Don’t Know How- Jillian Holtzmann
A/N: I’m Holtzmann trash and I needed somewhere to express that. I don’t feel as though I’ve done it justice, but it’s one of probably many to come.
Prompt: Jillian’s been ignoring the reader for awhile and not acting like her normal, goofball self, so the reader tries to figure out what’s going on.
Pairing: Jillian Holtzmann x Reader (gender neutral)
Warnings/ Word Count: The good stuff’s at the end, just some makin’ out/ 2,150
“Alright ladies! What’s on the agenda for today?” You loudly announce your presence as you burst through the doors of the Ghostbusters HQ (otherwise known as the upstairs area of the Chinese restaurant). You notice all of the heads in the room turn to you and simultaneously look down at the boxes of pizza in your hands.
“(Y/N)! Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes? We’ve been stuck here for hours and we’re starving!” Abby greets you and meets you halfway into the lab to take the food out of your hands and sets it on the booth in the corner of the room. While you weren’t an official member of the team, you were definitely their backbone and support. You met Abby and Erin in college and stuck by Abby’s side as she continued her interest in the paranormal.
“Well, why didn’t anyone call me? I would’ve come sooner had I known.” You reply grabbing a slice of pizza from one of the boxes and walking over to the table where Erin and Patty were standing before they rushed to the boxes on the table. Kevin greeted you and came to grab a slice before he sat back down at his desk in the other room. Jillian was still standing at the table, eyes fixed in concentration, focusing on the wires that were sticking out of one of the proton packs and cutting some out. “Hey Holtzmann. What’cha workin’ on?” You leaned over the other side of the table and took a bite from the pizza. It took a few tries of calling her name before she heard you. She snaps into reality and frantically looks up at you, keeping eye contact for only a second before she drops her wire cutters and stands tall, shifting her balance from one leg to the other.
“Oh, hi (Y/N)!” She grins widely and laughs an uncomfortable laugh. She refused to look at you, her eyes shifted from the table, to the wall, back to the table, literally anywhere else n the room except at you. “I, uh, have to do some rewiring in the packs because for some reason, every time we try to turn them on, they, um, shock us. Like, badly. There are still some kinks I have to work out.” The smile disappears from her face and she immediately hunches back over the dissected pack laid across the table. “Okay, well there’s some pizza at the booth. Take a break, get something to eat.” You say kindly, hoping she’d at least take a break so she didn’t starve to death over a damn proton pack. She doesn’t say a thing and continues working. Walking over to the booth, the girls are indulging in pizza while they sit and chat. You scoot in next to Patty and glance over where Jillian stands just working away.
You turn your head to join in on the conversation being held, grabbing another slice of pizza and hearing Erin and Abby playfully bicker. “Hey, Jill doesn’t really seem like herself today. She’s always one for warm welcomes, especially when food is involved. Is she alright?” You quietly say so Holtzmann doesn’t hear. “I don’t know, she’s been acting a little weird recently. She’s not that loud, joke-cracking girl that she usually is. And she won’t say what’s going on.” Patty leans into you to say. You look back over at the lonely girl and bite the inside of your cheek, letting out a deep sigh.
Everyone stopped for a second to look at her and you as well before returning to their conversation, but you kept your eyes on her. You made your way out of the booth and took one of the almost empty boxes of pizza with you as you made your way over to her. You held the box in between the space where her hands and face were and she jumped in surprise.
“Please eat something.” You said when she didn’t make a move for a piece. Jillian let out a small sigh. “C’mon, I know you’re hungry; you’ve gotta be.” Her hand slowly reached for a slice and you let out a chuckle, setting the box to the side. You pulled a stool towards the table and she did the same. You noticed the change of expression, a smile growing on her face as she took her first bite, but she still refused to meet your gaze. It didn’t really matter though because you got a smile out of her, and you loved her smile. The two of you finished eating the remaining slices in that box, and you reminded her that there were two more and she just chuckled, staring out of the window at nothing in particular.
You stayed for the rest of the day, keeping Kevin company until his shift was over and he left for the night. Then you went back over to the girls just in time for Jillian to make the final adjustments on the first of the four proton packs. Everyone walked to the alley behind the restaurant and played a game of Rock, Paper, Scissors to see who’d test if the pack was truly fixed. Erin was the unlucky victim, but reassuringly, there was no shock when it was turned on. She shot a couple of practice targets to make sure nothing else went wrong. Once the pack was declared fixed, everyone went back upstairs and got ready to head out for the night. All except Holtzmann. She hung the fixed pack on the wall, grabbed another and set it down at the table and began working. The rest of the team was too tired from all of the other work they did during the day, so they didn’t bother arguing with her to call it a day. But you agreed to stay with her and keep her company after the others left.
“You don’t have to feel obligated to stay here you know?” She said in a plain voice, already way too deep into her work. “Well, what if I want to? I want to keep you company, I love being around you.” You replied.
This made her look up at you, some shock in her expression and you sat up a little on your stool, taken back from her sudden interest in a conversation.
“You do?” You saw her swallow a lump in her throat and laughed. “Yeah, of course. You’re a genius Holtz, and a damn fantastic engineer. You don’t give yourself enough credit.” She quickly looked down, her hands fiddled with the wire cutters and she laughed, wide smile on her face and a blush on her cheeks as red as the tomato sauce on the pizza from earlier. “You know you’re smart, but you don’t know just how smart you are. Kind too. Sweet. Funny, hilarious actually. And beautiful.” You tilt your head to the side and look at her, hoping to regain eye contact.
You notice the smile fade from her face, a more serious look taking its’ place and her eyes widening. You straighten your head and look back at her, cleaning the smile away from your face as well. “D-Did I say something wrong? If I made you uncomfortable, please let me know. I’m sorry.” “You think I’m beautiful?” Was all she replied, smirking slightly and giggling. You felt the weight lift off of your shoulders, knowing you didn’t somehow offed her or put her in a bad situation.
“Duh, you’re gorgeous!” You two laughed and at this point Jillian’s smile stretched from ear to ear, the blush returning to her cheeks, which you found amusing. She didn’t know what to say, so she just turned her head back to her work, trying to focus on the situation at hand.
You watched as she attempted to work after what you just told her and smiled, biting your lip. She seemed to be fine now, and maybe she was just hungry earlier and that’s what had her in such an odd mood, but you couldn’t help but say something. “Hey Jill,” “Hmm?” She questioned in response, looking up at you again. “What was going on earlier? You were acting pretty strange when I came in; you wouldn’t even look at me.” You said worriedly, looking in her eyes as if they’d tell you anything. “Actually, now that I think about it, you’ve been so distant from me for the past week or so.”
She grunted in frustration and furrowed her eyebrows, sealing her eyes shut before very quickly replying. “I really wanna hug you and kiss you and touch you and I have for a long time and I don’t know how to tell you that without sounding weird and scaring you away.” It was almost inaudible with the speed she was talking with, but you somehow understood it and your eyes widened. Jillian was cringing, eyes still shut tight, but she opened one and glanced at you in time to see you smile. She relaxed her face and looked down as your hand reached across the table for hers, pulling the wire cutters out of it and holding it tightly.
“You could have said something, anything.” You tell her softly, seeing her eyes linger up to yours again.”I told you, I don’t know how to. I just started to try and push you away because I don’t know what to do about my feelings towards you. You drive me nuts.” “All of that flirting and winking, and you couldn’t ask me out?” You laugh at her sudden awkwardness. “Honestly Holtzmann, you’ve had me hooked since the day I met you. I’d say yes if you were to ask me.” You dropped an obvious hint, yet Jillian missed it anyway. “Okay, cool.” She smiled at you and looked back down at your hands, rubbing her thumb over your soft skin.
“Uh, Jill?” You waited, but she still didn’t ask. “Yeah?” She looked back up at you, smiling casually. “Are ya gonna ask me on a date?” “Oh! Yes! Sorry, my bad! Do you wanna go out with me on a date sometime, (Y/N)?”
“Hmm, tough decision.” You paused, staring at the wall behind her, your free hand tapping on your chin and you pretend to think about your answer. You looked back at her before replying. “Only if you kiss me right now.” Jillian quickly dropped your hand and rushed over to the other side of the table. You didn’t have time to prepare yourself before her lips were on yours. It was needy, but felt so natural as if the two of you had kissed hundreds of times before.
You felt the material of her finger-less gloves as she cradled your face with her hands to make sure you didn’t go anywhere. Your hands reached for her shoulders to pull her closer to you, but sitting down made it a bit difficult, so you stood up, lips still attached together. Holtzmann broke the kiss, the two of you finding it hard to breath. She pulled her head back, a smile unlike any you’ve seen appeared on her face, both overjoyed and overwhelmed, eyes wide, yet somehow soft with a look of love in them. Neither of you said a word.
Your hands moved from her shoulders, down her arms, and over her hands that still held you as you leaned into one of them. You closed your eyes and hummed lightly, savoring in the contact. You leaned back in and your lips were met halfway with the woman in front of you. Her hands moved to your hips and you wrapped yours around the back of her neck. This kiss was a lot slower, but still just as passionate. This time you were the one to pull away, nudging your nose with hers before pecking her lips, dropping your grip around her and walking towards the door.
“You can pick me up tomorrow at 8.” You wink at her and continue walking backwards until you’re almost out of the room. “Wait! (Y/N)?” A very confused and frustrated Jillian stands alone in the middle of the room, cheeks flushed a bright red color. “Yes, my darling?” You smirk and shift your body weight to the door of the lab and cross your arms. “What do you wanna do on our date?”
“I don’t know, surprise me.” You started to head down the stairs, but quickly turned back around and when you walked in, you saw Holtzmann dancing to herself in the middle of the room with her back turned towards you and laughed. “Holtz!” You called, making her turn around, but she just kept on dancing. “Yeah?” She asked with a smile on her face. “Don’t stay here too late, you workaholic. Go home!” You chuckled and walked down the stairs again, hearing Jillian shout after you, “I won’t!”