and i was like shit i don't remember the order

greenbergsays  asked:

MCU headcanon: Bucky has an intense Amazon obsession. He's got a Prime membership and everything. Ordering shit online and not having to shop is his JAM. Now every time there's a delivery, the Avengers don't even bother to look at the name on the box. They're just like, "Barnes! It's for you." Bucky's like, "finally! My new kitchen knives." (Tony's like, who told him you can knives on Amazon??? And Natasha just smirks.)

Of course he does!

“Just come to the fucking store, Buck. We need groceries. We need groceries now, and not just whatever you can buy from Amazon’s basement.”

Pantry, it’s a pantry, you jackass, and I know your enhanced brain remembers that. Besides, I can order us an entire crate of granola bars, they’ll be here in two hours.”

“We already have three crates of granola bars! Clint refuses to stop living on our couch! Move away from your laptop and come shopping!”

“There’s too many people. I’m traumatized. Wilson says so.”

“You’re lazy, Barnes. Don’t think I don’t know that you’re just waiting for me to leave so you and Barton can destroy our furniture because you’re juggling knives.”

Discount knives. And don’t worry, I ordered us a new sofa, it should be here tomorrow by 8pm.”

so the other night I had a dream that some friends and my sister and I were all on a backpacking trip to hell. I have no idea why, I just know that we felt we had the weight of the world on our shoulders to complete this mission. I don’t even know what the mission was, but dammit we were going.

we were also keeping a cat in a cardboard box with us on this journey. This has nothing to do with the context of the dream, but I felt it was important for the mood.

so basically we’re all hiking down into the depths of the earth, (I think we got chased by some sort of massive beast that ate one of my friends, but frankly it wasn’t important enough to remember) and basically we finally get to the Foyer of Hell. And this place is essentially a food court filled with demons.

think the Mall of America on a Saturday afternoon but all the lights have a weird red tinge.

and we see a McDonald’s.

immediately I’m like “guys, listen. I really need to know if Hell McDonalds tastes the same as Minnesota McDonald’s.” So I bought a double cheeseburger meal and an egg mcmuffin meal and just fucking went to town at these shitty school-lunchroom style tables. We had the Cat Box on the table and were getting a lot of weird looks from the hellspawn around us

the verdict was that the egg mcmuffin was mediocre at best, the fries were all those really dry crunchy ones, the cheeseburgers were exactly the same, but the hashbrowns were fucking incredible. Never will I taste anything so ironically heavenly again in my entire life. Like. Fuck dude. The hashbrowns.

after that we went on our way to slay the demon king or whatever the fuck, I genuinely don’t remember.

Anyway the moral of the story kids is that if you’re in hell and you see a McDonald’s, order them out of hashbrowns you won’t fuckin regret it

Punk Edits - Phan
  • Phil: Dannn, can you come and film with me pleaseee
  • Dan: Busy
  • Phil: no you're not
  • Dan: And you know that, how?
  • Phil: well I don't, but please
  • Dan: fine...What are we filming?
  • Phil: Uh well, um.......Punk edits.
  • Dan: Are you shitting my leg
  • Phil: no
  • Dan: PHIL
  • Phil: oh come on, i ordered loads of stuff off ebay
  • Dan: like?
  • Phil: tattoo sleeves, hair spray, metal things for my ears since you don't need to worry about that you cheater..
  • Dan: true
  • Phil: OH, and fake piercings!
  • Dan: right.....So is it going to be like some Punk edits IRL?
  • Phil: exactly, other youtubers did it
  • Dan: of course they did...ANYWAY alright
  • Phil: Yay!
  • Dan: Just remember I'm doing this because i love you...
  • Phil: awh
  • Dan: Unfortunately
  • Phil: DAN
  • Dan: I'm joking! I'm joking! come on-
  • Phil: ...
  • Dan: Come on, babe.

hi hehe can you write an angst scenario whereby youre in a relationship with bobby but you found out that he used you to make good lyrics based on your experience with him and you felt sad and had a huge arguement with him ? thank youuuuuu ! ^-^

You take a seat not so far from the shop’s entrance. Your boyfriend planned a short date with you at the coffee shop where you two first met. It was just a simple ‘hello’ that led to a hundreds of happy but sometimes sad days. You smile with excitement at your cup of hot chocolate, waiting for your boyfriend that was late, just like usually.

“Isn’t that Bobby’s girlfriend?” You hear a whisper coming from a few tables away.

You glance around the room, searching for the owner of the voice. There wasn’t a lot of people, probably eight or nine. Some were sitting alone while others were with their friends or their date.

“It is! It is! Ah, how can she look so nice yet be so mean to our Jiwonnie?” A girl mumbled as she glared at you.

Some fans always tell a bunch of nonsense, you didn’t know what they were talking about. Even if you tried to ignore it, your ears would only listen to their conversation.

“She’s so lucky to be with him… I’m so jealous, let’s be honest, I would never yell at him, he’s too cute for that.”

“Right? She’s such a rude wench, why aren’t they breaking up yet? Unless they’re already over? Is that why she’s here? She’s probably meeting another dude, she’s so disrespectful. I wonder if she really slapped him, she was probably on drugs or she’s always crazy." 

Holding yourself together, you remain calm, trying to not interrupt their discussion that you shouldn’t be eavesdropping. Keeping your eyes on the smoke that would come out of the cup, you felt your body shake, your eyes watering themselves with your incoming tears.

You never actually got insulted that way. Talking on your back and hearing it wasn’t a way to know how people hated you, you preferred reading his fans talk shit on you on the Internet more than hearing them in real life since you can’t log out. You wanted to leave the café but either way, their voices would still run through your mind.

"Eh? Is my girlfriend crying?” You hear your boyfriend asks.

You look up. “Oh! When did you get here?" 

"A few seconds ago. Why are you crying?”

 You let out a faint giggle. “It’s nothing, just the smoke of my hot chocolate made me cry.”

You didn’t get a date properly, not with the amount of people gathering around you two as some of them sent him sweet smiles while they gave you death glares. You wanted to rush home and cry in your room but then again, you wanted to throw yourself in his arms but you knew that some people in the audience would get angry at you. 

You finally got back to your dorm that you shared with a friend. After all, you were still in college, not like you could afford an apartment or anything for you two to live together. He walked in the dorm with you, taking his boots off before walking around. 

“Why are you feeling so down today?” Your boyfriend wonders, walking towards you to give you a hug. 

“Can you explain to me what you tell the media about us?” You felt your tears coming back.

“I’ve barely been in any interviews lately, I’m not part of any show either. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

You didn’t feel like talking about anything anymore with him. He would probably lie to you about it or he said something about your relationship. Opening your laptop and going on the Internet, you look up his name and yours, trying to find out what those girls were talking about earlier.

[Song Analysis]
omg guys I listened to Bobby’s song and idk if it’s just me but is he referring to his relationship with ________? lemme tell you why

the way you scream as your tears roll down
the pain i caused you when i wasn’t around
those hurtful words i knew i couldn’t erase
i’m telling you you’re the only one that exists

express yourself in a different way
i can’t listen to you all day

the sound of the slap that landed on my face
that day i just wanted to hold you in my embrace
but it felt like it wasn’t the right place

you make my heart beat faster
it feels like you’re my master
i can’t refuse what you say
because if i do you won’t stay

is she like hitting him or smthing?? _________ is probably really rude bobby would never tell bad things about her like this! she can’t even be happy with what she has wth -.- i hate her so much

You remembered the day you slapped him. It was a big and hard day for you, you had three projects and an exam due for the next day and stress was running around you, you felt yourself get angry and tense up. It was the first time you weren’t grateful to see your boyfriend come to your dorm. 

You were sad when he wasn’t with you and that day, you were reading a story about relationships and you started to deepen yourself in it, thinking he was cheating on you and whatnot. It was stupid argument after all, yet he made a song about it and now everyone sees you a different way.

“________…”

You silently cried as you tried to wipe your tears away, not wanting him to see you in that state. You hurried up and pulled out a bunch of tissues before being able to face him. When you turned around to look at him, he stared at you confusedly.

“Why are you crying?" 

"It’s nothing…” You lied as your lips shaked at your smile.

He moves his eyes to your screen, reading the words that were shown on it. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” You begin, trying to stay calm.

“_________─”

“I apologized after, I know it took me two days to apologize, but I did it. You still wrote a song about it? I know apologizing isn’t enough but…. doing this? To humiliate me? To make me feel guilty? What did you try to make me feel? What kind of revenge did you want?" 

"No, __________, this isn’t it, my point is─”

“To make me feel weak? You want to be my master? Fine, do it. Order me around. Slap me in the face if you want to. I don’t remember when I was being so strict towards you to tell you to do things like I was your master but go on, use me. Use me like you did with your lyrics, use me like I used you.”

“Oh my god, __________, let me speak!” He shouts, making you tremble as tears ran faster.“I’m sorry, okay? For making a song based on how we live our life together like this. I know saying 'sorry’ isn’t enough but… It was two months ago, can’t we forget about this?”

“Are you crazy? Forget about this? When the whole world thinks that I treat you like a slave everyday, seeing me as a bad image, as a bad person, you think I can forget about this? If everyone forgets about this then I can too. But everyone knows and remembers this, no matter what.”

“What can I do to make it up to you?” He sighs, frustrated.

“What you can do? I’ll tell you what you can do. Break up. Let’s break up. Let’s cut ties, let’s end everything here." 

He wasn’t just angry but sadness was added to his current feelings. He never wanted to hear you say anything like that to him and you did, he knew it was a huge mistake.

"Do you still love me?” He asks with a shaky voice.

“A relationship needs to have two person that loves each other. I should be the one asking you that question."