and i want to make that a thing

     Hi,  tumblr.  some of you know me as nook, some of you know me as @sesshcmaru  or  @forzia. So it’s time for me to reveal a dark secret, one that I need help for before I become so desperate that even stupid solutions seem desirable.  I am a victim of emotional and mental abuse at the hands of my parents. People who were meant to raise me who instead kept me and still keep me prisoner in my own home. My mother is a narcissist, gas-lighting and lying constantly in order to keep her need for power and control well-fed.  She steals from me, threatens me with suicide if i say ‘no’ to her, tells me that if i ever leave she’ll just ‘die’, and then turns around and tells neighbors and friends how worthless i am, how much she wishes i would just leave. she never let me learn how to drive because she knew that i would leave. even now, she makes up excuses for why i can’t learn. she can’t drive me. she can’t drive me to work because she doesn’t feel like it.  lately, I’ve taken up requests for theme backgrounds and icons and the like– and even now i find myself unable to finish several of them. because the strain from the amount of stress i’m under makes it impossible for me to function.  Many of you have read and responded to the things that my mother has done to me. I post about it rarely, but sometimes in detail on the dash. This time she’s stolen something precious to me, something I needed for my degree in anthropology as a symbol of what I wanted to do with my life. Something she doesn’t approve of.  This is only a week after Bo, a service animal, nearly died.

Rp has always been a hobby to escape. To become someone else. To put my feelings aside and my life aside and live, for a moment, as someone who has their shit together. It is sad and lonely, but it is the truth.  Two of my sisters ran away from her abuse about seven years ago. I have dreamed of nothing more than doing the exact same thing. I haven’t heard from them since.

But there is a glimmer of hope. A close friend has offered me a place to stay in the state of Arizona. She has offered to rent a uhaul truck, break her lease and help me and my three dogs find a place to live. That person is Brooklyn, @shouxryuuxha, who i have known in the rp community for several years. The thing is, I need money to help pay for gas and also to help us get an apartment. What I make working isn’t enough to cover it when most of my check goes toward keeping my mother at bay.  So, at the request of several of my friends and at the sake of my pride ( i hate asking for help. it feels dirty. it means i have to open myself up to people for them to see the parts of my life that are dark and narrow and frightening.) i have come to ask you all for help. please, donate what you can. I can try to pay you back someway, someday. But I need a safe place. I need respite. I need to live. 

Please donate anything you can to my paypal at  personalauthor13@gmail.com.  Include your url in the note and I will personally come and thank you, and try to do anything i can to repay the favor.

i can hear y’all thinking    ‘  ANOTHER  rper offering commissions ?  urg and this one isn’t even good at photoshop what the fuck   ’   well my dear ducklings              be  amazed  because i am not charging you guys any money for my mediocre photoshop skills.  
HOWEVER   (   ha you thought it was gonna be free did you now  ?  )   i would like for you guys to pay with  KINDNESS.   how does this work  it’s simple             you shoot me a message with what you’d like to get  (    i can do icons, mobile headers and promos and i  might  be able to be persuaded into trying my hand at making a theme background but no guarantee.  )   and i’ll inform you of the prize  !   for example  ;   20 icons are 2 genuine and kind messages to two rpers of your choice !   

so i’ll basically make you stuff and all you need to do is  COMPLIMENT  other people for it. doesn’t that sound  rad as fuck  ?   (    please note that these commissions might close for a bit if there is a lot of interest.   )   

Hey pals, I just wanna remind you that I’m the worst at answering messages and if I don’t reply to you quickly (or at all) it is absolutely not because of you personally!! Most of the time it’s due to one of the following scenarios:

  • I need to take some time to recharge and not interact with anyone (this is true even when you see me shouting into the void but not replying to messages, sometimes I just need to post things without talking with people one-on-one) 
  • I’ve never messaged you before–I’m a shy bean and I get overwhelmed when I talk to people I don’t know (yes, even online). I usually need space and time to warm up to you.
  • I saw your message, thought it was kind/funny/interesting/complicated, and I want to put some thought into the reply but haven’t quite figured out what to say yet 
  • I’m on mobile and answering asks can be a pain in the ass especially when I want to reply with links and images and stuff
  • I get a lot of messages and sometimes I just can’t get to them all, especially when they’re… 
    • questions you can easily just google
    • questions I don’t know how to answer (i.e. sensitive subject matter I’m not qualified to give advice about)
    • questions I’ve answered many times before (i.e. I get a LOT of questions about ukuleles and digital art as well as lady crush advice, and while I’m happy to help, it gets tedious answering the same things over and over–try searching my blog or reading my about/FAQ or advice tag first) 
    • part of a conversation I don’t feel like continuing–sometimes I’ll answer an anon telling me about their crush or their favorite candy or random kinks and then I get 50 more asks with basically the same subject matter and I don’t want to spam my followers 
  • My inbox was hungry and ate your ask so I never saw it. You may need to send it again or ask “hey did you get my message?” (but maybe wait like a few hours or even a whole day before doing this because again it may just be because of any number of the reasons above)

 Okay that is all, have a lovely day!!

i feel kinda bad for like having a misunderstanding/fallout over kyle ran but at te same time im not,,,,,, gonna just change my opinion???? like hes an evil dude whose background doesnt excuse his actions

Anyway should I lowkey come out…..ish. On FB. Like hint at not being gay but not being straight either sort of thing. Or shld I not cuz my grandma’s friends with me on FB and will definitely see it at some point.

anonymous asked:

"Maybe use tags? They’re fun." - you, as you left a paragraph of things in the tags.

I’M GLAD YOU’RE READING THE TAGS ANON. 

Good for you. They’re important. You can sort of subtweet people, or use them as your inner thoughts, basically the tags are hella useful and yes, fun. 

3

“Keeping up with the Blacks”

2
3

“So stop making that face at me…”

9

magnus playing with his rings

Happy birthday space dad !
Team voltron gave him his presents on the 28th this year !

(Bonus when you won’t stop joking about your big bro being 6 yo )