and i just love this so much because it was the exact right words at the exact right time

The Way You Keep Me Guessing: Coco Teacher!AU

Because I couldn’t stop thinking about @scribblrhob‘s Teacher!AU and @upperstories‘s art for said Teacher!AU, I ended up writing something that’s probably a mess to read because I want to end 2017 crying about Hector and Miguel.

Update: Uncontrollable crying turned into a collaboration between me and @im-fairly-whitty!! Be sure to keep tuning in to both our blogs for updates!

Part 1: Unexpected Responsibility

Keep reading


As time passes, I feel so low

Would I be meeting someone when I come back home there?”

Harry suggestively asked with a laugh, partly wanting to know if you finally had someone to introduce to him, his voice ringing through your phone with the eagerness you expected every time he came to call.

You were already expecting this line as this was mentioned every time he came to call, wanting an update given by his close friend as he’s away with all the tour and all the stuff he’s caught up with.

You bit your lip in nervousness as you let out a deep breath and a nervous chuckle, Harry waiting in the other line as he feels some sort of excitement surge that maybe this would be the time you’d say that you’ve finally found someone to date.

“I’m on the phone with him right now.”

This was an idea you had in your head for quite some time even if it wasn’t the most ideal one since you weren’t there personally to tell him that, yet you figured it was the most suitable.

Harry’s across the globe and you’re still in the fear and honesty that you’d be too chicken to say your admission face to face, as this was the moment you waited for years.

And you think, with all hope, that maybe if you said it here, maybe you’d be spared the pain you’ve anticipated in the back of your mind.

Maybe it would hurt less.

“Oh dear God, did you put that lad on hold or is he-…”

Harry’s laughing ceased as realization strikes him, caught in confusion as he ran over the words again with his mind.

Then came the silence you hated and dreaded, feeling the heartache slowly but surely as you already succumbed to these thoughts beforehand, putting your prediction right.


He asked almost rhetorically as his eyebrows furrowed, his breathing heavy as he waited on you to say something — anything that would bring him back down.

You couldn’t tell how long it was until a silent whimper came out of your mouth that took Harry off-guard when he heard that little sound he’s heard before in other matters that involved you being hurt, regret almost filling him instantly.

“Hey, hey! C’mon, love. Please don’t cry. Please.”

His voice was almost helpless as he’s now hushing you through the phone, standing from the hotel bed he was laying awhile ago at, his lips turning into a frown.

You did nothing as you felt the knot in your throat almost painfully, hearing his voice through the line.

Harry didn’t think through on what he just said and truth be told, he didn’t bother even trying to analyze it when the call ended, only feeling contentment as he knows you aren’t crying anymore.

Yet he did a mistake that you held on to almost painfully, something he didn’t know the consequences of and what it would truly cost him.

May not love you now, but that doesn’t mean I won’t love you soon enough.”

Searchin’ for pieces, covering up the holes

Almost nothing changed between the two of you.

Maybe if you just closed your eyes a bit tighter and steadied your heart that was rapidly beating against your chest so much that it actually hurt — maybe you’d be able to deal with reality.

It was a repetitive mantra every single time you would feel yourself falling for Harry, even if it was in the slightest bit in the sense that your eyes would twinkle unknowingly. Cusses weren’t enough as you tried to get him out of your head, falling silent for a few moments as frustration pents up.

And every single time, you would let go of that grudge.

You would let go of the internal promise to yourself you make every time that consisted of distancing yourself from Harry like someone would do and for once, to let go of the love you had for him.

Drops of pain in your stomach would appear as soon as you stand up and go back to what you were usually doing, not because you regretted it, but instead, it’s because you already knew what the consequences would be.

It’s because everytime you would break down the walls you tried to build higher and stronger than the previous, there’s this guttural feeling you both hate and love.

There’s this great buzz of conflict you feel on your head that would make seconds feel like hours every time you make a decision concerning him.

Each time you break that promise, you feel yourself fall deeper in love with him that could only end up in either no return.

The fight with your own mind regarding this exact conflict has been going on for years and you’re actually surprised that it’s taken this long.

You could feel the grimace of pain as Harry — the very one you love but can’t and don’t have — called you, the hesitation either increasing or decreasing as you couldn’t really tell now at this point, standing up as you came to him with a smile.

The burning sensation of the liquor that you took down lingered in your throat but the drunkenness that would help you slowly forgetss you expected it would, didn’t.

You were nearing your limit as you can finally say it, only having one thing in mind.

There’s a thin line between trying and forgetting; as one accompanies the other perfectly well.

I’ll fight for your love, I’ll fight for your soul
I’ll throw all of my cares away for you
I’ll be there to wait for you

Months passed and it was almost as if the confrontation didn’t happen.

If anything, Harry became closer to you.

You weren’t to complain but deep-down, there’s hesitance as you approach him or are near him, beyond confused on what was this as time passed by.

What you expected as an empty promise to you made you think it’s the exact opposite with what he does, seeming too good to be true.

Yet, you had a part of you still still holding onto it, shrugging the thoughts off for now as you again diverted your attention to the drunk Harry almost napping beside you at the booth to make sure he’s still in your line of sight and won’t disappear again for the second time in the row this night.

Harry smiled at you widely as he caught you looking, perking up instantly that made him whine and frown in dizziness, pouting as he recovered seconds later.

“Have something to tell you, but s’just our secret, m’kay?”

This was one of his phases — the talkative one — you had the privilege of seeing every once in a while in where he’d speak endlessly without filter and without secrecy, as this was also the phase he mostly remembers.

He giggled, tucking his bottom lip on with his teeth as he briefly put his head on our shoulder and perked up again.

“There’s this girl I met, not longer than a month ago but — but she’s really gorgeous, y’know? You have to meet her sometime.”

He started off, waving his hands around as you gulped down the lump in your throat, careful to not get your hopes up.

“There’s something ‘bout her that’s like, really wow. She’s really kind and all that stuff.”

Harry made sure to emphasize, giggling in between words as he kept shaking you by the shoulders to make sure you’re still listening to his story.

“Her name’s Ashley.”

You sucked in a sharp breath as the phrase left Harry’s lips, your hand going limp as you nodded slowly, feeing the building heaviness in your chest and the undesirable feeling in your stomach, tears prickling at the back of your eyes.

“Just — really different. We love the same things, d-do the same things and well,” he paused, lips slightly open in awe as there’s this blush on his cheeks, combined from his drunkenness and from talking about a particular someone.

“I love her.”

All the air seemed to clear out as the words echoed in your head, finding yourself painfully smiling as Harry grinned and watched, looking up as he takes in your reaction.

“Maybe she really is the one for you, H.”

He hummed in delight as he heard you, leaning his head onto your shoulder as he continued humming as some sort of entertainment since he didn’t want to sleep.

There’s silence between the both of you and it’s only you who notices that it isn’t a peaceful one with all that you’re feeling, tears blurring your eyes as you tried to contain them.

It was interrupted when the the ringing of a phone almost made Harry jolt, feeling around his own pockets to see if it was his but only to no avail, his hand reaching out to the phone placed in between the both of you.

He picked it up, brows knitted as he held it close to him and looked at you curiously.

Who’s Sebastian?

Maybe you weren’t the one for me
But deep down I wanted you to be
I’ll still see you in my dreams

You aren’t staying?

Harry asked from the bed as he looked at you, bundled with the thick clothes you put him in and the comforter, only being snapped out from his drunken state a little less now.

By now, out of routine and his memory, you should’ve put your bag down and washed your face in his bathroom, should’ve borrowed his shirt and a pair of pajamas, and should’ve been under the covers with him.

But no, that’s what’s not in front of him. What’s unfolding is you standing on the edge of the bed with your eyebrows furrowed probably from what he said, still seeing you in the clothes you’ve worn earlier and your bag in your hand, your shoes still worn.

“I already-…”

“You don’t want to split the bed?”

He asked as he eyed your face, trying hard to analyze you as he knows he’s seeing this real-time and isn’t his imagination.

“I could sleep in the guest room, if you want,” he spoke slowly, his breathing heavy as he feels weird that you aren’t going to sleep here as you did.

He isn’t used to not having you here every time he’s pissed-off drunk or the other way around, not used to not have someone keep an eye on him in case he needs to puke and whatnot.

“No need, Harry. I’ll go home. Already placed the Advil and the water beside you.”

You offered him a smile, coming to his side as you patted him on the side gently, ruffling your hand through his hair and mumbling a low ‘bye’ through it, coming out of his room that made him look at it until he couldn’t hear your footsteps anymore.

Harry caught himself having his mouth slightly agape and his lips on a straight line, tilting his head back as his mind was processing.

“What the fuck?”

He mumbled softly under his breath, turning to his side only to be met with a cold pillow instead of your back turned to him.

He buried his face in his hands and breathed deeply, just hoping that his mind was playing tricks on him.

All the things that I did for you, just wasn’t it for you

“Got two more days before I leave for L.A., so yeah, movie night?”

Harry asked, his phone pressed to his ear as he finally uttered the sentence he’s been itching to say after having his phone ringing for the past three minutes from attempting to call you.

“Oh god, Harry. You are a shit boyfriend.”

He laughed as he was also taken aback by your own laughter, his eyes fluttering for a few seconds before he retaliated and took a seat on his kitchen counter.

“What did I do now?”

You scoffed, rolling your eyes as what he could basically hear through the line, hearing some voices in the background he chose to ignore.

“You have a date with Ashley, remember?”

Harry’s mouth dropped, not breathing for a few seconds as he couldn’t believe what he just heard and realized, being so distracted that he found himself stuttering.

“I — I do?”

He couldn’t tell whether the date he just now remembered telling you a week ago just slipped off his mind or that he intentionally forgot that he had one tonight, scratching the back of his head as he sighed.

“I could cancel it.”

“No! Don’t do that to her!”

You contested as Harry had his stomach in a knot, undecided on what he should feel yet he feels a bit hurt at the present moment.

“You could join us?”

You chuckled as you bit your lip and looked up, shaking your head no as you felt this for the last few days, having some weight lifted up from you.

“M’busy tonight too.”

Never, never did this happen to Harry in where you would decline him for the opportunity to hang out, whether it’d be movie night or something else.

He was as surprised as you were by the happy yet confident tone you unknowingly gave him, feeling this pang on his chest as he cleared his throat.

“Oh, that’s okay then. Guess I’ll see you soon, right?”

That was the last thing he said to you in that phone call before you replied to it, waiting for you to end the call as it’s something he’s never done before.

Harry found himself clenching his fist as his chest heaved up and down, lips on a firm line as he’s trying to look for what’s happening and how he’s reacting to it.

He doesn’t like it at all.

I’m hoping that you’ll come back to me
Moving on seems harder to do
When the one that you love moves faster than you

Harry wanted to stop looking at the both of you but he goddamn well couldn’t.

Not now, especially when Sebastian fitted seamlessly within the circle of friends that welcomed your special someone with open-arms.

Not now, when all of his friends are fit in this large booth, laughing and giggling as he could perfectly see your body facing him and on top his lap, your head pressed to his chest as fast asleep as you were compared to minutes ago.

Not now, when every time he combed his hand through your hair that Harry felt this knot on his throat and his jaw clench at the sight, having to look at Ashley a couple of times as a distraction just so he could avoid this awed look every time Sebastian looked down at you.

Not now, when he knows all these things were supposed to be done with him just for old time’s sake, yet he had to fuck up by letting go of that opportunity, putting you on hold with words he wasn’t careful with, and by scurrying off to another and telling you all about her.

Not now, when Harry knows he’s done for and guilty.

He wanted all those times back to him, in fact, he was so desperate that he finds every single opprotunity just to see you.

And what frustrates him is that he couldn’t bring you back, not now when you’ve changed and finally found someone better than him.

He wanted to forget the way you laughed with Sebastian, eyes twinkling as he would put his hand on top of yours as he did too.

He wanted to forget the way you smiled brighter and wider than what you used to have when you’re with him, eyes crinkling and in the verge of biting your lip just because the laughter’s hurting you.

He wanted to forget the way that the both of you were so lowkey to the point he managed to have noticed every single time with the things you do, the way you hold his hand under the table, the way he would whisper something to your ear and how you would smile because of it and all.

He wanted to forget the way how he said ‘I love you’ to you as it made you grin, saying the words back as he gently kissed you.

Harry wanted to forget the fact that you’re with someone else.

He found himself looking up when Sebastian announced the both of your departure amidst the complains that were heard in the booth, him waving them off and smiling.

“Sorry, got to bring her home.”

He whispered enough for them to hear and understand, not wanting to wake you up as you’re latched onto him tightly with your head nuzzled to his neck, legs wrapped around his waist looking soundly and peacefully asleep.

Harry slightly saluted him as some type of acknowledgement even of he knows he’s petty, barely feeling Ashley’s head pressed to his shoulder as he decided that the shot glass held by his hand would be the last this night yet he still holds no promises.

He grimaced at the the memory of you, breathing deeply as he needed you so bad, wanting to shake off the memory of you being brought home and changed with fluffy clothes as you used to do to him, someone who would keep your hair out of your face and tuck you under the sheets.

Harry used to do that too.

You’re not the one I’m thinking of tonight
I may not be over you, but I’ll try inside

“Stop this game.”

Harry choked at the words as he barged into your front door, the spare key you gave him in his grasp and tears on his cheeks.

“Just fucking stop it.”

He pleaded, whimpers leaving his mouth as he’s revealing himself to you as he has been the past few days; completely vulnerable.

You’d taken his appearance into account, his hair disheveled and eyes puffy, his fists balled as he’s sobbing.

You found your mouth slightly agape, eyes confused on the sudden happenings unfolding in front of you as he’s waiting for you to say something — anything for this matter as he’s desperate for you.

“I’m not doing anything, Harry.”

You spoke softly, being completely in contrast with him who’s a combination of weak and furious, standing paralled to you as his mouth released broken sobs that made your heart clench of seeing him like this.


Harry was pacing, his hand going through his hair as his face clearly states for you to say what you’ve been doing is a joke, wanting you to say something that would calm the voices in his head.

“You — you and Sebastian. Tell me it’s a stint. Tell me that it is a fucking joke.”

He’s shaking his head no, wanting you to do the same and tell him it is even if it isn’t, being utterly helpless as he’s silently begging you.

“If you could just-…”

“What, dismiss me? Say that you’re busy? What do I have to do?”

Harry huffed, flailing his arms around as you felt yourself be silent and soft at what’s happening, not knowing on what would be your approach to him.

His lips are trembling and so are his fingers, breathing raggedly as he’s now the one waiting for you, now the one who’s stuck in this state instead of you who’s been through this for years.

“I love him, Harry.”

That made his heart break even worse if that was still possible, his voice shaking and his heart dropping in an instant at the words he dreaded.

“I love you — I love you. Isn’t that what matters?”

He’s found no words in his head as he uttered the last ones he did, feeling completely defeated and lost.

“That would’ve mattered months — maybe years ago, Harry.”

“But I love you! I — I broke up with her, I’m in front of you now! Can’t — can’t you just love me again?”

You find yourself silent, breathing shallow as your fingers fiddled with what you were wearing, pained that you were now faced with what you wanted long ago but didn’t now.

“I — I loved you.”

Harry wanted to sink into his knees, never feeling a pain this great as tears flooded his vision as all he could do was sob there without restraint, the need to have you overcoming him but so did the great pang in his chest.

He’s willing to give up everything he has just to have one more chance, true to his words as he’s praying to everything holy, just begging for Him to give him one more opportunity to make things right.

He’s in the verge of losing you completely which is the last thing he ever wants, his hand going limp on his sides as he wants the pain to end and would rather do anything just for him to have you back.

Harry’s undeniably, utterly and completely broken.

And maybe if he’d just closed his eyes a bit tighter and steadied his heart that was rapidly beating against his chest so much that it actually hurt — maybe he’d be able to deal with reality.

what about us ⎪two

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader 

Warnings: tiny bit of angst

Words: 1.2k 

A/N: Part two of my entry for @sebashtiansatan‘s writing challenge. Find part one right here :) 


Bucky’s breath got caught in his throat when a small smile grazed your lips. Tears welled under his eyes, you were at arms length from him, he had only reach out and wrap his arms around you, pull you snug against him and never let go.

“Y/N?” A deep voice cut through his fantasy. Only then he noticed the tall man standing besides you. You had your arm looped around his, his big brown eyes stared down at you lovingly.

Bucky’s hands balled into fists. He knew he had no right to be jealous, but watching you with someone else, in someone else’s arms made his blood boil.

“I’m going to get something to drink. Do you want anything?” The man continued, still looking at you.

“No, no, I’m fine T. Thank you” You turned to give the man a squeeze on his arm before he walked away, leaving you two alone.

Keep reading

Scheming with the Enemy (Part 5)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Final

A/N:  lol

Modern!Kylo x reader story

Kylo has an odd request from you for his mom’s upcoming Christmas party

Word count: 1.7k

tag list: @sdavid09@littlekay15​ @hostofthefirenation @into-d-arkness@pootntoot @strategicscientificreserve@eggspots@blood-roses-and-bands@elenawrit​ 

Warm hands gently stroked your face, urging you to wake up in the sweetest manner; it really felt good to be back in your old home with loving parents to wake you up in the morning.

“Merry Christmas,” you murmured with closed lids, eyes not quite ready to greet the day.

“These reindeer-print pajamas are really sexy.”

Keep reading


Is CAMREN real? I am not part of their inner circle to give a definitive yes or no on that question. What I can say is, even though their words of denial are telling me no, their actions are telling me a completely different story. In my world, actions speak way louder than words. It is quite clear, through their actions over the past couple weeks alone, something is happening with them.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Hey! Can I request a Steve Harrington x Reader imagine/headcannon where it's a big Christmas party with all the kids, the reader and Steve are already dating, and it's just very cute and fluffy? Thanks x

a/n: i’m gonna make this an imagine because why not and y/g means your gift

christmas eve was finally here. the stress of getting presents for people, making sure to wrap the presents good, and placing the bow just right, all of that was finally over. your boyfriend steve was having a christmas party that he had been planning for for months tonight. after the whole fiasco with the upside down, he figured this party would help everyone forget about that horrific event.

currently you were figuring out what to wear. instead of wearing a fancy dress to get steve’s attention, you just decided to put on a nice red sweater and your christmas earrings to feel festive. you and steve had gotten the exact same one, you guys wanted to be that cheesy couple who matched, so you knew he’d be wearing his too.

you grabbed the gift you got for him and you took your car to his house. when you got there you smiled when you saw him turning on the christmas lights that were on the outside of his house. you parked your car in his driveway and when you got to the door steve was there, greeting you with his usual dorky smile. he was wearing his red sweater too, just like you thought he would.

you two didn’t say a word, your eyes and smiles complimented each others looks. he followed you inside and already steve’s parents were there, along with nancy and mike wheeler with their family. karen always showed up to a party a little earlier then what was said to, she thought it was polite, for whatever reason. she brought her famous christmas cookies, which you couldn’t wait to try.

surprisingly, things between you and nancy weren’t awkward. you would think it would be, i mean you’re dating her ex. but she was the one that broke up with steve, and steve was still a good friend of hers, so there was no reason for it to be awkward.

after about ten minutes and everyone was there that was invited. it wasn’t much really. all the kids were invited, along with their families. steve even invited max’s family, but her parents couldn’t make it and billy declined. steve was actually glad billy didn’t want to come, he just did it for politeness.

for the time being, you and steve were hanging out with mike, will, lucas, dustin, max and eleven. all the kids were discussing what they wanted for christmas. all the boys wanted stuff for dungeons and dragons or some new action figures. max wanted a new skateboard and eleven of course, wanted waffles. you thought it was cute how excited they were all getting, and steve was thinking the exact same thing.

steve abruptly pulled dustin to the side, and you were confused on why but you didn’t mention it. you always knew they had a close relationship when everyone was fighting the demagorgan and everything that came with it. you thought it was sweet actually. steve was actually discussing what he had gotten you for christmas and if it was good enough or not. dustin had gotten nancy something and he was asking steve for advice too.

later on mike’s father, ted, started playing the piano and nancy was singing the christmas song by nat king cole. she had a really pretty voice. everyone danced along to it. joyce danced with hopper, mike with eleven, lucas and max, and of course, you and steve.

all you could hear was nancy and the piano. as you looked in steve’s eyes, you felt as if you two were the only two people in that entire room. you wanted to keep staring into his puppy dog eyes for all eternity, but the song had ended and everyone applauded for both nancy and ted. you looked away from steve and pulled away from his embrace, already feeling your cheeks burn bright red from blushing. steve knew this somehow and he pulled you back into his embrace, turning your face so he could see you.

“you’re adorable.” he mumbled, placing a kiss on both your cheeks. that just made them turn even more red, which made steve laugh.

“oh shut it.” you say in an annoyed tone, pushing him playfully away from you with a smile spread across your face.

suddenly you felt him take your hand and drag you right under the mistletoe.

“oh hey look where we are?” he said with a smirk, pointing his eyes up to the mistletoe. you looked up at it and shook your head, grinning.

“well are you just gonna stand here and admire the mistletoe or are you gonna kiss me?” you said teasingly. steve just let out a small chuckle and held your face gently, looking deep in your eyes before he pressed his lips against yours. you melted into the kiss, one hand going to his hair. in the background you heard all the kids gagging, which made you laugh in the kiss. steve was laughing too so he pulled away.

“at least i’m gettin’ some unlike the rest of you!” steve joked, which gave him a few glares from the parents, but he just returned a smile to them, mouthing to them that he was joking. but his face was bright red from embarrassment, which just made you giggle softly. “now who’s the one with the red face?” you teased, raising an eyebrow at him. that just made him laugh and he took his hands off of your face to try and rub his cheeks to get the redness to go away. you thought it was the cutest thing ever.

the party continued on, and towards the end everyone took pictures with each other using all the mom’s polaroids. you and steve took some nice ones that you were definitely going to treasure for a long time. after pictures steve took you over to the mistletoe to get another kiss from you, which just made you laugh but you didn’t mind it one bit.

after that everyone started to exchange presents, and you absolutely adored the atmosphere you were in right now. it made you feel so joyful, you truly loved christmas. you saw dustin give nancy the present he gave her. you could tell she loved it, and she gave him a warm hug, which made you smile widely.

then you and steve gave each other the presents you had gotten each other. you made steve open his first, because you were eager to see his reaction. when he opened he made the sweetest face ever. he was acting so childish, which was just so delightful to see.

y/n, you didn’t have to get me this.” he mumbled, admiring his gift a little longer before he looked at you.

“well i wanted to, you’ve wanted it so bad, and besides, your reaction was totally worth getting it.” you said, beaming at him. you truly loved this boy with all your heart. he was so endearing and kind, he was your dream guy.

he just smiled in response and gave you a hug, saying thank you over and over again. he was just so happy in that moment, he wanted this night to last forever.

when you got y/g, you had the same reaction he did to his gift. you both were so pleased in this moment. all the kids were making ooo sounds when you two kissed. they knew how special of a moment this was to you two, so they didn’t want to start gagging again.

soon everyone had left, and you were the last one to leave. steve brought you under the mistletoe for one last kiss. once you two were done, he walked you to your car and helped you inside and everything.

“merry christmas babe.” he said, his eyes twinkling from the lights’ reflection. you admired them for a bit, getting in lost in them just like you had when you two were dancing. eventually you snapped out of it and looked back at him.

“oh yeah, merry christmas to you too.” you said softly, and steve laughed a little since it took you so long to respond. he left you with a kiss on your forehead and you drove off. this was a christmas you were going to remember for sure.  

CC Prompt: First Date + First Kiss

Filling in @marigold68 ‘s prompt of CC’s first date & first kiss. I wanted to do something different than their first canonical date (AKA the Sutton Foster concert since I’m 90% sure I wrote that). So consider this an AU.

The first time Chris first saw Darren, he felt the breath leave his lungs. Darren walked into set, charming everyone in his vicinity within a matter of moments.

Keep reading

In light of everything going on...

Could people, anyone capable of doing so, please do something every single time you see someone describe ableism as being about a list of words you are supposed to say and a list of words you’re not supposed to say?

Ableism is about going to a hospital and getting told by doctors that you’d be better off going home and dying than getting a feeding tube.

Ableism is about going to get SSI and getting told that if you can blog (or do some other random thing that is not gainful employment and will never be), you can work for gainful employment.

Ableism is about your own family believing you’re lazy or exaggerating or faking because you don’t seem like their idea of what a disabled person is (young white guy in a wheelchair from paraplegia, usually – who are actually usually among the more privileged and able to work of disabled people, not that they have it easy by any means, especially since able to work doesn’t mean able to get hired in an ableist workforce).

Ableism is about valuing people based on what we can do, rather than valuing people because we exist.

Ableism is about drawing a line past which people don’t count as disabled anymore, they just count as not even people, and not worth protecting.

Ableism is about there being entire books where people think it’s legitimate to debate whether people with intellectual or other cognitive or developmental disabilities (those are three totally different but overlapping categories, just so you’re aware) count as persons or not.  Both “philosophically” and under law.  Google Peter Singer if you don’t believe me (he also doesn’t think newborns are persons, but everyone loves him because he supports animal rights – by bringing down disabled human beings in the process, and everyone knows – because of ableism, of course – that disabled human beings don’t matter anyway, not as much as animals).

Ableism is not – at least not mostly – about whether ‘stupid’ is a slur.  It’s just not.  And it infuriates me both when disabled people treat it primarily that way, and when nondisabled people treat it primarily that way.  

Because when you do a serious discussion of racism, and then classism, and then sexism, and transphobia, and transmisogyny, and homophobia, and biphobia, and every other kind of oppression you can think of, large and small, and you give them in-depth coverage… and then you come to ableism.  And it’s always last.  And it’s always a footnote to all the other kinds of oppression.  And the footnote always reads “And ableism… don’t say stupid, or idiot, instead, say these other words that don’t actually form an adequate replacement for those first words at all.”  

Which diminishes the understanding of the power of actual ableist slurs such as retard (hint: a slur carries with it as part of the meaning, that the person being described by the slur is not a real person – an insult like ‘stupid’ can be used in an ableist or non-ableist way but is not necessarily a slur even when it’s ableist). And it also diminishes the understanding of what ableism actually is, by not taking seriously the fact that ableism kills people.  

And even this act of always putting ableism last, always treating it as less serious or possibly not even a real ism at all (possibly “political correctness gone amok”, possibly “(eyeroll) yet another group of people wanting to claim they’re oppressed and really stealing the idea of oppression from real oppressed people like people of color and taking their ideas and successes without crediting them at all”, however it’s phrased… that is one of the worst things about ableism in circles that claim to want to deal with oppression in all its forms.  Because it basically throws us to the wolves while claiming there are no wolves to throw us to and that we aren’t really dying in huge numbers everywhere and so forth.  There are ways in which ableism becomes worse, more deadly, because of being diminished in this way by all the “serious” anti-oppression people.

So – I don’t care if you call what you do social justice or anti-oppression or anything else.  I don’t care if you’re part of those circles or not.  I don’t care if you use ideas from those circles or not.  I just don’t care.  All I care about is that you take ableism seriously and that you take the danger disabled people are in right now seriously and part of taking it seriously is making sure that people understand it’s not about what words are politically correct or politically incorrect at this particular moment in time when it comes to disability.  

Because disabled people are often the first to die – or among the first – in situations like this. And this is not an accident.  It is because the people with power know that a lot of people don’t give a rat’s ass what happens to us, whether on the right or on the left.  It’s because they know that you don’t take our oppression seriously.  It’s because they know that our deaths will be considered inevitable.  Have you ever considered it inevitable that disabled people and old people end up in nursing homes, group homes, developmental centers, psych wards, and other institutional settings? – sad, maybe, tragic even, but inevitable consequences of disability?  Because that’s the same kind of thinking that makes our deaths inevitable.  (By the way, nursing homes are the cause of death for a lot of us, but our disability gets blamed instead and this is all normalized so much you probably can’t even see it.)  Have you ever considered it inevitable that disabled people contemplate suicide, and never thought it might be the result of the same forces that cause other oppressed people to contemplate suicide?  Have you ever responded almost reflexively to disabled people’s suicidal thoughts by saying that we ought to have the right to kill ourselves easily and painlessly (when you’d never say the same of, say, queer teenagers), without even thinking that maybe most of the time we’re suicidal for the same reason queer teenagers often are?  Have you ever thought that when we don’t get SSI and die on the streets, that’s just…. unfortunate but sort of inevitable?  That basically our deaths however and whenever they happen are unfortunate but inevitable consequences of being disabled, and you’ve never even thought of the way ableism plays both into our deaths themselves and into your own thoughts about them?

Because that’s why you need to get people to take ableism seriously immediately.  And that’s why I’ve always been infuriated by people not taking ableism seriously.  Because I’ve been that person in that hospital room being told by doctors that I would do better off to go home and die of a totally preventable pneumonia or starvation, rather than get the combination of feeding tubes that would prevent both?  

Oh and by the way – don’t quote me statistics about aspiration pneumonia and feeding tubes unless you know my exact disability, the exact cause of the aspiration pneumonia, and the exact configuration and type of feeding tubes I use and exactly how I use them.  I know that as a general rule feeding tubes don’t prevent aspiration and may even cause it, but in my particular circumstances that doesn’t apply.  There are dozens of reasons for feeding tubes, dozens of types of feeding tubes, and if you don’t understand all of this in-depth you have no basis for commenting.  I went from getting aspiration pneumonia seven times in the first few months of a year, to getting it once or twice a year at most, instantly, with the right combination of feeding tubes.  And I gained back roughly half of the 75 pounds I’d lost rapidly as a result of my stomach disorder.  

And I’m happy, and I’m fucking alive, which is more than I expected by now.  I didn’t expect to hit 34 or 35, and I’m now 36.  I might even eventually hit old age at this point, who knows.  But however long I lived, I deserved a chance to be alive.  And it took a lot of people calling the hospital and demanding I get treated right, to even get the feeding tube.  They couldn’t deny it to me – because I needed it – so they just tried every trick they knew to talk me out of agreeing to it.  After tumblr and other places resulted in enough phone calls to the hospital, I got my tube the next day, although my problems with ableism in that hospital were and remain far from over and the circumstances of getting the tube and the aftermath were something out of a nightmare scenario.  Not because they had to be, but because they could get away with it, because ableism is everywhere and practically unacknowledged by just about everyone, including especially the people who supposedly care the most about disabled people (family, caregivers, “helping professionals”, anti-oppression people, etc).

Anyway, this has gotten into a long enough rant I’ll be surprised if you could read this far – I probably couldn’t (I write better than I read). But hopefully you get the message.  Right now is a time when disabled Americans, especially those of us facing other forms of oppression (ever try to get proper medical care as a queer, genderless and visibly gender-atypical, poor person with developmental disabilities? …yeah) need people fighting ableism more than ever.  And that doesn’t mean tacking up a list of words that everyone can say instead of ‘stupid’.  And treating it like it does, is part of the problem that leads to us dying in circumstances like these.

Pricked: Part 3

Part 1  Part 2

Scenario: You and Mino have been together since you were eighteen years old. You’ve been through so much together, but time changed who you both were, what you both wanted and, ultimately, it ended. It ended once, twice, and a million times after. Each time fate somehow bringing you back to one another; but how cruel could fate really be? For with every time you crashed back into the one another, you felt pieces’ fray and rip at the seams; pricked by love thrones that never healed.

A/N: So…you guys may not like me after reading this, but honestly the main reason why I took so long to post this is because I’m worried about how this is going to make you feel. It maybe a little more melancholy than anticipated, because I’m currently in a bit of a funk, but I hope it’s nonetheless enjoyable. While reading also listen to Greta Svabo Bech’s, “Circles.”

Genre: Mino x Reader

Words: 3798

Disclaimer: As always, any gifs used are not mine and belong to their rightful owners!!

That moment in the alley replayed in your head until the memory began to burn and flake like ash. You couldn’t remember the exact moment his girlfriend, no his fiancée, looked back at your drowning figure. When you saw that spark of knowing and her eyes hopelessly staring at the side of Mino’s face. The wondering of how you must have looked: standing there with the only person who’d ever made your life make sense.

The betrayal sat deep in your heart; realization setting in that he was never going to tell you. The look of being caught in his lack of eye contact replaying in your mind along with Danah’s words: You need to let him be happy and stop trying to ruin it.

Was he happy?

The last time you’d spoken of anything outside of your affair was that it seemed like he wasn’t. The last real argument based around him asking you to leave your boyfriend. For you to both try again and hope that, this time, this time you could get it right. All that seemed like a fairytale; the reality playing out much harsher. Like a Brother’s Grimm tale that left you bruised and bleeding at the tragic end.

Keep reading

unfinished business.

Words; 1,713

pairing; yoongi x reader

Request; “holy. what… how am I friens w/ such an amazing writer¿ how was I graced w/ your frienship?¡ I just don’t get it!! but honestly kaila I am so frickin excited for these (also I’d like to see Seokjins or Yoongis first bc they sound most interesting)” - @devinscissorhands

A/N; i really hope you guys all enjoyed the soulmate!seokjin imagine i had previously wrote, i kind of feel slightly disappointed with it now but it was all worth it right? so, in regards to that, i hope you all enjoy this one far better than the last! at the moment i am writing this, i rlly like this one but in about 24 hours i’ll feel bad about it lol xD but either way i hope you all really enjoy this imagine, please feel free to leave your opinions in my ask! thank you ( ˘ ³˘)♡

Originally posted by chan-lay

“Why is my hair mint?” You questioned your family angrily after storming down the stairs in a fuss, not understanding the situation at all. “I bet you did this to me!” You accused, pointing a finger straight at your brother. But to your surprise, you fell completely silent and confused when they just began laughing at you.

“I think your soulmate just dyed his hair mint Y/N.” Your older brother mocked, poking and laughing at your lack of knowledge and understanding of soulmates.

You groaned in response, “when I finally meet him I swear I’m going to kill him,” you stated; running back into your room to fix your problem.

“I hate everything about this whole soulmate thing right now.” You complained, muttering under your breath. You were on your way to an interview for a job you’ve been anticipating for a while now. The only problem was the fact that the job was so sophisticated and so professional, especially for someone at your age. You weren’t going to deny it, you were still young; plus, you’ve always wanted to have dyed hair at some point in your life except not right now. You were wearing a huge, oversized sweater over your business outfit, the hood pulled tightly over your head. Your gaze had stuck itself to the ground, watching your feet take each step on its complete own. Out of the corners of your eyes, you could barely see the long and brightly colored strands of your hair. You scoffed at the sight of your hair, knowing the exact reason behind its look was so pathetic; you threw your hair over your shoulder and out of your line of sigh as you pushed yourself onwards towards your destination.

“Sir please, I swear it was my soulmate who did this.” You had finally arrived at your interview. Your hoodie has been thrown off to the side and now here you were, standing nervously in front the man who would decide your fate right now. You resembled the way you looked earlier, instead this time the tiled floor had caught your attention as you twiddled your fingers in front of you. You had finally reached the question you had been dreading this whole time, why is your hair the color it currently is? You hoped too the heavens that your boss understood the concept of soulmates, hopefully more than you did.

When it came to soulmates, you didn’t actually know very much about them. All you really knew was that in this world, your soulmate was the one for you; the one destined to love you and be with you the rest of your life. And you couldn’t lie, you’ve always dreamt of having someone like that; but the world is cruel, because you’re never really told your soulmate. You just have to figure it out yourself.

The world was only generous enough to give tiny little hints as to who your soulmate was, making you play life like a whole scavenger hunt. In your world, the key was hair color. If your soulmate never dyes their hair, your rain remains natural; but once they decide to take that first step of dying their hair, they should be ready to sacrifice their soulmate’s hair as well. Dying your hair would make a mark on the world, because doing so wouldn’t just affect you. It affects your soulmate, your other half in either a good or bad way. It was just like getting a tattoo, marking marks on your body. You’ve always been a spontaneous person, and you’ve always been one who has always wanted to dye their hair… the only thing that held you back was your soulmate. But when they started changing their hair with the seasons, you immediately regretted not dying your hair earlier.

You yourself were able to call yourself quite lucky, due to the constant changes of your hair color. It seemed to you that it would be much easier to find your soulmate, because of their vibrant and uncommon hair colors; instead of those who strayed from the concept of dying their hair. You were never failed to be amused by the colors that seemed to run through your hair, you even began to worry about the health of your own hair compared to that of your soulmate’s. There were days when your hair was your natural hair color, but when you woke up the next day it was a whole other color. You’d had gone through colors like grey, red, red, and pink before, every once and a while your hair fading back to your natural color. You had always been told you had a very interesting soulmate, and you always accepted that. You wondered what kind of person your soulmate had to be to have to dye their hair like this, maybe a delinquent or something? But right now you couldn’t care less about the person they were. You more or so just wanted to give him a good punch to the face when you met him for the first time. Your only opinion of him right now was “wow, this guy’s timing is amazing,” all because he decided to change his perfectly fine, natural hair color to mint right when you had scheduled an interview for your new job.

“I understand Miss Y/N, please just step outside for now. You seem to be perfect for this job, your hair color should not make a difference if it was not your doing,” you had suddenly been broken from your thoughts. You noticed the blank look on your boss’ face, wondering if his words actually meant anything or if they were just empty for the sake of soothing you. You made your way out of the room, listening to the quiet click of your heels with every step you took. You could feel the billion pairs of eyes land right on you, as you stepped into the main lobby of the building. It felt like your hair was burning from the intensity of their stares. You rushed to leave the building, to pass through its doors leading into the street, growing self-conscious of the looks you were receiving; almost too conscious, so much as to not notice the boy leaning against the wall of the building with the exact same mint hair as you did.

Thankfully, you ended up getting called back for another meeting, meaning you had been approved for the job, despite your hair color. You were on your way back to the building where you felt your heartbeat speed up as you got closer and closer to the tall building. You had pulled your hair back into a bun, hoping it would help you capture a more sophisticated look. You tightly clutched your bag against your chest as you felt the cold breeze rush in your direction. You pushed yourself forward, even against the wind who seemed like your worst enemy at the moment. You squinted your eyes, as they felt like they’d be pushed out by the wind. At one point you ended up closing your eyes, but suddenly you had felt yourself hit the ground. Your eyes remained tightly shut, like you were waiting for something to happen to you, but all you got were a couple words.

“Uhm, are you okay?” The voice chuckled, and you finally decided to open your eyes. The first thing you saw was mint, the color mint. Your eyes traveled down to see he was crouching down to you, attempting to lend you a helping hand. You look a glance at your bangs, the single strand of hair in your face; attempting to match the shades off hair together. You finally took the hand he offered, finally realizing you would be late if you didn’t speed things up. For now you had thought nothing of the similar hair colors, you wouldn’t believe that he was your soulmate. You were quick to apologize, but then thank him right after. You were about to leave the boy behind before he grabbed you by your wrist. He spoke, words falling out of his mouth that completely passed you by. You had felt captured in his gaze, almost like he had just tied you up using his eyes. You felt frozen, as words continued to tumble out of his mouth; until you heard the word soulmate.

“S-soulmate?” You whispered, not feeling the need to waste your strength on shouting, he was already close enough to you anyway. “What about soulmates?”

He just laughed at you, “Did you not hear me jagi? We’re soulmates, look at our hair!” He carefully pulled a strand of your hair out of it’s bun and held it against his head. It almost looked as if the hair blended into one before he dropped your hair, letting it fall back to your chest. “So, how’d you like my wonderful pallete of colors?” He continued with a smirk, gesturing towards your hair, “You never dyed your hair either. How boring you must be, my love.”

You couldn’t help but feel flustered at his words, but you definitely weren’t going to break your promise. You flicked the boy on the forehead, laughing as he flinched and fell backwards onto the ground with you. “That’s for almost making me lose my job idiot.” You decided to stand up first, leaving your wrist out for him to take. “Sorry to ruin such a beautiful moment, but I have a meeting I happen to be late for.” You said, pointing a finger against his chest, attempting to imply that this was all his fault. You shared a nod goodbye and you ran off, but you had almost forgot something. “I’m Y/N. Meet me back here in an hour or two.”

He held his hand out to you once more, this time to properly greet you. “I’m sorry love, but I can’t promise you anything. I’m Yoongi.”

Push Comes to Hug

During the course of the series, Arnold hugs Helga three times. The first two happen because he thanks her for finding his hat, then because he thanks her for getting her dad to sponsor his float idea for the city parade. But when he hugs her for the third time, Arnold never offers an explanation as to why, which leaves Helga confused, yet delighted simultaneously. So why does he hug her that time?

If you remember prior to this scene, during much of the episode, Arnold was dreaming about visiting Arnie in the country and meets Arnie’s friends, who are the exact antitheses of Arnold’s own friends. The two most important people in the dream are Lulu, who is the exact antithesis of Lila, and Hilda, who is not actually the antithesis of Helga, but is Helga when she is being her true self.

Arnold’s dream has a purpose by taking the viewers deep into his subconscious, where he knows how Helga feels about him and that he may repressed feelings for her. As I said before, the dream relationships between Arnold, Arnie, Lulu, and Hilda are the mirror images of the relationships between Arnold, Arnie, Lila, and Helga in real life. Lulu is created to show Arnold that Lila is not the right girl for him, and Arnold knows this subconsciously. On the contrary, he falls for Hilda, which shows he could very well fall for Helga if she showed her real self more often.

So within his subconscious, he knows about Helga’s feelings for him, and Hilda is there to show Arnold that Helga is the perfect girl for him.

Anyway, back to the moment he hugs Helga. No explanation is ever provided, and it appears very random, but given everything that happened to Arnold has dreamed and what is happening in his subconscious, there is likely a psychological reason for it. As an old Hey Arnold! friend of mine, as did an anonymous writer who wrote an essay about this episode, once stated, maybe Arnold hugged Helga because it was a way of his subconscious giving him a push towards her, or a nudge in the right direction, to help him realize that she is the perfect girl for him.

As for when he says, “Wow, Helga! It really is you!”, I was initially confused about what that line might mean. But then I got to thinking of how Arnold seemed genuinely happy to see Helga and that maybe he realizes, on a subconscious level, that she is worthy of love from him and that he can love her. So he expresses it with those words, as if he’s really saying to her, “It’s you! You’re my true love!”, like my friend once suggested. I really liked that thought, because it seems to tie in with the idea that Arnold is beginning to realize that Helga is the girl for him, so maybe what he said to her was his way of saying just that.

In conclusion, Arnold’s dream in this episode tells us that Lila is not the girl for him, but that Helga is the right girl for him. And while Arnold knows this subconsciously, he just needs to find it in there, figure it out and come to terms with it on a conscious level, and, finally, accept it and take action. And when he does, he will have finally found the girl of his dreams. ;)

special thanks goes to my good friend foreverfrozensolid for making the gif for me!

Language matters. Language reflects attitude. Attitude reflects feelings and behavior.

I’m in some large polyamory groups on Facebook. Something that comes up CONSTANTLY is a post that looks like this. This isn’t a direct quote on purpose, but it probably is a dirct quote by accident, because the posts like this have very little variance from one another.

“My partner and I have been looking for a female to add to our family. Why is it so hard to find a third? We just want to love her and treat her right.”

If you run in the solo-poly/relationship anarchy/anti-couples-privilege circles of polyamory, you probably know the name we give to people who post things like that: UNICORN HUNTERS!

“But,” people ask when they’re called out for posting stuff like the above, “What’s wrong with knowing what we want, and asking for it?”

Well, okay, sure: you can ask for whatever you want. That much is true. But what you asked us was for reasons why you’re having a hard time. And we’re telling you why, but you think you’re an exception to the rule. I get that – you are new to this. You don’t necessarily know that this same. exact. question. gets asked day after day after day. That is it easily THE most commonly-asked question by people who are newly poly, to those with experience. If you are in the position to be asking it, you CAN learn from our critique. If you’re willing to believe that people are telling you these things because they legitimately want to see you thrive, then you yourself might just benefit from their advice.

I’ll break it down. (I’m going to use mainly female pronouns to refer to the “third” here, because that is overwhelmingly the way these sorts of posts go, but people of other genders can also be affected by situations like these.)

“My partner and I…”

This makes it sound like you two are a unit. If you were single, would you want to date a unit? Or would you want to date individuals?

“…have been looking for a female…”

“Female” sounds clinical. Try “woman.” If your response to this is to say that people are too picky about language, just know that you’re alienating plenty of the most emotionally intelligent people in the dating pool.

“…to add to our family.”

“To add to” suggests that the person you want to date is an annex to something whole, rather than a whole person in her own right, with desires of her own, and maybe even a family of her own – or a desire to form a family of her own, that might or might not include both of you.

Also, consider how daunting it would be, as a single person, to be approached by someone whose immediately vocalized goal involves the word family. When you went on dates as a single person, how would you have felt if someone said on or before the first date that they wanted you to be part of their family?

“Why is it so hard to find a third?”

“A third” is hierarchical. You are saying that you and your partner are first and second (perhaps interchangeably) – and the new person is third. You might argue that this sort of structure is inevitable and natural when first getting to know someone, and that you eventually want this person to be your “equal.” While that seems reasonable on the surface, why should anyone getting to know you take you at your word that you won’t always see her as “a third”? Try treating her as a person with equal rights to her own relationship desires now, and you won’t have to try to persuade her that things will change later. No, you’re not required (and probably not even advised) to immediately overhaul your life to give her equal time to your other partner – but you should be willing to give her equal consideration, effective immediately. Her feelings, desires, and boundaries matter just as much as anyone else’s – treat them accordingly.

“We just want to love her and treat her right.”

Sure, but that’s by your definition of loving someone and treating her right. If no one’s signing up, then you should consider that what you’re offering might not appeal. 

My recommendation to anyone who is frustrated with trying to date as a couple is simply: try dating separately. It’s not what a lot of people want to hear, but it’s kind of amazing how many more people are successful in dating as individuals. Does the thought make you nervous? That’s understandable. It can seem a lot less frightening to feel like you’re “in it together” with your partner. But I believe that if you truly trust each other to care for one another, you can spread your wings, freely date individually, and still have an incredibly loving bond. You are always in your relationship together, regardless of what happens in your other relationships.

And you know what? Every once in a blue moon, maybe one of your partners will be interested in another one of your partners, and you’ll end up in a triad where nobody feels like they have to date either both of you or neither of you, where nobody feels like they have to be the exact missing piece of your puzzle, and where everybody feels empowered to set boundaries and ask for what they need.

Heartlines - Part 5

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Summary: When Reader moves into Avengers Tower to finish her PhD in safety, the last thing she expects is to have something in common with the shy insomniac Bucky Barnes.

Warnings: psychological and physical abuse, torture, panic attacks, mental illness

A/N: this ones a lot longer with a lot more going on! we find out about readers past and her ex, and bucky is cute as hell. also, there’s i’ve written a part 5a for tony and bucky’s little excursion (you’ll understand when you get to it) if you guys wanna read that! let me know :)

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5A, Part 6Part 7, and  Part 8

Part 5

“He was my boyfriend,” you say, pressed into the corner of the couch with a blanket around your shoulders and a hot chocolate in your hands. You stare into it instead of at Bucky, on the opposite end of the couch and keeping a respectful distance even though you wish he wouldn’t.

Keep reading

This Christmas (Part Two)

Summary: In which this Christmas takes a turn for the unexpected when Bucky asks you a favor.

Pairing: Reader x Bucky

Word Count: 1,318

A/N: This part is dedicated to my love @ourpeachskies as well as her sister.

“This Christmas” Masterlist

Originally posted by mrscreek

“Will you be my girlfriend?”

The chip you were in the process of chewing goes down the wrong pipe. All sense of calm flies out the window as you lurch forward and start coughing. You desperately hope that doing so will help the half eaten chip dislodge itself. You never pictured your demise happening like this.

“Y/N!” Bucky starts hitting your back, terror as clear as day in his voice.

“Water,” you manage to say, feeling your face grow warm. He passes you one of the water bottles from the table and unscrews the top so you don’t have to. The cool liquid eases the painful tickle at the back of your throat, allowing you to finally swallow the chip.

Bucky has the decency to look apologetic when he says, “Are you okay?”

“Your girlfriend?” Saying those words makes your throat hurt and your head spin. You must’ve misheard him. That’s the only option that makes sense here. “You’re kidding, right?”

Keep reading

Why I love Nezumi

I’ve now had a week or two to digest the tail end of Juuni Taisen, and I have another week or two ahead until I watch it again (actually for the third time) when Funimation releases the dub, and of course Juuni Taisen is all that has been on my mind since then. I have a lot of thoughts and feelings swimming around in my head so it might help to write them down into a slightly more coherent mess.

Spoilers ahead! I recommend you finish the whole anime before proceeding!

(also just a quick warning this is a lOT LONGER THAN I INITIALLY INTENDED ;7;)

Keep reading

** SUBMISSION TO ME FROM fresharold**

okay so i’ve been keeping this for a while now simply because i don’t think we need proofs at this point to know that larry is real. i just simply didn’t think people would care about this and tbh i was afraid on getting into trouble. however lately i see people sharing their stories that i do believe are real in some cases so i thought why not sharing this cute one i thought it wasn’t that relevant.

okay so on 13th of july the boys came to my country for the wwa tour and what happened was told to me by my godfather (let’s call him O because im lazy to write this word). i’m not going to go too much into detail about his job not only because i don’t know much about it (he doesn’t share it because of professional reasons) but also because i don’t think it’d be right for me to expose such things. but basically he is the driver of an important person related to the the stadium where the concert happened. he drives him to places, he does errands and all those things that tbh i don’t understand but don’t really matter for this.

so that day O had to drive his boss there and he lives in the capital (not where the concert happened that day) so i didn’t even know he was going to be there. only the next day he had called me because even though we live far away from each other we are close to each other. the year before (for the tmh tour) he had gave me and my friend a place to sleep and then had driven us to the arena. so he has this little knowledge of the boys and how i like them. (details details). 

so he asked me how it was the concert and proceed to tell me that he had to go to the stadium because of his boss. when he told me he was actually in the same room as the boys i freaked out oKAY. he started by telling me that the boys are really loud but funny and nice, like i believe he might have met them when they were backstage going for the meet and greet for the make a wish organisation (which consequently made the boys get late to the actual concert). so they were probably just chilling before going to meet the fans (i don’t really know and he didn’t get into the detail so whatever DETAILS). 

O isn’t really that good in english but i’ve heard him talking and i feel like he knows the basics and understands most of it. he told me that “one guy kind of blonde i believe niall” (he said his name really weirdly) said hi to him and they started talking about football (predictable) and then “one really tall with a thing in his head” (harry) (he didn’t have long hair back in that time) came to shake his hand and introduced himself (he forgot his name right away, nice) 

so after that he asked me if i knew that he (harry) was in a relationship with other guy from the band. i was sooooo confused so i explained to him that there’s fans who believe harry an louis are together. he immediately recognised harry’s name when i said it by being the tall guy with a thing in his head and he said that it was louis who he met too because he had told him how to actually pronounce his name. (also predictable) (he also said that louis had cool tattoos on his right arm)

okay this was a year ago so i can’t quote the exact words he said to me but i never forgot the stuff he had noticed. he was having trouble with understanding what harry was saying to him and louis went to their side because he was finding funny what was happening. 

O said that he is 99% sure that louis called harry ‘love’ between all the words he said when approached them, which he asked me if it was normal for friends to treat other friends by that term. I immediately said that it wasn’t usual. he continued by telling me that louis tried to make him comfortable with the fact he couldn’t understand english 100% AND I REMEMBER HIM TELLING ME “i noticed that harry had his arm around louis’ waist, which i normally do with my wife and not with my friends” MY EYES WATERED BECAUSE YES O YOU UNDERSTAND ME !!! 

he said that then harry was mostly quiet and every time louis was talking he was looking at him “in a cute way i must say” (this was so weird to hear O saying). so it’s not like this proves they’re in a relationship so i asked him if it was that that make him think they were together so he told me (im gonna use “” but be aware these aren’t his exact words obviously) 

“we were mostly talking about my job and when i say i’m from lisbon louis says that he and harry wanted to explore it better when they were there last year but there was no time for that. i found interesting that he said just harry and not their other friends so i ask if they got along better together than with the others. harry is the one answering this time saying that he and louis have a special relationship. louis says something that i didn’t understand and believe it was meant just for the two of them to listen to. he then looks at me and says that he and harry are inseparable. i started suspecting what was going on there but obviously didn’t ask. i believe that then louis said to me to think whatever i wanted in respect of those words and i decided to tell them what it’s worth seeing in lisbon if they even thought about going there, not pressing the subject”

this is the important stuff summarised okay keep in mind that O found weird the fact i said to him then that they’re supposed to be on the closet since they were so open about it with a stranger, who could immediately make a homophobic comment or even expose everything “which is what i’m doign here when i’m telling you this.”  especially when they seemed to be so proud and delighted next to each other.

he said that for him what happened behind his eyes was the enough to think they were really together. I WAS TRYING SO HARD NOT TO CRY U CANT IMAGINE at the end i thanked him so many times for telling me this that he thought i was crazy,

AND a month ago (?) i went to his place and he talked to me saying that he saw on the news that harry was dating sara sampaio (she is a portuguese model reason why it was said on TV) and found weird the fact they haven’t come out yet but wasn’t suprised that things like that was said on the media if it’s meant for them not to come out to their fans “they probably think that the fact they’re together would affect the girls that think they’ll marry them” (funny)

Meant to be

Summary :  A world, a world where people have soulmates, each and every person on earth is connected, bonded to another one, wherever this person is. A world where soulmates can communicate with each other through skin, everything wrote/sketched/drew on the skin, will appear on the soulmate’s and disappear few minutes later.

Word count : 1462

Genre : SoulMate!AU - Fluff - Maybe some Angst in the future parts ?

I apologize for every grammar or spelling mistake, keep in mind that English isn’t my first language ♥ 

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6

A world.

A world where people have soulmates.

Each and every person on earth is connected, bonded to another one, wherever this person is. 

A world where soulmates can communicate with each other through skin; everything written/sketched/drawn on the skin, will appear on the soulmate’s and disappear few minutes later.

That’s her, that’s the world she lives in. Y/N, 20 years old, Seoul girl.

She never understood any of this. Why, why calling someone a “soulmate” if you never saw, talked, met that person. It was totally a stupid thing she thought, and that’s for that exact reason that she never tried, never tried writing anything on her body, never tried to know anything about that man, and thankfully, whoever her soulmate was, he never did either.


God she hated Mondays. Why? Because of University, because of all the idiots she sees there everyday. Of course she didn’t hate everyone, she had a bunch of friends she stayed with, Lucy, her closest one, same opinion about the soulmate thing, same height, same hair color, basically, Lucy was the sister she never had, she could talk about anything and everything with her without the scary thought of being judge. Then there was Kate and Bonnie, the twins. These two had the complete opposite thoughts about soulmates and life. All they were thinking about was finding their “true love” and spending the rest of their lives with them, but besides that, besides their foolish dreams of love, they were the sweetest, nicest girls of the whole school.

Like every mondays, the little group met up in front of the Uni gates to greet each others.

Like every monday morning, everyone will sum up their week ends. Lucy didn’t do much as usual, she went to visit some friends in Daegu, while the twins had the most exciting days of their lives, apparently. Kate’s soulmate finally “answered” and by the way her eyes transformed into thin lines due to her smile, we could definitely tell she was happy, as happy as she was when her sister’s soulmate drew a heart on her wrist for the fist time, and Y/N, well she stayed home, on her computer, killing the time, it was May anyways, almost the end of school, even tho she knows she’s supposed to study, she can’t help but procrastinate…

Sadly, the excitement of the twins was cut off by the annoying bell, signalizing that the first class was starting, that she will have to deal with the people that annoyed her the most, once again.

She sat in the back of the class, as always, avoiding the annoying girls who were always trying to write on her arm and the stupid boys, who were giving her weird looks.

That day was like every other monday, at least she thought.

She was home, all warmed up under her fluffy cover, and her lovely cat next to her, whom was waiting for some cuddles. It was past midnight, usually she was long asleep, but not tonight. She was too preoccupied thinking about her friend, her friend who was finally in contact with her soulmate. She found her reaction more than stupid, but she knew that Kate was completely different from her, and that to her that whole soulmate system sounded right, that it was romantic to communicate through skin, that it was amazing knowing someone is connected to you, that you belonged to someone.

She was patting her cat’s head mumbling about how crazy this whole story was, until she noticed something unusual on her wrist, lighten up by the reflection of the pale moonlight through her curtains.

“P. J”

“No, oh hell no” she thought. “This can’t be happening, everything was just fine, he didn’t try to know me, to talk to me, why now, and why this, is this some kind of signature ? Does this person thinks I belong to him ?”

Little did she know that this person was writing the exact same letters at the exact same place every night at this time…

Here he was laying in his bed, looking at the ceiling and wondering. “Should I try to communicate with her during daylight ? Or should I just keep trying late at night ? If she doesn’t try, maybe it’s because she doesn’t want to know me ? Nah, every girls wanna know about her “prince charming” right ? Aish, why is this thing even existing ! How are we supposed to love a person we don’t even know uh ? That’s bullshit !”

Every once in a while, late at night he will think about it, about what to do, and he will have the same conclusion everytime. “If she really wants, she’ll do something first, anything” But it never stopped him from giving hints.

P.J – Park Jimin, 21 years old, that’s who he was. Living in Busan with his best friend Jeon Jungkook who was slightly younger than him, both of them working in a coffee shop, near their flat.

He envies some guys, when he saw them with their girlfriends at work, smiling, laughing, and flirting  by writing sweet things onto each other arms. He envies their happiness, he wants to feel this too, to feel loved, to love, to see this sparkle in his partner’s eyes, to see her smile, to be able to touch her, to talk to her directly.

He even envied Jungkook, this kid was communicating with his soulmate since High School, and now, she moved to Busan to be closer to him, he wanted this too, he wanted to love someone so much that he’ll be ready to leave his friends and his family behind to go live with her. He wanted this so much, everyday a little more.

Wednesday, his day off. He was alone at home, Jungkook was too busy at his soulmate’s house, just thinking about it, it drove him crazy. He looked at the pale skin of right arm, and sighed, he took a pen and without thinking anymore, he started writing.

“Tired of waiting, I wanna know you. P.J”

It was in the middle of Maths class, when she was half asleep that some crazy girl screamed out loud :

“OH MY GOD Y/N ACTUALLY HAS A SOULMATE !” Which woke her up immediately.

She looked at that girl confusedly, before seeing the black ink on her skin.

“Tired of waiting, I wanna know you. P.J”

That P.J again… But that wasn’t the worst, the worst was that everybody was now looking at her, eyes open wide. She was like the ‘rebel’ girl who never wrote anything and no one ever saw something on her, so people started thinking that she wasn’t like everyone, that she was just a poor girl without anyone meant for her. It was one of the reason that she thought those people were stupid, unluckily, she knew, she knew she was like everyone else, that she had her destiny kind of planned, and that the love of her life was somewhere on this planet, waiting for her to talk to him.

She quickly got off of her seat, and run to the bathroom, trying to clean up these words, but the ink wouldn’t disappear.

“Shit, of course it has to disappear by itself…”

Anger taking the best of her, she took a pen out of her pencil case and wrote something back, to her own surprise :

“I don’t want to, leave me alone P.J”

It was the same thing every day, Him being tired of waiting to hear from her, so he would randomly write stuff like “At least tell me your name, where you live” And her ignoring him, simply because answering him would be too easy and against her state of mind.

“Soulmates are just some type of fantasies, you can’t just be in love with someone you don’t know just because you’re somehow connected to him” She wrote.

“And I just think you’re too scared of this whole thing to even listen to your heart” He answered “You can’t tell me you didn’t want to know about  me, I know it’s not true”

“We are connected and even if your brain tells you no, your heart tells you yes”

She didn’t know why, but this man was true, even thought she hated to admit it, she thought about writing him more than once in her lifetime, just to know his name, or some details about him, but she didn’t, maybe not because she was scared, more because she just didn’t believe in that. She wanted to believe that it could be love, true love, but couldn’t. So she decided to never ever try to contact the person she was connected to.

Until today

So this is the first chapter of Meant To Be, a Soulmate!AU, I wanted to give it a shot, so if you guys like it I might continue it, or maybe not I’ll see your reactions

Admin K

Suga (Part 1) - Yoongi x Reader

this will be my second series even when the first isn’t even close to an end. 

Group : BTS (yes, again)

Member : Min Yoongi

Genre : cheating (?), affair, smut (later), fluff 

Word Count : 1913

Description : what would you do if you meet the exact copy of your boyfriend, whose yet the exact opposite - who knows all your desires with one glance? 

nextpart II


Originally posted by btsjibooty

Keep reading

Hoseok; not this one, no

✉ tadaaaaaaaaa badoop
►3866 words | scenario
© (photo credit) 

‘You’re at the grocer’s without me again? I told you to wake me up so I can tag along! :(’

You’re snorting at the message, already hearing how whiny he’d be because he has mentioned countless of times that he wants to be a good boyfriend, helping you carry the bags from the cart, reaching for the things on the shelf you can’t get on your own without calling help from the staff, paying for it with his card rather than yours—oh, he’s been through this many, many times with you but when he’s coming home looking all tired, drained from the numerous concerts and dance practices, the time he has is divided between attending to his own needs and you.

When he’s curled up in the bedsheets and blanket, eyes shut as he drifts away from reality, it’s hard to take that away from him when he looks too precious when he sleeps—he’s known that by now.

Merely the night before you mentioned that if he wakes up and you’re not there to not worry because you’re going to the grocer’s and he’s curling into your lap, kissing your skin before he murmurs wake me up, I wanna come with and you tell him no, you should sleep—the eye bags are getting worse and he snorts, looking up to you, wow, you really don’t hold back your words anymore. You tell him that he knows what you mean when you say that and he tells you yeah, he does, but he wants to follow and just to muse him, you say sure, sure, I will and he says his thanks, shows it through a kiss on your lips as he inches up and then he falls back down into the mattress and sleeps the tiredness away—yep, you’re definitely not going to wake him up.

It’s half past eleven and look, that brings you to reply Hoseok’s text.

‘You were sleeping so peacefully! I couldn’t bear to wake you. ; w ;’

‘Don’t you even try to act cute through texts. DON’T YOU DARE’

‘I got you your favorite sweets…’

‘Come home quick.’

Keep reading

request: JI to the KOOK - non-AU, jimin secretly writes a famous on-going BTS fic (any otp of your choice) and kook is also a reader of it. 

A/N: Holy shit this got really long I’m so sorry sweats it’s like over 1.8k for a headcanon I’m so sorry sweats and I took so long too ghdlsgilsdhgdfgs I’m so sorry but I hope you’ll like it <3

Note: Non-au Jikook, somewhat crack, fluff/comedy with fanfic-writer Jimin?!!??!!

  • Jimin swears, it all started out as a joke, something for him to laugh about then maybe show Taehyung just to see the way his best-friend will flip him off in either embarrassment or amusement. He was just reading a few fanfics out of curiosity, some that the fans have linked — he has to admit, some of their writings are really good, there’s also some that he can never comprehend, and there’s also the… abandoned ones.
  • Jimin is literally left to die high and dry when he realizes that there’s no more next chapter to this particular fanfiction that’s so, so good and god, he’s so frustrated all he thinks about that day is the ending of that story that he will never get to find out.
  • Before he realizes it, Jimin begins to picture how the ending will be if he’s the one writing it. Before he realizes it, he’s visualizing more than just the ending — he’s thinking about the stories that would unfold if he’s the one who’s writing it. The pace that he would set, the genres he would explore and….
  • Jimin begins writing one himself.
  • It’s all supposed to be a joke, really, because once he has actually uploaded the story onto AO3 (yes, he created an account before just to leave kudos everywhere), all Jimin thought to himself is the hilarious response he’s going to get and snickered to himself pretty badly. People would laugh at how atrocious this is, and Jimin will take it down after showing it to Taehyung, the main character of his little story that’s in love with the Min Yoongi.
  • His best-friend might murder him, but he thinks the reaction he’s going to get is worth it.
  • His phone buzzes with an alert for a new mail. There comes the first comment for his ridiculous story. Then followed by a second one, close to an hour later — and a third one by end of practice. Jimin doesn’t check them right away, he wants to read them all at one time right before he sleeps, which is why he’s now stoning at where he stands in the corridor, surprised to see the amount of emails he has gotten from AO3 for his fanfiction.
  • He has gotten close to fifteen comments in a day, and god, what the fuck none of the comments is talking about how ridiculous his story is, how much of a troll he actually is — in fact, none of them is viewing this story like it’s bad. They… loved it, so how. There’s all sorts of comments about how they are hooked update soon.
  • Somehow, Jimin doesn’t scrap the story. God damn comments (he received even more for the next two weeks) actually managed to fuel him in a way he hasn’t expected them to. Made him stop in the middle of nowhere any time of the day just to think about what’s going to happen next? He stopped the story right after Taehyung confessed, but what else?
  • (If Jimin becomes more observant of how Taehyung and Yoongi actually behave in real life to each other, nobody has to know. Only Jimin, who wants to know if they would paint a pretty picture with one of them pressed against the wall by the other — for fuck’s sake, Jimin.)
  • Jimin ends up writing seven more chapters before he realises it, and right now as he writes the eighth chapter on Jungkook’s laptop (his own one is malfunctioning and he isn’t taking any chances to lose his hard-work over technical issues), he writes it with pride and a sense of professionalism that never existed before.
  • This isn’t a joke anymore. His story isn’t a joke, c’mon. He doesn’t even want to show it to Taehyung to make the other laugh anymore. This is… something precious. Something that he pieced together carefully and it’s something that he’s proud to say he’s an author of. Just not to the members yet, just… not yet. He doesn’t think he’s ready for the wrath of Yoongi when he finds out Jimin’s been writing to over more than a hundred subscribers over him and Taehyung pining over each other miserably.
  • “…. Hold up.”
  • And when Jimin said he’s not ready to be found out, he means it. So why the fuck is the maknae standing right behind him, looking into his word document that he’s ten seconds too late to minimize? Jimin swears his heart’s so close to falling out of his chest when Jungkook simply stares at him for a long while even after Jimin has turned in his seat to face the taller male who’s standing, and god, by the looks on the younger male, Jimin knows he’s been caught. Jungkook definitely read the whole mess of Taehyung and Yoongi falling out instead of falling back together—
  • “Okay, okay, Jungkook, look, I can explain—”
  • “… Hold up, just, give me a fucking moment—”
  • “Urm…. okay, like I said, ha, I can explain!”
  • “You wrote Yoongi-hyung and Taehyung being in a cold war after a fight?” Yea, Jungkook definitely read parts of what he was typing away at. “I— Hyung, you wrote that? How could you?”
  • “… Well, fuck, this all started out as a joke, I swear to god and—”
  • “You’re making them fall out after everything they have been through? The fuck? Then what was that scene in the rain for? Nothing? You mean everything that happened that night is going to be forgotten by the both of them?” Jungkook snaps with a confused expression, and before Jimin realizes, he’s looking back with the exact same expression because that was… a few chapters ago. The rain scene, yes. Hold the fucking up. “…Wait. Fuck. Park Jimin.”
  • Jimin doesn’t even call the other out for dropping formalities, because now they are just looking at each other with a solemn look.
  • “You wrote this.” It’s like Jungkook only just allowed the truth to hit.
  • “… And you read this.”
  • Silence follows right after for seconds, and both of them just stand there without moving (but Jimin’s head is full of his own confused shrieks and panicking screams) until Jungkook holds a finger up, like he’s about to speak—
  • Then Jungkook fucking flees.
  • None of them speaks to each other but what happened for the next five days. Everything’s awkward, with the both of them trying to avoid each other and turning into a mess if they are stuck together with either Yoongi or Taehyung. It’s like all fucking alarms are set off, and Jimin just has to fucking run. This is what paranoia does, Jimin guesses (even if Jungkook’s just using his phone in the living room, he’s picturing the younger male reading something).
  • This awkward hide and seek ends the instant one fine fucking night — Jimin spots Taehyung sleeping on the couch with his head on Yoongi’s laps as the older male busied himself with his phone. Jimin swears he almost let out some ridiculous noise, but it’s all stuck in his throat the instant Yoongi looked over and put a finger against his own lips like he’s telling Jimin to not wake the other up. Jimin shuts up, of course he does but how is he supposed to when this is practically one of the scenes he has actually written in the latest chapter?!
  • “What the fuck,” Jungkook’s voice comes from behind.
  • Jimin literally drags the younger male back into his room and before Jimin knows it, they have both turned into a fucking mess, rambling about how that fucking sight was the exact duplicate of the latest chapter, odd excitement apparent in their words and god, at one point, Jimin is sure he threw a pillow at Jungkook because he’s so giddy-headed — and the maknae just catches it before yelling into it.
  • It was an awkward night.
  • They don’t talk about it fucking again, — but ever since, Jimin goes to Jungkook every time he’s writing a new chapter.
  • Turns out, Jungkook is like the biggest fan of all times of what Jimin has written. Jungkook has actually created an account just to fucking leave some comments (though the younger male would rather die than to say which comment belongs to him) and it’s really fun when you’re plotting a story with someone who’s just so engaged and pumped up for it. Jungkook might always pretend so hard like he didn’t get all fueled up while sharing his ideas, but Jimin knows, of course. It’s cute.
  • Jungkook eventually helps Jimin in more than just one way. Other than being his consulter and beta, there are also times when Jungkook helps out when Jimin faces a writer’s block. This is the real thing that they don’t talk about. Sometimes, Jimin doesn’t know how to write out a scene he has in his head — he can picture the storyline, but somehow, he just can’t get the words flowing. Doesn’t know where to emphasize, doesn’t know what his characters would be doing, how they’d feel by being in such a close proximity with each other.
  • Jungkook acts out Jimin’s storyline with Jimin, of course.
  • “Do you think maybe Yoongi-hyung’s going to hit Taehyung here?”
  • “Don’t you dare use that as an excuse to throw that pillow at me— hey! Jeon Jungkook!”
  • At first it’s all giggles and laughter, because god damn it is funny when Jungkook tries too hard to look grumpy and stoic as Yoongi and Jimin over-exaggerates when he pretends to be his best-friend. Both of them just end up laughing so hard when Jungkook suddenly turns serious and drags Jimin close like what Yoongi has done in the story to Taehyung, the both of them suddenly go silent. All Jimin can think about right then is how nice Jungkook’s cologne smells, how warm Jungkook’s arms feel and… Jungkook.
  • Jimin and Jungkook end up reenacting scenes from the fan fictions more than just one time — it happens at least once every time Jimin has to update, and if Jimin noticed how natural Jungkook is now when he puts his arms around Jimin’s frame and tucks Jimin’s shoulder under his chin, Jimin doesn’t say a thing. He doesn’t want anything to change.
  • The line gets crossed one night when Jungkook accidentally pulls Jimin over too closely, and they ended up tripping over their own feet and falling into the bed just right behind Jungkook. Jimin’s practically pressed onto Jungkook, and even though his forehead hurts, Jungkook’s quick to rub gently at where it’s red, cupping at his cheeks and asking if he’s alright.
  • Jimin can only look at the other in surprise because god — Jungkook’s lips look soft.
  • “Do you think maybe… Taehyung will kiss Yoongi here?” Jungkook’s the one who breaks the silence. Jimin hasn’t even realized no one’s been talking.
  • “Do you think Yoongi wants him to?”
  • “I think he’d like that a lot, yeah.”
  • Jimin inhales, smiles, before he dives down to kiss at Jungkook’s lips with his heart shaking so fucking much.


  • “Hyung, don’t you think Jungkook and Jimin should be together in the story too?”
  • “… Jungkook—”
  • “C’mon, you literally have the materials right here for your inspiration.”