and i hate living at home

Venting and ranting or else I’ll lose my mind

every time my step dad is at the house I want to rip my fucking eye balls out of my head


the worst part is I hate being in my room I absolutely hate being stuck in there or feeling like I’m stuck in there so I sit in the living room the majority of the time I just hate when everyone’s home I’d rather be alone right now and not be so stressed out and have to deal with his nonsense on top of it all. I’m exhausted not even from sleep just from these past two weeks have been so fucking hard. I have never hated anyone so much in my entire life I swear. He takes everything from my mother and treats us like garbage. She’s just too sick to realize how much she’s hurting us and I just can’t take it any longer. Every time I have moved back into my mothers house I start deteriating and stop being myself. Lose all motivation for anything because everything falls onto me it feels like - having to take care of my sister, my mother at times - no ones ever physically here for me when I need them to be at the moment and it sucks bc I feel so god damn alone. Worst part though, i would probably still feel the same way even if i was with someone.

snowballs: j.m.

word count: 1.3k

summary: based off of the au ‘i was having a snowball fight outside and you were casually walking by and oh my god im so sorry i accidentally nailed you in the face’ from @pynchs


The holiday season had rolled around once again, which meant it was time for your annual trip back home to Stillwater, Minnesota. If there was one thing you hated about living in Los Angeles, it was the lack of snow- or the fact that the temperature never went below 70°. When you were small you were out in the snow every chance you got, so Los Angeles was a bit of a culture shock since it was basically a desert compared to home.

Despite the weather being a record breaking low, it was decided that a snowball fight against your siblings was to be put in order. Your 3 siblings were all over the age of 15, so that meant that there was no going easy. If there was anything you loved more than snow, it was winning.

The festive street your parents lived on in Stillwater, Minnesota looked as though it was an unfinished painting, Mother Nature the artist. So much of the canvas was perfectly white, as if waiting for the artists’ hand to return. Breath pale against the numbing air, you blinked thoughtfully as the cold air kissed your face and a gentle sprinkling of snowflakes floated through the dry air.

You held a frozen handful of the velvety ice in your glove-adorned hand and waited behind a large oak tree for the perfect opportunity. The rustling of the late vibrant leaves falling onto the ground distracted you as a snowball nailed you in the arm, both startling you and causing you to drop your ammunition in the process.

You yelped in surprise and inspected all around you and didn’t spot a single soul in sight, yet could hear faint snickering coming from no direction in particular. You gathered another pile of snow into your small hands and just as you had gotten back up, you spotted your brother- or who you thought was your brother, walking casually along the sidewalk a few houses down. Your chapped lips curved into a smirk as you geared your arm back and launched it towards the figure- who had turned around enough for you to realize that it was most definitely not your brother, and you gasped in shock as the ball of ice smacked him straight in the nose.

“Oh my god, o-oh my god!” you stuttered anxiously as you left your spot and ran over to the tall boy who was holding his nose. “I’m so sorry! Oh my gosh- oh god-” The boy tried to wave you off as if to tell you not to worry about it but continued to hold his nose and instead sort of jerked his head back and forth that looked very awkward and a little painful from the way his head was tilted down.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry, oh my god-” You stammered, your eyes widening as you noticed his nose was gushing smooth crimson liquid, a contrast to his pale skin. “You’re bleeding!” You screeched as you grabbed the handkerchief you kept in the pocket of your jacket and shoved it into his hands that were covered in the warm liquid. He pressed the cloth to his nose and tilted his head back in hopes of stopping the blood.

You took this time to observe the injured boy in front of you. He was the most beautiful person you’d ever seen, and you weren’t sure how he could be so adorable yet completely captivating. He was at least a head taller than you, and you had to crane your neck up to study his chiseled features. It was just your luck, you had managed to simultaneously find the most beautiful guy you’d ever seen and nail him in the face with a snowball and probably even broke his nose or something. He was definitely going to sue you- could he sue you? Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god…

As you stood there, tapping your foot and pacing around anxiously in fear that the cute boy would be mad, you looked up to see him wiping the remainder of the blood of of his nose, the only remainder of the incident being a pink tint around his nose and mouth.

“There, all better.” He assured in an attempt to make you feel better as you sighed nervously.

“Listen…” you trailed off, realizing you didnt know this beautiful boy’s name.

“Listen, Jonah. I am so, so, so sorry and I’ll do anything to make it up to you- whatever you want, I can’t believe I did that- it’s just- I thought you were my brother and we were having a snowball fight and then I saw you walking by and you kinda look like him and so I threw the snowball then you turned around and you weren’t my brother and it hit you in your face, which is really cute, just by the way, and then you started bleeding and I probably broke your nose and you’re probably gonna sue me or something- oh my gosh, please don’t sue me I’m so sorry-“ Jonah cut off your nervous rambling by placing his large hands on your shoulders, his eyes widened in amusement as a small chuckle left his plump lips.

“Calm down-“ he halted, asking for your name, which you mumbled to him as you kept your remorseful eyes trained on the snow covered sidewalk beneath you. “-Y/N. It’s fine, I’m not gonna sue you, I promise.” He reassured you with a giggle, a small smile trained on his lips as he glanced down at you, whose eyebrows were still furrowed with worry.

“Hey,” He murmured, picking your chin up with his pointer finger as your eyes met his grey ones. “It’s okay, really. I’m totally fine, you didn’t break my nose, and I think it’s kinda bad-ass that you have such good aim.” He murmured, his lips turning up into a smile at the sound of your giggle.

“I’m pretty sure that was just luck.” You replied with a laugh as you noticed a small spot of blood left on his face. You grabbed the drenched handkerchief from his huge hand and got on the tips of your toes to wipe the blood off. Your eyes met his and you felt his minty breath on yours as you whispered, “Missed a spot.” And pulled the soiled cloth away from his soft skin, leaving the two of you centimeters apart, staring into each other’s eyes.

Jonah‘s mysterious eyes flickered down at your lips before looking back up at you, as if asking for permission. You nodded softly before getting back onto the tips of your boots as he held your frigid cheeks gently in his hands before pressing his cool lips to yours. The weather outside had no chance of winning as the warmth of Jonah transferred into your body, leaving your heart blushing and your skin set on fire, shivers sent through all of your nerves. The sheer intensity of the kiss made your toes curl and your small hands curve around his wrists as he pulled away, craning his neck down to rest his head on your forehead.

“I think I know what you can do to make it up to me.” He murmured, moving his hands away from your heated face and tucking a piece of hair behind your ear as the retired into the pockets of his jean jacket. Your hands went around his neck and tugged softly at the hair on the back of his neck. You raised your eyebrows and urged him to notify you.

He leaned into your side with a smirk, his breath hitting the shell of your ear seductively, making a chill run down your spine and the hairs on the back of your neck stand before whispering, “Come to my house so we can drink hot chocolate and play with my dog.” Laughter bubbled from your lips, making a lopsided smile tug on his lips as you squeezed your eyes shut before nodding your head.

“Okay, Jonah.”


Thoughts from today.
  • My heart feels like it’s about to burst with wonder and happiness when I think about how beautiful my future could be. I’d love to be back in the States for my master’s degree, in Boston/Cambridge, and how nice it would be to be able to visit my sister and to live in such a beautiful place, and be closer to home than I am now (over 3,000 miles closer).
  • It’s no use wallowing in bitter envy of other people. Why hate others’ success when it has nothing to do with my lack of it? What is it that I admire about them, I must ask myself, and then I must come up with a strategy for attaining those qualities.
  • Consistently, when I have had a bad day without anything really externally catastrophic or disappointing happening to me, I have felt bad because I haven’t been productive. And it’s not because of anyone else reprimanding me or anything; productivity is just key to my sense of calmness and happiness and self-worth on a daily basis. So the solution, if I’m feeling down, is really very simple: I must do something, no matter how small, to make myself feel productive.

anyone else have the burning desire to deactivate all their social media accounts and book a flight somewhere and just disappear and live a totally anonymous existence where no one bothers you and you don’t bother anyone

voltron workplace au

it’s like the office but bad 

  • lance: “hey can i have some water?” shiro: “it’s not water”
    • lance: “ooh, vodka ;) i like your style” shiro: “it’s vinegar” 
    • lance: “what-” shiro: “it’s vinegar
  • lance is the public relations manager 
  • he shows all potential business partners his tattoo that he got at 16 on a dare. it’s a badly drawn melted pizza slice that says ‘sizling!’ underneath. the typo is deliberate 
  • pidge works in IT nobody knows how old she is or how she got this job
  • pidge: “shiro do you dare me to eat these pencil shavings?” shiro: “no”
    • pidge in tears, crunching on pencil shavings: “are you happy now?!!?!” shiro looking into the camera: “….”
  • keith is the receptionist and when people try to talk to him he slowly slides under the desk until he’s out of sight
    • but they can still see the fluffy tuft of hair at the top of his head bouncing as he silent-laughs 
  • shiro: “ok allura from HR is coming today to inspect things. keith get your arm out of the fish tank”
    • keith: “but it feels nice” shiro: “for god’s sake”
  • building security: “mr garrett i’m here to tell you that you parked your car in two parking spots and that’s against the rules” hunk: “shh can you hear that?”
    • security: “…hear what?” hunk: “can you hear how little i care?” 
  • nobody knows pidge works there cos it’s technically illegal but they sometimes see a small green child out of the corner of their eye like an office ghost
  • shiro: “ok team how will we hide pidge when HR visits?” lance looking up at the vents: “i have an idea”
  • lance: “oh hey keith. fancy finding you here” keith: “this is my desk?”
    • lance: “so i was thinking…i mean….are you free on friday? you wanna grab a drink with me?” keith: “but i have drinks at home in my fridge i don’t need any more”
    • lance: -__- 
  • pidge throwing a stapler at the wall: “SOMEBODY BROKE THAT”
  • hunk: “everyone in this office suffers and takes the stairs but i found a secret tunnel on my second day and it takes me only 5 minutes”
    • pidge: “it’s a broken elevator shaft you could die”
    • hunk: “live fast die young bad girls do it well”
  • lance: “i have a date this weekend”
    • lance: “they cancelled” keith lowering the fire extinguisher: “oh that’s ok then”
  • allura: “wow your office is impeccable!” allura opening the fridge door and it breaks and hangs off its hinges: “wow never mind!” 

me: i want to live in a metropolitan area. i hate living out in the middle of nowhere. i can hardly take care of myself, how am i somehow in charge of dozens of livestock. this sucks.

me after being outside for 5 minutes watering chickens: COUNTRY BOY 😅 FARM RAISED 🚜 HOME GROWN 🐖🐄🐓 HARD WORKING 💦😓💦 GOD FEARING 👏😔👏 RED BLOODED AMERICAN 🦅🦅🦅 

I have a message to the neo-Nazis, to the white nationalists, and to the neo-Confederates: Your heroes are losers. You are supporting a lost cause. And believe me, I knew the original Nazis, because you see, I was born in Austria in 1947, shortly after the Second World War. And growing up, I was surrounded by broken men, men who came home from a war filled with shrapnel and guilt, men who were misled into a losing ideology. And I can tell you: that these ghosts you idolize spent the rest of their lives living in shame and right now, they’re resting in hell.

Arnold Schwarzenegger, former Republican governor of California

This is how a Republican president should respond to Charlottesville.

musical theatre concept:

the stigma and hatred towards bootlegs is riD OF

- Cas has said that Dean and him have a more “profound bond” than Sam and Cas do

- Dean is always significantly impacted by Cas dying/leaving/etc, and Sam, although also hurt by it, not NEARLY as much as Dean always is

- Dean and Cas have movie nights, (presumably) without Sam

- Dean wanted to actually die after Cas died, not wanting to live without him

- Cas has an issue with personal space but only with Dean ??

- Eye sex

- Cas never watches Sam while he sleeps, but you bet your ass he watches Dean

- Cas (presumably) usually always makes Dean coffee in the morning

- Dean made Cas a mixtape

- How Dean hates Jack, but suddenly Cas comes back and Dean wants Jack to stay

- “I need you”

- 13x05 NEVER shows Sam’s reaction to seeing Cas again, as if only Dean and Cas are reuniting

- How Dean always welcomes Cas home, because home is where the Dean is

- Dean not believing in anything after Cas’ death

- “I just need a win” *Cas comes back*

- Cas says “I love you.” *Camera cuts to Dean*

But yeah no —‘brotherly love’

Every Song on Taylor Swift’s reputation

As analyzed by Time Magazine

1. “…Ready For It?”: Starting things off with a thumping bass line and rallying cry, “…Ready For It?” also offers one of Swift’s prettiest melodies. “In the middle of the night, in my dreams, you should see the things we do,” she sings sweetly before switching into her new-era rap-singing. “He can be my jailer, Burton to this Taylor,” she insists, name-checking a famous — and drama-filled — pairing, and setting the scene for the rest of the album’s investigation of the perils of stardom.

2. “End Game” (featuring Ed Sheeran and Future): Swift tapped her good friend Sheeran for this slow-jam-style track, a self-reflective — and self-aware — plea to both the listener and a lover. “I wanna be your end game,” Swift sings off the top, allowing in a little vulnerability — before jumping into a rap-sung chorus. “Big reputation, you and me we got big reputations,” she chants, recognizing the baggage that her stardom brings (and name-checking the album’s title, of course). Of-the-moment rapper Future of “Mask Off” success adds in a slick verse, sticking to the love-against-the-odds theme. Swift goes on to sing she doesn’t want to be an “ex-love” and that she isn’t into the drama; it’s just her burden to bear. This is peak Swift: emotionally open, but ready and willing to have some fun with the hype around her own persona. Sheeran’s contribution comes in the form of another rap-sung verse in the same vein, seeming to reference his own relationship and the pitfalls that fame has placed in his path to love. His advice? Ignore the rumors.

3. “I Did Something Bad”: Swift knows that her critics have strong opinions about her; after all, the album is called Reputation. And in the bombastic “I Did Something Bad,” she appears to address some of the narratives that have surrounded her. “I never trust a narcissist, but they love me / So I play them like a violin, and I make it look oh so easy,” she opens this one over a sharp string pluck. “If a man talks s–t then I owe him nothing.” Here is new-era Swift: holding her head high, unapologetic and fiercely protective of her own success. Then, a funky dubstep drop brings shades of her mega-hit “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” into the mix. Heavily electronically manipulated, and punctuated with a strong beat, it’s a banger of a track — and her defiant response to her detractors. “I never trust a playboy, but they love me,” she insists, stating matter of-factly that it’s best to “leave before you get left,” and hinting that maybe her splashy former relationships weren’t all they might have seemed. And then there’s the kicker: “They’re burning all the witches, even if you aren’t one,” she croons on an auto-tuned bridge. “Go ahead and light me up.” Of all the quotable lines in Swift’s oeuvre, this one is right up there at the top for its blazing imagery.

4. “Don’t Blame Me”: If you’re a fan of Avicii or Kygo’s brand of un-rushed atmospheric electro-pop, you might like the rich, vibey notes Swift brings together in “Don’t Blame Me,” a moody, dark song that starts out swinging and pretty, and builds into a gospel-backed EDM anthem. “Don’t blame me, love made me crazy / if it doesn’t you ain’t doin’ it right,” she sings emphatically. “Lord save me, my drug is my baby, I be using for the rest of my life.” Swift has endured criticism for her relationships: the fact that she’s in them, the fact that she sings about them. “Don’t Blame Me” could be a clapback to that criticism, reminding listeners that the heart simply wants what it wants, as her friend Selena Gomez once said.

5. “Delicate”: Swift is, appropriately enough, at her most fragile on “Delicate.” Refreshingly honest, it’s a melodic electro-ballad with a resonant refrain. “My reputation’s never been worse so, you must like me for me,” she muses, her voice a light wisp, in a wry nod to her year in the spotlight before breaking down her insecurities: “Is it cool that I said all that? Is it too soon to do this yet?” Like pretty much anyone dealing with a new crush, Swift sings of moments of doubt. Perhaps even superstars have their sore spots. She couches this sweetly uncertain song in snippets of dates — at a dive bar, in her apartment — but keeps it about her circular internal monologue, always questioning just how much her feelings are being reciprocated.

6. “Look What You Made Me Do”: Swift’s lead single — and immediate chart-topper following its release — “LWYMMD” was a shocking reintroduction to the Swift of Reputation: hard, unapologetic, focused on retribution. Step aside, “Bad Blood,” this song is much more cutting. “I’ve got a list of names, and yours is in red, underlined,” she reminded her haters over a Right Said Fred sample. The propulsive beat and insistence that the old Taylor was “dead” only sharpened her point.

7. “So It Goes…”: Here, she switches things back to romance, reflecting on just how a new love interest might help her out of her fixations: “you make everyone disappear,” she explains in the moody, murky opening segment, which opens into a trap-lite chorus about getting caught up in the moment (and, of course, leaving some signature lipstick “on your face”). But for life with Swift, that’s just how it goes. “I’m yours to keep, and yours to lose. You know I’m not a bad girl, but I’ll do bad things with you,” she adds with a wink; this version of Swift has made a marked departure from her squeaky-clean roots as America’s Nashville sweetheart.

8. “Gorgeous”: Yes, that’s Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds’s baby daughter James opening up “Gorgeous” with a gurgle. But the rest of the song deals with adult topics. Over a bubbling, chime-like beat, Swift sings about the irresistible power of attraction — even when it’s not the best idea. “You’re so gorgeous, it actually hurts,” she sings with frustration. “There’s nothing I hate more than what I can’t have.” Despondent, she talks of heading home to hang out with her cats — and then, with a wink, invites her object of attention to join her.

9. “Getaway Car”: Told as a dramatic story of a heist and an ill-fated love adventure over shimmering 80s-style production, “Getaway Car” is one of Swift’s most metaphor-driven tracks on the album. “We never had a shotgun shot in the dark,” she sings with a rebellious twang. “Nothing good starts in a getaway car.” Swift’s has often had its fair share of melodrama; remember “Into the Woods”? In “Getaway Car,” though, she calls herself a “traitor” who turns in her erstwhile partner in crime. Looks like Swift might be willing to flirt with the dark side, but she’s no good at following through with crimes — of the legal kind, or of the heart. Instead, she says, she takes the keys and leaves the guy stranded at a motel. It’s no happy ending, but it’s a reminder that Swift isn’t afraid to assert her independence.

10. “King of My Heart”: Taylor Swift has always been good at love songs. In “King of My Heart” she hits her sweet spot, over a synth-heavy track and strategic auto-tune assist. “I’m perfectly fine, I live on my own, I made up my mind I’m better off bein’ alone,” she starts off. But it doesn’t stay that way for long; after meeting a (evidently non-American) paramour who pursues her, the story (and the song) go straight into the romance. “You’re the one I have been waiting for,” she gushes, dissing some other guys with “their fancy cars” who didn’t quite measure up to this new interest. And yes, the character in the title is indeed the king of her heart — and body, and soul.

11. “Dancing With Our Hands Tied”: Although it starts off as a down-tempo, melancholy kind of tune, “Dancing With Our Hands Tied” adds in Swift’s now-rote trap-lite drop to amp up the drama on this will-we-won’t-we tale of star-crossed lovers separated by an unkind fate. “I had a bad feeling,” she suggests about the romantic interest, but she goes on to dance with him anyway; some chemistry just can’t be denied.

12. “Dress”: “I only bought this dress so you could take it off,” Swift sings slyly on “Dress,” her most overtly sexual work yet. She wants her lover to carve his name into her bedpost; her hands shake in anticipation. A breathy, synth-y track with lots of whispery vocals, Swift is unequivocal about her interest in this person as much more than a friend. “Made your mark on me; a golden tattoo,” she sings cryptically. It’s a departure from her usually PG approach to love songs, emblematic of a Swift who’s claiming her maturity more than ever.

13. “This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things”: Kicking things off with a siren sound, Swift strips it back to a stomping call-out of the haters, a giddy sister of sorts to dark lead single “Look What You Made Me Do.” “Why’d you have to rain on my parade?” she asks, her voice petulant, sneering with humor and attitude. “This is why we can’t have nice things, darling: because you break them, I have to take them away.” When she tries to go diplomatic — “forgiveness is a nice thing to do” goes one line, sung in an angelic lilt — she breaks the fourth wall with a burst of sharp laughter. Swift is no longer willing to “Shake It Off,” as she once tried to do.

14. “Call It What You Want”: Maybe the most by-the-book Swift song on Reputation, “Call It What You Want” is a slow-burning meditation on the transformative power of relationships, filled with lyrical puns: “All the liars are calling me one,” she sighs at one point. “All my flowers grew back as thorns.” But this is still a love letter, and a reminder that Swift has moved on from the fray around her so-called “reputation.” “My baby’s fly like a jetstream, high above the whole scene,” she sings proudly, making it clear that the baby in question has taken her along for the ride.

15. “New Year’s Day”: Her one acoustic piano ballad on the album, “New Year’s Day” is a tender and intimate love song. The snapshots are sweet and evocative: glitter on the floor after a party, candle wax and polaroids on the hardwood floor, holding hands in the backseat of a taxi. “Hold on to the memories,” she repeats in the chorus, “and I will hold on to you.” Nostalgic for the moment even as it’s happening, it’s a lovely, effecting closer, letting Swift’s voice and earnest message shine without the complications of over-production. She may get her kicks with big pop anthems, but vulnerable ballads like this one are just as much a part of her musical DNA.

Lifted from Time Magazine

So many things learned and confirmed in this episode and my heart is full. Here’s my jumbled thoughts:

  • Kara and Alex not only shared a bathroom, like Alex said in the pilot, but a bedroom too. Something I vaguely remember learning early season 1
  • They did not get along with each other for a long time
  • They were little competitive shits
  • They were in the same grade, which I did not see coming. If Kara were just in advanced classes, they wouldn’t be in the same gym class
  • Kara’s wearing the necklace
  • Kara learned calculus when she was 4 years old
  • Kara hates learning about history
  • Forget that, Kara hates school itself. And why wouldn’t she?
  • Kara was an outcast and got made fun of
  • Kara would break things in anger
  • Alex being in danger is what makes Kara use her powers after being told not to. It’s also what makes her stop
  • Kara looked up to Clark so much and just wanted to live with him my poor baby
  • Kara still does not feel at home on Earth. It’s the people, it’s Alex, that she finds a home in
  • I love Eliza. Just putting that out there

I know there’s a bunch more but I’m still trying to process such a great episode! and also ignoring the promo


I mean like, folks who have lost stuff. And we have, man, we have, all of us. Homes, and our families, normal lives. And you think life takes more than it gives, but not today. Today it’s giving us something. It is giving us a chance.

marichat concept: adrien is home sick from school and he’s watching tv and someone is interviewing random people for their opinion of ladybug and chat noir. and they ambush marinette on live tv, and she says something generic about ladybug (because she doesn’t want to give up her secret identity by accident) but figures that there’s no way anyone could connect her to chat noir. so she says something really fluffy like “i genuinely believe that chat noir was put on this earth to make people smile” or something and adrien??? just can’t handle it

he doesn’t smile like you. his hair is straight and yours was curly. he loves my siblings like they’re his own and he calls my dad “sir,” even after he has told him countless times it’s okay to go by first names now. i’ve tried to find meaning in this. he isn’t you, i know that. it’s evident in the way he dresses and the sound of his laugh and the music he listens to. he doesn’t like pepsi, he actually hates it. i think my heart is closing to you now, or maybe it’ll always be open, just enough for you to claw your way back in and make yourself at home again. the important part is that he doesn’t sound like you, or feel like you. i don’t remember what it was like to be in your arms but i’ve made new memories now and they don’t have your name on them anymore. i still go outside and look at the moon and cry. we’ve always lived in different worlds but it’s been harder to cope now that our gravitational pulls have collapsed and you’ve floated away. i think that part of me will always wish that you had stayed, but i know part of me will always be glad you decided to break my heart. it still hurts. time doesn’t heal wounds or erase pain, it just gives you the space you need to get better at ignoring it.

We chose a diplomatic approach to ridding a town of a banshee, we discovered where she lived, that she was someone’s daughter, and a mother…

DM: a small boy opens the door amd nervously says hi.
Cleric: hello son.
Rogue: is your mother home?
DM: the kid immediately bursts into tears.
Everyone: DUDE!!!
Rogue: what? The grave said “daughter!”
Everyone: and “mother!!!”
Rogue: oh shit I misread it!!!
Bard: Duuuude….

We were deluded, they said; we were foolish, absurd. Sometimes it was more brittle, more hostile, more derogatory. At meetings I attended, marches I participated in, dances my lover and I showed up to attend, I was asked why we had bothered to come or told we were not welcome: ‘No femmie women with he/she men.’

I was told I should find myself a 'real’ man if that’s what I was into. I often had to escort and then remain with my butch lovers so they could use the women’s bathroom at movement institutions. That was in 1973. In 1995, I and my stone butch lover of the time were refused entrance to a lesbian feminist women’s dance at the New York City Lesbian and Gay Community Center during Gay Pride Week. We were told the same things I’d been told twenty-five years before: It - butch/femme - was a dangerous heterosexist trap.

The hostility and ridicule we faced inside the lesbian movement paralleled and overlapped our lives in the broader straight world - where we were often treated as criminals. My first butch lover and I began to fear coming home after we found our cat murdered in front of our apartment, with a note pinned to the door saying we’d be next. We regularly fought with men who waited outside the bar for the most obvious bull daggers and their 'faggot girlfriends,’ or we turned away and hated ourselves for giving in.

Strolling together as a butch/femme couple, we were an erotic, magnetic, moving target for all the sexual fear, envy, and ignorance of this culture. Our movements and decisions were fraught with potential danger. Unexpected visits to the emergency room, how to rent a motel room, crossing a border, being busted at bars when the cops came for their weekly payoffs, getting an apartment. None of these acts were simple or could ever be taken for granted.

I have always had to laugh whenever I hear that femmes are not as tough, capable, or rugged as our butch lovers. We fought together, we carried ourselves with our heads high, we protected the women we loved when we could - and they tried to protect us - we held each other when we didn’t win, and we held each other when we did.

—  Amber L. Hollibaugh, My Dangerous Desires
Still Get Jealous

Originally posted by riverdalesource

Requested by @foriternity  @southsidepea :Ur next Sweet Pea x reader should b about him being jealous

Here you are, love, I hope I did okay I’m still getting the hang of this. Enjoy and don’t forget to ask me for a request

“You know I hate it when other people see you in that uniform” Sweet Pea told you as he pulls your body into his.

You were from the Northside with a beautiful home, stable and happy family to anyone you’re family was the only perfect family in Riverdale. Now on the other hand you’re long term boyfriend Sweet Pea lived on the Southside his home was the trailer park like Jug, and his family he didn’t like to talk about it. You meet Sweet Pea when Jughead worked at the Drive-In.  When you heard he was losing the Drive-In you knew you had to be there for him. His dad would come to check on him every now and then and that moment you saw Sweet Pea you’re total definition of Tall, Dark, and Handsome.

  “Hey it’s not my fault I’m a River Vixen”

“Yea it kinda is. You know what why don’t you quit and keep the uniform too entertain me huh.”

For some reason he thinks he can get his was if he does that stupid smirk of his.

  “Why don’t you just come to the game and watch me cheer instead.”

You put you’re hands on Sweet Pea face so you’re foreheads touch and make your lips nearly touch his. Teasing him hoping he will come too the game .

“You know how I feel about those Northsiders. I’ll pick you up after the game alright baby girl.”

  “Fine pick me up at 8pm.”

You gave Pea a quick kiss on the lips and pulled back too see his brown eye size you up. To mess with him you gave him a little turn. He shakes his head giving out a little laugh. It made you sad when he started getting on his bike. You hate seeing him go, you wish he could just put up with some Northside kids for a couple hours just so you can spend more time with him.Before he leaves you walk back up to his bike and give him one more kiss.

  “Hey I love you Pea.”

“I love you to Baby girl”

2 Hours later

The Bulldogs won the game all thanks to Archie and Reggie’s team work. After every game someone throws a party but you never went. Picking up your things with the rest of the Vixens in the locker room. One by one the girls left leaving you alone in the locker room. As you closed the door you began to walk to the parking lot too wait for Sweet Pea. You two had a secret place so no one would judge you being picked up by a Serpent. It was all Pea’s idea You honestly didn’t mind be he side it would be safer.

“Hey Y/L/N are you coming too the party or what?”  

You looked over the shoulder to see Reggie walking towards you.

  “No I’m no. I just gonna head home”

You kept walking trying to get away from Reggie. You just wanted to get spend the night with Pea.

“Awe come on. I’ll even take you. You know next year when Cheryl leaves next year you’ll be captain of the Vixens and I’ll still be captain of the football team. We could be the power couple of Riverdale high. Sounds nice right…Perfect even”

During his whole speech he traps you against his car getting extremely close to you.

  “As tempting as that is I’m transferring to South Side High next year. Believe it or not my dad found a better job out there. So why don’t you go too the party, get drunk , go home and enjoy your night with your left hand.”

You look up and to you’re right and see Sweet Pea and if looks could kill teh back of Reggie’s head would be gone.

  “Now if you don’t mind Reginald my boyfriend is waiting for me.”

You pushed his shoulder to walk up to Sweet Pea. You hear Reggie start his car and drives away. You tried to wrap your arms around Sweet Pea’s neck but he just go on his bike. Before he started his bike you grabbed his hand with one hand and placed your other hand on his check.

  “Sweet’s what’s wrong”

“I’m fine how’s you’re Northside football player boyfriend”

  “OMG are you jealous?”

I couldn’t help but laugh at the fact that Pea thinks I would cheat on him with Reggie.

“ I’m not jealous”

  “Oh really. So if walk back to him you would be totally fine.”


  “Sweet’s do you remember what I told you when you dropped me off”


  “Well I said ’I Love You ‘ and I mean it with all my heart. I love you Sweet Pea and that will never change. You’re kinda stuck with me.”

“And I’m totally fine with that. Now let me show you how much I love you”