and i'm so frustrated i want to scream

Sunsets and Heartache

Summary: Peter tries to be a hero, but Aunt May knows that he carries the heavy weight of the world on his shoulders that make it even harder for him to breathe.

Word count: 581

A/N: (I’m assuming the fight in Spiderman: Homecoming takes place in Washington) This is my first Peter Parker one shot that took me around 5 hours to finish so feedback would be great! 

Credit to gif owner


Peter tries to be a hero, but Aunt May knows that he carries the heavy weight of the world on his shoulders that make it even harder for him to breathe, so he takes a seat on his bedroom window to get some fresh air, his legs dangling off the apartment building. The sun sets to a dark red with a tinge of pink and he gazes toward the sky, clutching the red mask into his fist and he almost wants to get rid of it. It came to a point where everything was just too much for him to handle. Even the sound of his phone ringing in his front pocket seemed to bother him, so Peter decides to ignore it.

Somehow, he starts thinking about Y/N and how he ended things between them weeks ago. There  were times when Aunt May or even Tony would ask him how they were doing and he’d always reply with a shrug or a muttered “We’re fine” until it came to a point where they just knew that their relationship was going downhill.

Peter hears a knock on the door and sees Aunt May peaking through the small crack. “Someone’s here to see you.” She says, her lips curving upwards before leaving the room. Tony’s seated on the couch, chewing on another slice of Aunt May’s walnut and date loaf before sending him a grin.

“Peter!” Tony appeared amuse to see him again considering that it’s been awhile since the fight in Washington. “Listen kid, I don’t know what’s been going on with you lately,” he swallows. “But whatever this is, you can’t deal with it alone.” He nods toward the kitchen and that’s when Peter spots her:

Y/N.

He catches his breath, not knowing whether to yell at Tony for bringing her here for God knows what reason or cry because he gets to be with her again and maybe, just maybe he’d have her back in his arms by the end of the day.

“We’ll leave you two alone.”

“Hey,” Peter spoke. “How have you been?”

“Coping.” She nods, taking a seat on the stool. She’s been partying again, going out with Liz and Michelle and whoever else asks her if she’d want to hang out- desperately wanting to keep her mind off of Peter and her failing grade in chemistry.

It was silent for awhile, the tension and possibly heartache growing in the room. He decides to speak up, wanting to get things over with.

“I’m sorry.” They both say at the same time. Peter looks at her in shock.

“It was my fault, every piece of it. Why do you blame yourself?”

“I was being selfish, Peter. The world needs you. It’s what you do.”

Her selflessness makes him run his fingers through his hair. “I wasn’t enough. You deserve more than what I give you.” Y/N shakes her head, almost in disbelief. “I’m not good for you.” Peter wants her to punch him and scream and it frustrates him because she’s not angry.

“Stop beating yourself up. Please.

He realizes that she was all the strength he needed during his downfall, that he fights for her, for Aunt May, for the team and for the rest of the world.

“I don’t want to lose you again.”

And he was right. She was back in his arms with eyes closed and even breaths, every ounce of fear and worry fading away.

“I’m not going anywhere, Spiderboy.”


Masterlist

I’ll punch a guy someday while explaining that being okay with lesbians because they are “sexy” and not being okay with gay men is homophobia. If you ever get in a conversation like this, don’t. Mansplaining of this is one of the worst things I have ever heard and I want to legit throw myself screaming every time a guy says: “It’s not the same thing.”

Being okay with women being together and not being okay with men being together is homophobia and I’ll fight (and I do) anyone who suggests otherwise.

I don’t know if the other way around exists, never met anyone like that thank kittens, but that is homophobia as well. 

anonymous asked:

I kind of hope that if sanvers decides they want children that Kara will teach them Kryptonese but at the same time I think it'd be hilarious because small children who speak multiple languages fluently often can't differentiate between them so I'm just imagining Maggie trying to figure out what her child wants for lunch but she can't understand a single word they're saying and she's becoming frustrated because Alex and Kara is working and her baby is starting to scream gibberish at her.

I mean okay yes this is a cute headcanon but but but but the thing is that Maggie would totally learn the language, too, totally totally totally! ;)

Post4x10 is making me see that the CLs still hanging around just don’t get it. Why? because they’re really going after my Clarke, saying she’s ruined and is being written to just put Bellamy on a pedestal, and it makes me furious.

Look, some of y’all don’t like Clarke because she betrayed Octavia (dishonoring the agreed upon terms of the conclave) and because she has an ends-justify-the-means mentality, right now. Which fine, okay, if you don’t like her for that, that’s fine. 

But,

then, you have the nerve to say that L.xa would be disappointed in her and some of y’all act like L.xa was somehow a better person than Clarke. That she was different. 

Are you freaking kidding me?! Where the heck did you get that idea?! 

L.xa was the queen of betrayal (dishonoring agreed upon terms of her alliance with the Sky People in 2x15) and the queen of the ends-justify-the-means (it was always her way or the highway, when wasn’t it?), and some of y’all worshipped her for it, but now Clarke emulates her and you think Clarke didn’t “honor or learn” from L.xa, and so THAT’S why she did what she did in 4x10?!

I can’t even

This is legit my biggest pet peeve, and when I read reviews like this… it makes me want to scream. Well, I’ve let the poison out and this is where I’ll stop and not make a post about it again. 

*sigh* Yup, okay, I’m done. 

America during the party in the Elite.
  • America: I wonder if Maxon will ask me to dance...Ohh I know, I'll walk over so he can see me and then ask me to dance. *walks toward Maxon, Natalie and Kriss*
  • Maxon: *turns to Natalie* Hey, wanna dance?
  • Natalie: *internally screaming* Sure.
  • America: *NOPE. NOPE. BAD IDEA. ABORT MISSION! ABORT MISSION!* OH WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT! CHOCOLATES!!! *shoves 5 chocolates into her mouth* SO DELICIOOUUSS, NOTHING TO SEE HERE PEOPLE! I'M HERE FOR THE CHOCOLATE. WHO WANTS TO DANCE ANYWAY?

*crawls back online wheezing*
Free at last-

Testing was absolutely horrible, I’m pretty sure I bombed everything, I feel like shit and I don’t have anyone to lay on and whine to, today sucks, and I want to sleep for a bajillion years and not wake up or else I might cry, but it’s not like I can talk out loud bc I lost my fucking voice to this goddamn sore throat, so I’m kind of frustrated because the only sound I can make is this little squeaky chirpy noise!!!!!

ever had that feeling
that feeling where you want to say something
yet you dont know what you want to say
you dont know how to say it
but you really want to say something
but you can’t because you can’t put what you want to say into words
so you’re just stuck there screaming in your mind
hoping someone will hear you
someone will listen
but no one does
because there’s no words to listen to
even if there where
no one reads minds anymore
so what’s the point?

anonymous asked:

Yknow, I've never actually saw unrequited love in akafuri before, have you? I love the idea of Akashi being the lovesick one and Furihata being oblivious (tho I don't like the other way around, go figure) especially from Akashi's point of view (maybe that's why I love Loser so much, god all the pining from Akashi's view) so like I don't think you're taking requests but could you maybe write a little about Akashi's one sided love for Furihata? You don't have to, just know that Loser is amazing!

“Oh, did I tell you? I asked out Kotone-chan.”

Akashi nearly spit out his drink at the suddenly change in topic, his heart sinking in his chest. Furihata was smiling brightly across the table, and though his friend’s sunny exterior usually made his heart hammer against his ribcage, that look could only mean one thing in this situation.

“I-Is that so?” Akashi asked, clearing his throat and preparing himself for the worst.

“Yeah. She said no, though,” Furihata said, laughing. “I’m never gonna get a girlfriend, I swear!”

“I… I see,” Akashi replied, relief rushing through his body. “You, ah… Do not appear to be very upset about it.”

“She laughed at me when I did it,” Furihata explained, his mouth twisting into a sour frown. “Turns out she wasn’t as nice as I thought she was. Better I found out this way though.” He sighed. “Why is it so hard to find someone that likes me as much as I like them?”

Akashi bit his cheek to keep himself from spilling out all the reasons he was so incredibly fond of the brunet.

“I mean… You’d think someone with similar interests that treats me decently wouldn’t be asking for so much, right?” Furihata lamented.

Akashi nodded in agreement, mentally tallying all their common interests. Not to mention the fact that they already did nice things for each other all the time without any prompting needed. It would be nigh impossible to treat Furihata any better than he did now.

Why couldn’t he see that they would be perfect together?!

“At this point, I’d probably even try dating a guy if the right one came along.” Furihata admitted shyly, rubbing the back of his neck. A faint blush spread across his face. “H-Hey, Akashi?”

His heart leapt into his throat. “Yes?”

“Y-You, um… You wouldn’t happen to know anybody you could set me up on a date with, would you?”

Akashi wanted to scream.

Sometimes I get really sad. To the point where my heart sinks to my stomach and I physically cannot get out of bed. It’s not my choice and I wish I could just “perk up” or “just be happy” but I can’t. And some people will never be able to understand that.

One of my small delights is taking Jack and Gabe and imagining them in every day, mundane situations. 

Old men going for walks in the park and feeding pigeons.

Going grocery shopping together and Gabe finding out - to his frustration - that Jack has been living on cereal and protein bars for the past 20 years. 

Catching a late night movie together so no one can see them sitting close and holding hands in the back of the theater. 

Like, I know they have such angsty issues as a couple, but I want them to just talk and scream and cry and hug until they realize that they still love each other despite everything.

I’m honestly horrified and disgusted by my own country rn. To anyone out there who is also Brazilian, my heart goes out to you. This is the biggest shit show I’ve ever seen in my life and politics hasn’t been so wrong and disgraceful ever since last time people took away our voice and vote (the military dictatorship, that some of the people who are taking over scream that they want back). The death of democracy is here and the worst part is it’s being celebrated by ignorance and the ones manipulating everyone else who naively think it will make things better. I guarantee it won’t, you’re being played and we’re ALL going to pay the price.

anonymous asked:

Hello lovely I'm all heart eyes over your writing and wanted to ask if you could write a love/hate blurb for calum? :-))

“Jesus, Calum!” you screamed, your hands knotting your hands in your hair and pulling in frustration. “I can’t fucking believe you.” 

“So we went out for the night, had a few drinks. Honestly? You’re acting fucking crazy.” His words were calm, but the venom in his eyes as he glared at you was anything but.

“GET OUT!” you closed the few feet between the two of you, placing your hands on his chest and pushing him towards the door. “GO, go fuck around with your stupid fucking fuckboy friends.” 

“Anything’s better than being here,” he grabbed his keys off the table and stormed out the door. It slammed shut heavily between the two of you. You stood there for a moment, seething, breathing heavy. Your boyfriend was honestly so infuriating- “You’re not really mad, right babe?” Calum had reopened the door a crack, his head sticking through.

You huffed out an angry breath and pouted. “Be back in an hour.”

He grinned. “Roses?”

“Pink.” 

I’m just gonna get straight to the point..

Why in the hell are the writers acting like Iris didn’t JUST find out her mother was alive? Not only did she find out she was being lied to for over 20 years and finding out she really didn’t die, she THEN finds out her mother is dying. Then on TOP of that, she finds out she has a brother. So you’re telling me that Iris basically found out that most of her life was a lie and we don’t even get to see her talk about it? Okay, maybe it’s apart of Iris’s characterization to suppress her feelings and worry about everyone else but seriously??????? Why can’t we see Iris deal with it????? Why are the acting like it didn’t happen????????? She never got to grieve Eddie for one and when he is mentioned, everyone and their mama brings him up. But Iris??? No wayyyy. Six months was apparently enough for her to grieve. I’m just so confused?????????? 

Are you also telling me that Iris wouldn’t be the first to visit Barry and be by his side after she seen him get dragged like a rag doll right in front of her??? That she wouldn’t be the first to be by his bedside???? But instead, Barry sees Caitlin and Cisco???? The same Iris who ran into Star Labs as soon as she heard Barry was temporarily blind???? The one that was by his bed side every night when he was in a coma for 9 months??? Yes, we don’t know how long it’s been since Barry was knocked out, and she probably visited him but it doesn’t matter??? Why do we have to assume Iris visited Barry? Why can’t we actually see it??? Why does everything about her character left to assumptions and interpretations but get to see everyone else voice their grievances or their purpose??? Why was Iris’s name mentioned more times in this episode than she was actually present???? Barry said her name like 6 times this episode but why can’t we see her do what he said she did????? The writers think they can have someone mention her and it’ll be okay because she contributed in a way (which, again, we are left to assume) but that’s not okay at all. Why can’t we actually see Iris contributing????? And I’m not talking about this episode specifically because she did contribute a lot (my baby girl) but Barry literally said her name more times than she was present this episode and it’s baffling. They couldn’t even show us talk to Barry on the other side of the phone yall. And people think that little of a thing shouldn’t matter but it does??  Why do we have to see Barry once again, be encouraged to go after Patty when we all know this relationship is doomed to fail?? Why bring Patty in at all when we know she’s temporary??? When Barry even said “She’s not Iris” before even beginning the damn relationship. Yes, maybe it ties into the theme that Barry isn’t truly happy and will never be truly happy but????? I see the underlying message of it all but we know PB’s relationship is not gonna work. Instead of seeing Barry having to be convinced for the 27493752397432 time, why can’t we see the “Iris West Ace Reporter” that AJK and the rest of the producers promised us??? That’s really why I’m mad. All summer, we’ve been fed these lies about the ‘season of the Wests’ and ‘Ace Reporter Iris’ but where are we seeing it??? We always see Iris in CCPN but what is she working on?? What is she doing there? Obviously she’s working on articles, etc. but why are we left to assume??? WHY CAN’T WE SEE IT???? WHY DOES THE SHOW INSIST ON SIDELINING IRIS????? And it’s not going to get any better. She barely has screen time in the next few episodes and one line in the flarrow crossover. But next episode, we get to see a semi-Caitlin centered episode when we already got that + her grieving Ronnie. I’m… 

Okay, I completely understand why Barry told Linda he was The Flash cause it makes sense. Linda had to know what she was fighting for. It wouldn’t make sense for her to wanna risk her life for The Flash just because he’s The Flash (also if you want to add in Wally)… However, I’m still a little salty?? lol. Maybe I’m just being bitter because The Flash told Iris he doesn’t know why he wears a mask with her, Iris says maybe one day he’ll take it off but INSTEAD we got Barry getting caught by Iris and Barry literally taking his mask off for Linda, lol. This doesn’t mean I don’t love the way Iris found out because it was so beautiful. I guess it’s just the fact that Barry told everyone and their mama he was The Flash but Iris was made to look stupid by everyone because they lied to her. 

I’m not gonna lie, this episode was probably my favorite so far and all of that goes to ZOOM. He was the only thing good about this episode tbh. He scared the beejezus out of me and I’m really excited to see him this season. The way he dragged Barry like that??? I was laughing, crying, and cheering on Zoom the entire time. It was everything I wanted.  I also loved the humor in the Linda training scenes and WestPark in general. I hope people don’t think I’m being negative!Nancy and actively searching for things to rant about because that’s not the case at all. You don’t need to search for something that is right there in your face… The marginalization of Iris is so apparent and it makes me wanna scream because not only are you treating your leading lady like crap, you expect us not to notice?? You think you can have her in CCPN and we’ll be okay. You think you can have her in Star Labs and we’ll be okay. NO WE ARE NOT. Everything is so frustrating?????? 

Preference #90: You're best friends and your boyfriend breaks up with you
  • Michael: Your vision was blurry and you were finding it hard to breathe, but you managed to get to Michael's because you just wanted to curl up beside him and cry all night. You knocked on the door and folded your arms across your chest and sobbed quietly before the door swung open. He smiled once he saw it was you, but that smile was quickly gone when he realized the state you were in. He gently pulled you into his house and led you to the couch and held you close to him, rubbing your back as you sobbed into his chest. "H-He broke up with m-me. I loved h-him so much, Michael..." You stuttered, tears falling from your eyes. He leaned his head on top of yours and continued to rub your back to try and calm you down. "He is an idiot for letting you go, (Y/N)." Michael tried to make you feel better, but unfortunately you weren't sure anything could at this moment. "I'm not just saying that because we're best friends and that's what you want to hear right now. I'm saying it because it's true and it's what you need to hear. Any man who lets you out of their life is a straight up dumb ass and I can't believe he let perfection go." You felt his lips on the top of your head and you smiled slightly, looking up at him. "Thank you for being you." You leaned down and laid down, laying your head on his lap. The rest of the night he tried to get your mind off of it and when you were ready you both talked about what exactly happened and Michael helped you a lot which you were extremely grateful for.
  • Ashton: "What's up?" Ashton asked on the other end. You could hear loud voices in the background and you felt bad that you interrupted whatever he was doing, but you just really needed him at that moment. "I guess you're busy, but I just really need to see you..." Your voice trailed off and you tried to keep your voice clear. You know if it were shaky or anything he would automatically know something was wrong and ask a million questions. You heard him laugh slightly. "(Y/N), I'll be back in a few weeks I told you that already! You'll see me soon enough, goof ball." He continued to chuckle and you closed your eyes, letting tears fall from them. You sniffled and Ashton stopped laughing. "Is something wrong? Are you okay?" Suddenly, the noise in the background was gone and you could only hear his voice. "I...No, I'm not okay. I don't want to drop this on you while you're away, but-" "No, I want you to drop whatever is bugging you on me. Please, (Y/N)." He pleaded, sounding more eager by the second. You sighed and closed your eyes once more. "I'm single." There was silence on the phone. You could tell her was shocked, especially since you and your boyfriend - now ex-boyfriend - were fine just last week...or so you thought. "What the hell... Oh my god, I'm so sorry, (Y/N). I wish I could be there with you right now..." You smiled at the thought, but told him there was nothing he could do. It was just nice to have him to talk to about this. You explained everything. Like how you both thought you were happy together for the last three months, but didn't realize that you weren't because you both were so blinded by the love you had for each other. You didn't realize that you could be in love, but not happy; neither of you did. "Well, as soon as I get back I am taking you out and make sure you forget all about that guy. If you're ever down about it, though, just shoot me a text and even if I'm doing a show I'll reply." He laughed at his joke and it made you smile. You were glad you had a friend that could make you laugh or smile no matter what mood you were in.
  • Calum: You waited in your room for Calum to show up. You had texted him ten minutes ago asking if he could come to your place it was urgent. You and your boyfriend had just broken up and all you wanted to do was talk to Calum about it. He knew how to make you feel better about it all. Suddenly, he barged into your room panting. "I came as quick as I could. What's the emergency?" He asked as you were laying on your bed, staring blankly at the ceiling. "He dumped me." You spoke quietly. Calum stood there shocked, and sat down beside you, asking if you were okay. "I thought I would be okay, but I'm not. Am I not good enough for him? What did I do wrong?" You sat up and looked into Calum's eyes. "Do I need to go to his place and beat the shit out of him? Because I will! You know I will!" He was about to get up from the bed, but you pulled him back down, laughing. "No, no. That's not necessary. I just need you to tell me that I'm beautiful and a wonderful person." You joked as he leaned in for a hug, rubbing your back. "Hey, now I can be the only guy in your life that you really need." He joked. You both laughed and stayed together for the rest of the day watching movies, and that's all you really needed.
  • Luke: You screamed as you continued to throw things at the wall and onto the floor. You were so frustrated with everything that was happening at this moment and wanted to punch a wall, but chose not to. "Hey, (Y/N)?" You heard a soft voice from behind you. You had a picture frame in your hand and threw it onto the ground, letting out another frustrated scream. You felt arms around you and you struggled for a moment, but finally quit and began to sob. You both fell to the ground and you felt them rub your hair. You looked up and saw your best friend, Luke, looking down at you sympathetically. "You were right. He was an ass. He left me for some grade nine he met at a party." You were about to grab another picture of you both to break, but Luke stopped you. "He did what?!" Luke's voice raised slightly and you looked up at him, startled. "I'm gonna fucking kill him." Luke was about to get up and do God knows what to your ex, but you stopped him. "No, don't. There's no use. He's worthless to me." You both sat on the ground for a few minutes, then Luke got up, helping you up, too. "How about we go get some food and then go egg his house, yeah?" Luke suggested and you smiled, following after him. Thank God, for Luke.