and i want you to be happy and healthy

Yall be doing too much on Tumblr

social media be the death of some relationships

Well not social media but people who overshare on social media

I think that’s why Tumblr famous couples don’t really last

You’re allowing too many people into your relationship

I’ve had multiple friends say they or the person they were dating received death threats, were harassed, etc from the other persons followers after breaking up even when the break up was mutual and that’s not okay

Share your happy moments that’s cool, but don’t share anything else. If you want to keep a happy and healthy relationship than communicate with each other not with your followers.

Unless that person really fucked you over then keep shit between y'all 🤷🏾‍♀️

(This does not apply if you’re in an abusive situation, please reach out for help)

Dear me, you are allowed to feel angry, frustrated, and sad. You’re allowed your feelings and your thoughts, and you shouldn’t feel bad because you feel them so strongly. You have every right to feel the way you do. But you gotta find positive, healthy ways to deal with those emotions. You have to find distractions that make you happy, that make you feel good, that make you want to be productive again. I know it’s hard, it’ll always be hard, but you gotta at least try. Trying isn’t nothing. Trying is EVERYTHING.

Sincerely, me

I’m looking forward to Aaron in a “normal, happy, and healthy” relationship. But what worries me is how rushed it is. We all know that rushed in soaps means it’s a wham, bam, thank you mam relationship. That are over before they begin.

I like Alex well enough, he’s a good looking, good guy who fancies Aaron and gets on well with Liv. That’s a plus in my book, but this feels less about Aaron seeing what else is out there and experiencing a “normal, happy, and healthy” relationship and more just another obstacle for Robron. Or to show Aaron the kind of things he doesn’t want in relationships, even if that doesn’t lead him back to Robert.

Which is kinda sad.

10

happy birthday to our sweet namjoon!
thank you for being our galaxy 

I hope pregnant trans men are doing ok. I hope that them and their children are healthy and I really want them to know that having babies isn’t just a thing for women, and that their gender is still valid. Your kid will love you regardless of your gender identity, don’t worry about it. I hope they have a safe, healthy birth with no complications and that they recover from it well.

3

JIMIN PLEASE STOP LOSING YOUR WEIGHT WE WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY, TO BE HEALTHY AND TO GET OVER YOUR INSECURITIES. I WANNA TAKE THE NEXT FLIGHT TO SINGAPORE AND PULL HIM INTO A TIGHT HUG. LET HIM EAT WHATEVER HE WANTS AND HAVE A FULL SOFT TUMMY AND CHUBBY CHEEKS

2

Okay, I’m going to address a serious issue you here; usually I don’t post anything serious and about another band. But the picture above is a member of BTS(Bangtan Boys), Park Jimin, the reason why I’m talking about him is because of how skinny he’s got(photo on the left), it’s one thing to weight and gain muscle to be healthy, but he lost weight obviously not gaining any muscle. Jimin has always had some chub on him, he’s known for his cute chubby cheeks and thick thighs. But recently from the latest pictures posted from the airport and award shows there is a huge difference of his physical appearance in two comebacks. The picture on the right was two years ago and that was healthy, he was skinny but almost all of it was muscle. It’s alarming if you ask me, he’s really small now and he doesn’t even have muscle on him any more. Jimin is known for in the past to starve himself because of “fans” telling him he’s too chubby or he’s fat or that he felt like he was too big when he isn’t. He shouldn’t feel like he is too fat or needs to lose weight, and fans that tell him he does and doesn’t appreciate his body aren’t real fans. It’s his body he can have chub, it’s normal to have chub on your body. And saying that he can lose weight, IN A HEALTHY WAY NOT STARVING HIMSELF!!!! But he should be comfortable in his body!!! And not feel like he has to change for us!!! Or for anyone!!! It bothers me he does stave himself because it’s dangerous and unhealthy and I want him to be healthy and happy, and starving yourself doesn’t do that for you. His arms, neck, and face are smaller than before. It kills me to see idols, not just him to starve themselves to please fans, that shouldn’t be the case no matter what. It’s not about Jimin who has a history of starving to lose weight, many exo members, Seventeen members and Girl Groups have a history to starve themselves as well, in general I think it should all just stop together because there will be at one point an idol that will take starving too far and have a serious accident. It doesn’t matter what we think, we should be glad they are alive and healthy and their bodies are none of our business because they aren’t ours to own or claim. I want Park Jimin to know that he was perfect the way he was and still his but he shouldn’t have to change his body for anything. I, and not just me love his cute personality and himself in general which is why it hurts me to see him starve himself again. You aren’t a real fan if you think that he should lose weight or any idol, let them be happy and healthy and I pray he eats well soon and gain some of bodyweight again because that boy shouldn’t have to feel like he’s fat. As long as he doesn’t lose anymore weight from this he looks healthy but still he is a lot more thinner. I posted this to make everyone aware of the fact that he has lost weight, I really hope it isn’t he’s back to bad habits and to bring light to a serious issue of idols starving themselves, not just him.

hello and welcome to my first studyblr post!! i’ve seen a ton of these around, but not many have all the tips i’ve learned throughout high school. i go to a private preparatory school and i’m top 5 in my class and i lead many extracurriculars. last year was the CRAZIEST year of my life, but with a certain mindset & only a few all nighters, i managed all A’s in all advanced courses. So, here are the tips i’ve learned!!

  • write stuff down!!!! i know it is the most obvious thing, but writing down anything you need to remember, whether that be homework, tests, quizzes, events, due dates, reminders…anything! checking off these things at night is so satisfying and you won’t forget anything important. when i’m in the #zone, my mind often thinks of stupid questions/thoughts. I’ll jot these questions/misc. thoughts unrelated to what i’m focusing on to come back to later and explore!! (for example, i was doing an frq for econ and i thought of doing this post, so i wrote it down in my journal.)
  • organization. there are so many masterposts out there to help you with organization. my method included binders & comp. notebooks.. that’s about it! i’m not very organized
  • get to know teachers. this is probably what helped a lot my junior year. not only is maintaining good relationships with teachers good for you, it can be beneficial to your grade as well. when you make friends with teachers you always have someone to talk/rant to & they always give you the inside gossip about teachers/other students. have coffee/lunch w them, or talk about theories from the class they teach. they give you a lot of perspectives on the course and cool ideas!
  • manage your time. again, another broad statement. but what i did every night kept me sane. my schedule every day after classes (including saturday) was: 
    • practice until 5 
    • extracurriculars until dinner (6:30-7) 
    • minimal homework until done (usually 1-2 hours)
    • study for 1+ hours if needed (8-9 pm)
    • enjoyment time (at least 30 min)

while this may not be a lot for most people, it was a lot for me and i needed time to make myself happy. school and friends make me happy, but so does alone time. putting this minimum of 30 min a day (if i don’t fall asleep before that) really helped me get through demanding courses because i had an incentive. this schedule also helped me avoid procrastination!! ALSO, I prioritized like hell. Honestly, if homework was a completion grade, I wouldn’t try at all unless i needed the practice. Same goes with classes. the ones i had high A’s in, i would sometimes sacrifice a homework grade in order to get enough sleep or study for another test. while this is not the most ethical way of doing it, it helped.

  • Avoid procrastination. procrastination is your worst enemy. I used to be so bad, but now i’m getting better. this is key. in order to beat procrastination, you have to have self discipline. simple as that. get inspired. for many of you, it’s your studyblr community, for me it was for personal pride and competition. you must execute to get the job done. it will be worth it in the end.
  • do the little things. put away the phone. put music on if it helps. stretch a little. get some water. get as content and comfortable as you can when you study.
  • SLEEP!!!! that’s all i can say. sleep sleep sleep. it’s important. i know life is busy, but make time for sleep if you can. mental illness is a bitch, and sometimes it can make falling asleep hard. i know. just try your best & that’s enough. anytime i had free time during the day, i slept. nothing is more important than sleep, and if i didn’t get at least 8 hours of sleep the night before, i tried to catch up as best as i could. your brain needs a break to refuel and you will feel refreshed the next day. 
  • Eating healthy. i rarely see this tip around (maybe i’m not searching hard enough) but i think it’s important. eating healthy is excellent for your brain function & body function. it’s hard, especially in college, to have to motivation (or money) to make your own dinner, lunch & breakfast everyday. but. it’s. worth. it. i can’t stress this enough. i feel more awake and energized at school and workouts and your body has to have these nutrients to keep functioning well. 
  • Exercise. gross i know, please don’t hurt me, but exercise goes right with eating healthy. the better you feel about yourself, the better you will do in school. simple enough. you will have more motivation, energy, and happiness with a good diet and exercise. running daily and occasionally swimming gets me though the week, and while sometimes i don’t want to workout, i always feel good in the end. find something you like doing and stick to it. try to work out 3 times a week. after every workout, i am always motivated to study
  • UNDERSTAND THE MATERIAL. it’s so obvious, but so many people just memorize. while you have to memorize any new thing you learn in the beginning, there is a time when you must apply what you memorized. you must actually think about why this term/concept is what it is based on memorized facts. you must see the whole picture and how little things relate and why they do. last year i realized this and it worked wonders. for me, if i understood the big picture, i knew the facts by heart. it dawned on me that you must train the mind to think. when going through notes, quizzes, tests, and studying i always asked myself why is this important and what it relates to. retention. is. key. understanding, and not memorizing facts will help so so much!!
  • STUDY BUDDIES. i can’t stress enough how much this helped me. coming from a boarding school, it’s easy to work on homework with friends all the time. to review for a test, my friends in the class would all meet and discuss the material. i’m an auditory learner, so this worked 10x better. what i’ve learned is that if you can teach it, you know it. when i could explain concepts to my friends, i knew i didn’t have to study that. if questions came up when i was trying to discuss my line of thinking, i revisited my notes and tried to understand why i didn’t get it. if we had study guides, we would all do the question and discuss why we got our answers after. for me, discussion is the best way to get new perspectives and ideas as well as understanding the topic better. (i also love talking so).
  • ask questions. even if its stupid. even if you’re just curious. always ask them. 
  • study environment. outside (if it wasn’t terrible weather) is where i love to study with friends. if it is snowing or raining, i go to the library or a local coffee shop. it really just depends on my mood. find an area where you feel the most productive!

This is something I hope all of my followers and the entire studyblr community will read…

Last year was the hardest year of my life and I did not even notice it until I was out of it. To give a little background, I was 19, and becoming a college senior. I completed my bachelor’s degree with a double major, summa cum laude. I worked two jobs, one retail, one as a tour guide, five days a week, and took seven classes in the fall, and eight in the spring, and six in the summer. By March I had lost 16 pounds, was not eating, not sleeping, and drinking four or more cups of coffee a day. I had a boyfriend, friends, a roommate, I was president of a club, vice president of another, and working as vice president of one club’s international leadership program as one of five student board members across sixty-three countries. I studied for my LSAT, took the exam, and applied to law school. And in August, I will be the youngest person in my law school.

I pushed myself harder and further than I ever imagined, and though I sometimes (often) felt like it, I never cracked, gave up, or even collapsed. I did not always take care of myself, physically, mentally, or emotionally though, and I failed myself there, but I was so driven, so determined, that none of that mattered to me at that moment. I do not regret that or any of the choices I have made, but I pressured myself more than anyone ever has, and more than I ever have. I accomplished unbelievable things, but at an insane cost - my health.

Often in this community I receive messages, and see posts, encouraging you to never give up, and to always push yourself to get that A, pass that test, graduate, or to overcome whatever academic or otherwise challenges you are facing. Almost daily I receive messages asking how I do it. “How did you graduate at 20?”, “How do you keep up with all of your commitments?”, and even, “You are so amazing, I could never do it like you do”. But I am here to tell you well, it is not pretty. I went days without eating a meal at times. Days without washing my hair, of wearing the same torn leggings and a hoodie because a grade meant more to me than I meant to myself. I got walking pneumonia at the end of the spring term because I had pushed myself too hard and spent weeks telling myself I could not afford to be sick today, tomorrow, or the next day. I wore myself down so much that I had a doctor literally tell me that now at 20 years old, if I do not tone down the stress and pressure I subject myself to, that I could give myself a stroke. A stroke, 20 years old!

Being a perfectionist, and being so overwhelmingly addicted to my studies, is not glamorous.

I am making this post not to brag about my accomplishments, but because I receive messages daily idolizing me and what I have done. I want everyone to know that this is not easy. Having a dream is hard work, and I have been unfairly hard on myself. Just because you do not see someone’s cracks and scars, does not mean they are not there. I have worked hard, and have earned these things, but I have made sacrifices I would hate to see anyone else make.

In 10 days I move across the country to start law school, and I am terrified that I will allow myself to do this all over again. I am not afraid of the move, or of law school, but of myself and how I talk to myself and treat myself, and the amount of stress and pressure I am willing to apply to myself, without hesitation. In a month I have law school orientation, and have set up a meeting with one of the school’s onsite trauma therapists. I refuse to let myself be my own greatest roadblock. I have to learn to love myself. It is not fair to your body and mind to put grades above yourself. I now full heartedly believe that a grade is not worth your health. I will no longer break my back bending over backwards for an A+. I will no longer let myself go days without food and rest because I want this essay to be perfect, or my presentation to go as planned, second by second. I will allow myself to be happy, well rested, well fed, and healthy. I will love myself, and this is a promise I am making to myself and to all of you, and a promise I hope you all can make to yourselves as well.

I promise.

TLDR; Be dedicated, and determined to get what you want, but do not sacrifice your health, mental, physical, or emotional, for a grade, a diploma, a degree… You are worth so much more than a letter on a piece of paper, and it is okay to sometimes need to hear that. I know I did.

anonymous asked:

i don't think she just gained weight, at first i thought she just was eating good, but then i noticed her style and clothes she wore as of late, they're all baggy clothes that hide the belly plus her face/lips/nose is swollen. i think she might be pregnant!

This is what “baggy” clothes look like: 

People seem to forget she was a bit thick in 2011: 

and this was Rih in the beginning of 2013, she had clearly lost weight:

Here is Rihanna this year, healthy and happy: 

Now, Rihanna is not fat, and not pregnant. Everyone thinks that they can comment about her weight, when they should be worried about their own weight/bodies. All of this “I’ve never seen her this thick before!” or “She’s been eating so good!” is ridiculous! Over the years, she’s dropped and gained, this is nothing new. So, we’re not going to be responding to anymore questions in regards to her weight. It’s not funny, it’s just mean. I took time out of my day to post these pics, so I want you and others to stop commenting about Rihanna’s body. 

  • me: [just chilling]
  • me: [starts thinking about how for over 10+ years yuri was constantly pushing himself to grow up faster and to exceed others' expectations like when he was a literal infant he just kept telling his grandpa he could do better and he was fine without his mom and as a teenager he told lilia he would give her his entire soul and body to win but even that required him doing routines that he didn't necessarily enjoy and otabek is the only person who's never made him feel like he has to prove himself or be anyone other than who he is bc from the very start he's always viewed him as an equal and fully respected him so yuri can finally act his age and do what he wants to do and canonically otabek and yuri have a loving, supportive friendship that could one day set the grounds for a healthy relationship]
  • me: [choking back tears] n-nice..........
September 16, 2017

Today marks 365 days since I started my weight-loss journey. Some of these photos I was very reluctant to post because I’ve never enjoyed showing my body or made myself so vulnerable on social media, but this is me and where I am today. There’s so many things I want to say and share about this past year, but I think what’s most important is that I’m happy and healthy. I had great support from friends and family, fought through tons of self doubt, and kept looking towards the finish line the entire time. They weren’t lying in health class, it really is all about eating right, drinking lots of water, and working out. As of now I have lost a total of 95lbs. A year ago today I made a choice, and I will never turn back. To the girl from a year ago, I want you to know that you were beautiful no matter what size you wore or what you weighed on the scale, and I’m glad you decided to change your lifestyle so you could be healthy and work on your physical and mental health. If only you could see now how much better you feel about yourself and about life. I hope I can share this and inspire some people no matter what it is they’re trying to achieve in life right now. Stick with it and believe in yourself. You can do it! ✨💪🏻🎉

Love yourself just as you are or love yourself as you change yourself. Your own happiness and health (mental or physical) are whats the most important.

Safe Places.

Based on an ask I received!
I apologize, the story had to be edited so I rewrote the whole thing here!

Original idea by: @lightderin

Lance looked around at the accusing glares of his teammates, all different intensities. He smiled nervously, “Oops.”

They had been mapping out locations in the observatory of safe planets to land, or easy places to wormhole, in the case of an attack that needed quick escape.

The team had been at it for hours, and had over 120 spots pinpointed over multiple galaxies.

Lance, who had found the entire ordeal quite boring, had strolled away to check out the little holograms floating around.

He couldn’t help that it was hard for him to pay attention, ADHD did that to a person. Focusing just wasn’t his gig.

The blue paladin had started across the other side of the room, hands in his pockets and he just looked.

Until he thought he found Earth.

He should know what it looked like, he stared at its little hologram nearly every night.

Lance missed home.
He missed the people back there.

Without much thought, Lance reached forward to zoom in, a happy little smile on his lips.

Home.

Look at it, just right there—

“Aw, what the heck?!” A chorus of shouts came from behind and Lance jumped.

He turned to see the team staring at him, looking annoyed and tired. “Hm?”

Pidge motioned frantically to the hologram around them, “Lance, we lost our spot! We lost our points!”

Lance blinked, “…how?”

Keith groaned, “Idiot, because you were screwing around with the screen!”

Lance frowned, looking back at Earth, and saw how zoomed in it was and how the constellations and stars around him had changed too.

Oh, he didn’t think that one through.
Lance looked back at them and smiled nervously, “Oops?”

He was answered with grumbles, and a yawn from Hunk. They were tired and now were too frustrated to get significantly angry.

“Let’s go to bed, we can start again in the morning.” Shiro said, rubbing his forehead. “You too Lance.”

Lance rubbed his neck, looking at the ground as the team and the Altean duo walked past him.

He grunted when Keith bumped into him, “Watch where you’re going, Lance.” The red paladin spat.

Lance frowned.
Keith was the one who bumped into him!

“Oh yeah, mull—”
He was alone in the observatory.

He took a shaky breath, watching the doors close behind his friends, and sulked.

Great.
He had annoyed them all, again.

Why could he just keep his hands to himself? Look don’t touch, his mama had always said.

Lance sighed, arms coming up to pull up his hood and put it over his head. A safe place, where he could only see forward, and no one could see him.

Hoods were nice.
When you can only look back at your mistakes, they allow you to dream ahead and block out any side distractions.

It was a new world, your own world, and provided the blue paladin with a sense of security.

Safe.

He sat down, back in front of Earth, letting it float nearer to him and he watched it carefully.

The blue light illuminating the white space his head was tucked into, and it was just those two.

Lance and Earth.
She was such a pretty lady.

His sadness escaped through a sigh, and he allowed himself to be calm.

Tonight, he would fix it.
Lance would stay up all night and go through the map an replot every point.

And as morning came, the hood would come off, and Lance would feel a little better.

Everything would be okay.

It had to be, otherwise what would have been the point of staying up all night to do all of this for his team?

He skipped breakfast, as that time came the following morning. Not that he was incredibly hungry anyway.

“203…204, wait, no…” Lance put down another point, rubbing his eyes and swaying in his spot.

Lance had marked down every point they had previously plotted, and finding he hadn’t been able to sleep, continued on.

The blue paladin barely noticed as a door opened behind him, and the team entered.

“Wh— Lance? We thought you were still sleeping, you weren’t at breakfast.” Princess Allura said with a hint of surprise in her tone.

Lance chuckled, “Nah, thought I would finish up some of our plotting.”

Team Voltron and the Alteans were staring in awe at the color coordinated dots that glowed amongst the light blue holographic model.

“What is this?” Shiro asked.

Lance looked over, rubbing an eye.
“I felt horrible last night, messing up the work you guys did. So I stayed up and fixed it. I even took the time to color coordinate them by condition, size, and whether or not they are open at certain times.”

Each had their jaw dropped, staring at their blue paladin. He had done all of that?

“Did you sleep at all?” Hunk spoke up, brows furrowed as he stared at his friend.

The poor kid looked drained; skin paled, bags under his eyes, and red in the corners.

He was exhausted.

It took them a moment to process this, watching as Lance sat down and smiled at them. “I even found more. In at over two hundred charted locations giving the correct conditions.”

Keith said it. “Idiot.”

Lance blinked, visibly flinching at the sudden words, not what he had expected at all.

“What…?”

Pidge looked annoyed, although it was probably at the fact Lance had done something tech related better than her for once.

“You stayed up ALL NIGHT? On a map that wasn’t even that important?” She said, gaping.

Lance paused, “Not that…Wh… But you guys got so upset when I messed it up, an worked on it all day!”

Keith rolled his eyes, “Yeah, it needed done, but it wasn’t life or death. Look at you!”

Shiro, in a nicer tone, agreed. “He’s right, Lance. You didn’t have to do this, and it’s not healthy putting yourself through such stress.”

Hunk bit his lip, “I mean, you’re really tired right? What if, What o Zarkon attacked and you just fell asleep durin battle?”

“He would KILL you.” Allura confirmed. Coran nodded.

“You’ve got to take care of yourself.”

Lance looked around at his friends, not believing what he was hearing in the slightest.

How could they accuse him like this?
How could they be so rude?

Lance had done this for them, staying up all night to fix his mistake. He had wants to make them happy!

The blue paladin wanted to be apart of the team and help out for once, even if it was in a simple manner.

He hadn’t wanted to be reprimanded for a deed he believed was good.

Frustrated tears appeared, and Lance crossed his arms. “Fine, whatever, I’ll go to bed. Do what you want with that.”

He stood up, swayed, and nearly toppled over with exhaustion. Lance couldn’t stand the worried looks he was getting.

The hood came back up.
Things were supposed to have been okay.

Lance marched to his room, rubbing his nose with an aggravated sniff and glaring the tears away.

It wasn’t okay.
Why couldn’t it ever be okay?

all of my love and support goes to those who never had a good father on fathers day. to those who were abandoned or abused by the man who was supposed to love and nourish them throughout their childhood. its not going to be easy seeing so many happy, healthy father/child relationships tomorrow. it hurts and im sorry but i want you all to know that i support you and im here for you.

The Dino Situation.

Okay, so I felt like I had to get my opinion out there on this. It’s sweeping over the Internet and will be huge until Pledis gives an official statement. Before I start, I need to say a few things.

1) I’m not intending to add more fuel to the fire by talking about this, but I feel like this needs to be said. Fans need to understand this, because these “controversies” of dating idols shouldn’t even exist in the first place.

2) Whoever got into this girl’s phone, saw the video and shared it is despicable and deserves to be charged with some form of theft of private property. STEALING AND RELEASING PRIVATE VIDEOS AND PHOTOS WITHOUT CONSENT IS COMPLETELY WRONG.

Background: A video has surfaced of Dino saying “I love you” to a girl, using her name, and then blowing a kiss to her at the end.

Let me start by getting this out of the way: YOU DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT OWN YOUR IDOLS. There are no ifs, ands, or buts about that. They are people just like you, and you have no right to control their private lives.

If you are a “fan” that gets angry at an idol for dating someone and finding happiness, you are SELFISH. Completely, utterly selfish. You only care about your own feelings, not considering how your idol may feel.

These “controversies” about dating idols and romance are ridiculous and actually pathetic. WHY CANT PEOPLE, SPECIFICALLY FANS, LET THEIR IDOLS LIVE THEIR LIVES HOW THEY WANT TO??

Idols have a public persona, and they should be allowed a private life along with that. They give you their time, hardwork, efforts, etc. and you repay them with this? You turn on them when they’re trying to find happiness? That’s insane. I can’t even begin to wrap my head around how someone could deny someone else the happiness that they deserve - that everyone deserves.

If Dino’s dating, great! If not, that’s also great! So long as he’s happy and healthy and content with his life, all carats should be happy. If not, you should reconsider you status as a fan.

I can understand disappointment - sure, we all have dreams of meeting our idols and falling in love and living happily ever after. But that stuff happens in fanfiction and movies, not reality.

And this is reality.

So please, remember that your idols are people, too.

Treat them as such. Give them the respect they give you by producing great songs, giving awesome performances, acting well in dramas, etc. Spread kindness and positivity and make this world a better place. We have enough going on right now without adding more drama and more fuel to the fire.

stubborn || jeon jungkook

Jeon Jungkook x reader

Summary: Jungkook won’t admit he’s sick, and when his condition worsens, you have to look after him. 

Genre: fluff, sickfic

Words: 2716

“I just wished he would care less about his image, and more about himself.”

Originally posted by nnochu


I first noticed something was wrong when Jungkook was up before me. Known for being the last awake in every situation, no matter the urgency, he usually clung to the warmth of his bed and the tendrils of sleep for as long as he physically could. He could sleep through almost anything, and on previous mornings I had been forced to resort to drastic measures like pouring water over him just to get him to respond.

So, when I blearily awoke to my alarm and didn’t feel his warmth beside me in the bed, even in my tired state I was immediately alert. I sat up, rubbing my eyes and looking around. I noticed there was light leaking out from below the bathroom door, filtering into the still dark room, any early morning light obstructed by the curtains.

“Jungkook?” I called sleepily, hearing movement from inside. I frowned when I heard coughing, yawning and swinging my legs over the edge of the bed, approaching the bathroom when the door opened.

“Yeah, I’m here.” He spoke croakily and I sighed in relief, giving him a once over to see if anything was obviously physically wrong with him. I tended to perhaps worry excessively over Jungkook, given how I had quickly come to understand that he wouldn’t ask for help until he was in the worst possible condition. Previous occasions of fainting and injuries made worse by being left untreated had placed me on high alert for anything out of the ordinary. I just wished he would care less about his image, and more about himself.

In the pale light of the bathroom I could see that he looked tired and that his face was slightly red, but there was nothing obviously wrong with him, so I proceeded to give him a smile and wrap my arms around his neck.

“Morning.” I grinned, pecking his lips before moving away to open the curtains. “Why are you up so early?” I pulled back the fabric, immediately filling the room with bright light that made me squint as I turned back to him to see his reaction. He winced at the light and shrugged, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Just getting a drink.” He answered, gesturing to the glass on the sink behind him. “Woke up thirsty.”

I narrowed my eyes at his raspy voice, taking in his tired eyes and red nose again: he was ill. But I said nothing and only nodded, not wanting to have to deal with defensive I-refuse-to-believe-I-am-sick Jungkook at this time of morning.

As we got ready together his symptoms continued. He would swallow his coughs, choking into his fist when he held back one too many, and he was groggy, barely reacting to anything I said. My concern grew as I watched him wince and press his hands over his eyes, leaning over the table.

“You feeling alright?” I asked nonchalantly, hiding the worry in my voice. If he knew I was concerned he would be even less inclined to admit something was wrong. He immediately perked up his head.

“What? Yeah I’m fine.” He brushed off, and I sighed, exasperated at his terrible lying. Knowing he would continue to deny it, I told myself that he’d be fine for the day. Once he got home he would be too tired to refuse my care and I would ensure he got better. All I had to do was let him get through this day.

But as I said goodbye to him at the door, pulling down his mask to kiss him goodbye, I felt the heat leaving his skin and flinched away. I made a noise of surprise, my eyes widening.

“Jungkook!” I exclaimed quietly, gently putting the backs of my hands on his cheeks and then on his forehead, gasping at the temperature. “You’re so warm…” I felt worry squirm up from my stomach to my chest. But he only chuckled weakly, taking my hands in his own and rubbing them.

“I’m not. You’re just cold.” He smiled, trying to ease my concern, but I took my hands back to push the hair off his forehead and feeling the sweat accumulating there. I shook my head, frowning.

“No, baby, you’re really sick.” I stroked his cheek, noting how his eyes were glassy and he seemed to lean into my touch, closing them as if he wanted nothing more than to sleep. He pressed his hot cheek into my palm as I continued to stroke his hair. “You can’t go to practice today.” I said and he whined into my hand, shaking his head.

“ ‘have to go to practice.” He murmured, and I shook my head again, forcing his head up so I could meet his eyes.

“No, you’re staying at home today, let’s get you back upstairs-” But as I began to lead him towards the stairs he suddenly seemed to shake himself awake. He pulled himself out of my grasp, rubbing his eyes.

“No, I can’t Y/N, I’m going to practice.” He said firmly, trying to open his eyes wider. I frowned, trying to grab him again.

“Kook, don’t be dumb.” I chastised, angry at his refusal to accept help. “Why can’t you just accept that you’re sick? Everyone gets sick!” I exclaimed, growing frustrated. He shook his head and chuckled weakly, infuriating me even more.

“I’m not sick.” He denied, and I felt like hitting him. How stupid did he think I was? I glared at him as he pulled up his mask again. He opened the door and I didn’t miss his wince at the icy air suddenly rushing in and hitting his hot skin.

“I’ll see you later.” He rasped, and I only crossed my arms and continued to frown at him, hoping I could guilt trip him into staying. He waited for a reaction from me, sighing as he saw I wasn’t going to give him one. He walked out and I felt anxiety and frustration bubble up in me again.

“You’ll only make it worse!” I yelled desperately from inside, still glaring as he only raised a hand in response, walking off down the road. I sighed in defeat and shut the door, scuffing my feet on the floor.

I went about my day with concern constantly flooding my thoughts, reminding me of how hot his skin had been, how gruelling his dance practices could be, and how he didn’t even take any medicine. Sitting at the table at home around lunchtime, I couldn’t stop tapping my foot in worry, and sent him the fifth text that day asking how he was, and demanding he come home if it got too much for him. He hadn’t replied to any of them, of course, and I grew more and more anxious as the day progressed, trying to wrap myself up in my work so I wouldn’t worry as much.

About half an hour later, I was snapped out of my concentration by the sound of the door being unlocked. My head whipped up, and I immediately stood and moved towards it as it opened. He seemed to be wrapped in even more layers than I had sent him in as he stumbled through the door slowly. Just by his movements I could tell he felt really bad, and my heart lurched in my chest.

“Jungkook!” I exclaimed, rushing to his side as he shut the door, placing my hands on his shoulders to look at his face whilst he leant against the wall for support. “Are you okay?” He looked at me blearily through hooded eyes. Before he could answer he suddenly bent over as a harsh cough wracked his body. I bit my lip at how painful and deep in his chest it sounded, and rubbed his back until he finished. He took in a rattling breath and stood upright again.

“Namjoon sent me home…” He mumbled as I helped him move to the couch, where he slumped gratefully, his eyes closing. “’Kept getting the dances wrong.” I saw his eyebrows furrow as he said this, heard the pain in his voice and sighed, knowing nothing affected him more than the thought of disappointing his fellow members.

“Well that wasn’t your fault, okay?” I said gently, unbuttoning a coat I didn’t recognise to see his own one underneath. “Whose coat is this?” His eyes remained closed as he sat forward so I could pull it off his body, coughing slightly at the movement.

“Taehyung’s.” He murmured, and then gestured to his neck which was wrapped in a dark blue scarf I hadn’t noticed. “’scarf is Jimin-hyung’s.” I nodded, the corner of my lips turning up at the thought that I wasn’t the only one concerned about him. He was mumbling something very quietly, but I only caught the words ‘hyungs’ and ‘cold’ as I gently undid the scarf and slipped it off him.

“Are you cold, baby?” I asked, noticing his chattering teeth. But he opened his eyes to frown and shake his head.

“No. Hot.” He whispered, his own hands coming up to fumble with his coat buttons to get it off him.

“Okay, okay, hang on.” I stopped him, worry once again taking over me at how weak and disoriented he was.

I removed his coat and shoes and covered him in a blanket, despite his complaints of being too hot. I let him sit on the couch and sip at the water I gave him, but he could barely get it down without choking. As far as I could tell, he was running a fever, and a bad one, based on the sweat practically pouring off him, and how hot his skin seemed. I sat next to where he was slumped, with the thermometer in my hand, and he immediately leant into my side, his eyes shut tight and his breathing heavy.

“I’m going to take your temperature, okay?” I asked gently, stroking back his hair from his sweaty forehead. “Can you open your mouth?” He opened his mouth obligingly. That in itself was a sign of how ill he felt; it would usually take a lot more than that for him to agree so easily. I carefully placed the thermometer under his tongue and he shut his mouth, leaning against me as I continued to card my fingers through his hair.

I took a sharp breath at the numbers that lit up the screen, glancing down at him uneasily. A degree or two higher and I would have to take him to hospital. Fear spiked in my chest and I clutched him a little tighter to me. Hoping it wouldn’t come to that, I decided the best thing for him would be to sleep. I placed a hand on his cheek, rubbing it lightly to get him to open his eyes.

“Hey,” I whispered, “you want to go to bed?” He nodded and I pulled him to standing, steadying him as he swayed dangerously, his hands clutching his head. Halfway up the stairs we had to stop as a sharp intake of breath triggered another coughing fit, his hand clutching his throat as he painfully choked and gasped for air. My stomach squirmed with anxiety as I rubbed his back pitifully, hating that I couldn’t do anything to help him.

Once I got him into bed, he immediately shut his eyes. I brought him some pills for the pain in his head and chest, which he struggled to swallow, almost coughing up his lungs again. I laid a damp towel on his forehead, frowning as he flinched at the chill against his burning skin. After that I figured there wasn’t much else to do but stay with him and continually take his temperature, so I settled down next to him on the bed, just watching his chest rise and fall shakily as he wheezed, his breath rattling.

Watching him, my throat closed up. How couldn’t he see that I loved him enough to accept whatever was wrong with him, and help him? He should be able to be vulnerable in front of me. The thought crossed my mind that maybe I had done something wrong.

As the day turned to evening, thankfully, his breathing evened out and he stopped shivering. Checking his temperature again after a few hours, I closed my eyes and breathed a sigh of relief to see it had dropped significantly. I let myself relax, pressing a kiss to his warm forehead, which caused him to stir. I crouched beside the bed, watching his face as he began to move a bit more, which was far more reassuring than the corpse-like pose he had held for several hours.

“Jungkook?” I asked quietly after a moment, and he furrowed his brows with his eyes still shut. “Can you hear me?” I queried a bit louder, and as if his eyelids weighed a tonne, he slowly opened his eyes, turning his neck slightly towards me and nodding. I let a smile spread across my face as I saw him awake, his eyes looking clearer.

“Hey there.” I smiled, and he winced, raising a hand to his head.

“Ow.” He rasped, and I chuckled slightly.

“Yeah.” I raised my eyebrows at him and sighed as he coughed slightly, rubbing his neck and swallowing harshly. I moved around to the other side of the bed and lay down facing him. I watched as he tried to move into an easier position, obviously uncomfortable. He eventually settled down on his side, coughing a few times, wincing as he brought his hand up to his throat again.

“Will you listen to me next time I tell you to stay at home?” I asked, and he looked at me sceptically. I let out a breath of frustration, trying not to get annoyed again. I had to get this through to him somehow.

“Look, I love you, and you’re important to me, and lots of people.” I told him, meeting his eyes. “And I know in your job it might sometimes feel like you always have to be perfect.” He frowned a bit, and I knew I was right. I gave him a small frown, reaching out to touch his cheek lightly. “But that’s not true.”

I shuffled closer to him, and he opened his body to accommodate me. I slotted myself next to him, pressing a kiss to his neck as he remained still, but bowed his head to meet mine. I spoke softly into his skin.

“You’re only human, Jungkook. You are allowed to show weakness, especially in front of me.” He took a breath in, and I pulled back to meet his eyes. “We’d all much rather you were truthful than suffered. Your health always comes first.” I stroked his jaw lightly. “Do you get it?” I met his eyes again as he nodded slightly.

“I’m sorry.” His hoarse voice tugged on my heartstrings and I shook my head quickly.

“It’s okay. Just…” I found his hand under the cover. “Remember that we all love you, yeah?” He nodded, his eyes drooping shut again. I brought his hand to my mouth and pressed a kiss to the back of it.

“I love you too.” He whispered with his eyes closed, his fingers closing around mine, and I smiled softly. He was vulnerable like this, and seemed younger as he held my fingers like a child and his features softened out. Relief washed through me at seeing him there in front of me, safe and okay.

He was asleep within a few seconds, his chest still wheezing slightly, but no longer as worryingly, and his face peaceful. My frustration at him I had held earlier had washed away; I knew it wasn’t his fault. He couldn’t help it. But if one thing was for sure, there was no way I was letting him go anywhere the next day – he could fight me on that all he liked.

I wondered if what I had said had really gone in, sighing again as I realised it probably hadn’t. But I didn’t mind. You’re only human. You don’t have to be perfect. I love you. I would repeat it as many times as necessary until he finally began to believe me.


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