Ugh last summer I was diagnosed with BPD and in around September I got "miraculously better" (I started dating my fp and she started kinda understand my bpd) but now the signs have idk the word but like getting worse again? and I don't like this at all. Like I was so good and stable for like eight months and now suddenly I'm horrible to everyone especially my gf and I don't know what to do. Last summer was so horrible and I don't want to experience it again. :( Any advice?
absolutely understand. whenever i’m in the “fp honeymoon” stage i feel suddenly and inexplicably cured. bpd who? but then eventually the honeymoon phase wears off and unfortunately the symptoms return.
first thing i’ll say: Coping Skills Coping Skills Coping Skills. if you send me another ask with any specific symptoms that have gotten worse i can help in a way more tailored to you, but here’s the way i manage things:
+keep yourself busy as much as physically possible. one of the absolute worst things for people with bpd is to have an idle mind. find something you enjoy doing, a new hobby, or just go for walks and check out the scenery. netflix. bake. anything.
+keep yourself around people when possible. it tends to feel worse when you’re alone and left to your thoughts. and the fear of abandonment feels worse without anyone around.
+i have a chart of what to do if you’re splitting on your fp if that’s a major problem for you, and i can reblog it so it’s at the forefront of my blog for you. if you split a lot, i’d say to always if you’re even slightly in a poor mindset, take ten seconds before you send anything. when i’m splitting or even just upset in general, i send things impulsively without thinking how the other person will react, and immediately regret it but can’t take it back.
+on the same note, if you’re splitting, or if you’re getting anxious because you don’t have any texts, put your phone down. there are
apps (i can post some examples if you’d like), that earn you points if you don’t use your phone. in one app, the longer you go without using it and the more points you rack up, you can donate money to charity based on it. so not only are you not focusing on your phone, but you’re doing something good for others.
+mindfulness is HUGE when it comes to managing bpd. mindfulness and fact checking. when you’re feeling particularly anxious or disconnected or your mind just keeps racing, use the 5 senses technique. focus on your surroundings. list 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste. you can mix up the order, but that’s how i do it.
+additionally with mindfulness, a major part is not to judge your thoughts. be present, stay in the moment. if you’re upset because you feel like you’re getting worse and you start spiraling because you’re afraid of the way you used to be, take a breath. picture the thought like it’s going across one of those moving billboard things where the words scroll past you. or imagine they’re bubbles and you can let the thoughts come, and then breathe them out and let them float away.
+now on the fact checking note: whether you’re anxious or splitting or depressed or anything else, always check the facts. bpd tends to make us distort the severity of things, and what potential outcomes they may have. if you’re thinking “everyone hates me and my girlfriend doesn’t love me,” think logically. put absolutely no emotion into it, just fact. “my friends have said they enjoy talking to me.” “my girlfriend said she loves me.” “my friends laughed at my joke.” just little things that prove contrary to what you’re feeling.
i have a lot more if you need darling, i’ve been in dbt for over a year now and have plenty of coping skills. if you need more, let me know, but i already think this is longer than you wanted. overall though, remember: bpd is a struggle, and you can still power through it.