and i was just ''i think i'd stick with a headache''

anonymous asked:

Yoooo you said you had another scene in mind for that Jake au? cause I'd definitely love to hear about it

anon: 10/10 want that aforementioned other scene

Yeah alright alright lmao

part 1 | part 2

Mary’s wrist is burning in Andrew’s iron grip, her pulse thrashing against his palm. Mary is her real name; that was a truth Andrew bartered for, along with a real name for Jake - Neil. It’s not his birth name, apparently, but rather a nickname. That’s good enough for Andrew, a truth he hadn’t been expecting, but one that Neil gave him anyway.

Neil has his hand hovering over Andrew’s shoulder, not touching because he didn’t ask. Andrew can feel the burn of Neil’s touch anyway. At least he’s still standing behind Andrew, where Andrew knows he’s safe and can more or less ignore him. Less, usually. Ignoring Neil is as impossible as ignoring a broken leg.

“You’re lucky you’re not dead,” Andrew tells Mary, quiet and flat, all of his fury boiling in his gut and none of it showing on his face. 

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just-french-me-up  asked:

IDK if reblogging that post was an invitation to send you some prompts, but I'd love ❛ what’s the point in having powers/magic, if you don’t take advantage? ❜ :3

Everything is an invitation for you to send me things, love

Jehan spent their free time in parks and graveyards, the only two green spaces where things were permitted to grow and strangers permitted to wander. Graveyards in particular held their fascination, the older, the better. They often spent late afternoons wandering between crumbling headstones without their shoes, seeking stories and leaving flowers in their footsteps. Whether the voices they could hear sometimes were the plants or the dead beneath their feet, they never quite figured out.

“Are you the necromancer, then?”

The voice startled Jehan so much, they jumped. No one usually pestered them out here; most strangers assumed they were grieving a loved one while they traced the letters on crumbling headstones or brought the green back to a newly dug plot. Never had someone spoken to them; never had anyone even tried.

They scrambled to get their back away from whoever this stranger was, perched up on a headstone just one row away, and immediately noticed he only let them catch bits of details at a time. Dark curls and high cheekbones. New-looking suit jacket, worn unbuttoned. Shiny dress shoes. One deep brown, beautiful eye. It was strange. Enough to make them curious but, if anything, it made them more defensive. No one hid that much unless they were dangerous.

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anonymous asked:

Seeing the ask you retweeted about how S&M brothers feel about their s/o smoking really got me thinking. Your blog is literally amazing so I'd love to hear your response to this since I think they'd all react somewhat differently . So what would the S&M brothers do if their s/o smokes? Would they help them quit and how? Thankies :)

First of all- THANK YOU VERY MUCH YOU’RE SO SWEET. Second, if anyone who reads this happens to smoke, this isn’t to be mean to you. I just feel this is how they’d actually feel about it.

  • Ayato:Gross, you know that makes your blood taste bitter..right?” He would force you quit cold turkey and not care about the side effects because it’s your fault you got yourself into this to begin with.
  • Reiji: Absolutely not. No s/o of his will be sucking on a cancer stick! He would make you quit the minute you stepped foot in the mansion, and he would be very strict about not letting you smoke.
  • Laito: He thinks it’s sort of sexy at first, but then he taste your blood and changes his mind and ask you to quit. He tells you things like, “We can find something better to do than that, right?” He tries to turn your smoking habit into a sex habit.
  • Kanato: “Dolls don’t smoke unless they’re on fire.” He threatened, he was dead serious about it too, he might actually set you on fire if you don’t stop. He winds up stealing your cigs and lighters to try and make you quit.
  • Subaru: “Your blood taste disgusting when you do that.” He would scold you, trying to guilt you into stopping. He would avoid kissing you, cuddling you, even hugging you until you quit.
  • Shu: Shu wouldn’t even bother with you honestly, you would be too much of a task to try and get you to stop smoking. He would just push you onto another brother and continue his normal life as if you didn’t exist.
  • Ruki: “Livestock, I’ll start putting them out on your arms if you don’t quit that.” He means it too, he might actually turn to abuse for this. (sorry but the vamps are mean bro-)
  • Kou: “Nobody is going to like it if you smoke! My followers think it’s weird that you do it and I don’t, plus your blood gives me a headache after I drink it..” He was angry that you wouldn’t quit, He doesn’t drop it though.
  • Yuma: Nope. You can’t even try it, not outside either because you might drop some ash in his garden and then you’re dead. He doesn’t play around with it, he finds it stupid and annoying.
  • Azusa: He tries to gently bring it up, telling you that you aren’t very nice smelling anymore and your teeth are getting yellow and it worries him. (gross reader ya better take care of yourself)

anonymous asked:

I saw that you were taking prompts and I'd like to request a kanadia au where kanans in a soccer team and dia's being a useless lesbian <3

Sorry for the wait! I hope you enjoy this ;u;!

@ Mari when will u stop teasing these poor gays?

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gallagher girls headcanons because why not (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧

edward actually hates early grey tea but he has a refined british aesthetic to uphold so he deals with the bitterness and absorbs it into his bitter soul and abby thinks it’s hilarious

abby meanwhile has the most complicated, white girl™ starbucks order that takes longer to say than it does to make. she lives for seasonal drinks, and is first in line the day they start making pumpkin spice lattes again

zachary goode had an emo phase, fight me on this. he definitely listened to my chemical romance and pierce the veil and panic! at the disco and said things like, “no one understands me” and slammed the door and who am i kidding zachary goode is still in his emo phase. 

liz got her pixie cut after coming out as part of a transformation of sorts to be more comfortable with herself and bex loves it and compliments her on it like, “looking good, lizzie” and liz blushes like a dork

bex and grant are the KINGS of beer pong. watch out when they decide to go against each other, it’s the sporting event of the season. like, “the only thing i’ll be waving is your decapitated head on a stick in front of your weeping mother!” “good lord, bex.”

bex is also a memelord bye

joe puts up this whole mysterious, tough guy front but he is the biggest nerd of them all. like, all that boy wants to do is fish. he never wanted to lose his best friend and join a terrorist group and get put in a coma. he just wanted to live in his cabin and play board games and watch star wars or something and FISH leave the boy alone

“morgan townsend…you were named after my sister’s husband. your cousin, cammie, was named after me and her own mother i know it’s complicated okay don’t think about it too much”

her entire first year at gallagher, macey slept with a stuffed animal that she hid under her bed at night. she thought no one knew about it, but the other girls did and washed it and never made fun of it because macey is all gooey on the inside though she doesn’t act like it. she tries to act like buttercup but she’s such a fucking bubbles omg

cammie makes the dumbest jokes of all like…dad joke level jokes. she 10/10 got it from matthew like. “god, i’m exhausted, this mission is killing me.” “hi exhausted, i’m cammie!” “cammie for the love of GOD why do you keep doing this”

catherine wears big thick glasses when she reads that make her look like a hipster which she hates but she really can’t see, okay? she just wants to read her mystery novels without getting headaches. when she forgets to put her contacts in, she literally is tripping over her own two feet. ((she also unironically likes EDM and probably says things like “sounds fake but okay” because she knows what the cool kids are in to, okay? She’s not a regular mom, she’s a cool mom.))

if gallagher girls were at ilvermorny, abby and bex would be in thunderbird, zach, macey, and catherine would be in wampus, rachel, liz, and townsend would be in horned serpent, and cammie, matthew, and joe would be in pukwudgie 

Selina didn’t care for parties. Too many people. She cared even less for Gotham. She’d have just as gladly never come back.

Yet here she was, at a party in Gotham.

Bruce Wayne kept nothing she wanted, nothing that wasn’t his. And the cats liked him. They were good judges of character. Some part of her was glad.

She’d left the ballroom when she’d decided it wouldn’t get better. She may have been a little overwhelmed. Too many people, too tempting to claw some of their faces off. Unpleasant smiles, looking at her like a potential pet. She was as wealthy as they were, but one wouldn’t know it from the way they looked at her.

Wayne Manor had cats like some places had mice. They lived in the woods along the mountain, some descended from generations of ferals and others abandoned by idiots. Out in the garden and under the moonlight, they wound themselves around her legs and stretched out in the grass.

That one is coming, they said, but they were neither threatened nor excited. She turned her head. Bruce Wayne, remaining at a distance in the dark. He was the first to break the silence.

“That’s a lot of cats.”

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imjusthereforthefanporn  asked:

I'd love to hear your and your followers' thoughts on my "The 'Modern Girl in Thedas' Workout" post.

I think your Workout post is a clever idea to help authors (or even readers) get a real sense for what becoming the Inquisitor would really mean for their character (and/or themselves). It’s easy to simply up the character’s physical prowess, but there is something endlessly fascinating about watching them struggle, and sometimes, even fail.

Although adrenaline usually plays a key role in giving a character the boost they need to endure physical obstacles (ex: a horde of demons chasing you in the Fade), it can only get you so far…

Anyway, back to the workout…

I think Days 1-5 seem like a pretty solid base to work from.

Day 6+ is where it gets interesting…

3. Should probably work up to being able to do at least 20 body-weight squats a day to simulate contending with the inevitable bouts of giardia, dysentery, food poisoning, etc. as your digestive and immune systems adjust to the reality of period-appropriate sanitation and food safety practices

The food! Yes! The characters are quick to complain about taste, but there’s a lack of narrative regarding what the shift from processed foods to Thedas cuisine would do to a person’s body. Caffeine headaches, general withdrawal… Exploring these could not only make an author’s character seem more realistic, but offer another avenue for interaction with people of Thedas.

4. What muscles are used for horseback riding? I’d guess that the hip abductor/adductor machine could provide a similar workout absent an actual horse to ride, but I haven’t been riding since I was 10 so I defer to anyone with more recent experience

I haven’t ridden a horse in over a decade, but I do remember the soreness from having your legs positioned that way for an extended period of time. Another note: nudging the horse with your heels signals it to go faster. If your ride becomes bumpy enough to set your legs to bouncing against its side…you might find yourself going much faster than you anticipated.

5. What muscles are used for various weapons and fighting styles and what are some activities that could simulate those activities? I know that swinging a boffer sword once gave me a terrible case of tennis elbow…

One word. Calluses. Daggers, bows, swords–even staffs–are going to give the character calluses. Be prepared for aching hands.

I am…not the best person to ask about simulating dual-wielding because I like to practice flipping knives and that’s REALLY NOT SAFE, DON’T DO IT, but perhaps finding some kind of dull stick would help. Throwing darts would help with accuracy and dexterity.

For simulating the rogue footwork, I’d recommend some form of ballroom dancing or yoga. The tango, waltz, and foxtrot involve a fair degree of distinct footwork that should improve your dexterity of step. Yoga would improve your flexibility and give your movements more of the fluidity often necessary for the rogue class.

The rogue footwork could also apply to the mage class. Finding a large stick to practice twirling and jabbing (try shooting pool?) would help with the simulation of spell casting. Meditation might be a good idea to simulate their connection to the Fade.

Anyway, these were just some of my muddled thoughts (my head is cloudy af). Hope they made sense!

Everyone else: Feel free to chime in with what I imagine will be clearer and less tangential thoughts than mine… 

No Refunds, No Returns

AN: A silly, fluffy fic about our boys being auctioned off for charity. I guess I’m just in one of those cracky Sherlolly moods lately. :) Unbetaed and riddled with grammar and continuity errors, I’m sure. My fault for being too impatient to wait to post. Anyway… Enjoy!

‘You sure you want to go through with this? Any second thoughts?’

Sherlock grimaced as John roughly adjusted his tie, a cheeky grin on the doctor’s face. ‘For the last time, yes. But I am beginning to second guess using this particular, ridiculous situation for my purposes.’

‘Just shut up and don’t say anything for the next twenty minutes. Everything will be perfect.’

Sherlock looked at his black tuxedo with a disgruntled frown. ‘Good God, who ever thought of this idea should be drawn and quartered!’ 

John rolled his eyes and fixed his bowtie, admiring himself in the mirror. ‘I think it’s kind of fun. And it’s for a good cause.’ He looked at Sherlock and gave him a cheeky wink.

Sherlock begrudgingly agreed as he ruffled his slicked back hair, bringing the curls forward in frizzy disarray that only served to make him look slightly debauched. 

‘Stop doing that!’ John grabbed the comb from the table and tried to fix Sherlock’s hair, but the detective bobbed and weaved out of the way. John chased him around the room, much to the amusement of the other tuxedo-clad gentlemen.

Suddenly, the door opened and a sleazy-looking man strode in. ‘Alright, boys. It’s showtime!’


Seven men had already gone and it was down to John and Sherlock. The detective lolled in his seat, bored. John straightened his waistcoat one last time, just as the emcee began his introduction.

‘Any of you beautiful ladies feeling a bit dizzy? Well, hold on to something, we’ve got ourselves a doctor to take care of you!’

John couldn’t help the flush that rose up the back of his neck and filled his face. The emcee milked the gasps and oohs, hamming it up right before the introduction.

‘The famous Doctor John Watson!’ 

John stepped out onto the makeshift stage to thunderous applause and immediately found himself the prey of many a hungry eye. Searching the room, he caught Mary’s gaze. She was giggling behind her champagne glass at his discomfort and he narrowed his eyes accusingly at her.

Beside her, Molly Hooper was graciously holding back her laughter. 

The emcee’s ridiculous pitch was almost instantly interrupted when an older woman in the front raised her paddle and bellowed, ‘200 pounds!’

‘Wow, thank you ma’am!’ The emcee recovered quickly. ‘But surely a date with the famous blogger warrants more than 200 pounds for the Children’s wing. Do I hear 300?’

‘Oh yes!’ A curvaceous woman from the back called out, raising her paddle and waggling her fingers. She batted her eyes at John and gave him a salacious wink. 

John swallowed nervously and looked to Mary for help, who had abandoned all attempts to hide her mirth and was leaning on Molly, both of them laughing uproariously.

The bidding rapidly rose and, to John’s great relief, an older woman in the front row won him for 800 pounds. She smiled sweetly at him and he hopped down from the stage. 

‘You looked mighty frightened there, my dear,’ she said as she shook his hand.

John chuckled. ‘Some of those women looked ready to devour me whole. I thank you for saving me, Mrs Holmes.’

Winking cheekily at him, she patted his cheek. ‘Anytime, love.’

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Karl Pilkington Starters
  • It's like a pylon.
  • Get that down, its a deathtrap!
  • You've never been to China.
  • ...but it’s all about ‘a gorilla and a fox are walking thru the woods.’ How often does that happen?
  • That's the problem with them fables, they're putting animals together that wouldn't meet. I don't know where a scorpion is knockin' around with a frog.
  • Well...like, when you're born, you're a little baby, you're wrinkly and stuff, when you get older you sort of morph into a baby again...
  • By 78 you've done everything you're going to do. If you haven't bungee-jumped by the time you're 78 you're not going to do it.
  • All I'm saying is that old people need to be old people.
  • You need oldness. You need to see old people.
  • Well you look 78!
  • Stop looking at the walls, look out the window.
  • If I was Noah, I would have gone, Hang on a minute, I've just seen somethin' that looks a bit like this, let it drown, have a bit of a clear out, but he was messin' about savin' everythin'
  • Why didn't evolution make a giraffe good at carpentry so it could build a ladder?
  • You know how they say people have six senses? There's loads more than that. The ability to feel someone looking at you, that's been around since man and dinosaur were knockin' about.
  • We came from the sea originally, now we're going back in it. Don't go in it, unless you're in a boat.
  • On identical twins - You always get a little snidey one.
  • On dopplegangers - How would I know which one I was?
  • It would only get me into trouble won't it? Because people won't believe there's another one like me.
  • Otherwise everyone would be saying that when they get caught robbing, they go Oh it wasn't me it was me doppleganger.
  • Does the brain control you or are you controlling the brain? I don't know if I'm in charge of mine.
  • Did I tell you about the immune system?
  • He got hot, he got so hot his lips fell off.
  • I came up with a good idea....see through skin
  • I find that if you just talk, your mouth comes up with stuff.
  • If you don't sleep you get run down. Sloths never get a flu, cos its good innit thats when your body's replenishing
  • As long as you're rememberin' baby Jesus, does it matter when you're rememberin' 'im
  • That's what I'm saying about Christmas, I might not be in the mood for it
  • The first time you watch it you'll probably cry a bit. The second time you watch it you will probably think - boy that would be bad having a head like that being picked on - the third time you are probably thinking, er, how does he get his jumper on, er, then dunno probably bored of it the fourth time. But, but it's well worth watching.
  • The Elephant Man would never have gotten up and gone, ‘Oh, God. Look at me hair today.’
  • Treat the world like a head
  • We're just a weed in the universe
  • I could eat a knob at night.
  • Hummus isn't a meal
  • Hypothetical: Shipwrecked and eating a penis- ...I'll look for something else. We're surrounded by water. Why are we eating knob?
  • Where you are is what you eat. When I'm in London I'll have beans on toast for lunch. On holiday — what? Tapas? Go on then I'll have a bit. You eat whatevers in that area.
  • Whether it's a potato or a nut, it's a foodage!
  • Read about a pub which is gettin' some stick 'cause its stopped a horse goin' in. Its been the horse' regular for ages, but some new owners have taken over the pub and they said they're servin' fresh food and don't want a horse in there anymore
  • I look at life like a big book and sometimes you get half way through it and go 'Even though I've been enjoying it, I've had enough. Give us another book'
  • I'm just sayin', I don't like fun
  • They say it all started out with a big bang. But, what I wonder is, was it a big bang or did it just seem big because there wasn't anything else drown it out at the time?
  • I dont know her, there's only so much you can say to a stranger.
  • I think some bacteria have better lives
  • What's that plate that's above a saucer but below a plate?
  • Yeah but everyone was a saint years ago, that seemed to be thrown about back then. Who's a saint now, in this year, who's a saint?
  • It’s just hassle of having friends and family
  • The world is getting more and more scruffier
  • You won't get anything done by planning.
  • Any problem solved is a new problem made.
  • I've met a few little people in my time.
  • I met a little fella once and he was alright.
  • Turns out it was another load of monkeys from another part of the island...from the rough bit...
  • Apparently you're not allowed to lick a toad's back.
  • So I was watchin David Attenborough..
  • At what point is a wasp ever going to have a chat with a spider?
  • At no point am I going to lick a little frogs head.
  • I'd kick it, and I'd say 'You knob-head'
  • In the sea you've got to be constantly sort of alert.
  • In the sea you've got an enemy behind every rock.
  • Get rid of some of the fish and the water will drop. Simple. Basic science.
  • People moan about drugs being tested on animals. I sort of think it depends innit. If the drug's aspirin and the monkey's got a headache, is it right?
  • A dog has got human eyes.
  • I saw a cockroach playing Pacman
  • I've been watchin birds more than insects recently, and the thing I've found with pigeons is, they've got wings but they walk a lot
  • Don't be chucking that out. You might need that later
  • If you live in a glass house, don't be chucking stuff about
  • People who live in a glass house have to answer the door
  • You don't have to do it straight away, but just do it before it gets really bad
  • Neil Armstrong, that spaceman, he went to the moon but he ain't been back. It can't have been that good.