and i stayed up pretty late making these for some reason

Sometimes the customer is wrong for unrelated reasons.

Due to the well of my friends’ “def not an axe murderer” date recommendations drying up, I have turned to that most sacred of modern relationship institutions: online dating. As a very busy person trying to get it in with other very busy people, I prize honestly and directness above all else when it comes to profile creation. I include full body shots in my photos, try to minimize the use of MySpace angles in selfies, and write at the very top of the summary/caption/profile that I am fat. Not “curvy,” not “thick,” not “lots to love”–I’m f*cking fat. I’m not ashamed of it, but I also known that weight is a dealbreaker for lots of people. I don’t want to waste anyone’s time.

About a year ago I met “Evan” via Tinder. We exchanged friendly messages for a few hours one night and agreed to meet up for drinks the following evening. I waited for a full hour past the designated time, and just as I was getting up to leave, the texts started rolling in.

“I can see you sweating from here.” “How long does it take you to roll out of bed every morning?” “Is there an earthquake or are you just getting up for more pretzels?”

Really idiotic, juvenile shit. Four separate numbers, commenting on things like my clothes, which clued me in that the senders were nearby. This went on for 15 minutes before I finally saw Evan, trying to hide in at a corner table and giggling with a group of buddies. I made eye contact, saw that he saw me, and then walked out. The texts kept up until I blocked the numbers a few hours later.

I ran into Evan about 3 weeks later. We got on the same elevator, and he tried really hard at being super interested in the emergency phone instructions. I just confronted him, and he admitted it was just some “game” that him and his friends play. He knew I was fat before agreeing to meet up; they all did, because that’s what they do. Match up with fat women, then either ghost them or “troll” them at the meet-up. It was also kinda obvious he’d never seen any consequences from this bullshit, as he was sweating pretty hard and looked more humiliated than I felt. I just said whatever and walked out, expecting to never see him again.

About a month ago, some local foodie wrote a great review of the restaurant I own, and we’ve been slammed ever since. In the past, I stayed mostly in the kitchen, but I’ve been doing more and more front-of-house stuff lately, and Valentine’s Day I was working a bit of a split between the two.

I saw Evan just as he was pushing in his date’s chair. My name isn’t on the restaurant, and he didn’t see me. I checked the section up at the hostess stand and saw that one of my favorite old-timers, Nan, was going to be his waitress. I went to the bar till, took out $400, put it in her hands, and said, “This is going to be your only table for the rest of the night. You are going to make this the worst date he has ever been on.”

She spilled every single thing she brought out to the table, all over him. I was waiting for him to blow up on Nan, but he bottled it up, obviously trying to make a good impression on his date. She seemed like a perfectly lovely lady; I told Nan to make sure everything was good for her and terrible for Evan.

She poured ice water on his d*ck. She smacked the back of his head with the edge of a tray. Spilled soup on his shirt. Dropped every fork he asked for. I personally oversalted his food, used the shit liquor for his drinks, used flour instead of sugar on his dessert. To be honest, I don’t know why he didn’t just walk out. He must have really wanted to f*ck this woman.

Finally, he cracked. Demanded Nan find the manager and bring her out. I was only too happy to emerge from the kitchen with my chef’s coat and say what, I’m not ashamed to admit, I’d been planning out all night.

“I would have said hi earlier, but I didn’t want the earthquake to disturb your dinner.”

I will savor the look on Evan’s face for the rest of my life.

He was a little too flummoxed to explain, so I pulled a chair up to the table and introduced myself to his date, Amanda. Told her how I met Evan. Showed her some fun old messages. Then I told gave her a voucher for a free meal on her next visit and told Evan to get the f*ck out and never come back.

He deleted his Tinder profile.

TAURUS: lately life has felt like a carnival ride that you stumbled onto by accident and you don’t understand why everybody else is having such a good time. why everybody else has open-mouth smiles and bright eyes while you’re clutching your lap-bar praying for something to end. it won’t always be like this. the ground isn’t going to perpetually swing around you, stealing your balance and your ability to move as if your existence is something flimsy and disposable. this will all slow down eventually. please stay until then. the view from the top will be worth it.

GEMINI: you’ve taken every offhand remark to heart since the day you were born and your chest has become so heavy that it’s hard to breathe around all of that hurt. you know you don’t have to keep it all hidden, right? storage units exist for a reason: humans were never meant to bear all of their belongings. I know that your statuesque stance is one you’ve been practicing for centuries, but it’s okay to ask for help. nobody is going to be mad at you or think of you as weak for doing so.

CANCER: you’re holding something beautiful and this is the most terrifying thing you’ve ever done. because you’re so used to watching watching eggs roll off the countertop and kisses slip off of your cheek that everything worthwhile seems fleeting. fragile. forced. like the universe is playing a game to see how good you are at playing catch with crystal balls. but you’ve gotta believe in the potential of durability. if you’ve managed to exist for this long without giving up, you must believe in something, and it must be pretty special. don’t lose it now. not after all this time.

LEO: maybe it feels like the april showers will never stop pouring down on you. maybe you keep trying to fix new things with old instruction manuals and end up getting frustrated when the pictures don’t match what’s in front of you. maybe you’re starting to realize that not everything is going to work out the way you need it to and that scares you. it scares you because the last time this happened it almost killed you. but the key word here is almost. you’re more than the rubble you’ve had to sift through and the photographs you’ve had to throw out. you were never meant to burn out. you were designed to endure.

VIRGO: so, you ran away from home. you’re playing hooky from your life because every scenario you’ve found yourself in has ended in blood. and you’re sick of it. you never asked for any of this. but then again, has anyone? I can’t imagine how tiring it must be to build those walls around yourself every morning, before your coffee and your nicotine, before you think about the lover you left behind. have you ever visited the grand canyon? you should. it’s time you found some beauty in what’s below the surface. look at how easy it is to see the sky from here. but please don’t try to fly until you’ve looked down once or twice please.

LIBRA: you ran into the past while crossing the street and you didn’t stop to say hello. were you scared? or were you just waiting for what you abandoned to make the first move? either way, you didn’t say hello and that’s okay. you don’t have to feel shameful about the ugliness of your progress. not everybody’s carriage stays a carriage when the clock strikes midnight. that doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. that doesn’t mean it wasn’t real or valuable. you ran into the past while crossing the street and it didn’t hurt you. not this time. not you.

SCORPIO: everybody around you seems to be darting across the universe with their hearts on their sleeves and it makes you feel as though something is wrong with you. as if the molasses town your feet are submerged in is something that you asked for, that you wanted. you know, you don’t have to travel at the speed of light in order to get out of bed in the morning and that’s still something miraculous, especially when every part of you is begging to pull the covers over your eyes and dream a little longer. I’m proud of you for fighting that feeling. I know it’s hard. I know it’s hard.

SAGITTARIUS: I think that it’s time for you to start believing in fairy tales again. do you remember being smaller? looking for magic around every corner? that spark doesn’t leave once you outgrow the disney themed bedsheets and wear holes in the light-up sneakers. nobody needs you to be the grown-up all of the time, it’s okay to let yourself feel lighthearted again. go pick some daisies or buy some gelato. take care of yourself the way you would’ve before the world showed you its shadows.

CAPRICORN: the monsters under your bed have been keeping you awake for months but you don’t have the heart to drive them away. you’ve kinda liked the company. you’ve been throwing them scraps from the dinner table that you couldn’t finish and have taken pleasure in listening to what you couldn’t stomach be put to use. but, baby, you don’t have to be kind to the things that make you shudder in the night. you’re not obligated to give to the things that take and take and take until there’s nothing left. reclaim your bedroom. this, this is yours. it always will be.

AQUARIUS: sometimes you find yourself thinking about the cost of living. how much of yourself you’ve had to trade in order to stay alive. it’s really easy to get angry, when you see that other people have traded so much less and gotten so much more. but don’t let yourself get caught up in the what-if’s because that’s a maze that’ll never let you leave, no matter the strength of the compass you bring with you. forgive yourself for what you’ve had to do to survive. it doesn’t make sense to be ashamed of all you’ve gone through, when everyone else just wants to watch you succeed. we’re rooting for you.

PISCES: you’ve become an expert at mending the bridges that people have burned in your wake and I hope that you see the beauty in that. the talent it takes to reconstruct a pathway between two islands is immense and you’ve forgotten this in all of the excitement. you’ve accomplished great things in such a short time, and it’s breathtaking. truly. when you were born everybody in the room must’ve held their breath, because how could they not see what they were bringing into the world? sure, you’ve caused a few accidents. but you’re working to fix the damage. you’re trying. that’s enough.

ARIES: the clocks have all been telling you that you’re late for figuring yourself out. which is another way of saying that it feels as though time itself has been harassing you because you don’t know who you are yet. and hey, fuck ‘em. time is a construct: while you? you’re here. you’re breathing. you’re taking the alarms and setting them for 12pm because this is your life and you dictate what it’ll be filled with. don’t worry about the calendars or the deadlines. you’ll find yourself when you’re ready. take as many seconds as you need.

;the touch of silk (m)

pairing: min yoongi x reader, sugar daddy! yoongi, vampire! yoongi
genre/warnings: smut, romance, blood mentions, but nothing too crazy, dirty talk, dom! Yoongi
words: 14,221

:: summary— in a world where vampires coexist with the living, there are many humans looking for a cheap thrill…you’re ashamed to admit you’re curious too, putting to good use a dating app you find…but Min Yoongi is nothing like you imagined a vampire to be…

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How to Write a Novel:  Tips For Visual Thinkers.

1.  Plotting is your friend.

This is basically a must for all writers (or at least, it makes our job significantly easier/less time consuming/less likely to make us want to rip our hair out by the roots), but visual thinkers tend to be great at plotting.  There’s something about a visible outline that can be inexplicably pleasing to us, and there are so many great ways to go about it.   Here are a few examples: 

  • The Three-Act Structure
    • This one is one of the simplest:  it’s divided into the tried-and-true three acts, or parts, a la William Shakespeare, and includes a basic synopsis of what happens in each.  It’s simple, it’s familiar, it’s easy to add to, and it get’s the job done. 
    • It starts with Act I – i.e. the set-up, or establishing the status quo – which is usually best if it’s the shortest act, as it tends to bore audiences quickly.  This leads to Act II, typically the longest, which   introduces the disruptor and shows how characters deal with it, and is sandwiched by Act III (the resolution.)  
  • The Chapter-by-Chapter
    • This is the one I use the most.  It allows you to elucidate on the goings on of your novel in greater detail than the quintessential three act synopsis generally could, fully mapping out your manuscript one chapter at a time.  The descriptions can be as simple or as elaborate as you need them to be, and can be added to or edited throughout the progression of your novel.
    • Can easily be added to/combined with the three-act structure.
  • The Character Arc(s)
    • This isn’t one that I’ve used a lot, but it can be a lot of fun, particularly for voice-driven/literary works:  instead on focusing on the events of the plot, this one centralizes predominantly around the arc of your main character/characters.  As with its plot-driven predecessors, it can be in point-by-point/chapter-by-chapter format, and is a great way to map out character development.  
  • The Tent Moments
    • By “tent moments,” I mean the moments that hold up the foundation (i.e. the plot) of the novel, in the way that poles and wires hold up a tent.  This one builds off of the most prevalent moments of the novel – the one’s you’re righting the story around – and is great for writers that want to cut straight to the action.  Write them out in bullet points, and plan the rest of the novel around them.
  • The Mind Map
    • This one’s a lot of fun, and as an artist, I should probably start to use it more.  It allows you to plot out your novel the way you would a family tree, using doodles, illustrations, and symbols to your heart’s content.  Here’s a link to how to create basic mind maps on YouTube.

2.  “Show don’t tell” is probably your strong suit.

If you’re a visual thinker, your scenes are probably at least partially originally construed as movie scenes in your head.  This can be a good thing, so long as you can harness a little of that mental cinematography and make your readers visualize the scenes the way you do.

A lot of published authors have a real big problem with giving laundry lists of character traits rather than allowing me to just see for myself.  Maybe I’m spoiled by the admittedly copious amounts of fanfiction I indulge in, where the writer blissfully assumes that I know the characters already and let’s the personalities and visuals do the talking.  Either way, the pervasive “telling” approach does get tedious.

Here’s a hypothetical example.  Let’s say you wanted to describe a big, tough, scary guy, who your main character is afraid of.  The “tell” approach might go something like this:

Tommy was walking along when he was approached by a big, tough, scary guy who looked sort of angry.

“Hey, kid,” said the guy.  “Where are you going?”

“I’m going to a friend’s house,” Tommy replied.  

I know, right?  This is Boring with a capital ‘B.’  

On the other hand, let’s check out the “show” approach:

The man lumbered towards Tommy, shaved head pink and glistening in the late afternoon sun.  His beady eyes glinted predatorily beneath the thick, angry bushes of his brows.

“Hey, kid,” the man grunted, beefy arms folded over his pot belly.  “Where are you going?” 

“I’m going to a friend’s house,” Tommy replied, hoping the man didn’t know that he was ditching school.

See how much better that is?  We don’t need to be told the man is big, tough, and scary looking because the narrative shows us, and draws the reader a lot more in the process.  

This goes for scene building, too.  For example: 

Exhibit A:

Tyrone stepped out onto his balcony.  It was a beautiful night.

Lame.  

Exhibit B: 

Tyrone stepped out onto his balcony, looking up at the inky abyss of the night sky, dotted with countless stars and illuminated by the buttery white glow of the full moon.

Much better.

3.  But conversely, know when to tell.

A book without any atmosphere or vivid, transformative descriptors tends to be, by and large, a dry and boring hunk of paper.  That said, know when you’re showing the reader a little too much.

Too many descriptors will make your book overflow with purple prose, and likely become a pretentious read that no one wants to bother with.

So when do you “tell” instead of “show?”  Well, for starters, when you’re transitioning from one scene to the next.

For example:

As the second hand of the clock sluggishly ticked along, the sky ever-so-slowly transitioning from cerulean, to lilac, to peachy sunset.  Finally, it became inky black, the moon rising above the horizon and stars appearing by the time Lakisha got home.

These kind of transitions should be generally pretty immemorable, so if yours look like this you may want to revise.

Day turned into evening by the time Lakisha got home. 

See?  It’s that simple.

Another example is redundant descriptions:  if you show the fudge out of a character when he/she/they are first introduced and create an impression that sticks with the reader, you probably don’t have to do it again.  

You can emphasize features that stand out about the character (i.e. Milo’s huge, owline eyes illuminated eerily in the dark) but the reader probably doesn’t need a laundry list of the character’s physical attributes every other sentence.  Just call the character by name, and for God’s sake, stay away from epithets:  the blond man.  The taller woman.  The angel.  Just, no.  If the reader is aware of the character’s name, just say it, or rework the sentence. 

All that said, it is important to instill a good mental image of your characters right off the bat.

Which brings us to my next point…

4.  Master the art of character descriptions.

Visual thinkers tend to have a difficult time with character descriptions, because most of the time, they tend to envision their characters as played their favorite actors, or as looking like characters from their favorite movies or TV shows.

That’s why you’ll occasionally see characters popping up who are described as looking like, say, Chris Evans.  

It’s a personal pet peeve of mine, because A) what if the reader has never seen Chris Evans?  Granted, they’d probably have to be living on Mars, but you get the picture:  you don’t want your readers to have to Google the celebrity you’re thirsting after in order for them to envision your character.  B) It’s just plain lazy, and C) virtually everyone will know that the reason you made this character look like Chris Evans is because you want to bang Chris Evans.  

Not that that’s bad or anything, but is that really what you want to be remembered for?

Now, I’m not saying don’t envision your characters as famous attractive people – hell, that’s one of the paramount joys of being a writer.  But so’s describing people!  Describing characters is a lot of fun, draws in the reader, and really brings your character to life.

So what’s the solution?  If you want your character to look like Chris Evans, describe Chris Evans.

Here’s an example of what I’m talking about:

Exhibit A:

The guy got out of the car to make sure Carlos was alright, and holy cow, he looked just like Dean Winchester!

No bueno.  Besides the fact that I’m channeling the writing style of 50 Shades of Grey a little here, everyone who reads this is going to process that you’re basically writing Supernatural fanfiction.  That, or they’ll have to Google who Dean Winchester is, which, again, is no good.

Exhibit B:  

The guy got out of the car to make sure Carlos was alright, his short, caramel blond hair stirring in the chilly wind and a smattering of freckles across the bridge of his nose.  His eyes were wide with concern, and as he approached, Carlos could see that they were gold-tinged, peridot green in the late afternoon sun.

Also note that I’m keeping the description a little vague here;  I’m doing this for two reasons, the first of which being that, in general, you’re not going to want to describe your characters down to the last detail.  Trust me.  It’s boring, and your readers are much more likely to become enamored with a well-written personality than they are a vacant sex doll.  Next, by keeping the description a little vague, I effectively manage to channel a Dean Winchester-esque character without literally writing about Dean Winchester.

Let’s try another example: 

Exhibit A:

Charlotte’s boyfriend looked just like Idris Elba. 

Exhibit B:  

Charlotte’s boyfriend was a stunning man, eyes pensive pools of dark brown amber and a smile so perfect that it could make you think he was deliciously prejudiced in your favor.  His skin was dark copper, textured black hair gray at the temples, and he filled out a suit like no other.

Okay, that one may have been because I just really wanted to describe Idris Elba, but you get the point:  it’s more engaging for the reader to be able to imagine your character instead of mentally inserting some sexy fictional character or actor, however beloved they may be.

So don’t skimp on the descriptions!

5.  Don’t be afraid to find inspiration in other media!

A lot of older people recommend ditching TV completely in order to improve creativity and become a better writer.  Personally, if you’ll pardon my French, I think this is bombastic horseshit.  

TV and cinema are artistic mediums the same way anything else is.  Moreover, the sheer amount of fanart and fanfiction – some of which is legitimately better than most published content – is proof to me that you can derive inspiration from these mediums as much as anything else.

The trick is to watch media that inspires you.  I’m not going to say “good media” because that, in and of itself, is subjective.  I, for example, think Supernatural is a fucking masterpiece of intertextual postmodernism and amazing characterization, whereas someone else might think it’s a hot mess of campy special effects and rambling plotlines.  Conversely, one of my best friends loves Twilight, both the movies and the books, which, I’m going to confess, I don’t get at all.  But it doesn’t matter that it isn’t good to me so long as it’s good to her.   

So watch what inspires you.  Consume any whatever movies, books, and shows you’re enthusiastic about, figure out what you love most about them, and apply that to your writing.  Chances are, readers will find your enthusiasm infectious.

As a disclaimer, this is not to say you get a free pass from reading:  I’ve never met a good writer who didn’t read voraciously.  If you’re concerned that you can’t fall in love with books the way you used to (which, sadly, is a common phenomenon) fear not:  I grappled with that problem after I started college, and I’ll be posting an article shortly on how to fall back in love reading.

So in the meanwhile, be sure to follow my blog, and stay tuned for future content!

(This one goes out to my friend, beta reader, and fellow writer @megpieeee, who is a tremendous visual thinker and whose books will make amazing movies someday.)

✰ * º ❛ even more popular text posts ask meme. ❜

‘  my kink is getting some fuckin sleep.  ’
‘  omg here goes your lil crybaby ass.  ’
‘  the beatles wouldn’t even fucking exist if big time rush hadn’t paved the path for them so shut the fuck up.  ’
‘  don’t start buddy. don’t you dare.  ’
‘  gay rights? true, as a gay, i am always right.  ’
‘  not to vent, but: fuck.  ’
‘  the worst pain is to make small talk with someone you once told everything to.  ’
‘  i think i accidentally break my own heart a lot.  ’
‘  sometimes ‘brb’ stands for ‘be ready bitch’ so you have to be careful.  ’
‘  i want to kiss you in a way that makes you not want to kiss anyone else ever again.  ’
‘  shout out to the people who are still friends with me even though i’m a fucking idiot.  ’
‘  it’s safe to assume that at any given moment i want to go back to bed.  ’
‘  i’m a big fan of anything that will help me chill the fuck out.  ’
‘  i don’t go through people’s pictures on their phone cause i wasn’t raised in the jungle.  ’
‘  i think we, as a people, just need to have a glass of water.  ’
‘  i don’t have enough black clothes.  ’
‘  sweetie, i could sleep for ten years and i’d still be tired.  ’
‘  i would sleep so much better with your arms wrapped around me.  ’
‘  me??? tired??? sleepy??? yes, constantly.  ’
‘  i’m pb&j – petty, bitter, and jealous.  ’
‘  the fact that sloths aren’t extinct somehow proves that if you go at your own pace and mind your own fucking business you too can succeed.  ’
‘  i wish i could be the person i want to be, but i’m too tired.  ’
‘  i always look sleep deprived. is that hot?  ’
‘  just because there’s always room for improvement doesn’t mean you’ll never be good enough.  ’
‘  my heart is a soft and sensitive mess.  ’
‘  all i want is a big garden and no responsibilities.  ’
‘  honestly someone not liking beyonce is a deal breaker and not for any political reasons, but just like you’re probably, definitely really boring.  ’
‘  hey guys, i’m a huge fan of genuine love and affection.  ’
‘  now i’m falling asleep and she’s calling a crab and he’s having a smoke and she’s kissing the crab.  ’
‘  i’ve been ever since i heard ‘lonely’ by akon at 9 years-old.  ’
‘  my new years resolution is to stop.  ’
‘  i’m irritated cause i’m not lovable in a romantic soulmate way.  ’
‘  i hate knowing that people that ruined parts of me still live and function like nothing ever happened.  ’
‘  i know i’m cute, but you can remind me.  ’
‘  hey, just wondering, but are you fucking kidding me????  ’
‘  i can’t wait to be in love with someone who is also deepfuck in love with me and we love each other forever n’ ever.  ’
‘  me? clingy? yes. please don’t leave me.  ’
‘  girlfriend application compatibility question: do you keep your depression pile on the bed or on the floor?  ’
‘  anything heart shaped is automatically 200% better. this is a fact.  ’
‘  today’s agenda: screaming into the abyss.  ’
‘  going from ‘today is a good day’ to ‘i hate my life’ takes me approximately 2.6 seconds.  ’
‘  everyone needs to wash their face and go to bed.  ’
‘  i’m worth so much more than the ways i’ve been treated.  ’
‘  hey, can i claim you guys as dependents on my taxes?  ’
‘  i really just ignore phone calls. like leave a message. i don’t check those either but like  ’
‘  i honestly just want to pack my bags and go travel the world and see and explore everything possible.  ’
‘  remember being little and thinking dandelions were fun or a pretty color or something and every adult in an 80 mile radius wouldn’t let you say that without screaming IT’S A WEED.  ’
‘  why did we just accept catdog?  ’
‘  my ‘stay in bed all day’ game’s too strong.  ’
‘  you deserve to be loved without having to hide the parts of yourself that you think are unlovable.  ’
‘  i always forget that i literally don’t owe anyone anything!  ’
‘  i wonder what it feels like to know what the fuck is going on.  ’
‘  honestly… us girls? us women? we always out here, knowin.  ’
‘  would an alien think i’m pretty?  ’
‘  i love boys, but only as a concept.  ’
‘  why do parents get mad when you sleep in all day? like i’m staying out of trouble and i’m not spending your money like what’s the issue here????  ’
‘  i identify as an inconvenience to the world.  ’
‘  i seriously regret telling anyone, anything, ever lmao  ’
‘  dating me is like dating a five year-old. i need all of your attention and i’m cranky if i haven’t had a nap.  ’
‘  i’m literally tired of myself.  ’
‘  don’t introduce me to ur parents unless you plan on marrying me because they’re going to love me and ask about me for the rest of your life lol  ’
‘  what the hell is a straight person? only straight thing i know about is the edge of my beloved sword.  ’
‘  i highly recommend never having feelings.  ’
‘  self care is going into a cornfield at night to get abducted by aliens.  ’
‘  staying up late with another human is such a weird thing like you get this special bond and a what-is-this feeling  ’
‘  do u ever feel like ur not even friends with ur friends?  ’
‘  um no offense but whom’st’ve going to loveth me?  ’
‘  date a girl who fucks everything up.  ’
‘  not all who mcfreakin wander are mcfreakin lost.  ’
‘  i may legally be an adult but don’t be fooled. i have no idea what i’m doing.  ’
‘  a fun and interesting fact about me is that i’m a fucking idiot.  ’
‘  you can start again anytime!  ’
‘  all you can do is learn your lesson. there’s no point in wishing you had did differently. the past is the past.  ’
‘  i can’t believe an angel like me has to suffer so much.  ’
‘  you’re all so obsessed with love and being loved. what about just going to sleep?  ’
‘  i’m smart, but i do dumb shit anyway.  ’
‘  tbh i never deal with my emotions. i just let them ravage my body and then go to bed and then i wake up and do it all over again.  ’
‘  first of all: i don’t know shit, so jot that down.  ’
‘  i’ll just ¯\ _(ツ)_/¯ my way through life.  ’
‘  i’m tired of things costing money.  ’
‘  don’t you hate it when you’re dead inside and run out of apps to refresh?  ’
‘  who cares? do better, move on.  ’
‘  i don’t need a significant other. just a significant income.  ’
‘  appreciation for everyone who’s ever talked to me bc i’m annoying and dumb.  ’
‘  thnks fr th mntl llnss.  ’
‘  what  hasn’t killed me has just made me overly sensitive and defensive.  ’
‘  i don’t know shit ya’ll!!!!! i’m just out here.  ’
‘  binge-watching is great until you run out of the show and have to start watching it weekly like some sort of medieval peasant.  ’
‘  i’m in the wrong realm and i think everyone can tell.  ’
‘  this might come as a shock but I’m Not Feelin too good my dudes.  ’
‘  i’m alive, but only ironically.  ’
‘  there she goes again being over dramatic and by she, i mean me.  ’
‘  do you ever feel like have tried Too Hard to a friend and now you have become That Obnoxious Weirdo?  ’
‘  lgbt: lasagna! garfield’s beloved treat.  ’
‘  my favorite phrase in the english language is ‘i shit you not.’  ’
‘  i’m a real boring bitch! a snoozer!  ’
‘  i honestly look so good lounging in an oversized t-shirt and no pants. when will someone experience the blessing of domestic living w/ me?  ’
‘  you don’t understand how hard it is to take a selfie when you’re ugly.  ’
‘  you son of a mumford!  ’
‘  hi, i’m here to ruin everything.  ’
‘  you can tell a lot about a person by looking at their hands. for example, if it’s a skeleton hand then they’re dead.  ’
‘  the year is 2020 and i am found guilty of treason against the united states for vague blogging that i hate someone and donald trump thought it was about him.  ’
‘  everybody calm down, we’re going to be fine! :))) we’ve weathered worse than this! :) :) :) :) really all this panic just seems like a huge overreaction imho   ’
‘  no beta readers. we publish our crap writing like men.  ’
‘  i need $$$$$ not feelings.  ’
‘  ‘idk imma see’ = i ain’t coming, never was coming, never considered it, never gave it a single thought, only remembered cause you asked again.  ’
‘  oops, i don’t care lol  ’
‘  why girls always crop the halo out of their selfies? stop being so modest. we know the truth.  ’
‘  maurice, you’re not gonna fucking believe this,  ’
‘  i always get told i look like a bitch bc i’m always glaring while i walk, but i’m not glaring, i’m squinting. i have sensitive eyes. they’re watering.  ’
‘  concept: it’s 3 am. candle lit room. a record is spinning. you’re kissing me. we have no worries in the world. we’re warm and content.  ’
‘  i need to go into the forest and scream for an hour and a half.  ’
‘  pls kill all men who yell at girls from cars.  ’
‘  life really isn’t what i expected it to be. less quicksand. almost no quicksand to be honest. lots of metaphorical quicksand tho.  ’
‘  i have a question for u: like are u done… like is it over?  ’
‘  we all have that one person who ruins your day by being alive.  ’
‘  we all have that one person who ruins your day by being alive. for me, it’s myself.  ’
‘  whenever i see police i always try not to act suspicious and fail internally even though i never did anything wrong.  ’
‘  new years resolution: less bitter, more glitter.  ’

Originally posted by knightlley

turning me on | jeff atkins

anon request: can i request a jeff atkins imagine with #8 and #33? maybe jeff took his girlfriend (reader) to a party with him and you could take it from there. thank you!

8) “you’re turning me on.”

33) “come sit on my lap.”

warnings: fluff, almost smut

a/n: ok but that gif is so hot. FIRST IMAGINE OF MY BBY <3

Keep reading

darling, I know you’ve been feeling down lately, so I wrote this really quick for you. I’m not sure what you had in mind, but I went to a 100 % unicorns place, so I hope this makes you smile a little.


A shadow falls across Stiles’ worksheet and he looks up to see Lydia, mouth pursed, staring down at him. She says, “What do you know about unicorns?”

“About as much as the average eleven year old boy,” he says, which is: not much. Horse-like, pointy horn, something to do with virgins.

Of course, he goes home and finds out everything he can about them immediately. Both because Lydia asked, and because now he can’t stop thinking about it.

Lydia has forgotten all about their conversation by the time he’s ready to dazzle her with his knowledge, so alas, his mad unicorn skillz lie dormant for years, until all the shit with the werewolves.

*

Stiles is cat-napping in a spill of sun when all his warmth is blocked—he makes an irritated sound and opens his eyes to find Derek looming over him, frowning.  Stiles kicks out a foot and rolls over onto his side in the grass.

Derek says, “What do you know about unicorns?”

Stiles yawns and says, “A surprising amount for a teenage boy.”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Headcanons for losers club meeting in group therapy.

I took this a bit further than I meant to, I hope you like it though because I love addressing mental health
(I based it off my own experiences and knowledge so I’m so so sorry if anything is not accurate)

- They all have the same therapist (she’s called Jackie) but they’ve never met each other

- she takes them all for different things

- Bill has depression from loosing his brother (‘n-n-not dead…j-j-just m-m-missing) and anger issues from getting frustrated with his stutter

- Beverly has depression and PTSD from her father and addiction to smoking

- Ben has social anxiety and topophobia from moving so much and getting bullied

- Mike has insomnia and PTSD from his parents death and having to work on the farm

- Richie has ADHD, bipolar disorder and addiction to smoking just from genetics and how his parents treat him

- Stan has chronic OCD and anxiety from his father being a perfectionist

- Eddie has chronic Mysophobia , anxiety and is the worst hypochondriac she’s ever seen

- She has problems with all of them being closed off for some reason

- Bill doesn’t like talking because when he tries to talk about loosing his brother his stutter gets worse, then he gets frustrated and gets overwhelmed

- Beverly just can’t bring herself to talk about it, talking about her dad sets off her PTSD and she gets super defensive about her smoking

- Ben is actually quite intimidated by Jackie, he knows deep down that she wants to help but can’t help but feel like he’s just putting his problems on someone else’s shoulders

- Mike is the easiest one to open up, he needs to know that someone is there and supporting him but at the same time he can’t talk about his parents without tearing up

- Richie talks about everything that isn’t his problems and wastes their hour pretty much every time, although some days he comes in and pours his little heart out

- Stan has told himself if he lets people know about his problems and says them out loud then it’ll make it all worse

- Eddies the only one who’ll willingly talk about what’s happening although he’s insecure about telling her incase she thinks he’s stupid

- so basically, she has a hard time with all of them but she still wants to help them all so bad

- So she proposes to her team leader that she should have an extra session with them once a week where they’re all together

- once she gets the all clear, she tells them about it

- They all agree sounded slightly worried and unwilling, other than Richie who was having a fantastic day and is ready to meet his new fucking friends

- the first session was…interesting to say the least

- Jackie set the chairs in a circle

- the first to arrive was Stan, he always needed to be early no matter what incase he missed something and took the seat next to Jackie

- Eddie was the second to arrive, he took the seat on the other side of her

- As a therapist, this warmed her heart as she knew they did that to feel safer

- She introduced them and got them talking about why bedrooms should be kept tidy, needless to say they become friends right away

- Bill was the third to arrive, he had gotten the wrong room at first and was kinda upset

- he walked in whispering the paragraph that helped his stutter, looking down

- He didn’t look up until he was sitting down at the furthest seat from Jackie in the circle

- She started to introduce them but he honestly wasn’t listening, he was too busy staring at the cute boy with curly hair in front of him

- Stan catches him staring but that doesn’t stop him, he just watches as Stan’s cheeks redden

- next to arrive is Ben and Mike, they weren’t really friends yet but they helped each other find the room

- And finally, Bev and Richie walked in taking as if they had been friends for years (slightly late)

- apparently Richie’s lighter had given up on him so Bev offered hers up, they became friends pretty quickly

- Ben is awestruck by Bev

- They both sat in the remaining two seats left

- As soon as Richie sat down he noticed the small boy next to Jackie and ended up doing the exact thing Bill did with Stan

- Jackie goes around the circle, asking everyone to introduce themselves and their problem and also say how they’re feeling today

- When it comes to Richie, he’s still looking at Eddie

- ‘I’m Richie, I have ADHD and I’m so fucking gay right now’

- Everyone (including Jackie) laughs, they like Richie already

- The session went okay, nothing too interesting happened and they just talked about stuff

- Jackie definitely noticed how they became more open as the hour passed by

- Although Richie spends most the time flirting with Eddie

- Stan leaves last, Bill waits for him by the front door and Stan swears he didn’t tear up a little

- Bill does this and walks Stan home after every session, after the sixth time they start holding hands

- Eddie eventually grows super fond of Richie so one day when said boy walks in and doesn’t talk or even really look up the whole hour, Eddie is pretty worried

- after the session, Jackie asks to talk to Richie privately and Eddie waits by the front of the building even though it’s raining

- Richie comes out after ten minutes, sniffling with red tearful eyes

- ‘Oh hey, Eddie spaghetti….isn’t your mom worried you’re not home yet?’

- 'I’m more concerned about you than my mom right now’

- Richie offers to walk Eddie home, giving Eddie his black denim jacket littered with patches somewhere along the way

- Richie also uses this time to explain his ADHD and bipolar disorder to Eddie

- 'Is there any chance I could get my jacket back? I’ll probably stay out for a bit’

- 'Sure…why are you staying out if it’s raining?’

- 'Just, parents and stuff yanno’

- with that, Eddie demands Richie stay over until his mum comes back or the rain stops

- Ben starts writing little notes and poems which he puts on Bev’s seat before every session and are signed anonymously

- Bev thinks it’s Bill at first but she sees Stan and Bill holding hands on the way home so she crosses him off the list

- one day, whilst she’s out smoking to get away from her dad she bumps into Richie

- she decides he’s a good smoking buddy and they become close, sneaking out pretty much every night to smoke together

- Richie saw Ben putting a note on Bev’s seat one day and honestly he just can’t keep it to himself

- 'Why don’t you ask Ben if he’s your secret admirer?’

- 'I might just do that’

- She leaves a note on his seat one day, with her number and the words 'my heart burns there too’

- To say Jackie is pleased with them and her decision to make their group is an understatement

You know what to do (add more) - xo

imagine vampire yoongi.

Originally posted by myloveseokjin

  • just when you thought he couldn’t get any grumpier, min yoongi is cursed to walk the earth for all eternity.
  • yikes.
  • so done with the world’s shit by now, honestly he stopped caring a long, long, looooong time ago and if anyone expects him to give a flying fuck about a hashtag or the panda’s dying they can think again.
  • political scandal? “is that a new band?”
  • global warming? “good, it’s kinda drafty here.”
  • the sun will one day grow to encompass the earth? “great, i’ll be waiting.”
  • whenever he gets bored or impatient with everything he’ll just go to ground and hibernate. 
  • by which i mean he will literally dig himself a hole and go to sleep in the earth for anything from a week to a century (ok that was one time.)
  • and he’s cold all. the. time. like, yeah i know he’s technically dead but he actually feels the cold all the time, because he lowkey starves himself.
  • so he’s always very bundled up, and doesn’t really notice the temperature shift from inside/outside or winter/summer.
  • and yoongi is old, okay, he doesn’t need much blood to keep him going. 
  • he’s got a short list of donors he can have a few sips from during the week, and that way nobody has to die because of him.
  • because ugh slaughter is such a pain to clean up.
  • so, not only is he technically dead, but he looks kinda malnourished, a little sick, and like he hasn’t slept. ever. 
  • and yet he’s very pretty, flawless, stoic, and distractingly magnetic.
  • because he’s so old however, he’s not weak, just lethargic af.
  • there’s just one thing he cares about. wanna take a wild guess?
  • music.
  • the only reason he hasn’t sunk to the bottom of the ocean, flung himself into a volcano, or walked into the sunset by now.
  • and when you don’t need to eat, sleep, or pee, you get through a lot of music so yoongi has pretty much heard it all.
  • these days he just kinda hibernates and wanders around while he’s waiting for new releases.
  • and you work in a record shop. wow isn’t that a nice coinkydink.
  • his usual place shuts down and he has to find a new shop that’ll let him sit around and listen to music in the evenings. 
  • and your place of work is exactly one such place.
  • he comes in late, depending on the season, just when the sun has gone down, during the last few hours of your work day.  
  • he doesn’t say anything, just sits and listens until you have to lock up.
  • and you just assume he works all day and this is the only time he has to go browse, although you notice eventually that he rarely buys anything, but you decide to leave him alone because he looks like he’s had one hell of a day.
  • anyway it’s nice not to be alone in the shop at the end of the day when it gets dark and all.
  • you tried to offer him coffee once, because you got some for yourself and he always looks like he just got in from a snowstorm. but he just shook his head no.
  • and at first he would stop by the shop once a month or every two weeks.
  • but one night, when you play something over the speakers that he hasn’t heard in decades, he suddenly feels???? nostalgic ????
  • and with wide eyes he asks you the name of the artist and you trip all over yourself and your words trying to tell him because you don’t think you’ve ever heard him speak and wow is that what his voice sounds like
  • and after that he starts coming every night to rediscover all the old stuff he hasn’t listened to in ages, because somehow in all his grump he had completely forgotten he could do that???? 
  • and he’s lowkey very grateful that he rediscovered his love of music through you, so whenever you try to make polite conversation with him after that he doesn’t just grunt or shake his head, he gives you actual answers, and you start learning more about him.
  • you let him stay after closing time, just a little while until you have to go, making small talk whenever he’s not absorbed in the music.
  • that way you learn so, sO much about music, everything from little technical details to great historical context, and you don’t understand how one man can have such a large range of knowledge.
  • and then you start playing whichever album he chooses over the speakers so that you can both listen and talk about the music together.
  • and stay around longer so he can finish whichever album he’s listening to that evening.
  • and he begins to walk you home because that way you can continue your conversations, and also it’s late and dark and he knows exactly what kind of monsters lurk in these shadows.
  • and by that time you’re already head over heels for him, but he’s very careful about keeping his distance, so you just assume he’s not attracted to you and that’s fine as long as he keeps keeping you company.
  • yoongi has probably mentioned he’s a vampire.
  • like at least twice he’s proclaimed to be dead and you just assumed you didn’t get the joke.
  • but the real joke is he’s dead, he doesn’t care who knows, and it’s not like anyone will believe him anyway.
  • “you’re too thin, when was the last time you ate something, yoongi?”
  • “a couple centuries probably, what year is it again?”
  • and
  • “you’re so pale, yoongi, you should get more sun.”
  • “i’m already dead, a little sun isn’t gonna help.”
  • or
  • “you look tired, yoongi, do you get enough sleep?”
  • “i took a ten year nap before this, don’t worry.”
  • or
  • “hey, yoongi, how are you today?”
  • “dead. could be worse, i guess.”
  • lmao rip.
  • and then, you go and get a dang paper cut.
  • before you can so much as bring it to your lips yoongi is already at your side, pressing a tissue (where did that even come from?) to the cut so firmly it cuts off circulation to the entire finger anyway.
  • and he’s so,,,,, close. 
  • you’ve never seen him so close, and all you can do is stare at him like an idiot and wonder how many people have specks of red in their eyes, because you’ve never seen that on anyone before.
  • and he doesn’t even breathe. he can’t.
  • and that’s when you realise “yoongi, you’re so cold!”
  • “i’m dead. i told you, i’m a vampire.”
  • and you’re like hha,,, hah,,,ha? w-what? 
  • so he takes your other hand, and holds it to the side of his neck and he’s completely cold and there’s no pulse.
  • and now the cat is out of the bag so he may as well lean in and sniff you because life’s too short amirite.
  • “you smell……….. incredible.”
  • that’s when you see his lil fangs.
  • and at first you’re freaking out because hol ?? ?y STHIT???
  • but then you realise, this is yoongi, who’s walked you home for months now, he’s had every opportunity to drain you dry and he hasn’t and you’re desperately in love with him.
  • so you just kinda,,,,, chill.
  • and yoongi looks surprised, expecting you to kick and scream, and asks why your heart rate suddenly slowed again and you tell him it’s because you trust him.
  • so, he asks “but what if i bit you?”
  • and you say “you wouldn’t.”
  • “then,,,,,,,, what if i kissed you?”
  • your heart damn near beats right out of your chest.
  • and in response he gives you the smuggest grin, fangs and all.
  • anyway, nsfw under the cut.

Keep reading

“Is this 03 or Brotherhood?”, the definitive guide

I know a lot of people have trouble telling the two FMA anime apart, and I’ve noticed an increase in confusion lately, so I thought I’d make a post to help clear it up! I’ll go over some telltale differences between the two styles, in order of ease. For images, Brotherhood will be on the left, and 03 on the right.

1. Al’s armor

If Al is present in an image, he’s the quickest way to tell the difference between the two series. 03 Al is fairly greenish in hue, and his face looks similar to the early stages of the manga, with a very rectangular chin. Brotherhood Al is much greyer, a little shinier, perhaps a bit bulkier, and his face is more angular with a curvier chin, giving him something of a permanent >:( face. His toes curve up in Brotherhood, but not in 03. Also, since the fight with Buccaneer never happened in 03, if Al’s ponytail is short, it’s definitely Brotherhood!

2. Characters who appear in one series but not the other

This is something of a no-brainer, but it’s worth mentioning. Look at what characters are present in the image. Anyone who appears after the Dublith arc in the manga/Brotherhood would not be in 03. Conversely, characters such as Dante, Lujon, Archer, the Tringham brothers, and Leo don’t appear in Brotherhood.

3. The women

While this doesn’t necessarily apply to every screencap, women in 03 tend to have somewhat defined lips, while they don’t usually in Brotherhood (with the exception of Olivier, who wouldn’t be in 03 anyway). This is especially true of promotional art, as opposed to screencaps.

4. The chain

(Running in the shadooooows~)

On every Amestrian military uniform, there’s a rope chain on the right shoulder, which also attaches to the front of the breast. In 03, the bit connecting the chain to the front of the uniform is braided, while in Brotherhood, that portion is a single cord.

5. Colors + general vague feeling

Colors can sometimes be used to tell the difference, if the lighting is standard. Colors in Brotherhood are fairly muted, but not too dark, and generally stick to shades of red, blue, yellow, black, white, and brown. They might almost be described as pastel, at least compared to 03. While colors in 03 are usually more saturated than Brotherhood, they’re also a lot darker, and not nearly as coordinated in hue. Also, 03 characters in general tend to have something of a youthful look to them, compared to Brotherhood, and noses are usually longer and pointier than in Brotherhood.

6. Specific character differences

Certain characters have notably different looks between series. If these characters appear in a screencap, you can look to them for clues. Some examples:

  • Ed: His hair is darker and more orange in 03. He also wears the same outfit throughout most of it, while his alternate outfits from Brotherhood don’t appear. His face shape also pretty much stays the same in 03, while in Brotherhood he matures physically towards the end of the series.
  • Al: His human form in 03 has noticeably darker, more brown hair than Ed, whereas in Brotherhood there’s really very little difference between the two. Shamballa Al is also very distinct: Long hair in a ponytail, basically dresses like Ed. Post-Promised Day Brotherhood Al looks older than Shamballa Al, and has short hair.
  • Winry: Her “work outfit” in 03 had a pink bandana and light purple pants. In Brotherhood, the bandana is green, and her pants are tan.
  • Rose: Had dark skin and pink bangs in 03, while in Brotherhood, her skin is light and her bangs are more of an auburn color. She also appeared much more in 03.
  • Scar: 03 Scar looked way younger, and had no cheekbones. Brotherhood Scar has cheekbones and could crush 03 Scar’s teen vogue looking ass with his bare hands.
  • Bradley: Brotherhood Bradley has wrinkles on his forehead, and a very defined nose. 03 Bradley has a more empty face, and also usually a darker skin tone. Brotherhood Bradley also looks a lot more pissed off compared to 03 Bradley, most of the time.
  • Greed: In 03, Greed’s shield form is dark blue with red eyes. In Brotherhood, it’s grey with black eyes. His undershirt is also dark blue in 03, while it’s dark red in Brotherhood. Also, obviously, Greeling does not appear in 03.
  • Kimblee: Brotherhood Kimblee is a suave ass motherfucker with the best fashion sense in the entire series. 03 Kimblee has this absolutely terrible circa 1980s Rachel Summers-esque braid/buzz cut combo that makes me want to cry every time I look at it.
little spoon

To save money while attending college in NYC, Stiles and Derek decide to rent one tiny apartment together. With one bed.

*whispers* I have no idea if any of this is realistic. Don’t judge me.

You guys know by now that practically everything I write is so so fluffy, but this is just like, a whole other level. A little over 4k words of enemies-to-lovers, bed-sharing, & cuddling. ;)  

on ao3

*

The thing is, Stiles is pretty sure he can’t afford to breathe the air in New York City, let alone rent an apartment there. But it’s also been his lifelong dream to go to NYU, same as his mom, and he’s just gotten his acceptance letter in the mail along with a hefty scholarship offer. So he has a bit of a conundrum on his hands.

Enter Derek, who has a (relatively) dirt cheap apartment in Queens.

Okay, so Derek calls it an “apartment.” Stiles calls it an “attic closet.”

It’s nothing but a narrow bed, a foot or so of walking space between that and the wall, and a lone shelf by the door to hold the microwave and all of Derek’s possessions that can’t fit under the bed. There’s not even enough room to open the door all the way; the edge of the door hits the edge of the bed, and then you have to shimmy into the room.

The sad thing is that Stiles can’t even afford that.

He can, however, afford half of it.

“So you’re going to share a bed,” Scott says, looking concerned.

“Yes,” Stiles says.

“No,” Derek says at the same time.

Scott looks more concerned.

Stiles sighs. “Okay, so it’s like this. Derek’s going to be doing the whole normal person schedule, up at the buttcrack of dawn” (Derek rolls his eyes) “and out working and studying and stuff all day and back in bed asleep by 11 pm, and I’m going to be taking all evening classes and working the night shift!”

“We won’t actually ever be in the same place at the same time,” Derek clarifies. “He gets it during the day; I get it at night.”

“Because we can’t stand each other,” Stiles adds, in case Scott is thinking of getting his hopes up that this whole roommates thing is going to be some kind of bromance.

Keep reading

Malec Fanfic Rec!

Malec writing goodies from amazing writers.These are some golden works

4 times Alec almost said I love you, and the one time that he actually did by sufferingbisexual

Alec realized he was in love with Magnus. However when will he be able to actually tell him.

Across the Hall by clato27

“'She looks just like your wife,’ Magnus said, offhandedly. His gaze tore back to Alec when he heard the other man choke on the coffee he was drinking. ‘Oh, I’m sorry, are you two not married.’ 'Uh, no,’ Alec said after recovering from his coughing fit. 'Izzy is my sister.'”

Aka, the “I fell in love with the pregnant girl across the hall’s brother” AU.

Addicted To You by @imawriteriwrite

Magnus Bane’s the head of his own company. Alec Lightwood is in his last year of law school. They’ve never met but have one thing in common: neither does relationships. Just one night stands. That is until they find themselves matched on a hookup app and suddenly one night is not enough.

Also known as the one where Magnus and Alec meet and think they can have no strings attached sex and not develop feelings.

Alecs Husband by NotEvenThat

Max misses Alec and finally demands that he go with Alec and his friend.. Even if Mom says no.

Amor Aeternus by @lolguess

In a world where the Clave encourages soulbonding you would think Magnus and Alec have it easy.

And Then I Met You by @everydayfandom

Sometimes someone comes along and throws you of your life path. And sometimes that’s not such a bad thing.

Bibliophile by @dorkberto

Despite what his sister thinks about his non-existent love life, Alec is not in danger of an oncoming descent into recluse crazy cat owner. For one; Church would eat his competitors for Alec’s undivided attention and two; Alec’s a little hung up over Magnus Bane.

Blue storm by @dorkberto

Ragnor was gone.

Ragnor was gone

Bright Lights, Small Town by @lecrit

When Magnus gets to Nashville, Indiana to handle his late mother’s will, he doesn’t expect to be forced to stay there for six months. Six months away from New York and lost in the wildness of the countryside.

It quickly appears that he is going to go through six months of living hell.

The fact that he hates the local veterinarian on sight isn’t helping.

Broken Arrows by @gibberish10

Over his parabatai’s missing, Alec lashes out at everyone, including Magnus Bane, his warlock lover.

Come Undone by @gibberish10

No one has asked him how he felt, but Alec did.

Complete Me by Maleciseverything

“What one loves in childhood stays in the heart forever.” -Mary Jo Putney

Drop It Like It’s Hot by @janoda

Alec tries to deal with people behaving differently since the wedding. He hadn’t counted on Dylan from Accounting.

Fusion by prfctdaze

Magnus gets the surprise of his life when he walks in to Jade Wolf.

Happy Birthday, Beautiful by @themagnusbane

The thing about having lived for centuries is that birthdays are no longer such a big deal. A pity no one told that to Magnus Bane’s party extraordinaire boyfriend: Alec Lightwood.

Hold me tightly by Tchell1

“I thought you had died, Alexander” Magnus finally said as a way of explaining himself “I saw you die”

Hypnotise by highlytrainedfangirl

Alec had a problem. One that was wrapped up in exquisite clothing and dusted in glitter. Alec was quickly realising that being around Magnus was terrible for his composure. Ignoring the fact that he could barely string a sentence together without tripping over his words, he’d discovered a new distraction: magic.

I found God but it wasn’t supposed to be by @intangibel

After closing a particularly spectacular legal case Magnus sends Ragnor a celebratory text only to find himself the victim of autocorrect and having to explain to a very handsome angel (Alec) that he isn’t God, no matter how much he wishes he was right now.

In The Cards by Obssesivecompulsivereadr

Magnus wore cardigans and baggy slacks. He owned two cats, and he lived in a home more suitable for an elderly mundane woman for a reason. He was to remain boring and unsuitable for most associations with people. He did not like attention, no matter how positive it might be. He was to seem eccentric and weird. Living a life focused on magic that was supposed to not exist.

Into You by @darrenchristsupastar

Alec has more layers than we may have previously thought

It’s Time To Lose Your Virginity, Brother Dearest by @themagnusbane

Magnus Bane is a famous stripper, used to pretty boys falling in love with him after one dance. The feeling is hardly ever mutual. But when he meets the freshly turned twenty-one year old Alec lightwood, he can’t take his eyes off him, and they find themselves in love quicker than they expected.

Looking at him by @jainsel-and-the-ships

Alec Lightwood is in love with his best friend and colleague Jace.
Jace is straight and at the moment he’s dating this Clary girl. Alec is certain it won’t last, as all his friend’s previous relationships.
Then there’s Magnus Bane, another co-worker and a man who sure knows how to make Alec feel embarrassed.
Something’s going on between Alec and Magnus.
Something’s going on between Jace and Clary too…

Magic and Rum by NotEvenThat

Shortly after the party, Magnus finds Max in the kitchen.

Make a home out of you by @thealmostrhetoricalquestion

“There is a delicate system in place and you are destroying it, Alexander Lightwood. Unhand my pants.”

“Now there’s a sentence I never thought I’d hear you say. You’re usually encouraging me to put my hands on your pants.”

Morning hair by @lollylokoala

While Magnus was completely aware of the effect Alec had on him, he didn’t know that a tiny little detail in Alec’s morning look could make his heart skipped a beat.

My Heart Smiles by pseudofoucault333 

Magnus is an interior designer who is dreading going to his yearly Christmas party and Alec a waiter who has dealt with more than enough Christmas cheer to last a lifetime. But when the two set eyes on the other across a crowded restaurant are they going to be destined for more when the festive season is over?

My True Love Gave To Me by @imawriteriwrite

Magnus Bane had a plan, a perfect Christmas Eve just like always. Hang out with his friends, bask in the Christmas Spirit. Then everything went wrong.

Now he’s stuck reliving the same day again and again and again. The bright side? Maybe Alec Lightwood isn’t as terrible as Magnus always thought.

Never Stand Between Two Mirrors by @oncethrown

Alec has enough on his plate right now. His parents are furious at him, Magnus Bane is making him feel things he’s trying so hard not to feel, his wedding is coming up, and his world is breaking apart.What he doesn’t need is a fussy mundane version on himself showing up in the Institute basement. What he doesn’t need is Magnus telling him that they’ll just have to wait for Seelie Magic to suck that version of himself back to his own dimension.But since when does Alec get what he needs?

Alternate Dimension Alec gets trapped in the Shadowhunter reality at some point after the “I know you feel what I feel” scene. The gang desperately tries to stop chaos from ensuing. 

Nothing But A Distraction by @actuallyredorchid

Clary doesn’t sneak away when Alec’s on the phone, so Alec accepts Magnus’ invitation to “go out for a drink”.

Off to a bad start by @fangtasticsaphael

“How did you manage to never run into him? He’s always helping with stuff and he’s even been at the institute about three weeks ago to strengthen the wards against further attacks from Valentine,” she replied and looked at her brother incredulously. Alexander scrunched up his nose and shrugged.

“Well, maybe I have better things to do than waiting around to watch some overrated warlock do magic tricks,” he commented a little defensively but it was the truth. He always had something to do and even when they were not out demon hunting, he had either paperwork to do or train.

“Pardon me, but I’m not just some overrated warlock. I’m the High Warlock of Brooklyn and that title is well deserved, if I may say so. And I’m appalled that you refer to my magic as petty tricks. You Nephilim always act to high and mighty, yet you’re constantly in need of some tricks from overrated warlocks to help you out of some unnecessary dilemma,” a foreign voice interjected and Alec whirled around, fingers instinctively curling around his bow to be ready to attack if need be. The owner of the voice was not what Alexander had expected, to be honest.

Oh lover, hold on by @fireblazie

The mask and goggles clatter to the ground. Isabelle makes a choked noise, and Jace whispers, paper-thin, “Alec?”

Magnus stops breathing as Alec’s gaze—cold, dead, and empty—comes to rest impassively on them.

“Who the hell is Alec?”

(Loosely based on Captain America: The Winter Soldier.)

One Show Only by KouriArashi

It’s hard to stay in the closet when the guy you had a one-night stand with two nights ago turns out to be your new partner … but Alec will be damned if he isn’t going to give it a try.

People say crazy things by @ohlafraise

“But what I don’t get is why Magnus cares so much about a random shadowhunter,” Jocelyn said.

Simon winced. “Oh, boy.”

Pick up lines by Gracefanfics

Admittly maybe using pick up lines in the middle of your brother’s rune party was a bad idea.

Or 
A short fic about Alec not having great timing in using pick up lines on Magnus.

Shooting Pool by @malec-is-pretty

Magnus and Alec go on their date and a simple game of pool gets them a little wound up.

Somewhere safe to finally break by onefootintheboilinghotlava

With the war finally over, Magnus had time to be alone and his mind decided to bring up all the things and people he had lost in the war at once. At his own loft, with his two beloved cats sleeping soundly, Magnus broke down……

Tampons and Concealer? By onefootintheboilinghotlava

So Izzy sent Alec to get tampons and concealer…Alec was standing in the drugstore, not even sure where to begin, when a handsome stranger offered to help.

That’s your cue by @theleftboobgrabber

“Keep your hands to yourself,” Alec tells Magnus apropos of nothing.

Magnus frowns. “I’m on the other side of the table!” he protests… not that he wasn’t thinking about some light groping per say, but they’re in public, Alec might not be into it and, while he’s good at concealing it, Magnus does have manners. Sometimes.

My take on Magnus and Alec’s date.

The Choices of the Chosen by KouriArashi

The day after his 21st birthday, Alec is sent to the demonic court as a gladiator, where he makes both friends and enemies … along with meeting Magnus Bane, who doesn’t seem to fit in either category.

The Only Magic I Believe In (Is The Magic I Receive From Loving You) by @delilahbelle

Or, four gifts Alec gives Magnus.

“No one’s ever done anything like that for me before.”

Alec’s face softens. “Well, I’m going to do it for as long as I’m alive. So get used to it.”

The Second Kiss by @simonseroticfriendfiction

“So here we are.” Magnus said, taking a step closer to Alec.

Alec gulped and took a deep breath in through his nose. “Yeah, here we are.” He squeezed his fingers nervously in his fists as he caught Magnus glancing towards his lips. “I-I suppose you want me to kiss you?” He stuttered, voice faltering.

This Christmas (You’re Someone Special) by vulturemonem 

Last Christmas, Magnus Bane had his heart broken.

Again, and again, and again.

And he didn’t think it would be mended anytime soon. He certainly didn’t think he’d be ready to let anybody in. Until a beautiful boy walks into his shop, and steals his breath with shy glances, kind words, and a fantastic coffee machine.

Maybe this Christmas will be better.

Or: In which Camille is awful, Ragnor and Raphael are an old married couple, and Magnus can’t help but be enamoured by Alec Lightwood.

This Night Is Not Forever by @isabellebiwoods

Alec Lightwood is a happily settled down man in a loving, caring relationship. But things weren’t always that way… and once upon a time, Alec used his Valentine’s Day to celebrate the spirit of the night as much as possible.

aka. world inverted legendary lothario alec lightwood

Too Much is Never Enough by Obsessivecompulsivereadr

They are on opposite edges of the same ideal. Alec so young, and Magnus so much older. Alec a blessed acolyte of the Angel, Raziel. Magnus the abandoned son of the Greater Demon, Asmodeus. Magnus with so much more unimportant and irrelevant experience, and Alec with none. They could not be more different if they tried, and yet, they are also the same. A matched set of uncertainty and inability to accept that someone might want them for exactly who they are.

Top Three by @nebulein

So.” Alec flops back onto the bed, sprawled in a lazy heap on his back, sated and boneless. Magnus is already lying on his belly, basking in the afterglow, and he surreptitiously steals closer, burrowing against Alec’s side. “Best sex of my life.”

Magnus hums, resting his head on his arms, revelling in the thrill those words send through him.

“Or, well,” Alec hazardously waves an arm around, “easily in the top three.”

Magnus giggles. He has no idea where that came from. It’s uncharacteristic for him. Magnus Bane, High Warlock of Brooklyn is usually much too dignified to giggle. But then Alec turns his head and grins at Magnus, lopsided and loopy but brilliant, oh so brilliant, warming Magnus from the inside out and maybe this is exactly the kind of situation which calls for a giggle, so Magnus will allow it. Just this once.

“How about you?”

Twenty-One-Year-Old Alec Lightwood by Obsessivecompulsivereadr

Alec tries not to want Magnus, but it goes about as well as all those other things Alec’s tried not to want throughout the years. Which is… badly

Warm In Your Light by @actuallyredorchid

It’s far too easy, letting himself be swept away.

(S02E07 missing scene)

We must choose to reach out and touch by Ambros

Magnus holds out his hand, a silver chain running around his middle finger and wrist, and Alec doesn’t have the time to process it – to think, doesn’t have the time to realise what’s going to happen because he has to take it and he does, electricity dancing through their fingers and down his back and he tries not to think about it, holds out his own hand for Jace and feels unbalanced; he knows Jace’s touch, remembers it from roughing each other up when they were kids even though he tried to forget it, to turn it into a ghost when he understood, but Magnus’ is new and smooth and unassuming and he feels uncomfortable, doesn’t know what to do with it.

Who Ya Gonna Call? By @menckenschrestomethy

“You have to—“

“Help you?” Magnus filled in dryly.

Or: The Six Times Magnus helped someone, and the one time they try to help him

Will you be my best friend? Will you be my last? by @lightwoodlesbians

or the 'you pretended to be my partner bc my ex wouldn’t stop talking to me’ au

You Are Certainly My Poison of Choice by iktwabrokenbone

So there he was. Midnight, at a party. Preparing himself to do something with a guy. To spend one night getting all of this- this unspeakable desire out of his system. He needed to forget it before he made a mistake and ruined his career, his chances of becoming Head of the New York Institute.
 

(Alec’s panic attacks were getting worse and worse and maybe if he spent one night with a guy he could get it out of his system, and he could forget being gay and loving Jace. But nothing went that smoothly, so of course Alec’s one night stand had to be Magnus Bane, and they had to keep bumping into each other. It wasn’t like Alec wanted to understand his emotions, anyway.)

For more Malec Fanfics

The Brown Bottle

Pairings: Alpha!Werewolf!Sam x Omega!Werewolf!Reader - A/B/O

Word Count: 3400+

Summary: Sam is rough around the edges, you do your best to avoid him until one night you discover he’s your true mate and instincts take over. This is really just a lot of smut and a little plot to ease things along. 

My twist on a/b/o dynamics.

Beta:  @just-another-busy-fangirl

Warnings: NSFW gif, knotting, mating, breeding, dominance, claiming, fingering, unprotected sex, biting, dirty talk, rough sex, some dom/sub overtones.

Your name: submit What is this?





You stop in your tracks, clutching an open hand over your abdomen.

“Shit,” you mumble under your breath as an afterthought. Shit doesn’t quite do this kind of pain justice. This cycle’s heat has brought what your mother, Millie (owner and proprietor of The Brown Bottle), refers to as The Real Motherfuckers. The kind of cramps that stop a woman unexpectedly while on her way to work well after sundown. The two generic suppressants you popped an hour earlier aren’t working as well as you hoped and you find yourself wishing you’d taken a third.

These are indeed The Real Motherfuckers.

Keep reading

The Kissing Booth

A SnowBaz fanfiction


Simon

Once a year, usually in the spring, Watford stages a carnival for the students.  It’s usually quite humble, mainly consisting of booths selling small magic trinkets, or snacks like cotton candy, sweets and other classic carnival fare.  There’s always the tiny petting zoo over near the Cloisters, and some years Watford even scrapes enough together to bring in a carousel.  Most of the booths are run by student volunteers, and though everything is by donation, all proceeds go to whichever charity the student body has voted on.

           I go every year, mostly for the caramel apples and sweet cider, but this is the first year I’ve been behind the scenes of the carnival and helped at a booth.

           In truth, I didn’t even sign up for it, but Agatha hadn’t had a break all day and needed some cotton candy of her own.

           I should have told her to find Penny, or Trixie or even Minty.  Anyone but me.

           It doesn’t take long for the word to spread that Simon Snow has taken over the Kissing Booth, and mortifyingly the line has doubled in length.  Mostly first or second-year girls, blushing and stammering or swaggering up to the counter with a pronounced sway in their step, with the odd boy interspersed through the line.

           It’s not the worst thing that’s ever happened to me – that honour goes to the time in second year that Baz stumbled upon a spell that made my clothes slowly dissipate, garment by garment, in the middle of the dining hall – and after the first two or three quick, cold kisses I start to calm down, but I’m counting the minutes until Agatha comes back.  How she endured hours of this, I cannot comprehend.  That’s just Agatha, I guess.

           A redhead drops her donation into the tin and her eyes flit around, meeting me for only a split second at a time, her cheeks aflame.  I try to look as non-threatening as I can and lean forward enough that she can close the rest of the space.  She darts in with a kiss that’s no more than a peck before running over to a giggling pair of who must be her friends, a triumphant grin on her face. She must have been dared.  Poor girl.  I hope I wasn’t her first.

           “Well, well, well.”

           My stomach lurches at the cold drawl I know only too well.

           “What are you doing here, Baz?” I say in as civilized a tone as I can manage.

           He stands there with his arms crossed over his chest, his mouth in a twist that’s a bit too amused to be a sneer.  “When I heard that the Chosen One had taken over the Snogging Booth, I simply had to see it for myself.”

           “Well, now you’ve seen it, so now you can go.”

           “Saving the World of Mages one kiss at a time,” Baz murmurs with a chuckle.  “Not exactly what I was envisioning.”

           “I’m only covering for Agatha,” I retort, “she’ll be back in five minutes if you’re wanting her services.”

           He scoffs.  “I’d rather not snog your girlfriend, thank you very much.”

           “She’s not my – forget it,” I shake my head.  I’ve told him at least a dozen times, but it never stops him.

           “She must have been really desperate for a break to put you in charge,” Baz drawls on, his voice smooth like honey but with too much of a bite to be sweet.  “You’d think she’d at least pick someone attractive for the Kissing Booth.”

           It stings, but I don’t flinch.  “What, someone like you?” I spit back too fast.

           His eyebrows shoot up in delighted surprise as I realize my mistake.  “You flatter me, Snow,” he purrs, and I feel my cheeks heat up, but I furrow my brow tighter and hope it passes for anger.

           “Is there a reason you’re still here?” I growl as the burning spreads from my cheeks to my ears.  

           “As a matter of fact, there is,” Baz says, and his gray eyes look cool enough to staunch the flames at the tips of my ears, but the more I glare into them the more the fire rages.  “I’m here to torment you.”

           “Great, well you’ve done that.”

           “I wanted to see what you’d do.”  He leans on the edge of the counter, bringing his face far too close to mine for comfort. “What would the Mage’s Heir do if his nemesis showed up at the Kissing Booth?”

           “You can torment me any time,” I shoot back, “you’re holding up the line.”

           “Oh, yes, well,” he feigns conern, “I wouldn’t want to keep anyone from their kiss.”

           “Then go away.”

           His eyes narrow and he pretends to think.  “Mmm, no.  I don’t think so.”

           “Baz, I’m warning you.”

           “Terrifying,” he drones, “but this is too much fun.  Besides,” his eyebrow flickers up, “don’t you owe me a kiss?”

           I flash him a smirk of my own.  “Aw, Baz. If you were so desperate for a kiss, you could’ve just asked.”

           Baz, to his credit, doesn’t bat an eye.  “You think of that comeback yourself?”

           “There’s a fee, you know,” I ignore him, barely having to raise my voice above a murmur for him to hear me, he’s so close.  “You haven’t paid the fee, so I don’t owe you anything.”

           He doesn’t drop his eyes from mine, and the cool gray takes on the spark of a challenge.  Out of my periphery I see him reach into his pocket, and there’s the clatter of coins dropping into the tin.

           I should punch him.

           I should spit in his face.

           I wanted to see what you’d do.

           I take him by the lapels and crush his mouth under mine.

           He makes a muffled sound of shock.  To be fair, so do I, but mine is more angry than it is surprised.  I kiss him hard and rough, and it’s a bit of a juxtaposition because his mouth is oddly soft.  A face like his, you’d expect his lips to be made of marble, cold and unmoving, but he’s the farthest thing from unmoving.  I can’t tell if he’s struggling or if he’s kissing me back but his lips are so, so soft and I want to bruise them, mark them, bite them…

           I only stop when a series of wolf whistles reminds me that there are at least ten people watching us.

           Trying to salvage the illusion of control, I break away harshly, still gripping him by his collar.  The cocky smirk has dropped from his smooth features and now his face mirrors mine, a matching scowl, like I’ve crossed a dangerous line.  I probably have.

           “Was that what you wanted?” I growl.

           He doesn’t answer, just holds my gaze another few seconds before pushing back from the table, his lapels slipping out of my hands, and stalking away.

*** 

I don’t see Baz at the carnival after that, and I stay as long as the booths are open, perusing the same counters and feigning interest even after having looked through their contents three times.  I keep Penny company where she mans the popcorn booth, drizzling caramel over every few cartons, and I even get bored enough to hang around Agatha back at the Kissing Booth for a little while, until one too many patrons have asked if I’m available for service.  When she and Penny are freed we pet the goats at the petting zoo, the ones that Ebb has graciously volunteered for the event, and take a few spins on the carousel.  Only once the light has begun to fade and the signs are being lowered from their booths do the three of us part ways.  Even then, I offer to help Ebb get her goats back safely.

           Basically, I’m doing anything I can to put off going back to the room, but eventually I can’t avoid it any longer.  I’ve wandered the grounds enough times that the sun has properly disappeared behind the distant hills and I can barely see the ground in front of me. Even then I’m tempted to consider crazy alternatives like spending the night at Ebb’s place, but I’m pretty sure that would be against school rules anyway, and besides, I’ll have to face Baz eventually.  There’s no undoing what’s happened.

           When I finally trudge back into the room, he’s staring out the window at the moat, presumably trying to intimidate the merwolves, but he turns at the sound of the door.  His expression, though I don’t see it for long before I look away, is hard to read. Wide eyes and a furrowed brow, like he’s still mad at me for my stunt earlier, but there’s a bit of a questioning edge there, too.  Almost a where were you edge.

           Normally I have to start any type of conversation, but tonight he wastes no time. “What the hell was that, Snow?”

           There’s no question as to what he’s referring, and I can’t help but get angry again.  “Me? You’re the one who had to start something!”

           “Well, you didn’t have to react so drastically,” he mutters, crossing his arms and leaning against the wall by the window, the moonlight casting its glow on his skin and making him even paler than usual, almost transparent.  I half expect fangs to slide out from his lips for no reason and complete the picture.

           His soft, soft lips.

           “You were egging me on,” I seethe, the memory igniting the rage that I’d felt in the fractured moment before kissing him, “it’s your fault anything happened.”

           “Proud little hero,” Baz says with the slightest smirk, “can’t back down from a challenge.”

           “You know I can’t, not in front of people.”

           “Wouldn’t want them to think the Heir is a coward.”

           I feel like a balloon in me is swelling and deflating at once.  “But that’s just it, Baz,” I insist, anger momentarily aside.  “If they think I’m afraid, what reason do they have to hope?”

           He doesn’t answer right away, and for a second I think maybe he understands. I want so badly for him to understand.

           “No reason,” Baz eventually says, turning to look out the window again, “not with someone like you as the Chosen One.”

           I want to groan, to kick something, to shake him by the shoulders and make him look me in the eye and for once not fight me.  Have we ever in our lives made eye contact without there being some challenge between us?

           “Why did you have to get in that line?” I shake my head.  “There are so many other ways of tormenting me, lower-stakes ways.”

           “To be fair, I’ve already exhausted most of those,” Baz murmurs with a little shrug of his shoulders.

           “When have you ever been fair?”

           “Touché.”

           I’m tired of standing here at the door, so I kick off my shoes and sit down on my bed, trying not to think about how much closer I am to him now, still at the window, looking as vampiric as ever.  His gray eyes are positively silver in the moonlight, and the black of his hair looks silkier than ever, as if it’s soaking the rays directly into him. He almost glows.  I have to laugh a little, because more than once Baz has mockingly compared me, with my bronze curls and sky-blue eyes, to the sun, but he himself wears a halo of night.  If I am the sun, then Baz is most certainly the moon.  Distant, cold, mysterious, almost too pristine to touch.

           His gaze returns to me suddenly.  He raises an eyebrow in a wordless inquiry, and I realize I’ve been staring.

           “What exactly was it you expected me to do?”

           “At what point, Snow?” he gives a humourless laugh.  “You had more than one opportunity to react.”

           “When you paid the fee.”

           His tiny smile disappears.  “It doesn’t matter.”

           “It does.”

           “Drop it, Snow,” he says, the hardness returning to his eyes, and I know I’ve cornered him.  Drop it is Baz’s way of betraying himself, of saying there’s something that he doesn’t want to tell.

           “Was I supposed to kiss you?” I ask.  For some reason I have to know.

           “No.”

           “Then what?”

           “I don’t know, Snow, punch me.  Push me. Beat me to the ground.  Something.”

           My brow furrows in confusion.  “Wait. You wanted me to hit you?”

           He shrugs, more with his head than his shoulder.  “One of us has to get hurt, right?”

           I rise to my feet, and I’m face-to-face with him again, only his eyes are different this time.  Whereas at the booth he had betrayed no hint of doubt at our closeness, now there’s a flicker of something in the silver, something that feels a lot like the way my heart is racing in my chest, and it dawns on me.  He was putting on a show at the carnival, acting like nothing I could do would get to him, just as I had been.

           If they think I’m afraid, what reason do they have to hope?

           One of us has to get hurt, right?

           And suddenly it makes sense.

           There’s only a few inches between us, so it feels almost natural when I lean in and press the gentlest of kisses to his lips.

           He doesn’t kiss me back this time, but he doesn’t move away either.  “What was that for?” he asks when I draw back a second later.

           “You act like we’re so different,” I say wonderingly, “but we’re the same.”

           “How?”

           “What do you think we’d be if we didn’t have to fight each other?”

           I don’t miss the split second of longing in his eyes.  “Keep dreaming, Snow.”

           “Because I bet it would involve a lot more of this.”  I bring a hand up to his neck, my fingers instantly lost in the wavy tips of his hair and it’s exactly as soft as it looks bathed in moonlight.

           Baz closes his eyes like he has to collect himself.  “You’re the hero.  I’m the villain.  What more do I have to say?”

           “Fuck that,” I chuckle, “we both know that’s not true.  You’re a boy, and I’m a boy.  That’s all.”

           “Tell that to the rest of the world.”

           “I don’t care about the rest of the world,” I shake my head adamantly, “I want to know what you think.”    

           “About what?”

           “If there was no act, no reputation, no role to play,” I murmur, “if we were just two boys, what would you do?”

           Baz returns my gaze a moment, searching my eyes.    

           Then his lashes close and he’s kissing me, and my eyes drift shut again like I’m sighing in relief.

           I let my fingers tangle higher up in his hair while my other hand grips the front of his shirt like earlier, only without the anger of the afternoon.  He angles his head further and guides the kiss deeper, his hands gently gripping my waist and pulling me closer.  I melt against him, my mouth moving with his, my head swimming with his citrusy scent, and I can’t hold back the moan that escapes my throat when he takes my bottom lip between his teeth in a gentle tug. Suddenly I’m floating, weightless, and Baz gives a muffled sound of surprise when I press back a little harder.

           When we finally break apart, both of us gasping and dizzy, I immediately want more, want to line his neck with my mouth, want to feel his breath hitch when I reach the base of his throat, want to hear my name in his sigh.  Would he sigh Snow or Simon?  I want to know.

           “Please,” I whisper, dotting a kiss to the corner of his mouth, “can’t we just be two boys?”

           When I meet his eyes, they’re full of more longing than ever.

           In response, he kisses a soft, slow triangle pattern on my cheek, and I recognize the pattern of the three moles by my eye, and I can’t help but smile.

“We can try.”

13.05 coda

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The sun sets early this time of year. The sky starts to change color as Dean pushes the Impala along towards Meadows’ house of horrors; the violent orange of the sunset gleams across the chrome lining the windshield and gilds everything over. Dean glances away from the road for a second when the glare hits him in the eye. Sam had his head turned towards the window, but he looks over when he feels Dean do so, too.

“So, uh,” he says, clearing his throat. “You ended up at the Clam Dive after all.”

Dean’s mouth quirks for a second, but it doesn’t last. “Mm.”

Sam taps his fingers against the door. “Worth the four and a half stars?”

Easing the Impala around a corner plunges the driver’s side into shadow. Dean ticks his head away from the light. “Don’t let the name fool you. That is one classy joint.”

Sam scoffs. “I’m sure.”

Dean doesn’t reply. The sun dips lower on the horizon.

“So, you’re. You’re working through it, then,” Sam says, unable to stay quiet. “Business as usual. It’s… working.”

Dean clenches his hands on the steering wheel and hopes that Sam doesn’t notice. The first stars of the night have started to come out, visible just beyond the stained-purple clouds.

“Yeah. See? Totally fine.”

He doesn’t tell Sam that most of the time he spent at the Clam Dive was at the bar. He doesn’t tell Sam that he only sat by the stage once he was drunk enough to start seeing double. He doesn’t tell Sam that he didn’t have any fun even though he tried all his old tricks and every cheesy line in the book and even pushed some of his boundaries a little farther than usual. He doesn’t tell Sam that he drove the Impala full-blown wasted and didn’t even care because why would it even matter if he ended up –

He doesn’t tell Sam about the death sentence he keeps in his duffle bag. He doesn’t tell Sam that he tried to crawl into bed once he got back to the motel but the thought of doing so made him so lonely that he’d actually rather sleep on the floor.

Point is: there’s a lot he doesn’t tell Sam.

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If MCR Songs Were People

This probably already exists but I spent two hours doing this instead of sleeping. Tell me which song you’re most like.

Welcome to the Black Parade: has a flair for the dramatic, doesn’t know how to do a smoky eye, was in the marching band in high school, daddy issues.

Sleep: has insomnia, PTSD, nightmares, is self deprecating, just wants to go the fuck to sleep

Destroya: probably gay, moans like a bitch during sex, pretty fucking hardcore, shit immune system though, lives for anarchy

House of Wolves:
will burn in hell (or believes they will), is a bad mother fucker, has a sister who should be scared, pyromaniac, “Catholic”

Vampire Money: all over the place, drinks a lot but parties like a beast, has a Bowie obsession, likes driving fast and loud music

Na Na Na: really artistic, pansexual, likes to scream lyrics, rebel at heart, probably still wears bandanas, sunglasses and boots all day every  day, fuck the government

Cancer: is dying, will die, all of your friends will die, actually doesn’t have any friends, really depressed, in pain, martyr

S.I.N.G: activist, owns jeggins, would join an underground gang if they had the balls, likes neon things for some unknown reason

Early Sunsets Over Monroeville: loves zombies, probably owns a Hawaiian   shirt, really quiet and doesn’t talk much, hangs out in shopping centres/malls but never buys anything

Demolition Lovers: is probably part of an underground gang, has to go away for “work” a lot, has a shotgun in the trunk of their car, teal,  unrequited love

Helena: recent death in the family, super fucking dramatic, lots of makeup, always wears black (maybe some red), nail polish is always chipped, imagines/fantasises things that will never happen all the time

Teenagers:
super punk, goes to concerts all the time, will break shit just for fun, has authority issues, probably friends with a lot of delinquents, is a delinquent, doesn’t read books, drinks a lot

Famous Last Words:
is constantly having an existential crisis, really   committed when it comes to relationships, cowboy boots, goes outside at midnight for no reason

I Don’t Love You: always heartbroken, never cuts hair, plays guitar,  goes on road trips when things get difficult, super emotional, cries a lot

I’m Not Okay:
is still in high school, I don’t care if they’re 39  they’re still in high school, hates high school, does stupid shit all  the time because fuck it, high school, is not okay, is friends with  weird people, high school

Mama: PTSD, self deprecating, mama’s boy/girl/person, has a sick sense of humour, laughs manically for no reason, cutthroat

You Know What They Do To Guys Like Us In Prison: probably gay, went to prison, had a fuck tonne of bitches (I’m kidding, they were actually the  bitch to a fuck tonne of other people), can’t adjust, has issues with  family

Headfirst for Halos: epic, is not okay, always trying to think  positively but is screaming inside, thinks about doing stupid shit all  the time (i.e. Putting a gun to their head)

Vampires Will Never Hurt You: screams a lot, has a vampire fettish, hates Twilight with a passion, has never gone outside, wouldn’t mind dying if I was a wooden stake to the heart, sucks dick

The Ghost of You:
fought in WWII, had a pretty girlfriend, wears round glasses with gold rims, is tall and lanky, has a brother, gets shot in  the chest, screams, dies

The Light Behind Your Eyes: is finding ways to deal with severe depression, cries a bit but quietly, reads a lot of books, all their friends are dead, trying to stay strong despite the fact they’re dying inside, sings like an angel

Give ‘em Hell Kid: lives life fast, probably has killed someone, wears red and like khaki green, shouts a lot, belongs in a 2005 MTV short, lives life on the edge, fatalistic

To The End: has read Dante’s Inferno, is a mafioso, fatalistic, has  probably organised the death of many people, likes to drink cyanide, sleeps a lot, owns diamond jewellery, likes cake

The Jetset Life is Gonna Kill You: has no faith in life, likes western movies, will yell at you, has  applied for a license to kill, likes to sleep with people (like nap I  mean)

Thank You For The Venom: likes snakes, has probably almost OD’d, hates  the doctors, is stubborn, death obsessed, has probably stabbed someone, wears striped long sleeve t-shirts, hates running, hopes to be shot one day

Hang 'Em High: is death obsessed, clinically insane, screams a lot,  always makes a lot of aesthetic statements about things with black and  white connotations, Catholic, fuck off

It’s Not a Fashion Statement It’s a Fucking Death Wish: swears in front  of their parents, wears their mum’s clothes, is obsessed with killing  enemies, is always predicting their death to be soon.

Cemetery Drive: all too real, has a girlfriend, likes to hang out in  cemeteries, girlfriend has issues and ended her life, now has issues  because of it, drinks a lot, really fucking depressed

I Never Told You What I Do For A Living: is 100% a serial killer, sociopath, also has OCD, scary as shit

The End: is dying, but isn’t too sad, wishes to attend their own funeral  as a ghost, has no self confidence, can’t be fucking bothered growing  up, doesn’t give a shit, is very chill, wears yellow accessories

Dead!: Is dead, is having a party about being dead, wondering if all the  assholes in their life are in hell, no one actually likes them, laughs  at inappropriate moments, is a great dancer

This Is How I Disappear: really fucking dramatic, will be upset and   disappear if you break up with them, dramatic, is a part time satanist, will make a voodoo doll of you if you fuck with them, candles

The Sharpest Lives: goes out late at night, never showers, drinks   heavily, would probably go cannibal if it was legal, always in pain,   lives life on the fucking edge, will burn large objects, has sinus   issues

Disenchanted: is constantly torn, never actually cries, writes books,  likes to take chances, likes birds, got in trouble with the police for  some stupid but really fun shit, friends need to get their shit together  and learn a lesson

Bulletproof Heart: Gravity doesn’t mean to much to them, has self  confidence but not enough to stop running away, runs away a lot, wears  really funky colourful clothing, is very kind but misunderstood

Planetary GO!: goes to a lot of cool night clubs, knows how to fucking  party, is still very punk on the inside, sweats a lot (bc they dance a  lot), jumps up and down for no fucking reason

The Only Hope For Me Is You: is obsessed with being remembered, only has  one friend, is kinda depressed and really needs someone to hold onto,  but is also really questioning life and society, wants to run away to a  more aesthetic place

Party Poison: speaks fluent Japanese (cough I mean Weeaboo), watches a  lot of anime, loves Kpop and Jpop fashion, will party but goes to the  weirdest parties, dyes their hair, fuck the bullshit meaning of life  they do what they want

Save Yourself I’ll Hold Them Back: is a badass, known for being a  badass, stole your mum’s car and took you on the best date ever, wears a  lot of leather, ready for a fight, probably gets into a lot of fights  anyway, probably once looked like Danny from Greece

SCARECROW: is probably on LSD, smokes a lot of weed, is really chill,  too fucking chill, wears psychedelic t-shirts, is actually a  philosophical genius, reads a lot of poetry

Summertime: they might go outside if it’s summer, listens to music with  headphones on full blast, goes on the train a lot, likes to walk around  listening to music and pretends they’re making the aesthetic parts of  the music video they’re listening to, soft kitty

The Kids From Yesterday: is constantly nostalgic, loves Star Wars and  Queen, always having flashbacks, wears yellow and read things, feels  misunderstood, trying to figure out the meaning of life

Honey, This Mirror Isn’t Big Enough For The Two Of Us: likes Fall Out  Boy when they had long song titles, has issues, a lot of issues, ugly  screams a lot, doesn’t care, wears dark denim jackets, hates this girl  who fucked their brother

Drowning Lessons: has a lot of anxiety, constantly worried, always  running away from problems and situations, can’t swim, always has  regrets, has pink things

Our Lady Of Sorrows: was in a gang once, loves to get into switchblade fights, is really scary and bloodthirsty, believes in pagan gods, but   will protect you, blood blood blood.

Skylines and Turnstiles: saw 9/11 happen, life was changed because of  it, decided that they wanted to be in a band, made a band with brother  and his fren, got some dreadlocked weed smoking fanboy to join, the  drummer is an asshole x3, breaks up after 12 years, deems it to be a  good idea, scared of butane

This Is The Best Day Ever: this is the worst day ever, has no rhythm, is  really confused with what is going in, went to hospital a lot and hated  it, screams a bit, is a bit scared of needles, studded belts, suck dick

Cubicles: will die alone (or at least they think), hates their job, the  only thing that entertains them at work is people gossiping at the water  cooler, is actually having a severe existential crisis

Boy Division: is friends with people who would have a fucking rocking  funeral, stalks school girls, looks dead but only dresses that way,  likes to sing about California, paranoid all the time

Tomorrow’s Money: fell in love with a vampire, slightly aggressive, can  surf, stopped screaming three years ago, wants to be a doctor, hates   people who are thought of as heroes, ruined converses

AMBULANCE: screams in an aesthetically pleasing way, thinks you know  nothing, super weird, goes out after dark, likes to drive big cars,  wouldn’t mind driving, is super reliable even when they let you down

Gun.: was probably conscripted into the military, actually hates   violence and guns, wants to stay at home all the time, likes to call the  shots, owns an old uniform that they’ll never throw out

The World Is Ugly: likes Blade Runner and fairy lights, thinks weird  people are very beautiful, insanely observant of other people’s  behaviours, wears knee high socks and converses, hates the world because  it’s terrible

Kiss The Ring: belongs in an alternate universe where it’s still the  medieval time but rock bands exist, is probably a contract killer, likes  to overthrow the king every five years, has really fucked up logic  about why it’s okay to kill a lot of people, cutthroat

Make Rooom!!!!: probably goes to discos, does not panic at them,  actually has some self confidence but always gets into stupid situations  and flails, wears the tightest pants in the world, wears earrings with  crosses on them

Surrender the Night: constantly lonely, likes to drive long distances to  think, lost a loved one, has cool patches on their jacket, has been to  hospital twice, likes to listen to you, always keeps secrets unless you  fuck with them

Burn Bright
: likes going to the city just to look at all the lights,   walks around and thinks that certain things would look nice on Tumblr,   unstable, can be aggressive, very in tune with their surroundings, kind of a Buddhist

Common People: your average person, always struggling financially, wears  a lot of blue, always falls in love with shallow rich girls for no  reason, really just wants to live however the fuck they want

Every Snowflake Is Different: loves children’s TV shows, goes to the  snow every year, loves winter and hot chocolate, will cry if you take  their toys away, will be a good parent, too busy having fun to give a  fuck

Desolation Row: got beat up at school, is now in a cutthroat gang, spits  a lot, wears a lot of eyeliner, likes Grease but is also super punk  rock, hates wearing underwear, likes to break shit all the time

Desert Song: is recovering from a drug addiction, is still in a really  dark place, trying to stay strong, is questioning the meaning of life,  probably had teal roots at some stage

Black Dragon Fighting Society: drinks juice when they’re killing because  it’s fucking delicious, really likes dragons, reads too much, hates  society, would run away but that would mean no books and no juice so no  fucking way, likes hot pink and black

Zero Percent: hates everyone, would kill everyone, really hates people,  does whatever the fuck they want, will kill everybody, will put zero   effort into school or work, does their own thing.

Mastas of Ravenkroft: worried about growing old, has no self confidence,  will only have sex if the lights are turned off, feels very old at a  very young age because of shitty bones, also has no fucking chill

F.T.W.W.W.:
fuck society, is super digital, but also really retro,   always tells people to kiss their ass, lives in a futuristic society,   likes robots, has a licking fettish, likes to destroy shit, will   probably spit randomly

We Don’t Need Another Song About California: Summertime’s long lost  twin, really doesn’t give a shit about California, but likes the sun,  probably lives in Florida, hates magazines, probably has a fake name,  thinks that nothing matters

All The Angels: is dying, has minutes left, girlfriend has issues   because she’s a little risky, everything has gone wrong, everyone is   upset, probably died three years ago, never went to heaven, likes pretty  flowers and dead things

Romance:
a complete and utter 1800s Romantic, has probably ready  Frankenstein, wants to go on epic journeys, never showers, likes spices,  old fashioned, would probably get into the steampunk fashion thing

Blood: is forever in the 1920s, was a war hero but hates themself,  laughs manically sometimes, has a thing for blood but hates vampires,  90% human wreckage, 23% awful fuck, 8% bad at math, 14% clueless

In Motion (M) | 01

Character / Genre / words: Jeon Jungkook x reader (with POV switches) | Smut, Mature scenes, Masturbation Club!au | 7,721 words

➼ Summary: The rule is simple - you can look but you can’t touch. You’ve been attending the event for a few times but it was only when a certain boy arrives at one occasion did you feel the fire of lust burning inside

➼ Warning: exhibitionism, public display of masturbations, graphic smut scenes, mutual masturbations, mentions/use of sex toys, language

➼ Warning 2.0: this is only the beginning

➼ a/n: This is a revamped/edited version. I have decided to not scrap the whole thing when there is no scenes or plots being changed in the process. Feel free to reread this chapter before the next chapter is out. More story fillers will be added in the upcoming chapters.

➼ Chapters: 01 | 02 | 03


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compliments - zach dempsey

word count: 1.245

warnings: none i think???? romance lmao

plot: you decide to brighten up zach’s day with a few compliments in his bag

a/n: i just wanted to write something quick and cute so here

part 2

The class emptied seconds after the dismissive bell rang. The previous silence that reigned over the halls was now shattered by hundreds of voices, hundreds of footsteps hitting the ground.

Usually, you’d be out of the classroom in the blink of an eye but for some reason, on this particular day, you took your sweet time placing your notebook and pens in their designated bag.

That slowness resulted in you seeing something unexpected.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Hi love! What would you say the top ten sterek fics you've ever read are?

This was REALLY HARD. Mainly bc it’s hard to choose only 10. Because I’m leaving off some great fics (which is why there are more than 10 on here :3)! And some I get mixed up bc I read them so long ago and near each other. (You can always browse my fave fic list here) But I’ve narrowed it to this list. These are the fics that really left impressions on me. They’re all amazing and deserve to be read and loved!!! So…have a TOP 27 FAVE STEREK FICS list :DDDD

1. Cry Havoc by ladyblahblah

In Beacon Hills, the two-year war that’s been raging between werewolves and hunters has begun spilling over onto the civilian population. Meanwhile, in Boston, when the tattoo on Stiles Stilinski’s back is damaged on a late-night hunt he begins to have dreams that lead him across the country, drawn by an inexplicable conviction that he’s needed there. When he discovers that Derek Hale began the war after his mate was killed, Stiles finds himself being offered a strange deal: figure out how to bring the alpha’s mate back, and peace talks can begin.

2. Where the Inevitable Isn’t by Survivah

Stiles has a magical thingamajig that’s supposed to get him out of danger. Trouble is, it took him really, really far out of danger. Like, to the point where he isn’t in the same universe anymore.

“A part of Stiles had been thinking that he’d come home, and just go, ‘hey, Derek, are we mates and you just haven’t said anything about it?’ and Derek would reply, ‘now you mention it, we are indeed! Now come to my bedchamber, where we will have super hot sex and then cuddle after!’”

3. Pack Up; Don’t Stray by the_deep_magic

AU – Werewolves are an enslaved underclass, collared and tagged by human masters. Detective Stilinski’s on duty the night they bring in an untagged stray.

4. Our Memories Are Numbered by rufflefeather

Stiles’ Jeep grinds to a halt, he sees someone running through the rain, he’s not expecting it to be Derek. He’s not expecting a Derek without any memories either, or an Alpha pack that’s coming for all of them. He probably should’ve, because lately nothing goes the way he expects.

5. Ad Astra Per Tentaculum by morganoconner

Space contains a multitude of different species, and Derek has seen and helped a lot of them in his time taking down branches of the slave-trade organization. But this is the first time he’s seen an Aloshrivnik. It’s not the tentacles that draw him in; it’s the goddamn eyes that stare at him without backing down.

“Stiles,” it says to him. “My name is Stiles.”

6. Part of My Melody by hayesgeneration

Derek is a professional classical musician who has found himself lost without a muse, without goal and without even a hint of spark. He’s almost settled nearly contently (if not slightly unwillingly) on having to live his life as a recluse, when his sister finally grows tired of his antics, giving him a Christmas ultimatum.

7. Littlest Alpha by triedunture

Derek and Stiles have taken out the Alpha Pack and pretty much saved the world. Okay, the town. Okay, their remaining friends. But the Alphas left something behind: a baby. And this baby is an Alpha too. Derek is determined to take care of the abandoned child, and Stiles is stuck going along for the ride.

But Stiles doesn’t expect the ride to include seeing another side of Derek, or to find another way to say “family.”

8. Holding Your Own Weight by zjofierose

Stiles Stilinski is the best trapeze artist west of the Mississippi, but that doesn’t do him much good without a catcher. Enter one quiet roughneck who calls himself Derek and knows maybe a little too much about circus arts for someone who was hired to schlep tents. But Derek has his secrets, and so does the new girl, Allison. Who’s being hunted and who’s being haunted, and will Stiles ever be able to convince Derek to help him fly again?

Keep reading

13 Reasons Why

Thoughts on 13 Reasons Why characters and a rating of how much I dislike them from 1 being “my baby!!!!” to 10 being “FUCK THEM THEY CAN ROT” 

Hannah Baker: Didn’t deserve everything she went through especially rape. She pushed some people away though and sometimes she was kind of idk how to word it but I didn’t like stuff about her at times. Either way she deserved so much better than what she got. Deserved to be happy with Clay. 2/10.

Clay Jensen: Will fight anyone for Hannah. He was so shy around her and didn’t know what to do whenever he was with her, he’s so precious. Sometimes there were some things he did that didn’t sit right with me but he definitely deserved a happy ending with Hannah Baker; they deserved to be happy and in love and ugh. Also… took like 4823707592 years to listen to the tapes? 2/10.

Tony Padilla: Gay POC which I love because we need more of them. I love him he was so patient with Clay and all he ever did was try and protect Hannah’s wishes. Glad he shared the tapes with Hannah’s parents because they deserved to know why she killed herself instead of being left in the dust wondering why. I was always so happy when he came on screen. CLAY LISTEN TO THE GODDAMN TAPES. 1/10.

Jeff Atkins: My pure cinnamon roll, didn’t deserve to die because of a stupid girl who couldn’t own up to her mistakes. I hate how nobody including his parents and except Clay never knew he wasn’t drunk that night he died. Just wanted Clay and Hannah together. Your fave is problematic: uses “unique” 7 times in an essay. -5435973495797/10. I love him forever, hes so great. Never did anything bad.

Justin Foley: Didn’t deserve the home life he had BUT i really hated him for what he did to Hannah and the fact that he’s a rape enabler and a rape apologist like he literally let his best friend rape his unconscious girlfriend, covered up for him, and lied to her about it and then when she found out, he STILL was justifying what he and Bryce did by telling her that he didn’t tell anyone because Bryce does all this shit for him. KNEW that whatever happened at that party was fucking Jessica up but didn’t come forward until the very end. Claims he cared for her but you don’t do that shit to someone you claim you care about. Fuck him for that. 8/10.

Jessica Davis: She was so cool and nice in the beginning but then I hated how she got mad at Hannah and slapped her for the list instead of Alex, like really??? You think she asked to be on that list?? PLEASE. But after all that, she was still nice towards her and was never ill-mannered when it came to Hannah. Also, can we talk about how she didn’t deserve to be raped??? Justin Foley DEFINITELY didn’t deserve her. YOU GO GIRL. TELL HIM YOU NEVER WANT TO SEE HIM AGAIN. 5/10.

Alex Standall: He made some poor decisions making that list for a stupid reason and then letting Hannah pay the price. I somewhat like him though. I think he was a redeemable character and had a conscience (although it was too late, rip Hannah Baker) and felt that he needed to own up to it and tell the truth, was ready for whatever penalty he was gonna get. Was the only one (for a while) who thought what the others were trying to do was stupid. He definitely deserved better too, he didn’t deserve to shoot himself (or in other theories, didn’t deserve to be shot by Tyler). Please be okay…please be alive, baby. 4/10. 

Courtney Crimsen: GIRL, BYE. I hate and will always hate her character so much. Her and Bryce should just rot. She was a rape apologist and only cared about herself. Like girl I get that coming out is hard, I haven’t even done it, but to fuck up Hannah’s life like that? Are you serious? Justified Bryce’s actions to hide her truth. And she fucked up Jessica’s life too, in my opinion. She tried so hard to convince herself (and others) that Hannah was lying, Bryce isn’t a rapist, and that Jessica was never raped just so she can stay in the fucking closet. Like there’s nothing wrong with being gay. And she has two gay dads for fucks sake. 10/10 would always hate her again. 

Zach Dempsey: I think he genuinely liked Hannah but after all the shit Hannah had been through and the fact that his friends were his friends, I definitely see Hannah’s side of why she shot him down. I think he, himself, was lonely too but in different way; just because someone’s popular doesn’t mean they’re not lonely. Didn’t get compliments so he stole Hanah’s when she needed it most (I hate how he did that ugh like WHY…did you really need it?). Redeemable character, though. Also…HE KEPT HANNAH’S NOTE IN HIS WALLET!!! 5/10.

Tyler Down: Fuck him. A fucking creep. Like, he stalked people and took pictures of them when they were unaware (especially Hannah) and when she confronted him, HE FUCKING SENT THE PICTURE TO EVERYONE. Claims he “loved” Hannah but really?? FUCK HIM. Why did he even have so much guns? I’m pretty sure he’s planning a school shooting…fucking psychopath…”I can take care of myself” BOY BYE. And if he did shoot Alex, FUCK HIM EVEN MORE. 9/10.

Ryan Shaver: Didn’t respect Hannah’s wishes. Only cared about himself and poetry. Didn’t even care that Hannah didn’t want her shit to get out. I only liked him whenever he said Bryce is a rapist and that Courtney should just shut the fuck up and stop justifying Bryce’s actions. 8/10.

Marcus Cole: He cared more about himself and his reputation more than anyone. Thought he was the shit. Sexually assaulted Hannah then called her easy for refusing. 9/10.

Sheri: I liked her and she was genuinely nice but she crashed the stop sign and left a drunken Hannah at the scene and fled. Caused Jeff to die and I hate her for it. Though she reported it because she knew it was the right thing to do, it was already waaay too late. 6/10 because of Jeff.

Bryce: Rapist. Douchebag. Scum of the earth. He didn’t even think what he did was wrong. He raped two fucking girls and didn’t even feel remorse. He just thought every girl wanted him and that was that. I hate him so much, he can die. 102804802020x100000/10.

Mr. Porter: Could have tried better to stop Hannah from killing herself. She was set on suicide until she had doubts and needed just one person to help her and the one person she came to didn’t care enough to chase after her when she left his room that day. Worst. Guidance Counselor. Ever. 8/10.