got a plethora of texts from the group chat Iida had set up for himself, Izuku, Uraraka, and eventually Todoroki and Yaoyoruzu, he had to wonder how it had gotten around so fast. They hadn’t even gone back to school yet.

For once in his life, though, he ignored every single text.

He forgot, sometimes, that class 1-A wasn’t all one large group of childhood friends. He forgot that there were some things he took for granted, especially with Kacchan, that the others didn’t know. Y/N was one of those things.

He imagined that Kacchan’s unfortunate cursing habit was to blame for that, though. When someone would teasingly ask him who he was texting on dorm movie nights, he would, without fail, respond with “a little shit who won’t leave me the fuck alone.” To Izuku, this automatically translated to “Y/N, who misses me and is trying to get me to visit even though it’s dangerous for her to be around me,” and Izuku had never thought about the fact that the others didn’t speak “Kacchan” as fluently as he did.

When your name popped up on his phone screen, he picked up without a second thought. “Y/N?”

“Izu-kuuun, I think Mom blackmailed my brother, he was acting weird all night last night! What do I do?”

He couldn’t help a nervous laugh. “Uh, what do you mean by ‘weird?’ Kacchan never acts weirdly.”

All he really wanted to do was stay out of this particular problem. Villains, he could handle any day. He’d almost (almost, but not quite) prefer to relive some of his worst villain experiences back to back over butting into this particular situation. And yet, here he was: friends with you and friends with Kirishima, and… whatever they’d always been (friends? enemies? rivals?) with Kacchan. He didn’t want to take sides or give away information he was supposed to keep secret, and it was all making his head spin. He wouldn’t give up all his new friends for anything, but things had admittedly been a lot simpler when his friend group had comprised of you and possibly your brother.

“He was like, polite. It was weird. But the weirdest part was that he didn’t curse all night. He said stupid once and then he fucking apologized! Izu-kun, what could she have on him that would make him like this?” You sounded legitimately concerned for your brother.

It was all Izuku could do to stop himself from laughing hysterically because Kacchan was the person in the least amount of trouble at the moment. “That… that is pretty weird. Have you talked to him? It’s not like Kacchan to let himself be blackmailed.”

Of course he knew what was going on, there was no way for him not to. He just had no idea how to get involved in a way that would keep Kacchan from exploding, literally.

“Do you honestly think talking to him would help at all?” You scoffed and he could see your disbelief in his mind’s eye. “I wouldn’t be asking you if I did.”

Izuku hesitated. “Maybe talk to your mom? Or Kirishima-k– san. They might know something, if you don’t want to talk to Kacchan.”

“Oooh, that’s a good idea, thanks Izu-kun! Eijirou might know something I don’t.” You hung up before he had a chance to answer.

He doesn’t hear anything more until he gets to school. Kacchan is skulking (and yes, that’s definitely the right word; he has a downright murderous aura around him right now) by the gate, tapping out a message on his phone.

Izuku does his very best to slip by unnoticed, but he also knows better than to think he can get past Kacchan when he’s like this.

“Hey! I gotta talk to you.” He’s hardly being polite, but it’s still not angry enough to make Izuku comfortable. Angry Kacchan is manageable. Civil Kacchan is… scary.

Fortunately, the bell rings for homeroom right at that moment. Izuku keeps walking, doing his best to look like he’s not brushing Kacchan off, though that’s exactly what he wants to do at the moment.

“Y-yeah? What’s up?”

Kacchan easily keeps pace with him. “I know you’re friends with Y/N. Has she talked to you about what happened this weekend?”

The fact that he addresses you by name would be enough to convince Izuku that he’s screwed, even without the telltale twitch in his left eye when he grins. I have nothing to do with this, either, he laments silently.

Izuku gulps. “She told me a little bit. I was really surprised.”

“Hmmm? Surprised? But you two are so close, I’m sure she tells you everything.” Izuku recognizes that smile now; it’s like some demented, hell version of his own. “But I guess I believe you. You’d never lie to me, right Izuku?”

Wow, Izuku really needs to pee all of the sudden.

Luckily, that’s when they reach class, and Kacchan can’t do anything that terrifying while they’re sitting safely behind desks. Kirishima pokes his head in cautiously, seeming to scan the room for an empty seat.

There’s one next to Izuku, who hastily covers it with his backpack. He feels sorry for his friend, but the last time Kacchan was like this, well… there weren’t really words for the terror involved.

Kacchan waves Kirishima down and gestures to the seat next to him, smiling. The blood drains from poor Kirishima’s face. Izuku doesn’t blame him; he knows exactly what Kirishima (and, to some extent, he himself) is in for when they get to the second part of the day that’s reserved solely for hero training.

It’s Mina that approaches Izuku first, during lunch. No one else seems to know how to approach the topic of Kacchan’s increasingly terrifying behavior. Even Aizawa-sensei had seemed a bit put off, losing his teaching rhythm a few times.

But Mina walks right up to the lunch table he shares with Uraraka, Iida, Todoroki, and Yaomomo.

“Deku, what the fuck?”

Izuku shrinks down in his seat. “Why does everyone think I’m the one with all the answers here?”

He knows why. That was a dumb question, and everyone at the table knows it, so none of them address it. He sighs and gives in to the stares he’s getting from too many people. “Yes, Kacchan has a little sister. Yes, Y/N is Kirishima’s boyfriend. No, I didn’t know. Yes, Kacchan is acting like this because he’s angry. Yes, I’ve seen this before. Did I miss anything?”

Mina rolls her eyes. “Only the most obvious thing. This isn’t like you, Deku, you know what I’m asking. How do we stop it?”

He shrugs helplessly because as far as he knows, they can’t. The last time this happened, he was seven. He has no idea how to help them now.

anonymous asked:

So I am super in awe of your ability to write so much, let alone so well. Do you have any tips for getting into a writing habit? / How do you keep yourself accountable for updating and the like?


In the past I’ve generally said it’s not a good idea to learn how to write as much as I write, because being this prolific is usually a sign that something else isn’t going so great in your life BUT ACTUALLY I do have some tips lol.

Feel free to ignore them. These will not apply to everyone, and you are not doing anything wrong if you’re not already doing them or just plain don’t like them. <3 Being a great writer has never been predicated on writing every day, and that’s the plain and simple truth.

But here’s how I do it:

* I have a monthly wordcount. It used to be daily, but this didn’t work because I have chronic illnesses that sometimes make it impossible for me to write several days in a row. My monthly wordcount is 25,000 words per month. Last year, and for the years previous, it was 50,000 words a month. Yes, I did a NaNoWriMo every month for three years. Do I recommend this to others? No.

* I don’t add up my words per day, I add them up per chapter. That’s satisfying for me. But it also makes me feel accountable re: my writing in that, I can’t make 25,000 words if I work on like….fifteen different chapters and don’t finish any. So I have to finish chapters. That’s the rule.

* Plot out my stories or my big stories for the year. I like to know where my output is going. I know I want to be putting a certain amount of words into four different projects. There’s room for movement. But I stay accountable because I know what I’m meant to be working on.

* Er, guilt. Never underestimate the power of guilt when you think ‘shit I haven’t posted a chapter in a while :/ :/ :/‘ this is apparently something that makes me write things. It’s not healthy, lol. I mean it’s not terrible? I care about the people who read my stories and I want them to enjoy what I’m doing, and that’s like…pretty normal if you’re creatively minded and want to share that kind of stuff with people. But guilt can be pretty crushing, I don’t recommend it.

* I’m meant to take five days off for every 25k I write. I play hooky with this all the time, especially if I feel guilty about not posting enough (I am currently resisting taking a break right now lol). But anyway, scheduling breaks is important. I have other things I love! I want to do those things too.

As for tips re: how to get into a writing habit. My advice for that is actually different to what I do now. Writing is like…flexing a mental muscle. I might be at a level where I’m powerhousing in the gym every day, I’m not going to tell everyone else to do the writing equivalent of two hundred sit ups if they can only manage three.

So here’s some advice on how to get into a writing habit:

* 100 words a day, over 100 days. Or 50 words a day, over 50 days. This is great. This is great for writers who have forgotten to write, this is great for newbie writers, it’s great for people who want to write and don’t know how.

Here’s the thing, you write 50 words a day for 50 days, you have a nice little hashtag/goalpost if you want them. It’s doable for most people. Also if you’re having a good day, chances are you’ll write a lot more than 50 words. You can alter this if you’re disabled or have different needs. Maybe it’s just 50 words a day on weekdays, or 100 words a day on weekends. Or 50 words a day when you have spoons.

That’s about flexing your writing muscles when they are little and need some stretching. You learn how to do the push ups before you do even one, let alone a hundred, and exercises like this are great, even if you totally abandon them later on, because you can trust in your output.

* Like to get in the deep end? NaNoWriMo. Supportive communities, accountability in general, and a sense that you’re not alone and everyone is struggling like you are, lol. Except for that one person who is done in three days. Ignore them.

* Consider writing some stuff that you can finish. A lot of people want to write a novel, but it will be fun to write some poetry, short stories, drabbles, novellas etc. that you can finish faster, and get a sense of accomplishment for. Writing can be very lonely, and it can lack validation, so it helps to build in a sense of achievement and accomplishment. Some writers do it through wordcount, but honestly, finishing things is pretty amazing. Even if you don’t like it, if you finished it, that’s awesome.

* Look up some writing blogs and websites. Get overwhelmed. Feel like you’re doing everything wrong. Then take a deep breath and sigh out every shitty thing you read and remember the two or three things you were really excited about trying. Try them. Ignore everything else.

* Consider prompt communities. They can be amazeballs. 

* If you’re someone who likes accountability, and are in fandoms big enough for this, consider signing up to Big Bangs and Exchanges. These can be very stressful for people so obviously YMMV (I don’t do these myself), but what they provide is a sense of community (this is important) and they provide deadlines. Doesn’t mean everyone always sticks to them, but it can be quite motivational. Especially if there are Tumblrs / DW sites etc. associated with the Exchange where you can see others struggling as well.

* Take breaks. And don’t just take breaks when you’re burnt out (I learned this the hard way). Take them when you’re inspired. This last bit is something I have always struggled with. I have always grown up believing that if you feel motivated and inspired to write, then goddamn it, you should write!!! But over the years I’ve come to realise that sometimes you should let that energy stir excitedly inside of you and not write. And that will be when you rejuvenate yourself, and come up with new ideas.

* Try writing when you don’t particularly feel like it, but have the time. Sit there and say to yourself: ‘I’m going to try to do this, just one or two sentences, and if inspiration visits me, then cool, and if it doesn’t, then cool.’ This strengthens the writing muscle of cultivating inspiration by doing the work. No one generally likes strengthening this muscle, because it requires the most self-discipline. It’s the one that will pay off the most in the future. At least you’ll get a couple of sentences out of it. But if you really want to write more, sometimes you have to sort of…do that part of the exercise that is less fun but means you’ll have more capacity to create inspiration in yourself in the future. <3

* Ignore any writing advice that pulls you down or makes you feel like ‘I can’t do that, it’s too exhausting/draining/no one can do that.’ Including anything here. As with going to the gym, anything that taxes you too much straight away is not good for you or healthy. Start in a way that works for you, and be prepared to stretch yourself, but again, in a way that works for you. If you find yourself going gung ho into writing exercises and then losing all motivation for months afterwards, chances are, you went too hard, too fast. You did the equivalent of ‘going to the gym every night for a week after never having gone before, and then finding the experience so offputting you hate the gym.’

And if you go too gung ho into things and stop for months, give yourself permission to just start again, instead of telling yourself you’re a bad or lazy writer. I promise you, that you are neither of those things. (I don’t mean you specifically OP, I mean anyone reading this). Learning how to write is like…it’s hard to do, and we each have a unique formula for ourselves that takes time to work out. It’s only natural that we will find ways that don’t work for us more often than we find ways that do. Give yourself permission to give up on things, abandon exercises and stories, because as soon as you clear away that space, you’ll have more energy to try things in the future. <3

anonymous asked:

Hello! I'm new and I've never asked anything so I'm Sorry if I'm doing this wrong (you can totally delete that, don't worry :) Could you write about the blue haired boy and "How come I always end up calling you when I can't fall asleep?" Thank you, I love your blog!

Thank youuuu! I’m so happy that you do :) 

A sudden loud and very annoying noise echoes throughout your room jolting you out of your peaceful sleep. You just finished a 14 hour shift and finally got to sleep for two hours. Your eyes are red and they sting slightly. They’re heavy and they don’t want to comply with your will to keep them open. Your phone rings repeatedly, as you struggle to snap out of your sleepy state enough to reach over to your nightstand and see who’s calling. When you finally do, you see that it’s Stuart facetiming you,  and you muster a lazy smile, always happy and willing to talk to him no matter what time of night.

When you pick up the phone, you see him through your screen. He’s leaning against his headboard not wearing a shirt,  he has dark circles under both large black eyes, making them look even bigger than they are. He looks exhausted though. His blue hair is a mess and he’s paler than usual.  Nevertheless, Stuart gives you a genuine smile, happy that you picked up the phone.

You greet him with a groggy “Hello?”

“Ah shit, I caught ya sleepin again, yeah?” He begins to say before offering to hang up and let you sleep.

“Yeah, no it’s totally fine, Stu. What’s up? How was your day?” You ask, genuinely interested. You loved talking to your best friend, your partner in crime.. You’ve missed him lately, not being able to see him because of your job and his schedule with him either touring or being locked up in the studio by Murdoc, practicing with the band.

So you two begin exchanging stories about your day. His day didn’t go very well. He’s been attacked by horrible migraines throughout the day while he was expected to practice with the band. He tried to push through it but he blacked out because of the pain while the band played Kids With Guns. You complained to him about your rude customers, venting about how terrible it is working in a restaurant, even if you are the manager of the establishment. You two cracked jokes to make fun of your customers and Murdoc to lift your spirits up. You for the most part enjoy insulting the pickle-man for giving the person you love so much trouble while he was in pain, and he loved insulting the rude customers that gave you a hard time.

After coming down from both of your giggle fits, you sigh,  “I missed you, D.”  

“I miss you too, love. More than you could imagine. It’s been so…hectic around here, wiv the new album comin out and all. I just hope my head gets better before we start touring… “

“How are the new pills working out for you?”

“Not very well considering I had ta call you…Couldn’t fall asleep.” he chuckles,

“So this time you called me because your pills weren’t working? Last week it was because you were freaking out over the fact that eels didn’t have arms…” You laughed. ( SO I SAW A MEME AND THIS IS BASED OFF THE MEME AND I CANT FIND IT ANYMORE) 

“I… dunno actually… There’s just something about you, love… . How come I always end up calling you when I can’t fall asleep?” He smiles.

You don’t know why, but this sent a sharp pang of electricity through your stomach. It was a good pang, a nice feeling. You try to cover up the fact that you’re blushing but he notices and giggles.

“You know I love you right?” He proclaims shyly while also turning slightly red. 

This is the first time he’s ever actually said it, both of you being in different beds, him wearing nothing but pajama pants and you with tangled hair and eye crusties. Regardless of the situation, it was the most romantic thing that’s ever really happened to you. Someone who doesn’t get to see you every day, someone who genuinely enjoys talking to you, someone who you’ve considered your best friend and your lover for a while, proclaimed their love for you at 2 AM through facetime. And you couldn’t be happier.

“I love you too, Stu.”

anonymous asked:

ooooo. What does derek daydream exactly??? I'm leaning towards romantic daydreams...

Oh man, I think whatever daydreams Derek had of Stiles would be romantic even if the situation itself wasn’t normally seen as “romantic” in day to day life, but because it’s Stiles, it is.

Like Derek and Stiles having breakfast and talking about inane things while Derek read the newspaper and Stiles read a book for one of his classes.

Or Stiles and Derek on the couch watching TV, Stiles’ feet in Derek’s lap, and Derek just holding onto his feet, reveling in that closeness, that intimacy.

Or Stiles and Derek in bed, looking at each other, and Derek imagining Stiles laughing at something Derek says, eyes crinkling as he threw his head back in his laughter, and Derek would stare at Stiles’ mouth, at his eyes, at his lips that looked so soft that Derek wanted to kiss them, at Stiles’ beautiful eyes that Derek felt he could just get lost in forever.

Or Derek getting dressed one morning to go to work and Stiles is still in bed surfing the web on his laptop or he opted not to use his laptop and is reading a book, glasses perched on his nose, and they talk about what they’re going to do that day, Stiles mumbling how he has to go to the store ‘cause they were out of his favorite cereal, and does Derek need anything? And Derek going over and leaning down to give him a quick kiss goodbye, and he’d pull away smiling down at Stiles, who would look up and grin back at him, and Derek would carry that image into the rest of his day.

And Derek would sometimes have hot, crazy, seriously NSFW daydreams about Stiles too, of course, and then he would be aroused from imagining getting it on with Stiles between the sheets and have to take some…ahem, alone time.

And he’d also have the way romantic daydreams, like taking Stiles on a date, and imagining the dinner, where they are engaged in conversation the whole time, where they’re smiling shyly at each other, blushing, holding hands across the table. And then after taking a walk in the park where they just…talk and talk for hours. Or maybe Derek would imagine their date being them going on a picnic and feeding each other food, and then it turning into a food fight, them laughing and kissing the whole time.

Or maybe he’d imagine a date at his house, candles lit, nice food on table, it leading to them making love in his bedroom, Derek imagining Stiles gasping his name into his ear, fingers carding softly through his hair and then holding on.

Or he’d imagine them wrapped up in bed, legs tangled together, spooning each other, keeping each other warm and safe, content, not wanting to let go of each other in sleep.

Or he’d just imaging a lazy Saturday morning, and Stiles getting up from breakfast to wander over to where Derek’s doing the dishes and giving him a kiss on the cheek and a simple yet powerful “I love you” and Derek saying it back. Or them saying I love you during sex, or them saying I love you for the first time, and them both being shocked and then crashing together in a kiss.

Or maybe he’d imagine their first “I love you’s” in the rain, after a fight, and then they’d kiss in the rain and Derek would lower Stiles to his car, and they wouldn’t give two shits about the rain.

And maybe he’d imagine proposing to Stiles and Stiles saying yes. And also maybe he’d imagine Stiles proposing to him and saying yes.

And then he’d imagine their wedding and all the ways it could go.

And then them having children, and he’s imagine them looking like Stiles and thinking they were beautiful.

And then he’d imagine the boring, everyday kind of day with Stiles and their family, and craving it like crazy when he came out of that daydream.

And then he’d imagine them having forever together and his chest would ache with the wanting of that life with Stiles. Just Stiles.

And then he’d open his eyes and the daydreams would be gone, and he’d be alone in his apartment, not with Stiles, alone, and curse himself and his stupid, cheesy fantasies.

But then he and Stiles would get together.

And Stiles actually steals Derek’s food off his plate any chance he gets unless he hates what Derek is eating.

And then on the couch he’d sometimes kick Derek in the side when he moves to get more comfortable.

And in bed Stiles would snort unattractively after they stare at each for too long and say something crude to ruin the moment.

And when Derek is getting ready for work in the morning Stiles is still out, spread across the bed once Derek left it, drooling and murmuring stupid things in his sleep.

And the sex would be just as good as he imagined, but in a different way. Because one time Stiles falls asleep before Derek can finish - and they have a pretty awkward go of things after that until they figure it all out, and one time Derek kicks Stiles in the shin and Stiles ends up limping afterward for entirely, non sexy reasons. And one time they bonk heads, and one time Stiles slips off the bed in his enthusiasm. And one time it’s just plain awkward. But even then, with all that, it would still be good. Stiles was still the best Derek had ever had, and he still craved Stiles all the time, desired him, wanted him. Even if it wasn’t perfect every single time.

And on their dates they would usually argue at some point, and Stiles would reach over and flick Derek on the head and Derek would flick him right back. And that picnic date? Ants would get onto the blanket and ruin the mood, and they would get in a food fight because of a fight, although they would end up kissing and laughing in the end anyway….and then curse as they tried to get the ants off them and their food.

And Stiles would end up knocking the candle over at their dinner date at Derek’s house, and Stiles would end up screaming as Derek ran to get the fire extinguisher. Derek would end up having to get a completely new table. But they’d still make love afterwards, and he it would be amazing, the stupid dinner completely forgotten.

And they’d still stay wrapped up in each other in bed, spooned together, except Stiles would end up kicking Derek in his sleep and Derek would end up rolling over, but then Stiles would steal all the blankets and then they’d fight over them, but then just end up wrapped up in each other again anyway.

And they would have those lazy Saturday mornings with exchanges of “I love you’s”….between those days when they’d get in a screaming match and Stiles would storm out, but not before yelling, “Love you, asshole!” and Derek yelling back, “Love you, too, asswipe!” and in between Derek leaving and Stiles lazing on the couch and burping out “Love you, dude” as Derek left, and in between Stiles taking Derek’s face and planting an over the top kiss on his lips and grinning as he says “love ya, boo” and in between Stiles fluttering his eyelashes when they’re with friends and simpering out “love you, sweetie pie” and laughing as Derek shoved his face away.

And their first “I love you” would be during a fight in the rain, yes, but they’d end up pressed against a wall and it would be cold and hard and wet, and Stiles and Derek would start shivering, and the rain wouldn’t let itself be forgotten. But then they’d have to end up cuddling for warmth in Derek’s apartment…naked. So it would all work out.

And then sometimes between all that, Stiles would come up to Derek while he’s reading and planting a kiss on his cheek and murmur an “I love you” sweetly into his ear, and Derek would murmur it back, turning his head to get a kiss from the love his life. And Stiles would sometimes say it during sex, looking up into Derek’s eyes seriously, or Derek would say it first, and then they’d kiss slowly, sensually and continue on, wrapped up in each other in every sense of the word.

And Stiles would propose, except he’d just say it one day, when Derek is cursing over the computer, and Stiles would be looking at Derek adoringly and just…ask Derek to marry him. And Derek would smile, put the computer aside and ask Stiles if he was serious, and Stiles would snort, smirking as he said that he’d never been more serious about anything in his entire life, and then Derek would give a simple, easy, “yes,” not having to even think about it. It just was.

And then they would get married, and it would be almost exactly like Derek imagined it, except Stiles would end up dancing goofily with Scott on the dance floor and try to get Derek to dance like that, and Derek would adamantly refuse, even promising to make it up to Stiles later that night if he didn’t make Derek dance like that. The only dancing Derek could stand was slow dancing with Stiles for their first dance, and all their other dances. And maybeee he’d dance goofily with Stiles in the privacy of their own home where no one but Stiles could see. Because Stiles would be the only one he’s comfortable with seeing him act like that.

And then they would get children, and one would look like Derek, the other like Stiles, and they would love them with all their hearts, and Stiles would whisper that he was happy that he got to have a life with Derek, because he was who he would choose over and over again, everyday. Just Derek.

And they would have those boring, ordinary days, all domestic like - wake up the kids, get them ready, make breakfast, make their lunches, send them off to school, go to work, pick up the kids, make dinner, have some down time, let the kids play or watch tv, then put the kids to bed, and then have sex - which they had gotten excellent at after years of being together - or if they weren’t in the mood, just read, laying next to each other, twining their fingers together as they enjoyed the quiet before finally going to bed. And it would feel wonderful to Derek, he would love every minute of it, even when they fought and had hard times and had the kids yelling “I hate you!” at one or both of them and slamming doors in their faces.

And they would have forever, everyday for the rest of their lives, with each other, and Derek would open his eyes one day, look over and see that it was real, Stiles was there, laying next to him, smiling in his sleep, gold band around his left ring finger, which neither of them took off, ever.

And it wouldn’t be perfect like he daydreamed, but that would just make it all the better. Because it would never get boring. Because they would have arguments, they’d make each other angry, they’d have all kinds of sex - awkward sex, not as good as usual sex, rough sex, hot sex, angry sex, passionate sex, slow making love sex, mind-blowing sex, just-a-quicky sex, too-tired-for-sex hand jobs - and they’d want their alone time, away from each other sometimes, and Stiles would have a night out with Scott and Derek might have a night out with Erica to just get the fuck away from each other.

But Derek would figure, as long as he could look at Stiles and feel that amazing, life-altering, life changing love that he’s always felt, than they’ll be okay, and as long as he can look at Stiles and trust him and want to communicate with him and feel the urge to keep trying, every single fucking day, then they’d be okay.

And Derek would think, even when it was hard, if he could still be as in love with Stiles as he was ten, twenty, thirty years ago, then they’d be okay.

And Derek would look over at Stiles sometimes and just remember that he couldn’t imagine his life without Stiles in it, that he didn’t want to live without Stiles, that he’d chosen Stiles, because he was head over heels in love with this man by his side, faults and all, with all their imperfectness, and that Stiles was, simply put, the love of his life.

And Derek would think that his real life with Stiles was better than any daydream, than any fantasy, and he’d rather have real life than a fantasy. And he got to have those little moments, those happy moments, those moments when Stiles would look at Derek and he could see the love Stiles felt for him in return, and he got to feel his heart beating in his chest and his breath hitch at the way Stiles looked at him sometimes.

And Derek would open his eyes and see that he wasn’t alone in a big empty apartment. And he would feel that relief and happiness he felt everyday at the realization that he wasn’t alone anymore, that he loved and was loved by many. He was living his life.

And that was all he really needed.

prince!akaashi and knight!bokuto bokuaka headcanons that are absolutely 100% @librebananr‘s fault because of her gorgeous art here and her headcanons here

part 1 | part two to be added   

  • The saying Bokuto Koutarou grew up with was “If the Bokutos could have been born poorer, they would have been" and it was always met with a round of uproarious laughter that makes his heart sink. He finds no amusement in his starvation, the withering away of his mother and father as they work and work and work. How his siblings are constantly filthy, constantly sallow and horribly thin, constantly just one step away from doing something desperate. Something ravenous.
  • It wasn’t always this way. Once the house of Bokuto was noble. Riches and property and a good name– It was all lost because of some long lost ancestor, who drank and gambled away their riches. Leaving the family with nothing.
  • Still, this story of once-had glory gives Koutarou hope. He convinces himself that if honor and power can be lost, then surely it can be won too. And he’ll be damned if he doesn’t find a way to do it.
  • Koutarou and his family now works in the home that should have been his. An ornate, decorative mansion just next to the royal palace. The proximity alone means Koutarou is a frequent at the royal palace– and attends all of the royal ceremonies common people are allowed in.
  • He’s eight years old when he first sees the prince and his whole life changes forever

Keep reading

title: honeysuckle lazy
ship: liam payne/zayn malik
warnings/tags: alpha/beta/omega dynamics, bottom!zayn, sexual content, language
summary: there’s the trouble of liam being away from kiya for the first time, to zayn not planning a successful night out (until he does), and then on top of that, there’s the fact that there’s some stuff that neither of them had intended on admitting. but either way, it’s for the good of their relationship; really, it is.
notes: i’m finally fulfilling this request, lol. this is full of fluff, ziam as parents, and zayn showing liam that he doesn’t have to be an alpha in order to fuck him. this is also the fourth part to vanilla sweet, always love, and sugar rush. (and i should probably add how this is a mildly unrealistic depiction of sex, but this is an a/b/o universe, and that’s already impractical, so).

Keep reading

Super Junior 7jib MAMACITA Thanks To
  • Leeteuk: I wanted to become happy.. I always have been looking for the key to happiness. Now, I think I have found that key to happiness. Being able to wake up in the morning, meet people I want to meet, and laugh together and cry together.... Beloved family... Beloved members.. Beloved all family members of SM.. Beloved fans... I now realized that everything I've always felt is the key to happiness. I want to feel this happiness with everyone. Thank you, and thank you again; I love you, and I love you.. I hope everyone reading this post will be full of happiness and love.. I love you..!!
  • Heechul: This is an album after 3 years for me. I want to try being a bit serious in the Thanks To this time. It's already been 10 years since we debut.
  • There probably are people who are new to loving me, but I'm sure there are fans who've been loving me for 10 years now. I think about it whenever I'm zoning out in the car, or whenever I'm going to sleep..
  • What 'fans' are..
  • I don't have much of 'fan love' (t/n in other words, fan service), I am not nice, so why do people give love to someone like me, who, in some way, is like a mean 5 years old?
  • And a thought that popped in my head was to not to look for the reason, and to express myself some too. Play (together) like we are eternal friends.
  • And that made me look hard at fans' faces like I'll put a hole on their face. Because of my prosopagnosia, my level of memory with faces are at same level as a fish but
  • I tried to memorize each and everyone but!!! as expected, I couldn't do it well kkkkkkkkkk ah sorry kkkkkkkkkkkkk I can't help this kkkkkkkkkkkkk but still, I read the letters, and try to remember their faces. Lastly, my beloved babies. Hyung will speak informally now. We will grow old someday and get married too. I hope you will come to Super Show in future with your babies. Then I would get emotional and really touched. Let's picture 'eternity' like that together, and be together for a long long time ^~^
  • I hope that you guys will meet good people (partners) and will live happily. You guys have to get married quickly so I feel less sorry when I get married too kk
  • But I have to first quit games and comic books first-ng.. Tremble tremble..
  • Anyways, I love you, my babies!!!! Ppo Ppo kiss~ ^3^
  • Kangin: I realized too late that I am thankful for just being able to be together. I think I know a bit now.. That I was a greedy man who only received. I will now be the one giving. And my beloved family members, let's live happily. I really love you. Grandmother who is watching me from heaven.. There are many promises I made with you that I couldn't keep; I'll live with them in my heart. Grandmother, do not worry about anything there and rest peacefully. And our fan ELF!! Oppas will protect you.
  • Shindong: I am now repeating the process of writing and erasing. I really don't know how to express this good feeling and thankful thoughts. Really. I will just!! Show it on the stage!! Everyone, sorry for being unable to express myself. Yes, that's true. The people that have the hardest time while producing this album are the song writer, lyrics writer, singer, producer, choreographer, manager, stylist, photographer, etc.. there are countless people but!! You guys, who anticipate and listen, have to be there (for that to happen) so, sigh.. I think I was living with a really big delusion. How to say.. 'I'm always showing you guys this really cool look of me, and the funny side of me! so you guys have to always anticipate and wait for me..' Why did I think that way... Anyways thank you. I think this is the first time I wrote my true feelings on 'Thanks To', without calculating (what to say). Sorry, and sorry again. From now on, I will only write real 'Thanks To' on 'Thanks To's... Thank you, everlasting friends~
  • Sungmin: An album to beloved ELF. Thank you for always being with me. You are my precious, everlasting, closest friend.
  • Eunhyuk: Firstly, thanks to our fans for waiting for this album for a long time. During past 2 years, I've experienced many events. I was shaken, was very exhausted, received many scars, and for the first time, I thought about giving up. I remembered the young days when I first I dreamed of becoming a singer, the days when I was a trainee, and the days since I met Super Junior. Looking back at those days, I gave compliments to myself, and reflected on a lot of things too. And I imagined a bit about the future. In the end, I gained conviction for things I wanted to do, and things I have to do, and what allowed me to have that strength were fans who always stood by my side and loved me without changing, and Super Junior members. I think it's not easy for a person to go back to 'their first mindset'. So with a new mindset, I plan to enjoy the promotions this time. I hope you continue to cheer without any reserves for the road I will take from now on. I will repay to everyone with mindset that does not change, and with changing images(appearance/side). Thank you.
  • Donghae: Dear Father/ Last time I saw you was around 2006 8/8 Tuesday 3AM, but it's already 2014 8/21 Thursday. A lot of time has passed, right? ^^ Like the time that's passed, the environment around, many people, thoughts, and appearance has changed a lot. Some changed for the better, some not. But I am always working hard so that my core that I am holding on, does not change a lot. Because you, father, are in that core too. You'd be disappointed if I changed to (not good/bad), so I am working hard to (not change) ^^ then you can compliment me when I meet you again. I'm still young, and I'm still the son that wants to receive compliments from father. But it's been a really long time since I've been unable to hear those compliments. Soon, I will perform 100th concert performance; It would have been nice if father could have watched at least one of those 100 performances. It's sad. I'm really thankful to be able to do a job that I love, be loved while doing that job, that there are people who cry, laugh, and be happy because of me-though, what am I (for them to feel that way for me)-, and that there are people who have dreams while watching me. I'm very thankful that those people exist, and I am thankful about everything, that I can feel that I am living a life that I am more thankful of. Complains, not being satisfied, being lazy... Looking back now, I can see that everything- even things that I didn't feel good about- are thankful things. What I am most thankful about is that I am your son. It's a letter to you after a long time. 2014 8/21 Thursday 7:04PM, after 2 years... Let's talk again when another album comes out in future ^^ I love you, dad.
  • Dear Mom, Hyung, HyunGyum / Mom, don't get sick. When you are sick, I feel even more hurt. There are many things I wasn't able to feel when I wasn't able to live with you when I was young, and now, living together, I feel them. I feel thankful from small things like being able to be together, being able to see you, and being able to touch you. When you look at me and smile, when you- who looked big when I was young- now look smaller than me, when you- who walked really fast- walk slower than me, and when I felt that you- who looked strong and powerful- have become weaker than me, and is depending on me, tears come to my eyes. Just don't get sick. I love you mom^^ Beloved hyung, you are very tired, exhausted, and bored these days right? But I am happy and full of energy because of hyung. I think a lot about how I can do more for you, hyung. It's not that I just want to give you something; it's more like.. I'm thankful that I have a brother, and thankful that I can share with hyung. I hope hyung enjoys it a bit more, and I hope that you will be happy. I also hope that we brothers would rely on each other more. I love you, hyung.
  • HyunGyum-ah, hyung is proud and happy that you have a dream at such a young age. I hope you will work harder, and if you don't want to get hit, listen to hyung more! hehe. Listen to mom, and sleep early.
  • Dear SJ/ There really is no need for words!! I like that we are together, I'm happy that we are together, and I'm thankful that whenever I feel tired and look back, you're standing there by my side without a word^^ There's no need for anything else, let's just do well just among ourselves^^ Suju is the best hehe. Leader Teuk-ee hyung... I will trust hyung and go! and Yesung-ee hyung... If hyung were with us, we would have shined more. I will make it so that when hyung returns, hyung's spot will shine more ^^ I love you hyung!
  • Grow your hand a bit, or I'll just have a smaller mic prepared for you ^^ (Youngjoon-ee hyung, Byungjoon-ee hyung, Junghoon-ee hyung, Yongsun-ee hyung, MinGeun-ee hyung, Siyong-ee hyung, Yongsuk-ee)
  • We are Super Juni-or! ^^ Thank you and I love you.
  • Dear ELF/ You waited a really long time right? Me too me too mee too really!! hehe finally advancing out! ELF all over the world, are you ready?? We are ready ^^
  • In short words, because ELF exists, SuJu can breathe ^^ Please continue to let us breathe ^^ I love you, love you, love you, and love you^^ Always thankful and love you ^^
  • Siwon: I feel the fast speed of time. It's already 7jib.... Thankfully, thanks to your love and support, we were able to go around the world many times, and how many times did we stand on a dream-like stage... Thinking about it all, I'm thankful. I want to say thanks to beloved ELF all over the world who cheer for us without changing. And I want to say thanks to beloved family members, beloved Lee SooMan teacher, and staffs who always work hard to help us. If you guys weren't there, we wouldn't be at this position. Thank you again.
  • Thank you everyone.. Thank you God.. Please anticipate a lot from us, who are just starting now.
  • Ryeowook: Beloved mom and dad, thank you ^^ Super Junior members, you worked hard during the time to prepare 7jib, and I love each and everyone of you♡
  • Teuk-ee hyung, I'm thankful that you are with us, though it must have been very pressuring, (to work so soon after) release from army! Hyung is really our leader~ I love you / My meal friend Heechul-ee hyung~ I'm thankful that you listen to my words well, and let's continue to live together. / I miss you.. Listen to our 7jib well~ Stay well too ^^ / Yesung-ee hyung!!!! I hope hyung's empty spot will be filled quickly.. Let's work together again quickly~ let's meet again at Han River kk / KingKing! The handsomest KingKing kk Hyung, you know that I love you a lot right? / Donggri DongDong, I love hyung's voice the most kk Let's go for a solo song in the next album! I will try directing it. / Sungmin-ee hyung~! Thank you for always comforting me by my side ^^!! Let's meet at Sukira soon kk / I'm happy that Hyukgu is becoming more and more handsome! Work harder ^^ Hyung, you know it, right? kkk / Donghai! I love you as much as I love Hyukgu kk Donghae-hyung, don't be sad~ Let's go again tonight!!! / Siwon-ee hyung, I'm sorry .. that I only like D&E kkkkk I love hyung a lot ♡ / Kibum-ah, come to the dorm~!! Let's eat^^ / Kyuhyun-ah, do you like Changmin and Minho more than me?..ㅠ I love you KyuKyu kk / Super Junior M Zhou Mi hyung!! I hope hyung will be very happy ^^ I love you hyung~♡ / Henry, take some care of Zhou Mi hyung! kk SJM maknae Henry-yah, I'm always thankful about you! / Super Junior 7jib, let's become daebak!!!! My girlfriend, E.L.F.. I'm thankful, and I love you! ♡ It's 7jib now~ Till everyone gathers in one place, Ryeowook-ee will work hard too with the name 'Super Junior'^^ I love you. Love yourself♡
  • Kyuhyun: Kyu will always be where E.L.F's are...

anonymous asked:

I never see it discussed so what did you think when Kaname made Ruka cast a spell on Yuki to see Zero shoot her? Don't yume get mad that Zero pointed a gun at her? They always use it as reason why they can't ship Zeki or to make zero seem "bad" but it's okay for Kaname to threaten yuki fight and hold a sword inches from her, belittle her and make her believe that Zero actually shot her? Isn't that one last thing worse than every thing? How does that make sense!

Oh lol, I agree completely. It doesn’t make sense because these shippers are mainly attempting to draw attention away from the real abuse that Kaname inflicted upon Yuuki.

Funny thing is, Yuuki is the first to know that Zero would never actually hurt her. Yes, he rejected her when she first awoke as a pureblood, but each knew that he believed he was letting Yuuki grow and become “strong” in her own way.

Zero was initially opposed to her transformation as his experience with turning was suffering and the hopelessness of dying in madness. But once he learned that she had always been a vampire, he let her go thinking that she was an existence apart from him.

Still, Zero couldn’t hide his ever-present care for her even when he was trying to pretend she had become a mockery to the dead.

“…Do you still feel scared?” – Zero

The last request her made to her before he let her go was an answer to a question grounded in worry and love.

And Yuuki thought on that moment later and suffered for his absence. She was alone without an outlet for her complete trust, understanding, and love for Zero Kiryuu. He took himself out of her life and placed all of his HOPE in Kaname Kuran to make her happy, even though it was Yuuki herself that told Zero to his face a few chapters prior that the one she desperately NEEDED was him.

Zero still couldn’t face the new feelings that had blossomed between them, he was too afraid and not grasping his place in this girl’s heart…

“If I could pretend I was INDISPENSABLE to you, I felt it wouldn’t MATTER if I didn’t have a past.” – Yuuki

Zero believed that the person Yuuki wanted most was Kaname [it was you, Zero, it was youuuu /shot], but his hope in Kaname was misguided in the same way Yuuki’s was [that her older brother knew what was best for her, that becoming a vampire would be enough to make her strong and happy], and Zero would come to regret letting her go, pushing her away, only so she could fall at the hands of her brother/ancestor.

He couldn’t have known what would happen down the line, it WASN’T anything that he had ever wished for her, but he would still lament not being able to protect her.

“Why did I wish for that?” – Zero

“I’ve always known that Zero has wished for my happiness. I know him so well…” – Yuuki

Zero’s wish in letting Yuuki go, confirmed by Yuuki herself [she knows him better than he knows himself], was for her happiness above all others. He wouldn’t expect anything of her and he would pray, with pure intentions, that she received all that she desired.

But Kaname was the one that subjected Yuuki to treatment that would steal her smile away. Looking past the way he lied about who he was in the first place, his reasons for making Yuuki unhappy were because her heart “screamed and cried out” for Zero while she was supposed to be his fiancee.

Kaname didn’t even think to “free” Yuuki so that she could maybe resolve her issues and actually be with someone else if she preferred.

[image credit: imaginarylights] [I’ll never get over that reunion heLP]

Instead, throughout the second arc, Kaname chose to lock her up, threatened to kill her or himself if she ever left him, belittled her as you said by openly perceiving her as weak, and punished her for getting close to Zero during 60th Night – all very abusive behavior.

“You refrained from drinking his blood, Yuuki… I commend you for that.” - Kaname Kuran [image credit: imaginarylights]

And when Kaname tried to make Yuuki think Zero betrayed her in the worst possible way, to make her think “the kindest” person she knew would’ve wanted to kill her because she was trying to capture Kaname instead of “abandoning” him – especially when we consider that it was Zero who came to genuinely wish for her to freely be with whomever she wanted while Kaname was the one that wished for her to let go of everyone else but him [Zero most of all] – I couldn’t help but see humor in the situation.

Petty, pitiful, and self-engrossed, Kaname was basically trying to portray Zero to be as bad as he was so that Yuuki would maybe have her doubts about him, believe in another illusion as she did before [which, of course, was of Kaname killing an innocent man, and funnily it didn’t take much for her to think that he would do such a thing].

Luckily, his plan backfired on him.

Yuuki KNEW Zero would never mistreat her like that.

“Zero… would NEVER BLAME me like this.” - Yuuki

I get that Kaname was trying to be seen as a “madman,” however I also see that he was trying one last time to break the attachment Yuuki had with Zero.

If that was not his reasoning, why would he want to make his “dearest” think that the one that SHE wanted to CHERISH had just killed her? Why didn’t Kaname use his own image if he wanted her to “abandon” him?

Because he was still dragging everyone along with his contrary whims, that’s why. He still wanted Yuuki to turn to him and him alone.

But Yuuki wouldn’t stop holding Zero in higher regards even while she was supposed to “belong” to Kaname – she would follow Kaname with intentions of stopping him from self-destructing, but her feelings for Zero had already begun to overflow

Really though, that was actually a great moment once I got past the graphic violence supplied by Kaname’s will over Ruka’s imagination, which she herself spoke unfavorably of [yeah, making your most important girl in the world think that she was just shot in the head– something’s definitely wrong with that].

“I’m grateful for what you did.” – Kaname to Ruka

I’m sure Yuuki’s unwavering trust in Zero was another brazen display of Zeki’s shared radiance to Kaname for further confirmation that Yuuki deserved more than being held to an obligation [as his “terrible fiancee”].

Zero and Yuuki went through so much angst on their way to embracing their love, and this post reminded me of most of it /clutches heart, but the intricacies of their affections, Yuuki’s unshakeable belief in Zero along with his innately good nature are what made the dark forest Kaname lead them into survivable.

Okay, I got a little carried away answering this, anon. I just reread your question and I could’ve said, “it’s bad, man” and have been done with it lol. But I hope you don’t mind this prolonged look upon how Yuuki reacted to both boys, why she could live for one and not the other, and why her love waxed and waned between the two.

anonymous asked:

What are your thoughts on the scene in LOT with Len talking to Sara about the future for 'me and you'? It still feels like such a weird and awkward scene for me. Especially with how cool this verison is meant to be.

Took me a while to respond to this because I wanted to actually give it the proper brain power that it’s due.

I actually enjoyed that scene, for a few reasons, not the least of which is because it was so supremely awkward. But the full effect of that line is really only understood in context of what led up to it. Len’s been opening up to Sara over the course of their entire journey up to that point, but only under the guise of helping her or as a deflection tactic.

Think of 1x05 where he tells her not to kill Martin – he’s exposing his own feelings, but he does so in such a way as to make it about her. He tells her not to kill because she doesn’t want to be a killer, without ever saying he doesn’t want her to kill Martin because he cares about his team, and because part of him hopes for redemption for himself. If Sara, the assassin, believes herself to be redeemable, maybe he can believe himself to be redeemable. That’s what you see between the lines.

But Leonard expresses his care without exposing himself. His care for Martin, and his care for Sara. The connection he feels to her, knowing what it’s like to be able to make hard choices without wanting to, knowing sometimes it’s harder to make the call not to kill (something we saw him do in The Flash 2x03, after all).

So Len was able to express without expressing, and get a lot of things across without leaving himself emotionally vulnerable. He’s much more charming when he doesn’t feel vulnerable, or when he doesn’t have to put his own feelings into words.

Then take the scene in the cargo hold in 1x10, where Sara is encouraging him to go talk to Mick, to talk about his feelings, and Leonard deflects by saying “about you?”

Originally posted by leonardsara

Which makes her pause for all of a second and before she narrows her eyes, because she sees through him, and knows that he’s really just attempting to deflect her. Which is not to say that he doesn’t have any genuine feelings about her, only that he wasn’t actually trying to start a conversation to talk about them in that particular moment. Still, the deflection was an opportunity to subtly express that yes, he’s been thinking about her, but he was able to do so at a time and in a way where it didn’t leave him feeling vulnerable (certainly not as vulnerable as talking about or to Mick would make him feel). And because he was bringing it up for disingenuous purposes, Sara was able to brush him off, but more than that, he was able to be charming and sly about it, able to protect himself and come off as smooth.

But then take 1x15, where he’s in a position that actually does make him feel vulnerable. Thinking about that scene, if Leonard was to be totally charming as he has been at times, he knows that not only would Sara see right through it, but it would come off as more disingenuous; he needs to be able to express something more real here. Because what he’s feeling is real, and he wants to acknowledge that, but that also leaves him feeling vulnerable. And if being sly and skirting around it or using it as a deflection (like in 1x10) didn’t work, he knows he’s gotta let her know that… this isn’t transient or surface for him, it’s not a tool he’s using to deflect or charm… it’s just him, and it means something that he’s feeling this.

And maybe if he felt totally confident, Leonard could have come off as charming and smooth there. But he didn’t feel confident. This isn’t a con where he can just say what he knows someone wants to hear. Leonard knew he’d have to express something real because she doesn’t put up with bullshit, but he’s not used to expressing his real emotions, not outside of life/death type situations, or not in a way that leaves him feeling exposed or gives others power over him. 

When he does express himself like that, he’s often using anger as a defense to help quell how vulnerable he feels. Or think about The Flash 2x09 where he tells Barry about Mardon and Jesse – helping the hero puts Leonard off-kilter, so he does it with all the theatricality and bluster he can muster, and still can barely look Barry in the eyes. Leonard hates feeling exposed, but he knows that anything less than that isn’t gonna’ fly if he wants something real with Sara.

Another reason he wouldn’t have felt confident is because… look at how he and Sara stack up. Sara is younger than him, absolutely gorgeous, incredibly strong and badass, not just an assassin but a vigilante hero who put a lot of guys like him behind bars, and is still somehow so incredibly down to earth that she doesn’t have an inflated ego, and she still sees right through him despite all that. She’s even expressed, directly to him, that she doesn’t like him all that much (when they were dying of cold, no less). 

Originally posted by quincyfisher

Leonard’s gotta feel at least a little intimidated in this situation. It’s a long-shot, and even if she might feel the same attraction and pull, there are still plenty of reasons she’d say no. Rejection is a very real possibility. But he still goes for it, because if he doesn’t, his chances are zero, and if he does, his chances at least exist, even if he doesn’t actually know his odds. 

So what does he do? He talks, in a roundabout way, about the future. About his own future, because he can’t help but start by making sure he enforces the idea that he’s looking out for Number One. But then he immediately switches to “and you.” He’s thinking about her future too. Where she’ll be, after all this. Thinking about her at all. And then the “and me and you.” 

Originally posted by lotsource

Originally posted by catvampcrazines

Sure, it’s awkward, and sure he has a hard time looking right at her when he says it until he’s laying the most important bit on the line, and sure it’s a little roundabout. But it’s real, and that’s why it fits. It’s vulnerable, but closed off because of it. And it’s a weird way to go about saying “I care about you and want a future with you” but that’s what he is saying, unmistakably. And that’s important because I don’t think Leonard has ever expressed that (romantic) sentiment to another human being, not in words, not when it was real for him.

And in a way, it actually is incredibly smooth. Because it doesn’t put her on the spot, or force her to respond. It gives her leeway to play it off (which she does) without making the situation awkward. It puts his thoughts and intentions out there in a way that won’t make her uncomfortable or force her to either accept or reject him. So he’s both shown courtesy for her, and also put himself in a position where unless she’s 100% certain she wants to reject him and chooses to right then, she doesn’t have to, and so he doesn’t actually set himself up for rejection at all. 

And well, because she’s not forced to act right then, she doesn’t… she hedges, in a flirtatious way, and neither of them leave that conversation feeling too exposed but both of them know for sure how Leonard feels.

Originally posted by legends-of-today

So in that way, awkward as the line may have seemed, it was… clever. Everything Leonard does is an emotional defense. The man is a mastermind at keeping himself safe, even here, even about this, which is unfamiliar territory to him.

So…. I loved the conversation. Had he laid it all on the line, it would have been too much. Had he played it off as a deflection or an idle flirtation, it wouldn’t have got his intentions across. If there was no vulnerability or exposure, it would have been too oozing with charm, which would have felt wrong, considering he was trying to express real emotions. If it has been totally charmless, it wouldn’t have been him

There are a few reasons why it could have felt awkward to you though. If you don’t ship captain canary, then seeing a non-ship or a notp interact romantically might have made you uncomfortable. If people interact romantically on screen when I can’t perceive any romantic chemistry between them (e.g., Ray and Kendra, for me), I cringe a bit. Or maybe it’s that you have this perception of Leonard where he’s always cool and suave, in part because we so seldom get to see him expressing more genuine, deeper emotions that make him feel vulnerable. When he does, it’s often anger that he’s expressing, using that as a defense against his vulnerability instead. So seeing him a little off his game might have butted up against your perception of him (but fits my perception of him because I think of Leonard as basically a giant awkward dork with a ridiculous and cheesy sense of humor. I mean, a murderous and competent dork, but a total nerd nonetheless). Or maybe it was the timing of it, which admittedly, it wasn’t the best time for him to be talking about his feelings, but I think part of him already knew how he was going to play this, how it might end, even if he was consciously in denial of his own willingness for self-sacrifice at that point. 

Anyway, hope this helps you consider that scene in a new light :)

whattaurl  asked:

I really want an “i accidentally broke into your house/apartment because my friend lives next door to you and i was in the area, drunk, and i thought i was climbing into the right window and falling asleep on the right couch (and i did wonder when my friend got two cats but i didn’t question it) so now i’m hungover and shirtless in your living room so um hi” au - I saw this on tumblr and thought of you! I didn't know if you took fic requests but I think this would make a great ereri fic :)

dkfljdkl;aferj /////// i’m honored that you even thought of me. reading this i couldn’t help but write something, so here you go!

title: Erwin’s neighbor has got it goin’ on
characters: Levi/Eren
notes: Modern AU. 
summary: The last thing Eren expected when he woke up was a half-naked intruder sleeping on his living room couch.

There was nothing that Levi couldn’t do. He’d been climbing up trees, sneaking onto balconies, shimmying his way through windows at odd times of the night since he was twelve because Erwin’s parents had always been strict about him having friends over. And even at the totally and completely young age of thirty-two, Levi still made it the habit to scale the tree and leap onto Erwin’s apartment balcony up on the third floor of Rose Apartments (mostly because the damn bastard left the front door locked, but never the sliding doors).

Sure the world was a tad bit topsy-turvy, and every time he turned his head a little too fast everything started to tilt completely off scale, but that didn’t mean Levi couldn’t climb the tree and hop onto Erwin’s balcony. There was nothing he couldn’t do, after all, sober or intoxicated. He was invincible! Humanity’s strongest! A little alcohol wasn’t going to make him slip from the tree nine times, miss a branch three times, and grip onto the metal bars of the balcony before he plummeted to his death because he missed a step and hadn’t landed precisely as planned. Nope. He had this.

He clung to the bars, awkwardly lifting a leg in order to swing it over the ledge. It took some maneuvering, but two minutes later Levi was rolling onto the balcony with a grunt, kicking over a plastic chair in the process. 

When the hell did Erwin switch to these cheap chairs? Ah well, whatever.

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Love Bites
  • Ashton: You gasp when you feel a pair of arms wrap around your waist as you're cooking dinner. You smile when you feel a familiar pair of lips on your neck and feel his soft hair tickling your skin. "Mm, hi to you too," you say, making him smile against your skin. He lifts his mouth from your neck when you turn your head to face him. His lips press against yours gently before you pull away. "I have to cook and you can't distract me," you scold him as you shove his arms off your waist. He sighs before he backs off, choosing instead to sit on the counter next to the stove. "You know, you're really beautiful," Ashton says as you add a few more vegetables to the soup you're making. You blush under his kind words and soft eyes. Your relationship with Ashton is still relatively new to both of you, in its first few weeks, and you both know that this, what you two have, could be something really special. You're both trying to be careful, to take this slow, but you're both falling too hard too fast. Still, his sweet words aren't something you're used to hearing. "Thanks, Ash," you say, not looking up at him. "Look at me when you talk to me," he tells you. "I like your eyes." You bite your lip as you look up at him and he groans. "I didn't say bite your lip," he mumbles before hopping off the counter. His lips connect to yours suddenly, his tongue parting your lips instantly. His large hands rest on your waist, almost encircling you as he pulls you into him. You wrap your arms around his neck, your hands sliding into his curly hair. He groans against your mouth when you tug on the strands softly. "Baby, you can't do that and expect me not to react," he says in a sing-song voice after pulling away from you. You bite your lip and look up at him through hooded eyes. "What if I want you to react?" you ask. You barely finish your sentence before his lips crash against yours again. His hands grip your waist tighter as his lips move roughly against yours. His lips leave your and you almost whimper at the loss of contact until you feel his lips on your neck. He kisses down your neck slowly, finding a sensitive spot near the base of neck that you didn't even know you had. The second his lips rest there, you moan and tighten your hands in his hair, making him suck a quick breath between his teeth. Seconds later those teeth are gently pressing into that spot on your neck. You gasp at the new feeling. You feel his lips pull into a smile on your skin before his teeth leave your skin in favor of gently sucking on your skin, focusing all his attention on that sensitive spot. You bite your lip to hold in your moans when he starts to sooth your irritated skin with his tongue. He pulls away from you for a moment before blowing cool air over your damp, reddened skin. "How am I supposed to hide that, Ash?" you ask him when he relaxes his grip on you in favor of setting his hands on your hips loosely. He shrugs and simply says, "Not my problem, babe. I make them. It's your job to keep them between us." He presses his lips back to yours without another warning.
  • Calum: Calloused hands roaming your soft skin. Smooth lips pressed against your jaw. Dark hair ghosting across your skin. Your heart pounding in your chest. Calum was the only one who made you feel like this and he knew it, but you didn't care that he knew how much he affected you. "Stay with me forever," he mumbles in your ear before his lips brush against the bruises on your neck he left last night. "Man, I got a little carried away," Calum chuckles against your skin. "Sorry, babe." You hum in response, running a hand lazy through his hair as you mumble, "It's okay. I don't mind." Calum pulls his head back so his eyes lock with yours before he says, "You showering with me or on your own? We've got to get ready to go." You groan and shake your head, pulling him back down so you can hide your face in his neck. He laughs and says, "Babe, it's your family barbecue. You're the one who said you have to go. I'm coming because I'm a good boyfriend. Now, come on. I'll help you shower." He hops out of bed first while you grumble, "Oh yeah, help me shower. That's definitely what's about to happen." He laughs loudly from the bathroom before turning on the shower. You follow him in slowly, too slowly for his liking. He lightly smacks your butt when you enter the bathroom, earning a squeal from you and another laugh from him. "Get in the shower, woman. Goodness," he says, pushing you into the shower, not more than a step behind you. You two finally arrive at your parents house, barely in time thanks to too long of a shower and forgetting the cookies you'd baked due to that same shower. Your mom smiles and kisses your cheek before hugging Calum, greeting both of you warmly. You adjust the scarf you'd thrown around your neck to hide the marks Calum left, making sure it covered all of them. Calum's lips brush against your ear as his whispers, "You're good, babe. Stop worrying about it." You dad greets you with a massive hug when he sees you and so does your older brother. Both of them nod to Calum. Neither of them are big fans of your boyfriend, but they tolerate him for you. You hear your little cousin shout your name as she comes running into the kitchen, a few of your other cousins hot on her heels. You bend down and scoop her up with ease. She sees Calum and he smiles as her, bending down closer to your height to kiss her cheek, making her giggle. "Nice to see you again," he tells her, ruffling her short hair softly. "I like your scarf," she tells you. Without thinking about it, you unwind it from your neck and give it to her. She immediately struggles to get down, so you set her down to run off and play with the other kids, your scarf proudly around her neck. "Um, sweetie, what happened to your neck?" your aunt asks from her position behind the stove. You immediately remember and try to duck your head to hide them, but it doesn't help. "Well, those are some serious love bites," one of your other aunts says as she enters the room. "You should've at least tried to cover those up, goodness girl." Calum's not normally shy, but he has clammed up under the accusing gaze of your father. Your brother on the other hand is livid. His hands clench into fists and his next words come out through closed teeth. "Hood, I'm giving you a head start. Run," your brother says. Calum tears out of the house faster than you've ever seen him run, your brother not more than a few feet behind him.
  • Luke: You're laying between his legs, your back flush against his chest, and your fingers tangle with his as you watch a move together. Suddenly, you feel his lips on your neck, surprising you. You smile and say, "Luke, stop, I'm trying to watch this." He squeezes your hands tightly before mumbling almost incoherent words against your neck, "Pause it or something. I want you right now." Your breath catches in your throat at his rough words. "Too much?" he asks hesitantly. "Ah, I ruined that. Let's just watch the movie." He starts to pull back, but you cut in and say, "No, you're fine, Luke. You've just never said anything like that before." Luke is basically your first everything, so he's trying to be as careful with you as possible, never pushing you for anything more than what you're willing to give. You pause the movie with shaking hands. Luke notices and recaptures your hands in his. "What's wrong?" he asks. You push his hands away and turn over slightly less gracefully than you wanted. You press your mouth to his, shocking him for a moment. He takes over control of the kiss easily, which is definitely for the better since you're not quite sure what you're supposed to be doing. "Tell me when to stop," he whispers in your ear softly before his lips ghost down your jaw, his warm breath fanning out across your skin, leaving goosebumps. "Mm, as much as I like this," he pauses as his hands grip your hips. He flips you two around. He guides you carefully so you're in his spot with your back on the couch and he's hovering over you. "This is definitely preferable," he finishes, making you giggle and bite your lip. He groans, his voice significantly lower than before as he says, "No lip biting unless you want me to stop being able to control myself." You think about doing it again, but decide to simply nod instead. He keeps his weight off you with arm against the couch next to your head as he lowers himself back down to you. He takes one of your hands in his, squeezing tightly. "Seriously, say red light and I'll stop," he says, his eyes locking with yours. You nod and he smiles in response before pressing a soft, gentle kiss to your lips. His hand leaves yours to cup your cheek, allowing him to deepen the kiss. His tongue moves tenderly across your lips, asking for entrance, which you grant. You hesitate, not quite sure of yourself, before sliding your hands into his blond hair, tugging him a little closer. He moves his hand from your face to your hip to brace himself better. He curses as he breaks the kiss. "Where did that come from?" he asks. Your eyes go wide and you say, "Was that bad? I'm sorry, Luke-" He cuts you off with a rough kiss, his lip ring cold against your warm, slightly bruised lips. "Loved it," he tells you breathlessly before placing an open-mouthed kiss on your jaw. Your chest is heaving and your heart is pounding in your chest as his mouth moves down your neck, leaving lazy kisses everywhere. His hand that was resting on your hip moves to push your t-shirt off your shoulder. His mouth starts to explore the skin previously untouched by his lips. You gasp when you feel him gently suck on your collarbone, biting into it suddenly. You tighten one of your hands in his hair, keeping him close to you. He sucks on your skin a little harder, irritating it further, before soothing it with his tongue. "Mine," Luke mumbles before kissing the red patch of skin gingerly. "If you get to mark me, then I get to mark you," you tell him. Luke freezes, only moving his head so his eyes lock with yours. "That was literally the hottest thing you've ever said," he tells you. You're not as good as him, that's for sure, but you manage to leave a dark mark on his collarbone, the same place he marked you. "We match," he chuckles as he runs his thumb across your lips. "I like it. And you."
  • Michael: You double-check your hair in the mirror one more time before grabbing your clutch and exiting the bathroom. You slide on your heels and head into the living room where Michael has been waiting not-so-patiently for the last twenty minutes. "Thank goodness you're-" He stops mid-sentence when he sees you. "You look amazing," he breathes out as he stands up and comes over to you. He starts to move to kiss your lips, but you stop him. "I spent five minutes getting this lipstick just right, Clifford. Don't you dare mess it up," you say. He smirks and shrugs before saying, "Fine then. I guess I'll just have to improvise." Despite your heels, he still has to lean down to press his lips to your neck. His hands splay across your back, pressing your body flush against his. He hums in pleasure against your skin. Having you in his arms and his lips on your skin is his favorite thing, even better than being on stage. You slide one of your hands into his hair and grip his arm with the other. The second his teeth press into your skin, your fingers dig into his arm. "Michael," you mumble when he pulls back on your skin just a bit, causing a mixture of pain and pleasure to run through you. You grip his arm harder as a moan slips out of your lips. He releases your skin from his teeth as his lips form a smile. He blows cool air across the sore spot on your skin, sending a shiver down your spine, before reattaching his lips there, gently sucking on your skin. You suck in a breath through your teeth. He's not being very gentle right now, but you don't mind because neither are you. You're nails are almost piercing the skin on his arm and your hand is tangled messily in his dyed hair. His hands run up and down your sides, feeling your curves under your dress. "I wish we had more time," Michael mumbles before finally alleviating the pain with his tongue. You sigh with relief, relaxing your hold on his arm and untangling your hand from his hair as smoothly as possible. "Huh, I did a good job," Michael muses when he finally pulls back. You turn to face the mirror on the wall. You walk over to further inspect just what Michael has done. "How am I supposed to cover this up?" you ask him. The spot he'd focused on was red, already threatening to turn purple. You could even seen the indentations from his teeth in your skin. "Mikey," you groan, "how am I supposed to hide this?" You see him shrug in the mirror behind you. "I don't know. You've got a bunch of makeup. Surely one of those skin colored things will cover it," he replies. "I mean, you could just leave it. That's another choice." You glare at him through the mirror before saying, "I'm not going to just leave it, Michael. This thing is ridiculous. Why did you have to do this now and not when we came back?" Michael smirks and says, "You're the one wearing the killer dress, babe. You knew it would get to me." You roll your eyes and start heading to the bathroom, continuing your conversation along the way. "Yeah, but I thought you could at least contain yourself until we got back," you tell him. "Thought wrong," he chuckles, now standing in the bathroom doorway as you dig through your makeup to find your heavy concealer, the one reserved solely for horrible bruises and now, thanks to Michael, the massive love bite on your neck. Much to your relief, the concealer does its job well enough that no one will be able to see the mark on your neck for the night. You toss the concealer into your clutch in case you need to touch it up. "Mm, I think I'm going to give you a matching one later tonight," Michael says casually as you slip into the car. "I can't have a giant mark on each side of my neck, Mikey," you sigh as you buckle your seatbelt. "Oh, who said anything about it being on your neck?"

Dear taylorswift,

I wrote you a very long thing a long time ago, but recently I’ve been thinking about adding some pictures to that very boring text, and here they are. So now I’m just going to put everything together and explain myself.

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Fic: Featherbed Jig

For the Klaine Advent Challenge Day 4: Dessert

Blaine climbs the stairs up to the loft as quickly as he can manage, eager to get home and let the weekend begin after what has truly been a hellishly long week. He’s tired, sore from dance class and stage combat and just being on his feet running around trying to juggle work and school and friends all week long, and all he wants right now is to be home, the safety of the loft and the blissful prospect of an entire weekend doing nothing (except homework, but he’ll worry about that later).

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been up all night (staring at you)

(I was going to write a short drabble after seeing this post. turns out I can’t keep my feelings in check when it comes to these complete and utter morons that i love so much.

spoilerish based on the new promo).

She opens the door in a swift movement in an attempt to get rid of her last nerves, which turns out to be the worst idea of the century because he stands there with a smile, his eyes literally shimmering (fucking shimmering, like a cliché movie that usually makes her cringe, but now she’s never been further away from cringing at anything in her entire life) in the dimly lit hallway, and she tries to remember her own name.

“Emma,” he sighs (and she wonders when her name went from a simple name to a prayer), as his face lights up (impossibly) more. “You look beautiful.” As he speaks, her mind starts screaming at her until she actually looks at him and realizes he’s wearing different clothes. Actual different clothes not resembling something a pirate would wear, but instead making him look like a rock star.

(A mindblowingly hot rock star with a fondness for eyeliner).

“Hi,” she replies, because how is she supposed to form words with her mouth when she’s busy gaping at him?

He takes a few steps forward into the apartment, and hands her a rose. She smiles, raising her own hand to accept it, but –

“How – what – when?” She stares at the rose in front of her, and the hand that is holding it out to her that most definitely weren’t there the night before, or any other night since she met him. She ends up not being able to form a proper question, and just keeps on staring at the very much real left hand in front of her even as she accepts the rose.

“Mr. Gold and I made a deal.” He shrugs, as if it isn’t a big deal. As if him standing there with his hand back after being without it for hundreds of years doesn’t matter much at all.

She grimaces. “A deal?” She lifts she rose to her nose, inhales the sweet scent before meeting his eyes again. “Why would you do that?”

His face softens. “To be able to do this.” He steps even closer to her, carefully placing his left hand on her cheek, and she leans into it without thinking about it, closing her eyes as she does. Another hand touches her other cheek, shortly followed by the touch of his lips against hers, a chaste kiss but still more intimate than she would’ve thought possible. She smiles, and rests her forehead against his, and it does feel good but

(She doesn’t say that she thinks he was great as he was, nor does she whisper how she misses the cold metal against her waist. She wants him to know that he doesn’t have to make any changes in order to be with her, that he is good enough even though he can’t seem to see that himself (because he’s just as much of an open book to her as she is for him and she knows he’s been thinking he has to prove himself to her).

She’s going to tell him all those things, but not now, not tonight).

“So what do I call you know? Captain Hand?” She laughs at her own joke, and he joins in, his left hand slowly starting to get to know her, twisting in her hair, her heart skipping a beat.

Someone clearing their throat makes Killian take a step back. “You finished?” her father says with a skeptical raise of his eyebrows, but Emma sees the smile still there and shakes her head, wondering if she’s imagining his wet cheeks or not.

She takes Killian’s hand – the one he had reattached for her, the one he made a deal with his arch enemy for – and starts leading them out through the door. “Don’t wait up, Dad.”

“What am I, some guard? Of course I won’t wait up, Emma.”

She snorts at the obvious lie, and doesn’t miss the exchange of smiles between the two men and the small nod her father gives in return.

She squeezes Killian’s hand. “Let’s go have our date.”

(There’s a definite sound of sniveling when the door is closed behind them, which David refuses to admit came from him. She finds an old napkin under the couch a few weeks later, though, with her and Killian’s initials inside a heart and she can’t stop laughing at the look on her father’s face when he sees that she has framed it).


lalala, this is where i try to make you all cry but fail hard at it. AND today i’m just too damned lazy to rAMBLE or do much anything–am i in character yet? lol but no really, look at that graphic, whAT IS THAT?! OK, let’s just move onto the good stuff–SUCH AS ALL THE YATOITES THAT HAVE MADE AN IMPACT ON ME & THIS BLOG.

ps. this is a thank you list!


ghoulpatch, hotazu | ctherworldly, surutakai, heprotected | fiiducia, judotaii | slomaniihiinami, iithxspuerefrigus, ravcnous, waningxmoon shinkineyuki, lcverboy | framorte, fukugxmi | trxvailleuse, beachbxm | bdrck | genericxloveshit, tooflless | lifegiiver | glaciial, poiised, talentedropout, fenrirulfr | aestuavistrionfale


chastespirit, senshokami, raxcity, hcmicidalqueeneffinxi, mikorisms, bakeryisms, yuichirons, justifiied, withoutglory, harpalium, bravxryy, hxganbana, hazardia, eroriir, ezdoty, herpact, sxnsato, sentxxki, calamitouscyan, floreusbellator, scintillais, flouxish, xdrenaline, femavyx, liberetspes, streetcrowned, aeternuslunae, swansets, sola–cordis, nxmui, stellapotator


dxnamis, brangwyn, lumennox, fabricaterose, soulchord, cosmother, devilwrought, devouriing, yiilang, ineptic, godofsodomy, chxsenfate, ofmemoriiies, dxflagratio, hxkuri, kaonashi-guru, orroi, lcuswelt, arraneous, sxviior, trafalxar, bondsofeveryonessouls, comminuta, philautiam, battlekissed, iyashinomizu

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