and i was drizzle

Part 22 - He

He was the first man who bought me flowers.

He was the first man who celebrate my birthday with me.

He was the first man who look at me while I fall asleep.

He got off from the car when Its drizzling outside just to get me a rose from the florist on our first valentine’s day.

He visited me in the hospital late night, in one of my darkest hour of my life.

He never check his phone when he talks to me, even when he does he would said sorry and give him a minute.

He called every night just to check if I’m okay and how’s my day.

He wouldn’t mind me talking for hours while all he does was just listen.

He would always say the cakes and cookies I bake was nice, showering me in compliments no matter how I baked it.

He encourages me to do more in life.

He take pictures of me by the beach.

He hold my hand while he drives, look at me and smiled when the lights turned red.

He rubs my back until I fall asleep soundly else he wouldn’t stop.

He wouldn’t let me do the same to him because he knows I’m tired.

He would ask how’s my parents doing recently.

He would buy stuffs for them and pretends its me who bought it for them.

He would asked what did my mum cooked for dinner tonight

He would asked if I slept well last night

He would asked if I had any dreams last night

He would listen to me and praises my photographic memory that i could recall literally everything that i sees.

He would impress me by taking me to dine-in at fancy restaurants

He would buy food not just for me but the people around me

He would send me food during lunch break, making all my colleagues jealous of me.

He bought 60 nuggets for my colleagues the next day I told him my colleagues was envy of me

He would listen to my rants in work or study and laughed at it.

He would take me to places I’ve never been to.

He would force me to put on sunblock when we head to the beach and I would recklessly disobey him

He would spend his weekends with me

He would hug me tightly, with his hands running across my hair, as he smells it and says “I miss you” 

He wouldn’t mind just watching Law & Order with me before sleep

He pre-ordered Adele’s 25 album the day it released, because he knows how much I love Adele.

He takes the time and understand the genres of music I listen to.

He always get excited to spend time with me over the weekend after I say yes we could go to the hotel to spend the night.

He would hug me from behind and smell me while he slowly fall asleep

He will wake me up in the middle of the night to make love

He would hit my each and every spot so right like nobody else could replicate.

He will always try his best to satisfy me on bed

He never gets tired of kissing me.

He loves me.


you never really knew how to cherish it. Until its a lost cause.

when you bid farewell at the crossroad, don’t look back. Because he might not look back like you did, and all you could was just looking at him, leaving. 

Just like a balloon. once you let go,  it floats away. 

What’s left of us was just memories. Memories that lingers around. Two years back, in a sea full of people, I found you. But today, I’m on my own again somehow, it seems like I went back to where it was.

When I looked back, 

I didn’t have the courage to call your name

I didn’t know how to initiate a conversation.

All I could do is stand there at the back, watching you paddling off shores and these waves of emotion hits me so hard. The images of us, breaks me into pieces. 

Last night I was driving around town, thinking deep in my thoughts.

I called your phone. 


He : Hello? Hello?


I didn’t utter a word nor dare to breath through the phone, all I heard was that familiar voice of yours,deep inside I was screaming, I was hoping you would call out my name.

He hanged up the phone.

All I could do is just stare at the lake and laughed at myself. Why?

I wish one day, I can get the chance to see the same piece of balloon, even if its not in my hands anymore, I would look at you with my red watery eyes and smile at you.

I love you.

I love you the most.

I wanted so badly to lie down next to her on the couch, to wrap my arms around her and sleep. Not fu#k, like in those movies. Not even have sex. Just sleep together in the most innocent sense of the phrase. But I lacked the courage and she had a boyfriend and I was gawky and she was gorgeous and I was hopelessly boring and she was endlessly fascinating. So I walked back to my room and collapsed on the bottom bunk, thinking that if people were rain, I was drizzle and she was hurricane.
—  John Green
simple study snacks
  • a steaming mug of coffee ☕ (i drink mine with almond milk instead of regular milk)
  • green tea!!! (i currently have a box of traders joe’s morrocan mint green tea in my pantry; it’s great with lemon and honey)
  • apples with peanut butter
  • a banana
  • easy-peel oranges
  • oatmeal (i make mine with raisins, a handful of mixed nuts, cinnamon, honey, and almond milk)
  • banana milkshake (almond milk and banana blended together for me)
  • a bowl of nature’s path cereal (with almond milk ofc, plus some raisins and nuts, and some fruit slices on top)
  • chips (black bean for me) and guac/salsa
  • a bowl of blueberries (they’re great antioxidants too)
  • healthy pancakes (almond milk, honey, sugar, cinnammon, baking powder, salt, vegetable oil, flour + i drizzle some honey on top in place of maple syrup)
  • ready-made samosas (for u fellow brown ppl lmao)
  • burritos (avocados, rice, black beans)
  • avocado toast (with some seasoning on top)
  • popcorn
  • chocolate milk (with nutella or hershey’s chocolate syrup)
  • grapes

It’s nothing much but here’s my updated version on how I draw the children
(I’ve literally had no inspiration for PJO in like a month so)

He reminds me of a cold breeze during summer nights. When I refused to fall asleep until midnight. He reminds me of a strange note I’ve found above my table when I came to work, saying good morning and wishing me a nice day. He reminds me of sunsets with some drizzles. He’s the one— who I thought of each and every time I see something beautiful. Something wonderful that it makes my heart aches for more. He is someone I haven’t seen for a very long time. But he will always be a book in my series. A star in my constellation. He was one of the best things that has ever happened to me. And even if we hadn’t ended up in each other’s arms, he will always have the character that can make my heart feel warm.
—  ma.c.a // Sometimes in Forever
Ramen hacks 101

Hey does anyone else have a lot of trouble getting out of bed and feeding themselves sometimes? Yeah me too. BUT I’ve basically gotten the cheap, easy, fast ramen thing down to a T by this point and thought I’d share it with you guys. It can be made very easily for any type of diet, including gluten-free, vegan and vegetarian. 

Time: Will vary depending on your ingredients, but at minimum it’ll take about 5-10 minutes. 

For just a soup base+noodles, you will need:

  • A package of cheap-ass ramen noodles - throw away the seasoning packet or save it to use with something else. Buy in bulk if you don’t want to go to the store every time you want noodles. If you’re gluten-free, get rice noodles or another gluten-free option. 
  • Miso paste - I got mine for about $3, and it lasts for a very long time in the fridge. Pro tip: it’s cheaper at an Asian grocery store or market if you have access to one.
  • Stock cube/paste - around $2 at my local grocery store. I went for low-sodium chicken stock cubes, but you use your preferred type.
  • Water - about 2-3 cups for one portion depending on how big your bowl is. Remember, if you’re adding in extras, the liquid level will rise. I’ve made that mistake way too many times.

If you want extras, some good options to mix and match at your preference/budget/convenience are

Vegetables:

  • Bean sprouts - super cheap at the grocery store. Just throw a handful in and call it a day. I like mine to still be a little crunchy so I do it in the last 2 minutes of cooking.
  • Snow peas - ditto to the bean sprouts. Extras can be frozen.
  • Onion - I typically use half or a quarter of a white onion cut into thin slices, and tossed in the broth asap because I like it a bit more tender. Freeze the rest if you’re not going to be using it within the next few days.
  • Green onion/scallions - 1-2 will be good for one portion. Slice in thin disks, or on an angle if you’re fancy. Also you can use both the tops (green) and the bottoms (white), but that’s to your preference. I typically use these as a garnish, but you can add them in whenever you’d like.
  • Bok/pak choi - one of my favorite vegetables in the entire world. It can be found in most grocery stores nowadays, but is much cheaper at an Asian market if you have access to one. Cut off the very bottom part and then cut the pieces in half length-wise. Throw them in at the beginning if you like them softer, or in the last 3 minutes if you still want them a bit crunchy.
  • Spinach - just chuck in a handful whenever. Spinach can also be used frozen and is often cheaper to either buy it already frozen, or buy fresh in bulk and store it in your freezer to have forever. Get those vitamins!
  • Shredded carrot - you may not have the time/energy to shred carrots. Buy the pre-shredded kind and freeze whatever you have left over.
  • Corn - use frozen.
  • Mushrooms - slice thinly or buy pre-sliced. Add to broth toward the beginning.

Protein:

  • Tofu - silken tofu is usually the best option for this, but use whatever it is you have/can afford. Cut into small cubes and add whenever you’d like.
  • Soft-boiled egg - how to boil an egg or whatever your favorite method is.
  • Chicken - use leftover cooked chicken to add to your soup or slice a raw chicken breast thinly and poach it at a gentle simmer in the broth for 7-10 minutes or until it is white and opaque. It does take a little extra time, but you don’t actually have to do anything while it cooks and this will add extra flavor. Pre-marinated chicken is good for this as well (look for “Asian” flavors like soy, sesame, ginger, garlic, chili, etc.). Again, more expensive or time-consuming if you’re marinating it yourself, but it’s up to you. 
  • Shrimp - use pre-cooked frozen shrimp to save time and just dump in a handful. Buy the frozen stuff in bulk. Or, like with the chicken, poach raw shrimp in the broth until they are pink and opaque. 

Additional flavorings:

  • Garlic - either use a garlic crusher if you have it or just toss in thin slices into the pan with a little bit of veg or sesame oil for about 2 minutes, before you add your liquid. I buy pre-crushed frozen garlic that comes in little cubes and just pop them straight into whatever I’m cooking. There’s also that pre-crushed/chopped garlic in a paste or little jars. The pre-prepared stuff is more expensive than just buying bulbs of garlic BUT it will last you a while and saves a lot of time and energy.
  • Ginger - same as the garlic.
  • Chilis - chopped into thin disks. Take out the seeds and white part inside the chili if you don’t like it too spicy. Add as a garnish or into the broth if you like it a little spicier.
  • Hot sauce - use your favorite brand.
  • Chili oil - I got mine for about $1.50 and it’s a must-have for me in my soup. I drizzle a couple teaspoons on top when my soup is all done.
  • Soy sauce - light or dark soy is fine. Add as much or as little as you like.
  • Sesame oil - this is quite strong, so a little goes a long way. Use about a teaspoon.
  • Fish sauce, oyster sauce, rice wine/mirin/sake - these are great flavors but may be a bit harder to find and tend to be a little more expensive. Use about 1-2 teaspoons if you have it.
  • Cilantro - throw the stalks into your broth and strain them out afterward or just use the leaves as a garnish.
  • Lemon or lime - a squeeze to taste.
  • Sesame seeds - sprinkle on top.

Like I said, all the above ingredients are simply suggestions. It’s up to you to decide what you want, what you have the time and energy for, and what you can afford. This is just to show you the range of options.

Method:

  1. Prep whatever ingredients you’re using (slice/chop/take out of freezer). If you’re not using any, just go to step 2.
  2. Bring 2-3 cups of water to a boil. If you have an electric kettle, this will make the process much quicker.
  3. Add in your stock cube and miso paste and cook for about 2 minutes until they dissolve. You may want to stir a couple times just to help it along. 
  4. Add in whatever vegetables/protein/additional flavorings above suit your fancy and cook to your liking. 
  5. Add noodles and cook for 3 minutes. 
  6. Put food in bowl. Don’t worry about making it pretty. Garnish as you like.
  7. Put food in mouth. 

Done!

Put any leftover soup you may have into a tupperware or thermos and take it to work/school the next day. Or save it for 3-4 days in the fridge and heat it up when you’re hungry. 

Another pro tip: you can make the soup base in bulk and freeze whatever you don’t use. when you want soup but don’t want to go through the whole process again, stick the frozen soup in the microwave/melt in a pot on the stove, bring to a boil, add in your noodles/extras and you’re good to go.

Enjoy!

me: hi-

white boy who probably wants to be a poet: i wanted so badly to lie down next to her on the couch, to wrap my arms around her and sleep. Not fuck, like in those movies. Not even have sex. Just sleep together, in the most innocent sense of the phrase. But i lacked the courage and she had a boyfriend and i was gawky and she was gorgeous and i was hopelessly boring and she was endlessly fascinating. So i walked back to my room and collapsed on the bottom bunk. Thinking about if people were rain, i was drizzle and she was hurricane

me:

The Kissing Booth

A SnowBaz fanfiction


Simon

Once a year, usually in the spring, Watford stages a carnival for the students.  It’s usually quite humble, mainly consisting of booths selling small magic trinkets, or snacks like cotton candy, sweets and other classic carnival fare.  There’s always the tiny petting zoo over near the Cloisters, and some years Watford even scrapes enough together to bring in a carousel.  Most of the booths are run by student volunteers, and though everything is by donation, all proceeds go to whichever charity the student body has voted on.

           I go every year, mostly for the caramel apples and sweet cider, but this is the first year I’ve been behind the scenes of the carnival and helped at a booth.

           In truth, I didn’t even sign up for it, but Agatha hadn’t had a break all day and needed some cotton candy of her own.

           I should have told her to find Penny, or Trixie or even Minty.  Anyone but me.

           It doesn’t take long for the word to spread that Simon Snow has taken over the Kissing Booth, and mortifyingly the line has doubled in length.  Mostly first or second-year girls, blushing and stammering or swaggering up to the counter with a pronounced sway in their step, with the odd boy interspersed through the line.

           It’s not the worst thing that’s ever happened to me – that honour goes to the time in second year that Baz stumbled upon a spell that made my clothes slowly dissipate, garment by garment, in the middle of the dining hall – and after the first two or three quick, cold kisses I start to calm down, but I’m counting the minutes until Agatha comes back.  How she endured hours of this, I cannot comprehend.  That’s just Agatha, I guess.

           A redhead drops her donation into the tin and her eyes flit around, meeting me for only a split second at a time, her cheeks aflame.  I try to look as non-threatening as I can and lean forward enough that she can close the rest of the space.  She darts in with a kiss that’s no more than a peck before running over to a giggling pair of who must be her friends, a triumphant grin on her face. She must have been dared.  Poor girl.  I hope I wasn’t her first.

           “Well, well, well.”

           My stomach lurches at the cold drawl I know only too well.

           “What are you doing here, Baz?” I say in as civilized a tone as I can manage.

           He stands there with his arms crossed over his chest, his mouth in a twist that’s a bit too amused to be a sneer.  “When I heard that the Chosen One had taken over the Snogging Booth, I simply had to see it for myself.”

           “Well, now you’ve seen it, so now you can go.”

           “Saving the World of Mages one kiss at a time,” Baz murmurs with a chuckle.  “Not exactly what I was envisioning.”

           “I’m only covering for Agatha,” I retort, “she’ll be back in five minutes if you’re wanting her services.”

           He scoffs.  “I’d rather not snog your girlfriend, thank you very much.”

           “She’s not my – forget it,” I shake my head.  I’ve told him at least a dozen times, but it never stops him.

           “She must have been really desperate for a break to put you in charge,” Baz drawls on, his voice smooth like honey but with too much of a bite to be sweet.  “You’d think she’d at least pick someone attractive for the Kissing Booth.”

           It stings, but I don’t flinch.  “What, someone like you?” I spit back too fast.

           His eyebrows shoot up in delighted surprise as I realize my mistake.  “You flatter me, Snow,” he purrs, and I feel my cheeks heat up, but I furrow my brow tighter and hope it passes for anger.

           “Is there a reason you’re still here?” I growl as the burning spreads from my cheeks to my ears.  

           “As a matter of fact, there is,” Baz says, and his gray eyes look cool enough to staunch the flames at the tips of my ears, but the more I glare into them the more the fire rages.  “I’m here to torment you.”

           “Great, well you’ve done that.”

           “I wanted to see what you’d do.”  He leans on the edge of the counter, bringing his face far too close to mine for comfort. “What would the Mage’s Heir do if his nemesis showed up at the Kissing Booth?”

           “You can torment me any time,” I shoot back, “you’re holding up the line.”

           “Oh, yes, well,” he feigns conern, “I wouldn’t want to keep anyone from their kiss.”

           “Then go away.”

           His eyes narrow and he pretends to think.  “Mmm, no.  I don’t think so.”

           “Baz, I’m warning you.”

           “Terrifying,” he drones, “but this is too much fun.  Besides,” his eyebrow flickers up, “don’t you owe me a kiss?”

           I flash him a smirk of my own.  “Aw, Baz. If you were so desperate for a kiss, you could’ve just asked.”

           Baz, to his credit, doesn’t bat an eye.  “You think of that comeback yourself?”

           “There’s a fee, you know,” I ignore him, barely having to raise my voice above a murmur for him to hear me, he’s so close.  “You haven’t paid the fee, so I don’t owe you anything.”

           He doesn’t drop his eyes from mine, and the cool gray takes on the spark of a challenge.  Out of my periphery I see him reach into his pocket, and there’s the clatter of coins dropping into the tin.

           I should punch him.

           I should spit in his face.

           I wanted to see what you’d do.

           I take him by the lapels and crush his mouth under mine.

           He makes a muffled sound of shock.  To be fair, so do I, but mine is more angry than it is surprised.  I kiss him hard and rough, and it’s a bit of a juxtaposition because his mouth is oddly soft.  A face like his, you’d expect his lips to be made of marble, cold and unmoving, but he’s the farthest thing from unmoving.  I can’t tell if he’s struggling or if he’s kissing me back but his lips are so, so soft and I want to bruise them, mark them, bite them…

           I only stop when a series of wolf whistles reminds me that there are at least ten people watching us.

           Trying to salvage the illusion of control, I break away harshly, still gripping him by his collar.  The cocky smirk has dropped from his smooth features and now his face mirrors mine, a matching scowl, like I’ve crossed a dangerous line.  I probably have.

           “Was that what you wanted?” I growl.

           He doesn’t answer, just holds my gaze another few seconds before pushing back from the table, his lapels slipping out of my hands, and stalking away.

*** 

I don’t see Baz at the carnival after that, and I stay as long as the booths are open, perusing the same counters and feigning interest even after having looked through their contents three times.  I keep Penny company where she mans the popcorn booth, drizzling caramel over every few cartons, and I even get bored enough to hang around Agatha back at the Kissing Booth for a little while, until one too many patrons have asked if I’m available for service.  When she and Penny are freed we pet the goats at the petting zoo, the ones that Ebb has graciously volunteered for the event, and take a few spins on the carousel.  Only once the light has begun to fade and the signs are being lowered from their booths do the three of us part ways.  Even then, I offer to help Ebb get her goats back safely.

           Basically, I’m doing anything I can to put off going back to the room, but eventually I can’t avoid it any longer.  I’ve wandered the grounds enough times that the sun has properly disappeared behind the distant hills and I can barely see the ground in front of me. Even then I’m tempted to consider crazy alternatives like spending the night at Ebb’s place, but I’m pretty sure that would be against school rules anyway, and besides, I’ll have to face Baz eventually.  There’s no undoing what’s happened.

           When I finally trudge back into the room, he’s staring out the window at the moat, presumably trying to intimidate the merwolves, but he turns at the sound of the door.  His expression, though I don’t see it for long before I look away, is hard to read. Wide eyes and a furrowed brow, like he’s still mad at me for my stunt earlier, but there’s a bit of a questioning edge there, too.  Almost a where were you edge.

           Normally I have to start any type of conversation, but tonight he wastes no time. “What the hell was that, Snow?”

           There’s no question as to what he’s referring, and I can’t help but get angry again.  “Me? You’re the one who had to start something!”

           “Well, you didn’t have to react so drastically,” he mutters, crossing his arms and leaning against the wall by the window, the moonlight casting its glow on his skin and making him even paler than usual, almost transparent.  I half expect fangs to slide out from his lips for no reason and complete the picture.

           His soft, soft lips.

           “You were egging me on,” I seethe, the memory igniting the rage that I’d felt in the fractured moment before kissing him, “it’s your fault anything happened.”

           “Proud little hero,” Baz says with the slightest smirk, “can’t back down from a challenge.”

           “You know I can’t, not in front of people.”

           “Wouldn’t want them to think the Heir is a coward.”

           I feel like a balloon in me is swelling and deflating at once.  “But that’s just it, Baz,” I insist, anger momentarily aside.  “If they think I’m afraid, what reason do they have to hope?”

           He doesn’t answer right away, and for a second I think maybe he understands. I want so badly for him to understand.

           “No reason,” Baz eventually says, turning to look out the window again, “not with someone like you as the Chosen One.”

           I want to groan, to kick something, to shake him by the shoulders and make him look me in the eye and for once not fight me.  Have we ever in our lives made eye contact without there being some challenge between us?

           “Why did you have to get in that line?” I shake my head.  “There are so many other ways of tormenting me, lower-stakes ways.”

           “To be fair, I’ve already exhausted most of those,” Baz murmurs with a little shrug of his shoulders.

           “When have you ever been fair?”

           “Touché.”

           I’m tired of standing here at the door, so I kick off my shoes and sit down on my bed, trying not to think about how much closer I am to him now, still at the window, looking as vampiric as ever.  His gray eyes are positively silver in the moonlight, and the black of his hair looks silkier than ever, as if it’s soaking the rays directly into him. He almost glows.  I have to laugh a little, because more than once Baz has mockingly compared me, with my bronze curls and sky-blue eyes, to the sun, but he himself wears a halo of night.  If I am the sun, then Baz is most certainly the moon.  Distant, cold, mysterious, almost too pristine to touch.

           His gaze returns to me suddenly.  He raises an eyebrow in a wordless inquiry, and I realize I’ve been staring.

           “What exactly was it you expected me to do?”

           “At what point, Snow?” he gives a humourless laugh.  “You had more than one opportunity to react.”

           “When you paid the fee.”

           His tiny smile disappears.  “It doesn’t matter.”

           “It does.”

           “Drop it, Snow,” he says, the hardness returning to his eyes, and I know I’ve cornered him.  Drop it is Baz’s way of betraying himself, of saying there’s something that he doesn’t want to tell.

           “Was I supposed to kiss you?” I ask.  For some reason I have to know.

           “No.”

           “Then what?”

           “I don’t know, Snow, punch me.  Push me. Beat me to the ground.  Something.”

           My brow furrows in confusion.  “Wait. You wanted me to hit you?”

           He shrugs, more with his head than his shoulder.  “One of us has to get hurt, right?”

           I rise to my feet, and I’m face-to-face with him again, only his eyes are different this time.  Whereas at the booth he had betrayed no hint of doubt at our closeness, now there’s a flicker of something in the silver, something that feels a lot like the way my heart is racing in my chest, and it dawns on me.  He was putting on a show at the carnival, acting like nothing I could do would get to him, just as I had been.

           If they think I’m afraid, what reason do they have to hope?

           One of us has to get hurt, right?

           And suddenly it makes sense.

           There’s only a few inches between us, so it feels almost natural when I lean in and press the gentlest of kisses to his lips.

           He doesn’t kiss me back this time, but he doesn’t move away either.  “What was that for?” he asks when I draw back a second later.

           “You act like we’re so different,” I say wonderingly, “but we’re the same.”

           “How?”

           “What do you think we’d be if we didn’t have to fight each other?”

           I don’t miss the split second of longing in his eyes.  “Keep dreaming, Snow.”

           “Because I bet it would involve a lot more of this.”  I bring a hand up to his neck, my fingers instantly lost in the wavy tips of his hair and it’s exactly as soft as it looks bathed in moonlight.

           Baz closes his eyes like he has to collect himself.  “You’re the hero.  I’m the villain.  What more do I have to say?”

           “Fuck that,” I chuckle, “we both know that’s not true.  You’re a boy, and I’m a boy.  That’s all.”

           “Tell that to the rest of the world.”

           “I don’t care about the rest of the world,” I shake my head adamantly, “I want to know what you think.”    

           “About what?”

           “If there was no act, no reputation, no role to play,” I murmur, “if we were just two boys, what would you do?”

           Baz returns my gaze a moment, searching my eyes.    

           Then his lashes close and he’s kissing me, and my eyes drift shut again like I’m sighing in relief.

           I let my fingers tangle higher up in his hair while my other hand grips the front of his shirt like earlier, only without the anger of the afternoon.  He angles his head further and guides the kiss deeper, his hands gently gripping my waist and pulling me closer.  I melt against him, my mouth moving with his, my head swimming with his citrusy scent, and I can’t hold back the moan that escapes my throat when he takes my bottom lip between his teeth in a gentle tug. Suddenly I’m floating, weightless, and Baz gives a muffled sound of surprise when I press back a little harder.

           When we finally break apart, both of us gasping and dizzy, I immediately want more, want to line his neck with my mouth, want to feel his breath hitch when I reach the base of his throat, want to hear my name in his sigh.  Would he sigh Snow or Simon?  I want to know.

           “Please,” I whisper, dotting a kiss to the corner of his mouth, “can’t we just be two boys?”

           When I meet his eyes, they’re full of more longing than ever.

           In response, he kisses a soft, slow triangle pattern on my cheek, and I recognize the pattern of the three moles by my eye, and I can’t help but smile.

“We can try.”

Oh Sehun//For Her

Originally posted by veriloquentmind

Summary: The first words you’ll hear your soulmate say are tattooed onto your skin from birth. You hear the words, but in the worst possible situation - he’s in love with your close friend. 
Scenario: Soulmate AU, angst, fluff
Word Count: 5,746

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Deconstructed sushi w smoky tahini tofu, arugula, avocado, pickled ginger, sesame, avocado, carrots, cucumber, white rice, kelp, and avocado sushi and you can bet I drizzled this in soy sauce after the photo haha 😜😜 

✨instagram✨: @veganzoejessica

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  • the only other game i basically play besides ts4 ~ been playing for about 3 years! this is my mayor-inspired sim + my current babies/townies :> C

visit me n my town - [ 4A00-0014-FCBC ]

“are you a boy or a girl?”
 
  i am stardust kissing the atmosphere with millions of light years held inside of me, millions of stories and histories you could not even begin to dream of
  i am fire, flames so bright you melt in my presence, i ignite myself with the gasoline of your hatred and fear and misunderstanding, and i will burn down this town
  i am the flowing of river, currents rushing, never stopping; i am the unnamed ocean you wouldn’t dare to place a toe in; i am the serene lake, so beautiful to look at but so toxic beneath the surface; i am a puddle after the rain, created effortlessly by mother nature; i am the rain, you’ll never know if i am just going to be a drizzle or if i am going to bring the storm
  i am a fun house mirror, distorted by societal expectation, ugly to the naked eye, but inside i am still me, and nothing can change that
  i am
  i am so much more than you could even begin to understand
  and yet,
  you dare to suggest that all that i am can be summed up by your binary
—  are you a boy or a girl?
(cc, 2017)
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《Ήθελα τόσο πολύ να ξαπλωσω διπλα της στον καναπε,να τυλιξω τα μπρατσα μου γύρω της και να κοιμηθώ. Όχι να πηδηχτουμε όπως σ'εκεινες τις ταινίες. Ούτε καν να κάνουμε σεξ. Απλά να κοιμηθούμε μαζί, με την πλέον αθώα έννοια της φράσης. Όμως μου έλειπε το απαραίτητο θάρρος, εκείνη είχε ήδη αγόρι,εγώ ήμουν άχαρος και εκείνη υπέροχη, εγώ ήμουν αφόρητα βαρετός και εκεινη αστείρευτα συναρπαστική. Επέστρεψα λοιπον στο δωμάτιο μου και σωριαστηκα στο κάτω κρεβάτι και σκεφτόμουνα πως έτσι και οι άνθρωποι ήταν βροχή,εγώ ήμουν ψιλοβροχο και εκείνη τυφώνας.》

《I wanted so badly to lie down next to her on the couch to wrap my arms around her and sleep. Not fuck, like in those movies. Not even have sex. Just sleep together in the most innocent sense of the phrase. But I lacked the courage and she had a boyfriend and I was gawky and she was gorgeous and I was hopelessly boring and she was endlessly fascinating. So I walked back to my room and collapsed on the bottom bunk, thinking that if people were rain, I was drizzle and she was hurricane.》

●John Green - Αναζητώντας την Αλάσκα/Looking for Alaska

*my body is my home*

i live in a newly built 1 bedroom 1 bath house in the poor suburbs. i decorate my home with flowers and art, but it’s still nothing compared to all of these grand houses. i paint the exterior a warm drizzled honey yellow; i paint the interior an endless black
At times i am ungrateful . At times i am willing to
burn down my house and move into your apartment.

my body is my home and i want to move out.
my body is my home and i am going bankrupt
my body is my home and i am tearing down the walls, yet hesitant to touch the foundation.

… i got an offer today… for 3x it’s value.
if i sell it today i can afford the shallow empty mansion, but as i walk up to the paved entrance my legs become weak, for no flowers are grown here to support my foundation.

i cannot live here, nor can i renovate, i cannot do anything or else i am not home. at home i belong and cannot change.

—  merazda