and i still feel like i might have missed someone

Thinking Bout You (Tom Holland!Peter Parker x reader)

Hey everyone! Thank you for 300+ followers!!! Yay! This is an imagine based off of one of my favorite songs by one of my favorite people. Sorry I haven’t been writing lately, I’ve been stuck in drivers ed (it’s hella boring). This fic is based off of the song ‘Thinking Bout You’ by Ariana Grande (I’m a huge Arianator). I hope you guys enjoy. I love you guys! Hollanders for the win <3
(P.S. does anybody else watch the Saw movies? Cause I really like them. I think I might be a crazy bitch because of it so hopefully someone else watches them too.)

- Xoxo K


There was a silence in the room. It wasn’t normal, it was unfamiliar to you. The tv was on, but it was still silent to you. It was lacking the discussions about nerdy movies, the cheesy jokes, and the never ending laughter that you were used to. You weren’t dead, but you didn’t feel alive. You weren’t gone, but you didn’t feel there. You weren’t dumb, but you didn’t have an easy time keeping your grades up. You missed him. He was all you could think about ever since he left for Germany. You knew he was taking his duties as Spider-Man to the next level and that was what he wanted, but you still found it hard to be without him, even for a few days. The trip was so abrupt, so sudden that you didn’t have much time to say goodbye, and you didn’t even get to see each other before he left. You just kept getting thoughts in your head about him. Your thoughts went to his messy hair, the way his arms wrapped around your frame when he held you. There was just no way to forget him, not for even a week. Not a week, not a day, not an hour, not a second. You knew that nobody could love you the way that he did. The way his loving could make your eyes roll back, the way he would make you arch your back. You moved to your bedroom, making your way over to your desk by your window. You picked up a picture of you and Peter at an ice cream shop in Queens. Somehow things turned into an ice cream war and both of you ended up laughing with ice cream all over your faces. The memory of that day made a smile tug at the corners of your mouth as you ran your hand over the framed image. “I just wish you’d hurry up and come back.” You whispered to yourself, admiring the adorable photo. You didn’t have him here with you but at least you had the memory. You tried to sleep, but just as all the other nights, you couldn’t. You tried, but you couldn’t make it through the night. You just couldn’t control your mind from going back to him. You checked the clock. Midnight. You sat up in bed, getting up and walking to your window. You step foot on the fire escape and approach the edge, standing with your arms over the rails, just watching the city. You turn your head to the side and notice a light in Peter’s apartment. The light to his room was on. You were excited. Incredibly excited. Your heart was racing a million beats per second and you quickly climbed over the window sill and back into your room, rushing out the front door of your apartment.

(Peep my favorite gif ever… y'all know why)

Originally posted by tomhollandisdaddy

Not Obsessed

Rating: T
Themes: General
Ships: ChloNath
Word Count: 643

He wasn’t obsessed. 

He just liked to draw her. 

Sketchbook after sketchbook were filled with drawings of her. Some were just sketches of her face. Others were full body, lined and colored pieces that captured her likeness like nothing else. 

“Why don’t you put that sketchbook down and join the rest of us?”

It was a video game party at Max’s house. For the first time since he arrived, Nathanael looked up from his sketchbook. 

The one that had approached him was Marinette. 

“Sorry, sometimes I just loose track of what is around me when I’m drawing,” said Nathanael.

“I get that way sometime when I’m working on a new design,” Marinette reaches for his sketchbook, “Can I have a look?”

“No,” he hastily replies. 

Marinette retracts her hand and points behind her. “If you join us, there is still some place on Super Smash Bros.”

Nathanael watches her return to her game before taking a look around the living room. Two tvs set up, one with Mario Kart and the other had Super Smash Bros. Juleka, Rose, Ivan, and Mylene were playing against each other on Mario Kart with Sabrina nearby calling next. Max, Nino, Alya, Adrien, and Marinette were playing 8 player smash with a few AIs. Kim and Alix were in some kind of competition to chug soda. 

The person that stuck out to him was Chloe. 

She was off to the side, eating some snacks without trying to socialize with any of their other classmates. 

He decided he could also use a something to drink.

“You know,” he says as he puts his sketchbook on the table to open a soda, “there is still space on Smash Bros if you want to join in. This is a party so you might as well join in.”

“Says the one that was nose deep in their sketchbook until just a moment ago,” she replies before taking his sketchbook. “What were you even working on? More Marinette sketches?”

Nathanael tried to reach for his sketchbook but it was too late, she had already opened it. 

Page after page were drawings of Queen Bee.

“You really like to draw Queen Bee,” she says as she continues to flip through his sketchbook. “This whole book is full of her. Are you obsessed or something?”

“I’m not obsessed. I just like to draw her.”

The blush on his face was not convincing at all.

“What’s the point in obsessing over someone so unobtainable? You’re are just going to get hurt in the end,” said Chloe as she shoved the sketchbook into his hands.

“If I didn’t know better I would say you actually cared about my feelings.”

“I’m not a monster. Might as well pass on what I know. Don’t go after someone that you can’t have.”

Nathanael didn’t miss the way her eyes darted towards Marinette and Adrien. They weren’t big on PDA but you could still see the small touches, the way they leaned into each other, their hand always linked. A few months ago that sight would have hurt him too. He had gotten over his crush on Marinette but it seemed Chloe still couldn’t let Adrien go.

“You can still love him.”


“I mean platonicly,” he explained. “You two have been friends for so long, why don’t you just support him and what makes him happen?”

“I don’t need advice from an obsessed tomato.”

He didn’t talk to her for the rest of the party.

When Nathanael returned home, the first thing he did was ready a canvas to start a new painting.

He told himself that he just found her to be a good muse. Someone that was always in a dynamic pose, whose colors inspired him. 

He wasn’t obsessed.

He just liked to draw her.

Whether she was Chloe or Queen Bee, he just liked to draw her.

anonymous asked:

do you think that aces who are cis & straight (and not aces that arent) can be called cishet aces? just curious, sorry if you get hate for replying to this

If someone is ace, they’re not straight. Being straight implies being both heteroromantic AND heterosexual. If someone is asexual, they experience no sexual attraction. Not even to the “opposite” gender. 

(An ace might still identify as lesbian, for example, if their romantic orientation and/or “if I were to have sex I would prefer this gender I just don’t feel sexual attraction upon seeing them” results in a woman being attracted to a woman, but the concept of being straight doesn’t work like that. Straight implies your orientation is fully accepted by the general community, and missing a “hetero” in there somewhere - anywhere - results in a lack of acceptance.)

Is a heteroromantic ace straight? Nope. They’re heteroromantic but not heterosexual, and therefore not straight. 

A heteroromantic person on the ace spectrum who when they experience sexual attraction is heterosexual, are they straight? That’s up to them if they want to call themselves straight, but strictly speaking no they’re not. 

I’m hetero-quoiromantic and hetero-gray-ace, am I straight? Uh, mostly. For personal identification purposes, I consider myself straight. For discourse purposes, no I am not a cishet ace. I usually don’t experience sexual attraction and I can’t identify romantic attraction, and I absolutely do not have the same life experiences as someone who is Actually Straight. 

So, to answer your question, straight aces don’t exist, so no you can’t call them cishet aces. 

Mod Marie-Rose

[Don’t Wanna Cry Series] Seungcheol ver.

Prompt: Don’t Wanna Cry - Seungcheol
Genre: slight fluff, angst
Word count: 818
Warnings: None!

A/N: New drabble up! So basically (y/n)’s job here is a figure skater in case some of you don’t know! This drabble might be a little lengthy? But I hope you guys like it anyway!

-jihooned 😶

S.Coups | Jeonghan | Joshua | Jun | Hoshi | Wonwoo | Woozi | DK | Mingyu | The8 | Seungkwan | Vernon | Dino |

Originally posted by performanceunit

Seungcheol gasped in amazement as he watched you execute a perfect double axel. Landing steadily on your left foot, you proceeded to complete your routine with ease. As you made your way to the side of the rink where he was waiting, Seungcheol’s smile grew wider. You made your way into his arms as he pulled you in for a nice, warm hug.

“How are you still so energetic even after that routine?” He chuckled.

You simply shrugged your shoulders and grinned, “excessive training I guess.”

Seungcheol locked his gaze with yours before placing a soft kiss on your forehead.

How could someone be so perfect? He wondered.

You deserved better. Seungcheol knew that, even before he dated you. It had been a year since he asked you out, and till this day, he wonders what you saw in him.

A figure skating champion, straight As student, a great chef, you had it all.

But him? Nothing much. He may be a well known idol, but seeing the hate comments you got when your relationship was announced made him feel like a terrible boyfriend. There were more comments in favour of your relationship, but still, he didn’t want you be involved in such negative things.

However, you always shrugged it off as something you had to deal with if you wanted to get into a relationship with such a widely loved idol.

Seungcheol felt even more guilty hearing that.

“(y/n), I think we need to end our relationship. My company isn’t exactly happy about it, neither are some of my members. And it’ll be better for our fans too. You should go see someone better, someone who can love you and treat you better than me.”

It broke his heart into a million pieces when he said that. But there was no other way to break it to you that you deserved better.

You held back a sob. “I really thought, we had everything planned out.”

Seungcheol looked away, he didn’t want to see you cry, and he didn’t want you to see him cry either.

“But I guess,” you continued, voice already beginning to crack, “if it’s for the best then, I guess it’s okay.”

Keep reading

how can I live without you (when it makes me feel as if I lost a part of myself)

aka First time you and Cassian are separated for 5 months

Originally posted by wynonasrider




Cassian x Reader

Words: 2389

Series Summary: Cassian and Reader Firsts – from meeting each other to the first time, first kiss, first fight, first “I love you”, to their (first) last breaths (maybe…that might be too depressing)

Time Cassian and Reader have known each other: 1 year

Chapter: 9/20

Prompt: Anonymous- “firsts” for cassian x reader please?!? (like first date, first kiss, first fight etc) :-))

Author’s notes: Being away from someone you love is shitty. Like really shitty. Also I think I read this like 7 times today so I may have missed a spelling mistake or grammar or something so feel free to point it out. But I hope you enjoy!

A five-month mission.

You still couldn’t believe it.

Ever since you had left you had felt off.

You wanted to message Cassian, but you weren’t allowed to. Communication had been forbidden during this mission.

You had always hated missions like this. Ever since you had trained new rebels to do your job, they had been taking all your easier missions. You didn’t mind at first, because those missions had always been slightly boring and unadventurous. However, once you realized that stuck you with all the insanely long and difficult missions, you were begging for the boring ones. 

But you weren’t given them.

Instead you were given a five month long undercover mission.

You’d only ever been undercover once. And it hadn’t turned out too well. So you were surprised when Draven sent you and not one of his intelligence agents.

You were sent to infiltrate an imperial military base to find another undercover agent. She had been undercover in the empire for three years. The rebellion needed her out, but had no way of communicating with her.

So you were sent. You would find her. You would get her out. You would bring her home.

Cassian planned to tell you how he felt when he arrived back at base.

He knew that he had taken long enough and he was ready to be yours. He had been planning and planning. He had even made a list of all the different ways he could ask you out. He’d shoved it in his drawer before he left. He didn’t want you to accidentally find it especially since you lived together now.

As he left his ship he didn’t see you. That was weird. You were always there waiting for him. So where were you?

Maybe you were in a meeting and couldn’t get out? Maybe you had fallen asleep? Maybe? Maybe?

He arrived at your room only to find it cold and stale. Half your things were missing. He knew something was up. However, before he could begin searching, there was a knock at the door.

It was Mila, one of your trainees from months ago. She had graduated your number one student and was now one of the best bounty hunters.

She looked solemn.

And Cassian knew.

“Where’s Y/N?”

“On a mission.”

Cassian relaxed. But Mila didn’t. He grew worried.

“Is something wrong? It’s just a mission?” Cassian questioned his brows furrowed.

“No, you don’t understand Y/N is on a long mission. An undercover mission. A “not going to be back for another five months” mission. Maybe even more. We’re not exactly sure. We had no information. We still don’t have information. Y/N went in blind.”

Cassian’s heart dropped. Five months. He quickly thanked Mila, bid her a goodnight and all but shoved her out the door. She nodded in understanding.

Cassian shut the door. He felt empty. The room felt wrong. Part of him didn’t even want to stay there. However, he knew without a part of you he would go crazy. Your room was all he had left of you right now. 

Before he realized it he had picked up his comlink and clicked on your name. It rang. And rang. And rang. But it didn’t connect.

He was just about to hang up when he heard a faint ringing in the room. He began to tear everything apart until he found your comlink buried in the blankets.

He couldn’t message you. Even if he could…. what would he even say.

You missed Cassian.

You missed his smile. His eyes. His laughter. His hugs. The way he would cuddle you close at night. The way he would grab your hand when walking down the hall, his thumb brushing over your knuckles. The way he would make you laugh until your chest hurt. The way he would look at you.

You just missed him. You weren’t used to being alone anymore.

All you had to remind yourself of him were a few shirts you had stolen out of his drawer before you left.

Almost three months into your mission you were finally able to successfully infiltrate the Empire as a politician from a far off planet.

You had been looking for a sign of the undercover rebel, but you couldn’t seem to find her anywhere. All you knew was that she was female. Draven hadn’t given you her name, her picture or even her undercover job. You were flying in blind.

One day you were walking through the imperial base and accidentally bumped into a woman. When you looked into her eyes you just knew. It was her.

She reminded you of how yourself. How you had been before. Before you met Cassian.

She looked broken, but still resilient.

You mumbled an apology quickly followed by the contact code Draven had given you. The woman shot back against the wall as if she had been shocked.

You threw up your hands and she looked at you for a moment before relaxing immediately.

You quickly moved her out of the public hallway and into a side room.

“You’re going to get me out of here?”

You nodded and she smiled. 

You both knew it was going to be a while until you were able to get out. It wouldn’t easy to leave. It would take careful planning. And if anything went wrong you could end up leading the Empire back to your base.

But you both had hope. Hope you would get home in one piece.

You and Nei, your fellow rebel, began to hang out in public places. You knew it would be weird to be seen with her every single day so you staggered your meetings. You had to act as new friends would. After a few weeks you were certain that nobody would suspect anything so you and Nei became roommates.

You also became quick friends.

At first, even though you and Nei seemed to bond fairly quickly over plans of your escape, you didn’t share anything too personal. You were both still cautious around each other, because you were strangers. 

It wasn’t until a few weeks into living together that you shared something private.

“You really love them, don’t you?”

Your head snapped up and you shoved the picture you had been looking at under your pillow, “Love whom? What? I don’t love anybody. There’s no one. Nope. Nada. No one.”

Nei laughed stretching her hand out towards you, wiggling her fingers, “Y/N we have been rooming together for weeks. You look at that picture every night. It has to be someone you love. Trust me. I know what love looks like. I can see it in your eyes. You love them. So gimme. I want to see.“

“I do.” You said softly, “I love him.” You said out loud for the first time, your heart sinking slightly, thinking about how much you missed him. 

Nei nodded in satisfaction, “Tell me about him.”

You blushed grabbing the picture from underneath the pillow and looking down at it once more before handing it to her.

The picture was of Cassian. One of your favorite pictures of him. It had been a normal day. Cassian had been sitting next to your ship waiting for you to finish up your work. He was sprawled out against a crate wearing the crochet hat you had made him. It was ugly. But he loved it. You don’t remember what you had said to him. But it made him laugh. He looked so carefree and happy in the moment that you wanted to capture it forever. So you did.

Nei smiled slightly and looked up expectantly at you.

“He’s my best friend. He’s wonderful. So pure and passionate. He cares so deeply and loves like no other. He pulled me out of the darkness when we met. I was in such a bad place and he helped me find my strength. I don’t know what I would do without him. He’s my everything.”

“But you haven’t told him.”

You shook your head, “How could I? If he doesn’t like me back I could ruin everything. Even if he does like me, do I really want to risk adding romance to our relationship?”

Nei snorted handing the picture back to you, “But see that’s the thing. There’s already romance in your relationship. You just haven’t talked about it yet. You love him and it’s positively clear he loves you back.”

“I’m not so sure. “

 It wasn’t until a few weeks later that you actually believed her.

You had slowly been making your way through Cassian’s clothes. You couldn’t sleep well without them. It wasn’t as good as having the actual Cassian, but it was better than nothing.

But that night when you reached into your bag to grab one of his shirts something fell out of it. You quickly put the shirt on and reached down to grab whatever had dropped.

A piece of paper?

What was that doing in Cassian’s shirt?

You unfolded the papers and froze.

Your eyes scanned back and forth 10 times.

“What have you got there?”

You jumped, dropping the paper. Nei reached down and grabbed it. You let out a squeak and tried to take it back, but she held it out of your reach.

She pulled it close to her face, her eyes squinting.

“AHA! I knew it! I told you. I’m a genius! I call being in your wedding!”

Cassian was sitting in his workshop trying to figure out what had been on the list of plans he had written for asking you out. He swore he had put it in his drawer, but he couldn’t find it anywhere.

However, if he wanted to ask you when you got back he had to start brainstorming again.

Cassian’s List of Ways to Profess his Love to Y/N

1. Put something in Y/N’s favorite cake (the probability of Y/N eating and/or choking on the note would be above 90% -Kay)

2. Scavenger hunt around the base…. without anyone finding out?

3. Buying Y/N’s favorite book and writing posting a note on the inside cover

4. Baking Y/N a pizza (Cassian last time you tried to bake you set fire to the base’s kitchen –Kay)

5. Decorating the inside of Y/N’s ship somewhere to set up a nice dinner (Y/N’s ship isn’t even here –Kay)

6. Singing Y/N a cheesy song that I wrote (with help from the droids singing backup)

7. Just tell Y/N you idiot -Mila

As Cassian reread his list his brows furrowed at number 7. He didn’t write that.

“So when are you professing your love to Y/N?”

Cassian jumped whacking his head against the wall, “Fuck Mila. Shouldn’t you be writing a mission report? ”

Language! And hey don’t change the subject. Answer my question.” 

Cassian shrugged trying to hide the paper before Mila could see it, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Mila sighed loudly dropping down to sit beside Cassian, “Cassian. I literally saw you writing your list. I wrote on your list. Y/N. Love. Professing. Do it. Now.”

Your mission was finally over.

You and Nei were able to get back to Yavin 4 in one piece. It hadn’t been easy and you had to fight your way out, but you were finally home.

The second you landed you were out of your ship and racing to your room, leaving Nei behind, who was screaming, “good luck!.

As you reached your door you realized too late that you didn’t have your access card.

So you did the only thing you could think of. You started banging loudly on the door.

No answer.

You started kicking it letting out a frustrated groan. 

Still no answer.

Where the fuck was he?

It was four in the morning. He had to be there. He wasn’t on another mission. You had checked. He had to be there.

You slammed your fist into the door one more time and turned ready to go search the rest of the base, when you heard the groan of the door opening.

And there stood a perfect, yet exhausted looking Cassian. You could tell you had woken him up. His hair was ruffled. He was aggressively rubbing his hand across his face. And he looked grumpy as fuck.

He was also only wearing pajama pants and you weren’t able to pull your gaze away from his chest until you heard his voice.

“What the fuck? Someone better be dying.”

“Well. Not dying. But I mean I have a pretty important question to answer. If you’d only do the asking part?”

Cassian’s head shot up his eyes blinking hard. You stood there silently watching him try to piece together that you were actually there.

“Y/N? You’re here?! When did you get back? Are you alright? Why are you covered in blood?!” His voice cracked.

You glanced down at yourself in surprise. You had wanted to see him so bad that you hadn’t even bothered to clean up first.

As you opened your mouth to reply his eyes shot down to the piece of paper you had crumpled in your hand. And it finally hit him what you had initially said. You had his paper. The paper he had been using to try and ask you out.

“Oh. Oh.” He took a step forward, “So does that mean you have an answer for me?”

You rocked back on your heels, blushing slightly, “Don’t you have something to ask me first?”

Cassian beamed running a hand nervously through his hair, “Y/N, will you-“

But before he could even finish the question you shot forward knocking the breath out of him.

You arms were tight around his chest and you buried your face into his neck.


You squeezed him a little tighter and then tried to pull back, only to have Cassian’s arms tighten around you. You chuckled shoving him back a little. Your hands reached out to touch his chest feeling his racing heartbeat. One hand slowly rose up until it was cupping his face. You brushed your thumb across his cheek and he sighed.

Just as he opened his mouth to say something your other hand shot up grabbing his hair and pulling his face to yours.

The second your lips touched his, you felt complete.


Tagged: @ly–canthrope @misswinchester221b @heyjess-marie

Next up: I knew the second I saw you (that you were meant to be mine) aka First official asking out


jesus said
“do not throw your pearls to pigs”
but i didn’t listen
and gave you the keys
to my kingdom 
i hate
that it feels
like defeat
to say
i miss you
hey, i don’t wanna be annoying but
you said you’d be there for me
and then you ignored my messages for two days
or maybe more cause i’m still waiting
hey, i don’t wanna be annoying but
can you please be careful
when you say you love someone
cause then they might miss you
and feel very stupid for doing so
hey, i don’t wanna be annoying but
i can’t even get angry at you
so i have to write crap like this
and hope the letters fill the space you left
i keep waiting for you to say something,
to stop pretending like you haven’t ruined it
by treating my openness like something cheap
i keep waiting for me to say something too
but I never do
—  i hate u, i love u // julia m.
Diabolik Lovers LOST EDEN [Tsukinami Prologue]

Please note, I do not allow my translations to be taken elsewhere, nor do I wish for them to be used as a base for another Language.

For chu (☆σ´ω`)σ @katcalaveras 

Cannon’s note before you start:

ヴァンパイア / Vanpaia / Vampire 

ヴォルフ / Vorufu / Wolff > Wolf Clan

アードラー / Adora / Adler > Hawk Clan

ビボラ / Bibora / Vivora > Snake Clan

万魔殿 / Banmaden > Tsukinami sibling’s residing place in the Under World

金平糖 / Konpeito > Japanese Sugar Candy

Keep reading

Under the Stars

Prompt: So Dick and his wife are finally moving into their new house (yeah, house not apartment ^^) but need to renovate it a little. So what they do is painting the walls and it’s just domestic fluff all around?

Requested by: @kazuha159 hopefully this cheers you up a bit hun!

Words: 769

           Dick smiles as he slides onto the couch next to you. He situates himself behind you so that he’s able to hold you, wrap his arms around you. He kisses the side of your head, and runs his hands up and down your arms. “What are you thinking about?”

           “It’s big,” you whisper, the sound carrying slightly in the empty room.

           Dick smiles and kisses your shoulder, “Yes it is.”

           You look up at him and say, “We don’t have enough stuff to fill this house.”

           He laughs, “I thought that was why we were going to non-stop flea markets over the next few days. Remember, great deals on furniture that we can re-do ourselves. You’ve been bookmarking youtube videos for weeks.”

           You smile a bit, before Dick asks, “What’s really bothering you?”

           “When does it start to feel like home?”

           Dick’s arms hold you a bit tighter, “What do you mean, sweetheart?”

           You turn in his arms so that you’re facing him, “Well with the apartment, I walked in and I knew it was home. Then when we walked into this house I got the same feeling. But we’ve painted, and we’re getting ready to get stuff and it still doesn’t feel like home.”

           Dick grins, “That might have something to do with the fact that all we have right now is a couch, a few chairs and our bed.”

           “I miss our apartment. Is it too late to get it back you think?”

            “Considering the fact that someone was moving in the same day we were moving out; I would say yes.” He nudges you a bit, “Now come on, tell me what’s going on.”  

           You look him in the eye and you say, “It’s over.”

           There’s this moment of silence before Dick asks, “Would you care to elaborate? Because my heart is beating so fast it might jump out of my chest.”

           As the words sink in you turn and kiss him; it’s slow, deep, and passionate when you break apart you say, “Sorry, I just heard the words, and that is not what I meant. You and I on, on like donkey kong. We’re happy, and good, and madly in love.”

           Dick smiles, “Well, I would hope so, because I love you like crazy.”

           You smile and place your hand over his heart, “I love you too. What I meant is that, that part of our lives is over, and it makes me a little sad. I know we barely had space to breathe in that little one-bedroom apartment, we had a lot of first there. Our first kiss was there, the first time we were together happened there, we had our first food fight there, it was our first home together, and I’m going to miss it.”

           Dick pulls you in for a kiss this time, “We did have a lot of firsts there. It was an amazing home, but we’re going to have a lot of firsts here too. We can host our first Christmas here, now that we have the room, and we can rollerblade on the floors, like in Matilda, and we can have picnic in the back yard, because we have the space. We could make love under the stars because we have a fence, and some actual privacy now.” He waggles his eyebrows at the last one and you can’t help but laugh.

           “We’ve been together for four years and I haven’t said yes yet, I can’t believe you’re still pushing for that.”

           Dick just shrugs, “What can I say, it’s on my bucket list.” You kiss him again, and he pulls you in a bit closer, “But to be completely honest you and I both know that that little apartment was barely big enough for two of us, let alone three of us.” His hand slides to your slightly protruding bump. “And just think of all the firsts we’ll have with this baby, here. Bringing them home for the first time, birthday parties, play dates, holidays, teaching them how to ride a bike. Maybe even a sibling or two.”  

           You elbow him a bit at the last one, “Let’s get through the first one before we start planning for more please.”

           He kisses your neck, “Deal, but you have to admit, it sounds nice.”

           You smile, “Yeah, it does. It almost makes it seem like home.” He kisses you again and as you relax back in his embrace you begin to doze, and as you fall asleep, you dream of three little boys, who look just like Dick; happy and healthy and smiling, and completely at home.

orphaned (for @rbertsugden

read on ao3

It’s everywhere, and not just on the day itself. For the weeks preceding he’s constantly bombarded with it. Gentle pastel colours. Daffodils and hearts. Curly text telling him to Remember! Mother’s Day is on the 11th of March.

As if he can forget.

When it rolls around, he tries to be okay. Gets out of bed early, does his hair, shaves, puts on one of his best shirts. Maybe he’s trying too hard, but on days like today the only way he knows how to be himself is to turn the volume up to full blast, being as much himself as he can possibly be.

Aaron is careful around him all day. Doesn’t talk about it. Doesn’t say anything about going to see his mum. He doesn’t even mention Liv, who is in Ireland visiting her own mother. Robert appreciates it, but it makes it feel even worse. He doesn’t want to be a black hole. Not today, on a day which is supposed to be about love. It’s not Christmas or Halloween; it feels unfair to be a Grinch about Mother’s Day.

Victoria has invited him to hers in the afternoon. She’s made afternoon tea and Diane is coming over with Doug and Bernice. Robert knows he should go. He should wish Diane a happy mother’s day in person because she deserves that much, but as he’s putting on his jacket to leave, he finds himself frozen on the welcome mat, unable to unlock to door. He can’t face it. Some years he can do the smiles and the lightheaded chatter. But this year he takes a step back from the outside world, hangs his coat up, and goes upstairs to try and sleep some of the day away.

Keep reading

1st month: I cried over you every night and every day I hoped you would come back, maybe fighting for me but you never did. I’m not giving up, I’ll keep waiting maybe you’ll come around and say you love me again. For now I’ll just keep crying and drinking, until I forget my name but I’ll never forget yours.

2nd month: I called you and wanted to talk it out with you. I told you I still loved you and that I really wanted us to last and be a thing again. You started laughing and called me optimistic, you said you never thought this would last, you told me to get over it and that you dont love me anymore. I started crying and you just told me that I need to learn to let go, maybe youre right. I promise you, I’ll try and let go.

3rd month: Not seeing you made it easy for me. I’m over you. At least I think I am. All the other guys distracted me from missing you but I think I still miss you. Maybe because you never made me do things I didn’t want to do. I’m over you. I’m letting go. See I can let go, you were wrong.

4th month: You were right I cant let go. Seeing you again made it worse. It’s worse than ever you didn’t even talk to me when I said “Hi”. I still don’t understand what happend and why you dont love me anymore, I still hope I might have a chance to be yours again.

5th month: You kissed me again. You wanted to be friends with benefits with me because your new girl is not good enough in bed. You just needed someone to fuck and you said and did all that after I told you I still love you. You dont even care about my feelings anymore. I’m nothing to you and it feels like all of this was just a big lie but I still miss you.

6th month: It’s been half a year without you and without feeling alive. I miss you so much, no one could ever replace you. I promise you I tried, he was a good guy, he was so nice to me but I couldn’t use him to try and fix my broken heart. Now I broke his and I feel so guilty. How do you live with that?

7th month: I noticed, I still have your promise ring you gave me to our anniversary, I still have all the pictures of us on my wall and kept all the things you gave me. I wonder what you did with all the letters I wrote you. I think I’ll never be truely over you. Maybe one day I can take the pictures down and be happy with myself. Maybe someday I won’t need you anymore to be content with myself and alive.

—  I’m still trying to get over our break up
I’m BACK!!!

Hello lovelies,
I have no idea how many of you who originally followed my blog and my work are still here or if there is anyone at all still checking my blog, but to all of you who used to, I would like to sincerely apologize. I cannot believe it has been almost two years since I’ve posted, or since I have written a single line for that matter. There are dozens of reasons why I’ve stopped and eventually I might talk about this, but for now I wouldn’t want to bother you with this. I would just like to say that I’ve missed writing so incredibly much and I have missed every single one of you- receiving your feedback, your requests, that feeling I get when I see that someone has actually read what I have put an effort to write…I’ve missed it all.
For that reason, I’ve decided to start again. I can’t promise you anything because I don’t want to let anyone down, I’ll just say that I’ll be taking this one step at a time, and I hope I will be able to stay on track and write and post regularly.
I hope there are still some of my old readers who will see this post and I also hope that some new ones will come along as well. For all of you who might be interested, please message me since REQUESTS are officially OPEN as of this moment, and I’ll be happy to write for each and every one of you. Until I receive any of your requests though, I’ll be posting a Mats Hummels OS in a couple of hours, for one girl who has requested it a long long time ago. Darling, I hope you’re still around and if not, I hope you will see it eventually. <3
Lots of love, and please REQUEST AWAY! <3

blue night radio ♡ 160411

jonghyun: i think “i miss you” is such a good phrase. it’s said often between lovers, but also with friends as well. “hey, i miss you~” or “i’ve been so busy, i want to have a drink with you. i miss you~.” it’s a phrase that you can say comfortably and, perhaps, it might be one of the easiest phrases someone can say to deliver how much they think about or long for another person. sometimes there are things you cannot say because you feel embarrssed. “i miss you” doesn’t feel like too much of a burden to say, and you can still convey your heart (by saying it). (source: thatcoolcatmeow)

Someone save me. God I feel like such a whiny cunt. But you know when you don’t have that person who understood your mental illness anymore and everyone else just thinks you are over reacting or being crazy. I can understand why they might think that, but I can’t help it my brain is just fucked and I can’t always process things in the right way. Instead of my brain going a+b=c like everyone else it decides to just throw the table over, shit in the exam, perform a one woman show and find lance armstrongs missing bollocks. Honestly if you are neurotypical you will never understand the struggle it can be to go through simple everyday tasks. Fuck. Sorry for the rant.

anonymous asked:

I'm single because I have impossible standards that I am aware are impossible but still expect anyone to meet since I'm a hypocritical ass. Also, my heart is full of other people at the moment, and that doesn't seem fair to anyone who I might want to give a shot. Again, not that that is a lot of people. It's stupid and selfish but I feel like shutting myself off anytime someone tries to get close. And I'm scared of missing the one while in a relationship. -annonie 13

damn I get it, especially that last part like I’m also scared of being with anyone just in case they aren’t “the one” but honestly no one will ever be perfect if one doesn’t put effort into relationship from the get-go

What How to Train Your Dragon Says About Friendship

NOTE: This is not a spoiler-free analysis.

The relationship between Hiccup and Toothless is strong, and it is one that fans seem to universally adore.  For a good reason.  It is absolutely gravitating and powerful.  People love watching two broken individuals find one another and bond over their paralleled hurts.  People love watching the silliness between Hiccup and Toothless at the start of How to Train Your Dragon 2 when they wrestle on the ground and tease one another.  People love watching the devotion between Hiccup and Toothless when they risk themselves to save the other.  You really do see a best friendship, and it is glorious to watch.

What I find the most amazing about their friendship, though, is not just the upsides to it.  Instead, I absolutely love how sturdy the friendship is.  Sure, we see many rock solid, incredible, heartwarming friendships throughout movies and books and television shows and comics.  But what I mean about “sturdy” is not just that they remain solidly close throughout the DreamWorks franchise.  What I mean is that they remain solidly close even after trials, which, between most other individuals, would have completely fractured the relationship.

For Hiccup and Toothless were the direct cause of the biggest hurts in each other’s life. 

They isolated each other from their kind.

They caused each other’s physical disabilities.

They both tried to kill each other.

And yet they are wholly and truly 100% best friends. 

It’s not just the friendship that’s powerful.  It’s the friendship that endures through the pain.

The Downed Dragon

First, the simple fact Hiccup and Toothless were able to bond at all is incredible.  Hiccup was the one who downed and injured Toothless, the one who disabled Toothless and made the dragon incapable of flight.  As Gobber said, “A downed dragon is a dead dragon.”  Flight was an essential facet to dragon life, and Hiccup took that away from Toothless.  That’s huge. 

You might ask if Toothless knew Hiccup were the one that shot him down and broke his tail.  Oh yes, I am quite sure he did.  Dragons have a great sense of smell, and I’m sure the bolas Hiccup shot smelled just like Hiccup.  Secondly, after Hiccup shot Toothless down, he approached the dragon with a knife and the clear intent to kill Toothless.  So even if Toothless somehow didn’t connect the smell from his ropes with Hiccup, a boy standing up with a sharp blade yelling at him is a very obvious indication of hostility.  Toothless knew who inflicted this pain on him.  Hiccup should have been an enemy.  Period.

And of course Toothless did not open up to Hiccup immediately.  He was suspicious, growled a lot, and opened up only very slowly.  But the fact he ever took to trusting Hiccup at all is incredible in and of itself.  Not only that, but he started opening up even before Hiccup started fixing his tail.

Would you become friends with someone if you first met them holding a knife up to your chest?  People aren’t so willing to say, “I’m sure it was just a misunderstanding,” with something like that.  People are more likely to say, “I’m not so stupid to take a risk.  That person’s dangerous.  I’m staying away.”

So.  It’s pretty amazing this friendship started at all given it all began with a serious physical injury.

You’re Not a Viking. You’re Not My Son.

I also want to point out that, like Hiccup, Toothless appeared to be a bit of an outcast or anomaly in the Berk dragon world.  Hiccup’s narration at the beginning of the first movie makes it clear that the Night Fury never stole any food – the only species, so far as we know, to act in such a manner.  This made Toothless just as strange to the other dragons as Hiccup would have been to the other Vikings.  Not to mention he was the only one of his species on Berk, so far as we know.  Toothless might have been trying to “fit in” with the other dragons by firing plasma blasts and aiding the food raids, but he was not fully a part of the dragons.

Still, once Toothless was trapped in the cove, he was completely cut off from the other dragons.  He could not mingle with the others.  He was cast aside, injured, and alone.  Because of Hiccup.

And Hiccup’s friendship with Toothless threw him completely out of the Hooligan tribe as well.  He was always an outcast, too, but it was only after the Kill Ring incident that he was told by his own father and chief of the tribe, “You’re not a Viking.  You’re not my son.”  His friendship with Toothless got him disowned.  (And got Toothless captured by the Vikings!).

You can tell Hiccup realizes that his friendship with Toothless landed him here in full isolation.  As he confides to Astrid, he says it would have been better if he had been able “to kill that dragon” back when he first saw him.  Even then, though, we know that Hiccup still feels a great heart for Toothless, and that he never wants to do anything except save his friend.  Which is exactly what he does.

The two of them may have caused each other’s isolation, but they only use that as a point to understand each other, not tear each other apart.

Peg Leg

The movie does not show exactly how Hiccup lost his leg.  I believe I read somewhere that a fan was able to talk to some key figures from the production of How to Train Your Dragon and asked what happened.  Their answer was that Toothless, in the attempt to save Hiccup, grabbed onto his leg with his mouth and ripped it.  Even if that rumor is not true (quite possibly isn’t, knowing the internet), the hypothesis that Toothless is the direct cause of Hiccup’s leg loss is pretty plausible anyway.  Hiccup is falling head-first into the inferno, so his feet are the closest thing to Toothless’ grasp.  And while Toothless does wrap his wings around Hiccup, it appears that based on the timing of Toothless’ wing flap, his wings would have been far away rather than close to Hiccup as they approached the fire.  So Toothless would not have grabbed Hiccup with his wings first, but with his mouth.

Another note is simply a mouth would have been more solid at grabbing someone than wings, and while dragons’ wings are strong (Valka can walk on top of them), I’m sure there would be more control and surety to grabbing Hiccup by the mouth than the wings.

There are alternate explanations to how Hiccup might have lost his leg – maybe when Toothless wrapped his wings around Hiccup, he didn’t wrap anything around Hiccup’s left leg, and thus it was burned away – but I do feel like there is a decent case at least that Toothless played a direct role in Hiccup losing his leg.

Hiccup would have been unconscious when this happened, but if his leg were initially mangled instead of neatly cut off, there would have been a clear way to know that Toothless’s catch – while it ultimately saved his life – also meant that he lost his leg and almost lost his life, too.  And regardless of how he lost his leg, this never would have happened had he not met Toothless and learned the location of the Red Death’s nest.

I feel like there’s no surprise that Hiccup feels no animosity toward Toothless toward this, regardless of how he lost his leg.  Toothless saved his life and there were no ill intentions in this incident at all.  Still, it means that Hiccup and Toothless have a painful parallel in their relationship – Toothless’ missing tail is at the cause of Hiccup, and Hiccup’s missing leg is somewhat at least at the cause of Toothless.  And someone else might easily have looked at Toothless and said, “It would have been better if I’d never met you, because then I never would have lost my leg.”  But Hiccup and Toothless didn’t do that.  They use their injuries as a way to understand each other and become even closer as best friends.

The two of them are best friends because they both have gone through many of the same circumstances.  It’s what makes the bond so close and so plausible to viewers.  But it’s also amazing to think that many of these pains were caused or exacerbated by the other member in the friendship, and yet they still managed to hold close and relate to one another.

You Would Never Hurt Him.  You Would Never Hurt Me.

The How to Train Your Dragon movies are a wonderful arc in the relationship between Hiccup and Toothless.  The first movie is about the rising friendship.  The second is about the friendship at its height.  Five years later, Hiccup and Toothless are incredibly close, leaps and bounds even from how they were in the first movie.

However, it is in this movie, How to Train Your Dragon 2, that we see the friendship closest to breaking. 

Hiccup’s immediate reaction to Stoick’s death is to sob into his father’s arm.  He doesn’t even notice Toothless around until the dragon is incredibly close, and then he reacts explosively, chasing Toothless away and emotionally shouting out, “Get away from him!”  And thus creates a painful rift in their friendship during a scene that is more than painful enough already.

We can always say, “Toothless didn’t mean to do it, so of course they can still be friends,” but thinking about my own personal experience, intentionality doesn’t have to be a justification for why friendships should remain solid or break apart.  For instance, if someone unintentionally but frequently hurts their friend, perhaps that relationship should end.  That pain should be avoided.  Emotional abuse does not even have to be considered intentional in order for it to occur.  And something so serious as your best friend killing your father – regardless of whether or not it was fully “intentional” – is still something to seriously consider before claiming that the friendship should continue.  Someone killing your father is not something that is easily forgivable. 

Would you be able to do that?

Even if you could forgive someone for point-blank killing your father in front of your face, would you feel so inclined to hang out with them again anytime soon?

Would you care so much about your father’s killer minutes after the death happened, that when you saw him taken away by Drago, your immediate shouts would be of concern?

Only minutes after Stoick’s death, and Hiccup showed he still cared and loved Toothless.  Even at that point, he thought primarily about Toothless’ safety over Toothless’ role in the nightmare.


Of course the rift continues.  It’s painful, it’s obvious, it’s not immediately closed, and the pain of two best friends who have serious problems to address is horribly potent.  When Hiccup approaches Toothless a second time, he is incredibly scared.  He might be saying, “You’re my best friend,” and urging Toothless to come back to him, but Hiccup’s eyes are wide with terror and his voice is cracking with fear.  Hiccup still doubts that his friendship with Toothless can continue in the face of Stoick’s death and the Bewilderbeast’s continuing control.  He might even be scared that Toothless will kill him then and there.  After all, Hiccup might be trying to do all he can to save Toothless and save this friendship, but it takes two people to keep a friendship going.

So when Toothless escapes from the Bewilderbeast’s control, Hiccup is shocked and ecstatic.  It means that he has not lost Toothless.  That this relationship will last beyond the aftermath.

There were serious doubts in Hiccup’s mind about whether or not he and Toothless would still be friends after this incident.  The thing was, they both worked together in order to keep the friendship.  Even in the face of tragedy, the two of them worked together to be each other’s support.

So often in this world I see friendships break apart because of significant (or even insignificant) injuries to the other party.  And that is totally understandable.  We avoid the pain.  Don’t want it to happen again and take precautions, preventions.  But Hiccup and Toothless have injured each other far, far, beyond what has destroyed other friendships.  And I think that’s an important take-away for everyone.

For anything can break a friendship.  And friendship can withstand through anything.  It is not about what happens in a relationship that determines whether or not it will survive – it depends on how the two people in that relationship work together to combat the problems that arise.  If the two individuals in that relationship both work on building a bridge, they can withstand any trial.  Even if that trial is the death of a father at the cause of said best friend.

(And Hiccup probably has nightmares about it.  About Toothless shooting that plasma blast.  Maybe at Stoick.  Maybe a horrible twist where it’s Astrid or someone else he loves.  And then he wakes up in the morning and says hello to his best friend.  Just throwing that out there.)

Hiccup and Toothless never seem to question whether or not the good outweighs the bad in their relationship.  There’s no question there.  There’s only a focus on the positives.  Rather than pointing out how they have injured one another, they focus on the blessings that their bond has brought them, the good experiences that their friendship has given them, and they fight to keep that going.  And because of that, the two of them can withstand everything and comfort one another even for the pains they have caused each other.

In many cases, their friendship landed them in painful situations that they would not have experienced had they never met each other.  In a few of those significant cases, they were very closely linked – sometimes even the direct cause – of those hurts.

This friendship is beautiful because of its laughter and its sacrifice.  All the joys and the tears.  All the adventures they have together.  But what takes my breath away the most is this undying loyalty.

This unconditional love.

anonymous asked:

nina! pls write dodgeball captain liam fic! it sounds awesome.

It’s almost the end of junior year and he can’t believe what he has accomplished, how things have come together for him. A year ago he wouldn’t have even thought that one day he’d be playing his final game of the Dodgeball Championship, let alone captaining the game himself. There was a time nobody knew who he was, when teachers forgot what his name was. And now, there isn’t a single person in school who doesn’t know who he is; Liam Payne, the fucking Captain of the Dodgeball Team. But on top of that, above everything else, what Liam could never have seen coming, was Zayn Malik.  

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Happy Holidays, all! I really want you all to know that I appreciate your mutual follows and being able to see you on my dash! Being able to come on this website surely has changed my life, and I have you all to thank for it! This is just a simple token of my appreciation for (some of) my favorite blogs - I hope you all have wonderful holidays!

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Well, once again, thank you all so much for a wonderful year! I do want to briefly mention that I had a lot of blogs to go through and between that and holiday urls, it is likely some people got missed. For that, I do apologize, and if you feel like you or someone else deserved to be on here, then drop by and tell me so! If not, you can still check out my blogroll for all the amazing blogs I might have missed.

I hope everyone has a great holiday and end of the year!! :*

anonymous asked:

Vikaaaa I miss the livestreams! there's no date for another soon? It's okey if not but *-* I just wanna know~ P.s. I love that Hyori and her boys post 7u7r

thank you!!*3*~

I usually livestream whenever I feel like and sometimes it still ends up short because I end up not as enthusiastic and inspired as I initially thought, but I’ll try to livestream whenever I have a chance!

Normally I post links on twitter, but if someone wants I might post them on tumblr as well:3