and i'm not smart enough to know how to fix that if it's even possible

Compilation of various JEAN/Jerejean headcanons about stars (vaguely.. I deviate a few times.. but like deviation on a theme!) 

(This is going to be a mix of old/already mentioned somewhere HC’s and some new/unmentioned ones… so sorry for any repeats but my hunt for all the original posts was going absolutely nowhere)

GUYS THERE IS LITERALLY 4K OF ME RAMBLING AND CRYING ABOUT MY SONS UNDER THIS CUT. PLEASE I TRIED. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. 

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becauseforoncethisisme  asked:

What would your ideal Jem and the Holograms reboot be like? Please go into loving detail.

You know, I’m going to go ahead and just support everything the new comic is doing. Sincerely, I can’t think of much I would change to make it better. I read the whole run so far the other day, and I just cannot recommend this series enough. Not just for someone who loves JEM, but as a sincerely awesome comic. The characters are amazing, the relationships are amazing, Kimber and Stormer are a thing almost immediately and that is SUPER amazing. I EVEN ACTUALLY KIND OF LIKE RIO WHAT THE HELL

Spoilers for the new JEM comic below the cut, because I’ve been meaning to gush and you gave me an opening.

WARNING: WORDS HAPPEN

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solistentothethunder  asked:

Hi! I'm studying to become a teacher and learning about adhd a lot but it's all really clinical so I wanted to ask you if you could tell me something about what adhd means to you and what you wish people and especially teachers understood about it?

hi! uhm this might be kind of unorganized because i haven’t slept in over 30 hours and also, duh, adhd, but uhm…. students with adhd need structure. and not just in school, in class. we need systems for homework and for writing papers. writing papers is so, so, so, so hard when you have adhd, and i’ve never met an adult who even thought about that. you need to understand that having adhd is so much harder than people think. the way our schools are designed has created the worst environment possible for students with adhd. it tires us out twice as much as neurotypical students. all the noise, colors, moving around, having to quickly change your mindset from class to class, sitting in the same position all day, listening to a thousand conversations, trying to keep track of notes and schedules and all the loose papers you’ve been handed that day, it melts your brain when you have adhd. we are so smart, and often we can do so much more than neurotypical kids, but school reduces us to helpless, confused children who can’t turn in their assignments in time because we are literally incapable of structuring an essay properly without assistance. 

having adhd in school means being tired all the time. always having a headache, tired, sore eyes, having every loud noise cut into your ears like a knife after a few hours in class. having adhd is most likely developing the first symptoms of an anxiety disorder or a depression before you’ve left elementary school. and that means being hyper-aware of your surroundings, of who’s looking at you, if someone is talking about you, all the time. plus constant catastrophic thoughts - which in combination with the rapid thoughts of adhd means that you will always have a small knot in your stomach over the next challenge you will face, your next humiliation, when you will be reminded of all your inadequacies next. 

it also means having no social life, because how can you hang out with people and make friends after school when you are literally ready to pass out the minute the bell rings. it means being ashamed of your grades because you now that you could do so much better, that you have the knowledge and skillset for performing much better than you do, but you turned in your chemistry report a day late because you didn’t understand the instructions and you spent most of the time working on it crying and hyperventilating in front of your computer screen. it means blaming yourself because you think the reason you’re performing so bad is that you’re just lazy, and if you could just pull yourself together and set your mind to it, you could be just as good as the all the other kids in your class! at everything! it’s developing performance anxiety in a very early age because of this. 

having adhd in school is hell. it’s torture. you’re exhausted and anxious all the time. it can screw up your life. i’m still struggling with anxiety and depression to this day. and the worst part is that i don’t know how to fix it. because i have adhd. adhd is the curse of needing a fuckload of structure, but being incapable of creating that structure yourself. adhd is answering “i don’t know” to every other question you’re asked about making school better, because you have so many emotions and words inside of you, but you can’t figure out how to organize them and share them with others. oh, and it’s also being shamed no matter if you take medication or not and it’s being told not to “build your identity” around this disorder that affects every single moment of your life, and it’s being afraid to even bring it up or ask for help because then people will just assume that you’re using it as an excuse. 

and if you’re a girl, or at least dfab and people think you’re a girl, then you can just go ahead and multiply all this by a 100, because not only will people not believe that you have adhd (typically if you have the inattentive type), but you will also be held to a much higher standard than boys in terms of handling your symptoms, and if you’re a girl with the hyperactive type of adhd who has trouble hiding those symptoms (which is all neurotypicals really want from us) then you will be demonized to a much higher degree than boys, because your symptoms are seen as unfeminine on top of just plain weird.

i don’t want to write anymore because this is making me incredibly sad to think about, but this is nowhere near enough to make you, or anyone else, understand what a challenge it is to be a student with adhd. doesn’t matter if you’r 7 or 17, it’s the same problems all the way up through the school systems, only difference is that with every year that passes you get closer and closer to breaking. 

i hope it’s ok that i answer this publicly so people might share it and add their own experiences. 

anonymous asked:

The "I love you" Eliza ad-libbed in the last scene between Clarke and Lexa has been edited out of the Netflix version of the 100. how can an audience, no matter what the ship is or what the pairing is that anyone roots for, support a show that so violently erases a canon f/f pairing? In the scheme of things this show is just like icing bullshit to enjoy in the long road straight into hell that the country is now in - but really, some1 explain this to the Queers. I'm asking u bc you're sane.

I’ve been thinking about this ask all day today, and I thought about it for hours and hours last night, trying to untangle the threads and see if I could give you any kind of answer that might be helpful.  The short answer is that I agree with you, I think that was a baffling and troubling editorial choice that makes no sense and I don’t have an explanation for it.  Because all of S3 was in the can before it started airing, we really have only two concrete pieces of evidence to go on to make any kind of assessment of what Jason might have learned from the backlash to not just Lexa but Lincoln and the Grounder massacre and the fridging of Gina and the overall Game of Thrones-ification of the show; those were A) the choice not to use the Jasper suicide which they wrote and shot, and B) to ADR the “I love you.”  I think both of those were the right decision and seemed to reflect an attempt to repair some of the hurt the show had caused to many vulnerable populations, so I’m as in the dark as you are about why they didn’t keep it.  If you’re asking me whether I think that was a bad idea, yes, I absolutely do.  [EDIT TO ORIGINAL POST: according to this tweet from the writers, it’s possible that was a mistake and is being fixed.]

The anger you still feel about Lexa’s death comes through every word you wrote, and of course in between all of those lines there’s a pain that for many people goes far, far deeper than just one character on one television show.  It’s about what the media we consume tells us about who we are, about what we’re worth, about what we deserve or are allowed to hope for.  All of that is real, and all of that is profound and true, and I am not here to talk you out of that anger or take it away from you.

It is a scary time to be queer in America.  (Are you in America?  It feels perhaps from the phrasing of your message like you are.)  I’m queer too, and I’m right here with you.  I’m terrified of Mike Pence.  I’m terrified of a government that wants to overturn marriage equality.  I’m terrified about how many young trans people are in fear for their lives, contemplating self-harm or have already committed suicide because they see no hope for their future.

And yes, absolutely the media we consume feeds into those fears.  Human beings think in story.  We see ourselves, our lives, as narratives.  We are the only species capable of imagination, of storytelling; it’s a cognitive function unique to us.  And the stories other people tell us about ourselves shape the place we see for ourselves in the world, in both good ways and bad.  It’s why advertising messages about the narrow restrictions upon female beauty are so pernicious and it’s also why Hamilton has awakened a new level of academic engagement in students of color learning American history.

So I’m not here to take your hurt and anger away from you.  I’m not here to diminish the fact that the death of this character caused you pain which is real and actual and cannot be wished away by saying “it’s just TV, get over it.”

And yet.

(You knew there was going to be an “and yet.”)

When I strip everything else away, the question inside this question, at its heart, appears to be this:

“How can you still be watching this show?”

And in my answer to that I’m going to gently push back on you a little bit, because I think you are tough enough to handle it and because I believe the fact that you asked me this question means you want a genuine answer.

My answer is that the death of Lexa is one piece of a complicated whole.

There are certainly people who stopped watching the show after her death, and I don’t judge or blame or criticize those people.  That is a perfectly valid choice and I understand it.  I stopped watching Game of Thrones after the Sansa thing, where a pair of male showrunners took source material that was already excessively violent towards women, and added another BRAND-NEW, NOT-EVEN-IN-THE-BOOKS rape storyline for one of my favorite characters.  It felt gratuitous and unnecessary and it was the last straw on top of a heap of straws and there are enough other great shows out there that I just lost interest in committing any more time to a show that made me feel like that.  I know there are people who feel the same way about The 100, and that’s fine.  But what I think is really important is that we all give each other free permission to continue to make our own sets of choices.  I have a lot of smart, progressive feminist friends who still watch Game of Thrones, and it doesn’t diminish their feminist bona fides to me; they see the show for what it is, they watch it with a critical eye, they discuss its flaws honestly.  But it doesn’t make me a better person than they are because something was a dealbreaker for me that was not a dealbreaker for them.  It just means we all respond differently to the art and media we consume.

You framed your question to me in terms of ship pairings – that is, how could anyone of any ship continue to watch this show after Lexa’s death – and I’m going to gently challenge you to consider that many, many people who continue to love this show do so for reasons that aren’t about that.

About two months ago I put out a call on Twitter for people to tweet me their reflections on which characters on The 100 represented them, and why.  (Here’s a link to the whole thread.)  The stories I heard were extraordinary.  There were people who have lived for years with chronic pain who saw themselves in Raven’s desperate search for escape from suffering, or people with physical disabilities and impairments who cried when Emori told Jaha and ALIE that she didn’t have any defects.  There were people who related to Bellamy because they too had to parent a younger sibling when they were still children themselves, or who were of Tunisian descent and had never seen themselves on television before until Luna, or who were excited to see Monty defy “desexualized Asian male” tropes to finally get a love interest.  There were people who resonated with Octavia’s feeling that she doesn’t belong anywhere, or with Jasper’s struggle with depression and PTSD, or with Kane’s complex journey to learn how to let people in.  There were so many girls who wrote in and said that Clarke and Abby’s relationship helped them understand their own mothers better.  There were people who talked about Clarke’s bisexuality, about the relationship between Miller and Bryan, and yes, of course, about Lexa, as powerful examples of unique representation that helped them feel more comfortable in their own sexuality and sometimes even their own coming-out process.

I cried when I read those tweets.  It was overwhelming, the profoundly intimate and personal stories that people shared with me, and which were shared later with the cast, several of whom thanked us and were really moved by the responses.  And so the place where I’m going to challenge you a little bit is to ask you whether, because a character who provided representation to so many people is now gone, does that invalidate all those other kinds of representation?  Does that make the show, as a whole, not worth supporting?  And frankly, to me, that comes down to a personal choice we each make for ourselves that is not a fair thing to legislate upon others.

I think it is dangerous to make the assumption that people who still watch the show are doing so blindly or uncritically.  I know people who review this show for media outlets, and other people like me who host podcasts about it, and our affection for the show and the characters doesn’t prevent us from seeing its failings clearly.  I also think it’s dangerous to assume that the choice of whether to continue watching the show or not is solely about ships and fave pairings.  There are a lot of reasons why people continue to enjoy and support this show, and I think it can be helpful to step back and take the long view.  For me, I find it refreshing that I have never in my life with any show been asked to care about so few straight white men.  There are basically only two left – Jasper and Murphy – and even though Jasper is straight and white I would argue that he was given one of the most beautifully-executed representation arcs the show has ever done, because the writers let his grief look like what grief really looks like.  It’s ugly and messy and it makes you make bad choices and push your friends away and sometimes turns you into an asshole and any possible escape looks appealing, from drinking too much to taking ALIE’s magic chip.  I can’t think of another show on television that leans so little on the straight white man’s perspective.  That’s something I value deeply about this show, and even when it fucks up on issues of racism, sexism and homophobia – which it absolutely, unequivocally has done – it doesn’t erase that for me.

That is a personal choice, and I know it is not everybody’s, and I think it’s crucial that we all make those choices for ourselves and allow others to do the same.

The way the deaths of Lincoln and Lexa were handled is inexcusable, something we’ve discussed at length on the Meta Station podcast and which I’ve blogged about before.  Never will I ever fight you on that.  And if for you, the death of Lexa makes this a show you can no longer support, I would never judge you for that.  But I don’t think people who DO choose to still watch the show should be judged for that either, nor is it helpful or constructive to assume that everyone who is still watching the show is blindly complicit in the show’s worst choices.

I think the reality of being a queer person is that we live in a world that wants to do us harm, and when the art and media we hope will be a safe space for us turns out not to be, it feels like we can’t trust anyone.  I understand that feeling and I empathize with it and I’m standing right here with you in the “what the fuck”-ness of it all.  I think the reason this ask has stuck with me and I’ve been thinking about your words over and over again since you sent it is because there is such genuine real-world pain that radiates out from it and you know, I know, we all know, that when we’re talking about television shows we’re never just talking about television shows. 

But the answer to your question about “how can anyone still be watching this show?” is that there are still millions of people who see themselves represented in this story, including many queer people, and all of those voices matter.  I think it’s important that we hold the show accountable and that we all be thoughtful critics of the media we consume, but I still think the stories this show is telling have value and are worth being told.

I’m not sure if anyone will agree, but I’ve been thinking about this since Tuesday, and I think that the lie about Skye wasn’t the only seriously damaging moment to Fitzsimmons in 02x12. I think the moment that Jemma discovers “the simulation” (which is actually Skye’s real blood analysis) and gets excited about it was another significant blow to their progress. I don’t think it’s an overt moment, especially since the narrative concentrates on Simmons’ hurt in the moment (rightfully so), but I think they both were very hurt in that exchange and it’s going to lead to more pain down the road until they talk things out (alone!).

So, let’s remember where both characters are at this juncture. (Disclaimer: I am trying to explain what I believe is each character’s perspective, not whether I find it wrong or right.) 

Fitz, despite their improved communication in light of disaster, still believes that Jemma left him during his worst because she couldn’t handle being with him after he had changed. Not only is he no longer able to be her intellectual equal, he also made her uncomfortable enough with his feelings that she couldn’t handle being with him. I think this position solidified in Fitz’s mind because when he confronted her with her lies and asks why she left (02x06), Jemma refuses to talk about it. When she does try to explain her before the mission in 02x09, Fitz refuses to let her speak because he thinks she is going to lie again - that she will tell him a kind truth because she pities him. That is why he doesn’t let her speak and insists on going to the garage, so that he can give her that out.

Jemma, on the other hand, is struggling to do everything she possibly can to help Fitz. She’s putting all of her own feelings of trauma, hurt and frustration on the back-burner, smiling at him whenever he looks at her because she just needs to be strong for him. But, she’s at an impasse because her leaving clearly wounded him deeply and now he won’t let her explain herself, but then being around him and trying to act normal is met with resistance and anger. Anything and everything she does doesn’t work, and I think not only is that painful on an emotional level for her, but I don’t think Jemma Simmons had failed so much despite utilizing every option she has available. Jemma is desperate to try and fix things with Fitz because she wants him back (and I think she does really miss old Fitz too), but finds every action of hers rebuffed, regardless of what it is. 

So now, for at least a little while, things are going more normally between them. They’re talking, even finishing each other’s sentences, not scurrying away from each other. Fitz is probably feeling better (despite having to lie about Skye) because he’s starting to see that maybe Jemma is ok with him the way he is. Jemma seems to be so thrilled because Fitz is stuttering less around her, he’s allowing her to help him, they’re working together - finally something she is doing is going right.

And then - the simulation

Jemma gets so excited about it because it shows her progress! He’s clearly healing so much if he can do something this amazing. And she compliments him; she’s so happy because it’s almost like old times with them being excited about scientific discoveries together. But then Fitz immediately rebuffs her and closes himself off, and she’s hit with that cold, hard reality that still, nothing she does is right. And she can’t predict how to handle him at all. Fitz still doesn’t want to be close to her (and then she finds out he lied….).

But to Fitz, Jemma gets truly excited around him for the first time because she thinks that he did something smart. Jemma saw the old him in that moment and he saw that, and it hurts because he’s not the old him and can never be. And I think that adds to why he lashes out at her at the end. Because to him it was just another reminder that Jemma really actually valued the old Fitz, and that’s no longer who he is.

And the worst problem is that they still do know each other so deeply and intimately and they assume that they’re interpreting the other’s actions correctly here because they do in every other situation. They see so much and yet they’re so blind - it’s heartbreaking.