(Disclaimer: This is going to be rather long. Sorry for the negativity)
I know I’m late to the party but I need to get this out.
I hate series four. Not just TFP, not just Mary’s redemption arc…I hate the whole thing. The last days I spent delving deep into old tags, fic and started to rewatch the show and I only got sad. So fucking sad. I remember joining fandom back in June, how it helped me crawl out of my shell and talk to people (sorry for not reaching out, I haven’t forgot about you lovelies). I remember spending nights reading meta, which brought me from reluctantly shipping Johnlock to a full blown TJLCer. I remember watching the show over and over, at first on my own, later surrounded by amazing people from all over the world at Steph’s watchalongs. I remember following the news at the sdcc, and screaming over ‘love conquers all’ and our first teaser trailer. I remember setlock and all the funny exchanges with Arwel. I remember Sherlocked and watching the GBBO finale just to see two new frames cut into the teaser. I remember being super excited about every new TJLCE video. I remember how I couldn’t listen to the radio because EVERYTHING was Johnlock and my heart beat faster. I remember “Tell them your darkest secret”-“I love you”. I remember all those countdowns.
Black Mirror released on Friday. I’ve only watched Nosedive. But I’m here to say: what the actual fuck you guys. This show deals with suicide, society, binge eating, mind fucking realities, and the horrors of humanity.
And all I see is Season 3 Episode 4? Like, are you fucking kidding me right now? The only thing tumblr can take away from this fucking show is two girls falling in love? While that is fucking GREAT I really think most people are missing the whole fucking POINT of the series overall.
Let’s talk about this a little bit.
Episode 1: The National Anthem
After the kidnapping of a Royal Family Dutchess, the Prime Minister of the UK is contacted by an anonymous group, stating that the Dutchess will be put to death if he does not comply with their requests.
The request that they make is less than appetizing, of course. The PM, attempting to retrieve the Royal Highness to safety, must have sex with a pig on national television. Contingencies in place and all. Appalled, the PM, naturally, does everything in his power to find the Dutchess before his date with ~destiny~ (that’s what I’ve named the Pig).
Moral of the Episode: All government members should fuck pigs because that’s what they are.
Episode 2: Fifteen Million Merits
Out of all the episodes, this one has stuck with me the longest. In a future (no unlike our own) where people must cycle on exercise bikes in order to obtain Merits (which is a virtual currency), which allows the rider to customize their avatar, purchase new games, watch new shows, and most importantly skip ads, and where the only thing that matters is the information the media is feeding you, Bing struggles.
Obese and overweight people are considered second class citizens in this utopia, acting as the janitorial staff for the riders around the complex. Inheriting Fifteen Million Merits from his recently deceased brother, Bing, weighs his options on how to use them. He can use his merits for his own gain and remove himself from the endless cycling of his every fucking day life–or he can use his merits and gain a much needed X-Factor pass (worth every merit he has) in order to move up as a celebrity or reality show contestant.
Then he meets her.
Moral of the Episode: We all live in a plugged in society, where we gaze through the rose colored lens of facebook and bitcoin and all the useless bullshit that the tabloids and the media says is important. This episode is one of the most impactful. It’s heartbreakingly beautiful.
Episode 3: The Entire History of You
The title itself reads like Welcome To Night Vale. In this alternate future, each person has a small little “grain” implanted in their heads for perfect recall in all things. They can reexperience every little sensation with this “grain”. Fall in love for the first time again. Know what it’s like to break your hand in excruciating detail. Remember the birth of your child as vividly as yesterday.
After a meeting goes very poorly at work, Liam attends a dinner party with his wife and a few other friends. Upon asking how his meeting went, they all want to rewatch the whole thing (known as a re-do) to help Liam and give him advice on what he might have done wrong. With his wife’s intervention, they don’t put his humiliation up onto the screen for everyone to see. Instead, a girl starts talking about being brutally attacked and how she much prefers being “grain-free” now, since the assault ruined her “grain.”
Moral of the Episode: Be careful what you wish for–memories are hell.
Episode 1: Be Right Back
Recently moved to the countryside, Ash, a social media addict, and his wife, Martha (UHM HAYLEY ATWELL????) seem to be living the perfect life. Until Ash doesn’t come home one night. Killed in a tragic accident while returning their moving van, Martha spirals deep into depression.
Well her sister convinces her to join this new social media site that allows you to talk to your dead loved ones. It’s a computer algorithm made to mimic people based off of their social media posts. Comforted by her husband’s face online presence, Martha slips further and further down the rabbit hole.
Moral of the Episode: Death is hard, but what does it mean to be you? If an algorithm can emulate you after you die, does that mean you live forever?
Episode 2: White Bear
Waking up with no recollection of who she is or how she got in the apartment she currently occupies, Victoria wanders through a world where everyone is obsessed with simply recording her. Confused and begging for help, Victoria is ignored by the new found voyeurism that has swept society since her suicide attempt.
When demanding for people to stop recording her, she is set upon by a strange man wearing a strange mask (embued with a weird Symbol) and fired upon with a shotgun. Confused, Victoria must survive the assault, or die trying.
Moral of the Episode: Don’t ask a stranger for help–mob mentality is real and society revels in spectacles and violence. To survive you must fit in.
Episode 3: The Waldo Moment
Jamie, a severely depressed and washed out comedian, plays the role of ever popular TV sensation, Waldo–a blue bear that interviews politicians and authority figures on TV (like a late show). Thinking to capitalize most on Waldo, the producer decides that Waldo should run in the upcoming election against real politicians.
Hesitant to go into the world of politics, Jamie eventually agrees to this hairbrained scheme and launches his campaign of lies, slander, and backwater politics–all headed and encouraged by the producer. What we get is a very familiar election campaign–hello Trump.
Moral of the Episode: A bear who is completely CGI is more real than any political authoritative figure. And people are more than willing to listen to him. What does that say about us? Spoon fed ideals and concepts and we take it all at face value.
This show is more than just girls kissing and LGBT rights. Stop pandering to 3x4 and instead actually watch the fucking series. It’s important, it’s wholly mind shattering, and as a result you will find yourself looking at the world through different eyes. Black Mirror is fucked. It’s beautiful. It’s horrifying. But it’s all very real.
Alright, lets put down a first draft for season 6!
Call me Baron.
Right. Right, uhm... it's just, there's a group of young, dynamic looking people banging on the front door and..
Oh, that would be my co-writers. Don't let them in!
But some of them looked pretty angry and weren't they hired to...
Alright, boring characters first!
*sigh* - Edith?
Yes, that one. So Marigold dies from-
I will not stand for this!
But that's all Edith is about! People she loves dying or leaving her! Alright, I'll pair her up with that dreary guy from the Christmas special and then I'll kill him off. Next!
So Robert and Cora...
Right, so Robert dies because the ulcer isn't just an ulcer and in a state of confusion he changes his will and Isis inherits the whole estate. The family ends up in destitute because when Isis dies she hasn't left a will and everything is confiscated by the evil labor party. All servants lose their jobs, everyone is unhappy, show ends and I finally get to move on to 'The Gilded Age' and write something I actually enjoy. Perfect!
Ooooo-kay, that's really lovely. Now, back to Robert and Cora, shall we?
If we must. *pouts* Alright, Isis dies, Robert has to undergo surgery and almost dies, Cora is a good supportive wife and Robert regains his will to live when the head surgeon flirts with Cora and he jumps out of the hospital bed and beats him up.
I guess at least that's better than...
Mary falls in love with Henry, they get engaged and he dies in a car accident.
I thiiink we already had that one. Don't you think that would be a bit-
Can't have them just be happy, can I? You can't have character developement through happiness!
If you say so... But at least kill him off in a different way.
Yes yes. Now Tom, he leaves for America with Sybbie and comes back to visit in episode 3 or 4 and spouts all those ideas about freedom and everyone having the same rights and worth and how there should be no class devide *snorts* and that makes Robert's ulcer worse and leads to him needing surgery. Tom is ordered to stay away from the house.
Which brings us to Violet. She dies or leaves for Russia to become the courtesan of the Prince.
I think I'm going to be...
Speaking of wrinkly sex, the Carson and Hughes wedding is cancelled.
WHAT?! Are you insane? The fans will not accept this! They'll boycott your next show! Oh my god what-
*dreamy* Elsie finds out that Carson has been married all those years. His wife is in an asylum for the insane and refuses to sign the divorce papers. Cue eternal woe.
Oh for heaven's sake, why can't you just let them be happy?!
Who would want to see that?
Man, you forget yourself!
I... *pants* ... I can't...
Alright, Molesey proposes to Baxter, she says yes, they get married and get their own little cottage.
What? Just like that?
Yes, why not? They deserve a bit of happiness, don't they?
o_O *stares blankly into space*
Now on to two of my favourite vict- ehm, characters. Anna and Bates.
Anna discoveres she is pregnant, Bates has to go into exile on the Isle of Man, Anna gets raped by the gardener-
- she stabs and kills him, is sentenced to death but they have to wait until the child is born which gives Bates the time to convince the judge to hang him instead because how could he live with himself if Anna were to be executed because obviously Bates's feelings are what matters here. Then it turns out Carson's insane wife broke out of the asylum and stabbed the gardener because she can't stand the sight of green aprons but it's too late and Bates is hanged and...
None of this makes any sense! *flails*
I don't see the problem. Now to my special little friend. Thomas... *rubs hands*
Dare I ask?
So Thomas and that doe-eyed lad Andy fall in love and he's a changed man and glows with happiness.
Now we are talking!
Then Thomas gets raped by a house guest-
What the?! What's with the rape thing? We already had a badly handled rape plot!
Yes, but we never had a MAN raped so- wait, what do you mean badly handled?
Nevermind, I.. look, no raping Thomas, okay?
Then the Andy lad?
NO ONE GETS RAPED!!!
Then at least some mild sexual harassment?
NO ONE- oh, well, actually that could be a really effective storyline. One could save the other and that could serve as a catalyst to admit their feelings to each other and-
You mean the audience would enjoy seeing that and it would be interesting psychologically and a nice challenge for the actors?
We can't have that. I'll go for the love triangle instead. Thomas loves Andy, Andy loves Daisy, Daisy falls in love with Thomas again. That way they will all be unhappy. I'm a genius! What are you doing?
Oh. Nothing. *types away furiously to set up a Go Fund Me-campaign to buy the rights to Downton Abbey*
when in doubt, hang around his step-mom’s flower shop // percico
Author’s Note: Written because cedarleaf knows I will write just about anything she asks of me, with the right amount of soul-offering.
Normally, Nico hated the days he worked at his step-mother’s flower shop. The hours he put in were long and boring. The shop smelled overly sweet all the time, the air perfumed with the various scents of roses, orchids, gardenias, lilies, and about fifty other various floral smells that Nico couldn’t name and didn’t care to try to name. Flowers weren’t his thing, really. He preferred his video games, which he often played on the clock because he was so bored, especially during the slow hours. Leveling up his Pokemon to go fight the Elite Four was so much more interesting than sitting behind the counter with nothing to do.
I'm experiencing a lot of emotional conflict. I feel that Zach and Frankie are two people that are really just perfect together. I think they both need to be honest with themselves and each other but then, my inner cynic wonders if they have been honest and I just can't accept it. Is there really anything deeper to their relationship? Or am I just grasping at straws trying to confirm a false hope? Have you ever had this doubt or do I just need to be more positive?
Good question. Apologizing now for this ridiculously long answer…
If I had doubts I wouldn’t be in this fandom. I wouldn’t allow myself to get invested in something that I thought wasn’t real.
Of course I’d still adore the zankie friendship but I wouldn’t follow their every move, or make long posts about them, or reblog every little thing about them if I felt like it was PURELY a friendship.
I’ve had other real life pairings where I wished and hoped that it was real but deep down I KNEW that it wasn’t. And as fun as it is to support those pairings, i cant get truly invested if i know its not there… I feel like my gut tells me if something is real or if its not. Of course I don’t know everything and just because I feel something could be true that doesn’t mean that it necessarily is, but I just have a very strong feeling (that’s backed up from lots and lots of proof) that there is something there between these two.
I heard about “zankie” the first week before I ever started watching the feeds and immediately I thought that people were probably exaggerating their interactions. I heart people questioning zachs sexuality and i kinda laughed it off, thinking zach was most likely straight. Ive been in a fandom before where two guys were shipped and people had all these theories about them being together and I didn’t fully believe those theories and I still don’t (though Im not claiming anything as fact, you never really know I guess…) and when I checked out the zankie tag it really was just out of curiosity to see some cute friendshippy stuff. i didnt really think id get invested.
The first moment I ever saw with them was when they were in the kitchen, very early in the season and Frankie was getting ready for bed, going around and hugging everyone and zach was just STARING at him, as if he were waiting for his turn. It was in that small little moment that I genuinely felt like there was something there. I was convinced in that SECOND because of how Zach was looking at him. Because it was unique to me that this guy was just watching this other guy so intently like that. And then of course they actually do hug and zach closes his eyes and its super deep and intense and Zach goes to lift up Frankies shirt and my heart was seriously on the floor. It was such a sexual thing to me and knowing that Frankie is a gay man… I just found it weird (in a good way) that zach would do something like that. Te way he touched him felt so intimate. They whispered something to each other and Zachs smile was HUGE and I was just convinced from that first second that there was something there… there had to be!
And every moment after that further confirmed my belief. There are just too many amazing moments and quotes and things that back it up. The amount of times that Zach says “if I were gay”, all of their intimate cuddly moments (specifically where zach takes it further then it needs to go by touching his butt, or playing with hair, or massaging him), all of the comments made by everyone else (his mother being unsure, his college friend claiming theyd hook up before the season even started, the houseguests commenting on it), zach complimenting frankie 24/7 (saying hes perfect, saying hes the funniest person hes ever met in his life etc), zachs curiosity on the subject (him saying that gay sex sounds exciting and asking questions about it), and especially Cody’s confession about zach admitting that he wanted to “fuck” frankie. WHAT STRAIGHT MAN WOULD EVER USE THOSE WORDS? And it was during a time where the cameras were not on them. These are all very good reasons that people (including Julie chen and other big brother players… not just fans) question zach and what hes feeling.
Its even in the little moments, like when they look at one another, or when they share an inside joke, or when zach does something for Frankie (like make a sandwich or do dishes with him or cut his hair) that make me really and truly believe that he has feelings for Frankie.
From the start of their journey, and with each day that went by there was just another thing that happened that made me think there was more to the story.
Their cuddling intensified. Zach waited for the lights to be off and then HE TURNED TO FRANKIE to sleep next to him and touch him. That entire night in the hoh with cody, they were ridiculous intimate, holding hands, zach stroking his arm, laying right behind him in bed…. These are all things that go past the point of friendship.
We had Zach getting obviously jealous over Frankie flirting with the girls and other guys in the house, zach constantly “pretending” to hook up with Frankie, zach following Frankie around, zach only addressing frankie in a room full of people, zach dressing like Frankie, zach never talking bad about him (until he was hurt), zach talking about Frankie to other houseguests, and (not related to frankie ONLY, but) zachs clear disinterest/inexperience with females.
And then the most telling moment of all, when Frankie “betrayed” zach and wanted to vote him out, zach was heartbroken. He shut down, he got mad, he cried in the freaking dr. he told Frankie he felt like his wife cheated on him. Zach was admitting everything without even realizing it.
And those last days in the house, he tells Frankie “WHEN THE CAMERAS AREN’T AROUND.” I don’t understand how anyone can see that moment and not think there is more to the story. Why would he ever say that if what he was telling Frankie all season (about being straight) was true. Why would he need to talk without cameras? And zach spills the beans all on his own by admitting to Frankie “I cant believe how much I love this homosexual” and he uses “in love” interchangeably with it, confirming it all on is own.
and from the other side, we have frankie. who also questions zachs sexuality. and hes on the receiving end of this interaction. hes a gay man. he has to know that something is there or he wouldnt push zach the way that he has.
The facts are there. You cant tell me that you would act like this with someone and not have some sort of romantic feelings toward that person, I DON’T BELIEVE IT.
Don’t ever doubt Zachs feelings for Frankie. The haters wanna get in your head and make you think that it isn’t true but it so clearly is. Any time I have that RARE minuscule little thought that MAYBE just maybe I could be wrong, I laugh it off and watch ANY ONE of zankies moments and my belief comes back ten fold. The proof is in the pudding.
Because you are Ursula with a keyboard and I'm fairly sure your laptop is possessed and an instrument of torture: OQ A long weekend
For you, my dear gazelle-legs, and for Emily31594 who asked for OQ fic to brighten up her day. I’m rather tired, so I hope this is alright. :)
A Long Weekend:
Robin checks the roster, confirming the consent forms, logging medical information, making certain each boy has everything he needs before they embark on the hike. It will take over an hour to reach the campsite with fifteen scouts in tow, even with the parental volunteers to assist in herding the boys along.
He’s currently only missing one before they are able to depart—Henry Mills.
The boy is a new pack member who has been attending recent meetings with a friend, a friendly and eager child who says very little but smiles at everything. R. Mills will be accompanying Henry the registration form states, and Robin realizes he has never met Henry’s father. At eight, he is one of the younger scouts to embark on this weekend trek into the wilderness, so the fact that his father has elected to come along is probably a good thing. It can be rough sometimes with first-timers if they are sent out on their own, and he has sat up by many a camp-fire into the wee hours whispering legends of the Arapaho, the Cherokee, and the Iroquois into small ears until anxiety is replaced by wonder and heavy lids outweigh homesickness.
It’s too bad the man doesn’t seem to be able to tell time. Mr. Mills is already nearly twenty minutes late.
The screeching of tires interrupts his musings, and he turns his head quickly to see a champagne colored BMW pull into the church parking lot from which they will depart. Great, he thinks to himself. The last thing he needs this weekend is to have to hold the hand of a pretty rich boy out to show his son just how manly he is by sleeping under the stars and fighting off ticks.
Wait—not a pretty rich boy after all, he realizes with a start. Rather a stunning rich woman. He feels every physical sense go on alert at the exact fit of her jeans, the perfect sway of her hips, the red lips that smile down at Henry as the child tugs his backpack out of the back seat and zips up his jacket.
Christ, he can’t be looking at another man’s wife like this, it’s bad form, especially if the man is going to be sitting across from him while roasting hot dogs and toasting s’mores. But the longer he stares, the more he wonders just where Mr. Mills may be, and he draws in a deep breath, pulling his body back in check as he makes his way towards Henry and the woman he is sure is the boy’s mother.
“I’m Robin Locksley,” he introduces himself, catching a whiff of expensive perfume as he extends his hand. “Scoutmaster of Pack 22. Are you Henry’s mother?”
He’s certain she just checked him out, albeit so subtly that fiery tingles erupt down his pants.
“Yes,” she smiles back, taking his offered hand and shaking it firmly. “Regina Mills. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Locksley.”
“Robin,” he corrects with a grin, wondering just how black her eyes actually are. Regina, he thinks, saying the name over to himself silently, realizing it somehow fits her like a leather glove.
Stop it, he commands himself. Thinking of Regina and leather at the same time will do nothing but make his jeans excessively tight.
“Is your husband driving separately?” he asks, clearing his voice to bring his voice back down an octave. “Or has something come up that will prevent him from joining us this weekend?”
Those dark eyes narrow slightly, the upward curve of her lips tightening.
“I’m not married,” she returns, taking one step closer. “And no, nothing will prevent me from joining Henry on his first campout.”
He nearly chokes on his own saliva, coughing in an attempt to retrieve air into his lungs.
“I’m sorry, Ms. Mills,” he returns carefully, trying his best not to cough yet again. “This is a father-son camping expedition. Perhaps you didn’t realize that when you filled out Henry’s registration form.”
“I read it in its entirety,” she informs him smoothly. “I’m an attorney. It’s what I do.”
He shifts back on his haunches, recognizing a power play for what it is.
“Then you understand that this particular weekend was created to promote male bonding,” he explains, his arms outstretched in a gesture of peace. “Our family campout is scheduled for next month, and we would love to have you join us then.”
“Henry doesn’t have a father, Mr. Locksley,” she tosses back, the edge in her voice noticeable. “But that shouldn’t deprive him of the company of his parent on his first camping trip, nor from experiencing the joys of male bonding simply because he is being raised by a single mother. Surely you wouldn’t disappoint one of your scouts in such a traumatic fashion.”
He stares at her unblinking as her brow draws up in a challenge.
“I wouldn’t dream of it,” he hums, putting on his best smirk as her eyes spark dangerously.
“Good,” she replies. “Now kindly inform me where the vehicle is where I can load my luggage.”
He blinks rapidly, wondering if she is joking, discovering quickly that she is not by the sharp angle of her expression.
“It’s a hike, Ms. Mills,” he informs her, deliberately avoiding the use of her title. “Into the mountains. No road. No cars. No electricity. No luggage.”
Her face falls into a momentary look of panic as Henry rushes off to join the other boys.
“So how am I supposed to transport my supplies?” she questions, her attempt at appearing unfazed nearly convincing, but not quite.
“The same way I’m transporting mine,” he grins, hoisting his pack off the ground. “Carry it.”
Her laughter is throaty and deep, and he joins her in her merriment until it naturally fades away.
“I’m not in the mood to be toyed with Mr. Locksley,” she fires back, and he knows she is loading ammunition for the next round.
“And I have no desire to toy with you, Ms. Mills,” he states flatly. “I hope you brought along a backpack.”
“What I packed is none of your concern,” she returns icily.
“You’re right,” he nods. “Except as the Scout master in charge of this camping trip, I must make certain that all of my charges are prepared for what lies ahead. Are you ready to take on this challenge, Ms. Mills? It’s not too late to change your mind, you know.”
He can’t help but stare at her ass as she moves to the back of her car, hoisting out her sleek black luggage with wheels, making her way back to him in boots she will ruin half an hour into their journey.
“I think you’ll find I’m up for anything, Mr. Locksley,” she bites back, making him roll his eyes and pray it doesn’t rain as he prepares himself to set off for the forest with one Regina Mills in tow. It is shaping up to be a long weekend, indeed.
When she was in his arms, Shepard felt safe, warm, and loved, his embrace somehow able to wipe away her worries, fears, and nightmares. No one she had ever been involved with had that affect on her and she was fairly convinced that no one besides him would ever make her feel that way again. She loved him with every ounce of her being, and she knew that he felt the same way, which only made this night more difficult than it already had been. They had been talking, seriously discussing the future—their future—and that’s when Shepard made a decision that she thought she would never have to make. Just thinking about everything that had led them up to this point made a knot form in her stomach and her mind race with thoughts of “what if” and “if only,” causing her to feeling increasingly depressed about what was about to happen.