and i thought actually trying a pixel was a good idea ha

Braveten: A Witty and Spontaneous Writer

AO3 Profile


I bet everybody in the Yuri on Ice fandom already knows braveten. She’s only seventeen, but three of her works are already part of the top twenty Yuri on Ice fanfics that have garnered the most number of kudos in AO3. She is the writer who brought us All the World’s a Stage, Centripetal Force, The Fundamentals of Caring, and eight other entertaining stories. She has made us smile, laugh, cry, and has moved our hearts in a way that one can never forget.

Braveten couldn’t believe how surreal it is that many people enjoy her stories. She has always written for herself and for fun, so seeing that many people love her works is mindblowing. “And crazy exciting!!!” she adds.  “And also a little bit nerve-wracking, if I’m being honest. This show means a lot to me so knowing that I’ve had some sort of an impact on the fandom makes me really happy and I am super grateful!”

(We are grateful to you too, braveten.) However, aside from the stories she had written and her distinctly witty writing style, what else do we know about her? For the fans of braveten (and for those who don’t know her but are now interested), I have interviewed her and written this feature article for you.

Know more about the mastermind behind some of the fandom’s most beloved fics under the cut.

Keep reading

Becoming One (Soulmate AU)

Request: Woozi and #12 from the new prompt list please!

12) Soulmate AU: when you sleep you see the world through you bias’s eyes

Prompt list can be found here! :)

Member: Seventeen’s Woozi x Y/N

Type: fluff

The rain pounded on your heavy shoulders as you raced home, careful to avoid puddles as your sneakers smacked against the pavement. It had been raining consistently for the past week, leaving you continually damp and generally grumpy. You enjoyed rainy weather when you were allowed to watch it from the other side of the window. 

You yanked open the front door of your house and hustled across the threshold, popping off your muddy shoes along the way. 

“Hey honey, how was your-” your mother began, folding clothes near the couch. You sped past her, keeping your shoulders high to avoid any sort of conversation. 

“Can’t talk, tired!” you shouted over your shoulder, speed walking down the hallway. 

“You can’t escape your problems by hiding in someone else’s head!” your mom called after you, your door slamming on the last word. 

You sighed, dropped your backpack to the floor, and crawled into bed with no hesitation. She was right, sleeping would not help you deal with your bad days, but it wasn’t like you had normal dreams anyway. 

They began around age thirteen, the strange images that would appear as soon as you closed your eyes. They started out fuzzy at first, foggy around the corners, and in a rudimentary black and white. They were mildly frightening, almost like flashes of memories that felt familiar, but were obviously not yours. The language was strange and the sounds too harsh. Eventually, you had to come clean to your mother or else begin explaining why you looked like you never had any sleep. 

You had enlightened your parents of the strange nightmares plaguing you as soon as you laid your head to rest, only to have your parents knowingly smile at each other. They insisted that everything was normal and to not panic. This was difficult as you still had no earthly idea what it all meant. Feeling alone in it all, you had stormed away from the only people you could truly trust, insisting that they didn’t understand. 

That’s when the dreams became more vivid. No longer were you stuck looking at a pixelated screen, but bright images of laughing boys and dancing feet. The language was still unfamiliar, but much more soft, more comforting. It was as if the person you were seemingly living through had become aware of your existence, aware that this was incredibly new. 

That’s when you sat down with your parents again. 

“So…I need an explanation,” you insisted, crossing your small hands on the table before you. “It’s like I’m living someone else’s life when I fall asleep. I have no idea what he’s saying, but it’s a boy? These aren’t my experiences, but they feel like they are, and I’m honestly pretty freaked out.”

“Not to freak you out more,” your mother smiled. “But the images you are seeing are experiences belonging to your soulmate.”

“I’m going to need you to rewind and pause,” you had whispered, furrowing your brows. “This is something that happens in a sci fi movie, not in real life.” 

“If it makes you feel better, when he sleeps, he sees the world from your eyes as well!” your father said cheerfully, nodding his head. 

“How?” you gasped, suddenly feeling icky. “What all does he see? Oh my god can he see me using the bathroom? Mom, Dad, I can’t.” 

Your dad’s eyes became wide as he tilted his head, looking curiously at your mother. “I don’t remember seeing you in the bathroom, but this little punk better not-”

“I’m pretty sure that’s a hardcoded no-no in our human nature,” your mother nodded, her expression remaining serene. “Has he tried to contact you?”

“He’s going to try to contact me? I haven’t even seen his face yet,” you groaned. “He’s so calm though. He has to see me freaking out all the time.”

“Some cultures…and even some people’s parents try to explain the idea of soulmates to their children before they actually come into contact with them,” your mom continued. “Everyone starts experiencing the dreams at different times, so he could have realized what was happening.”

“Wait, so…like…he doesn’t speak English,” you whispered. “Does that mean I have to learn another language? When am I going to see his face?”

“Most likely,” your father nodded. “If you plan on communicating. And usually you won’t see his face until you actually meet. It’s funny how the universe works like that.” 

You rolled your eyes and stood from the table. “I just want to say, I would’ve appreciated a little heads up. I guess I’ll start my…um…Japanese lessons? Korean lessons? Chinese? I have to google some stuff…”

With years worth of dreams under your belt and unknowingly learning Korean in your sleep, the whole soulmate experience had become normalized by the time you got to university. You had slowly learned that your soulmate’s name was Jihoon and he lived in Seoul. He was a musician, and an extremely talented one at that. He was constantly surrounded by a troop of equally as talented and hardworking boys (not to mention incredibly good looking and goofy) so you felt optimistic about the idea of your future. You had grown to use Jihoon’s experiences as a coping mechanism, falling asleep whenever your own life became too difficult to handle so you could escape into his. He was normally calm, providing a quiet solace through his every day actions. You couldn’t help the small corner of your mind that was plagued by doubt, falling susceptible to the google articles you had read about soulmates never meeting and being haunted with the experiences of one another until their dying days. You knew you wanted to meet him, but just didn’t know when. Or if he even felt the same. 

Jihoon stifled a large yawn as he leaned over the mixing board in the studio. He had been at his work for hours, long since giving up the pleasant idea of sleep. 

The pleasant idea of you. 

He tilted his head as he thought about things, about the small bits of life he had shared through your eyes. He was grateful that he had such a kind soulmate, someone on the opposite side of the world unknowingly supporting him and pushing him to be better. He had been relentlessly practicing his English in his free time, capable of understanding most of your conversations in your daily life. He loved the sound of your voice more than any song he had composed. His heart fluttering in his sleep, managing to keep his emotions invested as your experiences became one. 

He scribbled idly onto his notepad, wondering what you would be seeing from his perspective today. He longed to get a glimpse of you, any little bit he could. He contemplated on the curve of your lips, the arch of your brow, the color of your eyes. He knew he’d never find out unless he could meet you in person, close the gap between the two of you. But how? 

Maybe a few hours of sleep would help.

You sprung from your bed, fresh from a nap following your afternoon classes. This was it, this was the break you needed. 

You slid from beneath the blankets and padded across the hardwood floor in search of whichever parent you could find first. Luckily they were both lazily reclined on the couch, glued to the television when you turned the corner. 

“Parents,” you nodded, your eyes urgent. “It’s time.”

“What’s time?” your mother sighed, looking up from the television. 

“For me to apply for the study abroad,” you continued. “In Seoul.”

Your father’s eyes looked quickly from you to your mother, surprised by the sudden outburst. “Are you sure?”

“I have enough,” you nodded. “I can find him. You said when I found him, I’d know, didn’t you? The feeling would be nothing I’ve ever felt before. Like dreams and reality became one.”

Your mother nodded slowly, a nervous smile on her face. “If you’re ready…we won’t stop you.” 

You nodded, an anxious feeling consuming your chest. “I’m ready.”

Jihoon launched from his small bed, slamming his head on the bunk above him. 

“Shit,” he grumbled, rubbing his forehead in aggravation. He looked around the dark room, his body still slow with movements of sleep while his mind raced. 

“Yah, you couldn’t have found a better way to wake me up?” Jeonghan grumbled, his head appearing over the side of the bunk. 

“I didn’t intend on waking anyone up,” JIhoon sighed. “I had a …dream? Nightmare? I don’t know anymore.”

“What did you see? Jeonghan asked, his head disappearing again. 

“She’s coming,” Jihoon whispered, shaking his head. 

“Well…that’s a good thing, isn’t it?” Jeonghan asked hesitantly. 

“I think so? What if she doesn’t like me? What if she says something about my height?” JIhoon continued. 

“Like, wow, that guy is so much taller than I expected!” Mingyu grumbled from his bunk on the other side of the room. “Seeing the world through his eyes made me think he was only 91cm tall.”

“If you wake up to a pillow over your face, you’ll know who you’re being smothered by,” Jeonghan giggled. 

“Look,” Seungcheol groaned, sitting up in the bed opposite Jihoon. “To save us all some wasted sleep, Jihoon, it’ll be fine.”

“I just want a normal night sleep,” Jihoon whined. “It’s been so long.”

“That’s why you have to meet her,” Seungcheol nodded. “You’ve been watching each other for years-”

“Creeeeepy,” Mingyu sang. 

The room didn’t have to be well lit to tell the other three boys were rolling their eyes. 

“If she didn’t want to meet you, she wouldn’t be on her way,” Seungcheol continued. “You’re usually the one to give me sound advice, so listen to yourself for once. Just breathe. It’ll all be fine.”

“And if it’s not,” Jeonghan called out. “At least you’ll be able to sleep again.”

Mingyu giggled “Ah yes, Woozi hyung’s true soulmate, a sound night’s sleep.”

You were nervous as you gripped the light stick in your hand, uncertain of what would happen next, or what you should do with it. You looked it over carefully, the small, pink diamond centerpiece, the easy script reading Seventeen. You looked back up again, beginning to navigate your way through the masses of teenage girls idling around in the crowd. After a few small attempts at begging and throwing your shoulders around, you finally found your way to the front row of the pit, your stomach pressed against the barrier. Your heart felt like it was about to explode, seemingly skipping beats as you came to realize the gravity of the situation. 

You were in Korea. You were at a concert. A concert being put on by an idol group. 

An idol group containing your soulmate. 

As the lights around the stage began to dim, the noise pulsing from the crowd grew louder. You began to contemplate your movements for once the show was over, after you were inevitably deemed just another face in the crowd, passed over by the man you had travelled so far to see. Could you follow their vehicles? Could you arrange a meeting at their entertainment building? Thoughts swam around your head as slow music began to pump through the already tense atmosphere and several boys appeared. 

You nodded with the beat, recognizing face after face as they became visible. That one was Seungkwan. And that one was Vernon. That one was Wonwoo. And that one was Mingyu. You continued to nod, feeling as if the seconds were stretching into hours as you waited to see the face you weren’t familiar with. 

Until it appeared and you realized…it was more familiar than them all. 

As your eyes found his face, his skin seemed to almost glow. You were rendered breathless, halting all movements as you stared up at him, completely lost in his movements as he strode across the stage. Your father was right. It was as if dreams and reality were becoming one. 

Your mind was completely blank, your eyes following him without stopping as he danced and sang his way back and forth in front of you, not stopping long enough to get a solid enough look into the crowd. You knew he had some idea that you were visiting. He had to have known you were here. 

Halfway through the show, when you thought you were going to pass out from lack of oxygen, the house lights came up, only a small group of boys coming out onto the stage. You recognized them immediately as Jeonghan, Joshua, DK, Seungkwan, and your Woozi. 

Almost as if drawn to you, he held tight to his guitar as he pulled his stool to sit before you on the stage. His eyes scanned the front row carefully, taking a small moment to acknowledge each fan and give them a small smile. The blood in your veins turned to ice water as his gaze grew closer to the section you were in. As he casually looked over each person, his eyes came to a halt, his attention completely focused on something. You tilted your head, realizing he was staring at your hands, draped over the barrier and clinging tightly to the light stick you had bought. His eyes slowly traced up your arms and across your shoulders, up your neck and halting on your face. His jaw dropped slowly as he openly gaped at you. 

“Woozi hyung,” Seungkwan whispered, sending an elbow to his older member. “Woozi hyung, introduce the song.”

Jihoon shook his head slowly, attempting to come out of the trance you had put him in. “This…this song…this song is for someone…I dream about every day. Please enjoy Mansae.” 

Originally posted by seungcheofine

Bullet Journal in a Lined Journal

Many of you have asked me how a lined journal can work for bullet journaling. Well, turns out it works fabulously. I found this cute journal at HomeGoods for $4.00 and I had to get it. (It’s a problem really.) I decided to use it to show you all how to use a lined journal as opposed to graph-grid, dot-grid, or blank pages. 

Like most journals, I began with an index. I embellished this page with washi tape and you will see that I’ve done that with every page in this journal. That blue smudge is actually blue highlighter that leaked through from the other side. 

This is my future log, again with washi embellishments. I split up the year into six months on each page. The spacing was difficult on this, but the lines helped to keep the dates straight. 

Normally, I’d put my icons on the page after my index, but I didn’t. There’s no turning back when you plan in pen. I also have my mood pixel page here. It’s good that I’ve only had four majorly depressing days this year. Improvement! 

I also have a bucketlist and a wishlist. As you can see, I’m not an exciting person. 

My “happy finds” are just things that make me smile or laugh. I thought it would be nice to have my favorite quotes next to the things that make me happy. Although, looking at it, I might run out of room on my quotes page. 

I’m not showing my birthday list, story ideas, or brain dump. The birthday list page isn’t done yet, so I’d rather just make a separate post for that one. I’m not showing my story ideas because I’m always afraid of people stealing my ideas. Especially in the world we live in today. My brain dump page is just for little questions and wonders I have through the day. Not very exciting, and a bit embarrassing. 

Moving on! 

My To-Do List actually has things checked off! It’s like journaling has helped or something  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

This isn’t in my index, so bonus for you all! This is my March calendar that I actually cut from my planner that I used in a different tutorial, which you can find [here]. I have a small habit tracker in the notes section. 

For my daily entries, I’ve been trying to go simple. I work too much to make fancy layouts now. This actually helps me find what I did on each day a lot faster. 

My goal is to use this journal all the way through. As someone who has an issue with sticking to one journal, this might be difficult. Let me know if you have any questions or responses to my journal!

Soulmates AU (10)

part one, part two, part three, part four, part five, part six, part seven, part eight, part nine

A Dream Come True (ao3) - darkness_prince_dan

Summary:  Dan’s got a major crush on an artist that frequents the coffee shop Dan works at and then there are magical drawings appearing on Dan’s arms. He should not be as cool with that as he is.

And I Think We Are Soulmates (ao3) - morghan03

Summary:  I have no explanation for this.
They meet at a party and Dan realizes that this stranger just might be his soulmate.

A pastel!dan and punk!phil soulmate au (ao3) - ashjj

Summary:  Whatever you write or draw on your body appears on your soulmates body.

Art Box (ao3) - blushing_phan

Summary:  Phil Lester is nearly 30 and has never known the color of his own eyes.

Artificial Soulmates (ao3) - getadog

Summary: “I don’t think the world decides if that person is perfect for you. I think you decide it and the world gives you it’s stamp of approval.” Dan shrugged “Or at least that’s how I see it.”Or a soulmate au where once you fall in love with your perfect match you gain a tattoo that symbolizes you and when you get married you switch soulmarks.

blending reality (ao3) - phannypack

Summary:  Dan sleeps a lot because his dreams are prettier than reality. [AU where Dan and Phil meet in each other’s dreams]

Blue (ao3) - killingaesthetically

Summary:  Dan hasn’t been able to see the color blue for his entire life. Nobody can see the color of their soulmate’s eyes until they and their soulmate touch. Dan has been longing to see the sky and the ocean, but he never really expects it to happen. But then he meets a boy who changes his entire world.

Boys Like Boys Like Girls Do (ao3) - kuramaswifey

Summary:  Soulmate AU where at 21 people have the initials of their soulmate on their bodies somewhere. Alec is gay, he knows this, he is also dating a woman because it keeps his family off his back. It just happens to work in his favor that she and his actual soulmate share the same initials. It just so happens that she doesn’t have her tattoo yet either so life is good. Except that she’s terrible and he just met this cute guy and his friend Dan is very deaf and has a crush on this very not deaf internet celebrity and he said he would help and… his life is just a little bit of a mess but whose isn’t?

Everything, and you know it’s true (ao3) - c0vicomun

Summary:  And that’s the reason I know the time is now; his name on the tv screen is shining and I almost can’t believe it, but at the same time it makes a whole lot of sense, ‘cause obviously I wasn’t going to meet him again at a new job or some freaking fancy meal: he was not a daily bread.

Glow (ao3) - too_weird_to_live

Summary:  Afraid of being bullied at his school, Dan Howell hides his true self behind his 'bad boy’ mask. But what happens when someone is forced to take it off, and Dan doesn’t want it to happen in case he gets rejected?

In Dreams (You Will Lose Your Heartache) (ao3) - howdoesonewrite

Summary:  Prompt: Soulmate AU where soulmates can appear in your dreams, but Dan’s too shy to say hello until Phil has a nightmare. (Or several nightmares, and after a few Dan finally builds up the courage to help out.)

[Insert Cheesy/Barely Creative Title Here] (AKA I have no idea) (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary:  Soul Bonds were a rare thing. Some people didn’t even think they really existed. Dan was one of those people- Come on, two people suddenly having an emotional connection that was a little bit more than natural? Please. Phil had always thought the idea was something really cool, something that he wished would happen to him. Dan’s world gets flipped upside down and sideways when he runs into Phil, and Phil finds out that it isn’t all sunshine and rainbows.

Out of Time (ao3) - DarkEyedDreamer

Summary:  Dan is watching in horror as his timer goes down. He’s meant to meet his soulmate in less than a few minutes. He should be excited, but in this zombie ridden world his soulmate is probably long dead.

Oneiric (ao3) - Malteaser24

Summary:  'of or relating to dreams’

Pixelated World Without You (ao3) - Star4545

Summary:  People are pretty much trapped in a sim like world until they meet there soulmate. Ever since Dan turned ten, he lived in this world, and hadn’t been able to find his soulmate till one faithful day.

Polaroid Prince (ao3) - CelestialYuuri

Summary: Prompt: “A world where your reflection does not show you, but your soul mate. You have no way of seeing who you are unless it is a picture taken of you, any reflection, in glass, water, anything, only shows the person you’re destined to be with. Only until the day you meet will your reflection show yourself.” -@falloutfangirl-9 on TumblrDan Howell has had the reflection of an auburn-haired individual for as long as he can remember. As he’s growing up with the reflection, he notices how much it changes and how much he changes as well.

Rainbow Wrist (ao3) - saverockandbeebo

Summary:  In which Dan’s determined to find his chameleon-haired soulmate.

Soulmate One Shots (ao3) - Panic_at_the_soiree

Summary:  Dan and Phil are soulmates, drawn to each other in every lifetime and universe. But they’re also destined to die for each other or because of each other in every lifetime.

The Fault In Our Skin (ao3) - Cat

Summary: A bunch of irregular soulmate AUs dedicated to being told that you’ll never find happiness and finding it anyway.“Look, I know you’re 'trying to find happiness’ and all, but it’s just not going to happen. Not to people like you.”

Together Forever (ao3) - Stella1000

Summary:  In a world where soulmates bear marks of each other’s eye color, two boys find each other and never let go.

Wing beneath my wings (ao3) - Just_Call_Me_Charles

Summary:  AU wingfic, where soulmates have corresponding wing patterns. Dan and Phil finally compare wings, only to open a whole new bucket of worms.

theboyfromtazmily  asked:

Hello! Sorry if you've covered this a lot, I was just wondering - do you have any guides you'd recommend to a beginner in pixel art? Also, any guides on getting into game development? (mainly the programming side of it) Again, sorry if you've covered it and/or these asks sound demanding.

Hmmn, I can help a little bit! Buckle up.

The guide that I think is the most useful is not actually a guide for pixel art. It talks about using colors and using light sources.

There are a lot of different styles of pixel art, and I think that most of the time it is safe to say that a pixel art style is defined by its rules. Rules create consistency. Consistency creates immersive work.

We can use Starbound’s pixel art style as a simple example of how to create art that has rules. Starbound’s wiki actually has a guide set up to help people create their own assets, but it misses a few important details.

Some (but not all) of the rules that many starbound pixel art pieces use:

1. Most of the objects in starbound are drawn so that you can see the front corner of an object. Here’s an example:

The back half of an object rotated this way usually takes up about 25% of the width of the object. If you look at the other tables, chairs,and props in the game, you’ll see that most of them follow the 25% corner rule.

2. Most of the objects in starbound use a 4-tone palette. The 4 shades of brown used for the wood of this object are the same shades of brown that they use for most other wooden things. The four shades of yellow come from their brass palette. Consistency with colors can be very helpful if you use it correctly.

3. Starbound’s light source is always top-right. Every piece of art in the game is shaded as though there was a single white light to the top-right of the art.

So with all of this in mind, if we take a look at my art for Cat Story, we’ll see a few differences from Starbound’s style.

Using Cat Story’s art style, most objects are drawn with a camera angle directly from the front. The 25% corner rule does not exist in Cat Story. 

The light source in Cat Story is usually from the top-left… even if there are lights in the room. 

Most of the time, I use colors from the 6bit RGB palette.

Some styles of pixel art don’t need to limit which colors are used. My style uses these colors as a general guideline, but sometimes I lighten or darken colors from this palette to give myself a few extra colors to work with, like the background wallpaper in the room above.

This color palette has a lot more color saturation than the palettes used in Starbound’s art, which is why it doesn’t really mesh that great when you recolor your Starbound character using this palette. 

Looks weird and out of place, right?

If you adjust the color levels in the image by a tiny amount, it becomes very very easy to see just how much more saturated Cat Story’s colors actually are!

What happens when we put art from Starbound into a screenshot from Cat Story? Well, it looks very out of place, because it follows different rules for color, size, shape, and shading.

Sometimes, rules get more abstract. Cat Story also uses rules for color heat. Thinking about colors relative to their distance from white or black, with white being the hottest color and black being the coolest color offers some insight into interesting color relationships.

Remember that 6bit RGB palette? This is what it looks like when you take the color away and only look at the heat:

Color heat is a tool that you can use to direct the viewer’s eye to important pieces of your art. 

I try to make the character one of the brightest objects on the screen so that they are easy to see for the player. 

The next brightest things are usually terrain that you can walk on or objects that you can interact with.

The darkest objects are background props.

Obviously, sometimes it’s appropriate to make exceptions to make a piece of art look more interesting! I have many brightly lit windows in the underground city maps in Cat Story - but I try to keep them small and unobtrusive when I can.

It also helps a lot if you make your enemies easy to see.

Rules and color choice are only the beginning of defining an art style with pixel art. 

Some people prefer super low resolution artwork ( @thewakingcloak ), and others prefer comparatively massive canvases ( @shmoopdev ) . 

Some people use 3D models to give themselves a better frame of reference for their pixel art. )

Some people use dithering ( @lazymoth - check out their creepycastle project ) to shade and create gradients, other ( @virgovsthezodiac ) people ( @ramheadedgirl ) prefer ( @preecedev ) flat  ( @artificerdev ) shading styles.

Anyway I’ve spent an hour or two longer than I expected on this reply, so let’s move on to the other half of your question.

How do you get into game programming?

It depends on what language you want to program in. Personally, my hammer of choice for game development is C++.

There are a lot of different places to start if you’re brand new, but no matter what programming language you want to use, you need to know some programming basics.

This is the resource that was most useful for me to begin programming games in C++. Shoutouts to Lazyfoo!

Websites like stackexchange / stackoverflow also help a lot when learning basics of programming. 

What are some things that are important to know if you want to program your own games?

Learn how to do things using timers. If you attempt to do huge amounts of stuff all at the same time, it is often more complicated than simply doing a little bit of work once per frame. Breaking up your workload with timers often helps performance, too.

Start with a small project, like clicking on a colored dot for points. I thought a platformer would be easy and I’m here 3 years later still trying to finish what I started. Do not attempt to build some enormous MMO as your first project, that is a bad idea; speaking from experience here.

Learn to keep your code clean. Comment everything even if it’s obvious what it does, because 5 weeks from now it won’t be obvious anymore.

Learn the difference between public and private variables/functions and use them appropriately so you don’t trip yourself later on accident. That’s the reason those safeguards exist - to help you not accidentally use the wrong tools.

You are going to need to be able to understand math relationships. The computer will do the heavy lifting for you, but you need to understand the formulas and why they work. Basic things like moving from point A to point B, which looks like this:

new_position = old_position + normal( destination - old_position ) * movement_speed

 Thankfully, most of these math relationships are very easy to use once you understand them. Now is a good time to brush up on your trig.

If you’re going into gamedev in C++, learning how pointers and references work is non-negotiable.

Some other notes: 

A lot of helpful code libraries are out there on the internet that are designed specifically for making games. Most of these helpful libraries are free for you to do anything you want with them. SDL2 is my weapon of choice, but there are many other options available that might be better for what you want to do.

Sometimes it is appropriate to use tools like GameMaker or RPG Maker to make a game. Sometimes it isn’t. It is useful to know how to use these tools, and it is also useful to know how to get your hands dirty and do it yourself.

Lots of games have basic programming included! You can learn a lot about how programming basics work from reverse engineering objects in Garry’s mod, SecondLife, Starbound, and plenty of other places.

There are hotwings on my desk that need my attention.
Hopefully this is more helpful than “Practice a lot and also google some stuff”


“Rejection”; Chapter One

NOTE: As much as I LOVE Frans, this fanfiction is going to be a Reader x Sans. Hints of Undyne x Alphys will be mentioned in later chapters (as that’s pretty much canon). I have no idea what the schedule will be for uploading new chapters, since I’ve already typed out about 30 lengthy chapters! There will be NO Papyrus x Mettaton; sorry! Not really my thing. But in other words, enjoy!



It was a windy, snowy day outside. Snowdin was colder than usual, but the monsters who inhabited it didn’t seem to mind. The colorful Christmas lights twinkled with cheer, and the “stars” above shone brightly. As little monster children ran about throughout the town square by the large decorated tree with presents lying underneath, you sat on the dark green couch of Sans and Papyrus’s home.

Papyrus was off doing training with Undyne, and God knows where Sans is. That skeleton really was a mystery. Knowing him, you thought glumly, he’s probably at Grillby’s again. You didn’t mind the quiet; it gave you time to think. Not too long before you fell into the Underground, you had confessed your love for a boy who’s name will not be mentioned. His rejection stung harder than it should’ve, but you couldn’t help but believe that in someway you might have acted…desperate towards him.

You sighed, and glanced around the home. It was small, but cozy. A mini kitchen stretched out across the room to your right, and a TV sat in front of you. You didn’t turn it on; most of the channels were about Mettaton anyways. That self-obsessed celebrity would just make you feel worse, since all he talked about was flirting and promoting his brand.

There was spaghetti on the wooden table nearby, but it was already cold. A rock covered in glitter sat next to it, as well as a sock on the floor with nearly 15 sticky notes piled on top. A flight of stairs was to your left, which lead up to Papyrus and Sans’s bedrooms. The door to Papyrus’s room read, “NO GIRLS ALLOWED! OR BOYS. ONLY PAPYRUS.” You smiled weakly at the adorable skeleton’s innocent behavior, but it faded away quickly. Rainbow lights and a odd feeling pulsed out of Sans’ room. You already knew what was in there, even though you’d never actually gone into the room.

The same goes for knowing Toriel, Flowey, the skelebros, Undyne and Alphys. None of them had met you before, but you knew them. You knew them all too well. See, Frisk is still around. And they are their own person. But you still couldn’t wrap your brain around how you wound up here in the first place. After all, “Undertale” is a video game. You’ve played it before. How could you possibly BE here?

Perhaps on “the surface”, you were in such a bad emotional state that it was strong enough to break reality itself, resulting in the travel into the world of code and pixels. But that couldn’t happen. Can’t it? You were certain that the heartache you felt wasn’t powerful enough bring you here. But then again… How did I get here? Do I have super-powers? Or is it just my copy of the game? You thought hard, perplexed.

You placed a hand over where your heart would be, and drew out your soul. It was unique, and very intriguing to the few monsters who saw it. You looked closely into it, and saw all the memories of your entire time in the Underground; plus shortly before. You saw him… the boy who broke your heart. But his face flashed away instantly, being replaced by your family and friends. A scene of you meeting Frisk and Toriel played, and you smiled weakly. Frisk seemed to have a hunch of what was going on, with you being brand new to the game. Not once in any timeline ever did you appear. Which is why, you guess, she is reluctant to reset.

Ah yes, resets. The topic that two- now three- people knew about in the Underground. Frisk was the one who did all the resetting, but was she really? Because, weren’t you Frisk back in the real world playing Undertale? Or were you merely allowing your mind to make it think that? All along, Frisk had been their own being. And so was…Chara. But what does that make you? An onlooker? Or a player? This whole thing was as confusing as trying to understand Gast-

Suddenly, the thought left without a trace. Wait, what was I thinking about again? You leaned back on the couch, and realized that your soul was still beaming brightly in front of your chest. The current images flowing by like the breeze outside were about you first meeting Sans. How you freaked out, knowing that your most absolute-favorite-character of the game was standing right in front of you.

But… your heart had stopped. Your mind went on the run, and fear consumed you. His figure, blackened by shadow, was WAY more intimidating when you’re actually there in front of him rather than just looking at a screen. His words still remain swimming around in the depths of your mind, and the image of how you were petrified by his seriousness. You still didn’t know why, since you knew it was him and he was only here to greet himself and give you a delightfully funny handshake.

Right, the handshake. You watched yourself through the large soul before you take his hand joyfully and practically squeal from relief and pure happiness. You cringed from afar as you drew the big boned skeleton into a bear hug, and began to cry in his arms. You wanted to slap yourself, as a wave of loathing washed over your head. This is why he rejected you. Because you are too desperate. Look, even Sans is confused and doesn’t know how to react! Idiot.

But… You argued internally, he’s never met me before. If I were Frisk, or any of the previous 7 souls, I’m sure he would’ve known what to do. After all, he’s used to the resets and different timelines. So, obviously, when this is the first timeline where I show up, he’s gonna be baffled. You forced the conclusion of the argument, and reluctantly finished watching the cringeful scenario. Again, you smiled weakly when Sans grinned ever so slightly and gently, barely, placed his hands around your back.

The next channel of emotions flicked through immediately, and you saw Papyrus introducing you to his puzzles and Sans cracking jokes awkwardly along the way. You laughed at every one of them, and were sure that Sans was surprised. Frisk, after all, never really let out more than a chuckle in their first run of the game. But, after a couple hundred resets, you figured they got used to it. Who knows, you may be completely wrong, since you were quite certain that something fishy was going on with the whole idea that Frisk has always been their own being rather than you controlling them.

An electrocuted Papyrus here, a Nice Cream guy there. “Junior Jumble” here, and a bridge of mortal terror there. As you peered over the side, your eyes cast upon the vast, thick forest below. Vertigo surge up through you stomach, and you clutched the railings warily. When was the last time I’d eaten something warm? You thought, recalling the Nice Cream man’s cold snack. It’s not like that helped the frostbite you had most likely gotten on your legs. Staring at your soul, you shivered and instinctively covered your bare legs.

When you had “fallen” into the game, you were wearing nothing more than the attire you had outside your laptop. A T-shirt, short-shorts, and black Nike sneakers. Thankfully you weren’t too depressed that you did your hair in the morning. You wore it up into a ponytail when you had first met Flowey in the crumbled Ruins, but now you wore it down to try and keep your neck somewhat warm. Snowflakes dotted your wavy curls, and also your freaking-long eyelashes. Your huge “nerd” glasses were steamed up, and your fingers were blue from the frozen treat earlier. And frostbite.

Thankfully, Papyrus let you off easy on that puzzle. You knew that he felt bad about the difficulty, and decided to keep it safe for Undyne later. Perhaps that was what he was doing today. You sighed on the couch, thinking about the battles you had to go through on your journey. You’re not a very determined person, so you really had to watch your health. Certainly Frisk was aware of that when she started putting the pieces together; so she made sure to give you extra healing items such as a “Manly Bandana” and “Healing Bandages”. You had used the bandages a long time ago, back when you were just greeted by Papyrus. The Ruin’s monsters weren’t too bad; they were just souls who needed a good pep talk.

You knew from the moment you woke up on those golden bed of flowers you could go through a Pacifist or Genocide run. But, being too amazed that you were actually in Undertale, you decided right away to go Pacifist. Let me tell you, Flowey was not happy about that. He thought that finally meeting a new human, along with already having Frisk, that he could force evil into you. After all, that’s what Chara needs in order to posses a vessel. Hatred, LOVE, and determination. You had none of those.

Your eyes stung and watered from the fright of seeing Flowey in person; without a thought, Papyrus appeared once more inside of your multi-colored soul. A human girl like you could only take so much cold; so you can imagine how exhausted, beaten, and freezing you were when you crossed that bridge to follow Sans and Paps.

You could feel his eyes- er, eye sockets- studying you, from your physical form to all the EXP you’d earned. Sans was the “Judgement” monster; he could see right through one’s lies. It was one of his many, many talents. You watched as your body thumped onto the ground, and passed out cold. Sans’ reaction was actually a little stunning; he called for his younger brother, and pointed to you. Papyrus freaked out, and hoisted your limp appendages into his arms, and from there carried you to Snowdin.

Even while asleep, your soul picked up on what was happening around you. Monsters all through the town looked on from a distance as the tallest skeleton was carrying a nearly-dead human to his humble abode. The shorter skeleton wouldn’t rip his eyes away from her, and had his hands shoved into his blue jacket’s pockets. Alas, business carried on like usual, since the monsters were all very much used to Frisk. However, a indescribable tension hung faintly in the air as everyone realized another human was in the Underground, never to escape.

Never to escape… You thought drearily, and glanced out the window. The storm picked up throughout the time you had started pondering; you worried for the skelebros. They were being so kind to a stranger, unlike what humans in the real world would do. The real world… Memories of your rejection and your family all came surging back to you at once. Suddenly, an urge to cry sprang up to your face; figuring that Sans and Paps wouldn’t be home for another good hour, you let your wet tears stream down your cheeks.

The soul in front of you stopped playing scenes from your time in the Underground, and faded back into its normal opaque color. Well, colors. That’s the weird thing about your soul; it wasn’t just one personality trait. All the human children that fell from the surface had one trait, which determined the color of their soul. They were light blue, dark blue, yellow, orange, purple, green and of course red. Those stood for patience, integrity, justice, courage, perseverance, kindness, and determination. In that order.

Again, how did you know all this? Well, Undertale is a game. It was meant for entertainment purposes, and of which means that it could be dissected piece by piece to find all of its history and facts. You knew all this game’s secrets like the back of you hand, but now that you’re here you felt like a lot more from the files will soon appear and have a need to be found. After all, this has never happened before. And since you have no knowledge about this timeline, you will remain naive and not know how to escape. You will remain here forever, never seeing your family again.

But really… How bad could it be? You have friends down here, even if they don’t know it. You haven’t even met half of the game’s characters yet, and you already feel home. Maybe since I kinda am home, you thought. Papyrus gets really attached to strangers really quickly, which was the complete opposite of Sans. But, it seems that Sans has already started trusting you. Well, he kinda already saw into your soul and noted how you have no LOVE, EXP, or HP. LOVE… “Level Of ViolencE”. Really nice way to trick Frisk, Flowey. You sneered, and shook your head dismissively. EXP… “EXecution Points”. And… HP? What’s that again? “HoPe”? It would make sense, since you don’t really have hope, either.

You sniffled pathetically, and brought your knees closer to your chest. Your heart glowed a deep blue, which you could quickly tell meant sadness. Some trees tapped wildly against the glass, which made you flinch. You looked around the first floor again, and landed on the sink. It was practically 10 feet tall, so Papyrus could fit more under it. The Annoying Dog wouldn’t be hiding under there, like normal, since he was asleep up in Sans’ room. You didn’t need to go up there to check; you just knew.

A loud bang made you jump about 3 feet into the air; you whipped your head over to the front door.


Chapter Ten (Where all the chapters before that are.)

✪Break Up Spread✪

First off, this spread is huge. This post is going to be huge. I normally don’t read with more than three cards, but honestly this is a topic that can’t be covered in three cards. I found this spread very helpful with my recent break up, and would love if someone else would give it a go and let me know how it worked for you. This isn’t necessarily for a romantic relationship, but a partnership of any kind. Now, on to the spread!

1: Who they where at the start of the relationship

2: Who you where at the start of the relationship

3: What worked

4: What they learned from the relationship

5: What you learned from the relationship

6: What didn’t work

7: What you both can do better next time

8: Who they where at the end.

9: Who you where at the end

10: What you should work on

11: What they should work on

12: What’s next for you

13: What’s next for them

So, I did this reading for myself and here are my results.

Keep reading

so uh I haven’t touched this blog for a while but I wanted to describe the most terrifying experience of my fucking life that happened while playing Subnautica

few clarifications: I last played this game like, September 2016. IT HAS UPDATED SIGNIFICANTLY SINCE THEN. I also decided to play it on “creative mode” aka “invincible fun time mode” because I just wanted to ~have fun and explore the new stuff~, you know?

So, I haven’t kept up with the updates. The story bit of the game has bulked up significantly since I last played, and there’s much more direction now if you want it, which is nice; the icons are all cleaned up and such, a lot more stuff is textured, the cyclops can apparently be lit on fire, yada yada. I went ‘sploring and found a couple new faces, an electric eel type boy and a warp warp man. (Ultimate goal is to go up and scan a reaper but I am still???? too scared??? i literally cannot take any damage in this mode but the deep and ancient part of me that remembers being prey on the serengeti says DONT)

(subnautica is very good at VAGUE ANXIOUS ENVIRONMENTAL FEAR while also being very lovely to look at, and really grinds deep into the gray matter of Terror of the Deep, it’s very very good and I hatelove it)

anyway I started taking screenshots of the koosh zone while exploring/picking up samples for my soon-to-be-ultimate-creature-zoo, because this game can be very pretty

anyway after digging around a bit i discovered a TRENCH. i did not screenshot the trench because i did not realize i was about to have to fight for my very existence on this good earth.

did i enter the trench? of course I entered the fucking trench. there’s no crush damage in this mode and the game told me there was some sort of Big Energy Signature nearby. Down I went.

….and went. For 6000 meters. NOTHING. Except a kind of shelf at one point that I went and got under. (this minor detail is going to be crucial)

anyway at 6km i decided fuck it, i’ve held down on the s key for like 5 minutes, if i’m gonna plumb these depths i need to come back with my big boy sub. so i went back up. got to 3000 meters.

hey remember that little shelf i went under well turns out it was a ROCK CEILING 3000 METERS DEEP and i had gotten so turned around in the plumbing process that I couldnt fucking find the way out, it was all barren rock ceiling, no way back up even when i searched around and around and probably criscrossed my own path trying to map out featureless rock, i was boned as heck

OR…. WAS I….

said my own thoughts, because i happened to have in my possession a TERRAFORMER and as all good subnautica boys and girls know that thing can dig big ol holes in rock.

so… trapped 3000 meters below solid rock… i did what any sensible extrastellar refugee would do and decided to TUNNEL MY WAY BACK UP

leaving my trusty seamoth behind, i began to tunnel…. about 2000 meters through solid rock, in complete blackness, clicking frantically in the darkness, probably crying

(listen, i had some good eggs and scans in my inventory and i didn’t want to LOSE them by resetting, you gotta understand)

about 1km from the surface, i finally encounter open water!! i’ve done it!! i thought, foolishly, to myself. i brought out my seaglide and began to zoom up only to find

1. this was not open water

2. this was a cave

3. this was a giant cave filled with lava

4. subnautica has LAVA CAVES NOW???

5. the game was perhaps not totally sure about my method of getting INTO said lava cave, and didn’t seem prepared with some of the textures

by the way, IN ADDITION TO IT BEING A GIANT LAVA CAVE, there were like… structures down there?? which again I was not prepared for because I have not played this game in like 6 months?? but the textures wouldn’t load?? so I just got these really scary ominous unknown pieces of architecture that i was in no way prepared for and had no idea how they were supposed to look?? and everything was red?????

also because the textures weren’t loaded it was extremely difficult to tell what you could pass through and what you couldn’t, so i was basically ping ponging through invisible walls and wanting to cry because i tunneled 2000 meters thru solid rock and i was gonna die in badly rendered hell anyway

did i mention also, the noises

did i mention that there were a lot of VERY DISTRESSING SOUND EFFECTS IN THIS CAVE

and then, through the invisible walls, i saw the friend who was making them!!!

it’s hard to tell from this screenshot but that is a VERY. LARGE. BOY. TOO LARGE.

at this point ya boy koryos was basically like ready 2 ascend from this mortal plane. what is going on. WHAT AM I LOOKING AT. VERY DISTRESSED. ALSO WHATS THT THING IN THE CORNER

ok so i stopped trying to penetrate the invisible walls eventually and tried to burrow my way out again except APPARENTLY you cant burrow through LAVA which was STUPID anyway i was still very trapped

but i explored a bit and found……. this??

insert fuel crystal???

this mystery device bore all the hallmark of a Lazy Concept Sci Fi Warp Gate which was exciting to me because by god i was ready to be anywhere but there, in hell. but i didnt have a “fuel crystal” and it definitely wasn’t part of the game back in the center. But no problem!! This is creative mode!! I can just build a base down in hell!! A hell base!! Where I can craft anything I want!!!

so i made a base and a fabricator but uhhhhhhhhhhh there was no “fuel crystal” on the item list. so at this point it had been like an hour of desperate sweaty anxiety and i was like fuck it, i’ll console command it in, i just need…… freedom…… (without losing any of those good good scans)

anyway i looked it up and got the ~oddly pixelated crystal~, which powered up the warp

please… just take me somewhere that’s not red… that’s all i ask……





anyway i believe i accidentally stumbled on some plot because i found a “control room” set to deactivate the “weapon” but a tentacle boy didn’t want to “deactivate” it because i was “““infected”““

mind you im still fucking… 69 m under the water…. 69 huh? i just noticed that in the screenshot nice


anyway to make a long story short after getting lost about ten more times i FINALLY found an exit to the neon labyrinth and nearly cried when i saw my bud warp warp man outside

now that i was outside i could finally appreciate the fact that this shit was dope as hell, look at how cool that is, I LOVE MYSTICAL RUINS AND SHIT LIKE THIS

also it was connected to an island???? i thought subnautica was all about not having land???? anyway let’s just drop a beacon for later i need to get back to my fucking base and lie down to contemplate the ether for 6 hours



and so i survived the incident in which i was never in any actual peril, both in a real and virtual sense, but was still very distraught and very sweaty about, 10/10 would recommend subnautica to a friend

anyway i went on tumblr to soothe myself afterwards which was a MISTAKE because the monteray bay aquarium reminded me that there is no escape from the eldritch horrors of the ocean


Who wants some dumb “The past Sportaci/future Sportarobbie″ headcanons????

No one? Well too bad, you’re getting them anyway!

- Sportacus isn’t so much a name as it is a title, passed down from one person to the next

- Each Sportacus chooses a child to mentor in their ways of eating sportscandy and staying active, so that when they retire they have someone to fill the position for them

- #9 was Sportacus’ mentor (whether number 9 was Sport’s father or not is up to you), and he looked very much like #10 Sportacus, except his outfit was yellow and red (like in the stage musical)

- The crystal is also handed down, and it has been the same crystal that all the Sportaci have used since #1

- Each Sportacus has their own unique attribute. Where #10 is extremely gifted at acrobatics, #9 was the fastest out of any of them

- #8 was the toughest (almost no one/nothing could injure them)

- #7 was the most flexible

- #6 was the kindest (yes, somehow a person existed that was kinder than #10; they never got upset and they believed in giving everyone a second, and even third, chance)

- #5 was the wisest (they knew everything having to do with physical activity, such as how the circulatory and respiratory systems worked; some believed that before #5 became Sportacus they were studying to become a doctor)

- #4 was the best at actual sports (they’d never lose a game, and could make any goal/basket with their eyes blindfolded)

- #3 was the healthiest (unlike #10 they made sure to eat food other than sportscandy, such as vegetables and meats, so that they had a well-balanced diet. They also understood that exercise is important, but that it’s also important to take a break and relax a bit so that you maintain your mental health as well. It is said that #3 lived to be over 100 years old)

- #2 was the happiest (NOTHING could upset them, and in turn they never wanted anyone around them to be upset either. Legend says that when #2 died they wrote in their will that instead of a funeral they wanted everyone to throw a “They Lived a Full Life” party, where they could only talk about the happy memories and everyone in attendance had to wear bright colors instead of black)

- #1 was the strongest, but only when it came to objects they created themselves, specifically mallets. #1 could lift and swing around a mallet that was the same size and weight of a person without breaking a sweat. However #1 was also the most short-lived Sportacus. They retired extremely early and simply vanished. No one knows what happened to them. Most believe #1 died a long time ago, others believe that they still live, hiding somewhere.

- Robbie is #1, hence his song “We are Number One”

- He’s managed to live for so long because he’s a freaking genius, and has invented gadgets to keep him young. It’s estimated that Robbie is almost 900 years old

- Robbie HATES the fact that he was once Sportacus. It wasn’t his intention to discover a crystal that went off whenever someone in the immediate vicinity was in trouble, or then proceed to save said person, or then be declared a “hero” by the townspeople and given the name “Sportacus” (or “Íþróttaálfurinn”, as he was called back then)

- So he went underground in an attempt to escape his past, which is why he so adamantly despises the other Sportaci, and why he tries to run them out of town. He hates the fact that it’s because of HIM that this permanent nuisance exists, encouraging everyone to be active and healthy.

- #2 wasn’t really Robbie’s pupil. #2 started the whole “mentor/student” tradition when it comes to Sportaci, but they actually became Sportacus when they discovered the crystal that Robbie had thrown out (the damn thing kept beeping and it was driving Robbie crazy)

- #10 discovered that Robbie was #1 when he was returning an unconcious Robbie (who had knocked himself out cold while attempting to pull off his latest scheme) back to his lair and saw in one of the costume tubes #1′s original outfit

- Sportacus was in total awe and disbelief and waited until Robbie came to before asking him, in his polite fashion, “WHAT THE HELL WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME YOU WERE #1 WE ALL THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD!?”

- Robbie explains that he never wanted to be Sportacus and how he’s been using technology to keep himself alive so that he can try and eventually rid the world of Sportacus once and for all

- Sport then asks “Well, why don’t you get rid of me now?”

- Robbie has to face the fact that he’s grown fond of this current Sportacus and actually wants to be with him (whether in a platonic or romantic sense is up to you, but come on, I think we all know that those two are hella gay for each other)

- Sportcus reveals that he wants to be with Robbie as well

- After this things don’t really change that much, except that Robbie’s “evil plans” become much more tame and are more of a minor nuisance than an actual threat to the townspeople, since he’s not really trying to get rid of Sportacus anymore (however he can’t give up his evil schemes all together because he’s a villain, after all; what else is he suppose to do????)

- *this is for the Sportarobbie route, and pretty much the rest of the bullet points are going to be Sportarobbie from this point on* Also Robbie and Sportacus officially become a couple, to the surprise of no one

- Robbie stops using his tech to keep him young, since he now has plans to become an old man with Sportacus

- Sportacus pushes his bedtime from 8:08 to 9:00 so that he and Robbie can go on dates after everyone else is asleep, so that way his crystal won’t interrupt them during their movie/dinner/make out session

- Robbie buys a larger bed so that he and Sportacus can sleep in the same bed together and cuddle. Sport has offered to do the same thing for his airship but Robbie shoots the idea down immediately, saying that his phobia of heights will keep him from getting a good night’s sleep up in Sportacus’ airship

- Sportacus doesn’t really understand Robbie’s fear of being high up because it seems to come and go, but he doesn’t question it. He’s fine with doing whatever makes Robbie comfortable, and if that means sleeping over in his lair then so be it (he really doesn’t mind though; the kids may find the underground hideout creepy, but Sport thinks it’s kind of cozy, especially with Robbie there by his side)

- Robbie also pushes aside his workbench to make room for an area where Sportacus can keep his sport/exercise equipment

- They basically make a home for themselves in Robbie’s lair, which comes to be known as “Robbie’s (and Sportacus’) home”

- The two also start sneaking kisses from each other when the kids aren’t looking and holding hands while walking around town and celebrating Valentines Day together by giving one another gifts (A bouquet of sportscandy and a loving letter for Sportacus, and a box of chocolates and a teddy bear dressed in a miniature version of Robbie’s suit for Robbie) and dressing in couples costumes for Halloween and kissing under the miseltoe/at the stroke of midnight during Christmas/New Years and basically just being all cute and couple-y and junk <3

- It’s about a year after they start dating that Sportacus and Robbie decide to get married

- Miss Busybody plans and decorates for the wedding; Mayor Meanswell officiates; Ziggy is the ring-bearer (and yes, he’s allowed to wear his superhero costume); Stephanie is the flower girl; Stingy has his dad rent out a hotel ballroom for the reception (I’m willing to bet there’s at least one hotel in Lazy Town, even though no one ever seems to come to visit); Trixie DJs at the reception; Pixel works the lights and puts together a video montage of all the cute Sportacus/Robbie moments that were captured throughout the past few years (A majority of the photos/videos of are Sportacus saving Robbie, at which point while viewing it everyone lovingly laughs and Robbie buries his quickly reddening face in to the crook of Sportacus’ neck as Sport turns his head and kisses Robbie’s forehead, reminding him that he’ll always be there to save him)

- Robbie and Sportacus remain in Lazy Town as husband and husband for about 10 years. By this point the kids are grown up and new people haved moved in to the town with children of their own

- It is at this point that Sportacus announces to the town that he and Robbie are leaving, with plans to travel the world until their old age

- Naturally everyone is sad to hear that they’re leaving, but they respect their decision and wish them the best; both Robbie and Sportacus promise to come back and visit every now and again

- It is at this time that Sportacus goes up to Stephanie specifically and hands her a small, wrapped package

- Stephanie opens it to find that it’s Sportacus’ crystal, but now with the number 11 on it instead of 10

- “Sportacus, what-” “You are Sportacus now, Stephanie”

- Robbie gives her his lair to use as her “base of operations”, since he and Sportacus are going to be using the airship to travel the globe. She may do whatever she wishes with it, but under no circumstances is she allowed to paint it pink

- (Oh, and for those of you who may be concerned that this upsets Ziggy, don’t be; he grew out of his superhero admiration phase a while ago and now has plans to open up a candy shop that sells healthy candy made using honey and reduced sugar and no artificial colors/flavors)

- Robbie and Sportacus say one last goodbye to the residents before leaving Lazy Town in the capable hands of #11

anonymous asked:

HC for how RFA male members would react to MC getting pregnant?

HC request for how the RFA members are as parents??

What would RFA members name their children (you can choose genders of the children)

I’m putting these together because they’re kind of similar. Like the way they react is gonna show how they will be as parents, ya know. Idk. Also, this got long fast so sorry about that.


  • Zen is at rehearsal (what’s new???)
  • Director gets a call and steps away for a minute
  • Director comes back and tells everyone to take ten
  • Zen goes to get some water and rehydrate
  • Zen receives a call from none other than MC
  • Zen answers and is like “Hey sweetheart, you got lucky. We just got to go on a quick break. Miss me already?”
  • MC is like “yeah i know you’re on a break. That’s why i called”
  • “I have news. Like life changing news”
  • Zen freaks a bit because he’s super confused???
  • Zen is like “What happened? Are you okay??”
  • MC just giggles and says “there’s gonna be a little Zen/MC around in a few months”
  • Zen is ecstatic
  • Just the thought of another him running around is great to him
  • He screams “WERE HAVING A BABY???!!!”
  • MC just giggles
  • Director is like “okay time’s up leggo”
  • Zen tells MC once again how happy he is and that he loves her and hangs up
  • Director just laughs at Zen because it was MC calling asking if they could speak to Zen.
  • Zen is like “What’s so funny”
  • Director just says congrats and tells everyone to return to the stage
  • Zen realises MC planned this out and is super appreciative of them
  • Once he gets home from rehearsal he runs to MC and ((carefully)) picks her up and spins her around in a circle
  • Once the baby comes, Zen wants to be the first to hold them
  • even though the baby usually goes to the mom first 
  • Zen does whatever it takes to make sure Zen Jr has whatever he wants
  • also pushes Zen Jr to becoming a musical actor, as well
  • go figure
  • whenever Zen Jr needs help with something, Zen is right on top of that shit


  • Seven is in the middle of hacking something.
  • No one actually knows what he’s ever hacking
  • They just assume that’s what he is doing 24/7
  • Probably accurate
  • Except for their anniversary, which was a week ago
  • Seven made this day very special for MC because he knows she loves cheesy stuff like anniversaries and such
  • After their dinner, they continued the date in the bedroom
  • *a week has now passed and it is present day*
  • MC goes over to Seven
  • “Take a breeeaaak please. I have something important to tell you”
  • Seven just kind of grunts because he is busy
  • MC just kind of pulls the rolling chair away from Seven’s desk
  • “This is very important”
  • Seven is just like “okay okay okay what is it”
  • MC just grins and puts Seven’s hand on her tummy
  • Seven is like “what is this? Are you hungry? Are you hurt?”
  • He is blank-minded
  • MC is like “wowie this poor child better get my smarts because you are clueless”
  • Seven jumps up and screams “w hat!!”
  • MC giggles
  • Seven is super excited
  • “Can I teach them to hack like me” “I gotta pass this on” “They will be the best memer/hacker to exist’
  • “Minus me of course”
  • MC just laughs and says sure
  • Seven is sure to make sure 606 (Seven’s nickname for their daughter, Pixel) is just as good of a hacker and memer as he is
  • Seven is very protective of Pixel
  • Buys himself Pixel a cat for Christmas one year
  • They are the best of pals
  • Poor MC is left out so often


  • MC just decided to wrap herself around Yoosung from behind
  • MC whispers in his ear
  • “You want another person to teach LOLOL to?
  • Yoosung is like wut yes please who
  • MC spins Yoosung around and puts his hands on her tummy
  • “Meet baby Yoosung/MC”
  • Yoosung is like “woah what”
  • He never really imagined himself having a child so young
  • But he is still very excited to have a LOLOL partner
  • Yoosung teaches Ezreal (okay so this is a character from the actual LOL and they remind me of Yoosung appearance wise idk) how to play LOLOL instantly
  • These two will literally play LOLOL all day and just eat honey buddha chips (sparingly since Yoosung doesn’t have many bags)


  • Jumin comes home from work to find MC baking a small cake
  • Jumin is like “what are you doing now”
  • MC just ((very casually)) says “I gotta learn to bake birthday cakes for the baby”
  • Jumin is like “Oh o k”
  • But then he’s like “OH OKAY” once he realises what MC means
  • Jumin after a couple moments is like “why doesn’t Elizabeth 3rd get homemade cakes for her birthday”
  • MC is like “sorry but human child >>> you cat. Plus Elizabeth 3rd is your responsibility. Stop buying her new beds every year and learn to make a cake”
  • Jumin just stares
  • “Elizabeth loves her new beds. “
  • Eliza (named after Elizabeth 3rd) is spoiled like crazy by Jumin
  • Jumin tries to be a good father figure
  • He always looks to his father for advice because he views his father as being a good dad (minus being a womaniser obviously)
  • Jumin tries to see if Eliza would be a good heir to the company throne one day
  • she is
  • of course
  • she takes after her father
  • Jumin makes sure she is always dressed nicely and has the newest things
  • Makes her get a job at his company once she can so that she can learn responsibility and maturity at a young age
  • Eliza is a dog person woops


  • Jaehee and MC really want kids but it’s difficult for them because you cannot get pregnant by another female.
  • They decide to go the doctor’s and see about someone donating their sperm to MC so they can have a child
  • MC gets the procedure done and prays it works
  • She is too nervous to take pregnancy tests at first and Jaehee is too so she doesn’t try forcing MC to take them
  • About a month and a half and realising she doesn’t feel too great after the procedure, MC gathers the courage to take a pregnancy test
  • positive
  • She is so pumped
  • She goes to the coffee shop to share the news with Jaehee
  • Instantly Jaehee is like:
  • if it’s a girl, let’s name her Gevalia
  • if it’s a boy, let’s name him Maxwell
  • MC loves this idea because both names are inspired by coffee
  • Due date of the baby comes and it’s 
  • a girl
  • Gevalia grows up loved by both her moms
  • Jaehee shows Gevalia the different ways to make coffee as she grows up
  • Jaehee tries to give Gevalia advice on boys but isn’t great at it
  • Let’s Gevalia dress and act how she wants (within limits obviously)
  • plot twist: Gevalia is more of a tea person

feelingsinwinter replied to your post:I’m sleep deprived yet creatively charged with no…

I don’t have many ideas (some that are a bit too long for just a prompt or others I don’t know if you’d like) but… HP AU ? Or maybe, less seen and because I’m actually playing the game like the giant child I am : Pokemon AU ?

As for the ship… I’m all for Winteriron but since you’re searching something less usuall… WinterIronHawk? 8D

Unfortunately my experience with Harry Potter is quite limited, so HP fics are pretty much a no can do for me. 

I’ve never done a pokemon AU before but I wanted to give it a try. The story is still a little rough, but it’s there. I hope you like it. :)

“Don’t you think you’re spoiling her, Tony?” Bucky huffed out a chuckle as he shadow boxed with his hitmonchan.

It was a sunny day, and Bucky, Tony, and Clint had come across a crystal clear river right next to a bunch of berry bushes. It was the perfect place to rest for a bit and let their pokemon out to play.

While most of their pokemon were running around like kids on a sugar high while a few others were napping, Bucky, Clint, and Tony were trying to spend individual time with their pokemon as well.

Tony scoffed, combing his beloved eevee, who purred happily at his ministrations. “When you’ve raised an eevee then we’ll talk.” Tony smiled down at the eevee in his lap. He slid his fingers down her pointy ears and scratched where the ears met the skull. “Isn’t that right, Poly? Bucky has no idea how to properly care for an amazing pokemon such as yourself.”

“Oh brother,” Clint chimed in. He threw his purple frisbee high into the air.

His fearow crawed and took off after the disk.

“How the rest of your pokemon are not jealous, I will never know,” Clint said.

Tony grinned. He brought his fingers to his lips and whistled. “Growlie! Pixels!”

There was a bark and out from the bush jumped Growlie, Tony’s arcanine. Growlie wasted no time bounding over to Tony and head butting him in the back. Tony laughed and reached behind himself to rub Growlie’s head. “That’s my Growlie. Now where did you lead Pixels off to?”

There was a beeping noise and Pixels, a porygon, floated out from the brush and rested next to Tony.

Tony lay his hand on the Pixels’ head and gave it a few soft pats. Pixels prefered just being in Tony’s presence over being smothered with affection, unlike Poly who always wanted attention from Tony.

Poly nipped gently at Tony’s arm, demanding his attention again.

Tony chuckled and did as Poly demanded. “They love me because I know exactly what they want and need, which is exactly why I’ll earn the title of Pokemon Master before either of you.”

Bucky stopped shadow boxing, causing his hitmonchan to glance at him with concern for a moment before going back to steadily punching at the air. Bucky put a hand on his hip and cocked his head to the side. “Oh really?”

“That’s so funny,” Clint said. His fearow cawed as it flew overhead and dropped the Frisbee above Clint. Clint reached up, and without even having to look, caught the Frisbee. “Because who here has the most badges?”

“I thought that was me, Clint, but I don’t know. Tony is pretty good with numbers. I can’t imagine he would miscount.”

Tony scoffed and tried to hide his embarrassment behind false bravado. “You two just had a headstart on me is all. Besides, being a Pokemon Master isn’t just about the badges.”

“No,” Clint admitted. “But you need them in order to compete in the league, which is what you need to win in order to obtain that title.”

Clint strolled over to Tony, bent down, and poked Tony’s cheek. “Sorry, Tones, I love ya, but your shit talk is shit. Next time, try a different approach.” Clint kissed Tony on the forehead.

Tony swatted Clint away. “No, boyfriends who insult me don’t get kisses.”

Clint looked at Bucky. “Do I still get kisses from you?”

“Considering we both insulted him, I think we are each other’s only options.”

Clint pouted. “Aw, but what about Tony?” Clint turned soulful eyes on Tony. “Who are you going to kiss if not your boyfriends?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Tony picked Poly up by the armpits and pecked her on the nose. “Poly.”

Poly trilled in the delight and suddenly a white light engulfed her.

Tony’s eyes went wide. Growlie barked behind Tony and growled threateningly. Pixels just stared–Pixels didn’t startle easily.

The tiny, fluffy body of Poly shifted. The ears charged shape, the fur shortened, the tail became two-pronged, and when the light faded Tony could see the brown fur had turned a shade of purple. Poly’s eyes had become a deep blue, and nestled on her forehead was a red gem.

Poly had evolved into an Espeon.

“Holy shit!” Tony beamed and hugged Poly with all his might. “I love you too, Poly!”

“Okay, now I am weirdly jealous,” Clint said.

Bucky nodded. “Ditto.”

Tony’s head popped up and he looked around. “Where?”

aria-inthestarless-night  asked:

can you tell me how to do pixel arts? I'm actually making a game and I'm stuck about the characters D:

   Of course!! I’ve put together some stuff and tips that I thought useful in a tutorial-like way, I hope it helps! ´ w ` Everything is under the read more!

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Thoughts @ 1:02AM  MAY|20|17

If overthinking was an Olympic sport, I would be a champion. Yet, instead of a glorious victory- I, in reality, stand conflicted with feelings of humiliation and shame. Not because I have necessarily done anything to deserve such self-reproach,  I merely experience a situation so foreign to anything I have known - and so familiar all of the same. I would like to say that I am not immature in matters of love, but I begin to doubt that I have a full grasp of the concept.  Let’s imagine that I can understand, or rather do understand ‘love’ in its entirety.  Would you disagree that an experience- such as the one I am about to divulge, is possible?
I am already procrastinating. Trying to avoid actually writing it as it requires me to be profoundly vulnerable and relive and a daily question that I ask myself-  Do I deserve to be sitting beside the Mad Hatter at his tea party?
I think in conclusion to this all, I will have convinced you that I am bonkers enough to be in the loveable ranga’s presence.   We will see.

'Twas a humid Goldcoast afternoon when a girl (this is me) swipes right with such hoping certainty after browsing the profile of a sunkissed male (this is him). Now the girl had downloaded the renowned app only days previously when the Christmas shenanigans had seized and she was boredom-stricken. Surprised that he had matched with her in return, the girl stalked the man’s account once again in awe that he was indeed a legitimate man and not some fake bozo giving her a false sense of self.  She prodded the man with the all important question “Are you real” and his laughable reply went something along the lines of “rofl”. Wait no, he was never a 'rofl’ guy. Let’s try this again, “that’s me, check my Instagram and follow me because my Instagram has sexy body shots of me that you can adore”. Not quite either, he wasn’t all that arrogant- goofily so, but it was humorous nonetheless enjoyed. The truth is, the girl can’t remember much of the conversation as it was short and ended promptly after she deleted the app and reflected on how pathetic she was.
The significance of the Tinder match mightn’t seem relevant but it is-  just hang in there.
This girl remembers still feeling like the guy was a jerk- a fuck boy, a player. No fond memories of this gorgeous being, even presently when remembering the 5-minute-nothing-to-come-of-this-Tinder-conversation conversation. It’s ironic because months passed and the girl found herself sitting states away on a dry afternoon reading a random facebook message she received from the Tinder god she swiped seemingly forever ago.
After more detective work, the girl worked out his identity and pieced together that she had met this boy before (pixels as they were).
But the new conversation flowed, and after the guy admitted he had known of her social media while she still had Vlad The Lad as her little avatar, the girl couldn’t resist but to be flattered.  
The girl was sceptical about male intentions in general, yet the guy felt familiar. Familiar enough that only days after texting back and forth she felt comfortable enough to speak to him in a .. how do you say-  attempted-but-not-quite-there-flirtatious manner. It’s hard to make it sound more respectable than what it was, but you can imagine this Tinder romance isn’t all that romantic so picture winky face emojis or what you will. She should’ve made note that this male who had contacted her online, only wanted to have a flirt and see what he could get. That’s what happens right?

Not long after, the girl did things she hadn’t previously. She fell into the trap of placing a picture alongside words before her worth. It wasn’t shameful for the girl at the time as she had convinced herself that she enjoyed the attention (which she did, he was gloriously flirtatious). As the weeks went on, the more she spoke to the guy, the more she fell into the idea that this guy could be the person she was supposed to meet - someone worth the time to know.
He was everything and soon became everything to the girl. The girl never knew of his real intentions and to be frank- she still has no clue. Put this down to having no experience, or convincing herself that the situation was far from what it is- the girl continued to talk to this guy as if he was the only thing in the world. She adored him. In every sense of the word. ADORED.

Now months passed and what all began Jan has reached into May. They speak still. Regularly, but not as regularly. Deeply but not as deeply. Sexually, but not as sexually. Lovingly, but more lovingly. She has a greater admiration, more interest and possibly more investment in the pursuits of the guy - however still in the dark about what her feelings mean or whether she is allowed to feel them. She remembers when he called her when they first began talking, she loved his voice. She remembers when they would constantly send messages and apologise in fear that they were annoying each other. Now she sends them knowing that she is being a nuisance,  too desperate to care anymore.  She grows to see how different the conversation is.  Although she knows it’s unrealistic and childish, she see’s her importance slipping. It could be the same as it always was, but now the guy has seen what he came to see -maybe he’s tired enough to visit other attractions. Maybe he already was, and if so - how foolish for her to ever think otherwise.

The girl had scaffolded a situation where she held value in the guy’s life - where it could not be certain that she had. She let her feelings and his significance in her life determine how she thought he felt. A disastrous thing to be sure. She reaps the consequences of dreaming up such illusions.  Now, some foreground should have been set - the girl had not had a relationship prior, and her 'speaking’ with the guy had no such boundaries that she could place what it was. That’s a lie, sorry. They termed it as 'in the process of dating’. Which is chuckle-worthy as dating is a process, so it’s the 'pre-screening’ of a process - a process of a process. Anyway, the point remains - the girl would struggle to know what it all entailed as she wasn’t even familiar with stock standard relationships let alone such a bizarre arrangement.

None of this is to be placed on the guy, he is a God among men. But being bias, I can only speak on behalf of the girl, this poor girl who is beyond confused about what it is she feels and whether it’s that far unreciprocated she should feel humiliated.  She believes she is in love, but can she be in love with someone in these circumstances. Is it really love if she hasn’t met the guy, if he doesn’t feel it back, if she hasn’t felt these things before?
It’s embarrassing enough to place such value on someone without knowing they’re taking you for a ride. The guy has knowledge of real (and I mean tangible) experiences. He has dated, he has been in love. He would know what it is like. Doesn’t that tell the girl enough, that if he doesn’t feel the same, it’s because it’s not really what she thinks it is?

The girl wonders more than anything if the guy is too nice to let her know “Hey, you’re actually too much and I don’t know what you expect from me but this has gotten out of hand and I just really wanted to chat up some people and have fun but you’ve turned into a somewhat stalker who is obsessed with me and really annoys me by trying to chat with me all the time when I’m actually not interested and you’re not getting the message”.
A mouthful I know.

Maybe she thinks too much of him, and instead of him being too kind maybe he’s actually a prick and from the start, this has all been an elaborate joke. Making her feel like she’s pretty just to get nudes so he can have a laugh about it - possibly with mates. Some guys like to feel important, it’s possible he wanted to have as many people going at the one time to fuel his ego. Oh, this one is a good one. What if, this guy thought it would all be some quick fun - realised how pathetic she was and felt sympathetic enough to go “whoah can’t back out of this easily” and is slowly waiting for her to do it for him.

There are endless possibilities. It’s a fucked up situation that has ultimately left the girl confused about whether this is going to be the story of her first love or be the most humiliating experience thus far. Either way, she feels ashamed. Ashamed to think that the is even worthy enough to haven taken up the limited time he has. Ashamed to think she is worthy of the things she hopes for. Humiliated to have such encompassing feelings towards someone as fantastic and detached.

If you made it through this one, congratulations. Whether you’ve determined the chances of me obtaining an invitation to the Hatter’s party or not - we can surely agree that today’s post sits among the great psychotic you-really-should’ve-just stopped-thinking-and-had-a-sleep posts.

Optimization Strategies for Star Collection Events

For those who have been playing Wizardess Heart for less than a month, collection events are an oft-maligned kind of scam where WH awards you a paltry number of “stars” or “flowers” in connection with any action you take in the game.  For simplicity we’ll just call them all stars.

Collecting a ridiculously high number of these stars grants you access to a large number of shitty rewards, but also a few precious and exclusive event stories featuring your bae. If you love Klaus or Yukiya like the other 90% of the fandom, you’re doubly screwed because their stories are frequently among the most expensive and unattainable in terms of stars.

I thought I’d do a quick strategy write-up on how I approach these events, because the most common question I get asked is: How the hell do you get so many stars?  

Quick answer: The way I view these events, the goal is always to get as many event stories as possible while spending as little actual money as possible. So I hoard everything until triple boost and then spend everything during triple boost.

Here are details on my strategy. Some of it is completely obvious for veterans of the game, but some people may find useful tips.  Warning – long text post.

[Edit: Here is a link to an .xlsx spreadsheet to help you determine how many stars you can earn in each event.]

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Lindsay Lohan's Last Fan's Last Post

Lindsay Lohan’s Last Fan


            “So….what’s new with Lindsay?”

             I looked directly at Allen, my best friend for maybe nine years, and realized that he had run out of things to talk about with me. I responded with a neutral head nod. 

            “A new nip slip? Rehab? Comeback? Freaky Friday sequel named Strange Saturday? So Daniel…?”

            I took another sip of my iced-chai and then replied in a monotone voice. “She’s going to star in a David Mamet play in London or something, right now she is wasting away on a yacht in Ibiza surrounded by handsome dudes who wear Rolexes.”


            I don’t know when I became this assumed scholar in all things Lindsay Lohan for all of my friends and family. Almost once a week, someone references Lindsay Lohan to me, either through interweaving a Mean Girls quote in a casual conversationor explicitly asking me for the latest update on the fallen starlet.

Nearly three years ago, on a random Freshman year night in a crowded dorm room, I told my pop culture savvy friend Monica about some half-baked conceptual Tumblr idea I had. Lindsay Lohan’s Last Fan creates the fan blog to end all fan blogs: an aggressively pink aesthetic with bright yellow Arial font, content strictly consisting of photos and memes of Lindsay Lohan that would be interspersed with purposefully misspelled ramblings fearlessly defending the star. A few moments later, Monica pushed aside the cluttered mess of empty 40s bottles on her desk and whipped out her MacBook. The first photo uploaded was of a naked Lindsay clutching an acoustic guitar on a sandy beach, captioned with “If I coood be ther with her, if I coood touch her AURA.” Lindsay Lohan’s Last Fan the character was officially created.

            When I started the blog in the fall of 2011, there was an odd sense of hope for Lindsay Lohan and her career. She was showing up to court-mandated community service. She had landed the cover of Playboy. Even the most scathing of gossip columnists were noting how “happy” and “healthy” she looked in recent photographs. In the early stages of this persona, a typical Tumblr session for me would consist of messaging other Lindsay Lohan fan blogs asking if they wanted to join forces, reblogging every image under the #LindsayLohan or #LiLo Tumblr tag and going on manically apologetic rants defending her latest misbehavior: “nooooo she’s $tumbling out of B00000tsy Belllows cuz of THE PRESSURE of the #FAME not cuz $HE WAS drunk”. I was the L’enfant terrible of the Lindsay Lohan fan community; overeager, overzealous and typing with a sense of entitlement that I and only I, Linday Lohan’s Last and only true Fan, truly understood the star. A series of questions from other “genuine” Lohan fan blogs started piling up in my Tumblr inbox: “Why are you so creepy? Why do you misspell everything? Why are you so OBSESSED with Lindsay Lohan? Who are you? Are you a boy or a girl?

            At first I was adamantly opposed to answering any of these questions, thinking that this persona of Lindsay Lohan’s Last Fan, being so warped up in her obsession, wouldn’t feel any desire to assert any sense of selfhood. I randomly replied to a few questions with the 2007 “not my cocaine” in her pocket era Lindsay Lohan mug shot or a Freaky Friday GIF; my glossy pink mystique remained in tact. When I showed my friends the blog, they either would tell me it was funny, reply with a shrug or question if perhaps my liberal arts college had made me go manic: Daniel, do you even like Lindsay Lohan? Are you okay? The project was admittedly aimless; the same joke of an anonymous Lindsay Lohan jihadist repeated over and over again. In January 2012, I was about to quit and get a new hobby.

Then Lana Del Rey’s SNL performance happened.

 I was fascinated by her self-pitying lyrics, the permanent sadness in her eyes and her shameless embrace of being society’s victim. I spontaneously copied and pasted the chorus of “Video Games” to a photograph of a 2010 “I’m going to Cannes Film Festival to party on yachts” Lindsay gracelessly falling on her face: Heaven is a place on Earth with you. The Tumblr response was ecstatic: HAHAHA, GURL wtf is this! I transitioned to creating memes with my own cheesy musings of what Lindsay Lohan’s Last Fan thought about her emotionally abusive parents, loneliness and her painful obscurity. Lindsay Lohan had alcohol and cocaine to escape the “painful misery of daddy and reality”. Lindsay Lohan’s Last Fan had well, Lindsay Lohan. I stopped obnoxiously misspelling words and reblogging generic Lindsay Lohan GIFs and photos and embraced a new direction. I put on the guise of a crying teen girl in her bedroom, using this Tumblr persona to express some inner-darkness that could only be articulated through hyperbole: We both hate daddy, we both have fake friends and we both are on the edge of the abyss, forever isolated, forever shackled to this life! Over time, Lindsay Lohan’s Last Fan became less about the idea of obsession and more about the idea of what it means to truly connect with a specific celebrity. Lindsay Lohan’s last truly culturally relevant movie was Herbie Fully Loaded. For years now her actual Blockbuster, enticing body of work was her fragile existence. Her life, filled with arrests, rehab visits and lesbian romances, was ripe and ready to be part of a grander tragic meta-narrative. There was nothing more to her than her latest fuck up; everything snowballing into the inevitable TMZ headline: Lindsay Lohan DEAD followed by the inevitable Dina Lohan or/and Michael Lohan “up close and PERSONAL” account of their daughter’s life. Nothing about Lindsay Lohan and the cult of her celebrity is necessarily unique. If anything, her life has become a self-actualization of a Valley of the Dolls-level of triteness.

As my Tumblr popularity increased, I noticed that the other blogs reblogging my memes had been sandwiching my content in between photos of the late Anna Nicole Smith dressed as a clown, Paris Hilton mug shots, Britney Spears scarfing down Taco Bell and a crack head Amy Winehouse. I was being embraced by the #Camp #2005 niche sub-culture of Tumblr, with blogs that had a flashier and glitterier design praising my work and calling me “BB”.  It was all too silly. I had to go back to the drawing board; I tapped deeper into the depths of this inner sad girl. I made Lindsay Lohan’s Last Fan question her own obsession and write epic poems about the increasing sense of alienation she felt between herself and the star: When Lindsay cries, it’s BREAKING NEWS, when I cry, Daddy just laughs and suggests waterproof mascara. The more invested I got, the more Lindsay Lohan’s Last Fan became about how one individual amongst a sea of internet trolls, journalists, gossip magazine readers and fans, had found a unique connection with someone who invoked such ubiquitous disdain. Dr. Drew Pinsky using Lindsay Lohan as an example of the dangers of alcoholism was no different than when Lindsay Lohan’s Last Fan related the critically panned Liz and Dick to her own personal experience of stuttering during a Bat Mitzvah speech. She didn’t need the TMZ obituary; Lindsay Lohan had been up for grabs for a while now.

In the fall of 2012, I woke up from a nap to a Facebook message: “OMFG. Check BuzzFeed…”

A handful of my memes that I uploaded during my “Live-Meme viewing session” of Liz and Dick had been incorporated into a list of “21 People Who Genuinely Loved Liz and Dick”. My images were interspersed between Tweets from unassuming, “genuine” Lindsay Lohan fans that actually liked her critically panned Elizabeth Taylor Lifetime bio-epic. Immediately after the BuzzFeed post, my viewer stats hit records high, got a ton of new Tumblr followers and hundreds of more reblogs. If any of my friends and family didn’t know that I had this second Internet persona, they now knew and they now could count on me as their handy-dandy Lindsay Lohan expert. A few days after experiencing a manic rush from achieving a minor-level of notoriety, I revisited the BuzzFeed article. I had a painful epiphany: my blog was fucking evil.  

This persona I created of someone being whole-heartedly sincere had come under attack by a snarky blog, being lumped in with actual fans who were deemed naïve and stupid. The character was given exposure not on her terms, but on the fucked up power dynamics of irony and mockery perpetuated by some presumptuous arbiter of good taste. This project had become a monster. Lindsay Lohan’s Last Fan had also started becoming all consuming: My MacBook Desktop was now completely covered in memes and photographs of Lindsay Lohan, I woke up everyday Googling Lindsay Lohan, Facebook had started trying to sell me Amazon discount DVDs starring none other than…. Lindsay Lohan.

After the BuzzFeed existential crisis, I started making darker, more tragic memes. I thought that there was no real point in ending the blog because Lindsay Lohan’s life had yet to reach a true moment of catharsis. Perhaps the #comeback was going to actually happen in two, three months or a year and what a fucking shame if Lindsay Lohan’s Last Fan missed it. And so I continued. I even started making deeply disturbing Youtube videos in which I paired distorted recordings of the persona’s obsessive thoughts with glitched out, pixelated images of Lindsay: I woke up and thought about Lindsay Lohan, Lindsay Lohan also woke up and thought about Lindsay Lohan.

            I had come to discover that maybe the concept of “performance art” is rendered meaningless on the Internet. I was creating a specific artifice for myself, this crazed, manic-depressive fan and was being engaged directly on the aesthetic of my work. Without the confines of a gallery space, there was nothing to potentially differentiate this performance project from the other fans on the next “21 People Who Actually Like Lindsay Lohan” list. It didn’t matter when I submitted it to a Dis Magazine contest or when “Tumblr Teen Girl” artist/expert Kate Durbin reblogged my work for her Womans as Objects project. It never and still doesn’t matter because Lindsay Lohan’s Last Fan the Tumblr page is out there waiting for people to stumble upon it and not even question it’s alleged inauthenticity: What’s wrong with you? Are you okay? Looking back at old memes, it’s hard to say whether the “I am so lonely” was real at the moment or not; the well-worn cliché of method acting is admittedly a lived experience for me. At this point, I want Lindsay Lohan to win an Oscar, I want Lindsay Lohan to get married, I want Lindsay Lohan to start her inevitable Long Island nuclear- family and finally be clean and sober for good. Not necessarily because I care about her as a person, but more because I want her to do anything that could liberate her from the creepy and firm grasp of Lindsay Lohan’s Last Fan. She has now reached a point of nicotine-induced malaise, wasting away on a yacht in Ibiza surrounded by handsome dudes who wear Rolexes. Analogously, Lindsay Lohan’s Last Fan floats along, feeling neither a sense of closure or the same captivating connection of yesteryear. Thousands of memes later, the superstar and fan have both reached a period of indefinite mediocrity.  It’s time for the blog to end.

 If I learned anything from this project, it’s honestly just the objective truths about Lindsay Lohan that can be verified by court records, IMDB, Wikipedia and photographs.  Yes, I am a Lindsay Lohan expert. And so, this January, I will teach a run-of-the-mill introductory course on Lindsay Lohan for my college’s experimental learning week. I won’t bring up Warhol or Koons, Baudrillard or Adorno. No, this will be a cut and dry course covering the facts of Lindsay Lohan’s life: She did star in The Parent Trap in 1998, she did date Wilmer Valderrama in 2005, she did get two DUIs in 2007. After the class, I will tell the students to discuss the content and collectively decide what to make of my boring PowerPoint presentation: What’s the narrative here, if there really is one? Then and only then, will Lindsay Lohan’s Last Fan would be allowed to finally die.  

            It’s you, it’s all for you, everything I do, I tell you all the time, heaven is a place on Earth with you

Visual Culture

One of the papers I’m taking this year is Visual Culture, or as one of my lecturers has defined it, ‘how seeing functions’. 

If I’m being completely honest, I first chose the paper because I wanted to toss aside books of Romantic poetry and study paintings instead (and for an essay I’m studying Botticelli, yay 🎉)… but little did I know that I had actually always been emotionally invested in the study of Visual Culture.

Two weeks ago, I tentatively made the suggestion of an idea that I had for an essay to my supervisor. I had no clue whether this thing had any potential or anything, but I remember thinking that I wanted to bring my own, personal experiences and therefore opinions to the paper. So, what did this idea entail, I hear you cry? 

Blogging. Profiles. The Self.

I have accounts on most main social media sites (e.g. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr). I’m not alone in this at all - in fact most people I know are on these sites - but that is precisely my point. I occupy a small fragment of the vast, virtual world of the Internet…. I occupy a ‘space’. This ‘space’ is essentially shown to me & others via pixels on a flat screen. I can then perceive other people’s small fragments and compare them, perhaps connect them, to my own. Is it not interesting that what we ‘see’ when we view a profile comes to represent that which we assume is real (i.e. another person/life)? This may not make much sense, but I’m basically telling you my perspective as a person scrolling through Instagram/Tumblr on my phone. And it was these two social media sites that interested me the most.

Although the Photograph has been said to contain a trace of the ‘real’ - something other artistic medias such as painting do not - we have also all heard, as citizens of the 21st Century, the common phrase that a person’s Instagram life is not their ‘real’ life. And to this we think, well…duh(!). It’s common knowledge that usually people only post photographs they feel look good, or ones they think will express a superior part of their life, because this is the part which adheres to the culturally constructed ideas of ‘beauty’ and ‘taste’. But I’m not interested in this ‘why’, more interested in the effect. Before I say anymore, I thought I’d specify that the kinds of Instagram profiles I’m interested in looking at (literally) here are those that are – or so we think they are - focused on material objects. You will recognise the ones: you go onto an Instagram profile, where the image of a hand with an expensive watch on the wrist lies next to an image of the body shown in a ‘mirror pic’, the head is cut off from the frame and our first focus lies on the expensive suit. The next image shows slick shoes, worn on the feet of…who? Well, the faceless blogger, of course. This person intrigues me, but I couldn’t give a damn who they are. I’m more interested in wanting to find out what they’ve done to the representation of the human body in the arrangement of such an Instagram profile. The fragmentation of the body when I visit these pages feels harsh to me. For me, their Instagram page is not purely a show of economic surplus or capitalist culture; I think there’s something more to be said, and I’m wanted to use Visual Culture – ‘how seeing functions’ – to say it as the viewer.

Tumblr is different. The blogs I am interested in talking about are those that feature photographs mostly taken by other people, collated to form something we have come to acknowledge as an ‘#aestheticgoal’. I’m not going to go into theories of aesthetics because this just isn’t relevant here – ‘aesthetic’ in the social media sense is essentially ‘taste’. But in any case, the impression bloggers on Tumblr are presenting is that of an even less ‘real’ … the people we assume lie behind these blogs aren’t even trying to construct an image of themselves, instead a persona for who they ‘ideally’ wish to be. The imaginative inhabitation of – say – an image of a New York apartment is something we can experience on this site, next to the #goals of an image of a bikini-clad model at the beach. I’m interested in how this juxtaposition of images plays out in our perception as viewers, and what kind of effects this kind of viewing experience has.

This is where my idea gets quite personal. I’m not going to get personal in my essay because it wouldn’t be relevant, but I think my feelings are relevant to the efficacy of this blog post. Thinking back to my first experiences of Tumblr and Instagram as a teenage girl, I must admit I consistently reblogged and liked photographs of unattainable #bodygoals and #relationshipgoals. I’ve just been reading an essay by Rosalind Coward called, ‘The Look’ in preparation for a seminar tomorrow, and I’ve actually (usefully) been able to link it to my ideas for this social media essay. Her essay made me feel… uneasy. Not because I disagreed, but because I actually felt an affinity with the conclusion. Her essay basically (I’m being extremely general here) describes the circulation of images of the female in society, and the effect these images have on women. What is usually seen to be the ‘Narcissus’ stage of woman’s life (i.e. the woman-child stage), where the woman ‘identifies’ with these ‘ideal’ images surrounding her, turns out to be an identification laden with discontent, namely because the woman cannot see herself in the image of herself presented. Coward concludes the essay by saying that these images create an anxiety: if we cannot become the ‘image’ presented, if we cannot prune ourselves to ‘perfection’ through dieting, buffing, bronzing, waxing, etc… then we will, ultimately, face the future as unloved.

Reading this essay now, I can see that the idea of being unloved because you cannot attain the ‘ideal’ look is a false notion, but it is 100% something I have felt and do still sometimes feel. I no longer follow blogs that promote these kinds of images, I also no longer follow the profiles of those who are said to represent society’s ‘body goals’ on Instagram - not because I do not like who these people are (I like to think every person in and of themselves is lovely) but because I have been exposed to the images of these women in the past, and it is these images that have affected my perception of my self. The images of these real women that have been taken with the ‘ideal’ in mind is the problem. By unfollowing, I am choosing not to expose myself to the images any more than society dictates I have to via billboards or other forms of cultural media you see walking through the street … therefore I feel like I can begin to cultivate a certain comfort in the skin I am in.

I’m actually quite nervous for the seminar tomorrow, as I would not feel comfortable taking about my own experiences as a teenage girl and even as a woman in front of 25 people, no matter how useful it may be. However I need to say here that exposure to an ‘ideal’ definitely played a part in my issues surrounding mental health. There were days, weeks even, where I wouldn’t leave the house because I felt too ugly to expose myself to the world. This sounds melodramatic now, but it’s actually fucking serious. And it makes me angry. In 2013 I cancelled a trip to Barcelona with friends on the day I was supposed to leave because I thought I was too fat and too pale to enjoy myself, and I was terrified of the photographs. I measured myself by the societal ‘standards’ handed to me on a plate in the form of social media such as Tumblr/Instagram. I’m not saying there is fundamentally anything wrong with having an account (I’d be the definition of a hypocrite if I did), but I do find the effect exposure to such images can have interesting – even in the instantaneous effect of scrolling past something. 

Which brings me to the last interest I had: the difference in experiencing Tumblr/Instagram real-time on a feed, to experiencing individual pages. This to me seemed to have very different effects. We scroll, we like, we move on. But a profile with a collection of images calls for more contemplation, more judgement. And it will be interesting to see where this goes. 

In any case – two weeks ago I pitched my idea to my supervisor, expecting to be shot down. Instead he was really excited. And so am I.  

- Sarah (or, the woman who made the image below monochrome because I think it ‘looks good’ … I’m conforming to certain standards, but I’m also showing an image of my ‘self’ I wish to present. It may not be the ‘real’ me, but in a world which is in itself virtual, it may suffice as a trace of reality attempting to provide a somewhat genuine account of my life.)