yeah uh this took like 7-9 hours (i didn’t keep track oops) and i’m really happy with how it turned out. dig down isn’t one of my favorites that muse has released but the music video design was so cool so i had to.
Apparently I can’t stop drawing these two. Have a MariChat sketch inspired by @baneismydragon‘s ridiculously hilarious and adorable fic Cut From The Same Cloth (found here: http://archiveofourown.org/works/9783911) wherein Adrien collects scraps of fabric from his father’s office to gift to Marinette for her project and shenanigans ensue. Go read it, it’s amazing.
Also, since I didn’t bother to sketch a background, because backgrounds are my ultimate weakness, pretend they’re on Marinette’s rooftop balcony and Chat interrupted her as she was about to go to bed. (Yes, it was just an excuse to draw her in cute ladybug pj’s, and also maybe torture Adrien a little, okay. I have no regrets.)
An Aquarius and I were sitting out in the park just relaxing, and suddenly she started kissing my neck and whispered, “I’m scared of getting too attached too quick to you, but you’re making this too difficult for me. I can’t stop thinking about you and I hate you for this..” She then bombarded me with kisses.
An Aries rubbed her hands together and sighed. “I’m so scared..” She said, “I’m scared of being a failure, to fail is something I can’t really see myself doing, and IF this relationship between us fails l, then I am too blame because I probably didn’t do my part.”
A Cancer looked at me with a small smile on her face and said, “I’m scared to love you. I’m scared to even think of loving you, but I have been through so much, so just wait for me to open up, okay?”
A Capricorn let out a small laugh and just looked at me and pushed me playfully, and then suddenly she got quiet and gently held my hand into hers. She looked back at me and said, “I’m not very good with words. I can’t always express myself the way you want me to, but believe me, I love you so much and I just don’t want you to think that I don’t. I see you. I feel you. You make me happy, okay?”
A Gemini slowly placed her hands on my face and squeezed my face playfully, then slowly got quiet before letting go and smiled. “Get use to me..”, she said as she backs away from me. “I’m the accurate Gemini and you wouldn’t want to get too attached if I just up and leave..” she slowly slowed down and stopped, “but that doesn’t mean you can just accept that, because for once I want someone to chase the fuck out of me..”
A Leo and I were cuddling and she slowly lifted my hand and looked at it and she snuggled closer to me and said, “I’m sorry if you think I’m very demanding at times, and I know that my pride gets the best of me, and I can’t seem to lower my pride when I know I’m in a wrong, but for you..” She looked up and stared at you. “I’m going to do everything for us to just work and we better meet halfway, okay?”
A Libra sat ontop of me in bed and we just talked the whole night like this, and slowly said, “I always think that I’d feel lost, or lose myself, when I know I’ll be deep in my feelings and no one is there to really listen to me, or even when I need someone.. I fear that I’d be just alone.. I’m scared, you know?” I watched her got quiet and I pulled her down and held her close to me and whispered to her that I will be here for her and she buried herself to me, holding onto me tightly..
A Pisces rolled and slowly inched herself closer to me and said, “I’m scared to wake up and to find you not in love with me anymore. To give my all to you, and you’ll just slowly just lose feelings for me right away…” She started to whimper and continued, “to feel like this will all be just a dream because you have been nothing but a blessing to me and I can’t lose this. I don’t want to lose this, to lose you. So, please reassure me every single damn day, asshole..”
A Sagittarius placed her arms around her my neck and whispered softly, “I overthink too much about things and I can’t stop. You’re in my thoughts alot. You always do..” Her hands rub the back of my neck and she slowly starts to sway us together. “I just can’t help that I’m like this when I’m with you..”
A Scorpio reached for my hands and squeezed them as tightly as she can and said, “I told you I have trust issues, and I have been hurt in the past, and I couldn’t put myself out there for you, and I just wanted you to know that if you give me a bit more time you’ll know.. you’ll know when I’m ready again.”
A Taurus and I were out in downtown and I watched her walk infront of me. She then turned around with her hands on her back and slowly walked towards me and said, “I’m falling for you, you know? But I’m not there yet. I’m scared to fall, because [laugh] I haven’t had anyone tried to catch me.. and I’m scared..” She looks into my eyes and slowly she reached for my hands. “I am falling for you, and I hope you’re there to catch me…”
A Virgo stared at me long and hard, she then leaned to kiss my cheek softly and said, “I have a fear of commitment. I’ve had alot of people promise me things and completely mistreated me and I know you mean well, but could you just.. can we take things slow? Because I don’t want to ruin this. I don’t want to ruin us. I like you, I really do but you’re..” I kissed her and she kisses back and suddenly she pulled away with a smirk on her face, “There you go again.. God, you’re at it again..”
>> DAY 8 of 100 DAYS OF PRODUCTIVITY
My messy math test review sheet for a test that was on Wednesday. I am so flipping happy that it’s over. Did I fail? Probably. Do I care? Hell no.
* jk kids don’t fail at school, k? good *
🎧 Listening to: Rather Be by Clean Bandit
back in school i used to be the worst person. everyone knew my best friend was “the smart one”. i was funny, sort of good for a laugh, but probably skipping class. i often failed math. i never did my homework. i was convinced i could never catch up. i didn’t go to class because i didn’t do the homework and i didn’t get the new homework so i didn’t do it. i felt constantly run down. like i was wasting my time. like some part of me wanted to be smarter than this, but couldn’t be. when they started bullying, the first thing they said was “stupid.” what else could i be.
i had no idea how to ask for help, or even when i needed it. i was so good at the things i excelled at that i had no idea how to try to understand something. if i ever felt like i hit a wall, i stopped what i was doing. i did “well enough” in my passions and just got used to saying “i’m not good.” i’m not good at math. i’m not good at essays. i’m not good at close reading. i’m not good at school. i’m not good at anything.
i graduated high school with something close to a 2.3, SAT scores high enough to save me.
teaching myself how to learn took me a lot of re-tries. i ended up having to drop out of school because of expenses and work for a while. after that came community college for two years and then transfer to a major university. by this time i was “the overachiever”, “the one who ruined the curve”. finally i was “the smart one”.
it felt sort of hollow. i had worked so hard to get here. sitting in graduation and seeing the little star next to my name that meant top ten percent of my class felt like i was looking at someone else’s life. i wasn’t actually this girl. i was still the “dumb one.” this 3.98 was a fluke in the system. i was pulling the wool over their eyes. i was still average. whenever someone made a comment about how “of course you did the extra work” it felt hollow. like i’m playacting. no, you see? i’m still a 2.3. i have so many excuses. i’m taking easy classes. i just like to be busy. no, no, i’m not smart, you’re not listening.