and i just ordered more you guys

you go with ya mates to a diner. they all like fries, but you much prefer pizza. “we all like fries, let’s order a ton of fries,” dave says, and you don’t tell them you like pizza. so you eat fries. they’re not terrible, but you’re not fussed. 

this goes on for about forty years, eating fries every night, until you say, “actually, guys, i like pizza. maybe we could order some of that for a change?” and they tell you that fries are normal so you will all eat fries. a few years later, they start putting ketchup on the fries. “see?” they say. “this is much cooler. you will like this.” but the ketchup does’t make the fries taste anymore like pizza. 

“what if we have pizza just one night a week?” you suggest. it seems fair to you, but the other disagree. “there are more of us, and we all like fries. so we should eat fries all the time,” they say.

another few decades pass this way. “aren’t you getting sick of fries?” you ask. “even if you like pizza less, don’t you at least want a little variation?” they laugh. they say that there are lots of different sauces and salts for fries, and that is variation enough. “if we ate pizza one night a week, our kids might think it was okay to eat pizza! imagine!”

“what if we ordered a whole platter of fries, and one bit of pizza? that way, everyone’s happy.” you’d like more than one piece, but you don’t say so.
“no,” they say, like they always do. 

then, one day, the waiter brings you a small, burned slice. it still looks amazing, incredible after decades and decades of fries. just as he’s about to hand it to you, he takes it away. “i know i said i’d bring pizza, but instead i’ve got you fries. everybody likes fries,” he says.

finally, you get a slice. it’s pretty gross. nowhere near the quality of the fries. but you don’t complain, because the chef has never had to make pizza before, and you will give him time to learn.

most years, you still get nothing but fries, with the occasional undercooked sliver of pizza. “if you could learn to make good fries, you could make good pizza,” you say. “it isn’t hard. there are plenty of people who would be happy to teach you. and all the people who like pizza would come to your diner.” but the chef insists on making more fries.

at last, after another ten years, you get a decent slice. it’s not everything you every dreamed - it’s not cheesy and gooey and brightly flavoured - but it’s so much better than every fry you’ve ever had. you get one bite before karen takes it out of your hand, and grabs a bite too. “karen,” you say, “that’s my pizza.” she giggles, “i know. i’m so bad, right? look at everyone else eating fries. and you and i with this pizza. we’re so naughty.” you tell her you actually just like the pizza, and would like it back. “if you like pizza, why didn’t you order some? or say you liked it too all those years i tried to make the group order it?” you demand. karen shrugs. “i don’t really like pizza,” she tells you, and then the waiter comes and takes it away before you get another mouthful.

they never add pizza to the menu. you have to know to ask for it, and even then, you mostly don’t get it. 

nearly a century after you first came to the diner, the waiter starts bringing a small piece of pizza to you a couple of nights a month. the others always groan loudly. “why is there so much pizza here?” they yell, around all the fries in their mouths. “it’s like every day, pizza. what about the fry fans?”

five guys is so primal, so animalistic

they give you a cup filled with fries, then dump even MORE fries in with your meal, all contained within a shitty paper bag. but i just keep coming back because it’s always delicious!! the cashier could just spit in my face and call me every insult under the sun and i would be back the next week ordering a bacon double cheeseburger buried under my mountain of fries and peanuts

Say That Again

Summary: Soulmate AU. Everyone hears a key word or phrase in their head from their soulmate, something only heard in person when the moment is right.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Word Count: 2,543

Warnings: language, self-consciousness, fluff, that’s basically it

A/N: This is my submission for the lovely wonderful talented @bladebarnes’ 2k Celebration Challenge. My prompt was 35. quote: “Say that again.” I saw Baby Driver recently and couldn’t get the diner thing out of my head.

Originally posted by coporolight

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5

Hi there guys, gals and non-binary pals!! I’m Agniya, a soon-to-graduate graphic design college student and freelance artist by trade. 

As many of you already know, Charley and I been dating for almost a year already, but haven’t had a chance to meet in person yet due to money issues (Charley just moved and I’ve been paying for college solely by myself until just now). 

I live in Russia and he is in the USA, more than 4500 miles and an ocean apart. So in order for us to meet, we’ll need to cover expenses such as traveling visa fee, plane tickets, hotel reservations and many others. 

Charley is an aspiring voice actor, you may know him from an improv dubbing project Real-Time Fandub ( @cooldude618 ) and Ace Attorney Anime Abridged ( @aaaaseries ). His voice acting blog is @popelickva and he’s currently taking voice acting commissions. 

He means the world to me and we can’t wait to meet each other, so please consider commissioning either (or even both!) of us. Even if you can’t - reblogs are always appreciated!! ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ 

If you’re interested in my commissions please send me an e-mail here rakurakutomo@gmail.com, see more examples in my art tag

Rules are under the cut:

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Don’t know how I managed to keep this project a secret for this long, but-

SURPRISE!!!

Now you can see my custom-designed SQUIP in action, YAYYY! 
The Squip Enters was a perfect practice opportunity for me because it’s under a minute (49 secs,to be exact) and it calls for creative visual effects as well as a wide range of emotions in order to the scene to play-out properly.
I hope I did it justice! Let me know what you guys think.

For two years I worked as an island clearer.  You know those small, fancy, artificial islands off the coast of the Dubai?  Well, every once in a while someone rich would order a customized island in the shape of their choosing.  Maybe it’s a rose for their wife or a face or a turtle.  So the other guys go in with their sand, make the island to the shape required, and then the client is called and told that their custom island is completed.  But sometimes the client says they don’t want the island any more.  That’s where I came in.  Our company was never mad - I mean, in this high-profile island generating industry, you have to be customer-centric.  Just because someone doesn’t want a custom island now doesn’t mean they don’t want one later.

Anyway, my job was to go in with this ship that basically looked like it was half-bulldozer half-barge and clear all the sand off the top until it sunk back beneath the waves and disappeared forever.  I was the only person in the company who knew how to do this job correctly, and I presume the only person in the world as well.  Sure, the island builders could make the island, but they were absolutely pathetic at clearing them. So I guess you could say I had job security.  Anyway, that wasn’t important.  What was important was that I had fun doing it and helped improve the world. Follow your passions!  You never know what great treasures life has in store for you.

rickmorty fic rec list

hey! here it is! that fic rec list i said i was gonna do for 200 followers, and yet here i am…at 473 followers HAHAHAHA just a liiitle late there – seriously tho, thank you all! this is such a chill and supportive community~

just a couple notes on the list: i decided to narrow it down to 30, which made things more difficult than i expected(there’s just soo many good ones, guys!); i didn’t want to include more than two fics from a single writer; i included series, but only if the stories were interconnected; for a couple of the series that didn’t have overall summaries i just used the summary from the first fic in the series, and one fic didn’t have a description at all, so i ended up using the first sentence, since it seemed to fit; these are in completely random order.

some of these are obvious picks (basically classics), but hopefully you’ll find something new or interesting! i absolutely love every one of these! thank you to all the writers for being so amazing, and bringing me so much joy (and tears) with these fics!!

Whiskey And Water by firstbornking

cov·et

1. desire wrongfully, inordinately, or without due regard for the rights of others.
2. yearn to possess or have.

In which Rick and Morty get separated on the Citadel, Rick’s patience is tried and Morty suffers the consequences of his own poor judgement.

Just a Palmful of Elbow Grease by lemonsweet

Morty encounters some difficulties while attempting to smuggle some inter-dimensional contraband for his grandfather.

It occurrs to Rick that Morty is taking an awfully long time in the bathroom.

Honey And Vinegar by firstbornking

ma·nip·u·late

1. handle or control (a tool, mechanism, etc.), typically in a skillful manner.
2. control or influence (a person or situation) cleverly, unfairly, or unscrupulously.

In which Rick and Morty take another spin on the cycle of abuse, Rick is shameless and Morty is broken down one ‘I love you’ at a time.

When the Night is Long by Breadalby

Morty has nightmares and coping issues. Rick mocks and subsequently consoles him the only way he knows how.

It Cages a Demon by TripleX_Tyrant

When Rick captures a powerful being from a demonic dimension - a demon with the ability to devour thoughts - Morty’s consciousness is pulled into the demon’s cage. Rick must go in after him before Morty’s consciousness is completely consumed. But this isn’t what the inside of the cage should look like. And if Rick wants to save Morty, he’ll have to survive in a place where paths are unclear and monsters manifest.

Rick knew his own mind was complex. But he wasn’t ready for this.

Frick the Rick by mariachiMushroom

Rick realizes he and Morty are in a fanfic, and the only way to finish the story is to have sex.

Miami Rick and Morty by AndersAndrew and futagogo

That night, they’d narrowly escaped a mob of pissed-off mafiosos that Rick owed money.
Morty laid his head on the old man’s thigh as they drove, enjoying the quiet and the feel of Rick’s delicate fingers through his bleach-blond hair.

“With this much cash, the universe is our oyster, MoOURGHty!” Rick exclaimed.

“I just want to dance.”

Morty’s Are Only A Reflection Of Their Ricks by KallikRose

“This Morty has seen everything… but has yet to feel the warmth of a loving touch.”

Three eye Morty has been through hell. After his parents divorce, Summer running away and Rick dying of a heart attack, Morty takes Ricks portal gun and goes on the run. He becomes a hitman on an alien planet just to get by. But what happens when years later he’s offered a ton of money to kill a Rick that he eventually falls for?

The Citadel of Lost Children by futagogo


The origin story of The One True Morty.
 

Rick and Morty Get Real by JenKristo

Right before leaving for college, Morty confesses that he’s attracted to Rick, and Rick turns him down flat. Only, Rick can’t stop thinking about it. They both look for answers through interdimensional travel, alcohol and experimentation. Plus, with Morty returning home for Thanksgiving break, they’re going to have to face each other.

Slow Dancing on Hot Coals by rickandmortygetschwifty

Rick and Morty have a serious disagreement about the state of their relationship.

Fethishizing the Extraordinary by berlitzschen

In a panel, Justin Roiland said that Beth “fetishizes the extraordinary” and said something else to the effect that Beth wants Morty to be extraordinary like her father, and values it above anything else. This, coupled with wives commonly responding with tolerance and forgiveness when they find out their spouses molested their child, made me think Beth might not actually throw Rick out if she were to discover them.

So here’s a fic about all the fucked up shit that implies, undercutting an otherwise fairly senseless story about Rick and Morty’s relationship.

Death shall have no dominion by too_much_pressure_for_a_username

“You d-don’t have a clue w-what love is, Morty,” Rick tells him. “You’re not c-capable of loving anything b-besides yourself and, and your c-creepy little stuffed animals.”
There’s something about the way Rick says this, something hollow and dead that tells him Rick isn’t lying or trying to get back at him for lashing out. The wild anger has dissipated. And if Rick isn’t saying this because he’s mad at Morty…
…Then he’s saying it because he really believes it.

college morty by dadvans

Morty hasn’t seen Rick in three years. Rick needs Morty’s fingerprints. Rick always needs more than he asks for.

All Yours by a_side_of_sin

From day one, Rick had always been blindingly clear on the nature of their relationship.

Feel You In My Bones by E707

There would have been nothing unusual about the dreams at all, really, if Morty hadn’t woken after each and every one with a fierce and unrelenting erection.

life is sweeter when it’s wrapped in debauchery by gaily-daily

C-622 Morty runs through the wrong portal, and because the universe loves dramatic irony, he ends up in a college dorm room where Rick and Stanford are roommates. Unfortunately (or fortunately??) Rick takes a liking to him.

Morty’s Ricksicion by Dapperstiel and Pretty_Princess_Sheep

Overly intoxicated, Rick comes onto Morty, leaving the two at odds. Unknown to Morty, his decision on how to deal with Rick will drastically alter the future, creating two alternate realities, and two possible endings.

RickMorty TrashPile by trashfreak

Rick gets what he wants. Morty learns to like giving it to him.

a whole world in here by laskofresho

“I’m lonely, Rick,” he mumbled.

“It’s a pretty big, lonely existence out there, Morty.”

Another You by The-Clairvoyant-Rick

Morty shifted nervously, unable to meet the eyes of the man who looked so much like his grandfather, “W-what can I-I-I get for $85?” Morty pulled a wad of crumpled bills from his jeans, trembling from the adrenaline of what he was asking.

A tell-tale grin curved the blue haired man’s lips into a predatory smirk before he leaned down, smoothly pocketing the bills, his breath tickling the shell of Morty’s ear, “48 minutes of whatever the fuck you want.”

The Great Rick-xup by mariachiMushroom

During a routine “resource acquisition” mission, C-136 Rick gets his Morty switched with B-290 Rick’s Morty. The B-290 Rick and Morty just so happen to be in a sexual relationship. Hilarity ensues.

You Know Where To Find Me by The-Clairvoyant-Rick

As much of an asshole as Rick was, as manipulative and cruel and downright hurtful as the man could be, especially to him, Rick wasn’t a rapist, and he never had been. If Morty said stop, if he told Rick to stop touching him and to get off, he knew his grandpa would listen. He knew Rick would walk away from him. And that’s precisely why he’d never say it. No matter how much it hurt, no matter how badly Morty wanted to shove him away and tell Rick to fuck off, he couldn’t. Because if he did, the older man would listen, and that’d be the end.

Sticks and Stones by JenKristo

Evil Morty has experienced a lifetime of suffering under the hands of Ricks. But when he’s assigned to a pure and gentle ‘Doofus’ Rick, he begins to question his purpose in life.

Baby, I’m Yours by sinbiscuit

Morty discovers the power of language. Specifically, one little word.

The Universe’s Lullaby by ferretpaws

It’s the universe’s lullaby and he drowns in it.

Dazed and Rickfused by KousKousx

He had kissed Rick–he just had to fucking kiss him, out of whatever desperation that was suffocating him–and he was afraid things would never be the same.

Fads by KousKousx

Even with the divide, all Rick’s of differing opinions and decrees agreed on one thing: what a Rick did with his Morty was that Rick’s business, and that Rick’s business alone.

The Device by simplescribe

Rick stood swaying slightly in the doorway to Morty’s room, silhouetted by the hallway light behind him, a gaunt looming figure framed by the door. He blinked blearily, colours and shapes fuzzing and blending together, reaching a hand out to steady himself on the doorframe. His heart was thudding in his chest, and he reached instinctively for his flask even though he really didn’t need it. A quick shake revealed it was empty anyway. Of course it was.

Devour by cakeboobs

Rick and Morty AU - Dimension F-212 : Rick is a world-famous chef, owning his own exclusive restaurant and widely known for some of the best food in the galaxy. Morty is a young, talented, prodigy chef, making food that is so delectable it inspires powerful emotions in those who consume it. Rick takes Morty under his wing as his apprentice, and between crazy ingredient-hunting adventures, and long, hot days in the restaurant kitchen, Morty develops a crush on his selfish, chain-smoking, gorgeous chef grandfather.



BONUS(this one isn’t actually a rickmorty fic so it’s not cheating lol):

A little problem by 5bluetriangles

Morty has trouble with waking up in the middle of night needing to pee and not making it to the bathroom. Rick has a plan to help him that Morty was not expecting.

Park Chanyeol//The Rhythm of Hate - Part 1

Summary: You hate each other, even though you’re soulmates. You try and stay away from each other, but a shared course and a project is determined to keep you two facing off. (Part 1/Part 2)
Scenario: Soulmate!AU, college!AU
Word Count: 5,924

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Road Trip || c.h

tbfh i was writing car sex w/ cal but i deleted it bc i thought it was trash omg (i dont think this was amazingly written, pls forgive me ;[)

Warning: this is fucking l o n g. 

I M A G I N E [SMUT]

“Baby.” You heard a soft voice call to you in your head. You were sleeping soundly, until this voice kept sounding in your head. Your eyes fluttered open slowly, introducing you to the dimly lit car. The car stumbled upon a bump, allowing you to float in air for just a moment. 

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artpills-blog  asked:

Hello Natalia c: Had a time of my life browsing through your blog and reading all the headcanons and au ideas. I really am amazed about how you come up with so interesting things c: Actually I read your reply about wizarding schools and got interested if you have any ideas / headcanons about russian school? потому что факты, написанные Роулинг меня скорее насмешили c: anyway wishing you lots of inspiration and good luck with art, you're doing great :D p/s those hogwarts uniform design is superb

(Tell me about it, lmao. One thing I absolutely cannot stop being salty about is how in Quidditch Through the Ages she mentions a Russian Chaser whose name is Petrova Porskoff, which makes zero sense because Petrova and Porskoff are both surnames. Did you even try, Jo.)

So, headcanons! I have a few:

  • Following the tradition of wizarding schools being hidden in mountain areas, I think its location would be somewhere in the Urals.
  • No house system, obviously, but having heard rumours about Hogwarts I feel like students would still jokingly sort themselves into them just to take the piss.
  • They do student exchange program with Durmstrang, the closest other wizarding school. 
  • The school also has house elves, although here they’re called domovye. They also can’t disobey wizards’ orders, but if you wrong a domovoi in any way, his place may be taken by kikimora instead, who’s more of a poltergeist that causes disarray. So if you don’t want your dormitory to become a den of chaos, you better treat those guys with respect.
  • Three-headed dragon from slavic mythology? Is actually a Runespoor and Dragon crossbreed that’s banned in other countries. The mountain range is a source of valuable minerals, so the dragons guard temporary vaults in there. That’s why the mountains around the school are somewhat akin Hogwarts’ Forbidden Forest, which means also dangerous and restricted. Doesn’t stop some reckless students from doing little expeditions now and then, though. 
  • This entire thing about Russian wizards flying entire uprooted trees instead of broomsticks seems a little bit, how do I say it… over the top. A bit too much. Although I can totally see it happening in, like, rural areas, countryside away from big cities where it’s easier to uproot a small birch tree rather than acquire a decent broom.
  • Speaking of wizarding means of transportation. Baba Yaga, a witch from traditional slavic folklore, flies around in a mortar while wielding a pestle (some illustrators depict her wielding a broom though). I really like this as an alternative to a broomstick, people flying long distances in those giant mortars carved from big oak tree stumps.

anonymous asked:

If you were to advise young girls on what to look out for in guys, what would some of the things be?

typically my advice is to stay away from men for as long as possible. Odds are that the majority you run into, will hinder your growth. So my advice is to look out for men, rather than look for anything in them.

Cultivate your self-esteem, your passions, become financially independent.

Cultivating self-esteem: i can’t stress this enough, it must be there before you go near men. Most men will damage your self-esteem. It doesn’t even have to be deliberate on their part. It can be something like them not responding to your communication needs and you will turn that inwards, and see that as reflecting your self-worth.

My advice to brown girls is typically the same as well. To build those things first. But then i guess, reluctantly, I do advise them to date. Because they will often be discouraged from dating. And in my experience, no woman from our cultures has managed to get away with not being paired to a man without breaking ties, no matter her initial reluctance. And your parents pickings will definitely be far worse, in that the aim of parents choosing for you (whether anyone admits it or not) is to continue patriarchal control over you.

So coming to what to look for in men:

1) look for how he reacts when you disagree with him. This is the biggest thing imo. Does he get irritated. Does he budge. If he does budge is it reluctant “I guess you’re right”. Do things seem to always be followed by a but. What you want is someone who is impressed and admires you. Not someone who is annoyed that you know better or more, because that would mean he wants to maintain himself above you. Also, men can admire you for being intelligent or opinionated but still manage to reduce you for it: either objectify you or infantilize you. E.g., aw its so cute she knows a lot. OR it’s hot that she knows a lot. Avoid  both. 

2) is the conversation conducive: it’s more than if he is just listening to you and can regurgitate what you’ve told him about yourself. Does the convo have a flow. Do you get to say what you want. Does he hear you out, ask questions, show interest.. or is he just waiting for an entry point in the convo where he can insert himself in order to relate to you. Because the first one feels wholesome whereas the latter, while okay, will make you feel empty in the long run. 
(and i personally like it when i have said what I want, and the guy still stays quiet on the topic until I ask him so ‘what about you’. I like it when they are quiet and don’t speak unless instructed.. this applies for any men in my life not just dating  lmao but anyway)

3) look for how he talks about other women.. what it is that he talks about when he talks about women. Look at how he looks at other women. Ask him about the women he has been attracted to and how he became attracted to them/what about them he liked. Ask this for real women. Ask this about fictional women. Always be mindful of whether he is objectifying women or not. If he is objectifying women, he’s not capable of real love so forget it. How to know whether he is objectifying women or not? Ask yourself if you or any women you have known would become attracted to a man in the same way/same scenario that he is describing to you.

4) Porn, dominance & attraction: this one is by far the hardest for me to describe. It does go in with #3, about how they talk about women. You can ask the guy about his current porn use, age at first exposure. What he thinks about and gets off to lol. But I have found that they give it away in their verbal language and body language. Like the example of the guy I talked about who I had asked who he was attracted to/ if he ever found someone sexually attractive that he did not find emotionally attractive. And he mentioned his boss and then told me how he did fantasize about her, then goes “you know when you wanna put someone in their place….. oh you don’t know??” If a guy “falls for you” real fast, to me that is an indication of him having objectified you. Love takes getting to know. If he seems to have a “type”, i am personally weary of those men. Any type at all. A body type, even a personality type. Because they still manage to reduce women into categories. You cannot and should not fall in love with a category!

5) how he makes you feel about yourself: related to the above. It’s his responsibility to make you feel good about yourself. I have stated elsewhere that I believe, that unless a woman has clinical type self-esteem issues, the average woman’s self-esteem issues in a relationship actually stem from their male partner’s failures. Their male partner is either objectifying other women which comes across subtly in conversations or the way they behave. So if you are not feeling good about yourself while you are with him, you’re not crazy. He is shit. 

6) age old how he treats others: how does he treat people in the service industry. Does he get annoyed when his food at the restaurant takes longer. Life is a game of patience, and he won’t live if he doesn’t have any.

7) sense of responsibility: does he pick up after others. Not just himself. But others. This is observed. But also you can tell from the stories he tells you. What does he do for others? It’s the kind of thing where eg., the house phone rings, who has to go for it or else it goes unanswered? Would he put the dishes in the sink or leave them around for someone else to pick up?

8) what is he telling you about himself: related to above.. When we tell stories, we all want something taken away from them about ourselves. What is he trying to get across? Most men’s stories are about a display of power and dominance, rather than having been helpful. Take notice!

9) How he relates to other men and things deemed feminine: does he have a lot of guy friends (these men are a lost cause lmao). If he tries to distance himself from anything that is related to women, stay away from that man. E.g., he doesn’t watch click flicks… or  watches them cos they are good to watch when you don’t want to think so much. Also relating to #3, you can also check that from how he views female characters in movies, TV shows and books. If he sees their perspective or not. I remember one guy told me that robot girl from ex-machina was crazy, and that’s all he had to say, and i wanted to bash his head in cos of how dumb his thoughts on the movie were….. If he can’t see from the female perspective in shows and books where it is literally spelled out, he lacks emotional depth and empathy. 

I can’t think of more. Over the years I have mentioned quite a few as I came across! But I haven’t interacted much with men as of late so it’s not so fresh anymore. Just look for any display of dominance and dehumanization, both in words and in actions. I do have an advice tag

GHOUL ORIGINS

I just noticed something. Remember the circles on the clothing of the 24th Ward residents…?

They fuckin match the eyes on Kaneki!

So I’m thinking, if his eyes resemble embryos up-close, and we’re hearing all this business over and over about birthing something only by means of “breaking the eggshell” (destroying in order to create)…

I think we’re being handed the origin of ghouls without even knowing. Those people in the 24th ward may have been born from a kakuja’s “eyes” too.


To start, the bodies pouring out of one of Kaneki’s eyes are too numerous to only be the Oggai, and instead they appear to be manifestations those children he killed. They may not be more than highly-detailed kagune.

And, if you remember, all the “kids” in the 24th Ward had white hair, just like those bodies. 

If the 24th ward people and the empty dolls above are the same, it leads us to the concept of the Nagaraj gaving “birth” to them just like Kaneki did. They definitely seem to be more than walking, talking kagune, but really, after what we’ve seen with reanimation and cloning, at what point does the kagune stop and the person begin? Can a ghoul give their kagune sentience? The ability to learn and think for itself…?

Do all these little husks of children need in order to be “real” is have a little life blown into them? A kakuhou of their own?


In regards to origins, I immediately thought of something Roma said:

THE CHICKEN CAME FIRST.

I’m going to water this down to the very basics, but hopefully you guys can follow me:

If we go as far back as possible on the evolutionary tree to find a link between humans and ghouls, I think we’d find something like a proto-kakuhou. Maybe it looked like an Red Child cell. Maybe the little proto-kakuhou needed nourishment and couldn’t find any… so, in a last-ditch effort, it eats itself.

Bing bang boom- it survives, divides, and creates two! Then those two eat themselves and create four. Then eight, sixteen, and so fourth. At this point, ghouls and humans are one species relying on each other for survival while evolving upwards for some millennia. But, eventually, the eating-of-themselves starts to only lean to one side, as the other evolves to have an ever-smaller and smaller kakuhou. 

** Side note: keep in mind that the 24th Warders believed themselves to be human even though they have kagune. They don’t differentiate themselves from ghouls, let alone know what they are. If Nagaraj began as a human, too, then it’s natural those people believe they were created in that image.

Now they’re two species.

Ghouls (while still carrying the genes to develop a kakuhou) continue to rely purely on concentrations of RC cells to survive. They even evolved the ability to shape their weapons to hunt in a million ways to help them trap and snare and kill. Humans, however, have evolved to get their nutrients from a variety of sources.

That’s all good and fun so long humans (those “thinking pigs”) are able to fight back… until the scale tips. If ghouls are backed into a corner (like they are now), they begin to eat their own species. And if a ghoul eats their own species, their RC cells twist and morph and multiply by the thousands to create a kakuja. 

…And if a kakuja-laden kakuhou absorbs one too many RC cells, all with the same exact genetic code of themselves…?

…just like that proto-kakuhou— like that first RC cell that could only eat itself…

it multiplies

And thus, as Furuta put it, “life is born from chaos”.

That’s why I think Kaneki is following the footsteps of the Nagaraj. That’s what I think Eto meant by giving this world a “hard reset”. It’s all cycles within cycles within cycles. All we need to see are those bodies that came spilling out of Kaneki to come to life in order to confirm it. 

Hot Chocolate

warnings: possible second hand embarrassment 

words: 1,201

pairing: peter parker x reader

request: ok ok how about an au where the reader works at a restaurant or something and peter comes in there a lot JUST TO SEE HER

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bakery au (oldie but a goodie)

Part 1

“He hates me,” Bitty moaned, flopping on his couch. Holster was raiding his kitchen, listening to his rant about Jack Zimmermann.

“I don’t even know what I did wrong! Maybe it was because I told him that he played a hard game last night the first time he came into the bakery? All he does is glare at me and say stuff like ‘Eric, the coffee is too sweet,’ or ‘Eric, you need more protein.’”

“Brah, maybe Zimmermann just has a total resting bitch face,” said Holster as he pulled out a leftover pie from Bitty’s fridge. “Guy seems fucking intense. At least he’s good for business.”

“He keeps on glaring at me! And he comes in, like, three times a week. Orders a coffee and just drinks it in his corner, ignores my attempts at conversation even though, mind you, he has already said some pretty rude stuff!”

“The guy’s a celebrity, he probably has his head so far in his ass and doesn’t care about shit, and also just wants some privacy. Bits, you haven’t been taking pictures of him and posting it on twitter have you?” Holster asked, alarmed.

Bitty gasped, “Adam Birkholtz! I would never!”

“Then just treat him like an antisocial customer, he can’t be the only one going to the bakery who doesn’t want conversation and just wants service and food,” Holster said, dropping down next to Bitty on the couch with two tins of pie.

“I know,” Bitty sighs. “He’s just…so handsome. And he was so nice to Nursey when that fool tripped. And he tips generously. And he’s just so gorgeous, even when he’s glaring at me and speaking in grunts whenever I ask him how his day has been. I just want him to like me!”

Holster navigated the TV to a rerun of Golden Girls and handed Bitty one of the pie tins. “I think that’s your problem. You’re an amazing person, Bits, but maybe you can be a bit too friendly for resting bitch face robozoid Zimmermann. Maybe stop asking him about his day and just let him chill.”

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anonymous asked:

michael, have you tried to talk to your player one?

I don’t even know if I should. I mean… Yeah, I miss him a bunch, but he made it pretty clear he didn’t want to keep in touch after high school. 

Even if I did want to talk to him again, which I really… really do, I don’t even have any way to contact him. His phone number changed and— wait what? 

Hold on a second. How are ALL of you guys in contact with him??? And I still don’t know how all of you know him in the first place? I’m just-?? 

C’mon guys, if this is a joke, it isn’t funny. Stop teasing me. :/

Versão em português

Hello guys!

I come to announce that the

Commissions

are officially

OPEN

and you can already request your commission with me! Just read the next infos to know what to do. So let’s go! 

What to ask for?
You’re more than free to commission me an illustration of some character you like. Being a fanart or OCs. I’ll be free to draw whatever you ask for. But take note, the only things I WILL NOT draw are: Comics, Furries, nsfw or any image that has immorality. These types of drawings I don’t accept’!

How to make an order?
You will make your request through my e-mail carolgarciapr3@gmail.com In this you will tell me in a brief summary (please be as brief as possible) of your commission, informing the character, details, pose, some accessory (animals are seen as separate character) or something extra chosen. All this within a form

Remember to check the price table if you want another character or background. These are priced separately. Animals are also classified as a character. At first, I will only do one character and no background, if I don’t inform any extra addition to your commission.
Upon your request, I’ll be giving you the feedback with my evaluation, the deadline and the commission price established. Please, if I don’t respond immediately, be patient, my dear Padawan!

If you have any questions, my ask box will be free, or you can send me a question via email, or where you feel better :D

Payments!
Paypal or Ko-fi only. The commission process will be done after payment of the same. You have two options: you can either pay me the full amount first or pay half the amount, and then pay for what is missing. So we can guarantee the service’s fidelity to both sides. I do not accept payment afterwards.

All Commission must be filled in according to the format below: Copy and paste the form in your email:

- Please include in the subject: “Commission” your URL or user from where you came from (Tumblr, Instagram, Facebook, Deviantart, etc.)

-Your name: (Url or user - Tumblr, Instagram, Facebook, Deviantart, etc.) 

- OCs must submit description and references so that I can make work as true to their request.

-Type of commission: (Sketch: 1 character (fanart or OC), half body + extra background + extra 2 characters, etc.) This is an example.

What you want in the Commission: (type of facial expression, clothes, colors - if you want you can inform me a color palette -, background or etc.) You are free to send reference pictures attached to your email.

Illustration format: (portrait or landscape)

Notes: Any other extra that is not included in the price table, will have an addition of $12 + each.

Commission Process

  • You will send me your request to carolgarciapr3@gmail.com, with the form filled in according to the model above. The forecast for feedback is between 24H, but I can take a little longer to respond you as there are other work in progress for me;
  • After evaluation and acceptance of your commission, I’ll tell you the total price along with the payment options. Remembering Paypal or Ko-fi only;
  • During the period, you are free to request the cancellation of your Commission. Just send an email with the subject “Cancel my Commission”
  • After payment, I will be notifying you of the receipt;
  • Having done all the above process, you have the freedom to tell me how you would like to receive your commission, be it the file format, the size of the image, etc; 
  • I’ll then send you some previews of your Commission process wherever you wish, so you can evaluate and approve, or request some changes before I start coloring. Make sure it is according to your desire;
  • Once approved, I will begin coloring and show some WIP of the process;
  • Upon completion, I will notify you and send you the full image in your attached email, along with a copy of the PS file (if you wish). Also I ask if you will give me permission to post on my blog, otherwise you that will make the disclosure on your blog;
Birds Make the Best Wingmen

When Stiles invites Derek over for dinner on their second date, it seems that Stiles’ pet parrot is determined to ruin his life. Then again, maybe birds actually make the best wingmen… 

aka: 3-in-the-morning-me read an unrelated text post on parrots and happened to be making sterek icons, and went hey, sterek plus parrots!

“Dude,” Scott sighs. “If it makes you this nervous, just don’t do it.”

“Excuse you?” Stiles scoffs. “Don’t go on my date with Derek? Is that what you just said? You’re not going to make me give you the speech on his eyes again, are you? Because I have it memorized, man, and-”

“No, no, no!” Scott says, waving his PS4 controller wildly. When his Titan gets shot, he mutters, “Worth it. I just meant that if you don’t want to have him over here, then don’t. Go out somewhere instead.”

“I can’t,” Stiles groans. “You know I can’t. He cooked me dinner for our first date, so I have to cook him dinner for our second.”

It’s only fair, really. The only problem is his and Scott’s apartment is a mess, his cooking skills are mostly limited to super healthy and not-date-worthy stuff for his dad, and—though Stiles doesn’t view it as much of a problem, considering the number of nights Allison has spent here—Scott’s being sexiled for the night. Technically Stiles told him he could stay in his room, if he wanted, considering the worst thing they’ll probably do tonight is kiss, but thankfully Scott was much more into the idea of making out with Allison than listening to Stiles potentially make out with Derek. 

“Look, it’s pretty clean in here for two college guys,” Scott reasons, for the tenth time today. Stiles is pretty sure it’s just because he doesn’t want to stop playing Destiny in favor of vacuuming. “I seriously doubt he’ll care if you order takeout, anyway. You just gotta chill. Right, Iago?”

“Right, Scott!” Iago squawks. “Right, Scott! Right, Scott!”

Scott had taught Stiles’ parrot to respond ‘right, Scott’ anytime he hears ‘right, Iago?’ two years ago, and still takes far too much pleasure in having a bird agree with him.

Stiles feels very little sympathy when Scott gets gunned down again as he beams over at the cage.

“Scott’s an overly-optimistic knucklehead who doesn’t understand the woes of us normal people who aren’t dating our first love five years later, right, Iago?” Stiles asks.

“Right, Scott!”

Close enough.


“Nice place,” Derek says, hanging his jacket on one of the hooks by the door. “And dinner smells great.”

“Ah, it’s nothing,” Stiles says, despite having slaved over the stove for three hours. “Lasagna. Here, c’mon, let’s sit down.”

Derek follows him to the living room, but when he sits down on the couch, Derek doesn’t join him. Instead, he walks over to Iago’s cage, peering in.

“You have a parrot?”

“Oh, yeah,” Stiles says, adjusting himself so he’s facing them. “His name’s Iago.”

“Does he talk?”

“Yeah, actually. It’s kinda awesome. He only understands about as much as a dog, probably, but if you say something enough times he’ll start to repeat it, and he understands a few basic things. Like, um- Iago, hello!”

“Hello!” Iago squawks.

Derek smiles–the amazing, warm one that makes his eyes crinkle—and Stiles never wants it to go away. And if that means playing with his bird instead of making small talk? Well, he’s not going to complain.

“Iago, this is Derek,” Stiles says, even though he won’t really get that one.

Unfortunately, he does seem to remember the word ‘Derek’.

“Derek is the best!”  

Stiles’ eyes practically bug out of his head, because that’s actually something he says all the time, and the last thing he needs is for Iago to start parroting everything he’s ever heard about Derek, because… no.

Derek glances over at Stiles, eyebrow raised.

“Just a trick we taught him,” Stiles explains, with a nervous laugh.  “If you say ‘this is someone’, he’ll say they’re the best.”

He stands and rushes over, grabbing the towel they use to cover Iago’s cage before Derek can get a chance to test that lie.

“Say bye, Iago,” Stiles says, draping the cloth over his cage.

“Bye! Bye!”

Crisis averted.

Phew.

“He’s cute,” Derek says, as Stiles ushers him over to the couch. “He’s named after the bird in Aladdin, right?”

“Yeah, he’s great,” Stiles agrees. “And yep. How’d you know?”

Derek’s awesome, but something about his leather jacket and black Camaro doesn’t give off much of an I-watch-Disney-movies-in-my-spare-time vibe.

“I’ve got a lot of nieces and nephews,” Derek says. He smiles again at the thought, which is far too adorable. “I’ve seen every kids’ movie more times than I can count. Or would even want to count.”

“Aw, that’s cool. I’m an only child, but I wouldn’t be surprised if Scott and his girlfriend start planning-”

The ding of the oven cuts him off.

“Um, gimme one sec,” he says, patting Derek’s knee–don’t ask why, dear God, he has no idea why—and getting up to check on dinner. “Be right back.”

Stiles takes the pan out of the oven, setting it down on the countertop.

“Derek?” he calls.  

“It’s ready?” Derek calls back, at the same time Iago repeats, “Derek!”

“Iago, stop it!” Stiles orders, poking his head into the living room.

“Stop it!” he echoes. It’s another of his favorite things to say, unfortunately. “Derek! Stop it! Derek!”

“Sorry, Derek,” Stiles sighs. “He’s a jerk sometimes.”

“It’s fine,” Derek says, standing from the couch. “Not a problem.”

Before he reaches the kitchen, though, Iago interrupts again.

“Derek! Derek! Derek is so hot!”

Derek freezes. Stiles freezes. Iago, unfortunately, does not freeze.

“Derek is so hot!” he repeats, from underneath his towel. “Derek is so hot! Derek is so hot!”

Stiles’ cheeks are probably as red as Iago’s feathers.                  

“That another trick?” Derek asks, raising an eyebrow as the bird continues his ode to Derek’s hotness in the background.

“I- uh…”

“Or just one of the things he picked up by repetition?”

“Ummm…”

Stiles is going to die. He is actually, literally going to fall on the floor and have his heart stop beating from sheer embarrassment.

Or he would do that, except then Derek winks.

He fucking winks, then smirks, then walks back over to the birdcage, pulling the cover off.

“Derek is so hot!” Iago repeats vehemently upon its removal. “Derek is the best! Derek is so hot!”

“Stiles is so hot,” Derek tells him seriously.

Stiles gapes at him, but Derek doesn’t even look over.

Stiles is so hot,” he says again. “Stiles.”

“Stiles is so hot!” Iago agrees. “Derek is so hot! Stiles is so hot!”

“Smart bird,” Derek says, finally glancing over at Stiles.

He’s smiling again, and Stiles decides he very well may die, but perhaps not for the reason he thought.


When Scott gets home the next day and asks how the date with Derek went, only for Iago to squawk ‘Derek is so hot! Stiles is so hot!’, he flops down on the couch, muttering, “I take it back. I don’t even want to guess what that’s about.”

THR: You had a huge following last season. Do you think you have that same support?
Paul:  I was painted as the villain.
THR: Painted as the villain, or were you the villain? 
Paul: I wasn’t the villain. I just came back to play a game. I don’t know what you guys expected me to do. Did you want me to come back as the only vet and just hold hands with everybody? In order to beat them, I had to beat them. I came here to play a game. My fans would be more upset with me if I threw away my game than play the way I did. To all the alumni talking shit, I highly suggest you go on a season being the only vet. I’m pretty sure almost all of you who are talking shit have never made it to the final two. Check the stats, bro! (Laughs.) I don’t know why they don’t like me, but I don’t really care.

LMFAOOOO HES SO PRESSED THAT HE DOESNT HAVE ANY FANS ANYMORE AND ALL THE VETS HATE HIM

the best thing he never had ; one

one , two , three , four , five 

pairing; jungkook x reader

genre; best friend!au 

word count; 3.7k 

a/n; for @elicuh​ ! a wonderful human bean who requested this ! this will most likely be a mini series,,, idk i don’t plan ahead lol 

summary; in this story, you have known your best friend for more than 15 years and you were utterly and wholly in love with him



The city lights became more visible as the bright neon colours had contrasted from the darkening, moonlit sky as you felt yourself become more wide awake as you walked down the streets of the bright city that lit up the mood whether be day or night. Your legs were carrying you from your house in pajamas and a warm leather jacket wrapping you up as you had just awakened from a rather nice sleep that you were enjoying until a certain someone had rung you in the midst of your slumber.

But as always, you could never say no to that certain someone as you had gone through many lengths for him that this particular situation was just a nub on a stick.

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Slime Boyfriend

Since I got some asks for a slime or goo monster and I promised to do some SFW works, I give you this! I had so much fun with these characters and I will come back to them again for sure. Maybe the next time you see them will be an NSFW story.


You’ve been working with a new partner at the precinct, which usually wouldn’t be an issue at all, but they were a by-the-book, no-nonsense caricature. Going out on patrol and duty was an exasperating experience. You used to love your job, you had a great partner before, but this new guy came through the door and your chief excitedly passed you off onto him.

   Officer Sebastian, as he insisted you call him, was tall, always looking down at you as if you were beneath him. Sure, you were shorter than most of the others in the precinct, but none of them looked down on you. He seemed miffed to be partnered with a human anyway. You were quite sure what he looked like because he always had to wear a form containment suit in order to keep his shape and work normally. All you should see of him was his one giant eye behind the glass dome for his head.

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