and i laugh everytime i see it

You really fucked me up, you know that? I constantly type messages and go to press send, and then remember you don’t actually care. I constantly looked down your street everytime I drive by in case I see the tiniest bit of you, even though I know you wouldn’t do the same. I constantly look at photos of us and remind myself of memories, and I know that you wouldn’t dare to even think of them. I constantly remember every detail about you from your blue eyes to your horrible laugh, and you don’t even give me a second thought. That’s the difference between me and you, that was always the difference between me and you. I treasured every possible moment I could because I thought it was forever, you didn’t because you thought of me as an object that would pass time.
—  I’m tired of feeling this way
Pick Up Lines (Spideypool Quick Fic)

So this… this got ridiculous lol
For my anon prompt: is that a phone in your back pocket because your ass is calling me

Peter is Andrew Garfield/ Wade is Ryan Reynolds
********************

“Hey did it hurt?”

“Huh?” Peter looked up from brushing the dirt off his suit to see Deadpool peering down at him from the fire escape in the dirty alley.

“Oh. Hey Wade. Did what hurt? Oh the–” he motioned to his dirty suit. “Just took a tumble through a construction yard chasing someone. No biggie.”

“No, I meant did it hurt when you fell from Heaven.” Wade corrected, leering at Spider-Man from behind his mask.

“Good grief.” Peter muttered and turned away. “Don’t you have anything better to do than spy on me and drop terrible pick up lines?”

Well.” Wade dropped onto the ground next to him. “I’d definitely have something better to do if you’d go out with me.”

“I told you no dates.” Peter said firmly. “My identity is very inportant to me, and you need to respect that. Besides–” and now he was grateful his mask covered his blush. “–besides you just like me because I’m covered in spandex.”

“I resent that!” Wade sounded horrified. “While I will admit to staring for hours at your…at your….” his head tilted to the side exaggeratedly, dropping to stare at Peter’s ass. “Sorry, what was I saying?”

“You were agreeing that we’d never date.” Peter said firmly, and shot a web towards the sky, shooting up and out of the alley before Deadpool could say anything else.

“Damn.” He chuckled and scratched at his head. “Spidey playing hard to get.”
*****************
Wade landed with a thump on the roof next to Peter and tossed him a chimi.

“Thank god.” Peter mumbled and shoved his mask up to just above his nose so he could eat. “Thank you so much.”

“No worries.” Wade lifted his own mask to take a bite of his food, and Peter made sure not to look. He didn’t ever look, knowing that if Wade thought for one second that he was staring, the mask would come down and this relaxed moment between them would end.

They were happening more and more– post patrol, both of them starving after a night of fighting crime. Wade usually disappeared for a few minutes and reappeared with food and they would sit and eat together before going their separate ways.

It was nice, for all of Wade’s bluster and bullshit, he actually enjoyed the early morning quiet like this. Both fully in their suits, both still coming down from the high of fighting… just hanging out watching the sun rise.

It was… nice.

And Peter wasn’t going to do anything to spoil it.

“Got you a name tag.” Wade said casually inbetween bites of food.

“What now?” Peter asked, confused.

“Got you a name tag.” Wade reached into the bag next to him and threw a giant handful of white packets in Peter’s face.

“What the–damn it Wade!” Peter pushed them off his legs. “Why are you throwing sugar at—”

Wade started laughing.

“Are you kidding me?” Peter finally asked and Wade laughed harder. “Are you kidding me with this?”

“Aw, come on sugar!” Wade made kissy faces at him and Peter just rolled his eyes.
**********************

Keep reading

Neighbor AU Prompts
  • I heard a noise in the middle of the night. I took my baseball bat and OH MY GOD you’re my neighbor and your kitten escaped I’M SO SORRY THAT I ALMOST KILLED YOU
  • You moved next door recently and JESUS CHRIST have you ever heard of headphones?! What kind of music is that?!
  • You’re new and now you live across my apartment. I can’t belive you decided to meet me right now, I have a bad hungover and i’m only wearing my underwear. I’m sorry if i seem like an ass to you, I swear i’m not it’s just a bad time.
  • Your window is across mine and I swear I’m not a pervert but I think you’re  hot. One day you decide to dance to one of my favourite songs. You can’t dance so I laugh and HOLY SHIT both windows are open and you heard me. I wish I was invisible.
  • You decided to throw a party and your door was open, my cat got in and now i’m trying to find him. Could you quit shouting back ‘POLO’ everytime I call ‘MARCO’.  It stoped being funny after the tird time.
  • I’m clumsy af and I can’t make the stairs without tripping. It’s even worse as i’m carrying a box. Of course i fall down and hey I didn’t see you there. Thank god it was just weird halloween stuff and not glass  but you end up with fake web and spiders on your face. I think one of them is actually real DO I SCREAM AND RUN OR WHAT??
  • You’ve been my neighbor for almost three years but every time you come home drunk you try to walk into my flat. It’s 2 am and i’m tired… Wait are you singing ‘love is an open door’ from that frozen movie?
You will think of me every day until the day that you die. You will see pieces of me in everyone you know. You will be reminded of me everytime someone kisses you, or holds you, or laughs with you, and you will be forced to face the fact that I had no other choice but to walk away. You will always wonder what if, and that’s all you will have, because that’s all I left you with.
—  DecemberSmoke, excerpt from original free write “what if?”

anonymous asked:

Okay you gotta stop posting tbe giant river otter because I love otters but that thibg is making me laugh and want to cry everytime I see it and I am emotionally conflicted

This is what their babies look like

You really fucked me up, you know that? I constantly type messages and go to press send, and then remember you don’t actually care. I constantly looked down your street everytime I drive by in case I see the tiniest bit of you, even though I know you wouldn’t do the same. I constantly look at photos of us and remind myself of memories, and I know that you wouldn’t dare to even think of them. I constantly remember every detail about you from your blue eyes to your horrible laugh, and you don’t even give me a second thought. That’s the difference between me and you, that was always the difference between me and you. I treasured every possible moment I could because I thought it was forever, you didn’t because you thought of me as an object that would pass time.
—  I’m tired of feeling this way