and i'll be there every step of the way

  • Me: having a structured life is exhausting!
  • Therapist: I understand. Let's say just get up in the morning, get some breakfast, go for a walk...and that's it for a start.
  • Me: *internally: sounds reasonable, but that means first fighting against my will to just stay in bed and act as if I'm not existing. Getting up either way and facing my face and body in the mirror. There's an 80% chance that it's one of those days and I hate myself just so fucking much I could scream. But there's also a chance I look in the mirror and find a person that does not seem to be familiar to me looking back at me. Still, now you want me to shower and wash this body I find really disgusting. I have to see every single scar I have and maybe feel the burn of fresh cuts. Then I have to put on cloth, brush my teeth and my hair and do my makeup, as I can't go outside without hiding my ugly face under layers of primers and foundations and powders and highlighters and fake lashes and a perfect contour and a big nude fake smile. I spend money I don't have to make myself look good enough for myself to endure my own appearance. I remember to take my meds. Now I'm dressed (in clothes that hopefully say 'i don't care' when really I care a lot) and can go to the kitchen to prepare food that I know I won't be able to eat in 50% of the cases. There's also a good chance that I eat it and then find myself throwing up and ruining my makeup feeling every single disgusting cell of fat on my body vibrate while trying to breathe. Well either way let's say I might redo my make-up, brush my teeth again and step outside. I maybe take my horse with me and walk through the neighbourhood. I have to see people. I feel anxious. I would love to just turn around and go back home. But I keep on walking, trying to seem selfconfident so my horse and neighbours can't see or feel my insecurity. I'll try to be friendly and act normal even though I'm sure they hate me and laugh about me. Still if the communication between my horse and me isn't perfect today I'll probably cry and if a neighbour just looks at me in a way that i interpret to be unfriendly or cold or annoyed I'll probably cry too. Let's say I'm back home. Now it's like 11 in the morning. What do I do? By now I'm an emotional wreck, tired as hell, probably planing on how to harm myself with one half of my brain while the other half bundles it's last energy to prevent exactly this from happening. How do I survive the rest?*
  • Me: I'll try.
Finding Wynonna in a Crowd:
  • Waverly: "Oh great, I lost Wynonna." *cups hands to her mouth* "Free whiskey and donuts here!"
  • Wynonna: *Nowhere to be seen*
  • Waverly: *Mutters* "Maybe she did finally decide I wasn't really an Earp and decided to ditch me here. That's typical of my family ;-;"
  • Wynonna: *Barges through the crowd, knocking over lots of people* "WAVERLY BLOOD DOESN'T MATTER YOU'LL ALWAYS BE MY LITTLE SISTER AND I WILL PROTECT YOU TO THE DEATH!"
  • Waverly: "Aww :)"
  • *Police cruiser screeches in out of nowhere pulls up*
  • Nicole (with a megaphone): "WAVERLY YOU'RE THE EARPIEST EARP OF THEM ALL AND AS LONG AS YOU WANT ME I'LL BE WITH YOU EVERY STEP OF THE WAY. ALSO YOU'RE HELLA CUTE!"
  • Waverly: "...Ok that was really sweet but you're supposed to be at work and the police station 10 miles from here??? Anyway text me later!" *blows kiss*
  • Wynonna: *Dramatically gagging behind Waverly*

you know, it’s crazy. for the longest time i was so jealous of your cups, your bed, your socks, the drugs you consumed, and even god. some of the most simplistic things. although now, i have something new to be jealous of. something much more complex.
her.
i am no longer jealous of the cups you drink out of because now you’re sharing your drinks with her and your lips are touching hers. i am no longer jealous of your bed as for you’re intertwining your legs with hers and she’s the one who keeps you safe at night. i am no longer jealous of your socks because now she locks her soft hands with yours while walking through crowded places and is there with you every step of the way. i am no longer jealous of the drugs you consume because now you’re doing drugs with her, getting high, and even then she can still manage to make you feel higher than the drugs. i am no longer jealous of the god in the sky as for now she’s the one knowing all the integrate parts of you. you know, it’s crazy. now i’m dealing with something much more complicated.

Much Ado About Episode 33

I’m fascinated by Mikasa’s ability to be the fandom’s lightning rod, especially when it comes to the anime. 

I had a sort of realization as to why there’s a surge of negativity targeted towards her from this episode alone, and from the manga-reader crowd of all people. This is just my opinion, but I don’t believe this is all sudden character hate – this is people still feeling mistrustful of and disliking the anime’s portrayal of her based on past experience.

From what I’ve gathered, season 1 Mikasa did not leave the best impression on fans. Many who compared that adaptation of her to her manga counterpart felt that she was too Eren-centric overall. So when season 2 finally aired, that residual uncertainty bled over. I think the third episode of this season (episode 28) is what fully opened up that old wound again. That’s the episode where an important key to her character development was left out, leaving quite a bit of fans feeling more wary than ever about how the anime would continue to handle her character (I wrote about it here). 

Fans feared that her flaws would be glossed over, and for understandable reasons. But honestly, I’m not so concerned about that cut anymore in terms of her characterization. It was just last episode that Mikasa acknowledged her failure to kill Reiner and Bert when she had the chance. That was also in the manga, and while it feels like such a hollow victory to celebrate the anime doing the bare minimum in that regard, it’s still a promising sign. Overall, I’d say this season is doing a much better job at portraying her accurately. @guyinlovewitheremika put it best in this post.

Bad news is, that mistrust in the anime is tainting fans’ perception of Mikasa altogether. Suddenly it’s like every little thing about her is taken as a sign of the anime team messing up her character or pushing their own agenda, right down to her physical appearance. The thing fans disliked the most about her portrayal last season was that her fixation on Eren was overdone. This is the tricky part, because Mikasa’s attachment to Eren does bring about clear flaws that are undoubtedly part of her character growth. It’s not like her attachment to him is OOC, it’s right there in the manga. But because the anime – according to many fans – exaggerated that part of her character, there’s this knee-jerk reaction to whenever she actually is supposed to show concern about Eren. Instead of recognizing that this is perfectly in character for her, people are taking this as an indication of the anime wrongly depicting her because of their version of the story told so far.

It’s backlash at her for being in character while perceiving it as being OOC.

This episode that was adapted from chapter 45 highlighted that attitude best.

Putting the original flashback aside for a second, she acts exactly the same as she does in the respective chapter. Dialogue and everything. There, she’s incredibly worried about Eren, frantic, and becoming despondent over the realization that he’s gotten so far away. By “gotten away,” I mean she realizes that Eren was just kidnapped by two powerful and dangerous enemies that she blames herself for not killing earlier when given the chance, has every reason to believe they will kill him, keeping in mind that these are the very same people who are responsible for destroying her second home and most of her second family as well. 

And they’ve gotten a 5 hour head start. The prospects are, well, not good for Eren from this perspective.

I’ll admit she’s never been a favorite of mine, but I could always understand and sympathize with her. Eren is the person who saved her, who taught her to fight back instead of accepting her cruel fate, who became part of her new family she was immediately welcomed into after just watching her parents be brutally murdered. Her parents, who were her entire world. Family is by the far the most important thing to her, and she acts on that wish to keep what little of that she has together after losing so much already.

Waking up to the realization that she may very well be losing more of her family again devastates her, and why wouldn’t it? In the flashback, she’s a 9 or 10 year old. Well before any semblance of character development takes place in story. So she, unsurprisingly, is more overbearing with Eren back then. Running to his side the moment she learns he’s off picking fights again, telling him to get back home, and distressed when Eren once again leaves her behind to try to finish a fight he won’t win.

But because this wasn’t written in the manga by Isayama himself, then it’s subjected to even more scrutiny. It makes it easier for people to brush this off as the anime team just failing to understand certain characters and their relationships with others.

Whether you like it or not, Mikasa’s relationship with Eren is a focus for this arc especially. So of course it’s necessary to emphasize that, but I don’t think it’s being over exaggerated at all. This arc just has the misfortune of immediately following the events of season 1 that had fans feeling so uneasy in the first place. If/when we ever get to see the Uprising arc animated, I think there’ll be fewer accusations towards the anime disloyally adapting her character. 

A great deal of her development is about learning to let go, to trust Eren to look after himself knowing he won’t so recklessly put his life in danger, to not let her emotions cloud her judgement and be a more reliable soldier. As of chapter 45, which the anime just showed, she has not fully reached that point. She is still growing. Much of that growth doesn’t happen until after chapter 50.

The lack of faith in the anime team is resulting in some visceral reactions to even the most trivial of changes. 

This isn’t limited to Mikasa either. I’ve seen a lot fans anxious over whether or not certain pieces of dialogue would even make the cut, or if a dynamic between characters wouldn’t be depicted accurately or even severely downplayed.

I’ve been wary of the second season for a while now because of the way characters like Eren were handled in the past (looking you, lava-veined berserk titan), but now I have a lot more confidence in this adaptation than before. Like Mikasa’s attachment isn’t being overdone, Armin’s bond with Eren isn’t being downplayed, and Eren has stayed true to his behavior from the manga even while fighting Reiner. All of them are in character. Some of that worry is still there for when crucial character moments come around, but I’d rather deal with that when the time comes instead of fretting about it so much.

As of now, I’d say most of the manga-readers are guilty of constantly referring back to season 1 to determine how characters will continue to be portrayed. That was 4 years ago. There has been a lot more canon material available for the anime team to use over that time, along with meetings with the author himself. 

This isn’t going to be a perfect adaptation every step of the way, but at this point it’s unfair to say that the anime is completely messing up characters like Mikasa. What was done in the past can’t be changed, but I think they’re doing their best to make up for that and loyally following the source material, at the very least when it comes to the main cast. 

Basically, this isn’t an issue with Mikasa. It’s the fandom having an issue with the anime.

Many Burgers, Many Days - Jughead Jones Imagine

REQUESTED: No, but I already did an Archie imagine so I wanted to do one for Jughead!

WARNINGS: Sarcasm. And puns. (Also some swearing.)

SUMMARY: A story of yours and Jug’s relationship over the summer.

NOTES: So, Episode 3 of Riverdale happened. Yep. (Please can Grundy just get out :////)

Also, I’m getting closer and closer to performance night for my school musical, so updates may be few and far between.

Anyways, hope you enjoy this one! 

Originally posted by mieczyslwstilinski

Keep reading

like morning follows night sentence starters.
  • ❝ you don't know what it's like to live in shadows. ❞
  • ❝ you don't have to spend your life looking backward. ❞
  • ❝ we've been through this over and over again. ❞
  • ❝ you can't just wish it away. ❞
  • ❝ the past is the past, it'll never change. ❞
  • ❝ we have a chance to make it better if we try. ❞
  • ❝ you're free to do the things you want, but listen so am i. ❞
  • ❝ i made my choice. ❞
  • ❝ now i'm making mine. ❞
  • ❝ go where you need to. ❞
  • ❝ know i won't leave you. ❞
  • ❝ hard to know where to turn when your life's a disaster. ❞
  • ❝ now could never make up for then. ❞
  • ❝ life's not a game you can play to get even. ❞
  • ❝ we all make mistakes but we need to move on. ❞
  • ❝ i know that you hate when you stray. ❞
  • ❝ forgiving yourself is the only way. ❞
  • ❝ just look ahead, yesterday is gone. ❞
  • ❝ i know you think you're being selfless but you're not. ❞
  • ❝ i refuse to risk another's pain again. ❞
  • ❝ no matter what, you'll never walk alone. ❞
  • ❝ you'll never understand. ❞
  • ❝ i still believe in you. ❞
  • ❝ i'll follow everyday, every step of the way. ❞
  • ❝ i'll follow you like morning follows night. ❞
I want to be the one that heals you. I want to be the one that makes all the bad go away. I know it may take time but I want to be there every step of the way. One day I want you to look at me with a smile on your face and tell me how happy you are, how the past no longer hurts, how all the wounds turned to scars and although the past cannot be forgotten, it no longer pains you. I want to be the one that saves you, that makes you believe in love again, that makes you see that not everyone out there is out to hurt you.

I didn’t fall in love with you.

I walked into love with you, my eyes wide open, choosing to take every step along the way.

I do believe in fate and destiny, but I also believe we are only fated to do the things we’d choose anyway.

And I’d choose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I’d find you and I’d choose you.

—  The Chaos of Stars

anonymous asked:

Long distance lover

It’s been a while since I’ve written you,
But don’t worry dear, I haven’t forgotten you.
But I have forgotten what it’s like to be loved
I’ve forgotten the way your hands felt interlaced with mine
I’ve forgotten the way your skin felt against mine
I’ve forgotten about the way you used to call me baby, in that cute little accent of yours.
But don’t worry, my long distance lover, I’ll never forget you.
Because with every step I take, and every day I conquer, my love for you grows fonder.
You’re etched in my brain
You’re the one I want
And it doesn’t matter the distance, because you’re the one I’ll wait for.

Okay so you know how Asmodeus is supposed to have a lot of children (most of which are already dead?) But what about the ones that aren’t? That would mean Magnus probably has quite a few siblings still, so imagine:

Simon Lewis is an eighteen year old who may or may not have powers. He just knows that ever since he was little, sometimes weird things have happened​ by accident. Afraid of someone finding out, he does everything he can to repress his powers and keep them a secret. Until someone named Magnus Bane shows up at his door unexpectedly and claims to be his brother, showing Simon that he has powers too, and they’re nothing to be afraid of, telling Simon that he is in fact a warlock.

Taking Simon under his wing, Magnus uses his spare time to teach Simon how to harness his magic, for both normal day life and in battle, and how to make wards and potions, and open portals, sometimes letting him tag along to meet clients.

Simon spending time with his new brother also introduces him to some new friends. Shadowhunter girlfriends Clary and Isabelle. Werewolves Maia and Luke - a man who Simon starts to easily look up to as a father figure. Alec, another Shadowhunter and Magnus’s boyfriend.

And of course Jace, Alec’s and Izzy’s cute brother who, whenever he smiles, Simon sometimes loses control of his powers - and no he did not mean for that candle to melt down into the shape of a heart…

Balancing his home life with his mother and sister, and his new life that he never imagined could have existed, is something else he’ll have to learn to control, but Magnus promises to be there every step of the way.

What’s the worst part?“ She asks, gazing over at me.

I take my eyes off my phone as I reply, “The worst part?”

“About heartbreak,” She says, “what’s the worst part about it?”

“Other than the crippling feeling of the way your body aches with every step,” I start, “I think it’s knowing you’ll never be the same.

—  E. Grin, it’s knowing you’ll never be the same

Several things before I fall into bed and stay there awhile blessedly unconscious:

- I made it back home safely tonight and am happily reunited with the hubby. <3

- This trip was wonderful and I’m so glad I decided to go — I got to spend a lot of good quality time with many dear family members and made a lot of memories with them I’ll treasure.

- Last night we got some really bad news. My dear uncle and aunt, who we just spent the day at the lake with a week or so earlier, had a plane crash yesterday evening. Miraculously, my uncle was able to bring the plane down in a way so that they both survived, despite having to land in the trees. My aunt got out with some minor injuries, but my uncle is in the ICU with multiple serious injuries. Thankfully, we heard today that he is stable, he can move all his limbs, and two surgeries to repair his pelvis and stop internal bleeding were successful. He is still in critical condition however and has a long recovery ahead of him. Prayers would be appreciated, for him as well as for the whole family.

- I feel a renewed desire to dive back into writing fic (and reading others’) and to engage in creativity of all sorts. We’ll see how this goes. I also feel a renewed desire to be productive around the house/garden but considering that the trip has taken somewhat of a toll on my health, I’m less optimistic about that, at least for the near future (and correspondingly more optimistic about having time for creative pursuits that don’t involve as much physical effort).

And now, onward into glorious sleep

anonymous asked:

I watched the longer one and I think I hear Shawn say to the guy "you've been standing here saying I'll have a bad career and that I'm a dick..." so the guy was obviously messing with him beforehand.

There you go.

Before Shawn even got to him the guy was being a piece of shit.

He was being rude and he got told just like he deserved. That’s why his management didn’t say anything or step in because Shawn had every right to stand up for himself.

You don’t act that way and then expect an autograph from the guy you’re talking shit about.

SIGNS AS PANIC! AT THE DISCO LYRICS
  • Aries: “It's better to burn than to fade away- It's better to leave than to be replaced” - Nicotine
  • Taurus: “There's nothing wrong with just a taste of what you've paid for” - Ballad of the Mona Lisa
  • Gemini: “Everything I do is bittersweet- You could tell me secrets that I'll probably repeat. I’m not trying to hurt you, I just love to speak” - Bittersweet
  • Cancer: “And maybe if I continue watching I'll lose the traits that worry me” - New Perspective
  • Leo: “I've got more wit, a better kiss, a hotter touch, a better fuck than any boy you'll ever meet, sweetie you had me” - Lying is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off
  • Virgo: “And with the way you’ve been talking, every word gets you a step closer to Hell” - Nails for Breakfast Tacks for Snacks
  • Libra: “He-eyy- Where will you be waking up tomorrow morning? He-eyy- Out the back door, goddamn! But I love her anyway” - Miss Jackson
  • Scorpio: “I'm wrecking this evening already and loving every minute of it” - There's a Good Reason These Tables Are Numbered Honey. You Just Haven't Thought of It Yet
  • Sagittarius: “Your eyes are the size of the moon- You could 'cause you can so you do” - Nine in the Afternoon
  • Capricorn: “I'll stay awake 'til I trade my mistakes or they fade away” - Trade Mistakes
  • Aquarius: “No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality” - I Write Sins Not Tragedies
  • Pisces: “And you miss 'em like you miss no other, and being blue is better than being over it (over it)” - Hallelujah
"I'm pregnant"-Dragon Slayer.
  • Jaune: Hey Ruby, where's Yang?
  • Ruby, slightly worried look, she's been in the bathroom all morning, vomiting.
  • Jaune, gasps a bit: Oh my goodness! Is she okay!?!
  • Ruby, nods: She said something about wanting to talk to you, and....morning sickness?
  • Ruby, noticing Jaune's face go from shocked to nearly ghost white: What? What's morning sickness?
  • Blake, jumping to Ruby's side: Oohhhhh Ruby! Weiss and I were gonna go get coffee, how about you come with?
  • Ruby, as she's getting pushed out by Blake: But I was talking to Jaune?
  • Weiss, walking up to Jaune: You better be prepared to explain yourself when we get back, loverboy.
  • Jaune, watching as Weiss takes her leave, then runs to the home's bathroom: Y-Yang!?! Are you okay?
  • Yang, quickly looking up from the floor: You....you did this to me....I'm pregnant. Oh my god I'm too young for this. Twenty four is not the age to have a child!
  • Jaune, quietly: Well....you're birthday is soon, so you'll be twenty five...
  • Yang, angrily: Shut up...hrrrk
  • Jaune, cringing as Yang flings herself towards the toilet and vomits, but quickly works his way over to hold her hair back: Well, my sisters have had a few children already...and they didn't get like this until they were a bit farther in.
  • Yang, groaning, falling back on the floor: I'm just....I'm scared...
  • Jaune, getting down and tightly holds onto Yang's hand: Don't worry Yang, I love you. I'll be here every step of the way...
  • Yang, smiling weakly: Promise?
  • Jaune, kissing Yang on the forehead: Yes, I promise...
  • Yang, sighs: Good, because Weiss, Blake, and my Uncle Qrow all want to talk to you, I think he might come with Winter too.
  • Jaune, returning to the prior ghost white look: Oh....joy...
4

I didn’t fall in love with you. I walked into love with you, with my eyes wide open, choosing to take every step along the way. I do believe in fate and destiny, but I also believe we are only fated to do the things that we’d choose anyway. And I’d choose you.

Dear future husband,

Sometimes I wonder whether or not I already know you or if I am still yet to meet you. Some days I wonder where you are and what you’re up to. Sometimes I wish I could just know who you are already so I could start my life with you but I know that God’s timing is perfect and his will for our lives is perfect so when the time is right it will happen.

Even in this modern era, I want to be a traditional wife to you. I know in this is strange in today’s society but it’s what I’ve always wanted. When I say traditional I mean it in the way that I want to be a wife who serves her husband. I know that this is not something most women want and many frown upon it but more than anything it’s the type of wife I want to be.

Some days.. I get scared.. thinking I may never find you. Some days I get scared thinking I may never find the type of man who wants this and that I may settle for someone who is nothing like I want but I just had to settle because I could never find someone who understood what I wanted in a marriage. 

I want you to be my best friend. I don’t mean this in a hypocritical way that most couples seem to experience. People say that your spouse should be your best friend. Some people say that their spouse is their best friend but I don’t believe it. I see them lying to each other and keeping things from each other. I really do want you to be my best friend. I want you to be the first one I want to tell when something funny happened. I want you to seek refuge in your arms when I have a bad day and I want you to feel comfortable enough to do the same.

I can promise you that the only thing that comes before you in my life is God. I promise to never forget that you are not just my husband, but his son and I will always cherish the gift he gave me, the gift of having his son as my life companion. I can’t believe that I’m tearing up while writing this but right now I really am wondering what my future would be like and if I would ever find you.

I just hope.. that when I do meet you.. you can accept me for who I am and I will accept you for who you are. I will love you honor you every day of my life and I will never stop trying to be the wife that you need. I know that I’m not perfect. I will make mistakes and I hope you will be forgiving of my shortcomings. 

Ever since I was a young girl, I dreamt of the man I would spend my life with. Thing is, when ever anyone around me brings up marriage, the first thing that comes out of my mouth is “I never want to get married!!!” When it’s really the complete opposite. I guess there are two reasons I say this.. 1. Because I’m too shy to admit that its what I want.. in the presence of my family. Hell..  as long as I can remember I knew I never wanted them at my wedding because  I knew that having them there would mean me not being comfortable on my wedding day.

2. Because I guess it’s easier to have everyone believe that so they won’t be too disappointed if I never find someone who wants me. Everyone thinks I will be a horrible wife, it’s something I’ve worked for years to have them believe. I pretend to be all tough and mean but it’s all just a show… so far one one person has seen through my facade and he turned to me one day and said “I know what you’re doing and I hear them saying they are sorry for who ever you choose to marry but I see through you. I see what you’re doing and you will be one of the best wives I could ever imagine.”

I don’t know about being the ‘best wife’ but I know I will be a wife who is faithful and patient and kind and loving towards her husband. I want to be a wife who sees it as her duty to serve her husband. I want to submit to you as I submit to God’s will. I want to love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone else. I want to fill your life with love and I want to be there to support you every step of the way.

So, where ever you are.. this Valentines Day.. know that I am praying.. praying to find you.. praying to meet you.. praying that God leads us together. Praying for your health, your happiness, your long life.. praying that God makes you the type of man he wants you to be. Praying that you’re ready for me and that I am ready for you when we finally meet..

Love,
Your future wife.

— 

~Excerpts from the book I’ll never write #148

02/15/2015

12:48  am

Real life isn’t a fucking love story. We aren’t just going to wake up someday and be happy. I’m not going to magically get better because you want me to. If you want this, we’re going to have to fight, every goddamn step of the way.
—  from an unfinished story #567