and i miss you:(

Is it love if it hurts?

-It’s heartbreak.


If I had the chance to speak with you for one last time I’d tell you how much I miss you. I don’t remember you too well anymore. The sound of your voice, the memories we’ve created, your face, all of it has become hazy. I was young when you departed from this world and I didn’t understand much of it. I couldn’t find the tears when I realised you were no longer here. I couldn’t feel any pain. To this day I don’t feel anything other than a sense of longing. I miss you so much. You kept our family together. You made every day full of adventures and excitement. You were more of a father to me than my biological one ever was. If I could talk with you one last time, I would tell you I miss you. The house we live in feels so empty these days. I wish I could hear your voice for one last time. I wish I could hear you sing “What a Wonderful World”. I didn’t fancy that song too much as a child but now I cherish it. Listening to it makes it feel like you’re standing right beside me humming along. I wish you were still in this world but I know you’re somewhere watching over me. I hope I’ve made you proud.
—  If I could see you one last time… // S.T.

i still feel the need to hold a pillow
as i fall asleep, but whenever i do
i’m always wishing it were you

and i’m always missing your fingertips
your soft touch, i’d kiss the polished nails
that sailed my skin, just to praise the brush

but now i’m just paint chips in your mouth
i guess

i’m sorry for whatever awful taste i’ve left
but if you love something you have to
let it chew you up and spit you out
i guess

once my caged bird sings it can’t digress
from songs about the love you can’t digest

if i could tear my heart from my chest
i would rip this bird from my ribcage
to see if i could find a way to set it free
or maybe i’d just break it’s fucking neck
because the songs won’t leave me be

it’s just kind of hard for me
i guess i mean i miss you
i still crave your soft touch
and i still want to kiss you
i’m sorry i sort of love you
i never really meant to
but when i hold my pillow
i know i can’t forget you
and when i hold my pencil
you’re where i always drift to

Every day I dream
with my eyes open,
that you will one day
save me from myself.

That my phone will ring
and it will be your name
that pops up on my screen,
telling me you miss me.

That there will be a knock
on my door, and when
I go to open it,
it will be you standing there.

And maybe,
like in the movies,
your skin will be glistening
with droplets of rain,

and your breath will be heavy from
your desperation to arrive here,
from all the pain you’ve held in
until now.

Because although I’ve lived
with the belief that you no longer care,
that I am nothing to you,
I was fooled.

And you’ll step into my home
without asking permission
for what you know
you already have.

Our skin will touch
and electricity will crackle between
our bodies and we’ll soak in
your rain and my tears.

But this is still
only a dream
and I am still awake
and you are still not here.

—  TÅW

R E M O R S E : a mix for the cosmic

for the lonely and the wise; for the sky at night
for the powerful and the ancient; for the blazing bright

featuring tracks from journey, ori and the blind forest, inception, the village, and interstellar

[playmoss // spotify // youtube]

“A volte vorrei parlarti
parlarti di quando eravamo inseparabili
E poi vorrei mancarti
Ma non ti manco
E vorrei guardarti negl'occhi e sorriderti
Ti sorriderei come i bimbi
Cercare i tuoi occhi in tutti e non trovarli mai
I vuoti dentro e la mancanza
Vorrei stringerti forte e non lasciarti andare
Mi stringerai?
Ti aspetterò dove ci siamo lasciate.”

akihiko has most definitely keeps a cricket farm and gutloads them with the highest protein/calcium diet he can afford. the local pet store figures he owns about 60 lizards. he owns 0. he eats them all himself.