can we start practicing self love that doesn’t focus so much on looks? like sure feeling beautiful is nice but you know what? you got a kickass personality too! you know that little quirk that you’re sure is annoying? it’s endearing as hell and when you laugh you literally embody sunshine like you don’t have to constantly tell yourself you’re pretty if you can’t believe it because in the end that’s not the most special thing about you. learning to love your insides is just as hard as the outside. vanity isn’t the be all and end all of self love you can be a lil ugly and still love yourself
Happy blackout! My prom was Saturday and I had a lot of fun. I was definitely feeling myself and got a lot of compliments. I applied the flowers and my makeup myself and I’m very proud of it. Excuse the weak smile (I was having a mini breakdown at the time lmao).
This is actually an old post I wrote back when I first started this blog and apparently never posted? So yeah, enjoy :)
Headcanon that Rhodey is the first person to genuinely compliment Tony (there was Jarvis of course, but those words of encouragement were always tainted by Howard’s imminent disapproval and Maria’s distanced acknowledgement).
The first time it happens they’re studying in the library together. Rhodey’s been watching Tony’s back for a few months now - because tbh the kid needs all the help it can get - and they’ve now reached the somewhere-between-being-friendly-and-being-friends territory. And well, Rhodey honestly likes Tony who’s funny and sarcastic and never lets anyone intimidate into keeping his mouth shut, which is why he’s decided to put more effort into this budding friendship (after it becomes clear that Tony won’t reach out but won’t push him away either, and damn does Rhodey want to hit his past self once he realises that it’s because Tony’s shy) and spend more time together. So. Studying.
Turns out they work surprisingly well together. Tony, known for his age, his genius and his complete inability to shut up, is actually very focused once he’s presented with a problem to figure out. Rhodey on the other hand is spurned on by the air of intense concentration surrounding Tony when he gets like that. It draws him in but doesn’t overwhelm him which is actually sort a perfect combination. At the same time Rhodey is stubborn enough to pull Tony out of his zone occasionally to get him to eat or drink or get his ass outta the library because we’ve been here for eight hours straight and you haven’t blinked in ten minutes, now move it! Suffice to say Tony becomes Rhodey’s new study buddy. Permanently.
But on that very first day at what later becomes widely known as ‘their’ table, Rhodey witnesses for the first time just how intelligent Tony really is. Sure, rationally he’s known that Tony’s a genius. You can’t spend five minutes with the guy without realising that he’s smart. But this, watching Tony breeze through calculations Rhodey knows for sure the prof won’t even talk about until February is something else.
“You’re brilliant,” Rhodey says, wonder and amazement and respect all mashed into a confusing ball of emotions.
Tony’s head snaps up at the sudden sound, allowing Rhodey the pleasure of seeing firsthand how Tony’s eyes widen as his mind processes the actual words, confusion flashing across his face before he hastily ducks his head. And that’s, that’s unusual all right because Tony doesn’t averts his eyes, doesn’t back down, not ever, and now Rhodey is definitely almost worried. Except-
Except Tony is blushing.
Rhodey blinks, mind frozen in disbelief because Tony doesn’t blush. Ever. But it’s undeniable, the flushed cheeks clearly visible even with his head bowed so low the tip of his nose is touching book. Rhodey opens his mouth, perhaps to tease, perhaps to change the topic, he honestly has no clue, when Tony peers up from under his lashes, all bright eyes and dark cheeks and a small, pleased smile that Rhodey has never seen before, and Tony’s never been out of place at MIT, always carried himself larger than life, but in this moment he looks so fucking young- and Rhodey doesn’t do any of those things.
“You’re brilliant,” he repeats instead, firmly. Holds Tony’s eyes patiently, until he’s sure his stubborn friend knows how serious he is, knows that he honestly, truly believes that. And then, when Tony’s hands start to twitch nervously and he swallows, clearly uncomfortable, Rhodey doesn’t comment on that either.
It’s “Now help me figure out what’s wrong with this equation because Professor Lanz is gonna kill me for real if I get it wrong again,” instead of “You’re a wonderful, talented person who’s here on their own merit and not just because of who your parents are, never let anyone tell you different,” and “You still aren’t done with that? What have you been doing in the past hour?” instead of “Thank you.”
It’s Rhodey and Tony, and maybe it’s their beginning or maybe it’s the core of what they are together but it doesn’t matter. They’ll figure it all out on their own time, eventually.
And if Rhodey makes it a point to genuinely compliment Tony at least twice a day, just to see that beautiful, pleased smile light up Tony’s eyes again, well that’s nobody’s business but his own.
i was expecting an entire video of phil blushing as dan compliments him while giggling incessantly and i got an entire video of phil blushing as dan compliments him while giggling incessantly but i am still very much shaken
Okay so I get so many messages asking how I lost all the weight in three months and I can’t be bothered replying to everyone so i’m just going to write a post about it. So basically my weight loss took exactly one hundred days and I set myself a lot of rules that I didn’t break in order to lose it all.
1. Sit down as little as possible. There’s so much you could be doing that doesn’t involve sitting on your phone like cleaning your room (wiping all the surfaces, making your bed, vacuuming, doing a load of washing etc.), organising your draws and cupboards, pampering yourself (painting your nails, washing your face, moisturising, doing a face mask, tanning etc.). Just basically anything is better than sitting down, even when i’m on tumblr I walk around my room I never sit still.
2. Only ever eat one meal. I actually never counted calories when I was losing weight. I would have a coffee in the morning and allow myself to eat one meal at any time with any calories during the day. I found as long as I kept up all my other rules and only ever ate once I would lose weight so yes I was still eating McDonalds while I was losing weight and no I would not gain.
3. Set yourself a daily beauty routine. Not only did I want my body to look good but I wanted to look good too so I started a beauty routine for my hair, face and body that I did everyday. Not only was it a good distraction but I always looked good and got a shit tonne of compliments.
4. Exercise for at least an hour a day. This is where heaps of people fuck up. And no i’m not talking about going for a walk for an hour or sticking strictly to cardio I did a lot of ab and glute exercises because if you’re only doing cardio you may be losing weight but you can still be flabby, if you want a body that you see on tumblr you’re going to have to tone yourself up. I always did my muscle building exercises after dinner.
5. Drink 2L water everyday. Every single night before bed I’d fill up my water bottle and put it in the fridge without fail so every morning I would have 2L of cold water for the day.
So yeah, it’s more about being consistent and having a routine that you don’t fuck up then being really obsessive about calories and then accidentally slipping up and binging.
— You reached for Jin’s top button of his shirt, and his breathing hitched. You stopped immediately, feeling as if you did something wrong. You opened your mouth to speak, but soon shut it as Jin’s large hands were placed on top of yours. You locked your eyes with his, and you noticed how zoned out he seemed. You felt your heart ache as you two stood there, wanting to know what was wrong. Jin had never stopped you, and you had never stopped him.
“The managers told me that I need to lose some weight. They want me to cut my diet down, so that’s why I’ve been cooking more healthy foods for us… I still feel as if I am not up to their standards. If they feel that way, you must too. I feel as if you will leave me if I don’t thin up.” Jin spoke quietly, only loud enough for you to hear. You lowered your hands from his chest, feeling tears welling up in your eyes. “Y/N, it’s not that big of a deal; I’ll just keep my shirt on if that’s alright—”
“Jin, you’re so small,” you croaked out, not understanding why he was seen as anything less than perfection. Jin shook his head as he placed his hands on your cheeks. He looked you in the eye, seeing the pain that those words had caused you. You couldn’t imagine being in his spot and being told that. “Please don’t lose weight, Jinnie. I don’t want to see you in an unhealthy place. If you lose weight you'll—”
“I love you,” Jin interrupted. Jin wiped the tears that left your eyes with the pad of his thumb. He nodded at you, not needing to hear the rest of what you had to say. He knew what his baby wanted, and that was the healthy version of him. “I’ll talk to them, okay? I’m sorry I brought it up.” Jin smiled faintly before connecting his lips to yours again. The returned feeling made your heart beat out of joy instead of sorrow. Jin reached his hands down to yours, placing them on his chest again.
YOONGI ( SUGA )
— Yoongi’s hands would be on your thighs as you straddled him, his lips on the crook of your neck. You were already down to just your underwear, yet he was still fully dressed. Lowering your hands down to the hem of his shirt, Yoongi’s eyelids fluttered open. His eyelashes tickled your neck, and you stopped yourself there. Usually he would just help you remove his shirt, not wanting to wait much longer. This time, he removed his lips from you.
“Yoongi, did I do something?” You asked, looking him in the eye.
“N– no, you’re… you’re great,” Yoongi breathed. You could hear the pain in his voice as he took your hands in his. You would have gotten off his lap, but he held you close so you wouldn’t. He didn’t want you to leave him. “I just haven’t been with you enough. I’m always away working, and we rarely have nights like this where it’s just us.” Yoongi was never good at expressing himself, but neither were you. “I… I don’t know if I’ll be able to give you what you want.”
“Yoongi,” you squinted your eyes at him. He let out a small sigh, leaning back in the office chair you both resided on. You saw the pain in his eyes as he held onto your hands, rubbing his thumb over your skin. “Time doesn’t change how I feel about you. I don’t care if we both don’t feel satisfied; I just want to be with you. I would be just as happy sleeping with your arms locked around me.” Yoongi nodded. “Plus, name one time we did not receive a noise complaint from my neighbors or the boys.”
Yoongi chuckled, “never.”
HOSEOK ( JHOPE )
— Hoseok smiled as the two of you sat on your shared bed. He had just thrown your shirt to the floor, and so far everything seemed picture perfect. Hoseok picked you up and placed you on his lap, your cheeks reddening as he did so. He loved seeing the impact he had on you, and you could help but let out a soft giggle as he tapped his fingertips against the small of your back. He grinned against your collarbones at the sound, closing his eyes. You reached down for the hem of his shirt, slowly pulling it up to tease Hobi. He kissed your collarbones.
“My stomach is kind of fat right now jagi,” Hobi stated, making you stop. You could tell with the tone in his voice that he was unhappy with his body. You could see no imperfections, and his words had surprised you. You had seen him shirtless this morning when he got out of the shower, and his abs were definitely there. Even if they weren’t, you didn’t care. Hoseok was Hoseok no matter his body, and you would love him anyway. “Baby?”
“You’re not fat,” you mumbled. Hoseok sighed softly as he lifted his head, his eyes meeting yours. He smiled at you, glancing down at your lips. “If you think you are, then you shouldn’t. Hoseok, I don’t see where you got that idea at all! I saw your abs this morning when you were getting ready. I can feel the muscles in your back!”
“You always used to praise me for my figure, and you no longer do,” Hoseok explained. You rolled your eyes.
“I thought you got bored of the same compliments I gave out,” you pressed your nose against Hobi’s. He smiled, knowing you didn’t mean to hurt him. He was beautiful no matter his size, and you didn’t have to vocalize that. “If you need me to, I’ll tell you every second of the day how much I love you. I’ll say all of the words that will change your mind. I will kiss you and assure you that your abs now are far better than what they were. Want to know why they’re better?”
“Because they’re mine, and I love them too,” Hoseok finished with what you had planned to say. You giggled, nodding. He grinned widely before throwing his shirt off, placing his lips on yours.
NAMJOON ( RAP MONSTER )
— Namjoon had not been in the best mood lately, due to the constant spotlight on the two of you. Because both of you are idols, you both get hate from either sides. His seemed to be more intense than yours, and he understood why. You were gorgeous, with hair that always seemed to flow effortlessly, and a body that could stun anyone. He was lucky to call you his, and he knew you felt the same about him. You constantly told Namjoon how much you adored him, but times like this he forgot.
The words repeated in his mind as he had you pinned against the wall of your room. Your hands were tangled in his hair, which had always been his weakness. With your back arched, his only desire was to have your body covered with his kisses. He reached around to your back and began unzipping your dress, noticing how the fabric loosened on you. He placed his lips on your shoulders as he slid the straps of your dress off, allowing the fabric to fall to the floor.
You placed your hands at the waistband of his jeans, holding Namjoon close to you by his belt loops. You unbuckled his jeans, and he slid off the hoodie that he wore. You wrapped your arms around his neck with a smile, your lips connecting again. With your body pressed against his, Namjoon couldn’t help but smile. You were his everything, and he could feel your love whenever you were around. The words began to replay again, and he slowed his kiss down. You knew something was up, being able to tell easily with Namjoon.
“I love you,” you breathed as you looked Namjoon in the eye. You smiled, feeling his fingertips tap on your lower back. The words seemed to disappear with you standing in front of him. You didn’t know why he was upset, but you knew he was. Namjoon wasn’t an open book, but he had a few ripped pages on the floor. If you had to guess, it was the attention constantly on the two of you. “I wouldn’t want anyone else, Joon. I’m the lucky one, and you shouldn’t feel insecure about yourself.”
“I love you too, baby,” Namjoon smiled, and he meant every syllable.
— You woke up early one morning, not feeling the warmth that Jimin produced beside you. Squinting your eyes open, you could vaguely see Jimin standing in the bathroom you shared. He had practice, and you knew that he got up early to get ready. He didn’t notice that you had woken up, and you watched as he pinched the skin on his stomach. He carried a frown, clearly unhappy with the skin on his stomach. He only wore a towel covering his lower half, and you knew he had just showered. He let out a sigh, running his hand through his wet hair.
“Chim, you’re not—”
“Ah,” Jimin turned around swiftly to face you. He must have saw the displeased expression on your face, because he looked down at his feet. You wanted to burst into tears then, begging for Jimin to never do that again. He self-consciously wrapped his arms around his stomach. “I was supposed to leave a few minutes ago.”
“Why haven’t you then?” You asked, sitting up. He frowned, turning towards the bathroom mirror, his back to you. You could see his muscles on his back, and you didn’t understand. “Jimin, you are tiny. What you were pinching is skin, and last time I checked, everyone has it. You don’t need to stress, oppa. I have that too.” Jimin nodded, sniffling. He turned around to face you, clearly feeling terrible now. “I love you, Jiminie.”
“I’m sorry,” a tear slipped down his cheek as he rushed towards you. Jimin sat down beside you, wrapping his arms around your waist. You hugged him tightly, kissing his bare shoulder. “You’re perfect, and I am doing what I hate you doing. You’re so beautiful, Y/N, and I’m sorry that we both are being stupid and ignoring each other’s words. I love you more than the stars in the sky, and I promise to never make you feel sad like that again.”
You then realized that you had been crying.
TAEHYUNG ( V )
— Tae loved you more than anything else in his life, and he’d give up everything for you. Because of that, he often felt as if he was not good enough to be with you. He felt as if you were the most unique and fascinating person in the entire universe, and he felt lesser of himself. Whenever it came to taking any clothes off around you, he did not feel comfortable. It only got worse as your relationship hit the one year anniversary mark, and the two of you had yet to ever undress in front of each other. He wasn’t alone with his insecurities, because you felt the same.
“Tae,” you greeted him as he stood in the kitchen eating leftovers. You wrapped your arms around his waist, and his heart started beating. You two were never a pair that did much skinship besides loose cuddling. You both often wished that you had done more, but you couldn’t help it. Clinging onto Tae, that was probably the closest you had ever been to him your entire relationship, including when you two were just friends. “Good morning.”
“M– morning,” Tae stuttered, placing his free hand on top of your hands. “Do you want the rest of this? We can go get something to eat if you’d like. Or, I could ask Jin to make something for you.” Taehyung spoke quickly, clearly wanting you to let go of his waist. You took the hint, removing your arms from him. He immediately felt guilty after seeing your expression. You loved him, and he knew that you didn’t see anything wrong with him. “Baby.”
“Taehyung,” you breathed unsteadily. He saw tears brimming in your stunning eyes, and he quickly wrapped his arms around you. He shushed you before you could say anything, feeling your hands grip onto the fabric of his shirt. You didn’t want to hug him back, fearing that he would feel awful about himself again. “I’m sorry. You’re absolutely perfect and I don’t understand why you are insecure. I’m sorry I made you feel bad about yourself…”
“Shh,” Taehyung breathed. “I’ll ease up, but that means you have to too, okay?” Taehyung spoke softly, and you nodded faintly. It would be hard to get out of your habits, but you had Tae with you. “You’re the most amazing and incredible creature, and I love you, baby.”
— A smile would be on your face as you sat on Kook’s lap. It would not be the first heated makeout session between you two, but this one seemed to last a lot longer than the others. He held onto your hips, his hands under the fabric of your shirt. You would lower your hands down to the hem of his shirt, knowing what was on both of your minds. You had been together for eight months, and nothing had come out of it yet. Today that would change, or at least you thought so.
“Babe,” Jungkook breathed as you broken away from him. You quickly removed your hands, knowing he was uncomfortable. Jungkook held onto your hips still, letting out a sigh. “I don’t have much experience… I don’t see why you’re the one always initiating this, because you can probably tell I’m not as good as—”
“Jungkook,” you interrupted. He tilted his head, confused. You would smile, placing your hands on either sides of his face. You would kiss the tip of his nose, a blush appearing on his cheeks. “I don’t care if you aren’t experienced. I want to be with you, and I know that you’re great already. You’re more experienced than me, so I should be the one talking about not being any good.” Jungkook chuckled, shaking his head.
“You always find a way to boost my confidence,” Jungkook stated. He took your hands in his and placed them on the hem of his shirt. “I love you.”
So I’ve been getting a lot of people asking a variety of questions over the last few weeks; I’ve posted some on here and others have been direct messages. A lot of them, while different, all seem to follow a theme; tell me if you can spot it:
- ‘What would you recommend when going out dressed up?’
- ‘Everything is uncomfortable, what should I wear?’
- ‘Should approach my partner/friends about crossdressing?’
Spotted it yet? All of these questions are, at their basic form, about being comfortable as a crossdresser.
During every crossdresser’s life, they’re going to fell uncomfortable; this could be either physically, mentally, or both. I’ve felt it, you’ve probably felt it, everyone feels it.
Is it because crossdressing is something that’s seen as unnatural? As though you’re doing something taboo or forbidden?
Let’s be realistic for a second here. We’re living in an age where fashion saw the boundaries of ‘normality’ and waved while they went sprinting right past; a man in a dress, no matter how feminine or masculine they look, is nothing surprising any more.
I’m gonna try not to sound like a bitch here, but it’s not them, it’s you.
So Why Am I Uncomfortable When Dressing Up?
1. Because That Dress Ain’t Right On You
I’ve said this so many times before, but I’m gaining hundreds of followers every week so I’ll say it again for all you newcomers (Hi there by the way).
Dress for your body, not what you want your body to be.
Dresses aren’t magical; they don’t just magically give you curves and hide your shoulders. If you’re going to wear a tight dress that starts just above the cleavage and stops just under the hips, you better make sure you’ve got the body to support it (go look at @abbycatsuk, she’s a perfect example of how this look can be pulled off).
Certain looks (like the short, tight dress one) is such a hard look for crossdressers; even experienced gurls, myself included, have difficulty making it work. It isn’t because you’re not good at crossdressing, it’s because these dresses aren’t made for everyone. There are a lot of actual girls out there that would struggle to wear something like that.
Instead, you should wear something that compliments your body type. @isabelladecarrington has made several great posts about this and, quite frankly, puts it much better than I could. It’s worth reading her work if you want to know how you can dress for a more feminine figure.
If you’re after the TL;DR version, don’t wear something short that will cling to your body unless you’re 100% confident it will work. Instead, try a skater dress, I’m yet to meet a gurl who doesn’t look natural in one.
2. Because you’re hiding something.
I’ve struggled a lot with this. Not just with my current partner but previous girlfriends and even friends. Hiding as a crossdresser, for some people, isn’t a choice but a necessity. However, for others, we hide it simply because we’re nervous of the reactions from those close to us.
When I told my friends I knew there wouldn’t be a negative reaction. I realised later that I struggled to tell them because I had made it into a big deal in my head.
This made me extremely uncomfortable. Any time we met where fashion or makeup was talked about, I felt like I couldn’t join in because I would out myself. At the same time I wanted my friends to know, but I felt I couldn’t tell them only because I had kept it hidden.
It felt like a bigger problem than it should have been because I had kept it a secret for so long…
Unsurprisingly, there’s an easy way around this.
If you feel uncomfortable around people because they don’t you crossdress, just tell them.
So many people don’t really care about it these days. In fact, in a lot of circles, it’s finally getting accepted as something that is simply a hobby, no different to collecting stamps or gardening.
The benefit to this; my friends ask me about Jess all the time. I get asked on a regular basis whether I’ll be going to social events as Jess or not, and sometimes Jess has even been requested to make an appearance.
This might not be a problem if you crossdress as a fetish, but for those of you who feel crossdressing is a part of who you are, it’s certainly worth a try. Worse case scenario, you find out who your real friends are.
3. Because you think people are staring at you.
Let me tell you about the first time I went out as Jess. I was wearing 6-inch platform heels and towered over practically everything and everyone in London (I was asked to change the batteries on Big Ben, I politely declined). I like to think that everything else looked on-point, but being that tall made me stand out.
I got a lot of stares from people when I first left the car, especially from an elderly drunken gentleman who couldn’t figure out if I was a man or an Amazonian. I had a few wolf-whistles and several sexual comments (probably out of jest, but I’ll take it regardless).
After a couple of minutes, I completely forgot I was even wearing a dress.
Confidence can really help here, and I can’t express how much better it was to be surrounded by friends at this point, but after not very long I stopped thinking about everyone else and just how happy I was to be out. People might have still been staring, but I was no longer caring.
The upside of this is that I only got compliments, not insults (to my face at least). Several people came to tell me about how they loved my outfit, some asked about my heeled boots and several people were shocked when they heard my voice and had simply assumed I was just hella tall.
The thing is, the people who don’t like it won’t make themselves known. The people who like/love it will go out of their way to let you know. The first step is the hardest, the rest is just a cat-walk.
Yeah… I’ve gone and dragged this on again haven’t I.
For those of you who are curious, I’m still contemplating starting the Crossdressing Magazine. I didn’t get as many responses as I wanted but it’s clear that it’s something many of you are interested in.
Regardless, here’s a picture for those of you had the patience to read through this essay of a post (much appreciated).
Yep, those are the tower boots.
I’m going to post a photoset of this outfit tomorrow, so keep your eyes peeled for that. Until then, thanks for reading! I hope this has helped a few of you.
If it has, make sure you reblog for your followers too!