and i just want to hold her and make it all go away

He’s the kind of guy that could make the Mona Lisa smile
With all her teeth;
Make Van Gogh wish he’d kept his second ear just to hear the way he laughs
Like pollination;
And the mirror sighs when he walks away
And the open doors are always
Begging him to stay
And the bus stop hopes
No buses stop;
And I want to kiss his neck
And his knuckles when they’re covered by his thumb.
He’s just like me because
He hates letting go
So we walk with ten fingers between us
Holding inside jokes
About how we’ll have to share a coffin
Cause we’ll die this way
but he’s too beautiful to bury;
And I think those three words are too odd;
So even when I want to;
I say something else instead like,
I’m glad you’re not dead; and I hope you stay that way as long as I do; and your smile is like an oasis; and you make me feel like a hot air balloon in the Bermuda triangle; and when you’re gone I’m a missing poster; a face on the milk box; and it scares me that you put your milk before your cereal; but I still want to have breakfast with you every morning; and I’m not good at labelling things because there are too many words to choose from; but if this is something; if this something had a name; what would you call it?
Would you call it love?
—  He’s everything I’ve ever wanted; but you can’t lose what you don’t have; so I’m afraid to call him mine // Ceres

I just want to talk forever about Moana. I need to go see it again, but I’ve been listening to the soundtrack all morning and I have new thoughts I need to put down. 

For one thing, Moana’s agency. Every single thing she does in this movie is her choice. Early on, Grandma Tala lets her know that if she stays and does what her dad wants and puts her rock on the pile (which I fucking *adore* btw) then she’ll support her. She knows she was chosen to be the ocean’s champion, but Moana has to make that decision for herself. When Moana decides it’s too much and she doesn’t want to do it anymore, she holds the heart out and the ocean takes it back. She doesn’t just fling it away. The ocean accepts that it’s her choice. When she changes her mind, the ocean doesn’t just plop the stone back in her hand like all the times it plopped her back on the boat. She has to swim down there and get it. When Heihei is captured, she’s the one who fights and goes after him. When Maui tells her to stay put so he can get his hook, she climbs right up past him and jumps in without being pushed. Everything she does is her choice

The other is the emphasis on knowing. If you listen to the lyrics of the songs, it’s always “we KNOW the way.” “Come what may, I KNOW the way.” “Do you KNOW who you are?” “This is not who you are. You KNOW who you are.” How Far I’ll Go is literally filled with lines about not knowing and then the movie is about discovery, but it’s not “I’ll find the way” because it’s intrinsic. It’s internal. It’s about listening to yourself. “I am everything I’ve learned and more” It’s about her heritage, her culture, her descent from voyagers and this inherent knowledge she possesses if she just listens. I think that’s why Know Who You Are the second half of I Am Moana are my favorites. They’re both about listening to yourself, trusting yourself, and being confident that you know who you are and who you are meant to be. 

I'm Falling Apart, I'm Barely Breathing (Barely Holding on to You)

Rated: T

Pairing: Barry/Iris, Westallen

Words: 2,775

Summary: 3x10 speculation. A continuation of what I want to see in the scene where Barry tells Iris about seeing her murdered in the future. Angst. 

Read on AO3


I saw Savitar murder you.

He’s leaning against the wall and she notes the way his voice slightly trembles and she can tell he’s trying to be strong for her. And God, this wasn’t at all what she was expecting when she thought he was hiding something from her. She glances down at the ground, away from him; she doesn’t want to see the guilt and pain in his eyes because all she can hear is the word murder.

Murder. Murder. Murder.

I saw Savitar murder you.

The words go round and round in her head and she still can’t quite make sense of them. Why - how? It’s impossible. They got rid of Savitar, they defeated the bad guy, she had said so to Barry during their small Christmas party. And she thinks of the way he had seemed out of it and she realizes he knew then, he knew and that’s why he was acting the way he was.

She wants to tell him that he’s crazy, that there’s no way in hell what he saw was real. That they are safe. That’s she’s safe. But one look at his face tells her that he’s telling the truth, that he’s absolutely serious. Of course he is. Barry wouldn’t lie to her about something like this. There’s helplessness and heartbreak in his eyes and she knows this is real.

Oh god.

I’m going to die.

And that’s when the tears fill her eyes and she tries desperately not to let them escape. At her sides she can feel her hands shaking and she clasps them together tightly in front of her in attempt to hide it from Barry. She doesn’t know why she’s trying to hold it together right now, she knows she doesn’t have to be strong she knows Barry won’t mind. And it’s not that, really, it’s that she’s afraid to fall apart. She’s afraid that if she does, if she lets the first tear go she won’t be able to stop, that she won’t recover. And she has to. She has to get past this and think about the future. And that’s fucking difficult when all she can think about is the fact that she dies she doesn’t even know-

“Iris,” his voice breaks through her thoughts and she raises her eyes to his. He steps forward towards her away from the wall. And she realizes that she’s been silent for a while and he’s waiting for her to say something, anything.

“Wh-when?”

His green eyes are begging her not to ask any more questions, begging her not to make him say it. But she needs to know. Needs to know how long she has before she- no, not going there yet. She doesn’t even want to think it.

“Iris,” he tries again, this time pleading with her.

“Barry, please,” her voice cracks in desperation. “How long until it happens?” she can’t keep the tears out of her voice, but she at least manages not to stutter, to sound a little stronger than she’s feeling. She doesn’t want to be affected by this, but she is. She’s fucking terrified. And the words are out before she can stop them, because he never told her when. Just that Savitar murders her. Maybe not knowing would be better that way she wouldn’t have an expiration date looming over her.

His eyes cut to hers again in one last attempt to see if she’ll take it back. But she won’t.

“Five months.”

Keep reading

PCA Vote Drabble #3

Y'all can blame @bawsanity for this

I hate my life
Hold on to me
And if you ever decide to leave
Then I’ll go
I’ll go
I’ll go


Ginny’s French-braiding her hair when the doorbell rings. She pushes off the couch and goes to answer it, wondering who’s so bold as to drop by unannounced. She’s had her fair share of visitors since It happened, but she’s managed just enough vitriol to make herself a recluse for the past week. She’s not surprised to find Mike on the other side. He’s the only person who won’t leave her alone. He won’t let her settle into bitterness no matter how much she wants to.

He’s dressed for once, that tattered leather jacket of his still around despite popular demand to the contrary. And carrying a big leather duffel bag. His face is its usual unsmiling self and Ginny can’t help but grin at him. She doesn’t smile much these days but the sight of him does it for her. “Hey old man. You didn’t bring me anything to eat?”

He shakes his head, gestures to come inside. “I just stopped by to tell you goodbye.”

“Somebody shipping you off to the old folks’ home?” She jokes to keep her stomach from digesting itself. He’s been officially retired since It happened and she’s teased him about stealing her thunder.

He shakes his head, smirking only briefly before his expression returns to its usual seriousness. “No, Gin. Listen to me. I’m leaving. I can’t do this anymore, be here. And don’t tell me I’m quitting because I gave this town almost two decades of my life. The rest is mine.”

Ginny looks at the bag again. “What do you mean by leaving? Where are you going?”

He shrugs. “First stop is Jamaica. After that, I don’t know.”

Her eyes dart to the bag once more then back to his face. He hasn’t cracked a smile yet. “You’re serious.”

He nods. “It’s time for something different, Baker. I don’t know what but…”

Ginny moves around him and shuts the door. “When are you leaving?”

“Flight’s at 6. I just wanted to tell you goodbye. I texted Blip that I was taking off for a while, but I wanted to tell you in person since…”

He can’t go without letting her know. He thought about it, but after everything that had happened between him, he needs to see those eyes just one more time. Ginny nods then turns and heads into her bedroom. He drops his bag and follows without a thought, hoping she isn’t going to cry. He’ll never be able to leave her if she cries.

But she’s not thrown across her bed sobbing. He finds her in her closet, pulling things off her clothing rack. In an open suitcase on the floor are her favorite trainers. She tosses clothes on top of them then moves to a chest of drawers and begins removing underwear. “Baker, what are you doing?”

“I’m coming with you,” she answers as if it’s that simple.

“What?”

She stops, turns to look at him.

“I’m done, Mike. Baseball’s the only thing I’ve ever known how to do and I can’t even do it anymore. What am I supposed to do? Take a pity position at ESPN? Spend the rest of my life being a trivia question? Maybe do a stint on Dancing with the Stars? I can’t go out like that.” She shakes her head, goes back to packing. “Besides, if we were somewhere else…”

She doesn’t have to finish. It’s been on his mind since he called to tell her he wouldn’t be back and she quietly admitted the same. She wasn’t sure what hurt more: her arm or the knowledge that her groundbreaking career was bookended by a lackluster start and Tommy Johns surgery. And this thing–this strange, intense almost–has been lingering between them since his trade fell through. Somewhere else–somewhere on a beach where no one knew them–their almost could become a definitely.

So Ginny throws everything she needs into a bag and changes out of her sweats into jeans and leather jacket of her own. She undoes her half a braid and pulls her hair into a loose topknot then slips on wayfarers not unlike Mike’s trademark pair. Mike watches all of this from her bed until she turns to look at him. “Shouldn’t you call and get me a ticket?”

He shakes his head. “I’ve got two first class seats.”

“Two?”

“I hate sitting beside people,” he replies with a shrug. He smiles. “Present company excluded.”

She closes her suitcase, sends Evelyn a quick text about sneaking away to clear her head, and they leave her hotel through the service entrance in the back of the kitchen. Ginny hands the cook who lets them out a twenty. “You didn’t see us.”

He nods and shuts the door behind them. Ginny doesn’t know that he’s fresh off the boat from Puerto Rico, isn’t even entirely sure who they are. They drive to the airport and Mike uses a little charm to change the name on one of his seats for Ginny. Ginny’s relieved when the use of their full first names inexplicably prevents the airport employee from making the connection.

Eight hours later, they’re lying on a blindingly white beach, using the setting sun to dry them from their dip in the ocean. It was their first stop, their luggage still untouched in their tiny bungalow. Mike reaches over, traces the almost invisible surgical star. “I can’t believe you’re here.”

“Me either,” she replies.

He frowns. “Do you wanna go back?”

She shakes her head, a smile spreading across her face. “Never.”

Remember to protect yourself too

Across the room they make eye contact, Lena sighs heavily then gestures with her chin for Kara to follow her. Leading her through hallways and past doors, they reach her room, Lena holds open the door then closes it behind them. They both stand facing each other, Lena lets out another slow breath of air and leans back on the door behind her, crossing her arms.

“Want to tell me what this is about?” Kara demands, trying to sound stern but her soft eyes give her away.

“You don’t know?”

“Rao, Lena, no, I don’t. Every time I go out and save all of National City I just get disapproving looks from you. Every. Time. I try to do my best, I really do but how much more do you want me to do? You may not always believe that I can do it, but I always do, don’t I? I have to do this, don’t you understand? Is it too much to ask you to be proud of me, just once?”

At this, Lena stands up from leaning on the door and looks as if to step forward, but hesitates.

“You think I’m upset with you for saving the city?” Lena asks quietly, looking at the floor now. “You think I am disappointed in you, that I am not proud of you?”

Kara remains quiet, her eyes on Lena’s face, trying to judge the emotion.

“Do you even know what you mean to me, Kara?” Lena’s voice begins to quiver. “I am not upset with you for saving hundreds of people daily, I am never disappointed, and I am always proud of you. It’s just-I just, everytime you go out there I am afraid. Afraid you won’t come back, afraid I’ll lose you. I know how strong you are but I never want to see a day where you are outmatched, I am always just so afraid, Kara,” Lena’s voice cracks on Kara’s name at the end. She doesn’t cry, she is never able to, but her eyes gloss over and her lower lips slightly trembles.

Kara is frozen only for a few moments before taking three long strides to envelop Lena in her strong arms, her arms around her shoulders pulling her close and tucking her head in.

“You won’t lose me,” Kara whispers into Lena’s hair. They stand like that for some time in a quiet, sure embrace before Lena pulls back, eyes clearer now but still filled with such emotion that Kara’s heart aches. Wanting her to be okay, wanting them both to be okay, Kara leans forward.

Taking Lena’s face in her hands, she kisses her. She kisses her with enough force to let her know that this is her response, that she will not let anything happen to them, that they will be okay; but also soft enough to show her aching emotion and tenderness for the woman that she cares so much for. Lena wraps her arms around Kara’s waist, pulling her closer. Kara, still holding Lena’s face, runs her thumbs across her soft cheeks and sharp cheekbones. She holds her, hands against Lena’s strong jaw and soft neck, feeling their pulses beat in time. Their assurance and care for each other interprets itself through their kiss, the one holding the other gently but assuredly. Kara pulls back and looks into Lena’s face, who smiles but her lower lip still trembles.

“It will be okay,” Kara says, wanting her to truly be okay. Kara dips forward again and kisses her, holding Lena’s lower lip between her own, easing the trembling and reassuring her as much as she can. Lena pulls away just enough to be able to deepen their kiss. Briefly, she pulls back again, looking into the dazzling blue eyes that hold her heart,

“I know you will always protect me, but remember to protect yourself too, Kara.”

Not A Bad Thing ~ Part One

Originally posted by blissful-reveries

Fairy-tale & AU Series Index

Previous Part || Next Part

Word Count: 5.2K

Please ignores & excuse any errors. There are soo many errors. please ignore them! I will fix it later!


I wasn’t sure where I was going, all I know is that my legs were carrying me away. I could hear Jang Mi calling me from behind, but I didn’t have the heart to turn around to look at her. I just wanted to get out of there. The two cameras hanging over my shoulders, moved lightly against my hips as I quickly exited the venue.

I got strange looks from some of the business men at the convention, but I didn’t care. I wasn’t able to gather my thoughts till I was standing outside, breathing in the warm summer air. I stood there, gasping for air, making me realize I was holding my breath. I placed my hand on my chest, staring up at the dark sky shining with stars.

Cars zoomed by on the road, and the sound of the music from inside was booming. I took deep breaths, trying to calm my nerves as the sounds of the environment around me went on. I placed my hands on my hips, staring at the pavement my feet were standing off.

I’m not sure how long I stood there for, my mind drawing blanks as I reached for thoughts.

I was zoned out. My thoughts were so scrambled, that my mind went blank. I snapped out of the trance, bringing my trembling hand up to my mouth. Awful memories rose for the depths of my mind.


I walked down the crowded hallway, of my middle school trying to avoid the whispers and glancing. It’s always like this. The looks of pity, since I was the victim of Sehun’s constant bullying.

I reached my locker, putting in the code, ready to open it. I pulled on the locker door slightly, and heard a strange noise emit from it.  I opened the locker door completely and saw a bucket hanging from the top of my locker. Due to the fact that I opened the locker door, the bucket tipped, sending purple paint all over my clothing and the floor. I stood there shocked, staring at the mess before me.

It felt like I could almost hear the stares. That’s how they felt. My body tensed as I stared down at the new shirt my mom got me. She spent a lot on this, seeing as our family isn’t exactly rolling in money.

I was pulled out from my thoughts when I heard laughing from my far left. I looked up to see 3 familiar figures.

Baekhyun, Chanyeol and, of course, Sehun. They stood there laughing their butts off as I stood there helpless. Sehun, who had his hands on his knees as he laughed, stood up straight and met my eyes. My eyes were stinging, tearing welling up quickly. Though my vision was blurring slightly, his piercing eyes stood out. That cold, emotionless look that his eyes held.

That expression was only reserved for me. I’ve never seen him look at anyone else like that. It made me feel small. It made me feel even smaller than small.

He reached into a plastic bag that laid and the ground beside him, and took a handful of something. I watched in horror as he walked towards me, and threw the item on me.

Feathers. He threw feathers which were now sticking to my clothes and skin. I bit my lip, trying to keep in my tears. Sehun chuckled humorlessly.

“Aw, are you gonna cry?” He spoke like he was addressing a child, “Don’t waste your tears, lens freak. No one cares.”

He snickered at me before taking a deep breath and speaking loudly, “Everyone gather around, the lens freak is gonna cry. Take your phones out, get your cameras ready, it’s gonna be a sight to see.”

“What is your problem?” I mumbled. Sehun was now saying something to Baekhyun when he heard me speak. He raised an eyebrow at me.

“Did you say something?” Sehun hissed.

I closed my eyes, tears falling down my cheek, “What the hell is your problem? What did I ever do to you? Why are you treating me like this?”

Sehun walked closer to me, stopping right in front of me and smiled. Ugh, that rude smile of his.

“I need to take my stress out of something and that’s you. From the moment I saw you all weak, soft and quiet…it bothered me.” He almost whispered. He was so close, I could smell him. He smelt clean, like a someone who just stepped out the shower. His breath smelt minty. More tears welled up in eyes.

“Such a cry baby. Better go wipe off as much paint as you can before it dries.” He snapped before turning around to leave.

~!~

My hand was trembling as I stood there and chills ran down my back. I took a shaky breath before grabbing one of the cameras over my shoulders. I turned around and entered the building. I’m being paid to take pictures, I can’t let something like this distract me from my work. I’ll just ignore him. If he approaches me again I will avoid him.

I walked back into the big hall, spotting Jang Mi who was in the crowd taking photos. My eyes shifted around the room trying to find some subjects to snap pictures of. Just when I focused on this lovely couple speaking to each other, a figure stepped in front of me and obscured my view.

“Hi,” Sehun said showing a small smile. I stopped in my tracks, wondering what my face expression looked like at that moment. I’m guessing it didn’t look that good because he started off apologizing.

“I’m sorry if I freaked you out or something. My friends tell me to smile more because if I don’t I look scary.” He chuckled softly before rubbing the back of his neck. A gesture that showed nervousness. Ugh, traces of that feelings from earlier was coming back.

“Can I speak to you fo-”

“I have to take pictures, excuse me,” I cut him off, before walking past him to the couple.  I managed to keep my voice in monotone, avoiding eye contact. The camera in my hand began to tremble along with my hand as I walked towards the older couple.

They still stood there chatting to each other. The woman looked a bit irritated, speaking to the man about something. I still brought the camera up to my face, snapping a few photos.

I went around snapping more and more photos. I met with Jang Mi a few times, who threw questions of frustration my way. She said I wasted a good chance to speak to Oh Sehun. She even told me about how he stood there like a lost child when I walked away. He even looked to her for answers, which she didn’t have.

I rolled my eyes at her comments before brushing off her comment. I continued to walk around the event, snapping photos. There were a few times where i would wander around, looking for more shots when I spotted the 9 CEOs of EXO Inc. Each time I even glanced their way for a second, Sehun seemed to have noticed. He would look in my direction as if I called him.

I avoided them the whole night.

I would say I did pretty well, though every time I looked their way, it felt like I was the topic of discussion. Do they remember me? They probably do. I don’t look much different from middle school, so I didn’t think it would take them that long to notice. Then again…I wasn’t much to them.

The night was coming to an end and people were starting to leave. The venue that was once filled with people was growing more and more spacious. Things were being closed up. I was going over things with Jang Mi.

“You need to inform them about the processing.” She said to me. I followed her gaze to where the 9 men stood laughing and chatting it up. Though there was only few guests left, they were talking like the party had just started.

I groaned, realizing what that meant, I would have to speak to them.

“Jang Mi,” I whined pouting at her, “Can you please do me a favor? Can you do it this time? Please?”

She kissed her lips and shook her head at me, “I did it the last 3 jobs remember? Y/N, just go. Are you afraid of them? They won’t bite. Go.” She reached into her backpack, taking out the forum, clipboard and pen. After she handed them to me, I showed her a look of panic. Though she saw my expression, she showed me a small smile before pushing me forward.

“Goddamn it.” I muttered before taking slowly reluctant steps towards te men. Of course I caught their attention right away.  Most of them were looking at me with a knowing smirk, as if expecting me.

“Excuse me,” I began softly, “Who booked up for today? I need a few things filled out, because we were not given these details before hand.” My eyes scanned over the faces of all the men except for one.

“That would be Mr. Oh.” One of the men said. I think Junmyeon was his name. The small smile on my lips flatten and I exhaled. I turned towards Sehun who stood there with one hand in his pocket while looking at the  gold rolex watch on his wrist.

“Mr. Oh,” I said to catch his attention, but looking at the way he responded, he was already paying attention. My eyes were focused on the space behind him as I held out the pen and clipboard. He gave a confused but didn’t question me. This should be an easy thing but I guess things aren’t that simple. When he reached out to grab the pen, our hands brushed. Suddenly it felt like I was hit by lightning. I flinched back from Sehun, dropping both the pen and the clipboard.

My body was growing hot as I stood there. What is going on?!

I tried to recover, apologizing and picking up the two items. This time I handed them to him, without skin contact. I took a few steps back, leaving space between us.

“Please fill this out.” I stated quietly. As Sehun was filling out the form, one of the men spoke.

“Does your company only do event photography?” He asked. His big eyes and small smirk was welcoming.

“Events, portraits, and commercial are what we do.” I answered simply before glancing at Sehun who was still writing. My body was still burning hot but I was able to keep myself together.

“What’s your name?” Sehun suddenly asked but kept his eyes on the clipboard.

“Mr. Oh, there’s no need to know my name. I’m just a photographer.” I replied int monotone.

“I’ve actually been wanting to talk to you.”

“Offers for future jobs are to be emailed to us. I will give you my business card-” He cut me off kindly, glancing up from the clipboard as he checked and signed things.

“This doesn’t have anything to do with that.”

My brows furrowed and my forehead creased.

“What could we possibly have to talk about Mr. Oh?” I replied.

“Please call me Sehun.” he smiled kindly, and signed one more thing on the form. Sehun hands me the clipboard and pen, avoiding any skin contact. I nodded and muttered a small thank you before turning to walk away.

“…Your name?” He called out, although I wasn’t too far from him in the first place.

I stopped walking and shook my head, “Like I said Mr. Oh, I’m just a boring photographer.” I spun on my heels and faced the 9 men.

“Thank you so much letting us work with you today. Please come to Moments Photography for all your desires to capture moments in pictures.” I bowed slightly before standing up straight and smiling.

“We will have the pictures to you within 48 hours.” I added quickly. I turned around and headed towards Jang Mi who was packing up the gear.  I heard some mumbling behind me.

“Don’t just let her go like that. Go say something.” Is what someone said.

That’s when I heard footsteps following quickly behind me.

I mentally sighed, and shook my head. Why he is so interested in me all of a sudden? What for?

“Why do I feel like you’re rushing to get out of here?” Sehun said from behind me, walking swiftly to catch up with me.

“Because I am Mr. Oh,” I said as he walked in front of me, “Please I really need to go.”

“Let me just talk to you for a minute.” He spoke softly. When I didn’t respond he continued to speak. I could see Jang Mi far off behind him, giving me a grin and a thumbs up.

Sehun stood there trying to find his words, his pointer finger scratching his temple aimlessly.

“My colleagues and I were about to get something to eat before the night is over. We were actually looking for a photographer to help us with an upcoming project. Maybe we could discuss things over dinner?”

I almost laughed. Wow, persistent as ever.

“I don’t think that will be needed Mr. Oh.” I kindly shut him down, trying to keep a friendly smile on my face. I was still avoiding eye contact so his facial expression was only partly visible to me. He sighed, almost seeming annoyed with me. His facial expression certainly haven’t changed. You could always tell how he was feeling by the look on his face. I finally mustered up enough confidence to look him in the eyes. I was expecting those cold and sinister eyes but I was taken back.

The brown eyes that stared at me were soft and kind eyes. They held a sort of adoration that I’ve never seen before. It’s like these eyes were looking right through me and seeing every flaw, but accepting each and every single one. I didn’t realize my lips parted and a soft gasp left my lips.

I was almost hypnotized by his eyes.

“So..will you join us for a quick meal?” He asked again.

Before I could think, I spoke, “Okay, dinner sounds great.” Sehun broke out in a huge smile, clapping his hands together once in joy.

“Great! Your assistant is also welcome! I’ll let my colleagues know you’ll be joining us.” He smiled before walking back to the group of men.

I stared at his back as he walked away and the situation was slowly sinking in.

“What?” I whispered to myself. Did I just agree to dinner? What?! I groaned and mentally slapped myself. I turned back to Jang Mi and rushed over to her.

“What happened?” She asked me, her eyes twinkling with curiosity.

“It seems that we are going out to dinner with the CEO’s of EXO Inc.” I explained, keeping my voice very monotone. Her eyes widen and a look of excitement crossed her face.

“I knew he liked you! Why else would he invite you out to eat?” She teased, packing up more of the gear.

I rolled my eyes at her words, “He said he needs photographers for an upcoming project.”

“Bullshit.” She hissed, “He totally likes you. I’m honestly surprised you even accepted the invite. You ran away when he approached you earlier.” She laughed as she recalled the memory. All I could do was cringe slightly. My head was spinning, trying to figure out how I ended up in such a situation.  Jang Mi and I finished packing our gear. I tried to tune out Jang Mi’s endless blabber in the process.  

After packing our gear, I started walking towards the exit of the venue. I was going to put my things in my car. There was a part of me that wanted to sneak off. If I do that, the chances of seeing Sehun again will be less. I don’t even want to tell him my name, thinking I would trigger memories to return to him. Once he realizes who I am, he will probably laugh in my face.

~!~

How in heaven’s name did I end up here? I am driving to the address of the restaurant which Sehun has written down for me. I was driving the slowest I could, delaying this dinner I was dreading. It also way too late at night to consider this a dinner. Jang Mi on the other hand, was bouncing in her seat. She would talk about the hopes of having one of them fall in love with her. All I could do was scoff at those fantasies.

As we pulled into the parking lot of the 5 star restaurant, I noticed right away that it was practically empty. I parked my car quickly, opening the car door and hopping out. The lace sleeves of my dress were starting to itch, a sign that I have been wearing this dress for way too long.

“Let’s get this over with.” I muttered shutting the car door behind me. I started walking towards the dimly lit restaurant, my heels clicking on the pavement. Jang Mi trailed behind me, gasping at the expensive cars that were also parked. I barely had time to glance at them. I was speed walking to the front doors. The sooner we start this, the sooner it’s over.

I walked up to the fancy wooden double doors. I started to push one of them open, when someone from the other side opened the door. I stopped exerting force on the door and watched as one of the employees of the restaurant stood there with a small smile. I thanked him swiftly and stepped inside, peeking over my shoulder to Jang Mi not far behind.

The restaurant was beautiful. It was dimly lit, with fancy tables and chairs. There were candles set on the tables, and they were glow beautifully. The atmosphere was very calming and warm, which watered down my nerves slightly.

I was a bit shocked when I felt a hand on the small of my back. It was Jang Mi, giving me a slight push to move forward. Turns out the waiter was trying to catch my attention. He was trying to lead us to the table. I apologized shortly and followed the man.

We were led through the restaurant to a sort of V.I.P area. There was a doorway that was blocked by some curtains. Once the curtains were pushed back, we walked into another dining area. It was like there was a second restaurant in the back.

That’s when I noticed them. They were all sitting at a big circular table, chatting away about something. Everyone’s attention was on Sehun. It seemed like many of them were all speaking at once.

“Just make sure you don’t scare her off.” One of them said.

“Don’t be too aggressive, but don’t be passive.” Another spoke to him. Sehun had an elbow on the table while his forehead rested on his hand. I opened my mouth to tell them we were here when Sehun’s head snapped up. The stressful expression that was on seconds ago disappeared. There was that smile again.

“Hey,” He said standing up from his seat, “I’m glad you made it. For a second I thought you were gonna ditch us.”

I wordlessly looked around the table, spotting a chair on the opposite side of the table, and another on beside Sehun. My eyes focused on that opposite chair. I took one seat forward and was disappointed as I noticed Jang Mi nearly run for that chair. She took her seat, sending me a knowing grin. I glared at her, before taking a seat in the only chair left. Right next to Sehun…great.

My dress suddenly felt too short, cause me to tug on the end as I sat.  Jang Mi introduced

“I’m sorry but we still haven’t learned your name.” The taller gentleman from before said. I guess there is no avoiding it huh?

“My name is Y/N.” I stated kindly, showing a smile. Probably the first real smile in a while.

“Y/N, huh?” I heard Sehun mumbled from beside me. I looked at him, and he was already looking my way.

“I’m Sehun, I’ve already introduced myself.” He spoke. As he shifted in his seat, I could smell his cologne whiff through the air. It was a subtle vanilla like fragrance and his warmth was alluring.  I think I may have leaned towards him a bit, but it doesn’t seem like anyone has realized. My mind is spinning. I constantly tell myself to stay away from him…but I feel like I’m being drawn to him. No matter how hard I fight him, the hate and disgust I want to feel…isn’t happening.

“These are my brothers.” He explained. My eyes widened.

“Your brothers?” I asked, a bit shocked. I don’t remember Sehun having brothers in middle school and high school.

“Yes my brothers.” He chuckled a bit at my reaction. “This is Junmyeon, Jongin, Minseok, Yixing, Jongdae, Chanyeol, Baekhyun and Kyungsoo.”

I said hello to all of them, receiving a friendly hello in return. The two names that stuck on to me were Baekhyun and Chanyeol. They have also changed a lot. Most Chanyeol. I could it hard to keep my smile present on my face when I realized who they were.

We soon ordered our food, and as the night went on we spoke mostly business. They were working on a establishment project. It was going to be about how they established their company and they need a photographer to capture the present times. They also needed an image change. Most of the CEOs are known as stuck up, rude and scary. They are looking to bring forth a warm image to themselves.

As dinner went on, I listened closely as the business spoke on exactly what they needed. After Jang Mi went back and forth on our conditions it seemed that things were settled. We kept eating. After the business talk was over, I decided I wouldn’t say anymore. I am trying to keep this on a business level. Jang mi on the other hand was making great conversation, always trying to bring it to me.

I kept my eyes on my plate, pushing around the food that was left on it.

“You’re not much a talker are you?” A voice beside me asked. I turned my head to see Sehun looking at me. Everyone else was caught up in their own conversation.

I chuckled, “I guess you could say that, I just try to keep to myself.”

“That’s understandable, plus it doesn’t seem like you want to be here.” He spoke honestly. I raised an eyebrow at him. Well he’s not wrong.

“Looking at your face expression, I see I am correct.” He added, before taking a sip of his wine.

“I guess you could say that.” I answered, leaning back in my seat; “It’s nothing personal.”

What a liar I am. It’s completely personal. It’s all personal.

“I’d rather be home editing photos right now.”

“Ahh.” Sehun said, finally understanding, “Your passion for photography is keeping you from having fun.” He was clearly teasing me.

“Photography is fun to me, because it is my passion. Do you have a passion?” I found myself holding a conversation with Sehun. Damn Y/N, what happened to keeping to yourself?

Sehun thought for a moment, “I would say my company is my passion. It probably sounds boring.”

“No, it doesn’t sound boring. Sorry to ask but, what does your company do exactly?”

“Well, EXO Inc puts forth various products. Make up, skin care, acne treatment and much more. My branch of the company is the marketing branch. So Oh Enterprises handles the marketing of not only EXO but of other companies and products as well.” He explained kindly. It felt like the more we spoke, the lower my guard got.

The tension in my shoulders was disappearing and I was relaxing. We were talking for quite a while.

“When did you start photography?” He questioned.

I gulped hesitating. Here comes that uneasiness again.

“I-in middle school. I got my first camera in middle school. It’s not advanced like the ones I have now, but I loved that camera.”

“I’m guessing it was a gift?”

“Yes. My parents bought it for me. In some ways I felt bad, because my family didn’t have a lot of money. Still, my parents bought me that camera.” I explained, blinking to keep my tears away. I brought my eyes down to the table.

“Stuff like that is something you keep forever right? I bet you kept that camera, since it was so important to you.” Sehun said.

“Actually,” My voice came out hard, “It didn’t even last a month. The camera was stolen and broken.” My eyes stayed on the table.

“Really? How?”


I almost skipped down the school hallway. It was lunch time so the hallways were practically empty, except for the few kids who would skip lunch and hang out in the lobby of the school. I was rushing to my locker to get the new camera my mother got me. I kept it in my backpack, which sat in my locker. I got permission from the principal to go into the school garden turning lunch to take some photos.

When I got to my locker, I noticed something was off. My backpack was open wide. I know I didn’t leave it open!

I started to panic as my hands searched the backpack. My camera?! Where is my camera?! My parents worked so hard to get me that camera! My eyes stung with tears and my shoulders slumped.

“Lens freak?” Someone called. I didn’t dare look up, dreading the face I would meet.

I looked up to see Baekhyun standing not too far from me. Beside him stood Chanyeol. Sehun was leaning against the lockers, his arms crossed and his eyes closed.

“Where is my camera?” I hissed at them. Sehun never once opened his eyes while Baekhyun and Chanyeol stood there laughing.

“I know you guess like to mess with me, but that camera cost a lot of money! If something happens to it, I’ll get in a lot of trouble.” I nearly begged fighting through my tears.

Baekhyun shrugged acting oblivious, “Why would you think we have it?”

“Baekhyun! Stop messing around! Give me the camera!”

That’s when Sehun sighed seeming annoyed. Without even glancing my way he turned around and walked down the hallway.

“If you want your dumb camera, check toilet #2 of the boys bathroom near the gym.” He said over his shoulder and waved as if he was saying goodbye to a find.

I watched as Chanyeol and Baekhyun laughed a bit more before turning around and following Sehun.

~!~

I felt my grip on my fork tightening as the memory played vividly in my mind. I could feel my shoulders tighten again, as the free atmosphere around me grew tense.

“Y/N?” Sehun asked sounding concerned. I started to gather my things.

“I think it’s about time I leave. I will email you about the project.” The words rushed out of my mouth, as I stood up from my seat. Everyone was looking at me, seeming confused.

“Jang Mi, let’s go.” I said to her. She looked a bit angry, but I think she started to notice the distraught look in my eyes.

“Okay,” She answered without questioning me.

“Thank you all for the dinner.” I said quickly, before turning around and exiting. I had only gotten past the curtains that blocked off the V.I.P section when I felt a hand take hold of my wrist. The touch made my body grow hot again, but it also calmed the mixture of emotions I was feeling. Sehun gently turned me to face him. Looking at his face expression, it resembled a lost and confused puppy.

“Um, did I say something to offend you? I’ve been trying to get to know you this whole night and it seems like you have a sort of dislike to me. Did I do something?” He asked biting his lip. All I could do was stare up at him.

“I would really like to see you again, not for business reasons either…if you’re up for it?” He asked kindly.

“Why do you want to see me again? I don’t understand. This whole night has been crazy and confusing. I just want to go home.” I admitted.

I was a bit shocked when Sehun suddenly took my hand in his.

“I know, I know. Things must be a bit confusing for you. All these feelings and sensations. You’re not crazy I promise, cause I feel them too. If you’ll see me again, I’ll explain everything. Okay?” Ugh there’s that warm feeling again. My heart starts to speed up and my face starts heating up.

“Okay, okay.” I reluctantly agree, “You’ll explain everything right?” So it all wasn’t in my head. The feelings that were drawing me to him, along with my skin growing hot every time the was skin contact.

“Yes, I’ll explain everything.” He confirmed. He took out his cell phone from his back pocket. I quickly gave him my number. I really hope I won’t regret this. As he saved my contact I noticed that Jang Mi was standing behind us.

“Jang Mi, why didn’t tell me you were there?” I asked.

She smirked, “I didn’t want to ruin the moment. Her eyes darted between Sehun.” I rolled my eyes before grabbing her wrist and pulling her forward.

“We’re leaving.” I said.

“I’ll call you.” Sehun replied.

“Yeah, yeah…whatever floats your boat lover boy.” Was all I muttered in reply.

As Jang Mi and I got to the car, she squealed. I glanced at her in confusion before opening the car door and getting in. She followed suit, hitting my shoulder playful.

“Y/N! He asked for your number. Now we know for sure that he likes you.”  She stated.

“He doesn’t like me.” I deadpanned.

“Mhh,” She thought for a moment, “I disagree. During dinner he couldn’t keep his eyes off you. Once you both started talking, his whole face lit up! He was looking at you like you were his whole world! Damn, I wish I could find a man to look at me like that.”

I sat there in the still car with Jang Mi for a second before whining, “But does that make any sense? He just met me right? How can he take such a liking to me already? I’m nothing special.”

“Don’t bring yourself down like that. I think he’s really interested in you.”

“Or he just sees me as a pretty girl he wants to fuck.”

Jang Mi hissed, “I don’t think it’s like that. Just give the dude a chance, he seems like a sweetheart. Completely different from his image.”

“Mhh.” Was all I said as I started the car.

“So will you give him a chance?”

“Probably not.” I answered.

“Why not?”

“Jang Mi,” I spoke sternly, “Trust me…it’s not meant to be.”

Mobile Masterlist

"I wish gays wouldn't hold hands in public, they make my children ask questions I don't want to answer!"

I don’t get why straight people think gay people are like Rubik’s cubes.

Like believe it or not, kids will totally get it.

My mom was like: “kira, there are men out there who fall in love with men-” and I was like “yeah I know.”

And then I told her to go away because I was reading a goosebumps.

I wasn’t even really told gay people existed, I just knew they did from osmosis and it was a fact like the ocean is salty, and the ground tastes bad.

my uncle came out as gay to my family when I was fourteen and my mom was like this is so weird, i can’t see him the same way.

But I really didn’t care?

I thought it was great, actually, cause I was really glad to find out that that guy he brought over all the time was his boyfriend and he wasn’t “single” like he always insisted at family gatherings.

So straight people complaining about gay people being confusing makes no sense.

I grew up in a secular but still conservative household.

I totally got gay people. Immediately.

On the plane, sitting alone
The old woman by my side
Can’t quite figure out
How to use her touch screen

Two seats down, they got it
Someone’s watching Bridgett Jones
It looks way too straight
You’d make fun of it

But you’re not there, and I’m bored
I put it on my own screen
Wait for it to enthrall me
I’m not surprised when it doesn’t

I fall asleep after crying one more time
Crying for all the time we lose
While I’m going away from you
While I’m leaving us behind

I sleep restlessly, but I’m asleep
I don’t feel well, I don’t feel
And then when I wake up in a scare
I want to tell you “hold me closer”

But you’re not there to hold me
Just the clueless lady and her touch screen
Just someone finishing their snack
Just a cold airplane window

I got used to all my dreams of you
Being no more than a snippet
A feeling in my gut that told me
You must still be in my bed

Because my body and yours go together
You soothe me, even without trying
And my brain is always looking
Trying to get you back in my space

And then last night I dreamed
Of your lips and arms and face
Of your pretty hair tickling my nose
When you kissed me

Last night you told me you wanted me
And I told you you had me
And in a crowd of other people
We were completely alone

And I thought waking up
Thinking you were still there
Was the worst thing that could
Ever happen to me while I slept

But waking up knowing
You were just a haze, a dream
That’s the most awful feeling
I ever got as I woke up

—  two continents, ten thousand kilometers, never enough dreams of you
P.R.
Writing Prompts

1) He turned away, silently begging her to call him back. Say no, we can fix this. Say, we’ll make it. Tell me you want to fight for it. Please

2) After everything she had done she was angry. All that, all the sacrifices. For this. 

3) “Do you honestly think we’re going anywhere like this? We’re not anything and we never have been. We’re stuck and frozen. And the world is moving on without us. Wake up! This is doing nothing but holding us back, we need to learn how to let go.” 

4) She wanted to take everything back. Make it so they didn’t know, hide it all away again. It always worked better like that anyway. 

5) The raindrops hit his skin like knives but he didn’t move, the bus would come any minute. 

6) “Just leave me alone, I can’t deal with you right now, a war is about to start.” 

7) The reflection in the window was enough to make it clear what was happening. They had come for her. 

8) He had watched him die. Held him in his arms, felt his heart stop beating, watched is last breath, seen the life leave his eyes. He was never the same. 

9) “I’m not me today.” 

10) She was emotionless, empty, devoid of thought and feeling. They were gone. They were really gone. 

Say You Won’t Let Go

Part Eight of the “Forever” series.

Read He Doesn’t Know
Read She Knows
Read Me Too
Read Sing Me To Sleep
Read Closer
Read Let Me Hold You
Read Love Me Like You Do

A/N: As always, thank you so much to my amazing beta @shadowandsoul…there’s also a surprise for her in this one. :)
A/N2: If you want to be tagged in anything, send me an ask.

Words: 1105


“We’re going to find him, Y/N,” Sam kept saying the same thing over and over again as you searched for Dean.

           You had cried all of your tears. You hurt. Everything hurt. There was a dull ache all over your body. Part of it was from being away from Dean for almost a week. Part of it was because Dean was hurt. You could feel that he was in a lot of pain. And it scared you to death.

           “Sam … I just … I can’t lose him.”

           “I’m going to make sure that doesn’t happen,” Sam said.

           You groaned, not being able to focus on anything. You were trying to help find some kind of clue to help find Dean, but your vision was blurring and you just couldn’t stare at the computer screen anymore.

           “Go take a nap,” Sam said.

           “What?”

           “You’re exhausted, Y/N. You’ll be no help getting to Dean if you’re super tired like that. Just go lay down for a little while.”

           You nodded, “Yeah. Yeah, okay.”

Keep reading

Paper

They’re obviously not 14 in this. I don’t really know how old I should make them so I’ll just leave that up to you. <3

Enjoy!

Pairing: Riarkle
Words: 429


He holds the crumpled paper in his hands, black ink is scribbled all over it in her handwriting.

I want to wake up every morning to the golden rays of the sun and see his beautiful face; I want to see his body rising and falling slowly, his breathing even; I want to see his eyes peacefully fluttered shut; I want to see his dark eyelashes lightly resting on his cheeks; I want to be able to admire him while he’s in a better world where everything goes his way.

I want to be the one to kiss his burning tears of pain away; I want to be the one who he chooses to go to during his worst times; I want to be the one to hold him close; I want to be the one telling him in hushed whispers, that he’s perfect, that there’s nothing wrong with him, that it’s not his fault; I want to be the reason why he feels he can smile again; I want to be the one who makes him smile again; I want to be the one who makes him feel that all the downsides in life are nothing, that we’re everything, that nothing will be strong enough to pull either one of us down.

I want to hear his beautiful laugh exploding out of him; I want to see the happiness vibrate through him; I want to be blessed with his radiance; I want to see the flash of white teeth that his beautiful lips frame; I want to see his eyes squeezed shut from happiness, the little crinkles marking the skin next to them; I want to be there, to know that he’s happy.

I want to make him all his favorite dishes, hold him in my arms, sing him sweet lullabies, massage his aching muscles, welcome him home every day.

I want to be the one he loves. I want to be his favorite thing. I want so much. I crave it. I need it. I will never have it. 

I shall forever wait.


His eyes rake over the page, reading every word, every syllable. His heart beats ever so fast; his breath, caught in his lungs; his sight, blurred by tears. He takes the ink pen in his hand, the cold metal brushing against his fingers, and writes.

He curves the end, making his statement final.

The paper is left on her desk, with his familiar handwriting in fresh black ink, scrawled at the bottom:

Why want what you already have? Why wait for what’s already yours?


Darling, did you know
I dream about life together
Knowing it will be forever
I’ll be yours and you’ll be mine

-Rebecca St. James

hamiltonyay  asked:

80

hope you like it :)

“I’m watching you be torn apart.”

There’s those mornings where Anthony wants nothing more than to just hold Jasmine in his arms as they lay in bed, wasting the day away underneath the covers, shielding her away from every negative thing that was happening in her life.

Today was one of those days.

After taking a break from Broadway following her departure from Hamilton Jasmine had made the decision to return to the stage once more, beginning to go on countless auditions and workshop opportunities in hopes that one would stick. Things only became discouraging when every project she would book got canceled or went nowhere, or she got cut at all, making her wonder if she was still cut out for the world of Broadway.

Anthony can see Jasmine’s frustration and heartbreak written all over her face with each failed gig that she would go out for. He felt almost helpless, like nothing he said or did for her really made her feel better.

Jasmine stirs in his arms and rolls over to look at him, the smallest of smiles on her face. He knows it’s a facade and covers up how she’s really feeling, but he leans down to kiss her anyway, pulling her closer to him, his lips pressing lightly against her forehead.

“I find out about that new show today,” She whispers, Anthony biting his lip as he pulls back to look down at her, trying to figure out the best way to go about talking about this.

“You know if you don’t get it or it doesn’t work out it doesn’t make you any less amazing, right?” He questions, Jasmine sighing as she nods, letting her forehead fall against his bare chest.

“I just really, really want this job. And it feels like everything I’ve ever tried to book hasn’t worked out. I can’t help but think that that’s my fault. That there’s something I could be doing to fix this, you know?” She questions, Anthony listening to the way the emotion fills her voice through each word.

“I hate this for you,” Anthony mumbles, just loud enough that it barely fills their bedroom. “I’m watching you be torn apart. I hate it, Jazzy. I want you more than anyone else in the world to have one of these jobs work out for you,” He whispers, feeling her nod against his chest.

“Something is going to work out soon, I promise. You’re going to kill it, and once you get that job it’s going to make all of this heartbreak worth it,” Anthony hopes that his words are helping, feeling Jasmine just pull herself closer to him, letting his lips press against her head.

Jasmine knows that there will be a day where she books another job that doesn’t get canceled, but she can’t help but be discouraged in the moment. She just prays that something works out soon, wanting more than anything to have a job again.

Anthony can’t wait for the day that she gets that job she’s been dreaming of, more than ready to see how happy she is about a job like she was when they were in Hamilton together.

Personal - you can scroll on if you want but I just need to get this out

So the family got some bad news over the weekend. My Grandmother has basal cell carcinoma (skin cancer) that she can’t have/won’t have treated. She’s 85, deaf as can be, blind in one eye, and basically is just giving up. Her health has declined rapidly since late November and my aunt (who lives with her) doesn’t think she’ll make to the end of the year. She thinks she is just holding out for my brother’s wedding in September and isn’t even sure Gram will be healthy enough to even go. My mother is devastated to say the least. My grandfather passed away 17 years ago next month that was hard but this is worse. Grandpa passed suddenly from a heart attack. Watching her mother wither away and die is so much harder on her and all the rest of us. I’m trying to distract myself with Tumblr and other things but I’m really not feeling it. So my activity will probably be limited to lurking and queued things for awhile. Might be more active once Gotham starts again but who knows at this point…..

It’s Going to be Difficult

Ship: Sam x Mike

Summary: Mike finds out Sam’s secret after going to the hospital after the incident occurs.

Notes: Cute babes. <3 I had a lot of fun with this. Lol. It’s short, but yeah. I enjoyed writing it.

Word Count: 692

“Can you tell us anything? What happened up there?” This woman with blonde hair asked Mike from across the table. She really looked like Sam, and it made his heart ache. He couldn’t help her… He couldn’t save her.

“We… Were all invited up to the Washington Lodge for our yearly reunion. It turns out… Josh just wanted us to suffer. He… He killed Sam.” He got a knot in his throat, making him gasp painfully and hold back tears as he looked away, looking up at the ceiling. “Oh, poor Sammy… You know, I really started to love her there. She was… Something special.”

“What happened to Sam?”

“I found her drugged… She was badly scratched and freezing, but alive… I got her out of that sanatorium and took her to the lodge. That was… The last time I saw her.”

“Did you ever check on her again?”

Mike paused, his mouth slightly opened as he thought. “No.. When we got there, she was gone. I thought one of those—things got her. Why are you asking about her?” His heart suddenly lurched, making him sit forward quickly. “Did you find her? Is she okay?!”

“We found her… She is in intensive care.”

Tears started streaming down his face as he heard that, slowly sitting back and sighing. “Thank god..”

“You aren’t worried about Jessica?”

“She’s dead. I saw her die…” The investigator nodded, writing down a few things before looking up at him with narrowed eyes. “What?”

“Did you know that Samantha is with child?”

Mike froze, staring at them in disbelief. “You…” He took a long pause, thinking quickly. “You’re lying.”

The investigator threw down a sonogram of Sam’s stomach, pushing it to Mike. “This is the baby. Granted, she’s only a few weeks along, but we are afraid of the baby being… hurt. Do you know the—“

“Me.” He said shortly, sighing and shifting in his chair. “We… We got drunk at a party not that long ago and we…” He sighed. “Jess never knew…”

“Would you like to see her?”

He stood up suddenly. “More than my own hands.”

~

Mike rushed into Sam’s hospital room, staring at her silently. “Hey, Mike…”

He slowly moved over to her, sitting down slowly. “You… When were you going to tell me?”

She sighed and rolled her head up to the ceiling, shaking her head. “When I got the guts to face Jess…”

“Sam, if Jess ever tried to hurt you, she’d have hell to deal with from me. Would you’ve told me first?” She nodded slightly and then he sighed, gripping her hand gently. “Then you wouldn’t’ve had to’ve worried. I wouldn’t let her harm..” He looked down at her stomach, sighing. “That explains the no drinking and snappiness.”

She laughed and gripped his hand, sighing soon after. “How would I’ve told Josh..?”

“You two never dated. So..”

“But it was clear he liked me. He…” She took in a shaky breath and closed her eyes.

“It… Is mine, though… Right?”

“Yes.” She spoked softly, her eyes not looking at his. “You were the only one I was with for awhile, so..”

“Sam.. You don’t seem too happy about this.”

“Mike, I’m 19. I’m 4 fucking weeks and I’m only 19. Plus, it was with one of my friend’s boyfriend and now she’s dead. I don’t even—“ She cut herself off, taking a shaky breath. She finally looked into his eyes, seeing the mixed emotions that were in them. She then shook her head softly, reaching up weakly and resting her hand on his cheek. “I’m keeping it.. It’s going to be difficult.”

“I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. I’m taking responsibility for it, I will help. Just please, Sammy. Don’t leave..”

She nodded gently and sat up slightly, pulling him to her and kissing his forehead gently. “I’m staying here, too. Don’t worry.”

Red Rose, proud Rose, sad Rose of all my days!

Part 5. Anne and Declan

He’d lost so much she felt she couldn’t take anything more from him so she told him though she knew the risk, that he would turn his face away from her, push her gently from his side without any discussion, mutter, Go, just…go and be silent, holding his breath while she gathered her skirts and rose, walking as gracefully from the room as her namesake had walked to the block.

“You’re not the only man I’ve loved, Declan.”

There was the sound of the night in the hospital—men everywhere and somehow nowhere, the orderlies’ boots in the hall, a nun, always a nun praying, her habit making its own prayer against the floorboards and then Declan spoke.

“Aye, well, you’re not the only woman I’ve loved either, Annie. Did you think it would trouble me?”

“I wanted you to know the truth,” she said, loosening her hands in her lap.

“I’m glad of it but that’s not the answer to my question, is it?” he said calmly, shifting in the bed. She leaned over and adjusted the pillow that had moved, moving his shoulders and straightening the blanket over him, smiling as he sighed with relief.

“I was…afraid. I thought you ought to know who you were marrying. Do you want me to tell you more?” she said, thinking of Robert the first time he’d seen her and the last, how he’d caught at her hand, of William who’d promised to come back when he joined the Navy and never had, of how Byron had looked up at her drowsily from her breast and how he grinned at her every deception.

“Not especially. You’re not planning to jilt me for any of them, are you?” he said easily and she choked on the laugh she couldn’t stop.

“No! I’d never—all I want is to marry you, to be Mrs. Brannan,” she declared and he reached over to pat her hand with his, the one that was not crabbed and bandaged, ruined despite Jed Foster’s finest work. She had thanked God for Declan’s injuries, severe enough to keep him away from any other battle but still repairable, needing the skill and delicacy only Foster possessed with his Parisian training. Byron had not made a peep when she insisted Foster take Declan’s case. Even so, Declan had lost the eye and his right hand was hardly more than a stump; his leg had fared better but it was likely he’d be lame. He’d woken from the chloroform entirely himself, taking a full accounting of his injuries for a moment before remarking, “Seems I’ve kept my silver tongue at least and that counts for something for an Irishman!

“We’re in agreement then, as all I want is to make you mine, wreck of a man that I am,” he said, grinning so roguishly she couldn’t keep her hand from brushing the hair off his forehead, stroking his cheek.

“You’re not a wreck,” she said.

“Did the other men believe your lies, love? For I shan’t and I don’t. But I suppose I’m enough of a man to know what I want, to be grateful for what I don’t deserve,” he replied, holding her hand in his, his touch reminding her of the night they’d spent together, how much delight he’d brought her and how he’d enjoyed her cries, how she’d pulled him to her, demanded he give her more like that oh never stop, the most amiable ravishment she could imagine. It would be weeks before they might consummate their marriage but they were both clever and greedy of any joy to be had.

“You mustn’t say that. That I’m more than you deserve, you’re mistaken,” she said and he squeezed her hand. Tomorrow that might hurt, if the ring he gave her pressed into her palm. It was a pain she would welcome.

“I know you were angry at Dr. Foster, that he couldn’t do better by me, but Annie, one eye is all I need to see,” he replied and looked at her intently with the one he had left, with its long, dark lashes and the chalcedony gleam of the iris. “Now, kiss me one last time as Miss Hastings and off to bed with you. Next time, I shall be kissing Mrs. Brannan and she’s the highest of standards.”

She bent over and kissed him softly, deeply, tasting the tonic she’d given him, feeling the way he wanted her, the low sound he made that was part gasp, part moan, an ardent desire that left her dizzy because there was no part of her he knew and did not want, no aspect unknown and unknowable. She put a hand on the bed’s frame to steady herself as she drew back, watching him lick his lips and gaze at her appreciatively.

“Mind you rest. You’ve a long day ahead of you,” she said.

“I wish it were a long night ahead,” he said and she laughed.

“Soon enough, Declan.”

Exo Reaction to Their Girlfriend Crying in a Changing Room Because Nothing Fit

I am really sorry but I couldn’t find gifs that really fit this theme, so I thought it was better to go without. :/


Baekhyun:

He immediately frowns, seeing how upset she is and all he wants to do is make her feel better. He doesn’t really know what to do though, it’s not like he can just make the clothes disappear. It then occurs to him that he can. He gathers them and takes them out of the room, handing them to the employee who was waiting not too far away. After he holds her and promises her that it’s okay and that she doesn’t need to be ashamed. 

Chanyeol:

He genuinely didn’t know what to do to help her feel better. He was stuck on the fact that she was crying, they were in public, and he didn’t know what to do. He came towards her and grabbed her hand, giving her a smile, telling her softly that the sizes in the store must be wrong. 

Chen:

When he saw her crying he immediately set out to try and make her feel better. He gave her little kisses on her cheeks and then nose before he helped her get dressed. He got her out of the change room and held her hand tightly in his. “So what? A couple of dresses didn’t fit. You’re more beautiful than ever…let’s go get some ice cream or something.” 

Kai:

He had never been in her situation before but all he knew is that he didn’t want her to feel like that anymore. He hated seeing her so upset and to him it genuinely seemed like something she couldn’t control. He went over to her and knelt down, hugging her and holding her close, trying to offer her comfort to help her calm down. 

Kyungsoo:

He sighed when he pieced together what had happened and sat down next to her on the little bench. He kissed her temple and then rubbed her back, offering her silent support, not exactly knowing what he could say that would feel right. 

Lay:

He knocked on the door when he heard her crying and tried to understand what was going on through the shaky sobs coming through the barrier between them. He kept his voice quiet, truly feeling bad for her and not wanting her to feel like that. “I think you’re beautiful…even if you’re not the same size anymore.” 

Sehun:

When he figured out what was going on, he very quietly picked up the clothes she had tried on and left the room. He spent the next five minutes walking around and finding them all one size up and then came back, slipping inside the room. He set them down and gently put his hand on her shoulder, feeling a little unsure of what he did but wanting her to know that he thought there was nothing wrong with her even if she did need the next size up. 

Suho:

He looked at the clothes she had tried on and sighed, knowing that it must have kicked her confidence right in the gut. He hugged her and tried his best to make her feel better, giving her little kisses and tenderly rubbing her back. When he got her to calm down, he suggested that they maybe go out and look for more clothes and not let this discourage her. 

Xiumin:

He frowned knowing that she had never been particularly confident in her body and this was making it worse. He got rid of the clothes first, knowing seeing them wouldn’t help and then sat next to her, talking to her and telling her that it was okay. He loved her the way she was and she should too and not place her worth in a size measurement. 


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My Masterlist.

Masterpost for Mobile Users.

I want something that shows Percy holding Annabeth after Tartarus. About him seeing the cut on her neck and vowing to protect her at all costs. He understands that she can fend for herself, but that doesn’t mean he can’t take some hits for her. I want more of Percy throwing himself into protecting her. I want him laying with her and running his fingers over the scar on her neck murmuring apologies and crying. I want Annabeth being afraid of the darkness in him. I want to see her trying to keep the darkness from over taking Percy and trying anything to hide the scars because she knows they make him angry at himself because he feels like it’s his fault. I want to see her start to draw away from him because she doesn’t want him to let the dark side rule him whenever he tries to protect her. I want Percy to get mad at this and just pull away completely going into the ocean. I want Annabeth to dive in after him and stay under until she sees stars because she knows Percy will always find his way to her. I want them to make up and deal with the emotions and feelings Tartarus forced onto them. I want better development for the characters who went to the deepest pits of hell and back then were denied a pov.

Adulterate, a Hakyona fic

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adulterate

verb

əˈdʌltəreɪt/

  1. render (something) poorer in quality by adding another substance.

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She’s been watching you lately, you notice that much at least.

It doesn’t bother you, really. It’s just a little strange, slightly unnerving – a little flattering, but let’s not go there. You’re allowed to be curious about it, you think, as she walks by and glances at you from the corner of her eye.  When you do catch her staring though, she immediately turns away, flustered.

It’s… cute. There’s really no way else you can put it. It tugs at your heartstrings in all the right places, and makes your chest warm, like honey. It makes you want to reach out to her, or pull her to the side and kiss her senseless, telling her repeatedly that Yes, Yes I feel the same way and see her sigh in relief and smile at you.

But you hold yourself back.

Keep reading

Who Are You: School 2015

I really want Tae Kwang and Eun Bi to be end game because he fell for Eun Bi as Eun Bi, he didn’t have these pre-feelings for Eun Byul. And not only are they just better for each other, Eun Bi and Yi Ahn would be wrong. Han Yi Ahn has been in love with Go Eun Byul for his entire life; their relationship has too much to just throw it all away and pretend Eun Bi is Eun Byul… you don’t love her, you love the girl whose face she has.

But the way that things are being shown, like the Eun Bi/Yi Ahn montage and the poster with the two of them holding hands and Tae Kwang to the side, makes it seem like they’re the main couple and Tae Kwang is the second lead.

I got really excited at the end of episode six with the whole “Can’t I be the one to call you by your real name” thing. They had that little special secret and she could finally have someone to go to and let her guard down with and hopefully some romance would blossom out of it.

But now I think Yi Ahn knows. And if he knows… I’m really worried it’s going to take one of the “I’m gonna be really mad and not talk to you anymore but then we’ll make up and fall in love in a couple episodes” tropes. 

But the Eun Bi and Tae Kwang interactions, and the smile they gave each other in episode seven…

I’m starting to feel like my only hope is that Go Eun Byul is really alive to end up with Han Yi Ahn and that way Lee Eun Bi can be with Gong Tae Kwang.

In conclusion: I invest way too much of my life into Korean dramas.

Caught - Barry Allen

I think we all know how much I love Grant as a human, so Grant as a superhero is just amazing. 

Also, is anyone here going to Sydney Supanova? I’m going with some friends and Danielle is going to that one :D I really want to meet her and get a photo!

Barry and I had never been good at keeping secrets or being discrete and today was no exception. We had snuck into work early to get away from the constant and watchful eye of Joe and Iris back at the house, who were always on high alert when it came to us, seeing as we had a tendency to make out on any surface that could hold our combined weight.
“Barry if Caitlin found out we were in here, she would literally kill us!” I whispered, looking around the lab nervously whilst still letting my overexcited boyfriend lead me to the ‘perfect make out spot’ as he put it.
“She won’t find us, I promise!” he waved off my worries, unlocking a door to a room I had never been in before.
“Where the hell are we?” I asked, squinting in an attempt to see into the dark room.
“I think they just use it as storage now, I found it a while back and realised that no one ever comes in here,” he grinned cheekily, flicking on the lights and tugging me into the dimly lit room, locking the door behind me.
“I swear to god Barry, if we get caught-“ I was cut off by him pressing his lips against mine, hands tightly gripping my hips. I melted into his touch, clinging onto his t-shirt and tilting my head slightly to give him better access. I felt him grin against my lips, obviously happy that I had decided to give in to my ‘Barry feels’. He gently tugged at my shirt, telling me that it need to come off. We broke away from the heated kiss, both of us ripping our shirts over our heads, eager to continue. He picked me up by my thighs, pushing my back against a wall as his lips attacked my neck, sucking hickey after hickey into the sensitive skin.
“Babe s-stop,” I moaned, chest rising rapidly. “People are go-gonna know.”
“Who cares,” he grunted, beginning to kiss up my jaw. I whimpered, arching my back into his chest.
“WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON IN HERE!” a loud voice shouted, making us both jump, turning to look at a fuming Caitlin who was standing in the doorway.
“Ummm…” I glanced at Barry nervously, moving my hands to cover my chest self consciously.
“Get dressed right now!” she demanded, stomping away from the room and muttering under her breath.
“Busted!!” Barry chuckled, placing me down on the floor, narrowly dodging my punch that was aimed for his shoulder.
“Don’t joke about this! She’s so pissed!” I huffed, throwing on my shirt in a rush to get out of the room. “Go deal with her.”
“Fine,” he frowned, rushing out of the room, still attempting to pull his shirt over his head. I walked after him, head bowed in shame, not daring the look anyone in the eyes. Barry was stood infront of a glaring Caitlin, a smirking Cisco and a confused Dr Wells, obviously about to receive a serious talking to. 


“Barry why in the world would you ever think you could do that here!” Caitlin threw her hands in the air, making me flinch. She very rarely ever got angry, but it was terrifying when she did.
“Well we can’t do anything at home and we have needs!” Barry shot back, fiddling with his shirt nervously.
“We don’t need anyone getting pregnant in here,” Cisco laughed, stopping when he realised that we were all glaring at him. He shuffled away, going into his lab to escape from the awkward atmosphere.
“Look just keep the PDA to a minimum and we don’t mind. We know how hard it is living with a Detective,” Dr Wells negotiated, giving us both a pointed look. Caitlin let out a sound of protest, obviously not happy with the agreement. “Dr Snow, I do believe you and Ronnie used to get in trouble for doing the exact same thing.”
“Fine,” she huffed, stomping of to her lab.
“Sooooooooooo, shall we continue where we left off,” Barry winked, making me slap him roughly in the chest.