and i seethe

It is, however, not only the failures of the later Stuarts that have obscured the achievements of their ancestors, but also the popular assumption that the Middle Ages were hopelessly backward and superstitious, and that the Scots as a people made little contribution to European civilisation until some undefined point after the Reformation. In addition, the fact that comparatively little has survived of Scotland’s medieval architectural and artistic heritage has not made it any easier to convince the sceptical of the considerable of the considerable achievements of that age. How different our perception of medieval Scotland would be if we could still see in their full glory the cathedrals of St Andrews and Elgin, or the abbeys of Holyrood and Melrose, great works of art whose counterparts on a larger scale have survived largely intact south of the border! Similarly, had the Stuart palaces at Stirling, Linlithgow and Falkland- which can stand comparison with some of the lesser chateaux of the Loire- suffered less abuse and neglect, Scotland could now more confidently claim her modest place in the history of Renaissance art.
— 

Alastair Cherry, in ‘Princes, Poets and Patrons: the Stuarts and Scotland’

THIS. This right here is the source of about half of my rage and frustration. While, as Cherry points out, there are some wonderful aspects that have survived, particularly at the universities and in the north-east, the scale of the loss and destruction of medieval Scotland’s artefacts, buildings, and traditions often overwhelms me.

This does not just apply to buildings and art, but to music, books (and libraries), stories, accounts, and many other areas that are of value not only to someone interested in history, but to the ordinary person, whether a Scot or not, when forming a perception of Scotland, both medieval and present day. (And I won’t even begin to go into the destruction of official state documents and records).

I know I lump a lot of the blame on the iconoclasm of the Reformation but it may just as easily be applied to a variety of other causes, from the Victorians (was that really the only available spot for Waverley Station guys? I suppose I should just be thankful the Altarpiece survived) to the ravages of war and crime in the Middle Ages itself (Roxburgh or the destruction of documentation during the Wars of Independence). 

More often, it is simply a a case of neglect, which is probably the saddest cause of all. 

And this only applies to the royal/government centres of power- the situation is worse in some regions of Scotland. 

Cherry is of course also referring to the damage done to the reputations of the Stewart dynasty by writers, from before the Reformation up to the twentieth century, to combat monarchs they didn’t like in their own day by dismissing their ancestors, but that also really annoys me and would occasion another rant so I won’t go into it too much. And also the dismissal of the Middle Ages, both in general and of medieval Scotland.

Anyway, I just saw this quote and it perfectly summed up an aspect of history that really makes me frustrated and upset to think of. All countries suffered destruction, and for some others their history is less well-known because of a lack of translations, but Scotland is both something close to home for me, and also quite a serious case of what neglect and casual degradation can do for a nation’s history and sense of self.

Rant finite. 

omg it finally happened

someone pulled the “but you were a baby once” thing on me when i expressed my seething hate for babies

MY DUDE, EVEN MY OWN BABY PICTURES IGNITE THE SAME FEELINGS OF REVULSION AND ANXIETY THAT OTHER BABIES DO

The Sounds of Love (Part 13)

Author’s Note: I may only write five to seven more parts to this. Maybe less. This story is coming to a close rapidly!     

     My fist is ready to land on the taller man’s jaw when Dec grabs my arm and lowers it. I turn and look at him. Pleadingly, he tugs on my arm. He wants to leave. I can feel him shaking from fear, and I lose some of my anger. If I get in a fight with the men and get hurt, I’ll scare Dec even more and I can’t do that to him.

    He pulls me away from the men and I silently seethe as we begin to walk away. I should have done something to protect Dec. I can’t just let them get away with hurting him. He’s my fiancé. It’s my job to protect him and I feel like I’ve failed. I told him to take the bandage off. I told him to come to the store with me. Because of my actions, he’s been insulted by the drunk men.

     A loud voice suddenly rings out, interrupting my thoughts. “Ant, behind you!” It’s a young voice. A young child’s voice. The girl sounds terrified. Both Dec and I whirl around. The two men are right behind us, and two hands slam into my chest and shove me backwards. With a startled cry, I stumble backwards into a display full of aluminum cans full of corn and beans, which fall to the ground at my contact. My back slams directly into the cans and moaning, I crash heavily to the floor.

    Dec tries to go to my side, but the other man grabs him and pretty much throws him onto a wooden table that has apples and oranges neatly arranged on it. His stomach and abdomen go directly into the corner of the table and I hear him cry out in pain. The table breaks at his contact, sending him crashing to the ground. Apples and oranges roll across the floor; wood sprawled out under his body. He curls into a ball, hiding his face in the ground. He’s afraid he is going to be hurt again.

    I hear Dec groan in pain for the second time, and that scares me to death because the injuries to his vocal chords left him completely mute. He shouldn’t be able to make any noise at all. Yet he is able to moan. He has got to be in so much pain from both colliding with the table and straining his vocal chords even further.

     Roughly, I force myself to stand and stumble over to him, where I drop to my knees besides him. He’s shuddering from the high intensity of his pain, and I know that he’s crying. His arms are wrapped around his stomach, and when I roll him over, I can see he’s trying to talk. Tears are streaming down his cheeks and my heart almost breaks when I see how much pain he is in.

     He’s groaning in pain and he’s struggling frantically to talk to me. The fight and then the contact to his stomach must have really scared him because Dec knows he won’t be able to talk again. The doctors told us it was pointless to try therapy because he would never talk again. They said it was hopeless. Yet, Dec must still believe that he will be able to talk, or maybe the pain is too strong for him to handle, because I can see him mouthing something, trying so desperately to talk.

    I’m about to lift his shirt to see what kind of damage he sustained when Dec does it. My heart stops at the sound of Dec’s voice for the first time in two weeks, exactly. “Ant,” Dec forces through clenched teeth, moaning in pain, “Anth…”

    Tears cloud my vision as Dec pushes himself up and into my arms. He kisses me on the lips passionately, and I return the same feeling of devotion as I kiss him back. His arms wrap around my neck, and I feel all of my worry and pain melting out of my body as Dec settles within my embrace. “Decky, you spoke!” I announce tearfully, my cheeks stained with tears.

     He grins at me and tries to respond, but immediately moves his hands to his throat. Around us, people start to clap. Everyone in the market who are within a three aisle radius of us start to cheer. Dec spoke. My fiancé spoke for the first time in two weeks! For the first time in fourteen days! I can’t believe it. He spoke!!!

     My throat is really sore but I don’t care. Anth, I spoke! I said yer name! I can talk!

    I sigh happily and kiss him again. “Forget the shopping. Let’s go home. We should probably call home and tell everyone the good news before the press releases the story. And,” I rub our noses together, “We need to get you to a specialist and check on your vocal chords.”

    Good idea. He sighs and buries his face in my neck. God, that hurt. It’ll all be worth it though when I can tell you I love you.

    I stand up with him in my arms, and set him down gently. He looks at me with tears in his eyes. Is your back okay?

    “Sore,” I admit. “I think we’ll both have bruises tomorrow. We’ll be using ice tonight for sure to help with the pain.”

     He nods and reaches out with his good hand to rub my back. His hand is light on my back, and the light massage he gives me makes me feel even better. “Thanks,” I murmur, kissing him again. “Don’t try to talk again until we get you to therapy, yeah? We don’t want to make yer throat even worse.”

    Got it… He sighs painfully and closes his eyes, falling against me. I don’t feel very well. Not prepared to catch him, I stumble back a little with him in my arms. He’s almost completely limp in my arms, his eyes closed.

     "Decks? What’s going on? Are you okay?“ I don’t like how he’s so still and limp in my arms. I know he hit the table hard…but what’s going on? Why’s he almost unconscious?

     Ant, please don’t get mad…

      "Why should I be mad?” I ask softly. “I promise I won’t be though.”

     I don’t want to ever go to the store again. Not until I can talk.

      “I’m mad Decky, but certainly not at you. I’m mad at the men who did this. They insulted you and hurt you. It’s them I can’t stand. You just got caught in the middle by their hurtful attacks.”

     Okay. Well I feel better now. That was just a burst of pain. It’s gone for the moment. Let’s go home. Thanks.

     "Thanks for what? I didn’t do anything.“

     For standing up for me, for caring, for getting hurt for me, and most of all…for being my fiancé. That means a lot to me.

      "You’re going to win the award for making me cry the most times in one day,” I murmur. “First you talk and now you are complimenting me…”

      Dec smiles at me as we pay the manager for the damage to the store. He’s holding onto my arm as we walk to the car, and I kiss him gently before helping him into the car. “You know what I’m going to do?”

      No, what? Dec shakes his head.

      “Tonight I’m going to spoil you rotten because you talked. And spoiling you will ease my pain, and hopefully yours as well. Sound good?”

      Sounds perfect. I can’t wait.

     "Neither can I.“ Smiling at Dec, I kiss him again.

To be continued.

everyones like “youre so chill!” makes me so happy b/c i am constantly seething w/ rage and hurt and deep sadness and constantly complain so either im fooling everyone or im not as much of an ass as i think i am

@jroth and everyone else saying Raven enduring suffering will only prove she’s strong: we already know Raven is strong. The narrative has already made sure we’re aware through the loss of Finn, getting shot, losing the feeling in her leg, having excruciating surgery, being wrongfully tortured, and having the marrow drilled out of her, and now she’s in for another torture in s3??? What is that going to prove besides the fact that the writers don’t care nor have enough creativity to give her another storyline?

Jesus bought me, and now I am His

Dying with Him, in His death I now live

All my vices, to which I’ve been chained

Only speak the sweetness of my Savior’s grace

And still I’m a wicked, wretched man, I do everything I hate

I am fighting to be god, I seethe and claw and thrash and shake

I have killed and stacked the dead, on a throne from which I reign

In the end I just want blood, and with His blood my hands are stained

See the God who reigns on high, He has opened His own veins

From His wounds a rushing torrent that can wash it all away

Grace upon grace, upon grace upon grace

anonymous asked:

People are being mean to soyqan...

{ So i’ve been at work and missed probably the bulk of this but I need to emphasis that this is unacceptable.

Roxas is NOT Adam and how he chooses to portray adam is up to him and him alone.

Sending someone hate over a character is absolutely DISGUSTING. What gives anyone the right to dare hate someone over this? Yes, Adam Taurus has been shown to be a less than savoury character as of current but Roxas is a god damn person and doesn’t deserve ANY of the bullshit people send to him now or before this episode. 

Roxas is a great person and has a great portrayal of Adam that has hours and HOURS of time poured into. 

Nobody has any right to send him hate over this. Nobody has any right to tell him such vile things because of who he rps.

HOW FUCKING DARE YOU TELL SOMEONE TO KILL THEMSELVES. HOW DARE YOU TELL SOMEONE THAT AND THINK IT’S ACCEPTABLE ALL OVER A FICTIONAL CHARACTER.

Roxas is a sweet person who was just as devastated about Adam’s character development than the next person, if not more. You do NOT and i repeat, DO NOT FUCKING SEND HATE to someone full stop. I dont care who they rp, what they’ve done, anon hate and hate in general is vile.

I hope, whoever you are, are fucking ashamed of yourself.}

anonymous asked:

Why are you so bitter about Louis' baby. It's not affecting you in anyway. If it is his baby okay. If it isn't then that's also okayy. Chill tf out.

I’ve deleted a lot of shitty anon messages today, but given that I’ve finished and published my article about Louis on Buzzfeed finally, I felt the need to address your sentiment in regards to my feelings. 

First off, they are my feelings, and if you’re happy to go along with your ‘dgaf’ demeanour, that’s just fine. I, however, seethe with anger at injustice and bullying. 

This isn’t about a baby. This is about the complete destruction of one’s reputation and character. I have no idea what Louis has done to anger the forces above him in the music world, but this is an unprecedented attack on someone of his level of fame in the music industry by his own team. Louis didn’t all of a sudden hit the self destruct button and start publicly fucking up all over the place…I can assure you that, having been in the company of celebrities in London, and having even been in the vicinity of One Direction members around town, the paparazzi aren’t tailing them every day. What you see is exactly what someone wants you to see. 

I don’t have to justify to anyone how I feel, and I’ve never even felt the need to pull out receipts I have from mutual friends of One Direction to prove how absolutely ludicrous the entire shit show of a PR team they have is because there is so much out there in front of everyone’s eyes that I can rely solely on information available to everyone and their mother to make a compelling argument. 

As someone who grew up in the LGBT community, I take extreme offence to the insinuation that this kind of closeting is necessary. I also take offence to the fact that someone as philanthropic and kind as Louis Tomlinson is at the forefront of a hate campaign, because he is not the person The Sun would have you believe he is.  

I will not “chill tf out” because it’s quite heartbreaking to see something that I’ve grown up seeing so many others be proud about be the cause of so much angst and hate amongst the fans of One Direction. Perhaps you’ve never lost a loved one to AIDS due to the negligence of a government, or lost someone to a hate crime because people are so unfathomably heinous, but I have. And I will aggressively defend the LGBT community for the rest of my life. 

So, you could say that the issue is affecting me in “a way”. 

Fuck you for trying to diminish anyone’s feelings about this. 

2

Got a frankly awe-inspiring set of reviews on my 6-month old fanfic United I Stand recently. Couldn’t resist replying. 

Am I sorry? 

No. No I am not.

(the quality of these photos is poor, but let’s be honest that is probably for the best I shouldn’t be doing this at all, and yet XD)

Brain Storm

I see a scene, the sea I’ve seen,
it seems to me the scenery;
It screams.
I cease to breathe,
yet beastly breezes bleed the trees of beaks and bees of every breed.
Secretly I sheathe my seething
Jealousy like seeds they’re seated
Deepening; their need to feed is
Subtly a reason for the seasons to give way to a release.