and i'm not going to be able to do this every day

Bon Voyage S2 Ep.8 - BTS’ letters to each other

YOONGI → SEOKJIN

“To. Jinjinjara, Seokjin-hyung!!

It’s your forever roommate, Suga.

Can you believe I have known you for 7 years… I remember when I met you for the first time. I’m surprised and amazed that the one who used to look so upright and kind… has become very bright and cheerful these days. I believe it’s because you’re with us. It seems like just yesterday you were nervous and not confident when you had to sing and perform on stage, but seeing your performance these days makes me think you sing really well. It’s no doubt the result of working hard for a long time. Even though I have been watching you for a long time, it still touched me how you secretly work hard to make up what you lack in. I thought of you as a hyung whom I have a lot to learn from. Let’s keep going together for a long time in the future too.

P.S: But I hope you can act your age.”

SEOKJIN → JUNGKOOK

“To. JK

Hi JK, it’s hyung.

I’m always thankful to you. Thanks for having the same mental age as this 26-year-old hyung. And traveling with you this time made me feel this once again. Your fists are really strong. I will be good to you, don’t hit me, got it? And your face got tanned a lot. As I’m your hyung I’ll give you facial masks when we get back to Korea. Calm your skin and yourself as well, stop lying on my bed. You keep lying on my bed when I’m not there and send me your selfies. If you do that one more time, your face may have got tanned in Hawaii, but I’ll throw you into the fire pit in Korea. And by “fire pit” I mean my firey heart. You can come into my big embrace. Thanks for always becoming our team’s teacher and energizer. To Jungkook who’s kind and handsome and strong and has nice body and big eyes and sings well and dances well, I love you.”

JUNGKOOK → NAMJOON

“To. Namjoonie-hyung

Hi hyung, it’s our team’s maknae, Jungkook.

I’m not the type to write letters often so I don’t know where to start, but I’ll try this time. This is something I always think about every day, but I really am inspired a lot by our team. Although I’m inspired by all 7 members, but I’m especially inspired the most by you. I always want to do a lot of things but can’t stick to them long, like how you guys always joke with me. But gradually, it feels like I really became that kind of person. When you work, talk about music, compose or speak in English, I feel like I grew a sense of confidence and passion. I know it must be tired for you, but please keep showing me your that cool side of yours in the future. I will keep following you from behind. You are a really awesome person.”

TAEHYUNG → JIMIN

“To Jimin.

Hi Jimin.

It cringes me a little to write a serious letter to you like this, but I’ll try. Hope you understand. When we were trainees, we came to Seoul without knowing anything. We would wake up, put on uniforms, go to school together, eating together after school ends, go to the practice room together, go back to the dorm together, and chat together at night. 6 years passed and unknowingly, you have become my dearest precious friend. There was a time before we debuted when you were anxious because of the debut. I had a meeting with the company at that time. They asked me “What would it be if Jimin was on the team?”. After thinking for a while, I said, “There’s no one who’s by my side when I’m tired or happy to laugh and cry with me but Jimin. I hope such a friend could be by my side. I want us to debut together.” It felt good to say that. I’m happy that we was able debut together and make lots of good memories. And sorry, because I’m always the one who take. Even know, you still cry with me when I cry in the bathroom, laugh with me when we sneak out at dawn, care about me and think of me, work hard because of me and understand me, listen to my worries, liking someone who’s lacking so much like me. Let’s keep walking together on the flower path for a long time. I love you, my friend.”

NAMJOON → TAEHYUNG

“Taehyung-ah.

So my first letter is to you. I have mixed emotions. Like the pebbles on the beach we saw in Hawaii, it’s hard to pick out what I want to say to you. Maybe it’s because we’re cherishing so many memories and so many moments like the sea we saw? I thought of the time when I first met you. Seeing you following your father, roaming around the dorm with big eyes and pouty lips, I already felt it from first sight. “This kid will be a rascal”. I remember how anxious you were before we debuted. Your unique and strange character is so vague that I sometimes questioned what’s in you that helped you endure all the way here. But as time passes and I mature more, I learned that even I, who I myself thought was the most normal, am quite strange and unique like an alien. I was drawn by your strangeness. Sometimes I really envy you. Because you can get close easily to anyone and everyone likes you. Your strangeness proved to be your unique charm. It may sound cringeworthy, but as a friend, a hyung who have been with you from the beginning of your trainee journey to now, I wanted to say thank you to you. Thank you for not becoming a farmer, not playing saxophone and came to Big Hit instead. Let’s keep up the good work. Fighting.”

HOSEOK → YOONGI

“To. My bro Suga
From. J-hope

Hi hyung? It’s Hoseok.

Without realizing, we have been together for 7 years, including our trainee days. When I first moved to the dorm, I was awkward and unfamiliar with everything, so I only stayed in the living room, but you came and talk to me first, helped me relax. I still can’t forget that time. You were like the savior to me, a Gwangju kid. Always by my side when I’m hurt, always by my side when I’m sad. You’re always there to support me and become my strength when I’m tired or exhausted. When I was tired from seasickness in Bon Voyage 2 this time, the first one I saw after opening my eyes was you. I couldn’t say then but I was really grateful to you. Through this letter and this chance, I want to tell you again that my gratitude to you is as great as the time we spent together. Hyung, thank you for becoming a member of BTS, thank you for becoming my dependable brother. Please keep staying by my side forever. I love my bro.”

JIMIN → HOSEOK

“To. Hoseokie-hyung

This wasn’t my first letter to you so I thought it wouldn’t be hard, but it was indeed not easy. I’m nervous. You’re the one whom I talk and share a lot with so think you’ll know well what I think and what I want to say. What do I think when I see you? “This person is really truthful and sincere”, “This person is really upright and kind”. You are probably the first one that made me understand a person can become this cool just by being truthful and sincere. As your brother and fellow member, I have a lot to learn from you. I wanted to tell you that I know you are always working hard to take care of us and I’m always sincerely thankful to you. Thank you, hyung. I hope you can take care of your body and stop worrying too much. To my hyung who I’m always thankful for, I love you.”

anonymous asked:

can you make a checklist on how to get into the gorillaz?? It seems like there is a lot out there and its hard to follow when i'm getting into it late.. thank you!!

Sure!!! I personally got into them by watching their G-bitez and music videos and it all kinda spiraled from there.

The band itself was made by Damon Albarn (Lead singer of Blur, does vocals and writes lyrics for Gorillaz) and Jamie Hewlett (Co-creator of the comic book “Tank Girl”, draws and animates for Gorillaz) after they were both watching MTV and they were like “hey music today sucks you know what’d be cool?? if we made an animated band” “cool we could call it ‘gorilla’ because we were both born on the year of the monkey!!!” sadly animal planet had already copyrighted “gorilla” so they just added a z to the end of it to make it cooler.

Here’s a playlist of all of their music videos/unfinished storyboards i put together (they’re all in order according to the storyline, but keep in mind that “do ya thing” isn’t canon): https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLupIZC02E6mRz_uqFp8BiLuEZ3-ZUjJZB

Here’s a list of all of their interviews I’ve been able to find (You can learn a lot about the characters from these babies): https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLupIZC02E6mT1RKRtEIu2RA4AraQnGnqu

Aaand here’s a list of all of their songs (there’s a bunch). Every one of them sorted from oldest to newest, every song after “We’ve got the power” is either a demo, rare or unreleased: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLupIZC02E6mTeUgeN3TVDF1kUgM11wlFI

Something to know about Gorillaz is that they have “phases”. Phase 1 was in 2001, when they released their albums “Gorillaz”, “G-Sides” and “Laika come home”. Phase 1′s art style was cartoonish and used very thick lineart. Phase 2 was in 2005, when they released “Demon Days” and “D-sides”. Phase 2′s art style was a bit dark and looked more realistic. Phase 3 was in 2010, when they released the albums “Plastic Beach” and “The Fall” in 2011. Phase 3′s art style was almost the same as phase 2′s. Then we have Phase 4 in 2017, their new album “Humanz” is coming out April 28th. It’s art style is the one that stands out the most to me, you can find most of the art on Jamie Hewlett’s Instragram (Hewll)

Alright, a big part of me getting into the fandom was my love fore the characters. I’m assuming you’re not a fan yet, so let me introduce them to you (i’m going to use powerpoints to explain each member if u don’t mind):

This lovely lad here is Murdoc Faust Niccals.

- He’s the band’s leader/bassist, and he makes sure EVERYONE knows that’s it’s his band and only his.
- He went through multiple other bands before he formed Gorillaz.
- He was born on June 6th, 1966 in Stoke-on-Trent, England. As an infant he was abandoned on his father’s doorstep.
- Had a very rough childhood, his father, Sebastian Niccals, would force him to preform on stage for booze money and it was absolutely humiliating for him.
- His nose has been broken a of total 8 times. The first time was from a bully at his school, the 2nd time was from his older (and only) brother, Hannibal, because Murdoc had touched his records and the other 6 times were from Russel when he got caught “doing it” with 2D’s now ex-girlfriend in the bathroom stalls of Kong Studios
- His middle name was originally “Alphonse” but he changed it to “Faust” after making a deal with the Devil in phase 1 to make Gorillaz the “biggest band in the world”. That’s also how he got his bass, “El Diablo”.
- did i mention he was a satanist bc he is
- He hangs around in his underwear a lot (especially in phase 2)
- He likes to either get naked or start pelvic thrusting in like every video, so be careful, young anon.
- He’s very crude but sometimes he can be very nice and adorable in some interviews ??? It’s so weird
- He likes making weird noises, like, a lot.
- Apparently can speak French and Spanish
- His reason for turning green all of the sudden in phase 2 is either because of alcohol poisoning or due to him tanning himself green. Jamie himself said that it’s because he’s an immortalist and his skin is now rotting but I’m not sure how true it is.
- He had a pet raven in phase 2!!! His name was Cortez and no one really
knows what happened to him but Murdoc seemed to love that bird.
- He also had a cape in phase 2 that he loved and wore like all the time but he lost it. Poor baby.
- He was based off of a young 1960′s era Keith Richards.
- He has a tongue longer than Gene Simmons’ and I’m not even kidding. His tongue is like a foot long
- His genuine laugh can cure cancer
- He had his own MTV cribs episode
- Here’s a playlist of every interview he’s been in if you’d like to know a bit more about how he acts.
- All of this sounds horrible but like half of the fandom sees him as charming and funny and the other half sees him as repulsive and downright mean so i guess listen to some of his interviews and make your decision (i’m part of the half that loves him)

This is 2D!!

- He’s the band’s singer, sometimes he plays the piano and melodica too.
- He’s anxious and a bit timid around people. He’s not that intelligent, but he’s an absolute sweetheart to pretty much everyone. He’s … a huge dork.
- He was born on May 23rd, 1978.  He was born in Hertfordshire, England and was raised in Crawley, England. When he was 10 he fell out of a tree and landed on his head, his hair fell out and grew back blue. He’s had horrible headaches since then, but his mother was a nurse and gave pills to help him out.
- His real name is Stuart Pot
- He loves horror films!!! Especially zombie movies.
- Apparently he smells like butterscotch
- He’s VERY tall. he’s like 6′1 and his legs make up most of his body. He towers over the rest of the band.
- His voice actor is Nelson De Freitas, but Damon Albarn provides his singing voice
- The lack of his two front teeth gives him an adorable accent
- He has a crippling fear of whales
- His eyes are black due to an 8-ball fracture that Murdoc gave him before the band was made when he crashed his car into the music store 2D worked at.
- His eyes turn white when he’s stressed or scared.
- His nickname “2D” stands for “Two Dents”. He’s called that because Murdoc’s car crash also gave him two dents in his head.
- Murdoc is seen physically abusing 2D throughout phase 1-3, but there’s a very likely chance that he’s going to stop and make amends in phase 4!!!
- Here’s a playlist of interviews that he’s been in
- Everybody loves him. I love him. I don’t think it’s possible not to love him.


This is Russel Hobbs!!

- He’s the band’s drummer.  He makes remixes too!!!
- The living embodiment of “looks like he could kill you but is actually a cinnamon roll”
- Quite possibly the most underrated character in the world
- He was born in Brooklyn, New York on June 3rd, 1975. He got possessed by a demon as a kid and fell into a coma for four years. After he woke up the demon got expelled tho
- When he was a teen, him and his friends were involved in a drive-by shooting. Russel was the only survivor and all of his friends possessed him, but the only one we really get to see is his closest friend, Del, he raps in Clint Eastwood and Rock the House, but we haven’t seen him since phase 1. 
- Russel misses Del very dearly, poor lad.
- After the whole shooting incident he was sent to the UK to live with his uncle.
- HE SAVED 2D FROM BEING EATEN BY A WHALE. HE’S SO UNDERAPPRECIATED 
- He’s an actual giant in phase 3 because he ate some radioactive algae 
- He loves fezzes!!!
- His hobby, besides music, is taxidermy.
- He’s the dad friend
- Here’s a playlist of interviews that he’s been in

Last but not least, this is Noodle

- She plays guitar for the band. She also sings and writes songs sometimes
- Noodle is very energetic and nice but she can also kick your ass
- She was born in Osaka, Japan on October 31st 1990
- She joined the band when she was around 10 but she’s like 26 now. I forgot to mention that the band ages with real time
- As a kid she was a part of a classified child super solider project under the management of a japanese scientist named Mr. Kyuzo. this is where she learned how to be badass. She knew professional karate at like 10 how cool is that
- All of the children in that project were deemed too unstable and dangerous, so they canceled the experiment and Mr. Kyuzo was ordered to kill all of the children (fuckin dark i know). After killing them all, Mr. Kyuzo was reluctant to kill Noodle, so instead he put her in a state of amnesia and smuggled her to the UK by shipping her to Kong Studios in a FedEx crate.
- She didn’t remember anything!!! The only english thing she was able to say to say was “noodle” and that’s where she got her name.
- She learned how to speak english and remembered her past in phase 2.
- Murdoc, 2D and Russel raised her (mostly russel tho). Noodle considers Murdoc and 2D her brothers and Russel considers her his daughter how CUTE IS THAT
- She loves Pokemon
- She had a flying windmill island in phase 2 it was incredible
- She had a cute radio helmet in phase 1 
- She also has a robot version of herself called “Cyborg Noodle” in phase 3. It’s a long story but Cyborg might be coming back for phase 4.
- The interviews that she’s in can be found here!!

The backstory is too long for me to write down, but you can find it over here! I hope i explained everything clearly- if not, or if you have any questions, feel free to send me a message!! I hope this helps you c:

Thoughts and theories post S307

We got a clue to how the different dimensions work. These three dudes are obviously iterations of the same Rick who all encountered the same event in varying degrees of severity. It could just be that these three dimensions are right next to each other, but the numbering convention suggests that they’re true splits from one original dimension, caused by that event. 

If that’s true, it means that every time a major event occurs, timelines splinter into different offshoot possibilities. The Ricks that stay most “normal” keep their original dimension number and the others take on an iteration of that number based on the level of divergence. This also helps account for how the population of the citadel bounced back so quickly after the massacre in S301. As time goes on more splits in dimensions means a constant influx of more Ricks and Mortys.

Not every rick invents the portal gun. The portal gun is rick’s ultimate source of power and what allows the citadel to exist. From what we learned from the half-truths in S301′s portal gun origin backstory, Ricks ostensibly go from dimension to dimension giving portal technology to other Ricks rather than each Rick inventing it on his own. Plus we saw in the last episode that the Mortytown Rick tries and fails to make portal fluid, and cop Rick calls it out “bootleg,” plus the factory Rick demands a portal gun because he must not be able to make one of his own. 

For the Ricks that didn’t invent their own, portal fluid and guns are regulated and not allowed to all Ricks freely. It begs the question of how many Ricks actually invented the portal gun on their own. In theory, it would only take just one figuring it out and then sharing it with all the others.

More evidence for Evil Morty = Rick’s original Morty. This has been a fan theory since Evil Morty first showed up but after S307 the evidence is even stronger. Evil Morty dodges questions about his original dimension and Rick, instead diverting with “we moved around a lot.” That basically leaves the door wide open for the reveal of him being Rick’s og Morty.

Plus, if the moving around part wasn’t a lie, that means he and Rick skipped universes Cronenberg-style more than once (Rick did say he’d pulled that stunt before). Think how disillusioned just one dimension move made our Morty, it’s no wonder Evil Morty turned into what he is if he went through multiple ruined dimensions. Beyond that, our Morty has been shown to be getting more jaded and downright cruel this season, enough that people were thinking he was turning into Evil Morty. If our Morty has devolved into his current state with just being around our Rick for a few years, imagine how the Morty our Rick was around since when he was a baby would have turned out.

Cop Rick is alive for a reason. He killed Cop Morty and turned himself in expecting to be shot off into space, but in the end he’s released by Ricks under evil Morty’s control. Him being alive still is not insignificant, even if just for the narrative and character implications more than plot reasons. 

Cop Rick’s first instinct is to trust. He trusted the Morty in the room with the crib. He trusted Cop Morty to do the right thing. He wants to believe in true justice and the goodness in people, and acts on that belief no matter the outcome for him. 

The real gut punch is he’s not just an outlier. He shows that Ricks do have an infallible sense of justice when it’s not smothered out by narcissism and nihilism. We’ve seen that our Rick, despite being an asshole, will choose to do the right thing- even if it’s the hard thing- at crucial moments: He puts the collar on Morty instead of himself when they’re falling to their deaths in the void, he turns himself in to the Galactic Federation in order to save his family. 

Cop Rick is still alive because he’s the hero our Rick would be if he wasn’t such a jaded asshole. He’s the proof that despite everything, Rick is at his core trying to be good. Maybe that kind of Rick is valuable to Evil Morty, or maybe it was just valuable to us to see this side of Rick so explicitly.

Evil Morty wants control. Evil Morty is living the ideal Morty existence, in control of himself and the universe around him. It’s all he’d want after a life where Rick was always in control, where he could do nothing to stop the machinations of the universe from nearly crushing him every adventure. As we saw really plainly with Copy Morty, when a Morty gets enough knowledge, experience, and freedom, they can’t stand being treated like sidekicks anymore. No wonder the Ricks put them in a school designed not to teach them to be more competent on adventures but instead to keep them helpless and subservient. 

It’s easy enough to follow the same trend in our Morty. He’s been fighting for more control all season– He chooses not to try to rescue Rick from prison. He’s fine with going against Rick’s plan in the Mad Max world. He’s the one who makes them go on the adventure with the Vindicators (and Rick loses his shit when he doesn’t get to be the only one saving the day anymore). And perhaps most telling, Morty’s ideal toxin-free self abandons Rick entirely and creates a situation where his whole job is to manipulate and control other people. 

Evil Morty is what happens when Morty’s struggle for power goes to it’s furthest degree. He wanted so bad to not be the sidekick anymore that he’d do anything, even if it meant becoming the villain. 

between the devil & the deep blue sea (m)

cr. 

Words: 28,455. (rip)

Genre: Pirate Jimin au + smut, fluff, angst.

Pairing: Jimin x Reader.

Summary: “No matter the endeavour you were on, no matter the storms you encountered on rocky seas, or the possible threat of encountering blood-thirsty pirates, no one intrigued you or intimidated you more than the thought of him, of Park Jimin, the most notorious of pirates, the most brutal of men, the devil incarnate.”

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[translations] 2017.07.06 NCT 127 First Anniversary Event fan accounts - Rolling Paper

Taeil -> Johnny
Chicago monster bro. I love your physiques, are you perhaps a model? Thank you for always looking out for the rest of the members by taking on the role of the middle man. [chewchew_do]

Taeil -> Taeyong
Your features are so beautiful. Your eyes nose lips, no, I love everything about you [cheetahparrot]

Taeil -> Yuta
Yukkuri ….. ????? (fan accounts say that yuta was laughing so hard that he couldn’t read it)

Taeil -> Doyoung
How are you? Cutie. Every time I see your shoulders I think you are so handsome. I’m fine thank you bro [dukduk0614]

Taeil -> Jaehyun
Jaehyun I like your burning passion, in the future please burn that bright and pass the passion on to the remaining members as well [chin9deura]

Taeil -> Winwin
Ni Hao, Dong Si Cheng. I heard you play games really badly, practice more. Anyway you are so cute. I think you have gotten used to living in Korea, and gotten close with the members. Dong Si Cheng, Wo Ai Ni [nct_victory]

Taeil -> Mark
Cute. You are so cute. I can always feel a lot of things when I’m with you. Thank you bro [markleezzang]

Taeil -> Haechan
Our Lee Haechan who usually joke a lot but lately you became quiet. However now I like how you are joking around again. We nag at you is because we like you. I’m thankful that you are doing the role of the maknae well, and became the mood-maker too. Bye bye I love you [xzzanx]

Johnny -> Taeil
I am an only child in the family. But because hyung was by my side I was able to feel how is it like to have an older brother. I feel really happy and secured with hyung by my side. I am always thankful for that. Even though hyung don’t express it, but I know you like me a lot. I love you hyung. [chin9deura]

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anonymous asked:

Hello! These blogs are so super helpful, and yours is here just in time for me to begin writing my story! So thank you so much for your help in advance. I'm writing a story about a soldier that was captured during war. Part of the story is him struggling to trust his therapist enough to open up about what happened. During this time where he refuses to talk to anyone, how would PTSD affect his everyday actions, his thoughts, etc.? Thank you so much. I really appreciate it. Have a great weekend!!!

Hooboy. I’m going to just list several symptoms of PTSD and explain how they would each drain his energy and limit his ability to do things and how to include these in your writing. 

1. Hyper-Arousal

  • Hyper-vigilance: Every little sound and shadow is going to make his brain go into overdrive. It is going to kick his fight-or-flight mode on high and its almost never going to calm down. This is EXTREMELY draining. His brain and body is going to be a coiled spring, ready for danger, at all times. This is physically exhausting and drains spoons incredibly quickly. 
    • Some ways this will change his daily life - he won’t be able to spend as much time in crowds or even just outside his house because there is too much stimulation for him to handle for to long. He probably won’t sleep well because again, all those little noises houses make at night is going to make him panic and lose more spoons - he could combat this by getting a white noise machine. 
  • Emotional Outbursts: Many individuals with PTSD may experience unstable emotional states. 
    • It wouldn’t be odd for him to suddenly feel very angry or irritable with no recognizable reason or target. He may also swing the other way and start crying without any warning. These episodes are extremely draining and there frequency may prevent your character from getting things done. 
  • Lack of Concentration: High levels of distraction, the hyper-vigilance, the adrenaline constantly running through his body is going to make if difficult for your character to concentration for an extended period of time.
    • This lack of concentration may make it difficult for your character to work, attend school, do homework or fill out things like medical forms for doctors appointments. This could lead to him pushing such appointments back because he is unable to prepare for them.

2. Avoidance 

  • Situational Avoidance: Your character is going to try to avoid any situation that might remind him of his trauma.
    • If he was in a tank that was bombed, he may go out of his way to avoid driving. If something happened in a wooded area, he may take a longer route to avoid a similar area because it reminds him of his trauma. This could make your character miss deadlines, appointment times, or cause a significant amount of time to be dedicated to this avoidance which means other things will not get done. 
  • Social Isolation: Another type of avoidance is social avoidance - this means your character may avoid his family and friends, either because he doesn’t have the energy to be social or being around other people cause him to panic. Being forced into these situations would drain his energy very quickly.
    • This may cause him to avoid things like birthday celebrations, holiday parties, any type of gathering. These events are going to be extremely exhausting as your character is already tired and the amount of people and noise are going to exhaust him. 
    • Something else that might influence his social isolation is his PTSD influencing his view of other people - he may begin to mistrust others and feel as if the world is a dangerous place. This mindset is extraordinarily draining and would significantly impact his energy levels. 
  • Triggers: Triggers are sights, sounds, smells, situations, items; pretty much anything that reminds your character of his trauma. 
    • Before he is aware of his triggers, he will most likely stumble upon many of them and suffer from flashbacks or anxiety attacks, which is extremely exhausting.
    • When he knows his triggers, he is going to try his best to avoid them, which may mean changing his routine, getting up earlier to go shopping when it is quieter, not going to fun events like fairs or the movies because he doesn’t want to fun into a trigger. 
    • Triggers are often unavoidable or unexpected, prompting exhausting anxiety attacks or flashbacks multiple times a day, eating up time to get things done and exhausting your character.
      • Consider what his trauma consists of - does it involve guns? If so, it might not be just real guns that can trigger an anxiety attack or flashback. Plastic guns, guns in movies or TV shows, sounds that are similar like a car backfiring or fireworks, the smell of gunpowder, even just something that shoots something, like a Nerf Gun. Think through his potential triggers and then think about all the situations those could be found in - he is going to have to schedule his entire day around avoiding these triggers, especially when he is not actively working with his therapist on his trauma at this point.

3. Flashbacks/Remembering the Trauma

  • Nightmares: When he does fall asleep, he is most likely going to have nightmares. 
    • He may or may not remember the specifics of the nightmare, but he will most likely wake up in a panic, shaking, sweating. It’s going to take him a long time to fall back to sleep, if he even does. If he does fall back to sleep, it may be a very tense sleep, waking up frequently and not allowing his body to relax - this means he is going to wake up in the morning already exhausted, anxious, and running on panic. 
  • Flashbacks: Flashbacks are often one of the stereotypical symptoms of PTSD, however they are extremely common. Flashbacks may happen multiple times a day, at varying severity each time. 
    • One type of flashback is an emotional flashback - these flashbacks only affect the individuals emotional state, not their senses. So if your character is triggered and reminded of his trauma, his emotional state may quickly move to match the emotional state during the trauma - so intense fear, adrenaline, anger, sadness. These intense episodes that may come at anytime, last up to an hour, and are extremely exhausting. 
    • The common type of flashbacks you see in media are sometimes called ‘full flashbacks’ or ‘psychological flashbacks’. This is when the brain believes that it is back during the traumatic event, and the individuals senses - sight, hearing, smell, taste - are going to be taken back to the moment of the trauma. Your character will not be fully in reality at the time and any attempts to touch or otherwise break the individual out of the flashback could result in a negative or fearful reaction. These flashbacks can also last a significant amount of time and be draining. 

Now, you said that this was before your character began working with his therapist, but these symptoms won’t go away suddenly. As your character begins to work through his trauma and develop coping skills, these symptoms may decrease in severity or disappear all together eventually. However, some PTSD sufferers will always have some of these symptoms and have to cope with them. 

I hope this helps!

- Mod Riley

an open letter to my body:

dear eyes,
i’m sorry.
i’m sorry for thinking that the deep brown curious hue of your essence was every anything less than magical.
i’m sorry that my entire life your every cell has worked to let me see the beauty in the world, and all I’ve ever done is put you down.
and they say that you never know how beautiful brown eyes are until you’ve loved someone who has them,
but I should’ve loved myself first.
and for that I am sorry.

dear hair,
i’m sorry.
i’m sorry for every time I resented the way you refuse to stay put, for believing that the best way to love you was to tame you.
i’m sorry for every time I drew hatred from your tangled tendencies, for every time I wanted to chop you down with an axe simply so that you were out of the way.
you are the part of me that dances in the wind, the part of me that grows fiercely and unapologetically.
and they say that if you love something you should leave it wild.
i’m sorry for not leaving you wild.

dear breasts,
i’m sorry.
i’m sorry because you and I have fought a long, hard battle to get to where we are today.
i’m sorry for all the times I wished you were bigger, smaller, less saggy, more perky, more even, less loud.
you are the very essence of my womanhood, something that is fierce and tender and strong and brave and everything I take pride in.
i’m so sorry I ever treated you like anything less.

dear shoulders,
i’m sorry.
i’m sorry that I hid you behind long sleeves and shame for all these years.
i’m sorry that something as small and insignificant as acne could make me forget your worth.
i’m sorry for every time i stood with you hunched over instead of standing tall with pride, because the scars that you carry are constellations,
and you are as big and ethereal as the sky.

dear thighs,
i’m sorry.
i’m sorry for believing that you carried too much weight, that you were ever too large to be beautiful or sexy or wanted.
you are a mountain landscape,
protecting the valley inside with all your might and standing strong in the face of hurricanes.
you are so much more than I ever gave you credit for, and I should have wanted you all along.

dear feet,
i’m sorry.
i’m sorry for thinking you are anything less than resilient.
you have carried me to every point in my life, every up and down.
you have picked me up from every failure and the depths of hell itself.
you have never given up, even when I thought that I might.
you have stepped on glass and walked through fire to get me to where I am today, and I am forever grateful.

dear tummy,
I am so, so sorry.
i am sorry and ashamed for all the nights I cried myself to sleep because I thought you were not good enough,
I am sorry for every time I compared you, beat you down, sucked you in, tried to hide you.
I am sorry for every single time I even considered starving you.
you are where I felt the butterflies of my first love.
you expand when my voice needs to be heard.
you are the powerhouse that keeps me going, and I have treated you so, so, cruelly.
i’m sorry.

dear voice,
i am sorry.
i am sorry for all the times I let myself buy into the preconceived notion that you are not worth listening to.
i am sorry for every time i silenced you instead of letting you speak.
i am sorry for not singing more, speaking louder, yelling, screaming.
I am sorry that I ever thought I needed to hide you under my curtain of my fear of not being accepted.
you are powerful, and brave, and worth listening to.
you do not deserve to be caged, and I am sorry.

dear body,
i am sorry.
your every cell, every second of every minute of every day goes into keeping me alive.
you have loved me so well and so deeply, and I have been so blind to your worth.


I will never be able to repay you,

but I will start by choosing to love you.

anonymous asked:

Forgive me if you've been asked this already but at what moment do you think Clarke fell in love with Lexa, or realized she was in love with her? I believe Eliza had trouble answering this at a con (I think she said it was before the bow though) so I'm wondering what you think.

Mmm that’s hard to say, and honestly, that’s kinda what I love about it. Because you can’t always exactly pinpoint the moment you fall in love with someone, right? Maybe it’s a feeling that grows gradually but unstoppable, maybe it’s like a wave hitting you at once, it varies. And that’s how I think it was for Clarke.

The way I see it, it was sudden for her at first and then everything slowed down and it naturally developed. It wasn’t love yet in the beginning, but there was definitely a realization that she had feelings for Lexa. Just look at her face after storming out of Lexa’s tent in 2x14. 

Why else would she looked so bothered? If she had just been upset about their argument she would have had an angry face. Instead she looks like she’s literally trying to physically restrain her feelings, whatever they may be. She takes that deep, shaky breath in an attempt to collect herself because, what the hell just happened inside that tent? Did Lexa really just confess she has feelings for me? And why does it affect me so much? What am I feeling? This is what I think is going through her mind. And then of course we have the confirmation of this, when she gladly replies to Lexa’s kiss. Even after she rejects her, there is no indication of that being a definitive rejection. There is no feeling of “I’m sorry, but I don’t reciprocate.” Clarke is not ready for a relationship, and it’s right that she was honest with Lexa, but she rejects her in literally the softest way possible, AND leaves the door open for the future. Not yet. That means she already sees herself considering a relationship with Lexa in the future, after healing, when she’s finally ready. And look at how tender and somewhat tamely longing her gaze is even after she rejected Lexa.

She is definitely aware of her feelings for Lexa here. But then the betrayal happens and ah, they take 46 steps back.

Now, of course, Lexa’s betrayal causes Clarke to close herself off. Clarke is angry at Lexa, she’s angry at herself, she’s in pain, every other feeling pales in comparison. And obviously, so much of Clarke’s suffering is tied to what Lexa did, so it’s definitely not a surprise that romance is out of the question when they first meet again. Clarke’s pain is consuming her, she is definitely not thinking about whatever she and Lexa had. And yet…

This isn’t a romantic moment by any means. But we’re talking about Clarke realizing she loves Lexa, and I don’t think we can’t gloss over this moment. When I say that I don’t romanticize this scene, it’s because this is not a cute moment. This isn’t a “oh my God, she loves her!” moment, this moment is sad. It’s painful, it’s heartbreaking, but it’s so damn important. Clarke can’t kill Lexa here. How much easier would it be for her to shut her heart out entirely, to blame Lexa for everything and just kill her without feeling anything? I bet in that moment, a part of Clarke wants that. But Clarke feels, and she feels for Lexa. She has these feelings and they won’t go away, not even when she’s at her lowest. So yeah, not a romantic moment, but definitely essential to understand Clarke’s complicated feelings for Lexa.

After the bow, Clarke is a little more trusting towards Lexa, but she’s definitely still closed off, she’s not ready to expose her heart yet. And we get to the “I’m doing it for my people” episode, 3x04. Right from the very beginning, Clarke spends the entire episode trying to find a way to keep Lexa safe, to protect her. But every single time she voices her concerns to Lexa or hell, even Titus, her preoccupation feels far more personal than political. She’s worried, she’s agitated, she even seems angry that Lexa won’t listen to her and step away from the duel. It’s a crescendo of apprehension and frustration and anxiousness as every single one of Clarke’s attempts fails, crescendo that culminates in an emotional explosion.

The second gif is particularly telling. Titus interrupts them, the moment is gone and Clarke finds herself having to face what just happened. Look at her face, at how she looks away from Lexa and sucks a breath through her teeth. She’s restraining her feelings, but she’s a little too late this time. And it’s not only Lexa who is shaken by Clarke’s emotional outburst, it’s Clarke herself too. She doesn’t catch herself in time and now she can’t pretend with herself that those feelings aren’t there. I think this is when the true first “shift” after the betrayal happens. Clarke wants to keep Lexa at arm’s length but Lexa might very well die that same day and, despite any resolution she had, the thought terrifies Clarke. And she’s so scared that she’s never going to see Lexa again that…

I could write an essay on all the emotions Clarke experiences before and throughout and at the end of Lexa’s duel, but the gist of it is that during this tense moment, with Lexa’s life on the line, she can’t bring herself to hide her feelings. It’s all there, on her face. 

Only when things settle down she is able to collect herself again. Lexa comes visit her that night and we see Clarke pull her walls up again. “I was just doing what was right for my people.” BUT! Even if Clarke is not ready to open up her heart again, that scene is infused with intimacy. Even Clarke’s “rejection” is filled with emotion.

Clarke is the opposite of cold here. The way I see it, she is pulling away because she’s realizing she’s close to giving in, but she’s not yet ready for that. It’s so clear that here Lexa is talking about what happened at Mount Weather too, this is another quiet apology that Clarke obviously recognizes. If she went with her feelings, Clarke would have to admit that she does understand Lexa, that in her heart maybe she’s already forgiven her. But in that moment it’s too overwhelming, so she looks away and avoids the conversation, avoids Lexa’s gaze, avoids having to focus on her feelings.

She literally keeps having to look away because things get too intense but at the same time there’s a tenderness in her eyes that she can’t hide. And once Lexa is gone and she can breathe… bam

All the feelings she restrained, everything she tried to hide merely minutes ago hits her full force. I said I think Clarke’s love for Lexa developed gradually, naturally, but if I had to pick a specific moment and say that’s when Clarke realized she’s in love with Lexa, it would be this one.

By the time we get to 3x06, I do believe Clarke knows and has accepted she is in love with Lexa, but she’s still struggling to admit it out loud, especially to Lexa. That episode happens roughly 7-10 days after the events of Hakeldama, and when we see Clarke and Lexa again, they are closer than ever. There is a sense of intimacy, of almost domesticity between them. They are comfortable with each other’s presence. There’s not really a reason for them being in the same room in that scene: Lexa fell asleep while reading and Clarke is drawing (there are other sheets in her folder, which makes me think she was drawing other things before focusing on Lexa). They don’t have to talk or interact, they simply are together.

When Lexa wakes up from the nightmare, Clarke doesn’t hesitate to jump next to her and comfort her, with soothing touches and calming, reassuring words. And then we get to the moment Lexa notices the drawing. A lot has been said about Lexa’s face, but instead look at Clarke’s.

This is the exact opposite of what I was talking about in 3x04. Lexa sees the drawing and is taken aback. That she doesn’t know whether she should hope for anything is another story, but the look she gives Clarke is very telling. And Clarke doesn’t avoid it. Yes, her first instinct is to play it off as something meaningless. “Uh, that’s not- it’s not finished yet.” But then Lexa looks at her, confused, surprised, a tiny bit hopeful, and Clarke meets her gaze and they just stare at each other. Look at that little pause she does before lifting her eyes. That’s when she chooses not to hide. As I said, I think that here Clarke has come to terms with her feelings for Lexa, but here for the first time, she doesn’t hide them from Lexa. Her look is just as telling as Lexa’s. They aren’t saying a word and this is one of their most honest, important conversations. Clarke is silent, but her eyes are speaking, her untold feelings are there, and maybe letting Lexa know isn’t so unfathomable anymore. Maybe, maybe Clarke this is the closest Clarke has been to being ready.

So this is what i think. The way I see it, it’s tricky and complicated and simply beautiful.

anonymous asked:

pls give us some fluffy klance headcanons i'm starving

i’m literally just.. gonna pick some stuff i saved in my drafts randomly lmao

  • the first time they properly hug, they have that classic “never letting go till someone starts coughing behind them” moment. when they realize for how much they’ve held each other, they separate at the speed of light blushing profusely
  • now that the paladins know there’s a space mall, lance is determined to ask keith on a date there, so he pretends they have to go for a mission. “soooo, coran told me we have to get something for him at the space mall and specifically said he wants you and me to go get it for him” “are you sure? i’ve talked to him 10 minutes ago and he didn’t mention anything?” “uh…yeah? he told me ‘cause i’m his favourite paladin duh!” “alright let’s go”. so once they’re there lance confesses there was no commission to do for coran he just wanted to ask him out and keith smiles fondly, takes his hand and they walk together around the shops
  • supposing lance was jealous of keith during 2x06, i want him to ask keith again about him and allura. “you know i just wanna make sure….not that i like you or anything…” “lance. you know there’s nothing between me and the princess i just wanted to see how long it would take for you to confess”
  • i’m not exactly fond of angst, but near death experience love confessions are starting to grow on me so there’s that
  • red and blue are married and therefore have a deep connection so they spill to their respective paladins what the other thinks of them and :)
  • or even better…. meeting some aliens that can read minds or something and one of them is like “the red paladin is in love with one of u” and lance *laughs nervously* “ahah it can’t be me right” keith: stares at the camera
  • i want!! more lance gushing over keith but this time keith actually hears him and does the same back. basically the next time he notices lance hanging around the hall, he brings shiro with him and starts talking about how amazing lance is and makes sure he hears him
  • lance being aware!!! of the effect his flirting has on keith to the point he flirts with him pratically everyday and keith doesn’t know if he can’t handle it and shiro has to listen to every of his love problems
  • keith being able to recognize lance’s smell. i assume he likes to put cologne and smell nice, so keith’s pining ass would probably recognize his scent even a mile away. “still no news on lance?” “he’s coming back. i can smell his perfume” “how the hell do you know that” “….. it’s a … galra thing” (it’s not)
  • keith dragging lance along his plan to help shiro and allura get together but in the process they manage to resolve their own feelings
  • once in an established relationship, i want them not only to be a power couple, but to be so proud of it they actually brag about it with the enemies they meet
  • lance coming up with the most silliest pick up lines just to make keith laugh: “are you a tv? because i would watch you all day” “lance please” “only the best pick up lines for the best boyfriend” “i’m pretty sure you’re talking about yourself then” hashtag plan backfired
  • keith struggling about finding lance a gift once he knows his bday is coming up, so he goes on a solo mission to try and find a planet that has nice flowers in it. but he doesn’t have the courage to give the bouquet to him, so he writes him a card and leaves them in front of his room’s door. “most beautiful flowers for the most beautiful boy i know” keith thinks he’s slick because lance doesn’t know his handwriting, but he actually does, so the next day lance puts a card under his door that said “thank you -L” and keith falls on the floor
  • lance was very popular in class back at the garrison because of his friendly personality and keith tells that to him one day and how much he actually wanted to be his friend and lance is like “you know….there was this guy at the garrison, he was good at many things, except talking to people. but…. i liked him anyway”
  • keith saying that he doesn’t smile often and lance retorting “you’re not that grumpy i’ve seen you smile” “what do you mean” “You know….that smile you do when your eyes are shining…. like y’all have seen right” shiro: lance i’m pretty sure you’re either imagining it or he smiles like that just at you. cue a very flustered lance leaving the room
  •  this is super overused but i love the idea of keith telling lance “I’ve already lost Shiro I can’t lose you too” and then hugging him
  • “are you a tree? because i pine for you” “lance why are you practising your pick up lines with me” “Ha..ha….of course….just…practising.”
  • if lance can surf i really want to see him teaching keith how to please beach episode i need you
  • blatant flirting!!!! without realizing that it’s flirting!!! which is basically what they do in canon but you know….basically a “everybody can tell except them” kind of situation
  • cheek kisses, because i live for them, even better if it’s something done on impulse and unexpected
  • keith watching lance proudly doing something and accidentally slipping “that’s my lance” out loud. shiro: i didn’t know you two were dating? keith: i left the stove open i gotta go
  • keith and lance have never actually referred to each other as friends and i want that this is not a romantic thing but i just need to hear them saying “he’s my friend” ya feel
  • lance meeting a very awake keith in the middle of the night and asking him what’s wrong. “trouble sleeping?” “yeah” “is it because you’ve been thinking about me? :3″ “GOODNIGHT LANCE”

ok i hope i satisfied you enough lol <3

Better Latte than Never

it’s my birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE 21ST OF SEPTEMBER IS FINALLY HERE, and that means a fic!!! have a destiel coffee shop AU on me. <3

“What are you having?” Castiel asked with a smile, and Dean’s stomach flipped.

“Um. Regular latte,” he managed to say, and smiled.

“Regular latte,” Castiel repeated. “Coming right up.” He turned away, and began to prepare Dean’s drink, tanned hands picking up a plain white cup which he spun into position onto the coffee machine, glancing up to see whether Dean had noticed. Dean smiled, hoping it came across as ‘impressed’ and not ‘totally smitten’.

Shifting his weight from one foot to the other behind the cafe counter, Dean waited for his latte to be ready. He preferred espresso, if he was honest - but lattes took longer to drink, and just recently, Dean had found himself becoming a professional in the niche field of ‘reasons to take a long time over drinking a coffee in a small cafe’. He’d never even liked coffee that much - it had always been more of a necessary evil, utilized when he’d pushed his sleeping schedule beyond the reasonable limit - but that was something that he’d conveniently forgotten, just recently.

In fact, he could date this very specific amnesia to the exact moment that he’d walked through the door of this tiny cafe, tired in the middle of a long day at work and gasping for something to drink on his lunch break. That had been the first time he’d come, but there had been a second time, and a third… and now it was almost a whole month later, and Dean was still coming in every day.

He wished he could say that it was the coffee at Better Latte Than Never that kept him coming back. The coffee was good – or at least, Dean thought it was, though he was no expert - he hadn’t exactly sampled a whole lot of different brands. In fact, recently, he hadn’t even bothered buying his usual packet of filter coffee when he went grocery shopping. He spent so much time in Better Latte Than Never that he was starting to genuinely worry about the effects of overcaffeination.

After all, maybe those effects included giddiness, and butterflies in his stomach, and a heart rate through the roof, all of which Dean had been experiencing on a daily basis - but if he was honest, Dean didn’t think he could blame the coffee so much as the maker of the coffee for the symptoms.

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SNK Character Song Series 06: Levi (Image song & monologue translations)

Heeeyyy, Tumblr! Long time, no see :’) Did y'all enjoy SNK Season 2?

Levi and Erwin’s image song CDs were just released and I enjoyed listening to them a lot! ♡ So, I decided to pop back in for a bit and take on a new translation endeavor, something I haven’t really done in a while.

First up, this post is Levi’s image song and monologue! For the song, I included the original Japanese as well as romaji for karaoke purposes, if you’re so inclined ;) I also made a transcript of the monologue in the original Japanese, which you can read here (feel free to use it to translate into other languages.)

This should be obvious but keep in mind these are spoilers for the song & monologue, in case you wanted to experience them for yourself first. I definitely encourage supporting the official release & ordering the CDs if you haven’t already ♡

I’m also nearly finished with my translation of Erwin’s song and monologue as well, I’ll update this post with a link once it’s done ♡ ETA: Here is the translation of Erwin’s song and monologue!

SHINGEKI NO KYOJIN CHARACTER SONG SERIES 06: Levi

“Dark Side Of The Moon” (Vocals by Hiroshi Kamiya)

Side note: the melody for Levi’s song is based on the previously released SNK single, Reluctant Heroes.

Japanese Version

こんな世界を今
逆さにして振ってみても
確かなことひとつ
出てきやしねぇ¹だろう?

壁の外は地獄
中は欺瞞溢れてる
それも併せ呑んで
任務を果たすだけ

感情流され死神喰われるか
足りない頭を回してみるか

※光当たらぬ月の裏
突き進むためには
もっと速く時には
躊躇なき非情さを
間違いじゃないやりたきゃやれ
ここに答えなんてない
ただ後悔残さぬ
自らの決断を

ここで生き抜くなら
言葉でする教育より
痛みの記憶説く
教訓が必要だろう?

犠牲も危険も避けては
成果など
得られぬものだと
腹を括れよ

隠されている月の裏
いつか暴くために
乱されるな喚くな
状況を見極めろ
結果がなきゃ正解もない
だから最後だけは
ただ後悔残さぬ
自らの生き方を

背後で散った勇敢な兵士たちが
遺した想い力を与える
必ずいつの日にか目障りな
壁も壊し
自由になる為この命捧ぐ

※ Repeat

Romaji Version

Konna sekai wo ima
Sakasa ni shite futte mitemo
Tashika na koto hitotsu
Detekiyashinē¹ darō?

Kabe no soto wa jigoku
Naka wa giman afureteru
Sore mo awase nonde
Ninmu wo hatasu dake

Kanjō nagasare shinigami kuwareru ka
Tarinai atama wo mawashite miru ka

※Hikari ataranu tsuki no ura
Tsukisusumu tame ni wa
Motto hayaku toki ni wa
Chūcho naki hijōsa wo
Machigai ja nai yaritakya yare
Koko ni kotae nante nai
Tada kōkai nokosanu
Mizukara no ketsudan wo

Koko de ikinuku nara
Kotoba de suru kyōiku yori
Itami no kioku toku
Kyōkun ga hitsuyō darō?

Gisei mo kiken mo sakete wa
Seika nado
Erarenu mono da to
Hara wo kukure yo

Kakusarete iru tsuki no ura
Itsuka abaku tame ni
Midasareru na wameku na
Jōkyō wo mikiwamero
Kekka ga nakya seikai mo nai
Dakara saigo dake wa
Tada kōkai nokosanu
Mizukara no ikikata wo

Haigo de chitta yūkan na heishi tachi ga
Nokoshita omoi chikara wo ataeru
Kanarazu itsu no hi ni ka mezawari na
Kabe mo kowashi
Jiyū ni naru tame kono inochi sasagu

※ Repeat

English Translation

This kind of world now
Even if we try shaking it upside down
There isn’t one thing that comes out
Which is certain, is there?

Outside the walls, it is hell
Inside, it is brimming with deceit
What’s more, we have to swallow it down
We can only fulfill our duty

Will we lose control of emotion and be consumed by a god of death?
Or will we try to use our dim-witted heads?

The dark side of the moon, untouched by light
For the sake of pushing forward
We have to be faster and at times
Be heartless without hesitation
It’s not a mistake if it’s what you want to do, so do it
There are no right answers here
Just being without regrets
Is my own decision

If were to I survive here
Rather than education with words
Isn’t persuasion by memories of pain
An essential lesson?

To avert sacrifice as well as danger
Things like results
Cannot be obtained
Steel yourself for it

The dark side of the moon is concealed
For the sake of someday being revealed
Do not get agitated, do not scream
Be certain of the circumstances
Without results, there are no right answers
Therefore only in the end
Just being without regrets
Is my way of living

Brave soldiers who died noble deaths² before us
The hopes they left behind give us power
Without fail, one of these days
We will demolish the obstructive walls as well
For the sake of freedom, we devote this life

Translation notes:

¹ It appears that Levi’s gruff style of speaking is present even in the lyrics of his song. The standard form of the verb here would be detekiyashinai (出てきやしない).
² The verb in the original Japanese, chiru/散る (or in this case, the past tense form chitta/散った) in the literal sense means “to fall” (in the context of leaves or blossoms from a tree). However, it also has the figurative meaning of “to die a noble death”. Even though we also say “fallen soldiers” in English, I worried that translating the lyric as, “fallen before us” or “fallen behind us” could both be misinterpreted, I decided to go with the more figurative meaning;;

++

Levi Monologue English Translation

Seriously now, I’ve had enough of this. This world is perpetual shit, and humanity is still toothless prey.

Those ugly titans are always going to take a bite out of us, and so we die a meaningless death.

Humanity is powerless.

When we won against the titans for the first time, the time when we sealed the wall in Trost district with a boulder, we could do it because of Eren’s power– a titan’s power.

The weak ones die quickly. How much power they use up doesn’t matter.

Eventually all of humanity, every single person will end up in the stinking maw of a titan, and while we experience the worst feeling there is, perhaps our miserable lives will end.

I realized it a few years ago. The stench of the gutters fills the inside of these walls. It’s been like this for over 100 years. It’s the way things are now.

Because I’ve had to breathe in this foul air ever since I was born, because I had no choice but to live crawling around in piles of trash, I thought that it was normal.

But when I went outside the walls for the first time, I realized how much I didn’t know about anything. It hit home for me, how much I had hated it.

The world outside the walls was like hell with titans wandering around, but the air I breathed there was completely different from the one inside the walls.

I realized, out there is what freedom is.

Freedom is something that absolutely cannot be obtained within the walls.

So I made a choice. I will continue to kill all of the titans.

If you want to confront the titans, information is never enough. So in order to survive, I learned how to live.

Quick action and callous decisions by assuming the worst is a necessary endeavor.

A moment’s hesitation, surrendering yourself to emotions, and you will be nothing but Titan bait.

If you don’t want to die, you have to always continue to keep this in mind.

And small choices will accumulate.

That is the way of living I have learned.

Risking no danger, making no sacrifices– there is no such easy discussion.

Even if there was, it’s all make-believe.

So far, I have lost numerous subordinates.

Whether my choice was correct at those times, I do not know. It’s always been like that.

Even if I believe in my own power, even if I believe in my comrades whom I fully trust, none of us will know the outcome.

Afterward, all that’s left is reality.

In that case, What can I do except make a desperate effort?

What can I do except doggedly press on?

If I have time to think about the bygone past, like if I were to have made a different choice back then, I will kill as many titans as possible within my power.

In that time, in that moment, a sudden, ridiculously strong power boils up from inside my body, and then I know what to do.

When that moment comes, I can no longer go back to my old self.

With these blood-stained hands, I accept my new self, I steel myself, and I only do what I must.

Was I correct? Or did I make a mistake? That’s the sort of thing no one knows, so it’s not worth worrying about.

All you can do is keep your mouth shut and make a choice without regrets.

Not understanding things about this world is true for everyone.

So I choose the guy whom I want to put my faith in.

Erwin is like that, too. No one knows what he is really thinking deep down.

But I trust his judgement.

He may be inviting the worst outcome, but he’s not afraid of that, he is able to choose something. That’s the kind of guy he is.

That’s why I chose to follow him. And I chose to fight.

In order to fight against this shit world, with this hand I’ll grab hold of the freedom of going beyond the walls for the first time.

I have chosen for myself.

Even if I am led into hell, I have no regrets.

Not one bit.

anonymous asked:

So... I'm still no to this "Omegaverse" thingy... Do you mind explaining a bit? I'm curious to understand the classes and the ways that they irk and such...

Sure thing, love!

Ok so, many years ago in the deep dark recesses of fanfiction.net (or maybe it was AO3? It could have been Wattpad tbh) someone wrote a fanfic (I think it was Supernatural or Teen Wolf or something) where one character was an alpha, who went through ruts and had scent glands and the other was an omega, who was dependent on the alpha, and went through heats and was submissive

Dynamics

There are three dynamics that are generally accepted (I say this because some people add in gammas and deltas and zetas, and these can adhere to any headcanons you want, because they’re unusual and vary greatly)

Alpha

Alphas are generally accepted as the dominant, strong fighters, much like the hyper masculine image that is forced on men. They can be tall and lean, or short and muscular. Both male and female alphas possess a penis and a knot. Female alphas have the ability to retract their penis, and although they possess a vagina, they aren’t able to get pregnant or menstruate. Alphas will go into ‘rut’ (which can be triggered, or a monthly thing, depending on your headcanons). My personal headcanons are that alphas go into rut when the omega they’re bonded to goes into heat, and most alphas will experience rut-like symptoms during puberty

Beta

Betas are the closest to actual human in omegaverse. Male betas are able to impregnate betas and omegas, and female betas are able to be impregnated by alphas and betas. They sometimes get the short end of the stick, and are there just as mediators because some say they have bad senses of smell, and are there for more level-headed and aren’t affected by scent the way alphas and omegas are. I disagree with this COMPLETELY because it’s very unfair. I think betas have a far better sense of smell, and just aren’t evolutionarily programmed to respond to scents the same way omegas and alphas do. Betas tend to be the least aggressive/emotional of all the dynamics, and are a calming presence on both alphas and omegas

Omega

Depending on your headcanons, omegas are generally put into two different categories: submissive and weak, or powerful and revered. Both male and female omegas go into ‘heat’ every month, which is a period of 3-6 days where their scent becomes sweeter, they become more physically appealing, and they become incredibly fertile. Some headcanons state that the scent of an in-heat omega drives an alpha crazy and leaves them almost unable to stop themselves from mounting and knotting the omega right there and then. I disagree with this. I think instead that an alpha can tell the difference between an in-heat omega and an out of heat omega, recognise that the scent is pleasant, and move on. Both male and female omegas have a uterus (the males’ uterus lies flush against his stomach, and is accessible through his anus). Male omegas are unable to impregnate other omegas, or female betas. 

Some useful terminology
Knotting

Knotting it what alphas will do during sex with an omega. At the base of an alpha’s penis is a ‘knot’ (like a dog penis). This knot locks into the omega when the alpha orgasms, and keeps them locked together for a duration of time (anywhere between 5 minutes and an hour; it changes depending on your headcanons)

Scenting

All dynamics possess scent glands on the trapezius muscle (the junction between your shoulder and neck) the inside of their wrists, and their inner thighs. Scenting something is done by rubbing your scent glands over it to spread your scent over it. Dynamics will do it to clothes, blankets, their mates, and basically anything that they want other people to know is theirs

Bonding

Bonding is done during sex by biting the scent gland at the trapezius muscle. The bite has to be hard enough to break the skin, and it’ll basically bond the two people together (so it’s a bit like marriage but on a biological scale). The bite mark will scar over and will always be visible to the naked eye

Nesting

Omegas build nests. Depending on your headcanons, they can build nests just when they’re in heat, or when they’re pregnant, or just whenever the hell they want to. A nest is a small area (like a bed, or a closet) filled with blankets, clothes, pillows and stuffed animals that is just a nice, soft place for the omega to lie and sleep. Omegas get very protective of their nests, and usually only close friends, mates and close family members will be allowed in. The items used in a nest will sometimes be scented by the individual’s mate, if they have one

Mates

When two people get into a relationship, they will be considered ‘mates’. It doesn’t matter whether it’s an alpha and an alpha, or a beta and an omega, or an omega and an alpha, they’re called mates. If they’ve bonded to each other, they’re known as ‘bonded mates’

Think I missed anything? Let me know, and I’ll add it!

@victuuri-week Day 4 - *Smash Bros voice* FREE FOR ALL!!!

*cough* Sorry, I’m reading it like this everytime lmao. I love mermaid AUs too much, and since I used the “Mythos AU” day with something else, I decided to do it today! It’s my birthday, so i’m happy I got to draw some mermaids for today XD

Just a few HCs to go with this pic (english isn’t my first language, sorry if anything comes out wrong or doesn’t make sense):

  • Yuuri had a really bad breakdown and tried to kill himself by jumping on the stormy sea. 
    • Viktor was just swimming by when he found Yuuri, already passed out, and without even thinking saved him and carried him to the beach.
    • Yuuri regained his senses momentary, and the only thing he could say when he saw the figure leaning over him was “Beautiful”.
  • Viktor gets immediately smitten with this human, but he know he shouldn’t stay for longer since anyone could see him now out in the open (he was already going to get in trouble for letting this man see him). So, full of regret for not being able to stay by his side, he jumps back on the sea, and watch from behind some rocks as someone founds the man passed out and calls for help.
  • Yuuri wakes up in a hospital, his entire family crying and hugging him and begging him not to do that again. He immediately feels bad for giving up so easily and making them cry so much, and hugs them back, apologizing.
    • Later, when they are calmer, he asked who was the long-haired man that helped him off of the sea. But everyone just seems confused by this and inform him that he was found lying alone at the beach by a passerby. 
  • But Yuuri was sure there was someone else, and when he gets discharged, he goes back to the little beach, looking at the sea, without really knowing what to do. 
  • After that, he goes there everyday, and while that worries his parents, he actually seems a lot less down when he is by the sea, so they let him go (Mari keeps messaging him every 5 minutes to be sure he is alright, tho).
    • Everyday, there is a pair of cerulean eyes underwater staring back at him.

…I got carried away lmao (I didn’t had this written down and came up with some parts rn, sorry if it’s messy XD). Thanks if you read this all!!


Commission Me!

tis-better-to-reign-in-hell  asked:

I know the mainstay of your advice on such matters is basically to stop saying your life sucks and make your life look like what you need it to look like in order to be content with it, but what if a disability means I can never make my life look like what I need it to? What if I've spent years putting every effort into making myself happy with what I've got and fail every time? If I can't be happy in the position I'm in, and there's no way to get out, is suicide a valid option then? (3/4)

[cont’d] I simply cannot grow old counting all the things I cannot have, and I cannot make myself content with the things I do have and I am so tired of grieving what I’ve lost and missed out on. Help. (4/4)

Dear tis-better-to-reign-in-hell,

For starters, suicide is never the better option, full stop. Whatever is on the other side, I would rather have you on this side until you absolutely can’t be. Can we make a deal about that? Your story isn’t done yet.

When I was a kid, I didn’t want to be a writer, or a musician, or an artist. I was interested in all of those things as hobbies, but I had one concrete dream that burned so fast and so hard that it had to be a goal. Yes, it was competitive, and yes, it was difficult, but I liked both of those things about it. 

I wanted to be a fighter pilot.

I’ll let that sit in everyone’s minds for a moment now, and you can feel free to laugh at me if you want, because I don’t mind, I’m ridiculous. (joke: how do you know if there’s a pilot at your party? answer: they’ll tell you)(I should have been a pilot)

So I daydreamed and planned out this life for myself, and then, suddenly, my eye sight started to go. Not a little bit, like, oh dear child we should get you some spectacles. But like, um, let’s warn this child of the warning signs of imminent blindness. I went from whatever eyeballs are supposed to be to legally blind without correction in just a few years. I have a prescription that makes every new eye doctor scoot their chair back from the desk a little. If it gets any worse, they don’t make my sort of contact lenses for it anymore. 

My eyes, they’re not very good at being eyes.

For the longest time, I kept that calendar where I wrote down THE GREAT ANNAPOLIS LET DOWN the day I came back from the eye doctor with a prescription officially too bad to ever fly jets. 

You may have noticed that I am not a fighter pilot.

Yeah, I was crushed. Yeah, it was non negotiable. My body was and is never going to be able to fly jets. But that doesn’t mean I can’t find something that makes me feel the way flying jets was going to make me feel. I don’t mean in a “I’m traveling at 500 mph yay” way. I mean, what was it about flying jets that pleased me? Not on the surface. Deep down. What is flying jets a metaphor for? What does it mean to me?

For me it was about speed, of course, but it was also about usurping my way into a man’s world, and it was about feeling like I had a job that moved as fast as it possibly could, demanding all of my mental resources, and it was also about looking cool in aviator sunglasses.

I found a life that did that that didn’t have anything to do with flying a jet. It took awhile to get there, and I suffered from a significant failure of imagination when I first got dealt that blow of blindness. I don’t know what your disability is, but I believe in your imagination to find you a life that feels the same way as the one you want now. 

And when you figure it out, shoot me a letter and let me know you got there. Remember that we have a deal.

urs,

Stiefvater  

i. domesticity

I drink milk every day because my doctor says I need it to grow. Kind of like I need this calcium rush in order to make my bones stronger so I stop cracking them so easily. Preventing them from ever reverting to the weak, knobbly knees of last summer when a boy I had a crush on. Had a crush on, crushed me. Like a pulp. Into grains. Like a spoon grinding up soggy cereal swimming at the bottom of a bowl. I wake up in the middle of the night, remembering I didn’t drink 3 glasses today, and run to the refrigerator in my socks and chug it straight from the gallon, barbaric and yearning like a schoolgirl hitching her skirt up too high, and picture the white flowing through my veins. Softening me. Rounding me out. Giving me curves. I get a brain freeze instead and pray I’ll stop crying over spills and that I can sleep with this cold lurching in my stomach.

ii. vicinity

Maybe one day my hair will stop being so limp in the heat, but I don’t think that kind of thing can be anticipated, so I just have to wait. Girls like me live in the back of an un-air-conditioned convenience store, ratty sweatpants, tight tank tops, and crawl out with week-old receipts bursting from their pockets. Like glued ribcage kind of girls, like elastic hair tie, red marks around the wrist kind of girls. The cashier doesn’t mind when I snag a magazine from the rack and browse through it without paying because no matter how hard I try, I end up looking pre-pubescent anyway. And they let things slide. For a girl like me, at least. I’m saying, lopsided bun, wide eyes, a mouthful of crooked teeth, stars pulling them into their places, I was always too scared to get braces. The cover has some headline about how to enlarge your breasts naturally, which I think might be useful, and another about how to communicate effectively with others without saying hurtful things, which makes me laugh. I flip to the back to check my horoscope and eat that prophetic, adolescent shit catered to the teenage soul up like Eucharist laid under the tongue. Swallow down a spoonful of March’s: “Prepare to face some stress this month, but that’s okay! You’ll be able to get through it and find time to relax.” I want to rip out the page and shove it into my bra, like keeping these soft, meaningless words close to my chest will make them seep into my heart and change me. Stop making me think so much, fill my brain up with Arizona tea and static instead. But I’m cheap, and I shove the magazine back. I think my chest will stay flat forever.

iii. mobilization

I seek healing. Mending. I’m fingernails deep, sitting in the back of a subway at 3 a.m., pressing crescent moons into the leather seat, trying to dig up salvation. You can’t find that here, you can’t find that in the cracks between the tiles, you can’t find comfort in the ground up cigarette butt stamped into the floor. I’m wishing against this fogged up glass I could say anything, anything that would make sense for once, so someone could help me. Like please, my mind is bending in backwards, like please, I don’t think this underdeveloped chest can take any more of this resentment or it’s going to explode through my ribcage, out of my flesh, like please, I don’t want to hurt anymore. And it’s not my fault that I launch myself around like I’m in some sick little competition, pretending I don’t care, like I’m having the time of my life. Of course I’m not, of course I’m not, I don’t think having your hands shake and your brain go fuzzy whenever you think a little too much is fun, something to be documented for the world to see. I guess I’m different from other people that way, I’d rather people think I’m having a good time than actually have one without anyone knowing. I wish I knew how to sew, so I could stitch up my fibrillating heart, no matter how sloppy and crooked, but the needle jabs my finger as the subway lurches left, and I bleed, I bleed, I bleed.

iv. unearthliness

My mom told me not to walk naked in front of the altar. Disrespectful, she called it, and even though I agree, sometimes I test my divinity and emerge from the bathroom, the steam from the shower wafting off smoke like the incense in its pot. Young god, skin tinted green from fake gold. Young god, empty stomach, fruit scooped out of its rind, leaving me seedless. This hatred has roots, and I don’t know whether I want to dig out my insides with my hands or fill myself up until I’m close to bursting. I let people think the scratches on my knees are from a night of alcohol and a boy tugging my hair. Of course, it’s that and not child worship on a scratchy rug, not begging for forgiveness, not praying for glamour and glory, not hoping for. Of course it’s not hoping for something better.

—  this pain lasts in every location
  • Me: having a structured life is exhausting!
  • Therapist: I understand. Let's say just get up in the morning, get some breakfast, go for a walk...and that's it for a start.
  • Me: *internally: sounds reasonable, but that means first fighting against my will to just stay in bed and act as if I'm not existing. Getting up either way and facing my face and body in the mirror. There's an 80% chance that it's one of those days and I hate myself just so fucking much I could scream. But there's also a chance I look in the mirror and find a person that does not seem to be familiar to me looking back at me. Still, now you want me to shower and wash this body I find really disgusting. I have to see every single scar I have and maybe feel the burn of fresh cuts. Then I have to put on cloth, brush my teeth and my hair and do my makeup, as I can't go outside without hiding my ugly face under layers of primers and foundations and powders and highlighters and fake lashes and a perfect contour and a big nude fake smile. I spend money I don't have to make myself look good enough for myself to endure my own appearance. I remember to take my meds. Now I'm dressed (in clothes that hopefully say 'i don't care' when really I care a lot) and can go to the kitchen to prepare food that I know I won't be able to eat in 50% of the cases. There's also a good chance that I eat it and then find myself throwing up and ruining my makeup feeling every single disgusting cell of fat on my body vibrate while trying to breathe. Well either way let's say I might redo my make-up, brush my teeth again and step outside. I maybe take my horse with me and walk through the neighbourhood. I have to see people. I feel anxious. I would love to just turn around and go back home. But I keep on walking, trying to seem selfconfident so my horse and neighbours can't see or feel my insecurity. I'll try to be friendly and act normal even though I'm sure they hate me and laugh about me. Still if the communication between my horse and me isn't perfect today I'll probably cry and if a neighbour just looks at me in a way that i interpret to be unfriendly or cold or annoyed I'll probably cry too. Let's say I'm back home. Now it's like 11 in the morning. What do I do? By now I'm an emotional wreck, tired as hell, probably planing on how to harm myself with one half of my brain while the other half bundles it's last energy to prevent exactly this from happening. How do I survive the rest?*
  • Me: I'll try.

ultimate-drama-queen  asked:

Hi. I love your blog and all the little headcannons (canon?) you do. I also noticed you're amazing for writing little stories for people who are having a tough time. Would it be too much to ask if I could have one? I'm suffering from a bout of depression/insomnia and I'm running on about 4 hours sleep in about 3 days. What do you think of Derek or Stiles getting insomnia from all the stuff they've seen and the other just cuddling them through it? Trying to stay awake so they're not alone?

Hey, sweetheart. The depression/insomnia combo is horrible. I don’t know if it will work for you but earlier this year I stumbled upon ASMR videos. I know some people find them weird but they really helped me when it came to getting to sleep. In the mean time, I hope this little fic does something to help. 

Stiles thought being able to sleep after the Nogitsune had been the universe’s way of balancing out the good and bad in his life: get possessed by a psychotic Japanese fox but sleep like a baby every night after. As it turned out, being able to sleep after a spirit uses your body to murder a bunch of people came down to the fact Stiles hadn’t had a break since finding Laura Hale’s body that night in the woods.   

He believed joining the academy would be a fresh start, and in many ways it was. He just didn’t count on the fact that now he didn’t have pure evil trying to kill him at every waking moment that his brain would finally find time to process it. Stiles had always been a fan of ignoring his problems until they eventually, just, go away; watching his friends die, looking down at his own body and knowing it wasn’t really his but the cardboard cutout left behind by the Nogitsune, the memory of watching Derek almost -

He assumed - stupidly - that he had been successful in that particular endeavour. As long as he had his pillow, he was fine. You’re going to be fine. That was what the faceless people of the internet said. Stiles didn’t think “fine” was ever going to be an option for him but he guessed hope was a nice sentiment. 

“Insomnia,” Scott said, repeating the word back to him. Stiles could practically hear the concern, loud and clear, ringing through the phone. It instantly made him feel worse. Heaving a sigh, he scrubbed a tired hand down his face. Maybe he shouldn’t have called.  

“Yes, insomnia.”

Scott was quiet for several seconds.  “Do you have your pillow?” he asked. 

“Yes,” Stiles answered. He was currently clutching it to his chest, sprawled out on his bedroom floor. It was 3am, the floor was hard, and if he didn’t get some sleep soon he was going to start crying; the kind of crying he hadn’t done since he was a kid and his mom took ill. 

“What about drugs?” Scott suggested. “I could ask my mom-”

“No drugs, Scott.”

“But-”

I said no drugs, Scott.” 

The line went quiet again and Stiles felt his eyes begin to sting. This was a mistake.

“Sorry, man, I have to go.” 

He hung up before Scott could respond, deciding he could feel guilty about it later.

~

At the academy, he was on auto-pilot. Luckily, Stiles had come up with some of his best plans during the last four years on little-to-no sleep, so it wasn’t overly obvious to his fellow agents-in-training that he needed several cups on coffee just to get through the day.

It was obvious to someone though. Someone who clearly thought it was their sworn duty to haul Stiles over their shoulder in the middle of his third run to the coffee shop that day and deposit him in the back of their car. 

Stiles wanted to protest - he should protest, call for help, maybe? - but he had had his eyes closed when the stranger grabbed him, had been drooling on a statue, leaning against it for moral support, as he had waited for his order.

Plus, the stranger’s arms felt nice. 

In the back of his mind, Stiles couldn’t decide if thinking a stranger’s arms felt nice during a potential kidnapping - fuck, please don’t let it be a supernatural kidnapping - was because of his sleep deprived state or if that was just the way he was wired now. 

It was only when a door opened and a familiar pair of eyebrows slid into the driver’s seat did Stiles begin to laugh. Hysterically. 

“Of course,” he said, shaking his head and pressing his lips against the cool leather interior. Familiar hands strapped him into the his seat. “Of course it’s you, big guy.”

Derek just gave a slight huff and muttered something Stiles couldn’t hear, but it sounded an awful lot like, yeah, I missed you, too. 

Stiles laughed again. It was crazy, what your mind came up with when it wasn’t functioning properly. 

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Hello, I'm the anon who's freaking out about being thrown into adulthood, and thank you for your previous help. 1.) How do I mamage/budget a minimum wage salary? 2.) I've never been great with any sort of organization, but would you mind teaching me about home organization and important paper organization?

Okay, so this post will be about budgeting on minimum wage, and later in the day I will also post about paper organization. Enjoy!

Budgeting on Minimum Wage

Overview

The average minimum wage in the US is $7.25/hr. Even working full time at 40 hours a week, that’s only a profit of $290 before taxes. This is not a fair living wage! You are worth way more than this amount! I strongly encourage you to start looking for another job that pays better, look for something around the $10-$15 range. 

While $7.25 is atrocious, thousands of people around the world support families on much less. If they can do it while supporting children, so can you! To live off a minimum wage budget you need to declare yourself independent. If your parents are still claiming you as a dependent YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO DO THIS. I also recommend that you have the highest amount possible taken out of your taxes so that you get money back from your state at the end of the year, instead of being in debt to them.

What I’ve done is come up with a budgeting plan based off some made up factors and my own personal experience.

Housing

1. City life. Forget about the city! Apartments located in cities can be three times as expensive as apartments in small towns or villages. On top of the extra expense, they’re much smaller and have less amenities included. I’d much rather live in a one bedroom apartment with a dishwasher and a conveniently located Laundromat, than a literal closet with no windows on a fifth floor walkup. Look for apartments twenty minutes to a half hour outside of your closest city. Now you have the close conveniences of a city, with none of those pesky city prices that your budget can’t handle.

2. College towns. Shop around and look at apartments by local colleges. Large colleges with have apartment complexes within walking distance of the school grounds. Landlords know that college students have less money (you might even be a college student yourself) and adjust their prices accordingly. Even apartments next to ivy league schools are priced this way, so don’t be discouraged by the institution’s “prestige”.

3. Locale. Your safety is more important than your bank account. It doesn’t matter if you live in Section 8 housing or in an affluent suburb. Some apartment complexes and neighborhoods are just safer than others. I live in a heavily populated and upper middle class suburb, and the first year I moved in, a drunk woman tried to throw a beer bottle at my car. Thankfully this is the only time this happened to me, but it made me feel unsafe in my environment. Before signing a lease, walk or drive around your prospective home’s neighborhood at night. Take in the atmosphere, and make sure it’s one where you could comfortably run to the local supermarket at 10:30pm and pick up toilet paper.

4. Roommates. Living on minimum wage requires that you find one or two roommates to help split the rent. The more the better! Get together with your more responsible friends, so at least you’re living with people whose company you enjoy. There are lots of “roommate wanted” forums and message boards for you to browse on the internet, but always bring a responsible adult with you before meeting a stranger. Please. Bring your mom if you have too.

Food

1. Low-spoon food. I created this post a few months ago which offers lots of suggestions about cooking and shopping on a budget.

2. Online recipes. Here are some of my favorite online Tumblr cookbook resources. 

3. I also regularly update my cooking on a budget tag. 

Misc Expenses

1. Gas. Shop around and find the cheapest gas in your area. Avoid gas stations next to colleges, highways, and in touristy areas. Look into getting as gas rewards card from your favorite supermarket. I get 10 cents off a gallon with Stop & Shop every time I do a big shop. 

2. Dollar store. Get to know your local dollar and bargain stores. You can buy everything from pots and pans to bed sheets there. These stores often sell bulk ramen for $1 and large cans of crushed tomatoes for 75 cents. That’s enough food for you to live off of for several days. When shopping, I make three grocery store stops to ensure that I spend the least amount possible on my pantry needs. I go Dollar Store, Stop and Shop, and then to my local organic grocery store. I’m going to make a list of things that I buy at Dollar Stores and things that I don’t buy at Dollar Stores soon!

3. Cable. We are living in the digital age- you don’t need cable television. Use Netflix or Hulu or whatever. It will save you tons of $$. 

4. Internet. As far as internet speed goes, if you’re living with roommates you will probably need a higher speed. Living by yourself, choose a lower one. Most internet companies offer large discounts to new subscribers. These typically only last a year, but will save you serious money. Make sure to take note of when this discount expires, and contact the company before it does. If you don’t, they’ll begin charging you the full amount without notice.

5. Verizon. I just want to take a moment to talk about how much I love Verizon because they have literally saved me so much money in the three years I’ve been with them. After you sign a contract with a new internet company, they charge you a bunch of ridiculous fees like “activation fees” and “installation fees”. I called Verizon and was like “I’m a poor college student, I can’t afford this” and they were like “don’t worry, we’ll waive the fee”. I signed a two year contract with them that saved me $80 on a high-speed internet bill per month (my price being only 50.99 a month). After the contract expired I call them and they put me on a month to month, keeping the price absolutely the same. TLDR- get Verizon if you can.

6. Utility. Get on a monthly budget with whatever utility company services your new apartment. Although it may seem like the cheaper option, paying the actual amount of electricity you spend per month is the more expensive. It’s also unpredictable, and a minimum wage budget won’t allow for it. See this for more info.

7. Amazon. I buy a lot of my beauty, cleaning, and cat products online. Amazon offers Prime shipping free for a year with a student email address, and then offers it at a greatly reduced price after the year. If you are a student, snap up that free deal ASAP. If it’s in your budget, I’d greatly recommend investing in Amazon Prime.

8. Saving money. It’s so important to attempt to break way from the “paycheck to paycheck” vicious cycle. Living this way does not allow for emergency expense money, and trust me, sometime soon you will need emergency expense money. Your cat might get sick or your car may die, whatever it is, it’s always smart to have at least $500 squirreled away. I’m gonna level with you, things have been tight for my budget and I haven’t been able to save anything for the past three months. But this month I will!

Example Budgets

Full Time

Working with the $7.25/hr and 40hr/week model, here’s an example budget for living on minimum wage. That’s $1,160 a month without taxes.

Housing: Let’s say you’re sharing an apartment with two close friends, the rent being $1,500 without any amenities. That rent split three ways is $500 each.

Gas I commute twenty minutes every day, and I drop about $20-$25 a week on gas. That’s $100 on gas a month.

Food: I do one big shopping a month with my boyfriend. We drop around $180 and that’s including toiletries and soap and stuff. So maybe you’ll spend about $100 a month on all your shopping needs.

Cable/internet:  Hopefully you took my advice and skipped cable. Let’s say you’re paying around $50 per month for internet. Split three ways that’s $17 each.

Laundry: Hopefully you’re not like me and are only spending around $20 on laundry per month.

Random expenses: Because there always are some. Let’s just tack on another $100.

With everything added up, you still have around $290 left before taxes! That money can go into a savings account, and after several months, you’ll have that $500 worth of emergency money saved.

Part Time

Working with the $7.25/hr and 25hr/week model, here’s an example budget for living on minimum wage. That’s $725 without taxes.

Housing: In this case, you need to look for apartments in the $800-900 range. In my area, one bedroom apartments go for around $1000, so you may need to get creative with your roommate (I don’t think you could have more than one roommate in this situation). Buy dividers to split the bedroom or studio in half! Let’s say your rent is $850 with nothing included, that’s $425 each.

Gas You’re still looking at a large gas bill per month, so it may be more inexpensive to ride a bike or use public transportation. Let’s say you use public transportation, and spend around $50 a month on that. Or maybe you and your roommate can split gas expenses and share a car?

Food: Pinch those pennies! Use some of those budget cookbooks I linked above to help you cook healthy and delicious meals for under $4 each. See if you can only spend $80 a month on groceries.

Cable/internet:  Hopefully you took my advice and skipped cable. Let’s say you’re paying around $50 per month for internet. Split two ways is $25 each.

Laundry: Hopefully you’re not like me and are only spending around $20 on laundry per month.

Random expenses: Because there always are some. Let’s just tack on another $100.

That leaves you $25 to put in your bank account, if that. This is a paycheck to paycheck situation, and you will probably need to get another source of income to feel secure. But you can still do it!

So I heard you like Shiro? I’m so proud of myself for actually finishing this and not leving it half-done on my desktop for 6 months (like I usually do~~). PS I know his mouth is uneven (he’s biting his lip, you just can’t tell because I HAVE NOT ZE SKILLZ… oh well).

Speedpaint of this: