Do you think some people are not meant to have friends? I was always pretty much alone. I never had any close friends but I try really hard to be nice to people and I am in different groups of people hoping that someday it would click with someone but maybe I am the problem. Maybe I am not meant to have any friends. Did you ever felt this way or had you always been loved by many? How do you make so many good friends (on here)? Can you please let me in on your secret? I wish you a happy day
(( OOC: Alright, I’m going to share my opinion on this. Keep in mind that this is based off of my personal experiences, and is strictly an opinion.
I receive a lot of messages from people saying things like “I really want to be friends with you, but I don’t think you’ll like me” or “I want to make friends but I’m too annoying” or some other variation of the same sentiment.
No one is going to like me because I’m not good enough.
The people you approach with that mentality are not going to like you… and do you know why?
Because you’ve already made it clear, within yourself, that they aren’t going to like you. If you approach a friendship with the idea that you’re not good enough, that you’re not worth someone’s time and love and energy, then you have already written the outcome of your story.
This is called self sabotage.
I’ll give you a personal example. My best friend of two years, someone that I lived with and spent most of my time with, also happened to be the most self-destructive person I’d ever met.
She put up a good front for most people. She was happy and bubbly and fun, but in private she would constantly say things like “No one loves me” “I’m a good person… why do I always end up with people that treat me like dirt?” etc.
It was painful to listen to her. I was right there… and I like to think that I was a good friend.
I had to sit there and watch her carry out self-destructive actions, knowing full well that she was acting based on her underlying insecurities and lack of self love.
She would end up investing her time into people that would take without giving back, because she wanted to “fix” them, but this was just a way to distract her from having to heal herself.
She didn’t trust good relationships to last. She didn’t have faith in herself or other people.
Unfortunately, after dealing with this for two years I realized the relationship was one-sided. It was too toxic for me to remain apart of. I started having anxiety attacks when I thought of her (I’m not an anxiety prone person), and I began to lose confidence in myself… because I was trying to help someone that didn’t want to help herself. I ended the relationship.
If someone is putting their time and energy out and not receiving that affection in return… if the other person takes and takes because they don’t know how to love themselves and satisfy those needs on their own… then the relationship will either destroy both of them, or it will end.
Friends are not going to fix you or make you feel whole. Friendship is not one-sided.
The only person who can love you the way you want and need to be loved is yourself.
You are the only one in your head, you are the only one who knows exactly how you need to be loved. No one else can do that, because no one else is you. Your friends are coming from different backgrounds, different needs, different love languages. They can compliment you, they can add to your happiness, but they cannot complete you.
It’s easy to love other people, it’s hard to love yourself. But in order to create lasting, healthy relationships, you need to.
If you believe you aren’t worthy of love… then you’re right… not because anyone else feels that way… but because the only person who can decide if you’re worthy of love is yourself.
Others can try and show you, others can try and tell you, but the only one who needs to be convinced is you. ))