and i'll put every bit of will i have left to last until they return

Chocolate

Because it’s about time, honestly.

rated T

~~~

Once, when he was younger, his mother told him a story from a book of stories, (all of which were written so strangely, he could only understand their iambic pentameter when she read it) and despite his confusion, he could never forget it.

“It’s based on a real story, my son,” she had hummed to him. “A real story of love and tragedy.”

“So they die, big deal.”

“Death is not the only tragedy.”

He never got it. Why would someone sacrifice the opportunity for power for something as ridiculous as love? How could someone fall in love with such abandon? With such complete and utter arrogance?

So when the fleet arrived and the lovers were left to face the last of their lives, Keith had snorted to himself quietly. It was to be expected. Love was not their tragedy. Arrogance was.

Eventually, life took his mother away and with her the story of Antony and Cleopatra.

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Pregnancy

  • Growing up, Tonks never really pictured herself as a mother. It wasn’t that she had anything against her own, but there were lots of struggles and fights over differing opinions on clothes, music, and other things that made her feel a bit smothered. Guess there’s a reason that the word mother is in the word smother.
  • It didn’t take long for her and Remus to get pregnant — not that either of them had been trying for a baby, just caught up in that wonderful newlywed bliss. In the beginning she would always say they were pregnant. 
  • She found out the day of Bill and Fleur’s wedding, but not wanting to spoil her friend’s big day only told Remus. Rather than being scared or upset like she’d always expected to be, thanks to a scare she had with an ex, Tonks was actually thrilled to be having a baby with her husband, the love of her life. 
  • His initial reaction didn’t dampen her spirits either. In a book lent to her by her mother, given to her by Ted’s mother, called ‘What To Expect When You’re Expecting’ it has a whole section on fathers. It said something along the lines of how women became mothers the instant that test was positive, but most men didn’t become fathers until they actually held their child in their arms. That was what she kept reminding herself every time Remus voiced his fears over what their child could become.
  • At first she insisted they were having a girl; call it mother’s intuition or whatever but she was certain. Then a month later she was saying it was a boy. She went back and forth the entire pregnancy, maybe because Teddy himself was still deciding.
  • When Remus left her she felt like a huge piece of her had gone with him. She’d begged, pleaded for him not to go, that they would figure things out if the baby showed signs of being a werewolf, but still he left. The only thing that kept her from going into a complete depression like she had the last time he had left her was the innocent child growing in her belly. It wasn’t their fault that their father had gone and they deserved a mother who would be there for them fully. At that moment Tonks began to call it her baby.
  • She went to stay with her mother. Living at home again was tough, her mother put her on a strict diet that cut her off from the sugar and caffeine she loved so much. Everyday she missed Remus, sometimes curling up in a sweater of his and smelling it to remember his scent, crying at how deeply she missed him. 
  • It was at that point that she started talking to the baby in her belly almost nonstop, saying things that she would usually say to her husband. Tonks also told her baby endless stories on every subject: Remus (so they would know their father), her parents, embarrassing things she’d done over the years (either putting her foot in her mouth or by tripping over her feet since she was such a klutz), and her favorite fairytales (both muggle and wizard as she knew both from her parents.) She also felt this was an important time to begin their musical education and played every single album she owned, celebrating when the baby kicked along to the Weird Sisters.
  • Some time before Christmas Remus returned. It didn’t take too long before Tonks forgave him for leaving her, she loved him far too much to hold it against him when she knew how much pain he felt over the subject. But what she couldn’t immediately forgive was how he’d left their child (it switched back the moment he showed up on her doorstep.)
  • Tonks let him move back in with her, her mother wasn’t so thrilled, but she refused to allow him to help her with anything baby related. She assembled the crib, attempted to knit a few hats and booties (it was impossible to differentiate between the two), and whenever the morning sickness hit she’d refuse to let him help her. It was her little way of proving it to him that she could do all this on her own, not at all to punish him. All she needed was to be sure that he was really there for their child and wouldn’t leave again.
  • When she finally felt sure about a week later, she showed him all the little things she’d learned about their baby, the songs they liked and how they danced in her tummy. What thrilled her more than anything was how the baby reacted to hearing Remus’ voice, kicking happily as if trying to reach out to him.
  • With Remus and her mother both doting on her the rest of her pregnancy went smoother, though she made sure her husband knew how betrayed she felt that he took away her hidden stash of sugar quills by reminding him of the vows he’d made to her on their wedding day.
  • Having been worried for so long that their child would be afflicted with lycanthropy, it came as a complete shock when instead Teddy showed signs of being a metamorphmagus like Tonks. The thought had never crossed her mind.

anonymous asked:

(1) I've read over your Camilla analysis and while I liked it I feel that I must point out a couple of things your post has missed, especially regarding why Camilla is so obsessed with Kamui. While Camilla says to Zero that "Kamui has gone through a lot in his/her childhood…perhaps that’s why I treat him/her kindly." Zero disagrees and tells her that she devotes her love for Kamui as a form of self-comfort for her own situation. AND CAMILLA DOESN'T DISAGREE WITH ZERO. She says 'so what?'

(2) camilla’s obsession with Kamui is stronger than Tharja’s obession with Robin. When Kamui sides with Hoshido, Camilla says ‘lets kill them… all of them. If we do that he’ll/she’ll come back to us’. In Chapter 13 her jealousy is so strong that she says that she’ll kill Kamui and every last hoshido troop. Even her S-Support lines to Kamui show dependency issues since she can’t bear Kamui leaving her for another woman. I strongly feel that her yandere side should have been included.

Man, this has been sitting in my drafts for awhile now! But finally I have time to write an appropriate response, basically an add-on analysis to Camilla’s original. Thank you for your patience anon!

(extra hot mini camilla anon-lysis under the cut <3 literally love barf part 2! Please read original camilla analysis to understand this one)

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Monster (part ½)
minkey, mention of past taekey / pg-15 /  4k words (this part), ~11k (total) / angst like whoa / [part two]
warnings: mentions of past rape

in which Minho rescues an injured creature from the side of the road.

Kibum lies still at the side of the road, curled up in a filthy, frozen ditch, and shivering. He has his eyes screwed shut, but that doesn’t help the nauseous dizziness pulsing in waves throughout his body–  hot in his stomach, thick and cold in his throat. Many of the wounds torn into his sides are still bleeding, sluggish and slow. His head hurts. His everything hurts. He’s fairly sure he’s concussed.

He’s fairly sure he’s dying. 

Each breath is an agony, drawn in through cracked ribs and a broken nose. His mouth is full of blood, and his gums hurt where some of his teeth have been knocked out. He’s never been so weak in his life. The shame of being left to die in a ditch like this burns through him and makes everything ache worse. He doesn’t want to die, but self-hatred at his own fragility makes the prospect of eternal restful oblivion seem sweeter than it should.

It’s snowing out here, lazy flakes spiraling from the sky. The ditch is full of frozen gray sludge, and the street is empty of traffic just now, for which Kibum is grateful. At least no one else has to witness this ignominious end.

The cold settles into his bones, a creeping menace every bit as dangerous as his other wounds. Kibum’s shivering begins to slow. He sighs with quiet, painful relief; this is it then, the beginning of the end.

He loses consciousness just as the sound of footsteps echoes through the misty night air, slow at first, then faster. Kibum pays no attention to the sudden shouting that accompanies the footsteps, or to the warm, gloved hands which start trying to shake him into wakefulness.

It is time to sleep forever.

~~~

Forever turns out to be a very short time, in the end.

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For Now (I'll Take You As I Can)

It’s up a little later than planned, but here’s the fic I promised when I hit 800 followers! I’m thinking I’m gonna try and post a new one for every hundred followers.


Anyway, this is just a little fic to bridge the Cophine gap between 2x01 and 2x02 (because we went from taking half-naked blood samples by candlelight to joking about crazy science in front of Leekie, and I felt like something needed to  happen in between that). It gets a little NSFW towards the very end (which was seriously not my intention, but hey. sometimes things happen).

(AO3, FF)

Cosima lounged back on Felix’s couch, head sunk into the pillows. She stared absently at the ceiling, one foot crossed lazily over the other, and twirled an unlit joint between her fingers. She contemplated lighting it. It wouldn’t be her first today, and she didn’t feel particularly inclined to smoke at the moment, but dammit if she wasn’t bored. Her fingers itched for her lighter.

Probably a bad idea, considering the whole degenerating-lungs-thing, she thought. Probably gonna have to cut back on that. Shit.

She sighed and tucked the joint behind her ear. She wished Sarah would come back with her glasses already. She’d already mentally berated herself for leaving her spare frames back in Minnesota, but then again this hadn’t exactly been a planned trip. She wished she could stop vacillating between being so goddamned annoyed with Sarah and with being more than a small bit terrified for her safety. Mostly she wished that she didn’t feel so damned helpless here.

Screw Sarah for snatching her things like that. Screw Sarah for her stupid, rash impulses. And screw Sarah for putting herself in danger. Again.

She wished Sarah had maybe warned her that she was going to take her glasses. Bitch.

(She also kind of wished she knew whether Sarah was okay)

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