and i needed to keep myself busy so here you are

TalesFromThePharmacy: One Hundred Percent Baby Free™

Last call from tonight, on a not terribly busy night.

Me = myself,

L = Lady,

RPH = Pharmacist,

Me: “Thank you for calling [REDACTED] pharmacy, we provide vaccinations, how can I help you?

L: "You provide what?”

Me: “Vaccines? We have shots and stuff, to, uh, keep you from getting sick.” At this point, I’m not sure of myself or where this conversation is going, so everything I say has a non-committal upward inflection because people usually are aware that we have vaccines and don’t need that part explained to them.

L: “Oh, really? I’ve never heard that.” Weird, we’ve gotten prescriptions for her before, and literally all of my co-workers here start their phone greetings by mentioning them, but people don’t really listen, so I can understand she possibly missed that. “What have you got?”

Me “We have, flu shots, meningitis shots, pneumonia shots, TDAP, tetanus shots, all sorts. Anything in particular you’re looking for?” It’s eight thirty, we close in thirty minutes. You’re probably not getting a vaccine tonight.

L: “Well, I heard that they have baby parts in them.”

Me: “Uhhhhhh, do what now?” I furrow my brow. “Lemme put you on hold real quick.” I put the call on hold, furrow my brow, and try my damnedest to not break composure, and turn to the pharmacist and manage “so, this lady on the call thinks we’ve got babypartsinourvaccines?”

RPH: “Well, we don’t, so I guess just tell her there aren’t any babies in our vaccines.”

Me: “Well, yeah I know that, but… whatever, if it sets her mind at ease.” I resume the call. “Well, ma'am, I can say with complete certainty that our vaccines are one hundred percent baby free.”

L: “Well, I wish I would’ve known that. When I was at the doctor’s office, the nurse just jabbed me with something when I was talking to the doctor.” Oh, okay. “They really ought to defund Planned Parenthood.”

I make some more non-committal noises so as not to provoke any sort of conflict.

Me: “That’s unfortunate. Now, is there something else I can help you with?”

L: “Yeah, I’d like a refill on my Diazepam.”

Me: “It looks like that’s at another location.”

L: “Oh, this isn’t [REDACTED] pharmacy on [VERY REDACTED] street?”

Me: “Unfortunately not. This is [REDACTED] pharmacy on [INCREDIBLY REDACTED] street. Is there anything else I can help you with?” She says no, I say have a good night, and I hang up, and shrug my absolute goddamn hardest to the pharmacist next to me who’s been enjoying the half of the conversation he can hear.

The lady wasn’t mean or crazy sounding or anything like that. She was just a nice old lady who read the wrong article online.

TL;DR No, there’s no god damned baby scrapings in vaccinations.

INB4 the formatting is fucked and I have to edit it several times to make the story coherent.

Edit 1: God damn, I hate being a self-fulfilling prophecy. Formatting was fucked.


  • adult: *approaching me in public* you're always on that phone aren't you!!
  • what i want to say: you see what you don't understand is in this situation i am most likely without anyone in this vicinity that i know well and can hold a conversation with so this phone is the only thing keeping me from sitting here awkwardly in silence and that would just triple the amount of anxiety i already feel because if i have a phone out it makes it look as if i'm busy or preoccupied and and not in fact lonely just sitting here staring off into the distance may attract "are you okay"s i want to draw the least amount of attention to myself so thank you so much now that you've pointed out how much i'm on my phone i'm going to feel the need to get off of it to avoid looking rude and then i'll be sitting quietly and the whole situation i've wanted to avoid will happen to please just let don't point it out this device is my safety net
  • what i say: um, haha, that's true!! *slowly puts phone down*

So, I know I said I was going to write at work, but up until this point, it’s been just busy enough to keep me from focusing the way I need to.  And in any case, both of my next projects are still in the planning/outlining stage.

And I know I have an inbox full of prompts from the last list, and while I promise I’ll get to the eventually, none of them are speaking to me right at this moment.  And in my experience, there’s no surer road to bad writing than forcing something that’s not holding your interest.

SO!  Here are 100 prompts I wrote myself, mainly with Mulder and Scully in mind, free to reblog and use as you wish.  I’ll try and get as many that are sent to me done as possible in the coming weeks, while I’m going nuts with holiday prep and planning my next long stories.  Happy writing/requesting/reading!

1. This isn’t the first time you’ve seen this, is it?
2. Well… I was having a good day.
3. I’m sorry!  I thought that was your knee!
4. You’re never allowed to drink that much coffee again.
5. Are you implying there’s something wrong with my driving?
6. You realize this fixes nothing, right?
7. Subtlety has never been your strong suit.
8. How many of those have you broken this year?
9. You and I clearly have a very different definition of what constitutes “normal.”
10. Was that a crack about my height?
11. This is not the time for a crisis of conscience.
12. The last time I did this, I was drunk.
13. Potato chips aren’t a meal.
14. If you’re feeling the urge to sing, please, repress it.
15. I didn’t say it was worse; I said it was different.
16. This is how even the best diet plans fail.
17. I’m overwhelmed… but in a good way, I promise.
18. Apparently changing a toner cartridge is more dangerous than I thought.
19. This doesn’t count as an apology.
20. Pretty sure that’s not possible without surgery.
21. I didn’t say you had to sit on my lap.  It was just a suggestion.
22. You should be proud.  I know I am.
23. You promised me you’d quit!
24. It’s the smell that gets to me, more than anything else.
25. I’m not sure I’d call that “music.”
26. Let’s face it: you and five A.M. have never been the best of friends.
27. Do you have any concern whatsover for the state of my neck?
28. I was really hoping I’d hallucinated all that.
29. Is it supposed to be sticky?
30. Realistically?  Well… no, I wouldn’t say that.
31. I promise, it’s not what it looks like.
32. I’m in love with the idea… but I suspect the reality wouldn’t match up.
33. I’ve got news for you: if the elevator’s broken, you’re carrying me.
34. Do I want to know what’s in this?
35. I’d say what I think, but then I’d be in fear for my life.
36. I’ve read it twelve times and I’m still confused.
37. Do you really think this is the right time to be worried about your hair?
38. I know it’s technically inappropriate, but I really don’t care.
39. I’m gonna give you five minutes to rephrase that and try again.
40. Honestly, I never would have noticed if you hadn’t pointed it out.
41. Time flies when you’re too drunk to read your watch, huh?
42. Written down, it sounds even more ridiculous.
43. Eating hot wings before we did this was a mistake.
44. There’s no conflict of interest if he’s dead, is there?
45. That microwave didn’t do anything to deserve this.
46. How many of those did you take?
47. Can you call yourself an adult if you’ve never learned to do this for yourself?
48. I swear, if you do this, I’m not cleaning up after you.
49. I could never decide if you were colorblind, or just had terrible fashion sense.
50. I’d list the reasons this is a bad idea, but we don’t have that kind of time.
51. Monsters are the least of your concerns right now.
52. “Cute” really isn’t the word I’d pick.
53. It’s really not worth doing if you’re not there.  Not to me.
54. That’s what you call clean?
55. Well, if you’re not stealing all the good pens, who is?
56. So… you thought shooting it was the obvious solution?
57. I don’t think you understand the purpose behind weekends.
58. I had no idea legs could bend that way.
59. Well, it’s not exactly my dream wedding, but it’ll do.
60. You don’t see it happening because it’s not aimed at you; it’s aimed at me.
61. It’s not supposed to have holes in it.
62. Oh, and you’re really living it up, with your no-dressing salads and your ten P.M. bedtime, aren’t you?
63. I couldn’t find it.  I’ll admit, I didn’t try very hard, but I wasn’t exactly motivated.
64. “Stop, drop, and roll” is harder to remember when you’re actually on fire.
65. If we ever get like that, I’m out.  I’m done.
66. “Sleeping through meetings” doesn’t count as a job skill.
67. Just once, I’d like to feel like you really, honestly have confidence in me.
68. Is this really the hill you want to die on?
69. Who, exactly, determines where the line is drawn?
70. Did you see where that fell from?
71. Is there anything that’s not in your emergency kit?
72. Nobody’s died, but it’s early yet.
73. It feels amazing… which is exactly why I don’t trust it.
74. The nights are the hardest.
75. Most of the time, I feel like I can’t think about anything else.
76. There’s no way you can fit all that in your suitcase, and you’re not using mine.
77. Does this count as a date?
78. I don’t care if it’s “seasonally appropriate,” I am not watching this movie again.
79. Has that excuse worked for anyone, ever, in the history of excuses?
80. You’re going to get us thrown out.  Again.
81. I know you think I don’t hear you, but I do.  I’m always listening.
82. It’s a big risk for an uncertain reward… but when has that ever stopped us?
83. It’s not something I’ve ever considered before, but things are changing.
84. Did you mean to say that out loud?
85. It’s a plan, sure, but I wouldn’t call it a solution.
86. How many times do I need to say it before you believe me?
87. Really?  You actually made a list?
88. I know what it says about me and I don’t care.
89. It’s cute that you think you need an excuse to hold my hand.
90. I’d like to go back in time to the moment before I saw that so I could look away.
91. It’s not supposed to fit like that.
92. At least your neighbors will have something new to complain about.
93. Airport security is going to have a field day with you.
94. It’s a very distinctive nose, but that’s not automatically a bad thing.
95. Maybe you could’ve worn something less memorable?
96. Yelling at the computer is not going to fix it.
97. It’s not like you can borrow mine if you forget your own.
98. No, that’s fine.  It’s not like I needed to sleep tonight.
99. It’s a lot shorter than I was expecting.
100. First times are overrated.  Too many expectations.

anonymous asked:

do you have any editing tips? ;) (but like seriously tho)

wowza. i’m the one who needs tips asdgjdjkfds but i keep tips to myself in the notes app on my phone lol bc i’m still learning and i still need constant reminders so here’s my actual literal advice to myself whoop,,,

• use space well but avoid crowding. dead space is boring but busy designs are exhausting to look at

• colors and fonts definitely have a vibe. choose elements that work with the overall mood

• pick a font or 2 and just stick with that. don’t get wild

• font families literally exist to be used together (like arial, arial bold, arial bold italic)

• there are free fonts all over the internet! use them!

• bold colors are great but you need a visual break to relax from looking at that after a while. so like bright red is ok but contrast it with a neutral or something chill

• don’t know what colors to start with, color palettes out the booty hole my pal

• while i was looking for that link i found this site that recommends a palette to you based on any color you give it. what the fuck!!!!

• or just lift colors from the image you’re working from to create your own palette. use the eyedropper in your editing software or you could also go here or other websites that probably exist

• in the end if your colors are too noisy or they clash with each other try filtering to tone them down or balance them out

• when in doubt monochrome will never not look nice

• simple animation can make a world of difference. if you don’t want to add anymore visual elements to a graphic but it still seems lacking to you, try animating it in some way

• if you’re not comfortable animating in photoshop or similar software here’s a site that will make simple gifs based on your input of individual frames

• symmetry isn’t as important as dan wants it to be. off center shit is cool

• alignment is actually important though. if it’s deliberately off center that’s fine but don’t be sloppy

• don’t trash anything. just don’t. keep a graveyard of abandoned projects. you’ll end up revisiting them months later and be able to scrap elements or ideas from your dead projects

• you can’t force inspiration but you can surround yourself with it. follow art blogs, design blogs, or whatever inspires you

• write down your ideas if you don’t have time to follow through right at that moment

So that Trigedasleng business...

I’m sure all you cinnamon rolls who follow me have seen my sudden bombardment with it at 2 am, along with a bunch of The 100 stuff. You know, Carmilla hiatus and all, I need to keep myself occupied, yeah?

Anyway! So fun fact: @dedalvs created the language in The 100 and it is totally usable! Which is fun for reasons like:

  • Throwing shade aloud around people.
  • Spilling tea around people.
  • Swearing around small children.
  • Looking really impressive speaking another language.
  • You sound like Lexa. I mean, look at her. Have you seen her?
  • Here’s Lexa

Originally posted by danasoupchef

Who doesn’t want to talk like a joken raccoon commander? But just learning it alone is meh; you could do so much better. You could join me and a bunch of people to chat about the show and learn the language. And a lot of random bullshit also happens so it’s chill af and look at aaaaaaaall the friends you can make.

Originally posted by jdelgadoo

So if you want to join us in our den of sin FUN, send a message to:

Tell them “Empiheda” sent you and you’ll get a lovely 20% off coupon on your next gif request from me! Which is actually $0 anyway so it’s honestly completely worthless but think about all the friendship and language you’ll gain!

Originally posted by timetravlin13

anonymous asked:

Jimin + namjoon

such a lowkey brotp that needs more love cuz they’re sososo precious and no that’s not just cuz i ship jimin with every member… 

*coughs violently*

anyways here are some of my favorite minjoon moments :)

i feel like jimin’s just the type that just makes people want to hug him like the members just can’t keep their hands off of him :’) jimin’s so cuddly + namjoon’s so open and yet a bit shy = CAN IT GET ANY CUTER

Originally posted by yongguksfingers

omg namjoon’s like “son please stop it, no, no aegyo i sAID- gdi you’re still so adorable though- I SAID STOP IT”

Originally posted by a-little-too-obsessed

the dance master and dance monster just jamming out in sync



Originally posted by agustd

height difference height difference height difference 

Originally posted by ricemonster22

“hyung, hyu- nAMJOON HYUNG HEY- ok shhhh calm- HYUNG”

(source: @yoonmin)

namjoon sososo happily and giddily approves of jimin’s cuteness and I APPROVE OF THIS ADORABLE MOMENT

(source: @koiyomi)


(source: @jimins-bootae)

they even did a crazy v app ep together just jumping around and flailing their air guitars crazily :’) they’re so playful and fun AS;DLFKJASD;LF

not to mention this to-die-for interaction LOOK AT HOW JOONIE ADORINGLY STARES AT HIS SON AS;LDFJASL;DFJAS 

but this has got to be hands down my most favorite minjoon moment

remember when jimin was crying because they just won their very first win ever with I Need U and they were all super emotional but then what does the leader say in the midst of all the celebratory chaos?

i’m sure he and the other members know fully well just how much jimin struggles with his image, with not being “good enough,” with being the member that most korean netizens look down on, and just with his self esteem in general. but joonie’s always looking out for jimin, making sure he knows that he’s not only wanted, but needed in bangtan. he does such an amazing job of taking care of the members and in return receives so much love for them too. 

minjoon is underrated but soso special. pls love them

EDITED! sorry the gifs weren’t showing up D:

Alright this had been sitting around unfinished on my computer for a couple of months now so I decided to get off my ass and finish it. (it was all lined and the flats were done but I just did not want to do the shading)

Idfk why I wanted to do this except the fact that @therealjacksepticeye and @wiishu are the most precious, adorable couple ever and I wanted to draw fluff! Plus I couldn’t get the idea of Jack with one of those cool eyeball bow clip things in his hair out of my head. It’s even a septiceye!

TL;DR Septiishu is the cutest thing ever and I needed to draw it so here have this.

Also I’m gonna be dumping at least five pieces of art on here around Christmas day because I absolutely loaded myself up with Secret Santas to keep myself busy this year during winter break between semesters at school. It’ll keep me from falling into a creative slump, at least. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

I’m a dating nightmare.

It’s been ten days since I’ve posted on here. Ten long days of working, exploring, travelling, keeping myself busy, and kind of dating a boy.

So I haven’t really mentioned him on here, and I guess that’s because I’m scared that he will read it. Who wants to date someone and read their inner thoughts so easily? It can ruin everything, so I didn’t. 

Things are going well. We are at that stage where we are not a thing, but we are totally a thing because it’s been about 8 weeks. What’s with that? It’s always such an awkward phase but no one wants to be the one to say anything, so we don’t.

All you need to know is that he is absolutely one of the nicest people I’ve ever met. That’s everything I see in him. Not an insidious bone in his body, which is more than I can say for most of the people I’ve dated. Let’s hope it goes well because I kind of like him. Only time will tell.

What was this post about again? Oh! Yes, I’m bat shit crazy when it comes to dating. I completely freak myself out and over analyse every situation. I’m always second guessing myself, which I can only put down to being previously screwed over (many times). I just don’t want to get hurt again. I don’t have the energy for it.

Should I post a photo of this guy? Maybe, if you’re lucky…

Hi guys!

If school has started for any of you, I hope it’s going well!

For me, it hasn’t. Which is the reason I decided I needed to write this post.

I realize I haven’t been as active on here, and I have a lot of messages I still need to answer. 

I’m not ignoring you. I’m not loosing interest in phan. And I’m not leaving.

School for some reason has been 99% more stressful this year than any other…and right now I don’t know why. Even the smallest levels of stress are causing me to crack and my thoughts have been rather dark as of late. 

I’m fine though, I just need to keep my head above water and work towards a better day. I’m hoping that day will be soon (and for anyone feeling the same as myself, it’ll be soon for you as well!)  ^^ 

I just wanted to let you know this is why I’ve been less active recently. I’m hoping that will change once I start feeling better and can get a grip on everything in my life.

Again, I’m not leaving. I’m not even taking a break. I’m just letting you know why I might be a tad bit behind with reblogging/posting/or responding to stuff. (Probably a few reblogs a day and if I have an open day on the weekend I’ll reply to you all ya’ll lovely people cx) 

I hope you stick around and give me your patience while I figure everything out <3

I love every single one of you, and I can’t wait to be back in full swing very soon :)


Wow, this blows.

I tried to post another song from Concessions just now, and fucking Tumblr informed me that it’s copyrighted, and then suggested I use the Spotify link instead. I know it’s copyrighted, assholes: I sang at the weddings of the guys who hold the copyright, and will see them tonight at rehearsal. Fuck you.

Ironic. I’ve been on the record a long time as despising streaming services. Their inescapable role in the ecosystem combined with the ridiculous pittances they pay artists is driving creators out of this business every day. I don’t need the money—I’m just a musical dilettante at this point, whoring myself out in other, much more sickening ways for my keep. That these fuckers have so transformed the landscape that I now can’t even post MY OWN FUCKING MUSIC here is fucking killing me.

This is how I feel about today. You know its not going to be your best day when you realize you just need a hug and its not even 9:30 a.m. Don’t get me wrong, today wasn’t terrible but it wasn’t great either. 

I’ve been a little in my head lately. Words weighing heavy and lingering in my brain longer than normal. Dealing with a bit of impostor syndrome at work too, but what can you do. I was also super busy at work, but I think the above affected me more than anything else.  

When I managed to dig myself out of the work keeping me in my office and get into the hallways and classrooms, I felt a whole lot better (even when I was dealing with behavior issues). 

Here are some good things from today because that’s what I need to focus on. As I plot these out, I’m realizing that today really wasn’t so bad:  

+ I didn’t eat any chocolate, cookies, or any kind of extra sugar today. Stuck to my planned meals and snacks 100%. Sure, this is small potatoes kind of stuff, but it feels good to feel in control of this right now. 

+ A kindergartener told me she liked my dress. Then she told me she liked my belt. After which, she looked at me from the top of my head to the tips of my boots and told me she liked “my everything.” Some laughing ensued and a big thank you hug. 

+ I was chatting with a pre-k student who was eating her dry Lucky Charms after school. She showed me a blue moon marshmallow, popped it into her mouth, and told me it tasted like me. Thoroughly confused, I asked why she thought that. “Because it tasted like chocolate and you’re made of chocolate!” she said so matter-of-factly. Apparently, having brown hair means you’re made of chocolate. She and I agreed she was made out of sunshine since she had blonde hair. Delightfully random interaction. 

+ More miles run and another lifting session under my belt. I didn’t want to go tonight, but I felt better once I got started. It feels great to have a purpose in the gym again!

But tomorrow is Wednesday and its all downhill from there, right? Plus, I’m ducking out of work early tomorrow to get my oil changed and run to our central admin building. This should mean getting home much earlier than normal. Woohoo!