and i just want more and more and more

Sunday ramblings

We’re not really far into the solo era, but I just feel like by way of observation and reading/watching interviews lately, that it’s clear that them being solo artists is truly what’s best, and I don’t want them to ever go back to being a band like they used to. 

Just to brush on a few things.. 

Liam said recently that in 1D they were meant to show relentless enthusiasm at all times, and never discuss any negative aspects of their experience - which we as fans saw and got annoyed over several times… Shit went down that was never acknowledged and/or apologized for. Lima also mentioned that they never stopped to celebrate what they’d done. It was non-stop. Harry noted a similar thing in his RS interview when he said that the 1D tours were like a Wes Anderson movie. Cut. Cut. New location. Quick cut. New location. Cut. Cut. Show. Shower. Hard cut. Sleep. (which we all saw.. Like, Zayn developed an eating disorder whilst in the band, Liam had serious issues with alcohol, the partying, the drugs (hi weed scandal) like, there was so much stuff going on at certain points.)  Harry also mentioned in the doc that after 5 years of pressure, he finally didn’t feel any of it. And he admitted in another interview that he realized he was exhausted. (The fact that you could never truly pick up on that because he always gave 110% at every show makes me just in awe of his loyalty and work-ethic.) Hats off to Niall, Liam and Louis too, they all worked so fucking hard. Niall even said that he wasn’t as exhausted as the rest of them at the end, like, what kind of superhuman lol.. 

I remember Jeff mentioning that he was baffled by Harry’s writing talent, and how he realized that the Harry in One D was kind of the digitized Harry. Almost like a character. And like Harry said: “I wanted to write my stories, things that happened to me. The number-one thing was I wanted to be honest. I hadn’t done that before.” That says it all.. I also feel like in the last year or so, it was so clear that Harry was ready for his own career… On the last tour the interactions with the other boys were minimal, esp compared to the tours before. Journos/writers noted the same thing in their concert reviews. He was the one that was a little outside of it all. Watching what happened between Louis and Harry’s friendship throughout the years because of the larries was straight up awkward as hell. The months before Zayn left was awkward to watch, and after he left, Lilo became super close. Niall got along with all of them I feel, but even now, Harry is the odd one out. He never used to hang out with them outside of 1D obligations and I don’t think they see or talk to Harry much now either. (despite what Niall says to please 1D fans :p.) When you think about it, Harry’s sooooo fucking different from esp Louis and Liam. But let me also make it clear that I think Harry loved being in 1D. Unlike others, (ahem Zebra) he will never bite the hand that fed him. He’ll never discredit that time.

From MM and onwards, Lilo teamed up in writing sessions and got their songs through. (Def prob easier as a twosome.) Louis and Lima are loud and opinionated too, so I can only imagine some of those song discussions. (Not taking away from Lilo’s songwriting talent here, just looking at the big picture). Harry noted recently that he felt interrupted in the band as well. (super surprising lol) Interviews were often a mess, and the only one who had respect for Harry in those scenarios were Niall imo. 

After Harry left the band he took some time off to feel bored he said, but realized fast that he was dying to be in the studio again, ‘cause he had so much he wanted to say. And I think a huge part of that stemmed from him not being able to take time on lyrics and really write. An album a year, writing on the road, Lilo teaming up, with other hired writers putting their touches on each song, I think all of it hindered him to an extent. And Harry said in a recent interview that it def was weird to go into a writing session with strangers trying to be honest. And I think that’s partly why he was so anxious to get back in the saddle, why he was ready fairly quickly and why he was the first one to drop a solo album. He’d been writing for himself, planning, and building up for that moment for a long time. Maybe since he proposed the idea of them taking a break in late 2014. 

Another thing worth noting, in the Behind The Album doc is that he was SO fucking excited that he was in charge. His ideas were listened to. He was the boss, for the first time ever. When they said “Let’s first do Harry’s idea for” and Harry went “yeah, and then we’ll do Harry’s idea for something else, then after that, we’ll do another one of Harry’s ideas!”, like yeah he was joking around, but I also feel like that said so much.. And we can all get it, being in a band, like he said, every single decision was made in a democracy, and it was just time for him to make the desicions. To be a little scared.

And everyone can see the pure joy that’s Harry now. He’s soooooo happy. On stage, in interviews, everywhere. He has an energy now that is just amazing to see, he’s got that extra little spark that I didn’t see the last year or so in 1D. In Harry’s own words: “I’m having the time of my life working this [solo career] out.” and that’s clear as day. I also thought of when Cameron Crowe said that Harry couldn’t WAIT to start his interview with him. That he called him up and was SO enthusiastic, like practically giddy. And this quote from Harry is so heart-warming too. “There was something about playing the album and how happy I was that told them, [his parents] ‘If all I get is to make this music, I’m content.” ❤️ Like he stated in the doc too, he’s totally okay with not being on the level that he was in 1D again. 

And it goes for all the boys you know. I don’t follow their careers closely, but I’ve noted that they’ll all said they’re really happy that they went on this break and that they’re loving the freedom and being solo now, so it’s all good. They all look happy and well. And they’re all doing good which is nice to see. 

So yeah, just some Sunday night thoughts :) 

the fallout ‘blacksmithing’ perk is so pathetic, it just lets you duct tape or glue things like saw blades or even a small rocket (?) onto a sledge hammer or drive nails into a baseball bat. I like a good ol nail bat as much as the next girl but give me:

  • rebar ax
  • railway spike dagger
  • crowbar pick
  • the lumberfucker saw blade blade
  • spring steel razor or stiletto
  • good ol’ file knives

Just any evidence that the people of this world actually make new things out of the wealth of readily made materials that the old world aggregated in their proxmity. Rather than just re-using things as-is or looking for eternally ‘improvised’ weapons.

4

This is how it starts: you don’t know anything.

You are blissfully, painfully unaware of the repercussions when Jenna drunkenly beckons you over to her corner in Jake’s kitchen.

“Jeremy, I have something to tell you,” she slurs, giggling. The party’s loud and crowded around them, so you lean in to hear her clearly. “So don’t freak out.” Before you can even respond, she blurts, “Michael’s in love with you.”

“What?” You blink, processing that statement. “Michael Mell? My best friend Michael?”

“Duh,” she says.

Nothing about that information makes sense. “I think you’ve got this all wrong,” you start, but Jenna cuts you off by shoving her phone in your face. You can see the most recent string of texts from Michael, and they’re all about you. They’re about how he’s charmed by your smile, how he’s worried that you don’t sleep enough, how he’s thinking about finally asking you out after all.

“Seriously,” Jenna says, shaking her head at the look on your face. “How could you not know? He’s so obvious.”

You can’t help but ask, “Who else knows?”

“Everybody,” Jenna says, and your heart sinks. “You didn’t think it was weird that every time you came to sit with us, somebody’d move so you could sit next to him?”

You didn’t, but now that she’s pointed it out, you recognize the pattern. Now that you’re thinking about it, there’s been increasingly frequent occurrences of Michael sitting beside you while everybody else in your friend group shares sly smiles or significant looks. There’s always been Michael, smiling warmly, welcoming your complaints about homework, his hands inches from yours.

“You guys will be cute together,” Jenna says, and she’s too drunk too care when you leave to have a panic attack in the bathroom.

-

Jenna doesn’t remember your conversation the next day. You wish you didn’t.

-

This is how it goes: you don’t know how to keep the things you love.

And you love Michael, you do, but not the way he apparently loves you. He wants to ask you out, to take you out on dates, to kiss you, to do so many things that you have never considered doing with him.

You consider it now. You consider it for days. You love spending time with Michael already. You think you could hold hands with him. Maybe you could kiss him, too. Could you do more than that?

Sitting beside Michael in the cafeteria, laughing at his jokes, watching the twinkle in his eyes grow brighter at your laughter, you know all your considerations are for moot. You know you can’t say yes, if he asks.

But you don’t want to say no.

You don’t want to hurt him like that. You don’t love Michael the way he loves you, but you still love him too much to break his heart. You love him too much to lose him.

-

“Hey, game night at my place this Friday?” Michael asks, nudging your arm.

You deliberately keep yourself from leaning into his touch. You’ve been keeping your distance for a while. “Nah, man. Dad’s taking me to see some colleges this weekend, remember?”

“Right.” The sight of Michael’s shoulders slumping turns your insides a little colder. You’ve been living with ice in your veins ever since that one party, that one conversation. “Dude, I feel like we haven’t been hanging out a lot these days.”

“We’ll hang out when we’re less busy,” you promise, and you think your lies and truths all taste the same nowadays.

-

You don’t know how to keep the people you love. You don’t know if you’re making the worst choice. You don’t know anything. You wish you still didn’t know.

If you spend less time with Michael, he won’t have an opportunity to ask you out. It’s a flimsy plan but you think it works anyway. You miss him, but this is the only way to keep him. At least this way, you can’t reject Michael. Can’t break his heart.

-

Every day, you hope he falls out of love with you.

-

You avoid spending too much time alone with him, avoid too much physical contact with him, avoid looking him in the eye more and more.

Michael slowly stops asking to spend more time privately with you. You spend less time with him and your friends, because you’re scared that he’ll ask you in front of everybody, because you’re weary from the guilt eating you up inside-out, because you’re still scared of losing him once and for all.

You don’t know how to stop Michael’s eyes from shuttering with disappointment or how to love him or how to admit that you just might be making the wrong choice. You don’t know if it’d be better off to tell him that you know, if saying no would be better than saying nothing.

You don’t know if he’s already fallen out of love with you. If you’ve already broken his heart.

-

This is how it ends: you try so hard to keep Michael, and that’s how you lose him.

What would have made this finale awesome, was if right before Scott had to gouge his eyes out, that monster took on the face of Allison. It did the whole void Stiles thing which was sad, but it would have been waaaaay worse if Scott had to hear her voice and fight the urge to look.


THAT AND I JUST WANTED TO SEE MY GIRL AGAIN

anonymous asked:

Hey, are you listening to any other podcasts ? If so could you recommend me any? (I already tried Alice isn't dead but I couldn't get into it and waiting twice a month for wtnv is too much)

Hey!

I am listening to far too many other podcasts in all honesty, and am more than happy to recommend some!

There is a tab on this blog with a (/cough/ incomplete /cough/) list of podcasts that I am listening to, though that is just a mess of all sorts of genres. I’ll recommend some of the fictional, more WTNV-esque podcasts here!

EOS 10
The adventures of misguided individuals in space with added arguments. A really great podcast that I keep meaning to relisten to, as the characters are so genuine with their flaws. Warning on addictions. 

SAYER
SAYER is an intelligent, morally questionable AI that has been tasked with keeping a space-based human colony up and running. They are alarmingly good at their job, no matter the cost.

The Adventure Zone
Funny, heartfelt Dungeons and Dragons podcast from the Mcelroys. The first few episodes are the usual D&D sort of fair, but it gets incredibly good once the Dungeon Master kicks in with his own storylines!

Thrilling Adventure Hour
Had a crossover episode with WTNV. Live performances done in the style of old timey radio shows with several recurring series, such as a sheriff on Mars and two married mediums who are fond of a drink or two.

Wolf 359
Influenced by Welcome to Night Vale, which is evident in some of the early writing, but really comes into it’s own in terms of both characters and plot. Starts off as the humorous mistakes of a ragtag crew in space, and suddenly gets extremely storydriven in the best way.

I’m so scared of not doing good on assignments and failing tests that it’s just not making college enjoyable at all. I just want to learn and enjoy it but I just can’t. All I’m doing is studying to pass tests and quizzes. Do people actually ever enjoy college or is that just a myth? 

Reloading the page to see if t h a t fic updates but not saying anything bc I don’t want to bother the author like

Originally posted by suzyhazelwood

I’m so frustrated because I really love writing, and writing is so cathartic for me which I really need right now, but every time I try and write I either don’t finish it or I don’t think it’s good enough or both.

I have so many ideas, so many half-finished fics sitting on my hard drive, but I just can’t do anything with them.

If anyone has any advice please let me know.