and i just love everything about this book!!

I want you to be infinite
and because of that
I’ll write down everything I know
about the way your fingers move
or how you bite your lip.
And just like the moon
who’s beauty can never be shown in a picture,
my writing will never be as complete as you are
and I could write novels about your eyes
without ever really
getting close
to the truth.
—  // loving somebody
j.d.m.

Omfg I am part of an LGBT book club in my uni and today we were discussing the lack of happy, fluffy stories about gay couples which don’t center around accepting your sexuality and coming out or homophobia and one of the girls eventually went “Okay, you might hate me for this because it’s not a book, but there is an anime-”

And another girl cut her off and went “Don’t tell me - Yuri on Ice?” And then they immediately started screaming and gushing over how good it was, how it was everything we wanted (especially in context of how there weren’t enough happy stories where the characters just happen to be gay and in a gay relationship) and I quickly joined in and squealed about it with them.

We ended up recommending it to the other people and the president of the book club agreed to watch it and was excited to check it out.

So yeah, Yuri on Ice is now helping me meet new people in uni, and helping me find people who loved it as much as I did in real life. I already thought its impact was amazing, but wow it never stops surprising me.

I forgive you.

you never apologized for everything that you ever put me through and you probably didn’t even notice any of it because people usually don’t notice things they dont care about, and thats what I was to you. I was just another person that existed, I was just another person that made you feel like you were worth something.

All you ever did was make me feel incomplete. I’d look at myself for hours until I could no longer recognize anything in trying to figure out why you don’t love me in the way I put love into you.
And even if you didn’t love me in that way, why couldn’t you at least be a good damn friend.

but you never gave me a thing. and I used to stay up at night trying to convince myself that you cared about me when I knew damn well you never did.
I always knew what I was to you but I tried to ignore it for so long, I convinced myself otherwise because when you know that the person that you love, does not even give a damn about you something inside you shuts off and I couldn’t deal with that and I didn’t want to accept that so I kept trying to see something that was never there.
I think thats what destroyed me in the end, knowing the reality of what we were but trying to look past that and find something that wasn’t there.
I was looking for so long, I got lost and forgot what I was looking for.
and I forgive you.
I forgive you for all of it, I forgive you for the nights I stayed up crying because you chose her. I forgive you for leaving and then coming back just so you could leave all over again. I forgive you for the things that you said when you and i both knew you didn’t mean them. and I forgive you for using me to try and fill the hole that she left in you. I forgive you for using me as a fix for your confidence because throughout everything all I ever saw was how great you are, and all you ever did was feed of that.

and now I forgive myself.
I forgive myself for everything that I put myself through. I forgive myself for letting myself believe that you really were the greatest part of me. I forgive myself for loving you when you weren’t worth a damn thought.

because after stepping away, I see it all so clearly now. After I accepted what I really was to you, everything else made more sense.
I destroyed myself in loving you and for that I am so sorry but when I say I forgive you, I mean I forgive myself, I forgive giving so much of myself to someone that didn’t care how my day was going. I forgive myself for all the hurt I endured.

—  I have to let go, and to do that I need to forgive.
Falling for someone new terrifies me, because I’m afraid of losing the feeling of home that comes with loving you. It just comes down to the fact that everything about you is so familiar to me; I know how holding your hand feels, and your kiss, and your smell, and I don’t know if I’m ready to learn what home is again.
—  j.f. // and yet it’s such a sweet sensation that someone else can make me catch my breath again • excerpts of stories I will never write
Types Of FPs

Type 1: The Main FP™. You know the one, the light of your life. Usually a friend, s/o, crush, etc.

Type 2: the celebrity/fictional fp. You’re obsessed with them, have seen every show/movie/video and/or read every book. It’s not uncommon for one to not know everything about them and then split when they become problematic/do something unlikable

Type 3: the lowkey (potential) fp. For me usually somebody I follow on tumblr, but could be anybody you barely know but still idolize, just not to the point of obsession & undying love. They tend to switch around a lot, too.

Love doesn’t need to last a lifetime for it to be real. You can’t judge the quality of a love by the length of time it lasts. Everything dies, love included. Sometimes it does with a person, sometimes it does on its own. The greatest love story ever told doesn’t have to be about two people who spent their whole lives together. It might be about a love that lasted two weeks or two months or two years, but burned brighter and hotter and more brilliantly than any other love before or after.
—  Krystal Sutherland, Our Chemical Hearts

reallyfatcutepug  asked:

Hello Cassandra :) My friend recommended me your books just about a month ago and believe me or not I've finished all of them already. I couldn't help myself, but keep reading. I've never believed I would love any fiction books as much as HP, but I do now. And I don't know what to do next 2 months... Now I'd like to ask about Julian, since he is my personal hero and I have no idea how can he handle everything in his life... Will we see some positive or happy moments for him in LoS too?

It’s interesting when I get questions like this, because there are very few characters I write whose lives are unendingly awful. While Julian is under a lot of stress and is experiencing heartbreak, he’s also a person with a lot of resilience. You don’t get to be where he’s at without being strong. Julian’s siblings aren’t just a heavy responsibility, they’re also a source of great joy for him. Julian’s relationship with Emma is in flux, but it’s also still important to him. Even now, there are moments of happiness shared between them. 

And don’t forget, Julian is a schemer. He actually really enjoys his scheming. Maybe a little too much. ; )

This is how I’d fallen out of love of him:

I didn’t. It just that one day I woke up, and I just.. I just didn’t feel anything for him. Not love, not like, not hate, nor anger, not even sadness or disappointment, just.. nothing. Like my heart entered a sudden oblivion, and it just forgot. It forgot to remember to care for him or to think of him, and in a blink of an eye, everything about him, every feelings I associated with him is erased, and he didn’t matter anymore. Like he never really mattered at all.

And I’m okay with it. I mean, it’s a lot like looking at a blank grey canvas, what do you suppose to feel about it? Nothing, right? Nothing and just okay.
—  cynthia go // This is how I’d fallen out of love with him // excerpt from a book i’ll never write #33
Storm in the Room thoughts

I’m about to go to sleep but I wanted to share a few thoughts on Storm in the Room!

I loved it. Easily one of my favorite episodes of the series (maybe even like, top ten). This meeting between Rose and Steven is something people have been thinking and theorizing about since literally episode one, and I just felt like the payoff was so good.

The thing that cements it as great in my book is the last couple of minutes, when the storm starts. First of all, the storm is so visually striking and the animation is stunning!! Rose’s hair looks great, Steven’s expressions and the framing of everything felt totally perfect. I really, really liked the way the colors of the room changed to a darker pallette that was still colorful. Normally depicting storm clouds in cartoons is so dull, because the only thing that changes is the clouds turn gray. For this, we got a beautifully animated and colored scene that definitely sticks out. The visual of Rose in the center of a storm with Steven kneeled down in front of her was really heavy hitting. And I feel like making peace with his role with regard to Rose will help Steven move forward, for sure.

It seems like he has to come to terms with the fact that he will never *actually* know or have a relationship with his mom. But then, the ending really tied it together by showing that despite not having his mom in his life, he still has a *great* support network and a loving family that will ALWAYS be there for him, so he’s never truly alone. Plus oh my gosh it was adorable seeing them all roll in and cheer Steven up, even though they had no idea what had just happened–it was exactly what he needed. And you know what I need? More adorable fluff, slice-of-life type stuff that includes the Gems. Cuz this pizza party is just so cute?? I also need sleep, so I’m gonna head out. Love you guys!

a letter to the past us:

be happy; forget about all the outside problems and just be happy. tell each other everything; don’t leave a single thing out. hold each other’s hands; it’s a way of saying ‘i love you’ without having to actually say it. love with every fiber of your body; show the other person that you appreciate them and are grateful to have them in your life. there will be days when you won’t talk to one another, that’s okay. when you do talk again, tell the person what they missed, and that their absence was unbearable. when problems arise, talk about them; how you felt, how to solve them, and how you’re not going to leave. don’t take anything for granted; appreciate the times you have with each other to the fullest extent. this isn’t a movie, nor is it a tv show; this is reality and sometimes it’s going to be hard. on some days, you’ll think that the pain is intolerable, you’ll think that the damage is irreversible, but i promise, you guys will get through it because your love is stronger than either of you will ever understand. smile at one another; this shows that you enjoy the other’s presence. laugh at each other’s jokes, even if they’re not funny, and believe me, neither of you are comedians. sing at the top of your lungs; blast your music in the car and sing along with each other. never take each other for granted; just because you guys forgave each other doesn’t mean it’s okay to do it again. just love each other because that’s all you can do; love every flaw and every imperfection just as much as you love the great things about them. and when the time comes when love is just not enough anymore, let one another go. remember all the love and all the good times, but be selfless and let him/her find happiness; let yourself find happiness. you’ll still love each other, that won’t stop, ever, but it’ll be a different kind of love; just as strong, but for different reasons.

  • what she says: im fine
  • what she means: the death of Ianto Jones was completely unnecessary and it just makes me angry that they killed of a great potentially bisexual character (even though he said to his sister that it wasn’t men, it was only Jack) and no one cares about him and im just so angry that they couldnt let Jack keep someone he loved even for just a human lifetime and Ianto was so underappreciated and i really really love him and the audio books are great but i just wanted more of him in the tv show and i feel like they wasted a great opportunity for a great plot regarding him and Jack and they completely fucked the show up for me and series 4 sucks ass and everything sucks and I Miss Ianto Jones A Lot™ and then they both die and Jack wakes up among all the bodies and He Just Sits next to Ianto's corpse and mourns and i hate this show

Learning to read was hard for Cass.  Interpreting the written word is far different from interpreting body language, and Cass’s brain is wired differently as a result of her abusive childhood.  But after Cass had to ask Steph to read a ransom note aloud in order to continue chasing down criminals (Batgirl vol. 2), she realized that knowing how to read would be useful.

[Batgirl #67]

Because of Cass’s learning disability, it takes her a long time to make significant progress.  Babs coaches her and explores different methods of learning, and eventually Cass is able to read full length novels (albeit slowly).  When Cass did learn how to read, she fell in love with books.  A well-written book is far less predictable than a person, and Cass loved how words seemed to make places and characters come alive in her head.  She would read anything from historical fiction to high fantasy, but quickly became able to tell when a story was poorly written.  The characters would seem less real, and the words wouldn’t flow as easily.  Cass began to spend a lot of free time in the library, and Babs would point out good books that she remembered from her time as a librarian.  Tim also had quite a repertoire of books from his childhood, since he needed something to entertain himself with when his parents were away.  He let Cass have free reign of his collection and gave her recommendations.  The rest of the batfamily also began to gift her books that they enjoyed when they learned about her new passion.

Cass never grew tired of how written words could somehow transform into people as though personalities were interwoven into pages.  She marveled at how she could spend hours completely immersed in a story, oblivious to the world around her (or as oblivious as she can get with her skills).  Books had opened up entire worlds for her.  She secretly hoped that someday she would be able to create worlds of her own.    

To anyone and everyone who wants more diversity in their YA summer reading:

You should 100% read Tell Me Again How a Crush Should Feel by Sara Farizan

Why?

-Persian lesbian main character whose voice is absolutely wonderful and charming and achingly real. If you don’t love Leila, you don’t love yourself, tbh.

-other notable lady characters include, but are not limited to: a vampire techie, a gorgeous Jewish athlete who’s having a hard time coping with the loss of her brother, a hot hot literature teacher, and, of course, a mysterious transfer student from Switzerland

-(the dude characters are pretty cool too: a WASPy gay drama queen, a laid-back black dude who loves zombie movies, a loud seventh-grader, and a conservative Persian dad who is distressed about how much hip hop is about butts)

-hilarious lines such as: “I try to keep my mind busy through the silence. Is there chocolate-flavored gum yet? Did I remember to clear my browser history of lesbian folk music sites? I’ve been learning a lot about Ani DiFranco. I don’t even like folk music, but I guess I’d better see what all the fuss is about if I am to join my people.”

-it’s very engaging and not too long: I knocked it off in an afternoon because I couldn’t put it down

-HEART. WRENCHING.

-(seriously though I teared up a time or two which isn’t actually that big a deal because I cry over everything but still it’s really good and you should read it)

For once, time was under our control, or maybe just yours. There with my lips pressed against yours, the seconds finally stopped ticking. Or maybe it just felt like they did, but I was too busy feeling everything that was you to care about specifics. The best part? My mind stopped too. There was nothing else more important than the feel of your fingertips and your body melting into mine, and my brain acknowledged that, focusing on just this moment. If this was forever, I’d have no objections.
—  Maxwell Diawuoh, Request: That awesome feeling you get when someone you like kisses you.

I’m actually so mad at myself for falling in love with a character who is dead and not even mentioned that often throughout an entire 7-book series, like??? I’m just mad that everything about James Potter resonates in the pits of my soul when all I really know about him is that he was goofy and talented and arrogant and unfailingly loyal and protective and that he ran his hands through his hair like a big dork and that he DIED AT 21 standing up for his child and his wife and for what he believed in ok I love him so much and it’s Upsetting

I love when I first wake up.
Nothing is in focus and for a brief second,
It isn’t about you.
I am not mad and I don’t miss you.
Everything is fine.

But just give it a minute.

—  Time Heals All, Except This. // @kylie-not-kylis