and i still do not understand how are you real

I absolutely love all the space australia/ humans are weird/space orcs things going around, so I haven’t been able to stop thinking about stuff like metaphors and idioms and figurative speech. Like, what if those had been purely human concepts?

Human: “He really broke Omar’s heart”

Alien: “What?? Is Omar still alive? Can he be healed? Is it culturally appropriate to seek out revenge?”

Human: “No, no, like… He hurt him badly.”

Alien: “Yes I understand that your cardiovascular system is important.”

- - -

Human: “She’s a real wolf in sheep’s clothing.”

Alien: “What is a wolf?”

Human: “It’s a predator - you know, the one dogs descent from?”

Alien: “… She looks human. How do you know the value of her clothes?”

- - -

Human: “That dickhead stabbed me in the back”

Alien: “MEDIC!!!!”

- - -

Human 1: “Wish me luck!”

Human 2: “Break a leg!”

*Horrified aliens in the background*

Love Notes from the Venus Signs

Venus in Aries:     
     It was like a moment of clarity, the day we met; a sunny blur cast on morning dew and you glimmered like the god damn ocean itself. Maybe I shouldn’t have grabbed your hand, or I shouldn’t have run or screamed, “you- attractive one.” But when you see so much light in one person, you just have to do it. Nothing matters, then, just them. Just you.

Venus in Taurus:
     I never fancied romance novels because there was too much plot and too little character. Men aren’t so dynamic and girls can’t hold their tongues. But you have the finesse of fine wine. In your silence I find comfort and in your irritation I know that what we are is real. Because books don’t explain the way a lover’s hand on your hip can silence the chaos in your mind and lull you to sleep. You are the most difficult person I’ve ever had the pleasure of interacting with, and I will fight for us, I will fight for our love.

Venus in Gemini:
    I don’t know where to start. Remember that bird we saw a few days ago- yeah the pigeon I think. Well I know you think street birds are dirty, but when it flew off into the air and circled us, you wrinkled your nose a little. You didn’t see me smiling because you were watching the pigeon, but I was mesmerized. You’re beautiful, not just because of your nose or eyes or wonderfully erotic body, but because of everything you do. And when you pulled me away for cover, I couldn’t stop laughing. Partly because you stepped in a big wad of gum, but partly because I’ve never been this happy. I love you.

Venus in Cancer:
   Nights with you are the best. Your arms are a coven, a person reminder that I am part of something greater than myself, that I am worth something. Before you, there was a loneliness that never left, a creep of darkness that followed me and swarmed me as I slept. You are my everything. I will support every decision you make, I will be here when you can’t hold a strong front- when life gets too hard. Because, love, if anyone understands, it’s me. And I know how to be soft, how to hold you until your tears dry and how to bake your favorite cookies. I will tell you I love you every morning and every night as long as we are together, and I will mean it every time.

Venus in Leo:
   People saw a lot in me, maybe they still do. You always have. The thing about people is they come and go, but they don’t know me. You know the way I like to sleep in until noon and what dumb memes will make me laugh. You know how to make me feel special when everyone else sees someone who doesn’t exist. Your kisses are important to me, not because you mean it, but because you understand who I am and you’re still willing to fight for me. Cuddle me into the night and tell me those joke your coworkers like, they make me giggle. I love you for everything that you do, I love you for making me feel real. 

Venus in Virgo:
    This is a confession, nothing more and nothing less. I am neurotic. I find solace in cleaning and can’t have sex knowing that their are dishes in the sink. I know that I am riddled with a touch of crazy, but you see more in me. You find me charming and understand that everything I do for you is because I love you. For whatever reason, telling you isn’t easy enough. I want to show you. I want to help you shop for groceries and then satisfy you fully in bed. I want you to know that I can change for you, but you never seem to mind my quirks. You are how I know love exists. 

Venus in Libra:
    My divine, I never doubted your existence. I wish I could have saved every first experience to share with you, and only you. There is a softness when you look at me, when you graze my body and conjoin our fingers until they are so tightly interlocked I believe we may never separate. It is in your presence, in your spontaneous flowers and mountain retreats, that I know this is where I’m meant to be. Nothing is full without you. Even in your bitterness I am contented, although I will do anything you make you happy. You are my whole heart, my other half, my love. 

Venus in Scorpio:
    The world is cruel. We grow up with pain, reoccurring and pungent in our viscera. It doesn’t always heal either. And people will cause it with their carelessness, using others as if they are puppets. It is in you that I can heal, from your scent, within your laugh, and in the breath of your sleep. There is purity within you, a truth that I am fixated upon. I want to delve into the depth of your mind and comfort your pains, I want to hold you and understand you until you are fully exposed and fully fixed from the trials of your past. There is no person as rich with depth as you, no person so worthy of complete love. You have given to me without hesitation, and I long to share with you everything I have.

Venus in Sagittarius:
    The world seems small when you think about it long enough, or when you look up at the midnight sky and see the flaming memories of stars that once were. We are that, a microcosm of existence- a memory recurring time and time again. But no matter how small I am, I am overwhelmed with the concept of you and you totality. There is no person worth this short trip, no one except you. Your company is valuable, your opinions intrigue me, and you have a curiosity for this world that rivals mine. It’s okay that we fight, I think, even when you’re wrong. You are a star in my mind, ever-present until the day I die, and maybe in another lifetime. 

Venus in Capricorn:
    I am not one to share myself. I find solace in safety, I find solace in predictability. You fight everything I have refused to share. You don’t let me leave, even when I’m certain that I’m best left to my own devices. I never wanted you gone, I never wanted silence between us, but my head is raging with fear. I can’t handle heartbreak and I can’t handle humiliation. I promise that as long as you don’t let me leave, I will help you. I will be loyal, I will hold you when you sleep, and I will be here when you need support. You are worth the risk an I love you with all that I am.

Venus in Aquarius:
   There are moments where I find myself totally lost and totally irrational. The moment I knew I’d fallen for you was when you’d become too invested. I thought I’d drop you like I’d done with others in the past, but I couldn’t. You were too important- someone I cared about, someone I craved to touch. And now, honey, I think about you every freakin’ day. I think about you from the crack of dawn to the moment I fall asleep. And even when I need to be alone, I think about you. You’re special: curious, insightful, interesting. I see the world in you. And now, well, nothing can convince me we’re better apart. I love you with every strange thing I am.

Venus in Pisces:
   Nothing blisters my skin so gently as your morning kisses, which I cherish. The haze of midnight holds your last breath, the one before I elicit the most delicious of moans, and fall into a daze of dreams about us. I am hopelessly risen from this earthly pull, I am devoted to our love, one which I knew to be destined. With you I will be ever-present, and ever-kind. You are what makes flowers bloom and raindrops crystallize. With you, I am completely enamored and totally in love.

2 March, 2017

I was afraid to be happy. Genuinely afraid—

that I’d look back upon my present grin and see nothing but complacency and settlement; that the unforgivably significant small moments I’d been holding on to so dearly would reveal themselves to be nothing but guises; that what I was experiencing was not happiness at all, but rather a deliberately placed shield, by my own hand, in an effort to avoid the inevitable conclusion that I’m…well, that I’m not happy.

But then again, I have to ask: what makes this any more real? Sitting in Caitlin’s apartment kitchen, looking out the window to the first piece of blue sky I’ve seen in a week, feeling the island work itself into my complex sensory—what makes this genuine and the former not? Because I’m tempted to say that it’s all relative, that happiness isn’t some blanket statement applying equally to all that seek it. Because wasn’t I happy then? Walking into work, seeing her sweater vest of the day and long dark hair, feeling a jump in my step; practicing solitary life, then rejoicing when I found love again; acting so genuinely as myself that it ceased feeling like myself? Because I feel genuine in saying that this isn’t any more me than the me that typically exists…I’ve just faced more resistance, more questioning, cursory looks at who I am, that I’m forced to wear it proudly.

Then, I fear, I was so deeply comfortable that I forgot when to fight.

But I am not the product of segmented thrill, moments tediously chosen to drag me through those less than. I am not the thoughts that I think, the people I meet, or the places I am. If I believe in anything, it’s that what’s to come will always be greater simply because I understand what I didn’t before: that I will never reach static gratitude, nor love, nor simplicity, but will eternally oscillate between.

So, it’s clear to say, I’m not sure who I’ll be when I return. I don’t know how I’ll be with others in the way I did, so confident with love and direction. How can I look into the faces of those I’ve broken myself for and feel that they still deserve? How can I love, genuinely, knowing they’ve disregarded my heart?

And, most pressing, what do you do when complacency falls out of step, and real love falls in?

I may be wrong, but I think I’m about to find out.

J.S.


Location: Waipio Valley, Island of Hawaii
Instagram: plvntstrong

legacy-game  asked:

how did you do the rig? can we get a breakdown, its a really inventive design

Hey yeah! I’ll explain it real fast but’s it’s a bit complicated. If you don’t know maya you won’t understand anything, sorry. I won’t explain the basics (how to skin, how to place follicules or how to link things in the Connection Editor, you’ll easily find tutorial for those on internet) i’m just gonna (try to) explain how i made the eye slip on the shape. Also i still use maya <3

Keep reading

The One Where He Forgets

Pairing: Jughead Jones x Reader

Summary: Jugheads preoccupied trying to solve Jason Blossom’s murder and forgets your birthday in the process. 

A/N: riverdale imagines soon!!!

MASTERLIST (mobile and desktop)
(you can like it and save it for later!)


Friday nights were usually quiet for you and Jughead but as of lately, he’d been restless, trying to solve the case of Jason Blossom.

In a way you were glad he had something to focus on – he’d been pretty bummed out over his dad lately.

“Cake?” you ask him, holding out your plate as you join him on your bed. He shakes his head, dragging him thumb over his bottom lip as his eyes skim an article on his laptop.

“What are you reading?”

“Hm? Just – just something,” he shrugs, angling the screen away from you.

That was the only part that sucked.

Since he’d formed his super team with Betty, Archie and Veronica, you’d felt left out. But it didn’t seem fair to complain about him making friends where he lacked in family; you wanted him to be happy, you just wanted to be a part of it.

“So, for my birthday this weekend I was thinking we could just grab dinner. Just you and me,” you raise a brow, “Mom’s out of town as usual and I don’t feel like throwing a party.”

“Isn’t that your favourite pass time?” he asks, smiling slightly as he keeps reading.

“Not since I started dating you,” you nudge him, “I know that stuff isn’t your scene and it’s important to me that we spend my birthday together. It’s our one year anniversary,” you say.

Jughead had crashed your birthday last year, unwillingly, when Archie dragged him to it. The parties you threw were big ones, all social groups at the school came and you liked it that way – everyone mixing together.

You were surprised to see Jughead and somehow the two of you hit it off and ended up dating. Jughead always joked about how it was the most unusual way to start dating someone for him – you were the opposite of his type.

But after a year of dating him, the two of you were almost the same person. You’d adapted each other’s habits and found a way to get around the ones that you couldn’t.

“That sounds perfect, y/n,” he says, pressing a kiss to your cheek before turning to his laptop.

You lean against the headboard with a small smile, satisfied. Jughead wasn’t about big romantic gestures, he did small things that touched your heart and you couldn’t wait to see what he did for your one year and birthday. You’d gotten him a few journals and a new lens for his camera to surprise him.


Saturday rolled around and Jughead cancelled early in the morning and you tried to be okay with it. You had all of Sunday, like he had promised.

But deep down you knew Sunday would be the same.

It wasn’t. It was worse.

You glance up at the wall clock at Pop’s, sighing as you take a sip of your milkshake. Your eyes had gone over every detail in the booth. The frayed vinyl on the corners of the chairs. Thepermanent stain on the left side of the table. The broken straw dispenser that only worked if you pushed two fingers through the gap and pulled out a straw yourself, by which time it was all crumpled up and your fingers cut a little.

But still, no Jughead.

At least if he made it by midnight it would still be your birthday and you wouldn’t have spent it alone.

But the clock strikes 12 and you’re still sitting alone in the booth. You rest your head on the table, the cold metal sending chills up your spine.

“Refill?”

You look up to find a waitress with a pot of coffee.

“No thanks,” you mumble, shaking your head. You sling your bag over your shoulder and pick up Jughead’s present, heading for the door. You catch your reflection in it. Your makeup had worn off a little and your dress was all crumpled from sitting down for so long.

And then he appears outside the window, alongside Betty, Archie and Veronica.

You walk out into the carpark, your fists balled up by your sides.

“Shit,” Jughead mumbles, lacing his hands behind his head as he spots you, “I forgot, I’m so sorry,” he says as you reach him. He rests his hands on your shoulders, “I’ll make it up to you.”

“It doesn’t matter,” you sigh, not wanting to make a scene. You hold his present out, “My birthday’s already over but our anniversary isn’t so…”

He takes it out of your hands, staring at you apologetically, “Y/N-“

“It’s fine, Jughead,” you say, stepping away from him. It wasn’t. It wasn’t okay at all.

“It must’ve been important, whatever you were doing-“ you pause, looking over his shoulder at his friends, “I’ll let you get back to it.”

“Wha – no,” he shakes his head, “Come back inside. I’ll buy you dinner.”

“I already ate,” you lie, “I’m just gonna go home. I don’t feel too good,” you force a smile, “I’ll see you at school,” you wave at his friends, “Bye you guys.”

Before he can try stop you, you climb into your car and begin to drive off. You could see him watching you, frustrated with himself, but you leave anyway.


Monday was officially your least favourite day. Usually you loved it because you had first period with Jughead and the two of you would grab breakfast at Pop’s before class, but today, you were dreading it for all the same reasons.

You skip breakfast, getting to school right before the bell.

“I was waiting for you at Pop’s,” Jughead frowns as he leans against the locker next to yours.

“Yeah, I had to come to school early for an assignment,” you lie.

His frown deepens, “You literally just came in. I saw your car pull up,” he inhales deeply, “You’re avoiding me.”

“No,” you say defensively.

He sighs, slumping, “I feel like a total asshole for the weekend. I – I can’t believe I stood you up on our anniversary but I really hate myself for leaving you alone on your birthday.”

“Jughe-“

“Pop told me you didn’t eat a thing all night,” he says, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, “And even still, when you saw me outside you didn’t get mad, you just left.”

“Did you want me to get mad in front of your friends?”

“No, I just – I don’t understand how you’re so… understanding,” he mumbles, “I’ve been a real dick.”

“Yeah, you have,” you say, closing your locker, “And I’m not that understanding, Jughead. I get hurt by the stuff you do, I just –“

“What?”

“I don’t say anything because I don’t want to lose you. You hate drama and you pretty much hate relationships. I don’t want to push it with you because then you’ll… leave me.”

His eyes widen and he pulls you into a hug, “You do not have to stifle how you feel because you’re afraid to lose me. That will never happen,” he promises, “I love you and you can be mad at me and right now, if I were you, I’d punch me in the face.”

“Your arm will do,” you mumble.

“Huh? OW!” he grumbles, clutching his arm dramatically as you punch him weakly, “I know you can do better than that,” he laughs.

“Wouldn’t want to break your arm,” you scoff.

“Good point,” he nods, “But I give you permission to if I screw up tonight.”

“Tonight?”

He smiles, “I have a very special night planned,” he says, wiggling his brows, “Well, I had a special morning planned but you didn’t show up… we can reheat cereal, right? You don’t mind if it’s soggy, do you?” he teases.

“Shut up,” you laugh, rolling your eyes.

angsty starters ( + sad qoutes / song lyrics. )
  • "I love you enough to let you go,"
  • "I heard you moved on,"
  • "I didn't come here to hurt you,"
  • "Where did you go?"
  • "I'm sorry we fell in love."
  • "We'll do everything on our own."
  • "I'm so sorry,"
  • "You'll never understand."
  • "Please don't go,"
  • "I still love you,"
  • "I don't love you anymore."
  • "I never loved you,"
  • "I can't do this."
  • "We can't be together!"
  • "Will I ever see you again?"
  • "May we meet again,"
  • "I promise I'll do better,"
  • "I just want to see you, one more time."
  • "I'd give anything to see you one more time."
  • "One last time?"
  • "I don't deserve you,"
  • "You don't deserve me,"
  • "People like us don't get happy endings,"
  • "You still love me?"
  • "I never meant to hurt you,"
  • "I understand..."
  • "If you want to go, it's okay."
  • "I gave up everything for you!"
  • "I really need you to trust me,"
  • "Can you listen to me for once!"
  • "I cheated on you,"
  • "You cheated on me?"
  • "Don't expect me to come crawling back,"
  • "Shame on me, you fooled me twice."
  • "You said I wasn't just like anyone."
  • "Did I even ever cross your mind?"
  • "Can we pretend that we're in love?"
  • "I can't lose you,"
  • "Please go,"
  • "Don't you dare die on me!"
  • "I'm not losing you again!"
  • "I'm incomplete without you,"
  • "I will love you for the rest of my life,"
  • "So this is goodbye?"
  • "Kiss me goodbye."
  • "I loved them and they died."
  • "I was a bet?"
  • "You were nothing but a bet."
  • "Can you hold me?"
  • "I loved and I lost you."
  • "It's okay,"
  • "The worst day of loving someone is when you lose them."
  • "It hurts like hell,"
  • "I'm not coming back."
  • "You're never coming back?"
  • "What do you mean you're dying!"
  • "Come back to me,"
  • "What happened?!"
  • "They're dead!"
  • "Where's my love,"
  • "Don't do this,"
  • "I'll see you again."
  • "There's nothing we can do to bring them back."
  • "I don't want to be alone anymore,"
  • "You promised you'd never leave me."
  • "First love, you remember what that's like?"
  • "If I don't have you I have nothing at all,"
  • "I'm not going to fight you,"
  • "You're my friend."
  • "It's too late to apologize."
  • "You left me!"
  • "You left us!"
  • "You chose them over me,"
  • "I need you,"
  • "I was hoping that you'd stay."
  • "I never lied to you,"
  • "You said you might die so what the hell?"
  • "It's a bad joke,"
  • "We can never be the same again,"
  • "You don't need you,"
  • "You're not alone."
  • "You broke my heart."
  • "It made me think of you."
  • "You're my world."
  • "Do I wanna know?"
  • "So sad to see you go,"
  • "This is it, isn't it."
  • "Now I just sit in silence."
  • "Are you okay?"
  • "Are you hurt?"
  • "I'll go with you."
  • "How bad is it?"
  • "My feelings for you are real, they always have been."
  • "Someday you'll understand."
  • "Because I love you,"
  • "There was just something about them,"
  • "I'm sorry for breaking your heart."
  • "It wasn't an act."
  • "Time doesn't heal everything."
  • "This is your fault!"
  • "Tell me what to do!"
  • "I didn't mean for this to happen."
  • "Everythings a mess."
  • "You ruined my life,"
  • "Do you still love me?"
  • "You gotta get up, we have to go."
  • "It's okay,"
  • "It was nothing,"
  • "I'll do something."
  • "You're safe here,"
  • "Don't forget me."
  • "I ruined this,"
  • "You ruined this."
  • "Quiet is violent."
  • "You promised me!"
  • "Stop lying with those words."
  • "If this is some kind of sick joke, you better tell me!"
  • "You're all I have!"
  • "I'm not ready to say goodbye."
  • "I don't want to go,"
  • "I loved you,"
  • "You don't have to do this,"
  • "I'm afraid it's never going to be okay again."
  • "I'm terrified,"
  • "You're a monster."
  • "You're all I have!"
  • "I'm a monster."
  • "Only fools fall for you,"
  • "Everything comes to an end,"
  • "I thought I loved you."
  • "Now I just sit in silence."
  • "It's unbearable."
  • "You're my first love."
  • "I never wanted to hurt you,"
  • "I was here,"
  • "Help me,"
  • "They won..."
  • "You don't love them."
  • "You're breaking my heart,"
  • "I hate you!"
  • "It's a waste of time,"
  • "You're all I want."
  • "I've always loved you!"
  • "I can pretend anymore."
  • "i didn't have a choice!"
  • "What if it's agony now and it's hell later on?"
  • "Love I will let you go,"
  • "I left behind something great."
  • "I want you back,"
  • "I don't regret any of it, not if it kept you safe."
  • "Get over yourself,"
  • "You'll be the death of me."
  • "Everything just fell apart."
  • "What the hell am I doing here?"
  • "I want you so much but I hate your guts."
  • "I found love where it wasn't supposed to be."
  • "You still like them, don't you?"
  • "What are you doing?!"
  • "I did this to protect you!"
  • "Don't cry,"
  • "I'm not crying,"
  • "I'm dying,"
  • "A-Are you alright?"
  • "I'll come back for you."
  • "I've never felt so alone."
  • "You don't love me! You don't even know me!"
  • "I don't even know who you are anymore."
  • "I don't even know who I am anymore,"
  • "Please let me do this for you."
  • "You're one of the lucky ones."
  • "It's never going to be okay."

[Tim is sitting on the floor, in the dark, surrounded by paper and what looks like the contents of an entire coffeehouse. Harper enters and turns on the light]

Harper(Looking around and trying to understand what she’s seeing): …Um? Tim?

Tim(Staring unblinking into The Void): Harper, how old do you think I am?

Harper(Hazarding a guess more to humor him than anything else): Fifteen? Dude, these all nighters have to stop, it’s like, 3 A.M-

Tim(Turning to her with what looks like great difficulty): I’m sixteen. And do you know how long I’ve been sixteen for?

Harper: I… I’m sorry, I don’t think I understand what you’re-

Tim: No, you wouldn’t, would you? You haven’t been here long enough to notice. Time stands still here. Oh, something passes, but it’s not real time. They can’t create real time.

Harper(Nodding slowly and choosing not to ask who ‘they’ are): Uh huh. Hey, uh, just out of curiosity, nothing at all to do with you sounding like even more of a conspiracy freak than usual, did you drink ALL of these? Because I’m pretty sure that amount of caffeine is fatal for anything smaller than a water buffalo and-

Tim(Making an effort to smile): I’ve been sixteen since 2003.

Harper: …Oh?

Tim(Giving up on smiling to lie face down on the floor): It was bad enough the first year. 

Crown of Flowers

Plot: You’re not feeling good with yourself and Draco notices it and comes to talk to you.

Warnings: Fluffy, body issues.

Word Count: 1.003

Author’s Note: English is NOT my first language, so if there are grammatical mistakes, you can text me and I’ll correct them. In case you don’t know, (h/c) means Hair Color, (e/c) means Eye Color and (s/c) means Skin Color. Hope you all like it. (ᵔᴥᵔ)

Originally posted by jupiter-fox

Originally posted by sharnah99omd

I sat on the grass in front of the Black Lake and took off my shoes. My feet were sore at the end of the day, but I wasn’t surprised. They carried all my weight, how could they not be sore. I sighed, running my hands through my (h/c) hair. In the last days, for some reason, I wasn’t feeling that good with myself, and I avoided mirrors like Devil avoids the cross. I felt so ugly, so fat… That thoughts were killing me, because they did not came alone. They brought other insecurities that broke me even more. One in particular was getting me out of my mind.

Why is Draco with me?

When I saw him talking to the other Slytherin girls, I started thinking that maybe he did not needed me at all. I mean, they were prettier, anyone could see that, so what did I had of spacial? Why did he picked me? What if he realizes I have nothing to offer and leave me? That questions were slowly depressing me, and making me get away from my friends and from Draco his self.

My eyes got field with tears, and I let myself fall apart, because I wasn’t strong enough to keep them from falling down my cheeks. I was so tired, I just wanted to be pretty, to be gracious like the beauxbatons girls… Truth be told, I was feeling shitty since they showed up, two years ago, but now, it was stronger.

Of course I did not wanted to feel like that, but how could I stop myself? Tears kept falling, and I sobbed. God, why am I so weak? Why can’t I love myself like a normal person? I kept asking the same questions, without finding the answers.

“Elena?” I heard a voice behind me and turned my head to see my boyfriend walking to me his tie loose on his neck, his blonde hair messed. I cleaned my cheeks as fast as I could so he wouldn’t realize I was crying, but  when he sat by my side I realized how useless it had been; his gray eyes showed how much he was worried about me, and I felt guilty for a second. This was not his fault, he shouldn’t be feeling like that. “What’s wrong?” He asked, his hand reaching out to my face, wiping a tear that had insisted on staying there.

“It’s nothing important, Draco. Don’t worry, please.”

“How am I suppose to not worry about you? You’re my girlfriend, I have to. Someone did something to you and you don’t want to give the person in, is that? If it was that guy from hufflepuff again, I swear I’ll beat the fuck out o…”

“Malfoy, it’s not him, ok?” I interrupted him. “It’s not anyone, it’s me.”

“What do you mean?” He asked.

“I… I don’t want to talk about this, and I don’t know if I’m able to.”

“You know I’m not going to judge you, right? Talk to me, Elena, I want to help you. What’s the point of dating each other if we’re going to keep secrets?” His left hand held mine, his thumb pressing the ring he gave me. I knew what that meant. His left arm had the dark mark. “We promised, remember? Nothing between us.”

“I… I don’t feel good, Draco. With myself.” I whispered.

“Keep going. Talk to me, Princess.” He used my nickname to encourage me.

“I don’t like the way I look, that’s nothing else to say about it.” My eyes filled up again, and I looked down, incapable of facing my boyfriend.

“It’s my fault, isn’t it?” He said.

“How could this possible be your fault, Draco?”

“I’m your boyfriend, I’m suppose to support you whenever you need me, but I’m just to busy with my own problems to pay attention on you.” He was mad, and I got to say, that scared me a little. “I should make you feel perfect, not worthless.”

“Malfoy, listen to me, you can’t blame yourself for what’s happening to me. I know you love me, I have the proof in your left arm, the problem is that I can’t love myself, and that’s nothing you can do to change this.”

“Will see if that’s true.” He said, pulling me closer to his chest. I could almost feel the determination on his voice.


For the next week, Draco wouldn’t leave my side. He’d walk with his arm around my waist, kiss my face and neck all the time and whisper “you’re beautiful” in my ear. During class, he would hold my hand and caress it with his thumb. In lunch time, he dragged me to an empty classroom and kissed me passionately. I confess, I enjoyed that a lot, and so did my ego.

After dinner one night, the blonde asked me to wait for him in the Common Room, even through everyone was in bed already. I did what he asked, waiting in the couch, reading to distract me. When he walked in, he had his hands behind his back, hiding something.

“Ok, what’s that Malfoy?” I asked, curious.

“I know you said this wasn’t my fault, but still I feel like I should take care of you. I love you a lot, Elena, I couldn’t leave without you, and I also know you think I’ve proved that join… You know what, but the truth is that nothing I do will never really show how much I care ‘bout you. They call me the Slyterin Prince, but you’re the real Queen of Slytherin and of my heart.” I smiled at his speech and he held out a crown of white roses. My favorite flower. “You deserve all the crowns in the world, love.”

I kissed him passionately, smiling and understanding for the first time that I did not had to be perfect in the world’s eyes if I have always been and will always be in the eyes of the one I love.

First pencil test I ever did by planning everything using  charts, and although there’s still a lot of issues here, I’m very happy that I’m at least starting to understand how to incorporate them into my workflow(mainly due to this great tutorial I recommend to EVERYONE). I’m really excited about this strategy because it gives you a clear path where the animation is going from the beginning, so you don’t end up with something you didn’t want at all. Also, it’s way easier to hit accents that way, so I can FINALLY try to do some real lip synch animation :)

Pool Day (Harry Styles x Reader)

Request: Pool day with Harry please

A/N: This is my first Harry imagine! I hope you guys like this and enjoy it as well! Feedbacks are appreciated, I also open for criticism! It’s the only way I can improve my writing! So have fun! xoxo

Word count: 1,306


“Finally.” I sighed I took place on my deck chair. The moment I sat down and leaned back, I instantly began to relax. The sun was shining very bright today, which was typical for L.A. and I enjoyed its warmth on my half naked body. It left a comfortable feeling on my skin. After a long time, I could finally relax and calm down for a while. The last months had been very tough though.

I had to struggle with college and work, at the same time I tried to keep balance between my private life and the spotlight. Dating a celebrity was definitely not easy. I knew that before I started to date Harry Styles. He told that we didn’t have to make our relationship official to the public, however I wanted him to. I wanted everybody to know that Harry Styles was taken, so nobody could hit on him anymore. He was mine, only mine and he always would be. I wouldn’t share him with another females.

Also our relationship suffered under the pressure of Harry’s comeback. He almost spent his whole day by giving interviews or promoting his new album. The lack of his presence made me very lonely. We were only able to communicate by sending text messages or having a phone call for five to ten minutes. Not that I wasn’t happy for him, no, I was very proud of him. “Sign of the times” was a great success in many countries and made its way up to 1st place in the charts. How could not I be proud of my boyfriend? I just missed him during that time. Some nights, I really needed his comfort because college was getting on my nerves and sleeping in his arms was the only thing that would lull me to sleep.

Luckily, the times of loneliness were over. Harry had time for me now and we decided to have a pool day outside his huge villa.

“You look damn hot in that bikini.” Someone whispered in my ear, making my whole body flinch. I opened my eyes and was greeted by the green orbs of my handsome boyfriend. He had a cheeky smile on his lips, which made me smile as well.

“You don’t look bad yourself.” I commented.  My eyes wandered down his whole body and I bit on my lip. I know the entire world is aware of how sexy Harry is, but I want to repeat that Harry fucking Styles looked extremely appetizing and handsome, especially the way he was standing in front of me.

He wore some tight swimming trunks that outlined the shape of his thighs and bum. And not to mention his very muscular and well-built chest.  Simply heavenly!  I could really consider myself as lucky. Out of millions of girls in this entire world, I was the only one who could gain Harry Styles’ attention. I still had no idea how, but nevertheless I was happy to be the only girl by his side.

“Easy there, darling. You’re practically devouring me with your eyes.” Harry remarked. I immediately tore my gaze away from him, feeling my cheeks getting slightly red.

“Sorry.” I murmured. Harry only laughed about it, giving me a gentle kiss on my forehead.

“Turn around, love.” He told me, grabbing the sun cream bottle and putting some lotion in his hands. Then, he began to rub the lotion on my exposed back, massaging it up to my shoulders and arms. I closed my eyes and enjoyed how his hands did their wonders.  

“I really missed this. “ I said. There was no chasing by paparazzi, no problems, no stress. Only me and Harry.  We could finally hang out without being disturbed by fans, and stupid photographers or Harry’s manager.  

“Me too. I missed being with you. You have no idea how much I missed us.” Harry said, after he finished sun creaming my back. He leaned forward, so I could feel his lips slightly touching my neck. The feeling of his soft lips on my tender skin left tingles behind in my belly. Only he would make me feel this way. I couldn’t describe my feelings for this young man. I just love him so much.

“I promise,” He whispered into my ear. “From now on, we’ll be spending much time together, like we used to do. We need to catch up after all.”

“Sounds fine to me.” I sighed. As Harry pulled back, a disappointed sound left escaped my lips.

“I’m going to swim a few rounds.” He said. “Care to join me?” I shook my head.

“I want to relax for a while.”

Harry pouted but nodded, took a start-up and run to the pool where he jumped into. I leaned back on my comfy deck chair. My eye s followed every move that Harry made. How he would swim six tracks and how he would dive into the water. I was mesmerized by his beauty. Not only that, Harry was such an amazing person with a wonderful heart. It bothered me how the media tried to destroy his reputation by spreading awful rumors about him. People once described him as a womanizer which was completely bullshit. Harry’s not the person who would treat women like trash, no he respected them with his whole heart. The media showed him the way they wanted him to be. Nobody would know the real Harry except for me, his family and closest friends.

I still do not understand how people would think badly about him. I mean just look at him and tell me that he’s the most innocent, gentle and kind person you have ever seen.

“Come on, love!” Harry shouted after a few minutes. “I’m getting bored without you. Swimming makes no fun when you’re not here!”

“I don’t want to now! Just let me relax!”

“Babe!” You could see that he was slightly frustrated about me not joining him yet.

“Give me a few more moments!”

I heard how he climbed out of the pool and how his footsteps came closer to me. Suddenly, his strong tattooed arms were wrapped around my body and I was lifted up, being pressed against his hard chest. A surprised scream left my mouth even though I should have seen this coming. “You’ve relaxed a lot!” Harry growled.

I tried to wiggle out of his grip however I couldn’t escape. Harry carried me closer to the pool and stopped at the edge of the basin. “Harry!” My voice trembled. “Let me down!” He only shook his head, looking mischievously into my eyes. His lips curled up to a cheeky grin.

“Harry, I swear if you-“

“One!” Harry started to count. I punched him slightly on his chest, hoping he would let me down. But he didn’t. “Harry no!”

He offered me a laugh. “Two!”

“Harry, you wouldn’t dare!”

“And three!”  I took a deep breath before Harry jumped into the pool with me in his arms. Cool water surrounded our bodies and I shuddered as my skin made contact with it. Soft lips were pressed against mine and Harry stole a kiss from my lips under the water. He also grabbed me on my hips and pushed me towards him, holding me tightly. He smiled into our kiss. As the lack of air threatened to leave our lungs, we swam back to the surface.  Even though I was lightly mad I couldn’t help but smile to his sweet intention.

“You’re an idiot, Harry Styles.” I laughed, boxing him slightly on his right arm.

“Yeah, but I’m your idiot, darling.” He said, and kissed me again.

We spent the whole sunny day with swimming and splashing water towards each other, laughing and having fun. Days like this, where we were care-free and happy, were definitely my favorites.

02aya  asked:

I was wondering, what do you find to work well for practicing hands? Practice (copying refs? Draw your own? Idk >^< Cjgdxhjkjcxcv, I LOVE how you draw them! So "flowy" and fun! QAQ)

ahh, thanks!! i still h a t e drawing them tbh but im working on it ;;;

anyway, i use this site for practicing a lot– (click on “body parts” –> “hands”), it generates timed reference images, and you can adjust how long each image stays before moving on to the next one. (i like to do 30-seconds, so i dont get too caught up in the details and just focus on the shape and gesture, and just sketch for about a half hour). try to do exercises like this regularly, even daily if possible!

(and even though photo refs are great, drawing from real life is always best since you’re actually seeing in 3-dimensions rather than a flattened picture.)

i try to focus on shape and gesture when i draw hands, sometimes if i get too caught up in anatomy it gets overdetailed– since my style is more cartoon-y these days, drawing individual knuckles and fingernails can look out of place when everything else is more simplified. but, its still important to understand that anatomy and how it works, so you can draw hands from different angles even without reference eventually :o hope that helps!!

anonymous asked:

could u do the valentines day #10 with kylo?

*slams hands down on desk* DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS IDEA?? Haha, but seriously. It’s the cutest and I am so very happy someone requested it. I hope you like it!

Modern AU Kylo +  “When we were in Kindergarten, you gave me a Ring Pop on Valentine’s Day, and said it made us married. This year, I’m giving you a real one.”


The memory played in Kylo’s head continually, almost daily, as if it had only happened yesterday. In reality, it had been nearly 25 years since and he still managed to recall it so clearly.


It was recess time at school, a time you didn’t particularly enjoy being the new kid. Almost every other kid in your class had someone they were closest to, always playing with, eating lunch with, doing just about everything with. Leaving you to be by yourself, as the odd one out. 

This of course, was only made worse by the fact that it was Valentines Day. With only a handful of your classmates remembering you were in their class, your mailbox of valentines was depressingly empty. Although it was just fake notes on paper, at your young age it meant far more. It stung far deeper than anyone else would understand.

Wiping your runny nose on your sleeve you were suddenly jolted out of your innocent sulking by a timid voice.

“Hi (Y/N).”

Looking up before you, you saw Kylo Ren. From what you heard around the school, he was considered the outcast, the odd one. Though his classmates still acknowledged him, hardly any of them actually befriended him. In a lot of ways, he was a lot like you.

“Hi Kylo.”

“Are you okay?”

“Mhm.”

“But you’re crying.”

You shrugged your shoulders, “I know.”

“Everyone’s a bunch of nerf herders.”

You arched your brow at his strange term, he gave you a shrug.

“My mom says it a lot.”

“Oh.”

Clearing his throat as you looked back down at your lap, Kylo nervously teetered on his feet. Even at his young age, he found you incredibly interesting, and most certainly pretty. Swishing his wavy ebony locks from in front of his face Kylo carefully held up something before you. 

“Anyway…I wanted to give this to you.”

Slowly looking up you sniffled as a shiny red Ring Pop appeared in your line of sight. From what you could see, Kylo was wearing his own that was blue on the same hand offering the sweet treat to you. Slowly a faint smile found its way onto your small round face, seeing Kylo shyly stand before you with this offering.

“It’s a Ring Pop.”

You nodded, “Candy right?”

He nodded as he slipped the Ring Pop onto your finger you offered him. Smiling as he looked at the ring he swiftly sat himself beside you.

“Now we’re married.”

You furrowed your brows, “Married?”

Kylo nodded, “People use rings to get married. My mom and dad have rings.”

You hesitated for a moment, considering the idea before you turned to Kylo with a nod.

“Oh, ok. I guess I could marry you. Does that mean I have to share my snacks with you?”

Kylo shook his head, “Not if you don’t want to.”

You smiled at him as you held up your ring towards him. Smiling back Kylo carefully clicked his ring against yours before you both brought the sweet treats to your lips.


Unlike that time so many years ago, the pressure of Kylo’s heart ramming against his chest was far more present in this moment now. What had been an innocent gesture to his first ever crush was now a surreal foreshadowing. Before you, on top of a scenic hill with the night sky glittering above, Kylo kneeled down on one knee with his eyes intently focused on you. In true fashion to the sort of man he was, you were entirely alone in a quiet and serene place. Nothing but the two of you and the glistening city lights in the distance. With trembling lips he attempted to get the words out as his bulky fingers attempted to carefully open the little box he held.

“(Y/N) (Y/L/N), will you marry me?”

Feeling as though the tears were going to spill forth you quickly nodded, smiling from ear to ear.

“Yes…yes of course I’ll marry you.”

With a sigh of relief Kylo smiled back at you before he gently took the ring from the box and slipped it onto your finger. The gesture alone made one stray tear slide down your cheek as you stared at the band now shining from your left hand. Releasing a deep breath you watched Kylo stand back up with a smile. 

You chuckled faintly as Kylo furrowed his brows for a moment.

“What?”

“I was just thinking…it’s been years in the making.”

Kylo smirked as he held up a finger, “I was thinking the same thing.”

From his pocket Kylo pulled out a red and also a blue Ring Pop. The instant you saw the packaging you felt your chest grow warm with joy and your gut flutter in content. It was like it was just yesterday for you as well, remembering the kindergarten days when you and your “husband” would play at recess or share lunch together. 

“And so I brought these, in honor of that.”

As you took your respective red Ring Pop you leaned in towards Kylo, giving him a sweet kiss to the lips. Smiling as you pulled away you gently tapped your ring against his.

“I love you.”

He smiled as he tapped yours back, “I love you too.”

To the maladaptive daydreamers who can’t talk about their paracosms, either because it feels too personal or they feel like they’d betray their paras by doing so– You’re okay, and lots of people feel this way! You don’t have to reveal such a private part of yourself if you don’t feel comfortable doing so, and I completely understand.

To the madd’ers who love talking about their paracosms– Keep doing that! Whether you write them down or draw them out or do something else– you’re incredibly talented and brave for sharing your worlds!!! You aren’t being obnoxious or annoying! Please tell me more, I love learning about them!!! 

To the madd'ers who want to talk about their paracosms but can’t find the words to describe something so important and complex or the ability to draw what they see so clearly in their minds– It’s okay! I’m there too, and I know how incredibly frustrating it is. Keep going, keep creating, and one day you will be able to share your paracosms with the world.

To the madd'ers who’s paracosms are only filled with already existing fictional settings and characters and feel like they aren’t as creative as other md'ers– You’re still valid!! So many of my paracosms are filled with nothing but characters from tv shows and books!!! It’s perfectly fine to do so, and your stories are just as good as ones that include original paras!!

To madd'ers who use real life people as paras in their daydreams– I know how it hurts when you realize that the person you interact with in your head every single day isn’t even close to their real-life counterpart. I know the guilt and frustration, and I understand. You aren’t a bad person for daydreaming about real people, and it’s okay. 

To the madd'ers who’s paracosms don’t have a linear story, or feel like they don’t have a set paracosm at all– It can be intimidating when you see so many other md'ers describe at length their neat and organized plots and extremely developed paras. But lots of my daydreams that are some of the most important to me aren’t connected to anything at all!! Just because your daydreams stand alone rather than in a linear plot, or aren’t continuous, or simply can’t be placed in neat categories of separate storylines doesn’t mean they aren’t as valid!! 

To the madd'ers who have daydreams that scare them, who daydream about violent and/or taboo subjects– This is common for a lot of us, and you’re not alone. I see you, and I’m one of you. Having paracosms dealing with disturbing subjects doesn’t make you a bad person, I promise. 

To the madd'ers who don’t have long-term paracosms, whether you reset your worlds constantly or jump around from universe to universe so often you feel that your stories don’t get developed as well as other people's– I’ve personally never kept a continuous paracosm for more than roughly a year at a time. And some I scrap after mere months or weeks! Just because your paras haven’t been with you for years and years doesn’t mean they can’t be well-developed or important to you. 

For any madd'ers who feel like the content of their daydreams or paracosms doesn’t fit the common descriptions of MaDD– There is no wrong way to daydream because MaDD isn’t about *what* or *how* you daydream, but how your daydreaming affects you! You aren’t any less valid than anyone else, and your experiences with MaDD are just real and important as anyone else’s. <3<3<3

I understand the end of the game! Listen to the guys, I can prove that Prompto, Gladio and Ignis are not dead. When I tell you how I understood it, you will laugh or cry or I do not know but you will understand everything!
I look again at the scene where Noctis speaks with Bahamut. Then I look at the scene where Noctis finds Ardyn in what you think is “beyond”.
They are not dand in the afterlife. They are in the crystal world, where Noctis must actually defeat Ardyn (that’s what Bahamut says.)
At the moment when Ardyn lowers his head to make a bow, Noctis uses the power of the crystal to provoke the illusion of Prompto, Gladio, Ignis, Luna and Regis.
They are not there, Ardyn just becomes crazy because of the power and believes the seeing. Simply because they can not be there. It is the world of crystal, the final battle, where only kings can be! There’s only Noctis and Ardyn at that time, the other are just an illusion!
Look at Ardyn’s eyes, these are the eyes that made me understand! He scared on seeing Prompto, Gladio and Ignis because he knows very well that it is impossible that they are there.
It is not the beyond but the world of crystal!
Noctis really defeated Ardyn in the heart of the crystal, alone.
I understood it when I saw Ardyn’s fear in seeing all the others.
I was seeing what Bahamut said and all corresponds.
Prompto, Gladiolus and Ignis are not dead and have never been in the beyond nor in the world of crystal.
Noctis used their images to destabilize and destroy Ardyn.
It was a way for him to say “it was our struggle versus you.” After that, Ardyn dies and leaves for the real beyond. If not, how could it be that he is still dying in the afterlife?
Well, simply because they were not there.
Noctis is now part of the crystal as well as the other kings, in the heart of the planet.
Do you understand now?
I’m too glad to have solved the case, thank you Ardyn!

Sorry for my bad english, I hope you understand !
I tell you, now, the real end of the game.

Bye guys !!

Imagine: Benny Turning You

Request: So I saw that your requests were open and I couldn’t resist. Could you do an imagine where the reader is like dying but she doesn’t cause she asks Benny to change her and he does and he helps her adjust and live a ‘normal’ life like he does?? Thanks 

Pairing: Benny x Reader

Word Count: 2,500

Warnings: Blood, near-death experience, basically dying to become a vampire, being a vampire? Is that a warning?

@weirdnewbie sorry it took so long, hun! I loved this idea so much and wanted to really get it right.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Why are you doing gay requests for straight characters? I'm not trying to be homophobic, and I'm sorry if it comes off that way, but it's not fair to straight people who can't connect to non-straight things. It's practically discrimination. There are mods out there that change the gay characters into straight ones, and that is discrimination. And you guys are gay washing straight characters, so how is that different? Please stop, it's not fair to the character or your straight followers.

No.

This is a very personal issue for me, and so while I fully intend to remain polite and welcoming during this I want something to be made very clear: I am not stopping.

I am not stopping because romancing Leliana with her female warden in Origins is how my sister learned to accept me. I’m not stopping because I’ve watched trans friends find themselves in Krem, and straight friends find their courage in Bull’s easy acceptance of his lieutenant. I’ve seen dozens of users in this fandom see themselves in Dorian, because all they want from their parents is the one thing their parents won’t give, and listened to people celebrate the positivity of Isabela’s unapologetic sexuality.

The list goes on. Story after story, moment after moment, game after game. So many people have been touched in such a positive way by the beautiful diversity of the Dragon Age series, and  this is the month when we are celebrating that beauty– and doing so in a time when it can be scary to do so in real life. 

And if you feel you can’t connect to non-straight things*, Anon, that’s fine. I get that, and you are more than welcome to enjoy the regular requests that we will still be answering this month and in the months to come. But I also need you to acknowledge that if you can’t connect to non-straight things then you also cannot understand how incredibly important this is to the Mods and followers of this channel who can, nor can you possible understand how much so many of us need positivity in this aspect of our lives right now.

Thank you so much for reaching out to us, and for being a part of this community.

– Mod Fereldone

* I did want to point out that: A) Cullen was intended to be a bi character but budget and time forced the developers hand and b) when a mod was going around that made romancing Cassandra possible for male and female characters David Gaider said that he was not at all offended on Cassandra’s behalf. 

Do with that as you will.

I Knew I Would See You Again (”Why Now?” Part 2) - Jughead Jones Imagine (Riverdale)

Part 1 | Part 3

 

Hello again, I noticed that you liked my first imagine „Why Now?” and I decided to do a part two of it! Some people also asked me to. I am very happy that you liked part one, you guys amazed me! I really didn’t expect that, thank you for reading it! If you didn’t read „Why Now?” and just came across this imagine, please click above on Part 1 to read, although you will not understand anything. I also made a special page where I will post all of my Imagines. It’s down here:

 

Imagines

 

About this part I still don’t have any warnings to do because it’s too innocent, haha. I don’t own any of the TV series’s rights and the persons I’m mentioning here aren’t like that in the real life. This is just a story made up by me, meaning that the descriptions of the characters that I’m writing about are based on how the Riverdale’s cast is portraying them. It’s a work of fiction. Enjoy your reading. xx


PLOT: You stayed in Houston for a year. During all this time, you’ve managed to get in touch with your friends who have made you aware of everything that has happened in Riverdale so far. Even so, you missed them a lot and as soon as summer came, you informed your parents that you are going back to your hometown to celebrate your  18th birthday. You are about to find things that will make you regret you have not been with your friends, but most importantly, you will see him again.


You didn’t even feel how time had passed. It’s been a year, a whole year since you left Riverdale for a fresh start and for a better life. It wasn’t like that for you, you had no idea how you got through it. You only wanted the things to be good between you and your parents, but you couldn’t lie to yourself. You’ve suffered and if you’re gonna remember the day you left … The way things went off, you would probably feel sorry. You were absolutely convinced that you weren’t going to disappoint Veronica, Archie, Betty … Jughead, they knew that too. Every one of them kept their word: Archie called you every single day, you would talk to him for hours and he would finally sing something short just to cheer you up. You wouldn’t forget to ask him if Jughead was alright and he would say that he would never lie to you about anything. Archie and Jughead were best friends, you knew he would never abandon Jughead. You and Veronica would facetime everytime you were free. You always told her that Houston is a nice place and that you feel very good here, but you wouldn’t be convincing. It wasn’t the fact that you hated that place, it was just the fact that you knew anyone around here. You were the new girl, the new neighbor … It was tiring for you. Eventually Veronica would make you laugh even if you couldn’t even smile and you would almost fall asleep while talking to her. The blonde one – Betty, was the most worried about you.  She would ask you thousands of times if you are okay and send you a lot of pictures with her and the others so you can watch them whenever the longing became too intense. They made you forget, somehow. For a while, it wasn’t enough.

Then, everything started to get easier. You were accommodating with your new school’s schedule, studying most of the time and getting ready for exams. Sometimes you would think of how you used to eat lunch with Archie, Veronica, Betty and Jughead outside and how anyone could make you feel as they did. There was no fun. There weren’t delicious chocolate milkshakes as the ones at Pop’s were. There was no one named Jughead who would wear his crown-shaped beanie even if he was inside of a house. It was incredibly hard for you not to think about him all this time. You remembered how you cried the first night away from Riverdale and how lonely you felt. Jughead called you that night, you could barely talk. He tried to calm you down, but it wasn’t possible. You simply left him alone after he confessed he liked you. After he tried to show his true feelings towards you. You always knew how odd he felt doing it, and you could imagine how hard it was for him. And you did what? You were miles away. You would have understood him if he was mad at you, though he said he wasn’t. You almost wanted him too. What if everytime you hung up the phone, he will not talk to anyone else for a long time? What if he wasn’t himself anymore? What if he was stuck? You’re still asking this and you are afraid of a real answer. You felt him so close to you than he have ever been before and you couldn’t show him the same feelings. Sometimes you would want to feel his body pressed to yours, to cuddle him because you never had the chance to do that. Your mother was the first one to fiind out how it was with this Jughead guy, you didn’t need to explain anything to her. She saw you being affected and tried to make you feel better. You didn’t let her. Neither your dad. It was their fault. It took you long enough to get used to the idea, still, you haven’t looked for any other boy’s affection.

When summer came, you knew you had a chance. You talked with Veronica in time, telling her you plan to come back to Riverdale for your birthday. She almost started to scream from happiness when you told her that, but you mentioned her not to tell Archie, Betty or Jughead about that. You wanted to be a surprise. She told you you’d spend the night at her when you got there and assured you she’d keep her mouth shut. Both of you were so excited. You couldn’t help but think about everyone’s faces when they’ll see you. You couldn’t wait to see them too, it was like you were already feeling their giant tight hug against your body. You asked your parents to let you go back, you could not forget this important detail. They couldn’t believe it when they heard you. Your father was red from anger. „No way!” they both would tell you. Of course you couldn’t accept that, so you continued to beg for their approval. They did not want you to leave because they wanted you to be with them on your birthday, not in that town. They seemed so disgusted, as if they had not lived there once. You did everything in your power until you were able to convince them. You promised a short term, after which you would come back home. You needed your friends and some more familiar surroundings for a while. They understood it hard, but you were glad that they did. You were excited to see even Cheryl who was never incredibly excited about your presence. You heard a lot of shocking news about her brother’s death and you wanted to find out more. Veronica didn’t give you too many details, she wanted to play with you. You wanted Cheryl and her family to be okay after all the rumblings they’ve been through since the tragedy.

So the days have passed quite fast with you trying to fullfill your time as much as possible so you wouldn’t need to wait that long. You suddenly saw yourself with all the luggage done, almost as if you wanted to live faster than you should’ve. Jughead noticed how changed you were every time he called you and you felt him quite surprised. He got used to make you feel better, and to smile sweetly and cheeky everytime you two would facetime. It was funny to lie him ’cause it wasn’t anything serious, you couldn’t wait to meet his mesmerizing green eyes again.

This time you’ll tell him too. You’ll tell him everything.


                                              ***


You couldn’t stand the place. The taxi driver seemed to drive too slow for your patience. The night was still young. You were so close to your hometown again, you couldn’t believe it. You thought it was a dream, wanting someone to pinch you.  You blinked many times, looking out the window and admiring the landscape. You missed the strange appearance of Riverdale because you still were used to it. You’d have preferred this silence than all that noise in Houston.  Before you leave home, your mom and dad have warned you: you were not allowed to break your promise. You asked them to come with you so that you will be together on your birthday, it wouldn’t bother you. But your father had his job and wouldn’t let just your mother to come with you. You kinda felt that once you’ll see your friends, you couldn’t leave anymore. But nobody had to know that yet.

You took your phone out of your pocket and checked to see if Veronica texted you. Until now she constantly did that, she couldn’t wait to see you, God. You wondered if she was still the same as you knew her. You wondered if her family was okay, you wanted to know if her love life was up and you wished she didn’t suffer because of your departure. You felt like you couldn’t resist much more, it’s been so long

You asked the taxi driver to leave you a little farther from Veronica’s house because you didn’t wanted her to see you or wait for you. You just walked a little, and you never imagined it could be so hard with all the luggage and emotions that were not going to leave you too soon. You immediately recognized the huge building and increased your peace. A little more.

A man opened the door for you when he saw you wearing so much weight. You mumbled a „thank you” and then entered, leading directly to Veronica’s apartment. Standing in front of the door you felt your knees weak. You took a deep breath and the knocked at the door.

Almost immediately you heard Veronica’s voice from the inside:

„Y/N should be there in a few moments.” You couldn’t help but smile when you heard the sound of the door opening.

After that, you just felt like your strength was gone.

A tall girl dressed in a red top and some skinny black jeans looked at you from head to toe. Her dark hair was left free and hang just above her shoulders, as you were used with her wearing it like that. You whined and you covered you mouth with your hand, slipping the suitcasses on the floor.

„Oh my God.” You heard Veronica exhaling. It could’ve happen literally everything in this moment and you would notice nothing but one of your dearest friends who was looking at you extremly shocked. „Oh my God!” You heard her again. „Y/N!” She wrapped her hands around your neck and squealed. You felt like your heartbeats stopped.

„Hello to you too, Veronica” You tried to say even if you felt like she was strangling you.

„Jessus Christ, are you kidding me, Y/N?! Why didn’t you tell me that- …”

„I guess I wanted to surprise you?” She faced you when she heard your voice. Her eyes were full of life. It practically screamed: „This is the real home you need!

„Hell, I missed you so much!” She yelled, hugging you again. You started to laugh, but you were too excited, so it came out more like a trembling moan. You weren’t allowed to cry.

„I missed you too!” You stroked her back until you heard her mother’s voice from inside the apartment. The door was wide open. „Wha-What have you been doing lately?” You swallowed a lump in your throat trying to stay still on you own two feets.

She tried to answer you but Hermione interrupted her from behind.

„Veronica hun’, what was that- …” She stopped when she saw you. „Wait, is this …” Veronica turned her head to her, nodding quickly.

„It’s Y/N mom! Look at her!”

Hermione smiled warmly.

„What are you doing here, dear? It’s so unexpected, I can’t believe you’re back.”

„I needed to come back here. You have no idea how hard it was for me in the last months …” Veronica held her arm on your upper back. Now you only needed a few minutes. Your friend had to tell you everything that happened while you were away.

„Come in. Don’t stay there, we have pretentious neighbours.” Hermione said. You missed the way she treated you, sometimes she would have been better than your own mother. You entered the luxurious apartment, looking around. Nothing was changed. You’ve noticed all the things in their place, the couch on which you and Veronica used to fall asleep while watching movies, the glass coffee table, the plants … Too familiar.

The two women helped you to carry your luggage and immediately afterwards you sat down on the couch. You felt that Veronica and Hermione were fighting about who will be the one to ask you the first question. There had been nothing special in the city where you stayed, nothing to tell about.

„Everyone will freak out when they’ll see you. Tell me, how is it? How’s Houston?” Veronica asked, coming closer to you.

„Horrendous without you guys. I’m so glad I made my parents let me come.” You sighed.

„Ronnie told me about this. How did they agree?” Veronica’s mother asked.

„I think it was a miracle. I begged them like a dog.” You joked. „Only once I can reach my eighteens. If they did not want to accompany me I had nothing to do.”

„Don’t think about it, you’re here now. That’s what matters the most.” Mumbled Veronica. Her mother was agreeing. ”We really missed you, Y/N, all of us.” You knew it and couldn’t think about anything else. Your heart was empty without them, you imagined that this place was empty too without you all. After all, your group was the soul of Riverdale.

You turned your head to the dark-haired girl.

„I need to know everything. What happened here?” Although you were worried about the answers you were going to receive, nothing will be the same if you didn’t fiind out. You saw Hermione standing up and telling you she will leave you two alone so you can talk. Curious, you looked straight into your friend’s eyes. She started with the beginning. You found out that just a few months after you moved away, Jughead’s father was the main suspect in Jason Blossom’s death. When Jughead had told you about him he believed he couldn’t be guilty of anything. He trusted his father after all, because if he wouldn’t, he would have no one to support him. Veronica’s words scared you because yeah, mr. Jones seemed dangerous but he wasn’t a killer. Plus, when Jason was shot, Jughead’s father worked with Fred Andrews. So it couldn’t be true.

Then, Ronnie started to tell you about the relationship between Jughead and his dad which began to tense when the police was after him. They fought often and Jughead slept for a few days inside the school because he didn’t want to bother Archie anymore. He was destroyed during that time, Archie hardly persuaded him to come back. You imagined a scared, teary Jughead who walked alone on the same streets he was once walking you home on. Your heart skipped a beat.

„Please tell me you took care of him.” You said slowly. Veronica nodded.

„Betty was there for him.” As soon as you heard that sentence, your eyebrows furrowed. You felt shivers on your back. Although you knew that wasn’t her intention, you felt Veronica blaming you, somehow. She didn’t say that it was your fault, it was just the fact that Betty comforted the boy you left behind instead of you. And you weren’t jelous or something, it just … Didn’t feel right. The brunette looked at you cautiously before continuing. Maybe you weren’t prepared to hear her next words. Jughead and Betty were together at some point. You just blinked. Betty was the person who managed to be by his side when you couldn’t.

But you were okay with that.

„It didn’t last long. They broke up after two months.” Continued Veronica. „He thought he could see her the way he saw you.”

„How do you - …” How did Veronica know about Jughead’s feelings towards you? He would not tell anyone, he waited until the last moment to tell you.

„He told us but Archie figured out first.” You remembered the way they would tease you about how you and Jughead were acting in each other’s company. You would’ve smiled if you weren’t worried. „’You alright?” Ronnie asked you.

„I think so. It’s nothing.” You said. As long as you were concerned, things got a bit out of control, you understood that when you realized it was still not sure who Jason’s killer was. Even without you, your friends were trying to find out. Someone was lying and the Blossom family didn’t know what to do.

„I mean, how, Veronica? It’s been a year!” You exclaimed trying to find an appropriate answer in your head.

„It’s complicated. Everyone tell us that.”

Everything was complicated. When you wanted to come back, you were expecting that. You felt that overwhelming sensation again. The negative energy ruled every corner of your body but you welcomed it back with pleasure. If your mom and dad would fiind out what you have found out tonight, they would probably be here within an hour to take you back to Houston. Were you happy feeling so uncertain?

„Tomorrow’s the day. Betty, Archie and Jughead need to know you are back.” After a few minutes when the atmosphere was quiet, your friend’s voice was heard. You did not have the strength to retaliate after all you just heard. Your birthday was in two days and you still had things to do. You were supposed to get ready for seeing him again.

That night, after you talked a bit with Hermione too, you slept with Veronica in her king-size bed. The Blossom’s red hair appeared in front of your eyes everytime you closed them. You almost felt everything Jughead felt when he was alone, barely able to fall asleep.

„Don’t worry, Y/N. You have to feel good. Don’t ruin your time here.” Veronica also told you.

„I’m fine. I know it’ll be fine.”

The next morning Veronica woke you up early so you could dress. She had spoken with Archie and he had invited her to take breakfast at his place. You felt tired but it couldn’t compare to the butterflies you felt in your stomach knowing what yo were about to do. Jughead’s face popped up inside your head. You couldn’t wait to open your arms and let him hug you. Or you would be the one to hug him? It didn’t really matter as long as you were about to feel him that close again. 

„C’mon.” Veronica said, opening the door for you. You said goodbye to Hermione, the you stepped out of the apartment, following your friend. 

„I am so nervous.” You said, as the road shortened and you were getting closer to Archie’s home.

„Well, I’m excited.” Ronnie clapped. You tried to calm down your emotions but it wasn’t possible. You imagined Jughead and Archie, you imaged how Archie’s house looked like and before you knew it, Veronica tried to make sure if she could knock on the door or just enter the house without any announcement.

„Breathe.” She whispered to you once you two stepped in. Before you could say something more, she screamed. „Archie, I’m here!” You tried to stop her but you couldn’t. Then, you heard footsteps approaching. 

„You’re right in time.” Your redhead’s voice was thicker than usual. „The pancakes are- …” But when he saw you, it seemed like his voice vanished.”Y/N?!” You tried to smile as innocently as you could.

„Surprise!” His mouth was already wide open. He slowly approached you as if he was afraid you would disappear.

„No freaking way.” You heard him say. You felt his strong arms wrapped around your waist immediately. You tried to look at Veronica and meeting her gaze, you saw her mouthing an „I told you.” 

„Oh my God, Archie.” You murmured. You felt he was beyond surprised. 

„Are you real? I thought you would never come back …”

„I’m here. One hundred percent real.” You assured him, patting his back. „It’s my birthday tomorrow. I wanted to be here.” He looked at you and for a second, you really thought he was about to start crying. You couldn’t imagine a crying Archie, instead, you wanted to cry so bad. „I miss- …” You tried to speak but he suddenly grabbed your hand. You got through the hallway to the kitchen where you smelled the old delicious pancakes with maple syrup. Then, as if it was a dream, you saw one well-known figure.

You started shaking. Your chest was tightening.

„Hey, Jug?” Archie called him. He turned his head to him but he didn’t notice you at first. Just a minute later, he froze.

Originally posted by unconditionalloveandunicornspawn

„Jughead.” You breathed. If Archie and Veronica would not watch you now, you probably would have gone to him and attacked his lips in a well-deserved kiss. You were as speechless as he was.

He didn’t say a word. Instead, you saw him approaching you. He looked you deep in the eyes and touched your cheeks with his palms. His eyes were watery. No. Please Don’t.

„Y/N?” Your name fell out of his mouth as a weak whisper. He was still wearing his beanie, but this time it was a different color. You hugged him tightly and you whined in his chest.

„I’m sorry.” You told him. You still felt extremely guilty. You didn’t want to hurt him anymore. You wanted to feel him happy. As happy as he was never before.

„Don’t say that. It wasn’t your choice.”

You leaned your forehead to his. 

„Guys?” You almost forgot about the boy and the girl who were awkwardly standing behind you. Archie talked first.

„I’ll call Betty.”

Jughead stepped back and looked at you in owe. You wished he would’ve kiss you without shame. You couldn’t say that loud.

Exactly like that, you enjoyed the presence of your old friends all day long. It honestly felt like it wasn’t real. After so long, you were seeing them again. And when Betty arrived and saw you standing there, you couldn’t handle it anymore and started to cry while you hugged her. They grew up too. You even noticed a small scratch on Jughead’s cheek, and when you asked him about it, he told you that Archie had mistakenly hit him with the joystick in the face when he lost a round at his favorite video game.

„You, silly.” You said, giggling.

Everythig was perfect. You didn’t even dare to ask about Cheryl and her family because you didn’t want to ruin anything. Your friends were incredibly enthusiastic about your returning because they wanted you to have the best birthday ever. Jughead held your hand whenever he had the chance and he didn’t even care if the others were watching you, not even Betty. You felt sorry for her because it was, after all, her ex-boyfriend. She wasn’t bothered at all, she was happy that you were around. You didn’t feel how time passed and before you knew it, looking out the window, it was already dark outside. Until now you’ve been around and at Pop’s with your friends, then you stood in front of the highschool and talked about every possible thing. You also visited Archie’s dad, who was surprised to see you; he was in the middle of a phone call and started balding when he saw you. You wanted to laugh but you didn’t, though.

Right now you and Jughead were on your way to his dad’s trailer. You needed some time alone with him, and around Archie, Betty and Veronica you could not get your plan done. Your hands were intertwined, you felt something strange in your stomach.

„This day was simply amazing. Thank you for welcoming me back this way.” You said.

„Stop thanking us, Y/N. Everyone’s glad that you’re back.” You felt Jughead’s big thumb brushing over your palm. „Will you leave again?” He then asked, in a low tone. 

„I have to.” You answered. You wouldn’t want to leave but you couldn’t stay. Your parents would lock you in your room forever.

You two enjoyed the silence until you arrived and noticed that Jughead’s father didn’t seem to be around. You stood outside. It was hot and the wind was blowing slowly. You leaned your back against the trailer and looked up to the sky.

„Jughead?” He looked at you while his arms were crossed to his chest. „Are you okay?”

„I am.” He nodded. But you didn’t mean that.

„No, are you okay?” You became serious bitting the inside of your cheek. You watched him coming near you. He sighed.

„Yes, Y/N. I am.” You wanted him to tell you how horrible he felt without you, you wanted him to blame you and you wanted him to be angry at you. He wasn’t. He was just enjoying your company. You were an awful person, you knew that.

„I heard about you and Betty.” You spoke out of blue. In a few seconds, he turned his head towards you. 

„Does that bother you? Because- …”

„Jughead relax. It’s okay, I’m okay with that. Don’t worry.”

Silence.

„You know …” He started. „I never stopped thinking of you. Like it only felt right when I was with you.” You felt your throat dry. Your lower lip was already between your teeth and something was devouring you on the inside. You turned your head to him and caught his sad expression. You opened your mouth but no words came out. Before you could figure it out, the space between you and the Jughead began to shrink. In the next moment, it happened. 

His lips stuck to yours as if they were simply meant to be there. Something exploded inside of you. You whimpered instinctively driving your hand to his cheek. Your body pressed more against the trailer behind you while you two kissed deeply and truly. It wasn’t a tongue kiss, it could’ve been just as passionate. You slowly raised your hands up to the end of his beanie and squeezed the little dark hair which was stuck out. You felt him trembeling in the kiss and you knew it was too much for him. But he wouldn’t stop, for you. He pressed his chest to yours and you felt his heart beating. You melted, then and there.

You didn’t know you had your eyes closed until you opened them to look at him while he slowly interrupted the beautiful kiss. He licked his lips, shy and you smiled.

Originally posted by destinyhayden

„You have no idea how good is to know that my father isn’t here now.” He murmured, looking at you with such loving eyes. You didn’t expect him to be like that. 

How amazing he was.

„I like you too, Jug.” You whispered, somehow scared that he would just shut you off.

I knew I would see you again.” He answered, smiling softly. „I don’t want you to leave again, Y/N.” He confessed, staring at the wet ground. 

„I don’t want that either.” When you thought about that, you made yourself sad. You didn’t want to be sad at this moment, you just had the most beautiful kiss in your life. The first kiss that really felt that real. Jughead was always real, he was here all this time, he still was. How unbelievable it was, it was true.

„I think it’s midnight.” You felt his hand reaching to yours again. 

„Maybe …” You said feeling empty. 

Happy birthday, Y/N.” Your smile though it was not as big as it should’ve been, it was there. You wanted to push everything away, every bad thought, every cry for help … You just wanted him. You felt your head being turned to him again, this time for him to kiss you for the second time. He hugged your frame with so much care that you could’ve even break into his arms as well, because he would have stick together all your pieces, all of your parts. It was hard to attach by someone when you knew very well that you both get hurt in the end.

But what if this wasn’t your end?  


It’s here! This is the last part of „Why Now?” imagine. I really hope you’ll like it, I already like to write stuff like this for you. What do you think about it? ’Hope it’s not too sad or something, usually I can handle to write sad stuff, I like it. Thank you so much for your reblogs and hearts, it really means a lot to me! And if you ever want to talk don’t hesitate to give me a message. Or ask me a question. Both are okay. Thank you for reading!

yoonbum’s point of view

okay, so i decided to write a post for all of you who feel confused about why yoonbum behaves like he behaves

this post will be long but i hope it can help someone to understand yoonbum’s mental state at least. whole post is of course what i think about yoonbum’s motives and this is my opinion - you can disagree with me.

THIS POST CONTAINS SPOILERS FROM CHAPTER 1 TO CHAPTER 14 

so, first of all - i want to clear one thing that should be obvious to all killing stalking readers

the “relationship” between yoonbum and sangwoo isn’t and can’t be called love. this is a very toxic and sick relationship and sure it is between two males, but it has been shown in a really psychological way and never shown in a romantic or cute way in this comic. the author NEVER idealize any of characters’ actions. you all should know this and keep it in your mind. 


so, let’s move to the main topic of this post - a yoonbum’s point of view

as all of you know, yoonbum lived with his grandparents ever since he was kid. he mentioned it in chapter 5, when he was talking with sangwoo. he then marked that he lives with his uncle now (of course before he break-into sangwoo’s house). after sangwoo’s question about yoonbum’s uncle, he told him that the reason he cut his wrist was beacuse of his uncle and because he felt lonely. yoonbum then didn’t say the thing straightly but in chapter 7 we all can see how his uncle really treats him. 

External image

and then we can see something like flashback from yoonbum’s past. 

it clearly means that yoonbum was/still is a victim of sexual abusement and the culprit is his own uncle. 

although he hasn’t told about whether his relathionship with his own grandparents was good or bad, i can be almost sure that he has never felt nor understood the meaning of real love in his whole life. because of that he doesn’t know what real love looks like but he had been searching for it desperately. you can also see a weird thoughts with flashbacks from his past when he was trying to break-into sangwoo’s house in chapter 1


as you can see, these flashbacks were from very bad moments in yoonbum’s past - his life has been filled with stressful situations like for example probably misunderstanding with one of the girls from his school or - on the last flashback - probably an attempt of hit yoonbum by his grandfather but his grandmother tries to stop him. 

(flashback from chapter 9 - he was probably bullied in his school age)

and then he met sangwoo - in the second semester of his first year of college (he also mentioned that he entered the college 4 years late, so it can be also caused by his mental state and abusive grandparents/uncle). sangwoo at once impressed yoonbum - in his point of view sangwoo was gentle, emapthic and considerate, so everyone wanted to make friend with him. and since that moment yoonbum had a crush on him. but caused by his distorted view of what love is he even didn’t want to talk to sangwoo - he was maybe not shy, but definitely scared of what will sangwoo do after yoonbum’s conffesion, again - due to his problems since childhood (and also to the whole problem with homophobia in korea). he also knew that he won’t have any chance to be with sangwoo. but before long, when yoonbum was in his army duty, he was being oppressed by his platoon’s fellows. and then, just accdientally sangwoo interrupted this whole bullying. and since that moment he was like savior in yoonbum’s eyes - it is very important to know because it has an influence in yoonbum’s further actions. after that incident yoonbum decided to admiring sangwoo from the distance even more, but he hadn’t seen him since that. he felt miserable and lonely and decided to just forget him little by little. until he accidentally spotted him on the street with some girl. after that the whole thing yoonbum considered as love for sangwoo and his admiration to him hit him really hard, and then he felt like forgetting about sangwoo is no more possible. so this is probably the moment when the whole serious stalking has begun. 

let’s move a little bit further in action - to the moment when yoonbum found a woman in sangwoo’s basement. he didn’t even once think that sangwoo could tied her up and left her in his basement - he might as well thought that sangwoo didn’t know about such a thing. then, after sangwoo hit yoonbum with baseball bat, yoonbum was scared and filled up with confused thoughts. he didn’t recognize sangwoo.

and this was probably the moment when the image of sangwoo which was created by yoonbum’s mind has split up to two different people - one of them was the sangwoo who yoonbum has known to that moment - a gentle, warm, empathic and nice person who helped yoonbum during his army duty, and the other one was the sangwoo who was uknown for yoonbum until then - a brutal, aggressive and ruthless one who looks exactly like sangwoo but isn’t a “real” sangwoo. this is why yoonbum thought of this

then, yoonbum - afraid of dying from the “uknown” sangwoo’s hands - tried to confess his feelings towards “real” sangwoo - he might thought that by this way he could bring the “real” sangwoo back. after that sangwoo touched yoonbum’s forehead in gently-looking way. he then said that he and yoonbum should go up which was something like a singal for yoonbum that the “real” sangwoo was here back again. yoonbum was really happy and relieved but he still couldn’t believe that sangwoo really forgave him. you may notice that after sangwoo’s appearing yoonbum didn’t even once thought about tied up woman who was still near them. he also like forgot about that sangwoo had hit him and want to kill him, even more - he thought that all of these was his fault and nothing was wrong with good side of sangwoo, beacuse it all was done by his bad side. 

you all know what happened next, so let’s move a little bit further again - to the moment when sangwoo was “feeding” yoonbum with porridge. sangwoo asked him how does he feel and yoonbum - probably still believing that the “real” sangwoo may come back - said “i feel good”. sangwoo was disgusted, he called yoonbum a retard and then started kissing him. yoonbum once again utterly forgot about what sangwoo has done to him to that moment and thoguht that the kiss was from “real” sangwoo and is something special. 


okay, so now i want to talk about yoonbum being imprisoned altogether. before that, i want you to get to know with some like a little summary of the book which is an authentic story of natascha kampusch - a girl who had been trapped in some guy house for more than eight years (the book is called “3,096 days”, you can google it for more information). she describes in it what these eight years look like - she was being bullied not only physically but mostly mentally. she says that after some time she got used to being physically abused and imagined that she was watching the whole situation by standing nearby this guy and her body. but she never got used to metnal abuse. natascha was really strong mentally and even when she was kidnapped by age 10 it took that guy some time to break her. then she was trapped in her own mind, she had many, like, many chances to escape, but she couldn’t. her mind was so twisted due to that guy that she couldn’t even think about escaping. it was really horrible for her, she could think only about how to not annoy her oppressor. moreover, even if she didn’t know him before kidnapping, she started to feel something like pity for him after some time. she doesn’t want him to got into trouble because of her and she tried to understand him. 

so i see yoonbum.

moreover, he has been in love even before sangwoo has trapped him, so his sympathy towards him is even more exposed and even more distorted. when the “unknown” sangwoo is with yoonbum, he just tried to not annoy him and do everything by right way so sangwoo won’t have a reason to punish him. in chapter 4 you could also see that yoonbum was thinking about escaping from “unknown” sangwoo (because he is still in love with “real” sangwoo), he was really confused and his mind started to twisting and imagining how would it be if he managed to run away. but even for this not-so-long period of time being impriosoned he couldn’t even tried to escape, he was so scared of what kind of punishment would sangwoo do to him after his obvious failure. (i love how author showed yoonbum’s disability to escape due to his physical and mental state by drawing him in a cage… for real, it was a really good way to show how yoonbum was feeling by then). it is alsow very important to notice that yoonbum was so desperate he tried to poison sangwoo and after realizing that it was impossible he probably tried to kill himself by eating poisoned food.

although yoonbum was aware that sangwoo has his two sides - good and bad, he still ignored almost everything sangwoo had done to him in his bad mood when he changed his side to good one. by then, only some kisses and nice words were enough for yoonbum to forget about sangwoo’s bad side. after incident in end of chapter 5, sangwoo had changed. yoonbum was still aware of his two sides, though, and in chapter 6 he concluded it.

it was probably the time when he still recognized two sides of sangwoo. but after some time his image of sangwoo started to blurring - since that time he didn’t know whether sangwoo had changed and he will be a nice person from then on or this is just an another switch to his good side which won’t last forever. then, more kisses and sangwoo being “gently” towards yoonbum. and after that the image was even more blured and twisted, so was yoonbum’s mind. but when sangwoo left the house in chapter 7, the really strong dose of common sense hit yoonbum and he realized that was probably his only real chance to escape. even though, he started to not recognize what is true and what is his imagination. he had hallucinations and a lot of visions what would happen if sangwoo was there. he utterly lost his sense of time. but during this whole hell, he decided to escape. then, he disobeyed sangwoo for the first time. 

it was like he finally understood that sangwoo has never been any good, even when he is in his “good” side. 

after that, sangwoo turned mad and came back home to punish yoonbum. yoonbum tried to calm sangwoo down by kissing him and proposing him another thing instead of punishment (everyone knows what he meant by “another thing”), but he was still madly frightened of sangwoo. then, it is no longer something like he want to bring “real” sangwoo back, because these sides never really existed, he realized that. after the whole “airplane” thing, yoonbum didn’t longer think that anything will work on sangwoo so he just started saying that this was too much and he remonstrated, even got a little bit angry. but after that he realized that he has no right to order sangwoo around. 

but again, when he was playing cards with that old dude, he felt like he was someone special to sangwoo, because sangwoo was helping him to “win”. even after yoonbum lost, sangwoo still was treating yoonbum like he was something “special”. yet, i don’t have a clue whether yoonbum still thinks that he is someone “special” to sangwoo or that it was just another of sangwoo’s insane actions. 

and in chapter 13 you could see that yoonbum hid in the cupboard underneath the sink. this action also have a two possible motives - one, he didn’t want to get sangwoo any more angry and he thought that even if he wouldn’t hide, sangwoo would make up a story to policeman that it all would look innocent in cop’s eyes, so it was better to hide, and the other motive - yoonbum still believed that he is someone “special” to sangwoo and he still wanted sangwoo to treat him in a “special” way. but then, at the very end of chapter 13, he slipped his hand off sangwoo’s back, which might mean that he believes none of sangwoo’s words anymore. 

in chapter 14 he had an opportunity to escape from sangwoo again. he first started panicking where sangwoo is, but then he realized that he wasn’t literally tied up to anything, so that meant he could escape. even though he could walk, he couldn’t move, so again, it is like mental cage made of scare of sangwoo or scare of he won’t be “special” to sangwoo anymore. as i said before, i still have no clue what his way of thinking is now.

okay, so i think this is almost the end of my so-fucking-long post. i tried to not make it this long, but yet i wanted to explain my point of view, because, yeah, i feel it is really important to understand why yoonbum is or was (because i have a feeling that he has changed) like that - miserable, lonely, and that he at first wasn’t paying much attention to all these bad things sangwoo had done to him until he gave him some kisses and a “good” vibe. so, to all of you who thought that the thing between sangwoo and yoonbum is “love” - no, it never was, it is not, and it will never be. i hope yoonbum finally understands that his meaning of love was utterly wrong and does not exist in a real world. 

i am also going to write a very similar post about sangwoo + his motives of murders, so stay tuned and wait for another post! 

jfc, i hope it makes any sense because english is not my native nor first language, so i have made some mistakes for sure, so sorry for that! 

anonymous asked:

hey! this might seem like an odd question but can I ask how you design your outfits/armor designs? whenever i try to design something for a character it kinda comes out simple, or is similar to other designs i've made in the past and i was wondering if you had any other tips ^_^ (also, i absolutely adore you're hq!! fantasy au and i can't wait for another update X3 )

Hey there Anon! :) I’m sure your work is fantastic! Just brainstorming and trying new things (even if you think it turns out too similar or simple) is always a good thing! Tbh I’m not really experienced in concept design and I don’t find my work to look very skilled haha but here’s a couple things I do when doing these kinds of drawings. First, I think it’s good to grab as many reference photos as you feel you need. For Ushijima’s (shiratorizawa) armor outfit I was looking at a lot of ancient Greek armor. What I did was take the general shape of the armors in the pictures and elaborated on it. It is VERY helpful (at least for me) to have a “base” for your designs that you can start with so that it’s easier to add in detail and embellishments. It also helps you understand how clothes/armor fits. I struggle a lot with making armor look like it’s wearable with room for the bending of elbows and knees, so I try to take time to figure out how the armor is being worn and what pieces are separate from the others. Second, when trying to think of something new, I like to try and think in shapes. Like Ushijima’s is very round and circular but Iwa’s is very sharp and diamond shaped. It’s easier for me to make something more detailed when I have a basic shape that applies to the whole outfit: if I wanted to add designs on the fabric for Ushijima, it would probably be a lot of curved lines and circular designs. Lastly, reference, reference, reference. On clothes and armor around the world. You won’t find a better inspiration than real life designs! It’s not like you have to copy it, just observe it and maybe take aspects of what you’re seeing, such as a cloth wrapped on one side of the body, or a utility belt/strap that goes around the waist and over the shoulder. And there’s nothing wrong with not liking the design you make at first <3 just keep sketching over and over and don’t give up! And have fun experimenting with different things ~ Sorry for the long ramble hahah

Answering other ASKS here (it’s gonna be a long one… lol):

Hi there! Hmm drawing technique… I would define it as HOW you draw something. Or HOW you use your choice of medium to draw/paint. For example, if you use pencil/pen, there’s something called stippling, which is a bunch of dots to create an illusion of shading. Stippling is a technique you use to draw with the pencil/pen. Same with cross hatching. You can’t really have a drawing technique, as it is something used by a lot of people. But you can USE technique and HAVE a personal style, which is the end result of you using technique. If that makes sense? Ahhh I hope this helped at least a little ;__; That was a hard question haha I had to think about this quite a bit XD

Hi @plants-blooms! Thank you so much! Ohhh another hard Q hahah. I agree it can be hard to achieve a natural look on photoshop. I think it really comes down to your choice of brush and your understanding of light and color on hair. 

I did this super quick and messily but I think it gets across the impact of using different brushes while drawing the same thing. It’s very important to know what kind of look you are going for and brushes factor a lot into it. And then there’s color and light. I think the best way to do realistic, natural looking hair is to observe real life and understand how the environment interacts with it (careful though since there are a lot of different types of hair). The amount of light a person’s hair is exposed to affects it’s color; not painting it in the right shade when the environment is really dark or really light can throw off its realism. Also, you don’t HAVE to emulate real hair and draw every single strand. If you understand all that light/color business, you can actually draw very simply and it will still look realistic. I’d like to point you towards WLOP’s work <3 their work IS detailed but it’s also a combo of specific brushes and an amazing understanding of light. And Wlop’s painting tutorial HERE. In general make sure to practice by observing portrait photos (perhaps flickr) or just creep on people in real life hehe

Haha hi there ~ Ahh thank you so much >///< yes that is me! *cough* Butiwaswearingalotofmakeupinthatreferencephotolmao *cough*

Ahh thank you so much @ichigodaisuki! <3 The small square above the nano is a very lazy and quick attempt to draw 3DS game cards hahah. It’s Fire Emblem Awakening and Pokemon Alpha Sapphire XDD and it’s completely illegible hahaha

Hi there, Anon! <3 Ohhh this question haha. I’ve been following figure skating since, I think, Kristi Yamaguchi in the 1990s (she was so good). I’ve also loved animation since I was little. The problem is I’m VERY VERY picky about the shows that I choose to watch, so I decided to keep tabs on anime studios based on the number of shows they’ve made that I enjoyed. MAPPA has been on my list since Sakamichi no Apollon and Zankyou no Terror (both are extremely beautiful, mature shows btw if you haven’t seen them), so when I heard they were going to make an original FIGURE SKATING show… I was all in. I think I was waiting for Yuri on Ice for over a year because the trailer came out 10 months ago and the announcement was a while before that. 

Anyways YES I loved the show, however it is not in my top favorites list (weird I know haha I’m sorry). But while I had issues with the character development and the animation, this show NAILED the main three. I could draw Yuuri, Victor, and Yurio all day! I think those guys were what made me love YOI, especially the relatable personality and character progress of Yuuri. Really wish there was more on Victor though, considering how significant of a character he is.

Ohhh Anon ~ If you want to watch something you should do it! Not being an artist or a reviewer should never stop you from watching a tv show, or doing anything for that matter <3 be yourself. Anyone who doesn’t want to talk to you because they think you’re “untalented” is a jerk and not worth your time anyways! The YOI community on here has been very friendly and welcoming, so don’t be afraid! Please take care and think higher of yourself ~ Have more confidence <3

Hello there Anon! Oh my goodness thank you so much! >////< And of course that’s totally ok with me! <3 ahhhh thank you so much for your support and I’m so honored you want to try and cosplay the design! I would LOVE to see it when it’s done if that’s alright with you?? *o*

Hi there Anon! Thank you so much and thank you for the interest! <3 There is only ONE king/queen at a time, but they are chosen by both of the two clans together and that person can be from either clan. Tsukki is definitely moon clan along with Asahi, Kiyoko, and Suga. Noya, Tanaka, Daichi, Yachi and Hinata are sun. I’m struggling with Yamaguchi, Takeda, Ukai and the rest… Kageyama is actually from Seijou and was banished to Karasuno and takes over as a dictator, sort of. So he has some work to do haha. Here’s the crests but they’re subject to change considering how fast and sloppy I did them LOL:

@fuckdin Of course. To both. Hehehe. But seriously yes, I definitely plan to draw more of the fantasy AU. It’s getting to the point where I want to draw all the characters and all the outfits and all the locations. And I have no time. It’s baaaaad hahah. But in terms of Iwaoi, their relationship in this AU is a bit… angsty. Mutual. But angsty… Soon. I’ll draw more soon!

・☆・☆・☆・☆・☆・☆・☆・

Thank you to everyone who sent in ASKS! I have a few unanswered ones because this post turned out rather long haha. I’ll get to those when I can. And I’ll pm replies to the non-answer ASKS assuming you are not anonymous :)) Take care all! Have a great week <3 and a little iwaoi heh

TDA Theory: Marktina is Endgame (and i cry) (also i defend my precious child kieran)

@cassandraclare @polandbananas20

Ok, let me just start this off saying that I am probably one of the more … invested shall we say in the Kierark ship. Kieran is my favorite character (of the TDA ppl, not everyone, we’re not going that far…) and I just want my baby to be happy. However, after reading (and rereading) LoS and scrolling through tumblr, I’ve realized that Kierark, as much as I love them isn’y going to make Kieran happy. It is an unrequited and unequal love. Now, believe me this doesn’t mean that I don’t still love them and want them to be together, I do. However, based on what happened in LoS, I don’t have much hope. 

Here’s the truth, I have a terrible feeling that Cassie’s gonna kill Kieran off in QoAaD. The devestating truth is that I, an avid angst reader, obviously have an odd love for pain, but i also have a hard time allowing myself happiness (when it comes to stories anyways). So, seeing as though we seem to be moving in the Marktina direction, I’m preparing myself for the worst. 

Now, I can sort of cope with Marktine (not really, it still hurts) but i can ignore it if my child kieran is happy. I am completely and entirely aware that a polyamorous relationship between the three of them is not possible. Kieran doesn’t WANT to share Mark. He’d just rather do that than lose him. However, as we see, he doesn’t want to be manipulated anymore. Mark has every right to feel how he feels. I understand that sending Mark those acorn messages telling him that the Blackthorns taking him back wasn’t real was not in Mark’s best interest. However you have to seriously think about it from Kieran’s perspective. 

He doesn’t understand how Mark could choose family over the hunt. Kieran wasn’t raised in a happy family like Mark. The ONLY person who ever showed him any affection was Mark. You have to understand that with the loss of Mark being threatened, Kieran would be willing to do anything and everything before he loses him. This is in play again with the polyamorous thing because he doesn’t want to share, he’d just rather do that than lose Mark completely. 

So clearly, Kieran is much more in love with Mark than he is with him. This will never end well in a polyamorous relationship. The way that it looks like QoAaD is going to happen, my money is on Marktina as the endgmae. 

This however, doesn’t completely mean that Kieran will die. I just have no hope because I don’t want to wallow in pain in case it happens and I need to be prepared. So, let’s just assume that I’m correct and Marktina’s endgame. Logically (at least to me anyways) this means one of two things for Kieran. 1) he dies (NOOOOOOOO) or 2) he becomes the unseelie king. I know that you could probably make 3) he gets someone else or 4) he moves on and everything’s fine, but honestly, I don’t think Cassie would do that. So, my gut is telling me that he’s gonna die, but i sort of LOVE the idea of Kieran becoming the Unseelie King. ALSOOO Cassie never mentions things just to skirt around them (like the whole parabatai monster thing, that’s DEF gonna happen. creds to polandbananasbooks for making me think this way). In Lady Midnight, there is mention of gaining power over fae by taking their symbol of power. For example, for the Seelie Queen, it’s her crown. I haven’t read LM in like, a solid 9 months so I can’t really remember what you have to steal from the Unseelie king, but I still think that it counts. Next, when they want to replace the King with Adaon, they look at Kieran first. Of course he refuses, 1) because of Mark (but assuming that Marktina’s happening, this isn’t important) and 2) he just honestly doesn’t want to. What he wants doesn’t really matter though, and I think that it’s TOTALLY likely that he may take the throne from his father.

Say the King theory happens, tbh Kieran would probably either get a new partner or be super bitter. Honestly, I think I’d really like him being bitter. He’d have a soft spot for the shadowhunters, but also despise them at the same time. This would make him super interesting if he were to show up later (Assuming that the previous assumptions are correct of course). 

Honestly, I just want Kieran to be free from this relationship before it becomes even more of emotional abuse than it already is for him. Thanks for reading my rant. Don’t get me wrong, being fully aware of the pain that Mark causes Kieran and Kieran causes Mark, I’m still a Kierark shipper (bc i can’t help myself, leave me alone). And Kieran is my absolute favorite character, so I’m sort of REALLY hoping for this Unseelie King thing to be right.