and i should make things while i feel like making things

feelbending  asked:

Thomas I hope you're okay with all the current drama, I personally believe that you did nothing wrong at all. You're always making sure you're inclusive and doing the right thing, sorry your fandom's exploded :(

Hey!! Yeah, I’m doing fine!! Please don’t worry, these sorts of things happen sometimes and it gets very hard to address and handle all at once! I have made mistakes though, so please don’t feel like you have to defend all that I do, that’s not your responsibility, and I’ve been doing what I can to make sure things were addressed!

There was a piece of art of myself that was posted a while back that I put under a Read More and tagged nsfw because it was, and it was revealed later, after the artists’ bio was updated, that they were not of appropriate age, and that was a complete mistake on my part to make sure! I’ve always made a point to clarify, if people asked me, that if they were to do any nsfw art of me and submit it, that they should be of appropriate age to be doing so. My tumblr started as a personal blog and I thought tagging things appropriately would be enough, but this occurrence absolutely made me rethink how my blog was laid out and how much more consideration I needed to be putting into my blog and who was viewing it, so I made a public apology for it yesterday (in the #TSask) and decided to restructure my blog in order to make sure this never happens again. Posts I deemed too questionable, I have removed and if they ever go up again, they would be going up on a sideblog of some kind. I absolutely appreciate those who brought this up to me. I should have been the one to catch it, and I need to be far more vigilant about what I post from here on out!

There was also the post I responded to about why I felt it right to include asexuals and aromantics of any combination in the community. I’ve been having many really awesome and respectful conversations with people on both sides of this argument and its been really good, for me and I think for a lot of them, to gain understanding on where we’re both coming from. I am so grateful to those who came to me and got to discuss with me incredibly important things to remember and respect: the early struggles of the trans and gay community, the Stonewall Riots, the travesties and systemic oppression that still happen around the world today that need to be fought. We also got to discuss issues like arranged marriages that affect people on all areas of the spectrum. We talked about different demographics of the community and where they would like to stand or not stand. And the importance of limited resources made available to people of the community were discussed with me as well. I’ve been so absolutely grateful to those of you who came to me and are still coming to me to talk through these things, because I don’t claim to know everything, and many of the discussions were ended wonderfully respectfully. In the end, obviously, I have no, or maybe just really little, say in what defines the community. In what I say, I am absolutely making no attempt to prioritize people over another, because there are some extreme things that need to be fought. I can only be in control of myself and who I deem to be valid and who I would like to offer my support. I truly am trying to put myself in everyone’s shoes and see where they’re coming from. And I am so grateful so many of you came to me so respectfully to talk! That’s amazing! That, I think, is the most optimal form of discussion for people on both sides. I don’t like seeing anyone on either side attacking each other, and it’s so devastating to see so much of it. 

I truly hope this helps bring clarity for those of you who were confused or looking for an update! The internet can be a confusing place and the truth can be mangled, but I am doing everything I can to make sure I amend for any bad decisions and hear you all out as best as I can. I’m only human, and I truly do care about you and where you’re all coming from, so I hope you can all bear with me! 

So I just did a post about how I manage my time and my daily schedule and such, and I felt like this part is really important and was getting lost in the minutiae of my day, so I made it a separate post. I was talking about various ways in which my life is not necessarily “normal”, like how I go to bed at 7:30, which people treat as one of my eccentricities, and rightly so. But while it is weird it speaks to the crux of my life philosophy, which I’ve spoken about before as regards dealing with anon hate:

My time and attention are finite resources and they have a value I can bestow where I wish. If something is not necessary to survive, does not solve a problem, or does not provide joy, I stop doing it.

I pay my bills and do my dishes and wash my clothes because you have to do those things. I engage in activism and try to stay current on the news because I believe I have a moral duty to contribute to society, and I run because it’s good for my heart and my body. I have friendships, engage in fandom, play the ukulele, write, go to concerts and movies and art galleries because it brings me joy to do so.

Going to bed early solves a problem for me: I wasn’t doing anything useful with that time anyway, I wasn’t enjoying myself or feeling happy. If I wasn’t getting any benefit from that time, how could I put it to better use? Sleeping is beneficial, so I tried that, and it worked; I get more sleep and I don’t miss anything I can’t catch up with. Work doesn’t make me especially happy or fulfill me in ways we could all wish, but that’s okay. Work is necessary to survive, so I do it. I don’t date much because I tried dating semi-recently and the promise of future joy did not outweigh the lack of joy that dating itself brought to my life; it was painful, ugly, and boring, and so I stopped doing it. 

The dating thing may change in the future, if eventually the promise of a relationship becomes more enticing, but it’s an example of how the pursuit of happiness is non-standard, and you are allowed to weigh the cost against the payoff based on your own personal feelings, not on society’s dictates. Because it turns out when you are doing what makes you happy, when you feel joy, you could give two shits about what everyone else thinks should make you happy. 

Sometimes, what brings me joy is sitting on the couch listening to a podcast I’ve already heard ten times and playing a stupid mindless flash game; I often catch myself thinking “I could be doing something more useful, something cooler, something more active” and remind myself “But this is making me happy, and it’s what I’m capable of doing right now.”

“Does this make me happy” or, if you’re struggling with happiness, “Does this calm and soothe me” is a great metric for what you should be doing in life when you are on your own time. It’s a good way to check in with yourself and lead yourself towards a more fulfilling life on your own terms. 

If you are out at a bar with friends, stop and ask, does this make me happy? Because there is no way in which asking that does not help. If being at a bar doesn’t make you happy and if it’s the only time you see your friends, maybe it’s time for a change; you are now free to pursue something that will make you happy. If being at a bar doesn’t make you happy but your friends do, and this is one way to bond with them of many, then it’s a cost with a later benefit, and you’ve now become conscious that while you aren’t happy right this minute, you are paying into future joy. And if you like being out at a bar with friends and are having a good time, then you’ve reaffirmed to yourself that you are happy and this is where you want to be. And affirming that you are feeling joy is a great thing to do. 

You don’t have to be happy all the time – but on your own time, when work and chores and the duties of the day are done, you should devote yourself to finding joy in whatever form that takes, be it a nap or a party or a date or your kids or, I don’t know, watching people make fake food on YouTube. 

Believing that your time and attention have value and should only be bestowed on the worthy means coming to believe that you have value, which is so hard to do that I’ll take any shortcut I can get. Devoting your time time and attention only to what is necessary or what is pleasurable means learning a great deal about what you value, and I truly believe leads you to a more fulfilled life.

So when people ask me about time management, I have real tips and tricks to offer – but I think the most important think I can offer is the suggestion that whatever time you have, you should believe it has value because it is yours, and you should direct it appropriately. 

An AU where Bitty didn’t go to Samwell and instead started working at a bakery in Providence. The bakery is around the same neighbourhood where Tater lives.

Tater starts frequenting the place and soon enough, you guessed it. Bitty and Tater become friends.

The best of friends. The ride or die friends. The I’d hide a body with you friend. But also the how many skittles can you fit in your mouth? Friend.

Tater starts a lot of his stories with ‘B and I…’ ‘Took B to’ 'B is’ etc and everybody starts assuming that B is Tater’s girlfriend, until he brings him for a game.

Everybody sort of goes 'oooooh’ and assumes this is Tater coming out and bringing his boyfriend to meet them. And if you think about it, it sort of explains Tater calling him B.

Then Tater comes super excited one day. 'B will move with me!’ And they all congratulate him and everything, thinking it’s so nice that Tater and Bitty’s relationship is going well, while actually Tater has been nagging Bitty to move in so he can have access to pie 24/7.

But also because Bitty is his best friend and since he bought his apartment he has been feeling a little lonely, this is the reason that does convince Bitty to move in because he has been feeling a little lonely too.

Fast forward a year, Jack graduates and joins the team. By this point Bitty is a regular at the games, he is a very in demand babysitter and makes a lot of food for the players.

Before he starts, Guy and Marty take the time to feel him out and explain that Tater has a boyfriend, and that they will have nothing but acceptance in their locker room.

They do this after asking Tater if it was ok to tell Jack about Bitty.

'No problem!’ Tater replies happily 'But B so good he need no introduction.’

Jack is pleased by this of course, and happy he is in a welcoming team.

Then Jack meets Bitty.

And to make it better, let’s say he meets him when he is carrying a bunch of stuff for the nook.

'You should eat more protein,’ Jack jokes after seeing all the pies, and offers a hand to carry things.

Bitty jokes/flirts back. They are having a moment, Jack feels butterflies in his stomach and well, if the team is ok with Tater, surely they’d be ok with him…

'B! You made it!’ Tater bellows from down the hallways and rushes over, picking Bitty and putting him in a bear hug. 'I miss you.’

'Tater!’ Bitty yells laughing, and kisses his cheek playfully, 'you saw me this morning.’

'Yeah but you sleepy, you grumpy when sleepy. Like tiny bear.’

And then Bitty and Tater start to bicker like an old married couple. This whole time Tater is holding Bitty up.

Jack stomach drops to his feet, because of course Bitty is taken. By his teammate.

Jack develops a crush, a massive problematic crush because holy fuck Tater is the nicest person ever, and he would never want to get in between him and his boyfriend, but also he is terrified of Tater finding out because he once took two defence man by himself and won.

Meanwhile, at Bitty and Tater’s home, Bitty flings himself dramatically over the counter.

'Tater! I’m in love. Jack is so cute and nice, I like him so much.’

'Jack nice guy, he good guy for you. I approve,’ Tater says solemnly with a mouth full of pie.

'Say it don’t spray it,’ Bitty asks for the millionth time. 'Do you know if he likes guys?’

And then Tater being the good friend he is, tries to feel Jack out and play matchmaker, while an increasingly alarmed Jack thinks Tater is warning him off about crushing on Bitty.

Which isn’t helped by the fact Bitty keeps popping up to chirp him, which kind of feels like flirting but surely not…

Things get clarified and everything, Jack and Bitty start dating, and Tater has to explain 8 times to everybody that no, he never dated Bitty.

'We kissed once. We agree weird. We best as best friends,’ Tater says once again.

'Yeah but if he was going to date somebody other than you why couldn’t it be me?’ Poots complains loudly.

'You no good enough for B,’ Tater chirps back. 'I only let B date good teammate who didn’t eat my pie.’

'Will you let that go man!? I didn’t know it was yours.’

'It had sticky paper with Tater on it! You don’t fool me Poot, you food thief!’

so i just wanted to make a post with all of my favorite Bakugou moments

(this was gonna be a post about bakugou-isms. like. moments where bakugou has said/done something inspiring or wise. but. ended up getting carried away jkl;agha)

anyway i apologize because. this is gonna be long

1. Bakugou declaring that he refuses to lose to anyone again, recognizing that there are other people who are stronger than him that he needs to surpass.

i just really enjoy this moment, because it was a big wake-up call for his character to realize that he isn’t the best, there are people in the world who can surpass him, and that he needs to work harder to reach his goals. the world isn’t as black and white as he thought, and it’s his first step to his major development later on.

2. Bakugou calmly analyzing the situation at USJ 

i really like this moment b/c it’s s fascinating to watch Bakugou explain that none of their classmates are in danger, and that they should instead go and capture Black Mist, because he’s how the Villains got in in the first place. 

it shows that he’s far more than just a violent, angry, rage machine. underneath it all, he’s actually far more intelligent than he seems, and this scene is one of the first that really showcases that

(this is also the moment where Kirishima finally begins to trust him; before this, he was really wary of Bakugou because of how violently he went after Izuku during the Heroes vs. Villains exams (he was seriously worried that Bakugou would kill Izuku). it’s only after this moment where Kirishima changes his initial opinion of Bakugou and begins to trust him)

3. Bakugou explaining that a quirk is nothing more than an extension of a person’s body

i just really love that, of all the characters to do this, it’s Bakugou that explains that even quirks have their limits. it’s a very introspective moment that reminds the audience that these amazing powers aren’t limitless, and that even Bakugou, despite his pride and stubbornness, knows he has limits to what he can do

4. Bakugou’s SHEER GODDAMN TENACITY DURING THE CAVALRY BATTLE 

KID JUST REFUSES TO GO DOWN AND BY DOING SO, HE INSPIRES HIS TEAMMATES WITH HIS DETERMINATION AND DESIRE TO WIN AND THEY IN TERN BECOME DETERMINED TO WIN AND NOTHING IS GONNA STOP HIM FROM BECOMING NUMBER ONE AND IT’S JUST SO AWESOME AND ENERGETIC AND  I LOVE IT

5. Bakugou acknowledging Uraraka’s strength 

PRETTY SELF EXPLANATORY, TBH. i love how he refuses to cal her weak in any capacity, defending her against Kaminari’s words. he fought her. he knows better than anyone here that she is anything but weak. and this is the first moment where he’s vocally defending another person, which i love b/c it’s another step in his character development

6. Bakugou telling off Todoroki for standing before him without the intent to win

this scene really shows a lot of what motivates Bakugou’s character. He wants to win against Todoroki–who’s one of the strongest in the class–and prove himself as the best. But Todoroki isn’t really fighting back, because he’s going through personal issues, which is understandable and under no fault of his own.

tbh, i think it’s an interesting point to think about, because everyone at the Sports Festival is here to win. they’re all trying their best–Bakugou, Izuku, Uraraka (who Bakugou even alludes to in his rant above), Momo, etc. and it is kind of insulting to fight someone who isn’t even really trying to fight back against you in a tournament where that’s the entire purpose of it all. 

that’s why Bakugou fought so hard against all of his opponents, because they all got to this level. he’s showing them respect by not going easy on them. and Bakugou finds it extremely insulting that Todoroki isn’t. i just find it a fascinating aspect to his character. it’s kind of an off-shoot of a ‘warrior’s code’ sort of thing

7. Bakugou refusing to accept his win at the Sports Festival 

again, i think it shows an interesting aspect of his character, because he feels like this win wasn’t deserved, because Todoroki didn’t give it his all. it’s a hollow win, and Bakugou knows it, and he refuses to accept it. 

8. the strength of Bakugou’s ideal of what a hero should be and his SHEER GODDAMN TENACITY DURING THE END OF TERM EXAM

I just love that his ideal of what a hero should be is based on All Might, the ultimate hero, who NEVER loses. this his why he became a hero in the first place, this is what motivates him in everything he does. to Bakugou, real heroes never lose, so he absolutely has to win. always.

and i love how he just refuses to give up–maybe it’s not always the greatest thing (pushing himself too far and all) but i find that really admirable too. no matter what, he just refuses to give up, and i love that (even if it isn’t exactly the best thing sometimes). he’s gonna do everything in his power to win, because that’s what heroes do, and nothing short of being knocked unconscious is gonna stop him.

9. Bakugou absolutely fucking REFUSING to join the Villain Alliance, practically BLOWING SHIGARAKI’S FACE UP WHILE DOING SO, because no matter what they say, he’s going to be a HERO, and goddammit. 

he was inspired by All Might, that’s the person who motivated him to become a hero in the first place, that’s the person who he’s admired since he was a child, and the person he wants to become like. and nothing in this world is going to change that.

10. Bakugou refusing to lie, even when he’s been kidnapped and surrounded by villains. 

i just find it fascinating that this is one of his personal morals, and that he (like All Might) doesn’t lie. he may be in denial more often than not, but he never lies. 

11. Aizawa defending Bakugou against the reporters

i just love how Aizawa understands Bakugou, how he realizes that Bakugou is no way in danger of becoming a villain. how Bakugou’s motivations come from an different place entirely. how it all comes from his ideal of strength, and of what a hero should be. i just really love that. 

12. Bakugou thanking All Might for saving him.

this is the third time All Might saved Bakugou. the first time, in chapter one, Bakugou was in complete denial. he didn’t need saving. he didn’t need anyone. how dare anyone think he needed rescuing?

the second time, at the Villain’s Alliance base, he was, again, in denial. he didn’t need All Might to come save him; even if he was happy and relieved that All Might was there, he wasn’t gonna admit to it. no way. absolutely not.

the third time… All Might saved him (and everyone at Kamino) by fighting against AFO. by refusing to go down. by using the last of his strength to defeat AFO, revealing his secret to the world, giving up OFA, and retiring for good. 

Bakugou feels guilty for this. he feels like the cause of All Might’s retirement. for getting kidnapped in the first place. for not being strong enough to save himself. so this time, he’s without denial or bluster. instead, he quietly thanks All Might for saving him, because he knows what All Might gave up to do it.

it’s a big moment of character growth for him. prior to all of that, Bakugou never would’ve done that. but the weight of All Might’s sacrifice was just too much, it humbled him. he couldn’t deny it anymore. so he sincerely thanked All Might for saving him, for the first time, quietly admitting to his weakness.

13. Bakugou giving Kirishima back the money he used to buy the night vision goggles for the rescue mission (learning about it from Kaminari), while also cheering the class up after Aizawa scolded them, by making Kaminari fry his brain and making them all laugh. 

just… what a fantastic moment of character growth from Bakugou. he felt guilty for Kirishima using his money to buy those goggles (which ended up getting destroyed during the mission), and he feels bad for being the reason why class getting reprimanded in the first place. so he fixes both situations as best he can, while still being his gruff, grumpy self. 

he gives back the money, and cheers the class up at the same time. and Aizawa totally catches onto it, too. “A farce like this has it’s place once in a while, I suppose.” it just shows that Bakguou actually does care about his class, Kirishima in particular. 

it shows that he cares his friends and his class, and i love that

14. Kaminari talking about Bakugou during the Provisional License Exam 

Kaminari mentions how the insulting words Seiji is throwing at them stings, and Sejii assumes Kaminari is talking about himself. he isn’t. Kaminari corrects him while throwing one of Bakugou’s grenades, which gives a visual cue of who he’s talking about. Bakugou.

Bakugou got angry at Seiji’s words. he charged in recklessly because he couldn’t stand the insults to UA anymore. he got upset at hearing the people he cares about be insulted. and then Kaminari goes on to say/think about how Bakugou wasn’t using the full force of his attacks. 

he was purposefully using lower-powered blasts in order to keep Kirishima and Kaminari safe. he purposefully put himself at a disadvantage just so he wouldn’t accidentally hurt them with the force of his attacks. 

Kaminari realizes this and praises Bakugou, defends him against Seiji’s words. he may not have the kindest or sweetest personality, but he’s serious about being a hero. he’s serious about keeping them safe. he’s serious about everything, and he can’t stand hearing Seiji insult him, the people he cares about, or UA.

15. Bakugou’s guilt at causing All Might’s retirement.

oh my god, save this child. save him. he completely, totally blames himself for causing the person he admires the most, the person who inspired him to become a hero, the man who’s motivated him since he was a child, to fall.

he’s just 15. he’s just a child. and he feels guilty for this, he’s feeling the full weight of it on his shoulders, breaking down from it all, and he doesn’t know how to handle it. he’s scared. he’s terrified. he feels horrible. the number 1 hero in the world was forced to retire and it’s all his fault

he’s been blaming himself for this for weeks. he’s just a child. he isn’t responsible for any of it, but he feels like he is. if only he were stronger, if only he got away on his own power, if only he did this or that, maybe All Might would still be a hero. if only he wasn’t so weak.

i love this moment, as painful as it is, because it shows just how human Bakugou is. it shows that he really is just a child dealing with horrible guilt, among other emotional issues (feeling like Izuku was looking down at him for all these years, being terrified that Izuku could one day surpass him, realizing that All Might acknowledged Izuku over him, having a superiority and inferiority complex that just exploded, feeling desperate for an answer over what he should do, and who was right in how they admired All Might (Bakugou for how he always wins, Izuku for how he always saves people with a smile, etc)).

in the end, he’s still just a child. a child dealing with so much more than he ever let on until this fight, where it all exploded out of him, because he just didn’t know how to handle them. he couldn’t bottle it up anymore. 

(i will never, ever excuse or justify any of the horrible things Bakugou did in the past. what he did was inexcusable. but god.. he’s still just a child.)

i love this moment because he’s so scared, terrified, upset, confused, desperate and just so damn human in this moment, and i love it. he’s not just an angry kid. he’s not just a violent, rage machine. there are so many emotions that drive him and i love it so much.

16. Bakugou supporting Izuku after their fight

i just…. really love this. Bakugou has had so many issues with Izuku in the past, many of them stemming from misunderstandings. as mentioned above, he thought Izuku was looking down on him. he was terrified of Izuku’s growth, feared that one day he could actually surpass him one day. but now they’ve talked. now they understand each other better. now Izuku has the support of All Might… and he can’t be losing. 

(and again, none of those reasons justify what Bakugou did to Izuku for those ten years. but they explain why he did it in the first place. i just want to emphasize that) 

to Bakugou, real heroes never lose. Bakugou is applying that to Izuku, now. he’s got the greatest hero in the world helping him, and he can’t be losing. Bakugou, in his own way, is supporting Izuku. it’s one of the biggest moments of character growth for him. for the longest time, he was terrified of Izuku. scared he’d be left behind while Izuku grew stronger. but now he’s putting that aside. 

Izuku has All Might’s power. he has All Might’s support. they both admired him… and now Izuku is being supported by him. so now Bakugou will, too.

Izuku has the greatest hero in the world looking after him. he can’t be losing now. not anymore.

17. Bakugou encouraging Kirishima

i just…. look at how far Bakugou has come. he went from being terrified of others being better than him–of not being as great as he grew up believing–and now he’s supporting Izuku (the person who scared and frustrated him the most), and now he’s actively giving encouragement and helping his friend. 

hell. Bakugou has friends now. he didn’t have any at the beginning of the series; he was to full of pride to see anything but  himself. but now he does, and he’s giving them encouragement. giving Kirishima encouragement. and he’s doing so by drawing from the Kamino incident, the very incident that gave him so much guilt and confusion and pain. the incident that probably gave him nightmares for who knows how long. 

he’s bringing up that incident to comfort and support and encourage his friend. he’s talking about how there are different kinds of strength out there–that just refusing to go down is it’s own strength. this from the kid who’s entire philosophy on heroism is to never lose. 

he’s not scared of being surpassed. he’s got friends now. he’s helping and supporting them in his own way. he’s not afraid to think of the very incident that caused him so much pain; he’s healing from it, slowly. he’s learned from it. he’s slowly accepting that it wasn’t his fault. he’s admitting that there are other kinds of strength out there, besides just winning. it’s about refusing to go down (like All Might did at Kamino). 

this is one of my favorite moments, even tho it’s so short, because it’s a culmination of Bakugou’s character development so far in the story. it’s a small moment, but it wouldn’t mean anything without the hundred or so chapters proceeding it, showing all of Bakugou’s complexities, and all of his personal issues, motivations, emotional struggles, etc. 

this moment is great because it shows just how far Bakugou has come since chapter one. he’s almost a completely different character than who he was, where he began. and that’s why i love it so much

long story short Bakugou is an incredibly complex kid and i love him a lot

related meta:

[you can find more Bakugou meta here]

A while ago I realized, you can, and should, do things to make yourself happy. There are no guarantees; there are many, many things that you simply cannot control. But it is your responsibility to put in effort. So, I tried. I began to wear nice and elegant outfits to rather dull places, like school or on a walk around the neighborhood, to make it feel like I was doing something nice and elegant. I would take photos of the most boring objects and places, using lighting and angles to manipulate them into something as beautiful as I envisioned in my head. I looked in the mirror, and instead of picking at the flaws that screamed at me, I would search for the things that made me happy about who I was. It was occasionally like searching for a four leaf clover, but working for it was what helped. No, it didn’t always work. Yet the fact that I was trying made me feel as if when I was angry, or sad, or overwhelmed, it was okay because I knew I was capable of happiness, and I was working to be happy. You cannot go through life saying your situation is void of silver linings, not if you refuse to look for them.
—  maybe i’ll write a book with this in it someday, CI carolineingle
SKAM S04E09 Clip 5 - Maghrib

SANA: Please accept my fast, even though I’ve behaved badly. Please watch over Eva and Vilde and Noora, Chris. Please watch over Isak and Even and Elias and Yousef.

[VILDE: Hi, are you ready to meet up?

EVA: Sana! Chris and I will pick you up with the van in 20 minutes.

SANA: Ok cool

SANA: I regret cancelling the date with Yousef

NOORA: YEEES! Call him! Go!

EVA: Do it girl!! Life is NOW!!

SANA: According to Islam, life is after death. Which is one of the reasons why I should stay away from him

CHRIS: According to me, the abdomen is dead after death. Which is one of the reasons why you should meet him!!

VILDE: Yousef! Yousef! Yousef!

SANA: Hahaha I get why mom is worried that I don’t have any Muslim friends

NOORA: Hello! OK!! I can argue from an Islamic perspective

SANA: Now I’m intrigued

NOORA: Ok, doesn’t Islam believe in destiny?

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Hot Off The Press

Another AU where Jacky-Boy is a hockey player and Bitty has a job that involves hockey bc that’s my aesthetic. Anyway, I really know nothing about how the world of sports journalism works so there is probably some inaccuracies in here, but it’s an AU so who cares. Artistic license and all that. Very slightly NSFW (i just wanted to get all the warnings out there). 

***

“Are you into men?”

Jack has been asked this question before, but in such a subtle way (and typically involving Parson) that it’s easy to avoid. No reporter has ever straight out asked him. Besides, he’s not gay. He’s bisexual. So when Jack usually tells them, “No.” it’s not a lie. However, this time it feels different. Maybe it wasn’t just this particular time, but all the times added onto each other that’s finally causing him to really think about what hole he’s digging himself into.

The blunt question has him feeling panicky and the other presser notice his reaction too. Jack can’t say no, because that’s not true. He is into men. Jack’s panic quickly shifts, and now he just feels like shoving the microphones away and storming out, because this is hockey goddammit. Not E! news.

“Excuse me?” Jack clears his throat, trying to buy himself some time to think of a properly crafted response. Over the years, he’s developed a talent for that.

But everything is on overdrive and he feels his breath start to quicken again–

“Are you into men?” Another reporter asks, and it takes Jack a moment to realize that the reporter isn’t asking him. He’s asking the man who popped the question in the first place.

 All attention, including Jack’s, turns to the small blonde that got lost in the bundle of people. He holds up his mic towards the reporter who popped the question in the first place. 

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transcript of the speech i gave at Vassar’s black baccalaureate service

Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, honored guests, and the Vassar class of 2017.
Just saying that aloud made me feel old. Class of 2017? Most of y'all were born after dark-skinned Aunt Viv left the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. That’s wild.

I want to first thank you for allowing me to be a part of such a special moment in your lives. I am honored, privileged, and a bit in disbelief that you asked me of all people to give this address. I try not to have feelings, and I’m going to do my best not to cry today, but no promises.

I’m here to stand in the gap between you and your parents and guardians and any other elders in your lives that you stopped listening to because you thought they were wack and out of touch. I remember being in your shoes not TOO long ago, and it is my fervent prayer that something that I say here today will help you avoid some of the mess I went through.
To be honest I’m a little nervous, but I figured there was no way could this be worse than when Betsy DeVos went down to Bethune-Cookman, so let’s get started.

As you transition to life after Vassar the changes will be both inevitable and swift, so I’d like to begin by giving you some well-intentioned advice and warning you about the continued process of becoming an adult.

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Eric Richard Bittle is Jewish

Tw: mentions of antisemitism

Ok, hear me out. I know there is a lot of evidence pointing to Bitty being a good Southern Christian Gay and like, that is completely plausible and if that’s your jam, great! But because I love projecting and rubbing my Jew-y hands on everything, here is a theory about Bitty being an extremely assimilatory southern Jew who only really gets in touch with his culture and Jewish identity once he gets to college in the North East.

So I did some research and while “phelps” (Bitty’s maternal family name) isn’t the dead ringer that “Birkholtz” or “Zimmermann” is, it still has a history of being a Jewish surname in the Anglo-Saxon region. So to me, Bitty is Jewish on his mom’s side, but his paternal family is very southern Christian and so, really that’s what he grew up with, because being Jewish in the south? Well… that’s a whole thing.

My mom grew up in Atlanta Georgia, and in her high school, she was the only Jewish person by a long shot. My grandfather taught at Emory and so they didn’t belong to a temple, and went to Hillel sometimes during the bug holidays, but for he most part she wasn’t involved in religious affairs because it wasn’t “normal”.

I think something along the same lines happened to Bitty. His Moomah always made Jewish food for their family, but only made Southern food for company. At Chanukah, they would put up a Christmas tree, but put a Jewish star as an ornament and call it a “Chanukah bush.”

Bitty had a friend in second grade named Timmy who came over for a play date one day, only to never come back because his mom saw their mezuzah on the front door and forbid them from hanging out again. “Timmy doesn’t need to be influenced by that kind”

After that, well, Bitty stops asking his mama to make kasha varnishkas for his lunch (someone once told him it looked like he was eating pasta with dirt in it) and he stops going to temple on rosh hashana, and he starts calling his Christmas tree a Christmas tree. When someone tells him he “doesn’t look Jewish” he knows it’s a compliment.

The Monday at school after the Closet Incident, there’s a swastika keyed into his locker.

Because it’s one thing being the gay kid in a small town, it’s a whole other thing to be gay AND Jewish. It’s like he’s had two strikes against him since he was born.

When he moves to Madison he begs his mom not to put up a mezuzah. He can’t understand why she starts crying, but she doesn’t put it up. It’s a fresh start.

The rest of middle school and high school, Bitty secularizes.

When one of his teammates in his coed team tells him he’s acting “like a Jew” when he asks her for money for the team shirts, Bitty bites his tongue so hard he draws blood.

When all the kids in his tenth grade English class throw pennies at Mr. Bloom during his lecture on Eli Wiesel, Bitty stays after and helps pick them up.

Fast forward to freshman year at Samwell, and Bitty is hanging around the haus just before Rosh Hashana.

Holster is talking to Ransom and Jack about putting something together for dinner, maybe picking up some matzo ball soup mix and some ruggies from a deli near by.

Bitty, who shuddered at the though of soup coming out of a box blurted out without thinking “you know, I could whip up some of my grandmas matzo ball soup? And maybe some kugel?”

All three of the other boys look at him with wide eyes.

“I didn’t know you were Jewish Bittle,” Jack quirked a brow in intrigue.

“Well,” Bitty said, face heating up, “I- I’m not JEWISH Jewish. My mom is Jewish. My Moomah is Jewish, but ME? I don’t know.”

Everyone else seemed perplexed by this statement, but Holster’s eyes lowered a bit.

Bitty took that to mean ‘I hate you why would you say that you should just leave’ and promptly scrambled out the door, a whirlwind of “sorry got to go’s”

Later that week, someone knocked on Bitty’s dorm door, and that someone was Adam Jacob Birkholtz, certified Nice Jewish Boy and hulking mass.

“Uh, can we talk?” Holster asked a bit sheepishly.

Bitty agreed and lead them into his room.

Holster sat on his tiny bed and asked, “what did you mean before? When you said your mom and grandma are Jewish but not you?” It was tentative, but Bitty could tell the question wasn’t an accusation.

“Well I mean, I don’t really celebrate anything anymore. For all intents and purposes my house was a secular house all throughout middle school and high school.”

“But bitty,” holster sighed, “just because your half Jewish doesn’t mean you can’t be Jewish. And even if you aren’t practicing that doesn’t mean you can’t be Jewish either. I had a friend in high school that was half Jewish and people at temple would make him feel unwelcome. You don’t have to worry about that here.”

“Oh um, thanks? But it’s not that. Look, I know I’m Jewish. People have been making that clear to me for my whole life.”

“What do you mean?” Holster asked.

Bitty then began to regale all of the things he’s experienced. All of the prejudice, the slurs, the pennies, the swastikas. All of the pain that came with being the Jew in the south.

Holster listened, “Bits, that’s really rough dude. And like, I get it, some things are too painful. But it’s not like that at Samwell. Sure there are assholes everywhere, and it’s not like there’s never any antisemitism but, if you haven’t noticed based on the hockey team already, you aren’t alone here! There’s a whole Jewish community that’s got your back.

"Listen, why don’t you come to Hillel with me for Rosh Hashana, we can make your Moomas soup together! And maybe even Jack will help and not complain. Just, I don’t want you to have to feel like that about yourself.”

Bitty begins to decline the invitation but then something stops him. He remembers being a little kid, dipping apple slices in honey and chasing his mama around the house with sticky fingers.

“Alright I’ll go.”

And he does.
And he loves it.

He starts going to Hillel with Holster after that, and sometimes Jack tags along, sometimes so does Shitty. And in his Sophomore year, Nursey comes along with, and then his junior year comes Tango.

He makes matzo ball soup by the barrel, and re-learns the prayers for the Shabbat candles.

But it’s in his freshman year that he goes home for Winter break and pulls out the old Star of David ornament and puts it on the tree.

He asks his mom if he could help light the Chanukah candles and she looks shocked at first, but then she smiles and says “of course sweetheart.”

Later he hands her a present. It’s a long and thin box wrapped in silver paper with a little blue bow on top.

She takes it from his hand carefully, like its a shard of glass or something.

She opens it and It’s a silver mezuzah cover.

It’s a fresh start.

A rare snake-related post by me-

I have had Vision, a dwarf BCI and my youngest snake, for roughly 9 months now. He will be a year old in July, so by snake standards he is still very much a baby. In the past 9 months, he’s gone from, for lack of better words, a bitey defensive asshole to a relatively passive and trusting creature who simply has Rules ™ on how, where, and when he can be touched. I used the same method to produce these results as I do with all of my reptiles, including my young snake of a notoriously aggressive and defensive species (Amazon Tree Boas) and have frequently been asked how I manage to get these animals that instinctively bite first and ask questions never to allow handling and pictures without drawing blood.

On my dog blog I’ve mentioned the concept of body autonomy a few times in relation to training dogs, and how it crosses over into husbandry in other species. In these posts I’ve detailed how I tame the larger birds at my job, how I teach my snakes not to bite me when I take them out, how I can successfully convince a thrashing dog to accept grooming without a fuss, how I teach cats to not turn into screaming demons for nail trims, and more. I also cover this in many of my dog training lectures at work as my students teach their dogs to allow grooming, nail trims, and medically related handling to prevent injuries and incidents when interacting with these animals. All of this relates back to body autonomy, and how we as humans have consistently ignored other species’ instinctive need to be autonomous.

I am no master animal trainer and do not play one on TV. I train pet dogs and service dogs and have begun to venture into competition, at one point I specialized in rehabbing aggressive and reactive dogs. I have trained various common pet animals in occasionally unconventional ways to do things that make life easier for the both of us, but I don’t claim to be anything special, because what I’m doing is not all that special. It is, however, uncommon for people to make these considerations with their pets and then they call in someone like me to fix a problem that didn’t need to start in the first place.

An example being: frequently on this website and others, the solution for convincing a biting snake not to bite you is to hold it still until it stops biting you. The snake will learn that biting you does not produce the desired result (you letting the snake go or putting it back in its cage) and thus will eventually stop biting you when you pick it up.

In the dog training world, we call this flooding and learned helplessness. It “works” because it produces what we wanted it to. The snake no longer bites when you pick it up. But it failed to address the root of the problem, and frequently if regular handling is not maintained the snake will return to biting you every time you touch it. The snake had learned that there was nothing it could do in order to make you stop doing what it didn’t like, and so had learned that it was helpless against the much larger human. The snake in this situation still doesn’t really want to be handled, it is merely tolerating it because it sees no other option.

While snakes have a much more primitive brain than dogs and thus a much more limited scope of emotions, aggression and violence are always expensive measures to use and thus are frequently considered last resort measures to make an unpleasant situation stop. They are costly in body resources- they take large amounts of energy, stress, and time to resolve, and wounds obtained from violence can become deadly with infection or severity. As a result, a bite should always indicate that whatever you are doing is so unpleasant to the animal you’re doing it to that they’re willing to risk their life in order to make you stop. The common pet snake knows it cannot win against an animal as large as a human. It is hoping you have not come to the same realization, and will not call its bluff.

This creates a problem. Like with dogs, backing off from a situation that is required after a bite will teach the snake that all they have to do to get you to leave them alone is to bite you. If I need to trim my dog’s nails, give him a bath, brush him, or have him examined by a vet, sure I could put him in a muzzle and force him to do it anyway, but it is counter-intuitive to teach him that all he has to do is bite me in order to get out of doing those things he may consider unpleasant. I need to be able to handle my snakes. This is not negotiable, just like the above things I do with my dogs are not negotiable. If I cannot handle them, I cannot check them for injury, disease, or distress. Backing off because my snake, or dog, has threatened to bite me is thus not a viable option. I must be able to complete the task, and the animal in question must let me.

Dogs, by comparison, are relatively easy to convince in this problem. I need to be able to do my dog’s nails. If I give him amazing treats on a good reward schedule, shower him with praise, listen to his body language to give him a chance to calm down and destress before pressing on, and remove my own negative emotions from the equation, he will learn to let me do his nails and even offer the position required for the task within a relatively short amount of time. He does not have to like having his nails done, but I can convince him to like he benefits he gets out of it. Cats and birds and small mammal pets like ferrets, rabbits, and rodents may be slower, but follow much the same way.

I can’t give a snake a treat. That’s not really how snake digestive systems work. I can’t give them a toy. I can’t give them praise. The subtleties of snake body language are much harder to read due to a lack of eyelids, ears, and limbs. Dogs, cats, birds, ferrets, all of these are social creatures that practice social bonding and feel an emotion similar to love (in the dog’s case, actually do feel love). Snakes are not social creatures and their brain is not capable of producing the chemicals involved in the emotion we call love. I cannot convince a snake to love me or to like being handled. That is not something their biology is able to do. Does that mean I have to rely on flooding and learned helplessness in order to get them to let me handle them?

I keep stressy species. While all reptiles are more than capable of stressing themselves to death, my current list of exotic pets includes a special needs ball python with a severe neurological condition, a brazilian rainbow boa specifically purchased from someone who breeds minimally stressy snakes because he got tired of the species’ reputation for being bitey assholes, and a dwarf bci locality (read: like a subspecies, but not different enough to get their own scientific name) known for being defensive bitey assholes. Previously, I had a special needs corn snake that was a defensive bitey asshole, an amazon tree boa that was remarkably handleable despite the species’ reputation for being aggressive and defensive bitey angry assholes, and a few foster ball pythons that came from neglect situations and had never been handled before leading to them being defensive bitey assholes. Stress is common in situations where aggression or violence is utilized, even if it is being utilized by the animal and not the human. If the stress from moving can kill my beloved ATB Hydra, why would I intentionally expose him to situations where he would feel required to use violence again and again until he learned that that was not a way out of the situation?

I did not flood my snakes. I hold them. They do not bite me. It has been a long time since any of them have even struck at me, and the majority of the bites and strikes I have received have been from when I was learning the snake in front of me or from me intentionally ignoring their body language and handling them a way I knew they didn’t like for whatever reason. Snakes do not bite without cause. Whether you, a human, can see that cause or not, snakes do not bite because they are vindictive or mean. As said, their brains are far too primitive to feel such complex emotions. Even wild snakes do not bite without provocation- whether you intentionally provoked them or not does not matter, simply whether they felt provoked enough to need to defend themselves possibly with their lives.

Vision came to me unsure of my intentions and of whether I could be considered safe. He certainly didn’t believe I should be picking him up. At two months old, the world is a scary place to a baby snake where nearly everything is bigger than you and nearly everything wants to kill or eat you. I do not blame him for doubting the warm giant cooing over him with grabby hands. To him, I’m sure I am some baffling mixture of hawk, bear, and wild canine. All of these things readily kill and eat snakes, all of these things may be persuaded to not kill and eat this particular snake if he bites them.

Instead of picking him up and allowing him to spend precious resources stressing himself to the point of repeatedly biting me- which hurts, by the way, so I don’t really want to be bitten any more than I need to be- I allowed him to show me things about him. I let him show me what he does when he’s nervous, when he doesn’t want to be bothered. I let him show me what he does when he’s curious and feels like investigating what’s in front of him. I let him show me how he does and does not like to be touched. Like many snakes, he seems to enjoy being scratched lightly under the chin. Like many snakes, he doesn’t seem to appreciate being tickled on the stomach. He prefers to create a “foot” about 2/3 down his body and use it as an anchored perch when exploring my hands. He does not want his tail to be touched. When he is nervous or unsure of potential danger, he will retract and coil himself into a loose ball. If pressed before he recovers, he will “expand” the “ball” quickly and vocalize. If he continues to be pressured, he will threaten to bite and will begin to try. If he is allowed to relax, he will recreate his “foot” and resume quietly investigating his surroundings.

Today, I took the lid off of his enclosure and lifted him out without a fuss. While this is not a first- we accomplished this task about 4 weeks in- only in the past few weeks has he not immediately retracted into his loose ball and required me to wait a few minutes for him to relax before touching him. Instead, he immediately made his “foot” and began to investigate, leaned against my finger as I scratched his chin, and maintained his confidence throughout the time I handled him. Sure, I could possibly get a similar result through the first method of flooding and teaching him that he is helpless against me, but I don’t need to. I can get a confident content snake that is not only tolerating my handling but also showing curiosity and intelligence without forcing him to accept my hands as things he has to deal with in his life.

The people espousing these methods always ask me how I managed to take such nice, interesting pictures of Hydra without bleeding- or joke about how much blood they think I lost inbetween shots- and are always surprised when I tell them that I don’t get bit because I understand a snake’s need for autonomy and allow the snake to tell me their “rules” for being touched and then follow those rules or understand if I break them I will get bit. As a result, I don’t break their rules unless I have to, and thus I don’t get bit unless I have to. This allows me to handle and investigate my snakes, look in their mouths, check their vents and between their scales, touch their heads, and rescue them from fluke accidents such as Quetzal’s injury with his decor without the snake taking their frustrations out on me. It also allows me to take some pretty pictures of them outside or on props without worrying how I will retrieve them without being bitten when I’m done. 

Then it’s quiet again, but as always this luxury doesn’t last more than a few minutes, because they’ve taken to a highway and there’s a long stretch of road ahead of them, and Harry starts talking again, “So are we g'na ignore how you were drooling over me?”

Y/N scoffs, affronted by the accusation that was 100% corrected, “Was not drooling  over you, jesus, get your head out of your ass.” She grumps at him, “Not everyone on this planet gets wet at the sight of your biceps.”

She wishes it was ruffling him, but she can tell it isn’t. He merely grins sneakily and leans back into his seat, “Yeah, what ever you say, Pet.”

or

Y/N and Harry don’t really mesh well, until they do

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anonymous asked:

That 'its lexa' scene killed me, like, clarke looks like she's about to break into pieces....

That scene is as brief as it’s impactful and excruciating. For Clarke, it’s the climax of an emotional journey she had to endure throughout the whole episode and it’s raw to watch and experience and it just leaves me so heartbroken for her.

From the beginning of the episode, we see her being emotionally hammered down again and again and again: Jasper telling her she deserves to die, ALIE!Raven bringing up all her ghosts and making her feel even guiltier about Lexa’s death, Jasper again rejecting her apology. She has her walls up, hasn’t let them down since Lexa’s death, but It’s evident that this all weighs down on her heavily. What makes her especially fragile in this episode is that she has no chance for escapism. Ever since Lexa died, Clarke has kept herself busy/distracted with things she must do, right? First, it’s making sure Aden wins the Conclave and that he honors Lexa’s wish of having Skaikru join the Coalition and being protected. She literally rejects Aden’s offer of having a private moment with Lexa’s body.

She can’t do that, she can’t deal with that pain just yet, it’s too fresh and overwhelming. Having that moment would mean having to process Lexa’s death, having to embrace grief, which she’s not ready to do. Her only option is to ignore it, to hide from it.

After Ontari kills Aden and all the Natblida, Clarke’s focus shifts to making sure Ontari doesn’t become Commander, taking the Flame to Luna and protecting the Flame with her life. It’s her drive throughout 3B. There’s an interesting single-mindedness that characterizes her throughout the rest of the season. She needs to focus on this mission, there is little room for anything else. If she stopped, even for a minute, her feelings would be impossible to avoid. It’s a defense mechanism. She shuts the door on grief and clings to what she has: a distraction (the never-ending list of concerns she has to deal with), a hopeless hope that not everything is lost (the Flame).

But then we get to 311.

It’s a peculiar kind of episode, for most of its runtime taking place in a closed environment. But not only that: in this episode, for a long time the characters are forced to stall. There are few exceptions (Octavia and Monty), but for almost the whole episode we are stuck at Niylah’s trading post with the characters, who are racking their brains as they try to find a solution to save Raven, and waiting. Because there is nowhere to rush to, nothing they can do. Nothing Clarke can do. Even when they devise a plan to try and fry the chip, it’s someone else who has to go out and find what they need to carry out the task, not her. She is, quite simply, stuck. Not only physically, but she is stuck with her thoughts and her feelings. And that has consequences of course.

As I said before, we see Clarke getting progressively closer and closer to her breaking point. She first snaps after the continuous hits at her heart by ALIE!Raven, when she reminds her of all the people that died because of her. That it’s not really Clarke’s fault is irrelevant, Clarke feels that guilt and bears it constantly, and in a moment as tense and delicate as that one, it brings her to lash out. What’s interesting to me is that it’s not an immediate reaction. ALIE!Raven first uses Wells, Charlotte, and Finn and while clearly still affected, Clarke recognizes ALIE!Raven’s strategy and manages to mostly ignore her. But then, she mentions Lexa, and Clarke’s reaction is entirely different. (x)

It’s so different from her previous strained attempts at ignoring what is being said to her that even ALIE notices it, with that head tilt she does when she’s learning something new. Clarke here doesn’t even try to pretend she’s not affected by Lexa’s mention. She directly goes and tells ALIE!Raven to shut up. She looks up the second she hears Lexa’s name, her glare is deadly, her words are seething. She doesn’t wanna hear this, she can’t hear this. Also! This isn’t the first time someone told her she was responsible for Lexa’s death, with Titus telling her he pulled the trigger but it was her fault. You can bet that had a great impact on Clarke and made her only more sensitive to ALIE!Raven’s words.

And the comment about her father’s death is the last straw. So we get her lashing out and literally trying to gag Raven so she doesn’t have to hear this any longer.

The heartbreaking thing is that she pretty much gets no respite. Bellamy takes her place in the room with Raven, but Jasper is immediately there to remind her about Mt Weather and how she killed all those people and Maya. She’s literally on the verge of tears when he rejects her apology and roughly pushes past her.

All this shows she is incredibly close to reaching her limit. All that tension and pain and guilt is like a fire simmering inside her, a fire she has no way to cool down because as I said, she is deprived of almost any distraction. She spends the episode being reminded of what she did and most importantly, of what, who, she lost.

So when Jasper grabs the Flame and is ready to destroy it, Clarke’s walls shatter. Faced with the possibility of losing yet another thing extremely important to her, she has no way of shutting down her pain and grief any longer. (x)

She panics when she realizes what Jasper is about to do. She is frantic in trying to get the Flame back, desperation is written all over her. The possibility of losing the one part of Lexa she has left propels forward that fire of pain and grief. Lexa is gone, this is all she has left of her, and she can’t bear to lose that too. All her restraint, her imposed control over her emotions, is useless in this brief moment. And so…

She doesn’t use logic to try to stop Jasper, it’s her heart here begging him to not take Lexa from her. It’s raw, it’s charged with every emotion ranging from despair to heartbreak, it’s harrowing. For this brief moment, Clarke is stripped down, emotionally bare and vulnerable. She doesn’t avoid her grief, she embraces it. She even arrives to relive details of the moment Lexa died.

Oh, and that “I’m not–” she says immediately after, right before pausing and figuring out how to save Raven. That breaks my heart because I can’t help but wonder what she was going to say. “I’m not making this up… I’m not lying… I’m not crazy.” She needs Jasper to believe her because otherwise, she is going to lose that part of Lexa she still has, however small. The fact that her reaction is so intense and heart-wrenching is only a proof of just how much she loves Lexa and of how much pain and sorrow her death caused to Clarke.

And when eventually Jasper gives the Flame back to her, Clarke treats it like something incredibly precious. She cradles it in her hands, she brings it close to her chest, almost protectively, she keeps her eyes set on it, she is extremely careful in putting it back in the case. She takes her time with everything and if you look at the scene, you can see that from the moment she gets the Flame back to when she places it back in the case, it’s almost like it’s just Clarke and the Flame. She focuses only on that. She’s still got it, she can still hold on to it, to Lexa. And it’s a thin consolation, yes. It’s probably more painful than relieving, because the Flame is at the end of the day a reminder that Lexa is dead and Clarke lost her. 

Clarke is grieving and she should be allowed to go through every stage of her grief, but unfortunately, that is not the case with her. Everything she is feeling is written on her face, every unresolved, painful emotion tied to Lexa’s death. But the moment is gone, and with one last look, she collects herself as best as she can and she goes back to her mission. (x)

To me, this is one of the things that make this entire scene even more devastating. We get a glimpse at the enormity of the pain that Clarke is feeling, we see every visceral emotion she is hiding behind her mask of stoicism, but she isn’t allowed to properly deal with it, and thus, to heal.

Anyway, I made myself sad. To cut it short, the main point of all this is that Clarke loved Lexa immensely and this scene proves it.

Q&A Cristina, Kieran, Mark and the politics of trust

“clockwork-artifices said: Hello, Cassie. I<3 Cristina, so i wanted to ask about her. She’s been described as someone who’s been hurt and betrayed in the past (and recently), therefore she doesn’t really trust people that easily now, so with that in mind i couldn’t totally understand 

spoilers

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4

YOI Future!Verse ABO AU, Visual Headcanon Web Charts #01

So I always wanted to make one of these. Turns out my headcanons for the most part are WAY too wordy for these things and uh, they’re a bit of a mess >.>;; BUT I hope nonetheless that they’re somewhat fun to read even if barely legible, it was fun to make ^ ^;

1. Super basic relationship chart of the core members of the lovely poly family in this AU.

2. “Adults Think,” the color of each adult indicates their feelings towards the person to whom the arrow is pointing.

3. “Kids Think,” the color of each OC kid indicates their feelings towards the person to whom the arrow is pointing.

There’s obviously a lot more to it than what could be crammed in the lil text boxes, but a gist and pretty much the first things that immediately popped into my mind regarding their interactions. 2 and 3 also mostly show their thoughts while the kids are younger, which will change a bit as they grow up, to be covered in a future post.

*Recommended you right click view image to see full size bc the text is tiny oops

Because the text is so illegible, text only versions of charts 2 and 3 beneath cut, all elaborated quite a bit because I’m so rambly oops:

~~

IF YOU ARE NEW TO THIS AU: It’s Yuuri-centric polyamory in an ABO setting, Yuuri’s married to four mates (Victor, Yurio, Phichit, Minami) and they have OC kids.

BASICS of this AU

INTRO to how ABO works in this AU

OTHER POSTS (comics + illustrations) in the Future!Verse ABO section of my YOI Masterpost.

~~

Please keep ship bashing out of the comments/tags. Don’t like, just skip <3 Thank you.

~~

PLEASE DO NOT REPOST, EDIT, OR OTHERWISE USE MY ART WITHOUT MY EXPLICIT PERMISSION. More detailed rules available on my Rules & FAQ Post.

~~

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Makeup Marichat May, Day 11. Age-up Marinette!

Title: Change
Word Count: 1,934

It’d been a while since he really saw her last. After they’d gone off to university, he’d had a hectic schedule that didn’t allow him much time to socialize with his friends from middle school or high school. Plus, with Nino away in Spain, and Alya’s web journalism internship they hardly had a chance to all get together.

Seeing her now, sitting on her balcony quietly consumed in sketching, Chat Noir was hit with an overwhelming wave of nostalgia.

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The way Bangtan would have sex (M)

d i s c l a i m e r || this is just my opinion based on the general idea of their character I have formed through out the years. Of course you could have a totally different opinion than mine (since we’re all different people, we also perceive things differently) and of course I have no way of knowing if I even came close to the reality so take it as it is: an opinion of a fellow ARMY. Thank you :)

w a r n i n g || the contents of this post are only for a mature audience to see - that’s why it’s under the cut - and it’s heavily N S F W because it doesn’t contain only words but also gif depictions of love making.

C R E D I T S OF THE GIFS TO RIGHTFUL OWNERS.

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A Lesson in Love (The Reunion)

Summary: (College!AU) In which you’re assigned to write a story about romance, a subject you know nothing about, and Bucky, a hopeless romantic, offers you his assistance.

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 3,837

A/N: This is the second to last part in the series, babes. We’re almost done with this journey. 

“A Lesson in Love” Masterlist + Soundtrack

@avengerstories - you truly are the best of the best when it comes to editing (and everything else too)

Originally posted by captaincentenarian

You’ve walked the length of this hallway more than a dozen times before. Hundreds, if you count the amount of times you’ve strolled through the hallway in your apartment, one that is a spitting image of the one you’re standing in now. Your familiarity with the small space should make the journey from where you’re standing to where you need to be easy.

Should.

Every time you’ve made this walk, it was never with the knowledge that what’s waiting for you at your final destination had the potential to change everything.

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Writing Tips - YOI Edition

I decided to start my little series of writing tips with a Yuri On Ice specific post because that’s the fandom I’m most familiar with. While I’ll make examples from the anime, keep in mind that most of these things can be taken in a more general way and applied to other fandoms as well.

These are only tips and if you don’t follow them that’s perfectly fine, your fanfiction is valid.


LANGUAGES:

Different characters speak different languages with each other, and implementing that in your fic can make it feel more realistic. That doesn’t mean that you have to include a full dialogue in a language other than the one of your fic (although a few words thrown here and there like terms of endearment are always good, and even a couple of full sentences are fine, just remember to translate them in the notes), but there are ways to show this even if you don’t do that. Simply have your POV character hear a dialogue and not understanding it, and asking about it later (or just wondering about it in their head). Another small thing is to not have the POV character be surprised by this (unless for very specific reasons): they’re used to being in international environments and to hearing different languages being spoken by other skaters, so it’s usually not a big deal to them.

Another tip is to understand what being bilingual (or tri- or multilingual) means. We don’t randomly start mixing two languages. The only instance where I’ve had that happen to me is when for some reason a word in one of the language I speak has to be in my sentence, then it might happen that I actually keep talking in that language. 

Example:

Gli ho detto che è bravo nel multitasking, and like-”

As you can see, the “and like” is some of those things we’re used to saying to connect sentences (like “you know” and other stuff), so it’s something easy to slip into if we’ve just said a word in English. You also see I stopped the sentence there because that’s what I feel happens, you don’t go on speaking in a different language for ten minutes, you usually notice right away and stop yourself.

That’s a very specific example of course, but what will mostly happen in your fic is that a character will switch back and forth effortlessly.

Examples: 

Yuuri is talking to Victor in English, then his mom brings them homemade katsudon and Yuuri thanks her and holds a short conversation with her in Japanese. Then he goes back to speaking to Victor.

Yuri and Otabek are speaking on skype in Russian. Otabek’s sister enters his room and asks him in Kazakh to help her with her homework, and he tells her (in Kazakh) that he’ll be right there, then he proceeds to explain Yuri what happened in Russian and they say goodbye and hang up.

Yuri and Victor are talking at the rink in Russian, then Yuuri skates towards him, and both Yuri and Victor switch to English to include Yuuri in the conversation.


Who speaks what language:

Generally speaking, all skaters interact in English.

Victor, Yuri, Mila, Georgi, Yakov, Lilia, Nikolai all speak Russian among each other. They might use English around other people if they don’t want to be rude to them, but in general they’ll have a tendency to keep speaking in Russian to each other, no matter how fluent in English they are.

Victor speaks fluent French as well as Russian and English, so it’s safe to believe that he and Chris speak French when they communicate.

Looking at the Japanese side of things, Yuuri, Yuuko (probably her husband too), Minako and Mari all speak fluent English, contrary to Yuuri’s parents who don’t appear to speak it at all. The triplets are 6 years old so they most definitely only speak Japanese. I headcanon that Minami doesn’t really speak a good English since he doesn’t appear to have competed much or at all outside of Japan, but I don’t think we have enough info about him so do what you want with him.

Otabek’s first language is Kazakh. It uses the same alphabet as Russian but it’s a different thing, but Kazakhs generally learn Russian and Otabek is definitely fluent in it. He’s also lived in the US and in Canada so he’s fluent in English as well. When he interacts with Yuri you should keep in mind that they’re speaking Russian.

Of course, when writing post-canon, it’s entirely possible and even very likely that the couples (or even friends, for example Yuuri and Phichit probably learned a little of Thai and Japanese respectively) pick up each other’s languages. Victor will learn Japanese, Yuuri will learn Russian, Emil will learn Italian. I headcanon that in some couples only one of them will learn the other’s language (for example I don’t think it’d be very useful for Yuri to learn more than a little basic Kazakh), but that’s absolutely up to you.

Another thing I personally like to do in my fanfics whenever there’s characters with different nationalities is to remind the reader that everyone has different accents. You don’t have to point it out in every sentence, but even just doing it once in your whole fic will make it feel, once again, more realistic. Another accent fun fact: at the beginning it’s hard to understand an accent you’ve never heard before, but it gets easier the more you keep hearing it. Try to think of ways to show that in your fanfic if that’s something you want to do.


NICKNAMES: 

Another important aspect in YOI is the use of nicknames, like Yurio or Katsudon. The thing is, not everyone uses them, and not in every context. If you want to use them in a fic and be true to canon, learn who uses them and why.

Yurio 

is a nickname given by Mari to Yuri P. to avoid confusion between him and her brother Yuuri. Yuuri, Victor and Yuuri’s family and friends are the only ones using it. Yuri hates it. He wouldn’t use it for himself, so avoid using it in your fic unless:

  • the characters I mentioned above are talking to him
  • one of the characters above is also the POV character (especially if it’s first person)
  • Yuri himself is complaining about it

Especially avoid using it when:

  • it’s Yuri’s POV
  • it’s the POV of someone close to Yuri or who knew Yuri before canon (like his grandpa, Yakov, Mila, etc)
  • it’s Otabek’s POV. He’s his friend (or more) and he would use his given name (unless for some reason he wanted to annoy him - which he probably would at some point lol)

Yura/Yurochka 

I don’t feel educated enough to talk about this myself, I could only say what I saw in the anime but you should definitely read this post because it’s well done and explains who would call Yuri Yura or Yurochka.

Katsudon

Only Yuri calls Yuuri Katsudon (sometimes he switches it for pig). Victor called Yuuri little piglet or something at the beginning of canon, but definitely doesn’t do it later on.

(Beka)

This is not canon yet, but it’s a really widespread nickname for Otabek within the fandom, that only Yuri (or Otabek’s family) uses.


In general, I think nicknames rub off on the people we talk to. So for example, when I write Otayuri I sometimes have Otabek think of Yuuri as “Katsudon”. Why? Because at least at the beginning he would only hear Yuri talk about him, and Yuri would refer to him with that nickname. He would probably not call Yuuri like that directly in a dialogue, but that’s all just speculation. I just added this bit because I think it’s one of the many ways to both build someone’s characterization and show instead of telling the kind of relationship two characters have.


Other writing tips: (coming soon!)

general pt.1 | general pt.2 | plot | dialogues | characterization

Dirty Dancing

Author: kpopfanfictrash

Pairing: You / Hoseok (J-Hope)

Rating: NC-17

Word Count: 5,242

Summary:  It’s the summer and all you want to be doing is hanging out with your friends. Your parents have other ideas and when you end up at a resort in the middle of the mountains, the only bright thing in sight is the dance instructor, Hoseok. If only said dance instructor didn’t seem to completely hate you.

Originally posted by jimins-bunss

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