and i lost

reality

my body fakes a smile so everyone thinks i’m fine
i’ll even laugh once in a while too
but even with this fake façade and persona that i play
i’m not getting better and im not okay

i cry at night because i’m too deep in my thoughts
and i’m a hypocrite for telling people that they shouldn’t cry
i’m so bent on helping others that i can’t help myself
my mental state is broken and my world is shattering in front of me

and to those i talk to and hang out with
i’m sorry i’m not fun
i’m normally just thinking of the worse that’s yet to come
or what tonight’s miserable thought will be

i haven’t been happy in months and i don’t know what it’s like
being genuinely okay doesn’t seem right
and even if something good happens i’m too sad to care
i may talk about it like i’m happy but i’m actually just scared

i’m an antisocial mess with a extrovert life
talking to everyone that knows me
and making them perceive i’m alright
and when i make a joke about how sad i am
that’s me saying what’s wrong and i hope you listen

speaking of IKEA the rumours are true… i damn well thought it was all an exaggeration, some kind of hyperbolic meme but i swear to god it’s all true

when i was younger (like 12/13) my mum decided she wanted to get some furniture so she’s like we’ll go to IKEA, and i admit i was kinda curious so i went along with her. she drives us out of the city and into this vast parking lot and there in the middle of it is this windowless rectangle, like i’m talking it was massive man, reminded me of some huge temple to some unfeeling god… like i just got those chills, you know? something wasn’t right. i knew that whatever was in there would change me, that i could not gaze upon whatever was in that faceless bunker without the heavy weight of the knowledge weighing down on me for the rest of my life.

we go in and there’s like, this entrance hall, and nothing but a pair of escalators. both of them go down. i’m… really not sure about this at this point but my mum really wanted that easy to assemble yin-yang table or whatever so we descend. as we pass under the floor i’m… fucking blown away. i cannot adequately describe to you the vastness of this cavern. i couldn’t see the walls. you know when you take a boat out into the ocean and you go out far enough you can’t see land? well it was like that, but with endless kitchen displays and kitschy bedroom layouts. i was stunned. my mind was physically breaking trying to understand the size of this place and equate it to the building i had seen outside. i was gawking around so much that i nearly fell off the end of the escalator. just… fuck. i have never been in a man made structure that big since. i don’t even think that structure was man made. 

so we’re walking around and there are just these endless weaving paths through all the displays. they don’t just stick things on shelves here, they like, showcase them by building hundreds of mini living rooms and kitchens and stuff. it’s actually pretty cool, like, i can see why people spend thousands in this place. i no longer know where the escalators are and i’m not entirely sure which way is up but there are some cool fuzzy throw rugs i’d probably buy if i wasn’t like, 13. i come back around this kitchen display that i can see clearly to the other side of and my mum has just vanished. like i’m talking there’s no sign of her at all, even though there’s nothing she could have hidden behind and i’m reasonably sure i’d be able to see her if she was in the general area. she’s just nowhere to be found. i hang about for a bit but she doesn’t come back, and i’m now aware that exploration teams have probably died trying to locate the walls of this store so i’m starting to worry.

i get the bright idea to text her, and there’s no fucking phone signal. of course there’s not. i’m in a fucking leviathan of a basement located under the concrete and steel sarcophagus of whatever reptilian overlord ordered the construction of this place. by now i think i’ve just accepted my fate because i’m wandering around and i’m genuinely nervous at this point but i’m still stopping to look at little accessories for an office i don’t have, or mentally planning out my future kid’s room or whatever. i’m like “oh god i’m gonna die, i’m never gonna see my mum again– oh SHIT, that is a cute stuffed rat”. i’m just wandering around aimlessly, looking in vain for any landmarks, and suddenly i stumble across… a restaurant?

no word of a lie, hidden between displays and stacks of cushions is a restaurant. at first i’m so glad to see actual living people that i don’t realise what an odd location for a restaurant this is. i’m really fucking hungry now, too. i briefly consider what the ramifications of eating food in this realm might be but then i decide fuck it, these strangers are my people now, i’ve clearly been assimilated into the lost tribe of wandering IKEA visitors that i understand every one of these stores to have. i get some swedish meatballs because tradition seems to dictate that and i sit down and i eat my food and i watch as, every few minutes or so, another bewildered and ravenous traveller joins us. i’m sitting near where most people come in and i feel like the unofficial st peter of this place, greeting lost souls and easing their passing into their new life. i’m kind of growing shockingly used to my new fate. i’ve all but accepted it when my mum appears. she’s holding like, a million cushions, and says it’s time to go. she doesn’t seem worried in the slightest that she lost me for what i estimate to be around three days. maybe time works differently in different parts of the store. i get up and follow her and i realise i have not actually seen anywhere to purchase items from, but mum somehow has a receipt. whatever. i’ve stopped trying to make sense of things.

halfway through our trek it seems the place is closing for the day, or at least switching to night mode, where i assume a vast array of new temporal oddities are let lose on the unsuspecting public. employees appear from seemingly nowhere, standing at assigned areas and pointing in the direction of the next employee, who points at the next one, and so on and so forth until we’re somehow ascending the escalator (a different one? it must be, but i can’t see the other ones even from a height). there are suddenly loads of people, like the escalator is full and more are crowded at the bottom. i don’t know where they all came from. where i walked in IKEA, i walked alone.

when we get out of the building it’s night time, and mum’s talking about going back when she can borrow the bigger car because there’s some shelving she likes. i feel the building’s eyeless gaze on me as we approach the car, and i don’t look back.

@kaxpha for the Lost Lance!AU

I have a whole shit ton of headcannons about Blue and Lance for this AU and I honestly don’t know how much will match with what you already have so I’m going to put it under a cut.

Keep reading

(“Pepbee” that’s a new one, hahaha~) Thank you so much! We’ll keep doing our best!

So glad to hear that! We love seeing fan art so we’re happy to spread the love. :D

Secret admirers! 

Thank you! We put a lot of time and hard work into it, so I’m glad the quality is up to your standards, haha~

Ellipsis only loves me for my skeleton. ; A ;

Thank you! Estersand gets all the credit for the design (originally made for nochocolate) but we worked really hard on the art, colors, and other adjustments for this blog. Feedback like this is great to hear!

Glad to have you! This comic was inspired by a short fic Ellipsis wrote. We had been speculating on what Chara would be like if they didn’t die so young, but Ellipsis’ fic gave this premise a true story.

Bettina introduced a lot of people to our story; we’re so grateful! Good to have you!

i’ll be ur angle or ur devil

Thank you both! We worked really hard to fit Chara’s dialogue into Asriel’s canon lines in a way that felt natural. Some of the lines are phrased a little oddly so it was a bit harder than anticipated. Ellipsis really worked her magic.

(Regarding the last page of the interlude.) That would make a great save point message.

Glad you had fun! Eruto and I have lots more streams coming up in the future, so keep an eye out!

Each page takes quite a long time! Off the top of my head, here’s how long everything typically takes.

  • Writing/editing the script and thumbnails: 1 hour
  • Initial sketch: 2-4 hours
  • Lining: 6-10 hours
  • Backgrounds: 2-3 hours
  • Color blocking: 2-3 hours
  • Lighting, Lettering, Effects, other adjustments: 3-5 hours

Total per page: 16-26 hours per page. That’s 32-52 hours each week! Some pages take much longer if we try something new, but we’re always looking for ways to speed up and streamline our process.

And I love you, mysterious anon! Keep it cool, keep it fresh! >;D

Shoutout to all the people who grew up dreaming big only to have chronic illness take your dreams away

anonymous asked:

Headcanons for IDW Rodimus, Drift, Swerve, Brainstorm, and Fort Max reaction if it's their Creation Day and bot s/o doesn't show up to the party... but when they go to their habsuite to check on them later after the party, they find their bot s/o is really upset and a mess covered in paper, glue, paint, glitter, and bows trying to wrap a really awesome present they totally wanted and accidentally broke in their attempts to wrap it and thinks they ruined their creation day

Rodimus notices you’re not at the party, but he figures you’re probably getting ready to spend some special birthday alone-time with him ;) ;) When you open the door to your habsuite looking like a craft store threw up on you he’s surprised, but he thinks it’s hilarious. You pout and smooches your glittery face with a chuckle. He tugs at a bow, suggesting that you could be his present.

Drift isn’t much for parties anyway, so he sneaks away to check on you when you down’t show up. When you sadly show him the remains of his present he gives you a soft smile and thanks you. Instead of the original present you draw a big, luxurious bath for the two of you, since you’re a mess and Drift adores bubble baths. This totally beats a party. 

Swerve wanted to go find you, but someone said you’d be there later. He ends up losing track of time then rushing to your room to see if you’re okay. His jaw drops when he sees you all decked out in craft supplies. Halfway through your explanation of what went wrong he tackle hugs you, covering you in kisses thank you this is the best present no one has ever done anything like this for me thank you thank you. It doesn’t even matter that the present broke. It’s on a display shelf in his room; he thinks of you every time he sees it.

Brainstorm is drunk when he comes home. He tells you look super smokin’ hot in all that glitter. He stumbles in, falls over, and his optics land on his broken present. He starts crying. Immediately you say you’re sorry, it was an accident, but when he looks up at you he’s obviously smiling. “I love it,” he says. “It’s the best present. If I could stand up I’d hug you.”

Fort Max is too worried about you to party. He excuses himself rather early on in the celebration. The first thing he does when he sees you is ask if you’re alright. He freaks out when you start crying about ruining his birthday, scooping you into his arms. He assures you that you didn’t ruin anything; he feels honored that you’d do all this for him. He helps you get cleaned up and takes you back to the party for a slow dance. You decide to keep one of ribbons on.

K: Lost Small World | Saruhiko & Misaki

Okay so the OS I told you about is probably gonna turn into a multi-chaptered fic because I have no chill and it’s not even close to done…

Oops. 🙈